


Chasing Time

by CallMeCaptain24



Series: Chasing Time [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Action, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Alpha - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempted Murder, Basilisks, Bets, Bigotry & Prejudice, Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Canon Related, Cousins, Cute, Deviates From Canon, Diagon Alley, Drinking, Drunk confessions, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Gambling, Gen, Harry Potter - Freeform, Humor, Idiotsinlove, Imfine, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jealous, Jealousy, Knockturn Alley, M/M, Magic, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mates, Mating, Memories, Misunderstandings, Montage, Mudblood, Multi, Murder, Mutual Pining, Nathan wuornos makes the best pancakes, Nightmares, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pancakes, Past Abuse, Pranks, Romance, Secrets, Slow Burn, Time Travel, Twins, Underage Drinking, Unusual Magic, Werewolf, dorlene, everythingisfine, i will fight you on this, imfineitsfineverythingisFINE, insercurities, itsfine, jily, mate, puppy dog eyes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 34
Words: 193,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeCaptain24/pseuds/CallMeCaptain24
Summary: I wasn't expecting to walk into Hogwarts that morning I chased my dog down. I don't know what I expected from the day but it was definitely not being thrown into 1977 where magic existed and the Potters were alive and well. Scratch that, Lily Evans and James Potter were alive and well. As well as the other Marauders.I'm still somewhat convinced I'm in a drug-induced coma.Coma or not though, there was no way in hell I was letting the future unfold the way it was supposed to.Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2KuEsueO7LreAvY8RIPioV?si=isWcSOnfSPq6wqQO2O9cwQ
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, James Potter & Original Female Character(s), James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter & Original Female Character(s), Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Marlene McKinnon & Original Female Character(s), Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Minerva McGonagall & Original Character(s), Regulus Black & Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Severus Snape & Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Sydney Rose
Series: Chasing Time [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710652
Comments: 376
Kudos: 531





	1. Chasing Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I posted this on harrypotterfanfiction.com 8ish years ago and never finished it. During quarantine, I found my notes on where this was going, got obsessed with HP again, and decided to try and rewrite it. Let's see how this goes...

Steam rose from my coffee as I stared out the window, cars streaming by as people walked with their faces glued to their phones. Blowing lightly on the liquid, my eyes flickered to the guy across from me. Brian droned on, not realizing I wasn’t listening to a word he said, I think he was talking about football now. Or maybe it was basketball. I lost track about an hour ago. Buzz cut, meaty hands, questionable IQ which was probably due to concussions from football. Emmy and I were going to need to have a talk when I saw her next. She wasn’t going to be allowed to set me up if this is what she thought I was into. Just because _her_ boyfriend was captain of the football team didn’t mean I had to date a football player too. Now, if said football player had a motorcycle then _maybe -_

“Sydney?” I looked back over at Brian who looked at me expectantly with washed out blue eyes.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Crap. Focus, Syd.

“You’re coming to the game tonight, right? Emmy said you two were going to go then come to the after party,” He said, taking a sip of his Smoked Butterscotch Creme Frappuccino. I’m still in shock that that was what he ordered. I mean no judgement but...ok a little judgement. It can’t even be called coffee. It’s a milkshake. My black coffee soul winced as he placed it back on the table.

“Yes, we’re planning on going. She didn’t mention the party though,” I said hesitantly. I had a feeling I knew where this was going.

“I can give you a ride over to the party after the game. We can grab ice cream,” He winked at me. _Bleh._ “Before going.”

“Can’t.” I shrugged, playing off my internal panic attack at the thought of ‘grabbing ice cream’ with him. “I have to drop back home to let my dog out. Parents are out of town.”

Brian’s eyes lit up at this news. Shit. “Really? Well maybe we-”

I cut him off before he could even _suggest_ coming over. “I have to take care of my sisters and dog all weekend. It’s a full time job. Speaking of, I need to get home before the game. Make sure no one burned the house down.” 

“I’ll see you later then,” He stood up as I swung my bag over my shoulder. He leaned towards me and I quickly turned my head, his lips landing on my cheek. Whew, that was close. First date and he’s trying to kiss me already? Yeah, how bout _no._

“Yup. See ya,” I brushed past him and hurried out the door. Wiping off my cheek with my flannel sleeve, I hit Emmy’s name on my phone. It rung twice as I jumped into my old Wrangler, put the phone on speaker, and shoved it into the dash mount. 

“Syd! How did it go? Isn’t he just _perfect_ for you?!” Emmy squealed. Turning my head, I backed out of my spot and pulled into traffic.

“You and I have a very different definitions of perfect,” I could feel her sigh through the phone.

“Or your expectations are too high. Maybe if you lowered them a little you’d see-”

I butt in. “That he wants to know me as a person and not just get in my pants? He’d have to get his head out of his ass first and I don’t know if he’s smart enough to do that.” 

“Sydney Marie, that’s rude,” She scolded.

“It’s true. He ordered a _frappuccino_ then proceeded to tell me about last week’s game in _detail._ I started zoning out when he got to half time. I have never heard a play by play of a _high school_ football game and I never plan to again. My brain can’t handle it.” I flicked the right blinker on and turned the corner. Emmy’s momentary silence spoke volumes.

“...he’s got really nice abs.”

“Emmy.”

“Sorry, Syd. I just thought if you went out with someone then maybe it would turn into a relationship. I just want you to be happy,” My sweet, sweet Emmy. Her heart really was in the right place. If only we had a bigger dating pool than our small town. It wasn’t her fault that every guy I had liked in the past few years had either strung me along only to go out with someone else out of left field or try to get into my pants. I wish that was a joke but it wasn’t. Always the friend never the girlfriend. I sort of expected it now which I think was Emmy’s main worry. She was a romantic at heart and blissfully in a perfect relationship with the man of her dreams. Literally. And I couldn’t even be anything other than happy for her. Todd was actually her other half, anyone could see that. She was so insanely happy and he was obsessed with her. It was sickeningly adorable.

“I know. And I love you for caring but do me a favor? Let’s just let me be the single third wheel for a bit. I’m a little worn out from this. You know how bad my anxiety can get,” I pulled into my driveway and cut the engine, waiting for her reply. She’d been on the other end of my panicking when someone who I truly did not want to go out with had asked me out. I hated hurting them when I said no but I also wasn’t going to go on a pity date with someone. That seemed like one of the worst things I could ever do to someone. And I should know, it’s happened to me. Twice.

She sighed loudly. “Fine. But we _will_ find you someone. And then we can go on double dates and get a beach house before college and they can move into an apartment together and we can move-”

“Emmy, it’s September. Let’s wait until after Christmas to plan summer, okay?” I smiled at her enthusiasm. 

“ _Fine,_ ruin all my fun.”

“Speaking of fun, when were you going to mention the afterparty I’m supposed to be going to?” She couldn’t see my arched eyebrow but I knew she could tell I wasn’t happy with this development in my plans for the night.

“We talked about it on Tuesday, Syd.” She said carefully. I wasn’t a big party person like she was. I’m more of a homebody and she was a socialite. I loved her but I wasn’t a fan of being dragged to parties every weekend.

“ _You_ talked about it but I never said I was going to go,” I pointed out.

“Come _on,_ Syd! It’s senior year, you _have_ to go. I’ll see you in an hour. And wear the green shirt! It makes your boobs look great! LOVE YOU!” She rushed out then hung up before I could protest.

“Emmy,” I groaned, dropping my head against the steering wheel. That girl was going to owe me big time for this. Pulling my backpack from the passenger side floor, I threw it over my shoulder and hopped out of my car. Mrs. Baker, our elderly neighbor, waved as I walked up to the house. I waved back with a smile. Then opened my front door to chaos.

“ _ **MOOOOOOOOM!**_ JESSA TOOK MY SHIRT!” screamed Hayley from somewhere in the house. I dropped my bag, bending down to greet my dog Tux, then made my way to the kitchen at the back of the house. My mom rolled her eyes at me.

“Jessa, give your sister her shirt back,” Mom half-heartedly yelled. I shook my head and leaned against the counter. Mom was finishing up packing food for her camping trip with Dad. She turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “You sure you’ll be fine this weekend?”

“Yes. Besides it’s not like anyone will be here,” I replied. I may had lied a little to Brian. I was going to basically be home alone all weekend. The twins were staying with my grandmother and Shay was going to be in and out of the house all weekend due to regatta training. She would be sleeping at the boathouse with her team like she did every other weekend. And my parents were camping. Having the house to myself was a once in a year opportunity and there was no way I was wasting it. I planned on binging Harry Potter books and movies while eating sushi until I burst. After the stupid party, of course.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Mom zipped up the cooler. “Make sure you check in with the girls. Our phones-”

“Won’t have any service. I know. And don’t worry, everything will be fine. It’s one weekend. I can even see if Emmy will sleepover one night,” I offered. I knew the answer would be no but it would make my mom feel better. 

She smiled at me, pushing a stray blonde hair back behind her ear. Everyone said I looked and sounded like my mom, except for the coloring. She was blonde and blue eyed like my sister Shay while I got my dad’s coloring, dark dark brown hair and coffee colored eyes. The twins were a mix, light brown hair with blue eyes. Also midgets compared to the rest of the family. My guy cousins were all over 6 foot and the girls were at least 5’ 8” including myself. Hayley and Jessa came in at around 5’ 5” and were the shortest in the family. Even my grandmother was taller and I’m pretty sure she lost a few inches in her old age. “Good, you girls haven’t had time to yourselves in a while. I like Todd but I miss Emmy being around.”

“What? I’m not good enough by myself? I’ll make sure to tell Emmy that she’s your favorite.” Mockingly, I put a hand to my heart. “I’ll start packing my bags-”

“You are my most dramatic child,” Mom muttered, shaking her head. “Must be from your father.”

“Her good looks? Nope, she got that from you, dear.” Dad swept in, kissing Mom on the forehead while stealing a small bag of Doritos. She tutted at him and pushed him towards the doorway.

“Sweet talker. We need to get on the road and drop the twins off,” Mom said, gathering up the cooler. Tux ran around Dad’s legs until he bent over and scratched his ears.

“Take care of Sydney, sir.” He said seriously to the black lab. My dog looked up at him with worship. Standing with a groan, he yelled to the rest of the house. “GIRLS, LET’S GO!”

Footsteps pounding down the stairs as my three sisters raced to my parents. Jessa and Hayley sprinted out the door, arguing over which side of the car they would sit on. Shay came in and hugged both my parents.

Mom came over to give me one last hug and I rolled my eyes at her but accepted it. “It’s just the weekend.”

“I know, I know. It’s just...you girls are getting so old, so fast. Sometimes it’s hard to leave you alone even for a weekend. Be good. No drinking. No -”

“Boys,” Shay and I chorused. We giggled and Mom shook her head at us. 

“I love you, girls.” Mom said. Then smacked her husband on the shoulder. He looked over, Dorito dust on his cheek.

Swallowing, Dad gave us each a squeeze. “Love you, girls. And Syd, if you want a project for the weekend, that Impala needs a new transmission.”

“We’ll see. Love you guys, too. Have fun,” Dad restored old cars when he wasn’t at the shop fixing new ones. I’d started helping him and now he seemed to think any free time I had could be spent on fixing up the beaters he collected. I knew my way around a car but I would take a book over a motor any day of the week. Finally, the shut the door behind them and they pulled away in the truck. I turned to Shay. “What time are you leaving?”

She glanced at the clock on the wall. “Hmm, bout an hour. You going to the football after party?”

“I guess. Emmy’s making me,” I wrinkled my nose and Shay laughed.

“Well call me if you get too drunk. We’re watching Frozen again so I don’t mind missing some of that.” She made her way back upstairs to pack for the weekend. Her blonde head disappeared and I shook my head. If anyone was going to need a drunk ride home it would be her not me. I may be a year older but drinking was not really my thing, Shay had a much higher tolerance than I did. 

\---

“Well, look at you!” Tony yelled as I walked into a packed house. I shut the door behind me and hugged my friend. He put his hands on my shoulders and did a sweep of my body. I wore the green shirt like Emmy had asked, my leather jacket thrown over it, and normal skinny jeans. Honestly, I looked like I always did. Just a little more cleavage than usual. Tony just liked to be more dramatic than me. “You look frumpy for all of us during the day but at night you actually show off that smoking hot body. I’m hurt that you would hide _that_ from me.”

“Sure you are. Good thing you have Stephen to kiss you all better,” I teased. Said Stephen popped up behind Tony and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist.

“You called?” Stephen asked with a smirk.

“Look at her, babe! She has boobs!” Tony leaned heavily on his boyfriend. Apparently he was more drunk than I had originally thought. “Wait, who are you trying to hook up with?!”

“No on-” A large arm fell on my shoulders. I looked up to see Brian grinning drunkenly at me. Jesus.

He shoved a red solo cup into my hand. Yeah, no way was I drinking that. “Hey, honey. I was wondering when you’d show up.”

Tony and Stephen’s eyes widened and they began to back away slowly, disappearing into the living room. Smart boys.

I spun and faced Brian, narrowing my eyes at him. He swayed slightly at the sudden movement. “One date, Brian. One. We’re not _dating_ so don’t call me _honey._ ”

“Would you like ‘pumpkin’ better?” He asked, oblivious to the actual issue. 

Pushing past him, I went to the kitchen and dumped the concoction Brian had handed me into the sink. The _nerve_ of that dumbass, acting as though we were dating or something. One date, if you could even call it that, and he was calling me _honey._ Gag.

“SYD!” Screeched my best friend. Emmy stumbled into me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. “I missed you! Tony said Brian _hiccup_ called you _babe._ ”

I supported my inebriated best friend, wrapping an arm around her waist as she giggled. “It was honey. And he clearly doesn’t understand boundaries.”

“Thank you for not punching _hiccup_ him. Todd would be so sad if you did.” Emmy booped me on the nose.

Rolling my eyes, I looked for the boyfriend. Todd was leaning against the fridge and shrugged at me. “I’d live.”

“Good to know. And next time, I might not hold back,” I was actually glad Emmy had Todd. He really loved her. Even now, he clearly had had a few drinks but he was focused on Emmy and making sure she would be okay and not fall face first into a counter. It’s happened. “Now, let’s go play some flip cup so I can kick Todd’s ass again.”

He downed the rest of his beer then pointed at me. “You’re on.”

\---

A wet nose nudged my hand. Cracking my eyes open, sunlight burned into my retinas. I pulled the comforter over my head but Tux whined in frustration. Get a dog they said, it would be fun they said. Groaning, I dragged myself up and stumbled down the stairs, pulling my dark brown hair into a long ponytail. Tux shoved past my legs as I opened the back door and went to run outside. I rubbed my eyes, trying to not go blind from the sun. I kind of wish I was hungover instead of just tired. The party had gone on until 4am and I had stayed sober the whole time, even during flip cup. Todd knew I wasn’t a big drinker but still liked to challenge me to any and every game we could play. It was fun and kept us out of trouble. Only getting a few hours of sleep though made me feel as though I had drunk as much as Emmy had. 

I still had my jeans on from last night, too tired to take them off, and at some point switched shirts so my boobs weren’t hanging out. The worn Gryffindor shirt was starting to get holes in it. Maybe Emmy would get me a new one for my birthday. Frowning, I looked at the sky. It had been blindingly bright a minute ago but it now looked as though it was going to pour. I opened my mouth to call Tux back when I saw the cat. Unfortunately, Tux saw it too.

“Tux, no!” I yelled, sprinting after him barefoot just as it began to pour. My adorably dumb dog raced after the cat and straight into the woods at the end of the street. Twigs snapped under my feet as I followed him in. It got darker as we raced down the trail, branches scratching my arms but I kept running. I managed to grasped Tux’s collar as we were running when a flash of white blinded me and thunder crashed loudly. I stumbled and fell, temporarily blinded.

What the actual fuck? Blinking, I pushed myself up from my crouch on the forest floor and looked around for Tux. Spots of white still dotted my vision but I saw him a few feet ahead of me still running. Damn dog. Getting my feet back under me, I ran after him again. Something moved to the left of me, just out of sight. It looked like a...horse? With someone leading it? In the woods? Weird. Pushing harder, I almost grabbed Tux again but slipped on a rock and lost him.

He ran out of the tree line and onto a grass field ahead. Panting, I ran but stumbled to a stop when I crossed over where the woods ended and stared. At a castle. And Tux running through the open front door.

Crap.

Tux first. Then worry about the completely _random_ castle in the woods by my house.

Racing up the stone stairs, I slipped into a foyer to see Tux’s black tail disappear through another open door. Ignoring my surroundings, my bare feet left wet footprints as I quickly chased after my dog. Pushing open the door, an apology ready on my lips for the castle’s owner, I stopped in shock. Pure unadulterated shock.

Water dripped loudly as an entire _hall_ of people turned to stare at me. And when I say a hall, I specifically mean the Great Hall. As in _Harry freaking Potter Great Hall._ Banners draped from the ceiling, candles hovered in midair, hundreds of students eating dinner, and an amused Albus Dumbledore just _winked_ at me from across the room.

What. The actual. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags, warnings, etc. will be updated as I write. Hope everyone is doing well during quarantine and staying safe.


	2. Uncharted

I was drugged. Brian clearly drugged my soda last night and I was having a hallucination. There was no other explanation. None. I had truly and utterly lost my mind.

The sound of someone cooing to my dog broke my panic. Tux was sitting in the middle of the room being _pet_ by a random person. The only person in the whole room who _wasn’t_ staring at me. Walking straight down the rows of student filled tables, their eyes following me, I grabbed a tight hold of my dog’s collar.

“I am so sorry, I-” The guy looked up and every single thought in my head just vanished. Holy shit. Saying he was good looking would be an injustice to the world. Black hair, dark grey eyes, the dark ink of a tattoo peeking out from the collar of his shirt, and was that a dog collar on his neck? My body felt as though it had dropped from a roller coaster. That stomach dropping, holy crap moment before gravity catches up with you.

“No problem. He’s beautiful. A black lab?” He asked with a husky voice. Oh no. Why? Why did he have to _sound_ like _that?_ I nodded dumbly, tearing my gaze away from his to land on the _other_ good looking guy sitting next to him. Chocolate colored eyes peered at me beneath shaggy brown hair. Where the _hell_ was I? And why didn’t my school have guys this good looking?

Desperately, I looked across from the two of them to see - was that - Harry Potter? I could feel my eyes widen in surprise. But...no. His eyes weren’t green. Red hair flashed out of the corner of my eye and I whipped around, eyes skipping over a shorter person, to meet those missing green eyes. Which meant-

 _No. Way._

Not Harry Potter. _James_ Potter. Which made _them-_

God damn it. I was doped up with something _really_ strong.

“Are you alright? You just got really pale,” Sirius Black asked worriedly, still stroking Tux’s head.

“F-fine.” I gulped and backed away a step. “I-”

“Miss Rose. You’re late.” I turned my head to see an elderly man with a long silver beard a foot from us. Albus Dumbledore. A slightly younger version but clearly still Albus Dumbledore. He waited a heartbeat, as though I had an _answer_ for him as to why I was _late._ Like he had been waiting for me. Calmly, he handed me a black dog leash and inclined his head. “Follow me, Miss Rose. We can get you sorted.”

Snapping the leash onto Tux, I looked at the group of people next to me. The Marauders. And Lily Evans. Holy _fuck_ I was losing it. Quickly, I followed Dumbledore and tried my best not to hyperventilate.

\---

Dumbledore shut the door behind us and brushed past me towards his desk, “Miss Rose-”

“How do you know my name?” I demanded. I let go of Tux’s leash and he began to wander around the office, sniffing the bookshelves. Focusing on the man in front of me, I crossed my arms and waited.

“Because you told me.” He said calmly, taking a seat at his desk. Looking like it was _completely normal_ for me to be here.

“I. Told. You.” I said slowly. My brain trying to process the sentence. “That’s impossible.”

“So is you being here but here you are.” Waving his hand at me, as proof of how possible this was.

“Where is _here_ exactly?” Narrowing my eyes at him.

“Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” A small grin played on his face. Bastard.

“Don’t mess with me. _When_ is _here?_ ” I asked, very aware of my improper grammar. I was having a mental breakdown, gimme a break.

“1977.” Dumbledore replied. 1977. _1977._ As in 40 years in the past. In _Hogwarts._ When it was supposed to be _2017._ Maybe I hit my head. I knocked myself out and I’m in a coma lost in the woods by my house. Yup. “You are not in a coma, Miss Rose.”

I must have been talking out loud. First sign of crazy, talking to yourself. “Sydney. Stop calling me Miss Rose. My name is Sydney.”

“Very well, Sydney. Would you like to sit down? Some tea?” He gestured towards a chair in front of his desk. I plopped down and stared at him as he poured me a cup of tea. _Tea_ with _Dumbledore._ What is my life?

He said _I_ told him about me coming here. “What did you mean? That I told you?”

Passing a hot cup of chamomile tea to me, he offered a cup of sugar. I shook my head so he placed it back on the oak desk then leaned back in his chair. “10 years ago I received a visit from you. Not you now but future you. You came to me and explained about how you would be arriving as well as giving me the key to your Gringotts vault-”

“A vault?” Confused as to _why_ I would have a vault. If I had money that meant future me knew I would be here a while and would need to buy things. My breath grew shorter. I was going to be here. For a _while._

“Yes. Your future self did not explain how you gained your money though,” He stroked his beard thoughtfully. “I imagine you invested in a few companies to gain interest and a sizable income to help you when you arrived. As I was saying though,” He waved his hand as if it wasn’t important. “You informed me that you would be arriving today and that I was to give you this.” He held a letter out to me.

Warily, I took the letter from him. My name was printed on the envelope. In _my_ handwriting. Without waiting for Dumbledore’s permission, I ripped open the envelope. My eyes rapidly took in every word.

>   
>  Sydney,  
>  Yes, you are in 1977 and in Hogwarts. No, Brian did not drug you (although I wouldn’t put it past him. That drink last night was probably spiked). I can’t tell you much more than that. I’ve done as much as I can that will make this a little easier but there isn’t much I can share. Time travel rules. And I do realize I created a chicken-egg situation. Don’t think about it too much, you’ll get a headache.  
>  What I can tell you is this: things change. This isn’t what you think it is. You being here changes _everything_ but things will still happen as they did in the story. You need to prevent these things from happening. No matter what. Work towards changing the future. Save them. Do not let Voldemort win. And trust your gut. Good luck.  
>  -Future Sydney  
>  PS - Duck  
> 

Dropping my head, I felt the air stir above me as Fawkes flew over me and landed on his perch next to the desk. That was a close one. And...Future Me knew that would happen. Man, I didn’t think my brain could be this detailed when it was on chemicals this strong. It all felt so _real._ Folding the letter back up, I looked at Dumbledore to see him watching me.

“So.” I drummed my fingers on the chair beneath me. Maybe I should just go with this for now. I would either wake up and have the memory of the craziest dream or...or I was going to be stuck here for a while. “That was cryptic. Did she tell you anything else?”

“A few things. But we should get going.” He stood and walked towards the fireplace.

“Going? Going where?” Thrown off by his abrupt movement.

“Gringotts. Then Diagon Alley. You need school supplies, clothing, -”

“Woah, woah, woah. Calm down there. We can’t just - I can’t -”

“Miss Rose. Sydney. I don’t know your purpose for being here. I imagine it will come to light while you are here with us but your future self was very insistent that we move quickly and get you settled. Once we have your items, we’ll return here and sort you into your house. Oh and a quick stop to see the Potters.”

“The Potters?” I asked with confusion.

“Your shirt,” He pointed at the gold and red shirt I had on. “It would suggest you are related.”

I smacked my hand on my forehead. My shirt. My _Gryffindor_ shirt that looked like it had seen better days especially after running through a forest. _Potter_ was written on the back. And hundreds of people just saw it. Damn it. I basically just announced I was a Potter even though I wasn’t.

“I believe they’re expecting you.” Amusement sparkled in his blue eyes. He was enjoying this. “Now, come along. We’ll discuss more as we shop. I need a new pair of socks while we’re there.”

“Of course you do,” I muttered. My brow furrowed. “But Tux-”

“Will be fine. Won’t you, Tux?” My dog barked back in response. Traitor. Dumbledore held out a jar full of sparkling green dust. Floo Powder. 

“Where to?” I asked as I grabbed a handful of the sand-like powder.

“The Leaky Cauldron should do.” He said. “Remember, say it clearly or you may end up in a place you’d rather not be.”

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes at him, I stepped into the fireplace and threw the powder, yelling, “THE LEAKY CAULDRON”

\---

Rolling onto the carpeted floor, I coughed as Tux licked my face clean. I pushed him away, coughing more and laughing as he tried to lick my face again. Dumbledore stepped out gracefully behind me. “I am going to settle a few things. We can bring out the Sorting Hat when I return. Please, eat something while you wait.”

He gestured towards his desk and I turned to see a plate of Shepard’s pie steaming there along with a large glass of water. I nodded and made my way over, “Ok, see you-”

Looking over my shoulder, I realized I was alone. “Soon.”

Shrugging, I went and sat down, pulling the plate towards me and digging in. Tux curled up next to my chair and fell asleep. My brain began to spin in circles as I tried to sort through the blur of the last three hours. 

After stopping at Gringotts to get money from my vault - which by the way, Future Me made sure I was LOADED. I wonder who I killed to get all that money - we made our way to a clothing shop so I could have something to wear beside my current outfit and of course get a uniform.

“So what am I?” I had asked Dumbledore, flipping through a rack of sweatshirts - sorry, _jumpers._

“A Traveler. There isn’t much information about Travelers. The individuals such as yourself are rare, your ability the rarest.” I opened my mouth to ask him to explain but he continued, knowing my intention. “Worlds exist parallel to each other, very similar sometimes but not always.”

“Like magic existing.” I added, waving my hand around us.

“Yes, like magic. Some Travelers can jump from one plane of exist to another in the same time period. Others can jump either forward in time or back in time. And then there are those-”

“Let me guess, can jump both at once?” Pulling a black noodie from the rack. “Lucky me. But _how_ did I do it? And how can I get back?”

“Unfortunately, I’m not exactly sure how you managed to get here in the first place.” He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. “Unless you do.”

“No.” I said quietly and looked down. Then another thought occurred to me and I snapped my head back up. “But what about my family? Won’t they be worried?”

“Time travel is very complicated and traveling to different planes even more so but from what I understand, it will be like you never left when you return. When you return, you should be back around the same time you left. Give or take a few hours depending on how long you’re in our world. That was how you explained it to me.”

“Huh. Future Me seems to know a lot.” I muttered.

“You were...direct when you came to visit. You shared information but not specifics about what would happen in our future.” Dumbledore placed a maroon pair of socks back, picking up a pair of emerald green ones.

“Speaking of your future, I know a lot about it. How is that possible?”

“Do you believe you’re the only Traveler to exist?”

“I- woah.” I dropped the underwear I was holding. Rowling was a Traveler. She must have been. How else would she know so much about this place? Granted, I was going off the theory that I _wasn’t_ having a complete psychotic episode. Quickly, I scooped up the underwear and put it back in the pile, shaking my head. “This is a mind fuck.”

“Hmm. Indeed,” He looked over at me carefully. “When you came to visit years ago, you did not reveal _how_ you knew the future. Care to enlighten an old man?”

Biting my lip, I thought for a moment. How _much_ could I say? I knew when this man was going to _die._ That was a lot to handle. I also didn’t know the specifics of this time period from the books but I had a vague idea about it. I couldn’t exactly share everything I knew. “A woman, J.K. -sorry, Joanne Rowling, wrote a book series about this place. Not now but...about 14 years from now.”

“I have not met anyone by that name but we can search, if you’d like. See if this Ms. Rowling has any way to help you back to your home.” Dumbledore mused, picking up a pair of purple socks to join the emerald pair. “As to everything you know, you must be here for a reason. Maybe the reason you were sent here is because -”

“Things change.” I said, repeating the words in the letter to myself. Dumbledore nodded. "But won't that change my world?"

"There is a possibility, yes but Ms. Rowling may have been on another plane, where the exact same story will continue. Or since the story has already been written in your world, it may not change at all. If she is indeed on this plane, then yes your world could change a bit."

"And you think it would still be a good idea? To change what will happen?" I asked.

"To save the lives of countless witches, wizards, and Muggles? Yes, I believe that it would be a good idea." He paused for a moment. “Although, I do not suggest telling anyone of where you come from or what you know. We live in dangerous times, Miss Rose.”

We continued to shop through all of Diagon Alley, getting books and a wand. My arms were bursting with bags by the time we went to the last shop. With a wave of his wand, my packages disappeared and we made our way back towards the Leaky Cauldron.

“I’m 17 years old, almost 18. That would make me 7th year, right?” I asked as we walked along the cobblestone.

“It would.”

“So how am I supposed to know _seven years_ worth of magical knowledge without ever knowing magic was real?” Pointing out a massive flaw in this ‘big plan’ to change the future. 

Dumbledore smirked at me. “You’ll take a potion before you go to sleep tonight and it’ll all be there by morning.”

I stopped in my tracks in disbelief. He turned around, realizing I had stopped. “You expect me to believe some potion is going to just _magically_ make me know years worth of magic?”

“Considering you created it, yes I do.” Dumbledore nodded wryly.

“I did what now?” Nope. Definitely have lost my mind. There’s no _way_ I’m smart enough to create a potion like that. Or _any_ potion for that matter.

“You had some help from a few friends but yes, you were the one who created it.” He watched me shake my head. “I trust that it will work since your future self had to have learned magic overnight.”

“Chicken-egg.” Damn me. I followed Dumbledore into the pub and instead of going back towards the fireplace, he lead us to a booth near the front window. A couple, older than my parents, looked up and smiled as we joined them.

“Oh, Sydney! It’s wonderful to see you again! Or meet you. Nevermind, come here, my dear.” The woman, about my height, jumped up and wrapped me into a tight hug. I spat out her red hair discreetly and awkwardly hugged her back. She pulled back but held onto my shoulders. “Merlin, you look just like you did 10 years ago. Doesn’t she Monty?”

“She does, dear. Hello, Sydney, it’s wonderful meeting you again. I’m Fleamont Potter and this is my wife, Effie.” Mr. Potter extended a hand which I shook, grateful I wasn’t going to have to hug more strangers.

“Sit, sit, sit.” Mrs. Potter ushered us to the other side of the table. “We have much to discuss.”

Helplessly, I sat down and looked at them both. “Hopefully Future Me explained things to you two because I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to be related to you.”

“You’re our niece, dear.” Mrs. Potter grasped my hands that had been lying on the table. “Monty’s sister’s daughter.”

“Niece-” I started, Mr. Potter nodded.

“My younger sister had a falling out with our parents. She ran away with your father because my parents wouldn’t support their marriage. We haven’t spoken of her since. At least, that’s what James and Sirius will be told.” He explained with a wink.

Raising an eyebrow, I subtly escaped from Mrs. Potter’s grip to take a sip of water from one of the glasses on the table. “Really? And you think James and the others will buy this?”

“They did. Your future self knew exactly what the story would be about your family. And why you’re here now.” Mr. Potter said.

Mrs. Potter jumped in. “He-who-must-not-be-named is after you and we offered to hide you until it’s safe.”

“Vold-” Hisses cut me off. The Potters looked around the pub worriedly. “Alright, why would _he_ be after me?”

The Potters and Dumbledore exchanged glances. I narrowed my eyes and looked at each of them. “Wait a minute, is Vol-”

“Shhhhh.”

“Sorry, but is _he_ actually after me?” How could this even be possible? I wasn’t even supposed to _be_ here let alone have the most dangerous wizard after my dumb ass.

“He doesn’t know he’s looking for you. Yet.” Dumbledore said ominously. “If anyone asks, you were sworn not to discuss it.”

“I can’t discuss something I don’t know.” Chicken-egg. Future Me knows why Voldemort is after me but can’t tell me but I’ll find out in the future then tell them I need to be hidden and wow my brain hurts. “ _Why_ is he going to be looking for me though? Surely Future Me would’ve told you.”

The adults traded worried glances. They _knew_ but they weren’t going to tell me. Mr. Potter spoke first. “Your future self said it would be best not to tell you. Safer. That you’d learn about it soon.”

“Don’t worry too much, dear. It will all work out.” Mrs. Potter said encouragingly. She patted my hand again and smiled. “We’ll write to James tomorrow and explain everything. This has probably been a lot for you, dear. You and Albus head on back to school and we’ll see you at Christmas break.”

I nodded distractedly, too wrapped up in my own thoughts to try and escape another hug from Mrs. Potter. Even Mr. Potter snuck one in. Hopefully James wasn’t as touchy feely as his parents.

“Sydney?” Fingers lightly touched my shoulder. I looked up at Dumbledore holding a ratty old hat in his hands. “Are you ready for your sorting?”

“I guess.” Sighing, I held my breath as Dumbledore placed the Sorting Hat on my head.

“Well, Ms. Rose, you aren’t in Kansas anymore. Or should I say Virginia anymore?” I jumped a little. I knew what would happen but it still surprised me. _Clever._ I thought and rolled my eyes. “Sarcastic, and most certainly a witch, a powerful one at that. Now, where to put you? Very intelligent and quite the bookworm, perhaps a Ravenclaw? But you are quite kind, maybe a Hufflepuff?”

 _I don’t_ find _that very funny. We both know where you’re going to put me so stop stalling._ I thought, a little angry that he would even think of putting me in Hufflepuff.

“Maybe you should go to Slytherin. You’ve got quite the temper.”

 _Don’t even_ THINK _about it._ Although I had always considered myself a Gryffindor, this wasn’t about my preferred house. I _needed_ to be in Gryffindor. I wouldn’t be able to get close to James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus if I was in another house. The only point I could see to me being here was to save them-

He chuckled. Damn magical hat chuckling. “Alright, alright don’t get your wand in a knot. GRYFFINDOR!”

“Really? Was it necessary to yell?” I asked out loud.

“Habit.” It replied. I rolled my eyes again and took the thing off my head, handing it back to Dumbledore. He placed it back on the shelf and then turned to me grinning. I swear he must grin all the time, he hasn’t stopped since I met him. The hat spoke up again. “You would’ve be placed into Gryffindor regardless of your intentions. I know a Gryffindor when I meet one.”

I bit my lip to stop the smile from spreading. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

“One last thing before you go to bed, Miss Rose.” Dumbledore walked around his desk and pulled out a vial of purple liquid. I carefully took the vial from him and studied it for a minute.

Uncorking it, I hesitated for a moment. This felt like the point of no return. After I drank this, I was in this. If I didn’t wake up back at home then I was truly going to try and save this world from becoming a shit show in a few years. “Bottoms up.”

Gagging, the liquid slid harshly down my throat. I grimaced at the Headmaster. “That wasn’t so -”

Blackness enveloped me in a wave. Maybe this is the part where I wake up and realized I _was_ actually on something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun duuuuun. Thoughts? Feelings? Concerns? 
> 
> Side bar - I'm thinking around 300-350 students (4-6 per dorm. 10-12 per grade. So roughly 300.) The inconsistencies in HP/JK are unreal and drive me up a wall. I know the movies had like 600 kids but let's be real. We knew about ONLY a few in Harry's grade. If I was living with some weirdos for 7 years of my life, you best believe I would know every single one of their names. I mean I graduated with around 450 students in my grade alone and I knew at LEAST 80% by the end of four years. And JK only writes about a few of them? But there are 600 of them all together? Yeah, I don't think so.


	3. New Romantics

A wet nose nudged my hand. Cracking my eyes open, sunlight burned into my retinas. I pulled the comforter over my head but Tux whined in frustration. Get a dog they said, it would be fun they said-

I gasped and sat up straight in my bed. Maroon curtains surrounded me, Tux’s head peeking in where the curtain met the bed, watching me expectantly. Yesterday came crashing back as I flopped back onto my pillow. Hogwarts. Voldemort. Potters. Not a dream.

Tux nudged my hand again. Regardless of where I was, Tux still needed to go out. I couldn’t neglect him just because I was having a mental breakdown. Glancing at the watch on my wrist, I saw it was a little before 7am. One thing I had insisted on getting yesterday was a watch. When I chased Tux into another _plane of existence,_ I hadn’t brought my phone. Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t but I at least needed to know what time is was. And it was comforting knowing the time, something that hadn't changed when I 'traveled'. 

Unsurprisingly, no one was up. Dumbledore had told me the day before that it was Saturday September 23, 1977. Which meant today was Sunday and the entire castle of students had the weekend off. Unless I time traveled in my sleep. Damn it, please don’t let that be a thing. I rolled out of bed quietly and threw on my black noodie and new converse. There weren’t a lot of shoe choices when we had gone shopping but at least I had shoes now.

Tux and I wandered down towards the front entrance. Or what I hoped was the direction of the front entrance. I assumed Tux knew where outside was and followed his lead. Luckily, a few minutes later, I was proven right and opened the front door to let him out. I kept a careful eye on him, considering last time he ran off and I jumped into _another plane of existence._ I wasn’t going to get over that any time soon. My fingers ran over the smooth wood of my wand. Sycamore with a phoenix feather core, 12 and 1/4 inches. Dumbledore had impressed upon me that I keep it with me at all times. Thinking about it, I could see his point. I didn’t know how to use it yet, at least I didn’t think I did, but it would be suspicious if a witch didn’t have her wand with her. Jesus fucking Christ. I was a witch. An honest to God - honest to Merlin? - witch.

Tux raced back towards me, tailing wagging and we walked into a quiet Great Hall. A few students sat at their respective tables, eating breakfast. As I looked around, two dog bowls sitting beneath the middle of the Gryffindor table caught my eye. Well, I guess that’s my seat.

I sat down as Tux scarfed down his food below me. As I was reaching for what I hoped was a coffee pot, I felt two thumps on either side of me.

“Good morning.” Sirius grinned next to me, reaching past me to steal the coffee pot from my hand.

“Uh, good morning.” I replied, trying to grab the coffee back but Sirius just passed it James, avoiding my grabby hands.

“You left last night without even telling us your name, love.” Sirius said with a pout, directing my focus back to him. Damn, that lip was just made to -

STOP. No, bad Sydney.

“Just plain rude.” He teased.

“The rudest.” James interjected, placing the coffee pot on the other side of him, farther from me. I raised an eyebrow at him and leaning over, getting up in his space as I grabbed the coffee pot and _finally_ poured myself a cup.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” I countered, blowing lightly on my cup. The right side of Sirius’ mouth twitched up. Two could play this game, buddy.

He held his hand out. “Sirius Black.”

I gripped it tightly and shook. Sparks dancing up my arm but I refused to let it show. My brain was _clearly_ malfunctioning. “Sydney Rose.”

“A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” He winked slyly but I rolled my eyes at his pretty words. "And the _handsomest_ boy here? What’s his name?” I looked down to see Tux with his head in Sirius’ lap, the spoiled dog.

“Tux.” Sirius scratched his head and began to sweet talk him. I shook my head and turned towards James. He squinted at me through his glasses, a confused look on his face.

“Have we met before?” He pointed at my face. “You look familiar.”

“Not that I’m aware of. And you are?” I asked, feigning ignorance. 

“James Potter.” He wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, crumbs from the muffin he was eating going everywhere.

“Oh, Aunt Effie said she was going to-” I looked up as an owl flew towards us. “that must be her letter.”

“Weird. The owls normally wait to come in together.” Sirius said as we watched the owl land in front of James. He fed the owl a piece of bacon and untied the letter quickly. Sirius leaned his chest against my right shoulder, crowding in, his left hand rested on the bench next to my left hip, trying to get a glimpse of the letter. This dude was essentially draped over me and I _couldn’t move._ What was _wrong_ with me? Normally, I would’ve shoved his ass off this bench but -

“Mum must’ve thought it was too important.” James unceremoniously ripped the letter open. A thump across the table directed our attention towards the tall, gangly guy who had been sitting next to Sirius yesterday. Delicate scars scattered across his face, brown eyes watched me through the brown hair falling into them. Remus Lupin. “Hey, Moons.”

“Morning. I thought you two had Quidditch practice?” Remus asked, buttering a piece of toast.

“Done. Prongs ran us ragged. Again.” Sirius rolled his eyes but didn’t move an inch away from me. I may or may not have been having a stroke. That’s why I couldn’t move. Obviously. “Oh, Moons. This is Sydney. Sydney, this is Remus.”

“Nice to meet you, Sydney.” Remus smiled tentatively. I grinned back.

“You too, Rem-” I started but James cut me off loudly.

“Cousin?! I have a cousin?!” James gasped dramatically. Sirius leaned further over and I had to lean towards James or my face was going to end up pressed against Sirius’ chest. Actually-

“What’s it _say,_ Prongs?!” Demanded Sirius, pulling the letter from James’ hands. James stared at me with disbelief. I heard Sirius mutter to himself, reading the letter quickly. “Dear Jaimy blah blah blah your cousin Sydney blah blah blah staying at Hogwarts and with us blah bla-”

“Jaimy?” I looked over at James in question.

“Nuh-uh, only Mum gets to call me Jaimy.” He protested.

Sirius cut himself off with a gasp. “Mum threatened pie. PRONGS, MUM THREATENED THE PIE.”

“I KNOW.” James threw up his hands. “How are we not supposed to get into trouble when we have a new Potter to initiate? _How_ Padfoot?!”

Sirius had finally moved away and gave me room to breathe. He stroked the stubble coming in on his chin. Stubble. I’m going to have to murder this boy or I’m going to get into _serious_ trouble. “If we don’t get caught then she won’t know and we can still have pie.”

“Or you two could behave for once. It’s a thought.” Remus put in, trying not to laugh.

“It’s like he doesn’t know us at all, Padfoot.” James whispered loudly then scoffed. “ _Behave._ ”

“Well you _are_ Head Boy now, Prongs. Moons may have a point.” Sirius pointed out.

James gasped more dramatically. “ _Traitor._ ”

I shook my head in amusement and stood. “While this is fun, I’m going to -”

“Woah, where do you think you’re going?” James dragged me back down to the bench.

“Uh, to the common room?” I said with suspicion, raising at eyebrow at the hand on my arm. James didn’t even notice my look, he just continued on as if it was normal to hold hostage a person you just met.

“The girls will want to meet you. Especially Lily. Hey! You can help me win Lily over!” James said enthusiastically.

“Who is Lily?” I asked. Remus and Sirius groaned loudly, dropping their heads on the table simultaneously. 

“Now you’ve done it.” Sirius groaned.

James got a dreamy look in his eye. “Lily Evans! The most beautiful, smartest, talentiest, creativist, -”

“Those aren’t words, Prongs.” Remus inputted but James continued on.

“Woman who’s ever existed. Her hair shines like firewhiskey, her eyes sparkle like emeralds-”

“Are you writing sonnets about me again, Potter? I thought you got over that phase.” A redhead sat next to Remus gracefully.

“Lily! My love, my light, my beautiful-” James was practically drooling as he gazed at Lily. Said redhead rolled her eyes and turned towards me.

“Lily Evans.” She stuck her hand out professionally. “7th year Head Girl.”

“Nice to meet you,” I replied, shaking her hand. “Sydney Rose. 7th year too. James’ cousin.”

“Really? You’re related? You seem completely sane.” She asked skeptically.

“Beats me.” I shrugged. “Besides I think it’s just Jaimy who’s lost it. Aunt Effie and Uncle Monty are completely normal.”

“Hey! I have not lost it! And you just met me! And don’t call me Jaimy!” Tux barked under the table at James. “She started it!”

“Are you defending yourself to my dog?” I asked, staring at him worriedly.

“Yes,” James nodded seriously. “He can’t yell at me for defending myself!”

“You’re not helping your case.” I pointed out, taking another sip of coffee.

“I like her. Can we keep her, Prongsie?” Sirius asked, slinging an arm over my shoulder. Breathe, Syd, brea- I bit my lip and stopped breathing for a minute. The smell of sweaty dude musk should _not_ be that good. I carefully placed my mug on the table and leaned over to get a piece of toast, subtly shrugging off Sirius’ arm. 

Here’s the thing. I don’t _mind_ being touched by other people. It just wasn’t something I was used to. Granted, I had a plethora of cousins, aunts, uncles, and three sisters who I was around constantly, so this ping-pong back and forth nonsense was soothing in a way. We just didn’t constantly touch each other. Emmy was probably the only one who would and that was mostly when she was drunk off her ass. I was getting the feeling that this group was the complete opposite of my family.

“Keep her? Padfoot, she insulted me!” James said mockingly offended.

Remus cut the two of them off smoothly. “Where in the States are you from, Sydney?”

I smiled over at him. “Virginia. Just staying here for a bit.”

“It was boy trouble wasn’t it,” James got up close to my face and poked my nose when I turned my head to look at him in confusion. “You look like you’d cause all kinds of boy problems. Is someone stalking you?”

I choked on the toast I had just bit. Coughing, I wiped my mouth off and took a sip of coffee to clear my throat. “James, I’m really not sure how to take that. Did you just imply I’m good looking or-”

“Why else would you be here? Unless you murdered someone. Was it an ex-boyfriend? Abusive boyfriend? Abusive _girl_ friend?” James asked. 

I squinted at him suspiciously. “How many times were you dropped on your head as a child?”

Sirius spat coffee out over the table, laughing so hard he clutched his stomach. James reached around behind me and shoved him off the bench. Sirius just laughed his ass off, his back lying against the stone. He took a breath and wiped a tear from his eye. I looked down at him and shook my head. “You going to make it?”

“Marry me.” Sirius pushed himself up and sat back down next to me, leaning close enough to me that I could feel his breath. “I’m in love.”

“Have I been replaced, Mr. Black?” A wry voice asked above us. Professor McGonagall peered down at the pair of us.

“Never, Minnie. You will always be my girl.” Sirius winked at the professor and threw in a smirk. McGonagall shook her head disapprovingly. Focusing back onto me, she handed over a piece of paper.

“Your schedule, Ms. Rose. The Headmaster seemed confident that you would be able to catch up on the last few weeks of work. I’m sure Mr. Lupin and Ms. Evans can assist as well as inform you of the rules while you’re here. I hope you’re not as...rambunctious as your cousin. Although if Mr. Black is already proposing, I doubt I should hold my breath.” She arched her eyebrow at me.

“Thanks, Professor.” She hmmed and made her way to the front of the Hall. I looked down to inspect my schedule. Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, and...Muggle Studies. Really? Dumbledore must think he was hilarious putting me in Muggle Studies. The schedule had generally two classes in the morning, lunch, then two classes in the afternoon with a few free periods thrown in. God damn, this was going to be _awful._ Six classes and I had no idea what they were about. Confident I could catch up _my ass._

I felt the two boys on either side of me peering over my shoulder. I turned and raised an eyebrow at Sirius who was closer, his face an inch from mine. “Is it really necessary to be _right_ in my face?”

“Might want to get used to seeing my beautiful face, love. _You’ve_ got the same schedule as me.” A shit-eating grin spread across his face.

“Wait, _what?_ ” Disbelief made me look back at the schedule, as if that could change this insane news. I’d have to see his stupid beautiful face _every class?_

“You’ll finally have someone to help you with your Muggle Studies homework, Pads.” Remus teased, Lily nodded her head in agreement.

“I’ll be with you in Care of Magical Creatures, too.” Lily said brightly. “I’ve had to have a threesome with Alice and Marlene for weeks so it’ll be great to have my own partner.”

Sirius snickered beside me before taking a sip of coffee. I rolled my eyes and elbowed him hard in the gut. Coffee sprayed across the table again, Remus and Lily waved their wands to clean up the mess as Sirius hacked out a lung. “What the hell, Syd?”

I raised an eyebrow at him and waited a moment. He rolled his eyes and reached across me to get more coffee, muttering to himself. “Spoilsport.”

James looked at the two of us then shook his head. “Well, you’ll be with us the rest of the time, Syd. Everyone’s got pretty much the same schedule.”

“By the way,” I turned towards my newly minted cousin. “Can you show me around the castle later? I have literally no idea where anything is. Tux is the only reason I even made it to breakfast.”

“Yeah, we can show you. It will probably take the whole afternoon though,” James swallowed a forkful of eggs. “Place is bigger than it looks.”

“Just let us shower first, love. I can smell Prongs from here.” Sirius complained, digging into his own breakfast.

I narrowed my eyes slightly at him. “Don’t call me love. And I didn’t ask you to show me, I asked Jaimy.”

Remus chuckled at me as Sirius’ grin widened. I looked over at Remus with worry. “He’s never going to call you anything else now.”

“Stop calling me Jaimy!” Screeched James.

Lily sighed across the table, shaking her head. “They’re a package deal. Ask one, get four.”

“Four?” I sipped my coffee when a voice pipe up.

“Morn-” Inhaling in surprise, my coffee went down the wrong pipe and I began coughing harshly. “-ing.”

“Serves you right, love. Hey, Worm.” Sirius smiled over at the smaller boy who just appeared out of _nowhere._ “This is Syd, Prong’s cousin.”

“Nice to meet you,” Peter said politely. I nodded in acknowledgement, still trying to clear my throat. Peter Pettigrew. Just _sitting_ there. Anger swept through my body as I looked over at him. _He_ was the reason any of the future even happened. His cowardice. The people sitting around me would be _dead_ or imprisoned soon thanks to him. 

Two more people joined us, startling me out of my thoughts. Lily introduced the newcomers to me: Marlene McKinnon and Alice Fawley. Marlene was taller with platinum blonde hair while Alice was a head shorter than her friend with a brown pixie cut. As the conversation flowed around me, I ate and looked around the Great Hall which had filled up while we talked.

The Gryffindor table was in the center of the room with Hufflepuffs at my back and the Ravenclaws in front of me. Turning my head, I scanned the back table that had some green sweaters scattered throughout it. My eyes landed on a skinny body, black hair touching the pages of a book. _Severus Snape._ Black eyes shot up and met mine. A finger poking my ribs causing me to break eye contact and turn towards Sirius.

“Are you even listening, love?” He looked at me expectantly then turned to see what I had been looking at. Before he could turn all the way, I poked him back and drew his attention towards me.

“Clearly I wasn’t. What did you want?” I asked, trying to ignore the goosebumps that crept up my arm when he called me love. Stupid hormones. 

“Prongs and I are heading up. You coming?”

“Yeah,” I pushed myself up, saying bye to the table, and followed the boys out. Tux shoved himself in between Sirius and I, forcing Sirius to drop the arm he had just draped over my shoulder. I bit my lower lip, holding back a laugh. We made our way back to the common room, the boys pointing out portraits and different hallways.

James danced up the stairs to the Fat Lady ahead of us. “Morning, my Lady. Gnocchi.”

I pursed my lips, trying not to laugh at James’ pronunciation of the food. He had said ‘nooky’ instead of ‘nake’. The Fat Lady looked him up and down. “I’m not sure how that would work, dear, but I always trying anything once.”

Laughter escaped and James and Sirius looked at me as if I’d lost it. The Fat Lady gave me a wink and opened the portrait. I followed James, still giggling. Sirius followed me, bending down a little. “Care to share with the class, love?”

“Nope.” Popping the p. No way was I going to correct James. I had a feeling no one else would either.

“We shouldn’t be long, Syd. Although Sirius has a tendency to wash his hair multiple times.” James walked towards the staircase.

“You’re just jealous because you can never control your hair.” Sirius followed him but stopped and looked back as I walked towards the girls staircase. Tux looked between us, torn on which way to go. “See you in an hour?”

“Sounds good. Tux, come on.” My dog looked at Sirius again as he made his way up and then back at me. I could hear Sirius chuckle as I sighed, watching my dog follow him. I muttered under my breath, “Traitor.”

\---

After touring the castle, which really _had_ taken all afternoon with a pit stop for lunch, the majority of the 7th year Gryffindors were sprawled over the common room couches. I sat between James and Sirius, again, with Remus and Lily in two armchairs across from us and Peter and Marlene on the floor with textbooks scattered across the low table. It was surreal sitting here. This ragtag group of people had just absorbed me into their lives with no second thoughts and it wasn’t really hitting me yet that I was _here._ It felt like a dream.

“11 letter word for responsible overseeing and protection of something worth caring for.” Lily asked the group, pen tapping the side of her newspaper at a loss for the word. Remus looked up from his book for a moment, thinking about it.

“Stewardship.” I blurted before Remus could. He looked over at me with surprise. I shrugged with a smile.

“Watch out, Moons. Looks like Syd is going to replace you as crossword champ.” James teased, tossing another jelly bean at Sirius’ mouth who caught it neatly.

I looked over at my cousin. It had only been a day but my brain had already accepted him as family, it was the craziest thing. “Are you ever going to explain the nicknames or am I just supposed to guess?”

The boys looked at each other, silently communicating. Lily rolled her eyes and Marlene shook her head, glancing over at me. “They won’t tell you. We’ve tried for _years._ ”

“Uh-huh.” Peering around at the boys, they all just acted as though I hadn’t asked and avoided eye contact with me. “I’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

“Sure you will, Syd.” Sirius said placidly. I narrowed my eyes at him and he blew a kiss at me. Idiot.

“Want to bet on it?” I should probably feel guilty that I was about to hustle him. But his face lit up with mischief at my words. Poor, naive Sirius. He was going to be so disappointed when I pretended to figure it out. “5 bucks I’ll figure it out before Christmas.”

James startled next to me at the word ‘bucks’ and looked over at Sirius with wide eyes. Even Remus and Peter were now staring at me. This was too easy. Sirius tried to play it cool but I could see he was a little unnerved by my choice of words. “Bucks?”

“Money. Dollars? Oh, wait, you guys don’t use dollars here,” Feigning ignorance due to my American-ness. “I guess, 5 galleons?”

Relief swept through Sirius’ face and I could hear James let out a sigh. Oh, this was going to be _so_ much fun. Sirius hummed and tapped his chin lightly. My eyes flickered to his lips but I quickly looked back up to his eyes. Unfortunately, a knowing look passed through them. He bit his lower lip in thought before a grin spread across his face. “That’s not very exciting. How about something a little more...interesting?”

I crossed my arms, hoping my worry wasn’t showing. “What did you have in mind?”

“Loser has to streak through the Great Hall,” James coughed loudly next to me. “First day back from break.”

I pretended to contemplate it. I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to pretend to ‘find out’ about their little secret but now I had some incentive to reveal it before Christmas. I held out my hand, waiting for his. “Deal.”

James smacked me on the shoulder with the back of his hand. “You are _not_ streaking through the Great Hall!”

I felt Sirius grasp my hand and shake it, the amusement in his eyes practically sparkled. Cryptically, I said, “We’ll see.”

“If you’re done making deals with the devil, Syd, we should probably all head to bed.” Lily said, standing up and stretching. James watched her avidly as she popped a few kinks out of her neck. Wow and I thought Todd watched Emmy like a hawk, James put him to shame. “I’d like to get some sleep before potions tomorrow.”

We said our goodnights and I followed Lily and Marlene up the stairs, still wired from the past day. My mind was going a million miles an hour. I had _classes_ tomorrow. At _Hogwarts._ How the _hell_ was I going to pull this off? Not to mention, save the wizarding world. I needed a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW is it the 22nd already? I have a paper due tomorrow and instead of writing it I'm writing THIS. Clearly my quarantine brain has its priorities straight. I haven't written in so loooong and it's hard to stop. Also if you didn't read a certain part of this to the tune of Call Me Maybe then I'm not sure if we can be friends.


	4. WildHorse

Monday came faster than I thought it would. It was a struggle to open my eyes but once I did, I wish I hadn’t. Maroon curtains greeted me once again. Still not a dream.

I could hear the others moving around and quickly hopped out of bed to get ready. After throwing on my new uniform and pulling my hair up, I followed the other girls down to the Great Hall. They chatted, catching me up on the professors and how hard they were. I waved them on to breakfast and let Tux out. When I finally joined the girls in the Great Hall, the only seat open was between James and Sirius. I had a feeling that this was going to be my normal spot.

“3 sickles on Easter. He won't last past that." I overheard Sirius bet as I joined them. Remus scribbled down the date and how much he was betting. I looked curiously over at the paper.

"4 sickles he lasts the entire year." Lily put in.

“Ms. Head Girl, placing bets. Minnie would be devastated if she knew.” James joked, grabbing more bacon for his plate.

"No way he’s lasting that long! You bet that every year and never win." Alice groaned.

"This is the year. I can feel it." Lily said smiling back.

“What are you guys doing?” I looked curiously over at the paper.

“Betting on how long Professor Brogan lasts.” Marlene passed me the coffee carafe and I smiled widely at her. “ _None_ of the DADA professors last the year. The job’s cursed.”

I coughed on my mouthful of coffee. They had hit the nail on the head with that one. If only they knew who cursed it, they wouldn’t be joking about it. Lily gave me a strange look. Clearing my throat, I pretended nothing had happened. “Cursed? Really?”

“Yup.” Marlene popped then turned to Remus. "3 sickles and he'll be gone by St. Patrick's Day."

"5 sickles that he'll be gone right before break starts." James said placing the money in front of Remus. Apparently, Remus was the most trustworthy out of the bunch and the most organized, making him the bookie.

"2 sickles that he'll be gone 2 weeks after Easter." Peter squeaked. My grip tightened on my fork when I heard Peter. He was so...completely unremarkable. Seriously. He was one of those people that you wouldn’t think twice about. Except I knew-

"Moony?" Sirius asked with a grin.

"2 sickles that he'll be out a week before exams." Remus replied and scribbled down his own bet.

"No way he'll last that long." James scoffed.

"3 sickles and he'll be in the hospital wing before he’s gone. I give him until May." Alice said with a mischievous grin.

"Just remember, no cheating, Ali. He has to end up in there without your help." Lily said pointedly.

Alice gasped mocking. "Lily! How dare you think so little of me. I would ne-"

"Do you want in, Syd?" Remus glanced at me with a challenging look. I placed my coffee down and tapped the side of the mug.

“Considering I don’t even know who Professor Brogan _is,_ that’s hardly fair, Remus.”

Alice craned her neck towards the professor’s table and pointed. “The dreamboat next to McGonagall.”

I leaned back in my seat to get a better look at the table and saw an _extremely_ good looking guy sitting there. He looked only a few years older than us with light blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. 

“Damn.” I whispered in approval. As if he could hear me, his eyes flickered over towards me and I quickly leaned forward before his gaze could meet mine. “ _Who_ let him be just a professor?”

“I know, right? He looks like he should be a model or actor.” Alice sighed.

“I know one class I’ll be failing this year.” Marlene added with a lovestruck grin. Lily tutted in disapproval while the boys looked confused.

“What about him?” Sirius asked with a pout.

“Yeah, he’s just a bloke.” James added.

I looked at both of them in disbelief and I was about to reply but Marlene beat me to it. “You’re kidding me, right? If I wasn’t jailbait, I’d do him in a heartbeat.”

I laughed at her joke and James turned quickly to me. “He’s too old for you.”

My laughter died and I raised an eyebrow. He had no idea how true _that_ was. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion.”

James narrowed his eyes at me. “He’s a professor, that’s just wrong.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be right.” I joked with a smirk and bit into an apple. James’ eyes narrowed further and he looked back up at the professors’ table then back to me. I sighed. “Jesus, James, I was just kidding. Don’t get your panties in a knot.”

“Panties?” James and Sirius asked simultaneously. 

“Ladies’ undergarments.” Remus replied with a sigh.

“Their knickers!” Sirius exclaimed. I shook my head in embarrassment for him.

“You’re so...” 

“Handsome? Charming? Mesmerizing?” Sirius joked running a hand through his hair, preening himself.

“Immature.” I finished with a smile. 

“So are you in or out, Syd? Because we need to get going or we’ll be late.” Lily stated. Sirius muttered under his breath about ‘Slughorn’s pet’.

“3 sickles he’ll be out of here by Valentine’s Day. And it won’t be with a glowing recommendation.” Before the boys could inquire further, I hopped up and followed Lily and the other girls to grab our bags and so I could drop Tux off at the dorms before Potions. A few feet from the door, I looked over my shoulder to see blue eyes following me. A weird feeling spread through my gut and I couldn’t help the shudder that ran through me as I turned away.

\---

As we strode into Potions, everyone beelined for their seats around the room. Lily and Remus in the front center table, James and Sirius in the second row to the right, Peter next to a Ravenclaw who looked vaguely familair, and Marlene and Alice behind them. . The rest of the tables were filled with paired off blues, yellows, and greens except for one seat next to -

“Ah! Ms. Rose. Excellent.” A jovial voice said behind me. I turned to see a balding, middle aged man come around the large, cluttered desk. “The Headmaster informed me that your schooling in America may be a tad bit behind but that you would be able to catch up quickly.”

“He did?” Fucking shit. If he had at least made it seem like I was semi-incompetent then I probably could’ve gotten away with not knowing anything about potions or any of the other subjects. Telling every single professor that I’d catch up easily put more pressure on me to _actually_ do well. 

“Yes, yes. Very confident about it.” Slughorn gestured towards the back right of the room. “You may take a seat next to Mr. Snape back in the corner. If you have any questions about the potion, Severus is excellent at potions and would be more than capable in answering anything.”

With a skeptical look at the professor, I turned and made my way towards the desk and took my seat. Slughorn jumped right into explaining the potion we would be working on. Veritaserum. Huh. Somehow I don’t think that’s the best potion to teach 7th year students but teaching it to the younger students would probably be a worse idea. Glancing towards my left, I finally had my first close up encounter with Severus Snape. The greasy hair _hadn’t_ been an exaggeration after all. It hung limply around his sharp face as he scribbled in his textbook. Looking over discreetly, I realized it was _the_ potions book, the one with the Sectumempra spell.

Other ingredients and bottles were strewn across the desk. I guess we were actually going to be brewing the Veritaserum today. Well, _that_ was probably not going to go well.

“I’m Sydney.” I held out my hand to quietly introduced myself. He turned his black eyes on me with suspicion. My hand hung awkwardly between us. I raised my eyebrow. “What? Do British wizards not know what handshakes are?”

“You may be new but I doubt you’re that stupid. Gryffindors and Slytherins don’t typically give each other _handshakes._ ” He sneered.

“Bold of you to assume I _care_ what Gryffindors and Slytherins typically do. My arm’s getting tired here, would you just shake it already or is that going to be a _problem?_ ” I challenged. Carefully, he shook my hand once and dropped it as though it burned him. “I -”

“Love, grab your stuff.” Confused, I spun around to see Sirius standing above me. “You can sit with me and James.”

“What are you doing?” Others were starting to turn towards us to see what was happening at our table. Not the way I wanted to start off my Hogwarts career.

Sirius crossed his arms and threw a disgusted look at Severus who watched us curiously. “No one should have to sit with _him._ Now, let’s go.”

“Sirius, sit down.” I hissed.

“Ms. Rose? Mr. Black? Is there a problem?” Slughorn’s voice asked from across the room. 

Sirius turned and started to answer Slughorn, “Yes, Professor -”

“It’s all my fault!” I sprung out of my seat and stood next to Sirius, who looked at me as if I’d grown two heads. “I’m sorry, Professor.”

“Your fault, Ms. Rose?” Slughorn looked at me skeptically.

“I- I was just _so_ excited about potions! Severus and I were talking, right Sev?” I subtly smacked the black haired guy behind me.

He looked between me and Professor Slughorn confused but nodded slowly. “Right.”

“And I just got so excited my -” I scanned our table and snatched my quill up to show it. “quill flew right out my hand. It hit Sirius in the head.”

Slughorn didn’t seem to be buying it. “Across the room?”

“I was really excited,” My hands moving as I talked. “See? My hands just have no control when I’m excited.” Or when I’m talking out of my ass. Jesus I didn’t even know where I was going with this but I couldn’t let Sirius get my seat switched. This was the perfect opportunity to start to gain Severus’ trust.

“And what exactly were you excited about?” Slughorn had moved closer to us, standing in front of Lily and Remus now.

“About - about -” Desperately, I looked at our table again and Severus shoved a stone at me.

“Bezoar.” He muttered.

“Bezoar?” I asked and he nodded. I spun back to face Slughorn and held up the shriveled stone. “Bezoar! Yes, bezoar.”

“I see.” Slughorn looked intrigued now. I don’t even remember this being on our table before but thank _god_ it was something I vaguely recognized.

“I mean they counteract so many poisons. Very important in potions.” I gestured at the idiot next to me. “And Sirius overheard our conversation when he was returning my quill and couldn’t help joining in.”

“I couldn’t?” I stepped hard on Sirius’ toes and he groaned quietly. “No, I couldn’t. _So_ exciting.”

“I’m surprised, Sirius. You don’t typically have any interest in potions.” Slughorn peered at him suspiciously. “May I ask what exactly you lot were discussing using the bezoar for?”

“Uh-” Sirius glanced at me. 

“Love potions!” I blurted. I had to stop from facepalming myself. This was ridiculous.

“Love potions?” The professor’s attention turning back towards me.

“Yes! What if some poor desperate girl slipped Sirius a love potion? Oh, that would awful, Professor. Forcing someone to love another? No free will, just terrible.” I was rambling at this point. _What_ was even coming out of my mouth? Free will? Fortunately, Slughorn looked intrigued by my point. “But the bezoar could counteract that. We were just discussing the merits of knowing the uses of bezoar and how after we graduate, we should be able to protect ourselves.” Slughorn was silent for a moment and I _prayed_ my bullshitting skills would work. 

“Right you are, Ms. Rose.” The tension physically drained from me as he continued. “Mr. Black, you’ll want to keep this young lady close. She could save your life one day.”

“I bet.” Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes at me.

I turned away from him and looked at Professor Slughorn, mustering my most innocent and contrite look. “But I’m sorry, Professor, for disrupting class. It’s only my first day and I’ve already caused a commotion. If you have to take points or give someone a detention, please just give it to me.”

“Nonsense!” Slughorn looked appalled at my suggestion. “Clearly you were discussing important potions related topics. But as we are in the middle of learning another potion, we do need to finish that before discussing others. Perhaps next class we can further discuss the uses for bezoar? I believe I can fit that into our curriculum.”

“Oh, that would be _fantastic,_ Professor.” I said, my voice dripping with gratitude. “We’ll get back to finishing our notes.”

Slughorn was already at his desk, muttering to himself about bezoar and looking through papers. I rounded on Sirius and smacked his shoulder.

“What the hell was that?” Sirius hissed at me.

“Saving your stupid ass. Or did you want detention?” He huffed at me and I glared. “Now, get back to your seat before I shove this bezoar so far up your ass, you’ll be in the hospital wing for a week.”

“Kinky.” It was like he couldn’t even help himself. I shoved him back towards James but he turned and pointed at Severus, whispering threateningly. “This isn’t over, Snivellus.”

I shook my head and took my seat as Sirius finally walked back towards his. I can’t believe I just did that. I can’t believe it _worked._ A snort next to me drew my attention. Severus Snape was _laughing._ I shoved him lightly on the shoulder. “Get back to your scribbling.”

“I don’t know, I don’t want you getting too _excited_ over it.” Another snort escaped.

I sighed but couldn’t help grinning. “Shut up.”

\---

I managed to get through Potions unscathed. Copying Severus seemed to be the best way to pretend to know what I was doing. A few sideways glances had hinted that he knew what I was doing but didn’t say a word. Essentially, I wasn’t struggling too much with the actual potion making. I just had trouble figuring out the ingredients. Eye of newt? _Seriously?_ The actual potion making part was like following a cooking recipe which I had experience with. I’m not a chef but I can follow a recipe if needed. The kitchen was my mom’s territory so my sisters and I tended to stay out unless she and my dad were gone for the weekend and we had to fend for ourselves. Severus and I packed up silently and he slipped out before I could say a word. Sighing, I felt someone join me.

“You want to explain your _excitement_ earlier, love?” I turned to see Sirius with his arms folded over his chest.

“You want to explain why you came over here in the first place?” I crossed my arms, tilting my hip, and stared back at him.

“Snivellus -”

“Severus.” He stopped mid sentence with a wide-eyed look, his hand halfway through his hair in agitation. “His name is Severus and you coming over here like it was a big deal I was sitting with him was uncalled for.”

“Syd, you don’t know him like we do. He’s slimy, devious, -” Sirius followed me as I made my way out of the room. 

“He was perfectly civil to me.” I shot back, making my way over to where the others had clustered in the hallway. An arm settled on my shoulders and I turned my head to see James next to me. “What’s up, Jaimy?”

“Trying to see if you lost your marbles,” He ruffled my hair and I shoved him away. He laughed and continued down the hall with me.

“Not you, too.”

“Sirius is right, Syd. Sniv -” I glared at him and he coughed before correcting himself. “Snape is bad news.”

“I’m a big girl, Jaimy. If I have a problem with him, I’ll deal with it.” Remus and Lily glanced back at us as they walked us towards Charms, Peter ambling along beside them. Alice and Marlene were between us and seemed to be in their own world. “Besides, what did this kid ever do to you two? Have an affair with Remus behind your back?” 

They both stopped in the middle of the hallway and I turned around to see them gagging. James choked out, “I think I just died inside a little.”

“How dare you even _suggest_ that? I’m so sick, I may need to be put down.” Sirius claimed. James snickered at his comment and I rolled my eyes.

“Seriously. What happened? He’s just my potions partner, it’s not the end of the world.” I put my hand on my hip and waited as they glanced at each other. Sirius opened his mouth first.

“How about the fact that he exists?”

“Mature. Now give me a real reason.” I demanded. I started walking away again and didn’t look back to see if they followed. A second later, I heard their footsteps and James’ answer.

“He insulted Lily. End of story.”

“Fair enough.” I said with raised eyebrows. “But he’s my potions partner so deal with it. It’s not like I’m marrying him so back off.”

“Fine.” They grumbled as we caught up with the other at the Charms room. Taking their seats, I found an empty one next to Remus and grabbed it quickly.

He smiled over at me. “Don’t be too hard on them. They think they’re helping.”

I raised both eyebrows at him. “Maybe they should trust me to take care of myself.”

“Good luck with that.” The corner of his mouth tilted up in amusement and he began writing down Flitwick’s lecture. Frowning, I tried to tune into the lesson but couldn’t help thinking about Severus. He was an essential part to the events that would happen. If I could convince him to help me without telling him _why_ I needed his help then maybe I could be that much closer to finding a way to save everyone. The tension between him and Sirius though was an issue. Maybe there a was a way to at least get them to be civil towards each other, not best friends but allies. The real question was _how._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had way to much fun writing this. Annnnd writing some future parts of this. Ugh literally way too excited about some chapters for this. Thoughts, feelings, concerns always welcome. Hope everyone is staying sane and healthy right now.


	5. Fuck You

The rest of the day passed in a blur of classes with lunch and dinner mixed in. We had just climbed through the portrait after finishing dinner and I flopped down on the couch face first and groaned. That was the _longest_ school day of my life. Tux put his nose into the dip of shoulder, trying to get my attention. A clicking sound had Tux turning his attention elsewhere. Turning my body over so I was now laying on my back, I saw Tux trotting over towards Sirius who leaned against the arm of the couch next to my feet. Sirius pet the little traitor, sending his tail into circles. Peter and Marlene claimed seats around the area and pulled out their homework.

Lily, James, and Remus had a Prefect meeting and wouldn’t be back for a few hours and Alice was out romancing Frank Longbottom. I don’t know how these people did it. We had to write 12 inches of parchment - which by the way, still doesn’t make any sense to me - on the Veritaserum potion, practice Meteolojinx Recanto which would cause jinx-related weather to stop, and a 9 inch parchment on the current Muggle fashion style. My brain was officially fried. I felt my legs being lifted and opened my eyes to see Sirius sitting then placing them in his lap. A moment later, my eyes fluttered shut again. 

I must have fallen asleep because when I blinked open my eyes, the common room had mostly cleared out except for our pocket of the room. Sirius had his potions book propped open and looked as if he was actually reading, Tux curled up on top of his feet. I nudged the book with my toe, trying to get his attention. He looked over at me with a smirk. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Did you need something?”

Rubbing away the sleepies, I frowned slightly. “You know who is Sleeping Beauty is?”

He smirked cockily. “Muggle Studies second year. We did all the muggle fairy tales. After writing more inches of parchment on sleeping princesses than I will ever care to admit, yes, I know who Sleeping Beauty is.”

“Is there always this much homework?” I tried not to whine but I could hear it lacing my voice.

“Yes, love.” Sirius chuckled quietly. “And you should probably get started before it piles up instead of sleeping away.”

My eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. “You didn’t strike me as the studious type. I figured that was all Remus and Lily.”

“Now, I’m offended.” He closed the book and balanced it on the couch arm. “I’m not just devilishly good-looking, I have some of the highest marks in our year.”

“It’s true,” Peter added. I glanced over at him to see him watching us. Creepy. “Remus, Lily, and Xeno are the only ones above him.”

Confused, I asked, “Xeno?”

“He’s a Ravenclaw. You’ll meet him in Care of Magical Creatures Wednesday.” Marlene answered as she continued to scribble on her parchment.

Sirius tapped my foot. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Come on, we can practice Meteolojinx Recanto. I’ll jinx it and you try to get rid of it.”

Rolling my eyes, I pushed myself up so my back leaned against the couch arm. “I -”

Rain began falling on my head and I gasped loudly at the coldness of it. “Sirius!”

He cackled next to me, staying on his side of the couch which was nice and dry. Wiping water off my face, I pulled out my wand and pointed it at the cloud above me. With a slight hook movement, I said the incantation.

Rain continued to fall on me. Sirius was laughing hysterically while the others took a break from their work to watch me struggle. Wiping the water away again, I tried to cast it once more but nothing happened. “Did you really have to do this?”

“Practice makes perfect, love.” He said with a grin, water now streaming towards his side of the couch. I sighed in frustration, trying once more.

Nothing.

Glaring up at the cloud in the common room, I didn’t realize Sirius had moved closer to me until his hand wrapped around mine. A buzzing sensation ran up my arm from the contact. He smiled gently when I caught his eye. “Less of a hook motion.”

Raising my wand towards the cloud, he guided my arm in the proper motion as I clearly said, “ _Meteolojinx Recanto_.”

A reddish tint spiraled out of my wand into the cloud causing it disappear in seconds. A wide smile spread across my face, I turned to thank Sirius when I realized how close he was. I could feel his breath, we were so close. Gray eyes watched mine carefully. Opening my mouth to try and thank him again, I was cut off by the portrait banging open. 

Everyone turned to see Lily, Remus, and James climbing through. Scooting slightly farther away from Sirius, I lowered our hands to my lap, his hand still wrapped around mine.

“Thank you.” Words. Finally. I guess I do remember how to speak. “Maybe next time, you could warn me?”

Sirius shook his head like - well, like a dog, water flinging everywhere. “Love, where’s the fun in that?”

“What in Merlin’s beard happened?” Lily gasped, looking at the two of us soaking wet. Remus and James looked confused behind her.

“Sirius was trying to teach me charms. I’m not sure his teaching methods are that effective though.” I looked wryly at the soggy boy. His shoulder length hair dripping as he grinned back innocently. Sighing, Lily waved her wand and the air around us began to steam dry. Thank God my hair was already up or it would have turned into an afro at this point. Jealously, I watched Sirius’ hair return to its normal silky self. Damn him and his gorgeous hair. “Thanks, Lily.”

“You’re welcome, Syd.” She smiled warmly at me then turned towards Sirius, raised her eyebrow and placed a hand on her hip, waiting.

“Uh, thank you Lilikins for not murdering me for making a mess even though Syd _did_ actually learn how to cast the -” Lily’s glared intensified. “I’m going to shut up now.”

Rolling off the couch, I stood and stretched. “And _I’m_ going to bed. Goodnight, everyone.”

The others chorused their goodnights and began packing up their belongings, taking my exit as a cue to head to bed themselves. I really would need to get to work on my homework though. Well, hey, at least I managed one thing on my to do list.

\---

I didn’t sleep last night. Not a wink. I spent the _entire_ night staring at my canopy trying to fall asleep but my mind had gone a mile a minute. It was ridiculous. Now I’m exhausted. And about to kill Sirius.

"How's your muffin?" Sirius calmly ate his eggs, watching me. James sat next to him, chatting to a sixth year. Somehow I had managed to sit on the other side of the table and not between the two boys as I’d done for every other meal.

I narrowed my eyes across the table and took a bite of said muffin. "Good."

"What kind is it?"

"Chocolate." Taking another bite, he grinned widely at my answer. I was starting to dread that grin.

"Just chocolate?" I looked up at him and raised my eyebrow.

Closing my mouth as I was about to take another bite, I watched him carefully. "What did you do to it? Did you lick it?"

"Like a lollipop." Sirius replied with an evil grin. I glared and threw the muffin at his face, he ducked and it hit Remus who was passing behind Sirius to sit on his other side. "Oi! That was a perfectly good muffin!"

"Asshole. It _was_ a perfectly good muffin before you licked it." I shot, crossing my arms. "Did you lick anything else on this table?"

"Maybe." He said with a stupid grin, shoving more eggs into his mouth.

“How do you get through a whole meal with him?” I turned to Remus, looking for help. 

“Ignore him and just eat.” Remus said shrugging and took out a book. Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus as Marlene, Lily, Peter, and Alice joined us.

“Excited for DA? I know I am.” Alice sang as she sat next to me.

“You know it.” I said with a big grin as James scowled across the table. I threw a wink at him and he scowled harder. It was just too easy to rile him up. And _so_ much fun.

\-------

“Minnie! My love!” Sirius declared as we walked into the Transfiguration classroom. McGonagall, writing on the chalkboard at the front of the room, didn’t even flinch at Sirius’ declaration.

“5 points from Gryffindor, Mr. Black. Now sit down before I give you a detention.” She said sternly, her back still turned.

“Would the detention be with you, darling Minnie?” Sirius asked cheekily as he sat down front and center.

“No, it would be with Mr. Filch. Now, sit down. I will not ask again.” McGonagall instructed, finally turning around to give him a pointed look. James flopped into the seat next to Sirius, Peter and Remus right behind them, Marlene and Alice to their left, and Lily sat alone at the front left desk. This was the first class I had so far that I had a chance to sit next to Lily. I grabbed it quickly, hoping no one else was supposed to be sitting in it.

Leaning over, I whispered so I wouldn’t attract McGonagall’s attention. “Ok, seriously though. What’s up with that?”

“He’s been doing this since Third Year when he _actually_ had a crush on her. James bet him that Professor McGonagall would never date him and Sirius has been trying to win her over ever since. I hope it doesn’t get out of hand this year.” She whispered.

“I do.” Marlene interjected behind us. “It’s his last year to win the bet and it would be the _best_ win ever.”

“No worries, Mar. Minnie will be mine by graduation.” Sirius said with a smirk and leaned back in his chair. I rolled my eyes and turned to focus on Professor McGonagall as she began the lesson on the Principle of Artificianimate Quasi-Dominance. 

By the end of the double period, my hand was cramped from all the notes I had written. I understood _none_ of it. Except, of course, that by not conjuring correctly, I could sever a head or mutate frog-rabbits. Neither sounded good.

“For homework, I want an 18 inch parchment on the importance of the Principle of Artificianimate Quasi-Dominance on my desk next week.” Groans echoed through the room as we packed up to head to lunch. My to do list was really starting to get long. 

As we headed out the door, I ended up next to Sirius and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Does the love of your life always give that much homework?”

“Always,” He sighed as if he was lovesick. “Minnie knows the way to my heart is through long assignments that have me thinking of her while I write about mutating fish and cats together.”

“Ah, mutations. Sirius Black’s biggest turn on. Somebody alert the Prophet.” I joked, following Sirius towards the Great Hall.

“Now, love, don’t go spilling my secrets.” As we walked together, our arms brushed each other and when we passed a Hufflepuff girl, she threw me a glare. Confused, I looked over at Sirius who didn’t notice as we made it to lunch. “I need to maintain an air of mystery.”

“Sure you do,” I rolled my eyes and took my seat next to James. Lunch consisted of salad, shepard’s pie, chicken sandwiches, and haggis. Basically the same spread as yesterday. I stuck to the chicken sandwich and some salad, staying _far_ away from that haggis. No offense to Scotland but I just - nope, not happening. Everyone chatted as I quietly ate my food, watching them.

And my mind went to a dark place unintentionally. In just 3 short years, these people around me would be missing, insane, or dead. Remus would be alone. Peter would be presumed dead. And Sirius...

Looking over at the animated gray eyed boy, I couldn’t even connect the two people as being the same person. The one sitting next to me was energetic, loud, his dark hair curling slightly and just touching his shoulders. The dog collar was around his neck again and I saw the glint of an earring as he threw back his head, laughing at something Peter had said. Trying to even picture the man who had been in Azkaban for 12 years, the man wrongful convicted of murder and betrayal, the man who fell -

But he _wasn’t_ that person yet. And if I could help it, he never would be. Realizing I was staring, I abruptly turned and found chocolate eyes watching me. A blush rushed to my cheeks at being caught by Remus. He winked and continued eating his haggis, listening to Lily talk about their transfiguration lesson.

Glancing at the watch on my wrist, I quickly ate the rest of my sandwich. Lunch ended at 1pm and I only had about 5 minutes left. The others were packing up, getting ready for our afternoon class. Defense Against the Dark Arts. I nudged Sirius softly in the ribs. He cut himself off mid-conversation with Peter to turn towards me.

“So, Mystery Man, can you lead me to Defense Against the Dark Arts or is that supposed to be a mystery too?” I grabbed my bag and slipped the strap over my left shoulder, swinging my leg over the bench.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me with a smirk. “It’s Sir Mystery Man to you, love.”

“If you two are done flirting, I’d like to get to class on time.” James said above us. I looked up to see to the curly haired boy looking between us expectantly.

“Aye aye, Mr. Head Boy.” Sirius mockingly saluted his best friend, standing up to join the group. Trying not to blush too much, I followed along, slipping through to walk next to Lily.

Had I been flirting? Thinking back on my few conversations with Sirius the past few days, I knew there had been a few moments where there was _something_ but...I didn’t flirt. I was _terrible_ at it. And also terrible at knowing when someone was flirting with _me._ One time, a guy had hit on me at the store with Emmy. Me, oblivious girl I am, thought he wanted to know about the best diner in town and how to get there. Emmy almost peed herself laughing at me when she revealed he was asking me out.

Fuck. Maybe I _had_ been flirting with Sirius Black. What the _hell_ was wrong with me?

Regardless of the age difference in my own time, there was the whole _being from different planes of existence_. And that he might not even be real.

There was still the possibility I was in a coma.

Although, if that was the case...why _not_ flirt my ass off with Sirius Black? If I was just going to wake up and it had all been a dream then no harm, no foul.

My brain was starting to hurt.

Luckily, we arrived at DADA before I had a meltdown. Everyone took their seats and James waved me over to the empty one next to him. Sirius sat with Peter and Remus across the aisle from us and the girls sat in front of James and I. As I sat down, Professor Brogan strolled past me. The class fell silent as he walked to the front and turned towards us. A cold feeling spread out from the middle of my stomach as blue eyes looked straight at me. Goosebumps sprang up along my arm so I tugged my sweater sleeves down, trying to get warmer. 

After a minute of observing me, his eyes roamed over the classroom. Weird. I had never felt anything like that before. Maybe it was just a draft.

“Today, we will be discussing and observing the Unforgivable Curses.” Professor Brogan leaned against his desk, hands on the edge of it. “Now, who can tell me _what_ constitutes an Unforgivable Curse?”

Hands shot into the air, I wasn’t sure if Lily or Alice was first but over half the class had their hands raised. I had thought this lesson was for fourth years, at least in the books it had been. No one seemed as if they had already learned about these curses so maybe it was a Moody thing. Or well, fake-Moody thing. Either way, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to enjoy this lesson.

“Lily,” Professor Brogan smiled in her direction.

Primly, Lily answered. “Unforgivable Curses are classified as such due to their morally wrong nature. The Ministry of Magic declared that any use of the Curses on another human would result in the caster being sent to Azkaban for life unless there is proof the caster did so under the Imperius Curse.”

“Thank you, Lily. And you answered my next question.” He grinned at her with amusement. Walking towards the blackboard to the side of his desk, he wrote _Unforgivable Curses._ “Now, who can tell me how many Unforgivable Curses there are? James?”

“Three, sir.” I glanced at James. James who would be killed by one of those curses. I began to break out in a cold sweat thinking about the curses and what it meant for the students in this room.

“Yes, excellent. And can anyone name one of them?” The professor looked around and pointed. “Mr. LeStrange?”

I turned to see a dark haired Slytherin in the back corner. Large muscles bulged from his sweater. I was surprised Bellatrix’s future husband wasn’t as ugly as I’d pictured. Average but not butt ugly. He sat next to Severus who I hadn’t noticed earlier. Severus raised an eyebrow in my direction and I turned my attention back to Rodolphus who answered Professor Brogan. “The Imperius Curse.”

“Very good, the Imperius Curse. Used to control the actions of the castee.” Professor Brogan leaned under the table and placed a small orange tabby in the center of his desk. He wouldn’t - “A demonstration.”

Flicking his wand at the tiny kitten, he cast, “ _Imperio._ ”

I was going to throw up. Professor Brogan had the kitten stand on its back legs and can-can. The girls giggled as the boys clapped along. Only Sirius, Remus, and I didn’t join in. “Adorable, right? What next? Jump from the balcony?”

With a flick, the kitten was now suspended on the balcony railing. Not a whisper of sound could be heard in the room as we watched the tiny animal. Brogan gave us with a pointed look. “No? Maybe we could have her walk into the lake until she couldn’t breath anymore?”

Pale faces looked between the kitten and the teacher. Slowly, Brogan lowered her to the desk. The kitten meowed pitifully, curling up on herself. “The good news about the Imperious Curse is that if you are strong minded, you _can_ overcome it. If not, well, say goodbye to free will.”

Looking around the silent room, he crossed his arms and leaned against the desk next to the kitten. “The next curse?” No one moved. “Come now, I am fully confident that someone knows the answer. Alice?”

“The, uh, the Cruciatus Curse.” She said quietly. _Now_ I was going to throw up. Anyone else could’ve answered that, why did he have to pick _Alice?_ A movement caught my eye and I glanced over to see Sirius’ fist clench tightly. My eyes flickered towards his face, his jaw tense and clenched. The mention of the Cruciatus Curse seemed to upset him and I couldn’t help but wonder if the rumors of the Black family were as bad as I remembered from the books. It was never explicitly written in them but Sirius had run away from home for a reason -

“Good, Ms. Fawley.” Brogan had written the curse on the board then turned back to us expectantly. “Now, the Cruciatus Curse is also known as the Torture Curse. It causes excruciating pain on it’s victim. Observe. _Crucio.”_

Gasps could be heard under the screeching coming from the tiny body on the desk. Sirius’ face had drained of color and others were not far behind him. Professor Brogan’s attention was focused on the small writhing body at the end of his wand. I slammed my hand on the desk as hard as I could, unable to let this happen. “ _STOP IT._ ”

Abruptly, Professor Brogan’s attention snapped to me standing up in the middle of the classroom. The kitten’s cries grew smaller but it didn’t stop crying. “Ms. Rose, there is no need to yell.”

“No need? You were torturing a _kitten_.” I spat at him, my hands shaking in rage. He observed me coldly.

“I was _demonstrating_ the Cruciatus Curse. These curses are part of our curriculum -”

“To _talk_ about. To _read_ about. There’s absolutely no reason to _demonstrate_ them on an innocent animal.” I stomped towards the desk as I talked, steam practically coming out of my ears. “We are all capable of understanding what these curses _are_.”

“Are you?” Brogan leaned down eye level with me. “Then tell me, Ms. Rose, the last curse.”

“No.” I growled, standing about a foot away from his desk. Tiny brown eyes blinked at me.

“The last unforgivable curse, Ms. Rose. _Now_.” Professor Brogan stared me down as if it would intimidate me.

“Go fuck yourself.” I spat back. Several gasps rang out at my language.

With a raised eyebrow, Professor Brogan leaned back and pursed his lips. “Very well, _Avada Ke-”_

My hand shot out as fast as I possibly could.

“ _davra_.” Green light shot at Brogan’s desk, burning a hole where the kitten used to be. It took a moment for him to realize there was no dead kitten there and he turned almost purple in rage. “Ms. Rose! Do you have _any_ idea what could have happened to you?”

Curling my hand tighter around the kitten pressed to my chest, I glared at the professor. I took a step back and watched him carefully. He stabbed his wand in my direction, his anger rolling off of him. “Put that animal down immediately.”

“No.”

“Detention, Ms. Rose. Put the animal down or it’ll be two.” I stood where I was, refusing to move. “Two detentions, Ms. Rose. I will not ask again.”

“Good, because I’d give you the same answer and it would be a waste of time. _No._ ” A mewl could be heard from my palm but I couldn’t look at the tiny thing in my hand. There was still a wand pointed at me and I wasn’t sure what would happen next.

“Two weeks detention and no Hogsmeade trip next month, Ms. Rose.” The blonde teacher bargained. “If that animal is not on my desk in one minute, it’ll be a month’s worth of detentions and no Hogsmeade trips all year.”

“You say that like I _care_. No Hogsmeade trip is worth letting you _kill_ an innocent animal.” The rage in his eyes was _terrifying_. I knew at this point it was more about my defiance than the lesson. There was no way he was going to kill the kitten but he wasn’t about to let me highjack his lesson and make him look like an idiot. Regardless, I was this far in, I might as well see how far I could dig this hole. “Go. _Fuck._ Yourself, Professor.”

“OUT! Go to the Headmaster!” He yelled, throwing his hands up. I gulped, stepping back into the aisle. “ _Now,_ Rose!”

Without a glance back, I snatched my bag and raced from the room. Once in the hallway, I shakily looked down at the tiny ball of fur. The tabby clung to my sweater and watched me with wide eyes. _Shit._ I would be lucky if I wasn’t kicked out of DADA. Not that I wanted to go back to _that_. How could Dumbledore allow that to happen in a class?

Speaking of Dumbledore, I had no clue how to get to his office. But I did know how to get back to Transfiguration. Silently, I walked towards the classroom I had been in earlier today.

Glancing into the room, I saw Professor McGonagall bent over a parchment on her desk. I knocked on the wooden door, hoping not to scare her. Frowning, Professor McGonagall looked up at me from her work. “Ms. Rose, can I help you?”

“I, uh, need to see Professor Dumbledore but I don’t know how to get to his office.” McGonagall took off her glasses and stood.

“And why, Ms. Rose, do you need to see the Headmaster?” I could _hear_ the resignation in her voice. Maybe she really had been hoping I wouldn’t be as much trouble as James and Sirius. It seemed a shame to kill her dreams so soon.

“Professor Brogan kicked me out of class.” I shrugged, still clutching my hand to my chest.

“Kicked you - Ms. Rose, it’s only your second day.” Shaking her head, she began walking towards me. “How could -”

She stopped and looked at my hand with suspicion. “What is in your hand?”

Unfolding my hand, I held out the tabby who meowed at the professor. “Professor Brogan and I disagreed on his teaching methods.”

Taking the kitten gently out of my hand, Professor McGonagall pet the cat and held it against her chest where it purred contently. “Explain.”

“We were learning Unforgivable Curses.” I rubbed my arm uncomfortably. “I may or may not have told him to fuck himself when he tried to _demonstrate_ the Killing Curse. I’ve got detention for a month and no Hogsmeade trips all year.”

McGonagall had stopped petting the kitten at the words Killing Curse and stared at me with a mix of horror and disgust. Dangerously, she asked, “Did he now?”

I nodded, unsure what else to say. She looked at me then down at the kitten then back to me. Handing the kitten back, she nodded decisively. “There is no need to see the Headmaster, Ms. Rose. And I will speak to Professor Brogan about his -” She paused with disgust on her face. “ _teaching_ methods.”

“Thank you, Professor.”

“You’ll be permitted to go on _all_ the Hogsmeade’s trips,” She held up a hand to stop me from thanking her again. “But Ms. Rose, you _will_ need to serve a few detentions. That type of language is unacceptable towards a professor.”

“Yes, Professor.” I nodded gratefully. Taking that as a dismissal, I thanked her again and began to walk out. I wasn’t about to push my extremely good luck right now. Her voice stopped me at the door though.

“And Ms. Rose?” I turned back to looked at her. “Ten points to Gryffindor.”


	6. Gorgeous

Currently, I was lying in bed and just petting Butter who was curled on my chest. Her official name was Butterbeer. It was suggested surprisingly by Lily and we unanimous agreed on the name of our now 7th year dorm cat. 

Yesterday, the gang came bursting into the common room in awe of my standoff with Professor Brogan. A few minutes after I had left, he had tried to salvage the lesson. James and Sirius had yelled at him, trying to defend my honor but ending up getting two detentions each. The Slytherins had said some unpleasant things about Butter and me that sent Sirius in a frenzy and he ended up knocking Rodolphus out. From there, the entire room fell into chaos and Brogan gave up, kicking everyone out. 

I heard Alice stirring next to me. Sighing, I placed Butter on the bed and swung myself into a vertical position. We had a free period this morning but I didn’t want to miss breakfast. Or coffee. Never miss the coffee. I quickly showered, brushed my teeth, and dressed for the day. Skirt, button-down, sweater, hair up. Marlene stumbled into the bathroom and gave me a tired smile before stepping into the shower.

It was strange how _easily_ I had fallen into a routine here. In a way, I think my brain was trying to cope with the shock of being in a place it wasn’t supposed to be in. In the back of my mind, I was slightly worried about when the breaking point would come. Because sooner or later, my brain was going to just shatter.

Butter had moved onto Alice’s bed, curling up in the warm spot she’d left behind while Tux waited patiently by the door for me. We walked down the staircase and at the bottom, I almost bumped into Remus. Stumbling, he quickly caught me by the arm to steady me.

“Careful, Syd.” I looked up at the tall boy with a smile.

“Thanks. I swear I was never this clumsy until I came here.” He chuckled at my claim. “It’s true!”

“Somehow I don’t believe you.” I sighed, defeated. It was true. I was pretty coordinated a normal day. Then again I hadn’t had a normal day in days. We made our way to breakfast, talking about yesterday’s antics and if Brogan would hold a grudge for long. James and Sirius were already seated when we entered the Great Hall just like the rest of the week. Remus sat on the other side of the table while I took my spot in between the boys. Pouring myself a mug of coffee, I looked curiously at James. “How come the two of you are always the first ones here?”

“Quidditch.” Sirius answered around a mouthful of sausage. I had to force my brain not to make any jokes about mouths full of sausage.

“We run every morning then practice for half an hour. Hufflepuff gets the field after us and the other houses practice in the evenings.” James explained, pouring himself a mug of tea.

“James thought it would be a good idea for our team to have the first practice of the day.” Sirius grumbled next to me. I bit my lip to keep from laughing at his apparent disdain for morning practice.

I took a deep sip of coffee before answering. “I’m glad I’m not on the Quidditch team. Mornings don’t agree with me.”

“Do you play, Syd? We could always kick someone off for you -” James perked up at the thought of me playing on the team. Regardless of the fact I’ve never _touched_ a broom, there was no way in _hell_ I was getting up at the ass crack of dawn to go running. I quickly burst his bubble.

“Nope. Never played.” Remus shook his head with a small smile. That didn’t seem good. Cautiously, I looked at James who had his mouth gaping open. Turning, I found Sirius with the same look. “What?”

“Never,” Sirius breathed in disbelief.

“Played?” Horror in James’ voice.

“Nooooo,” Warily, I put my mug of coffee down, lifted my leg to slide it underneath me and tried to subtly get up. It didn’t work. James lunged, wrapping his arms around me, caging me against his chest. Tux barked at my captor. “James! It’s just a stupid sport. Get off!”

Trying to pull his arms off, he pulled me tighter against him. God damn him, how was he so _strong_? He grabbed my wrists in one large hand, pinning them to my chest with his other arm around my torso. I tried to kick him in the shin but moved his legs to wrap them inside mine, essentially spider monkey-ing my body. “Do you hear this blasphemy, Padfoot?”

“I do, Prongs.” Sirius nodded solemnly, a grave look on his face. “I believe our dear Sydney needs to play this -” He shuddered dramatically. “ _stupid sport_ to truly understand the error of her ways.”

“Hell -” I started but James cut me off loudly.

“I agree, Pads. She clearly doesn’t see the beauty of Quidditch.” I saw Sirius’ grin widen at the face James was making. Fuck me. “Grab her feet.”

“Wha -” I yelped at two large palms wrapped around my ankles, hauling them into the air. James held my upper body against his as Sirius tucked both of my legs under his arm. “Put me down! We have class!”

“Class isn’t for two hours, Syd.” Remus put in unhelpfully. I stared at him with my mouth gaping. _Traitor._ “You have plenty of time.”

“To the pitch!” James yelled with enthusiasm, following Sirius. Tux hopped up and tagged along, weaving around us with Remus behind him. Alice and Marlene were waltzing in as my kidnappers dragged me away. They stared in surprise and amusement as we passed.

“Help!” I screamed, trying to get my feet loose. They giggled and fell in line behind us with Remus. “Are you guys serious?”

“No, that’s me.” I’m going to give you one guess which idiot said that. I pushed my heel into his armpit but he just pinned my ankles tighter to his body.

“Put me down!” We made it onto the pitch and I was unceremoniously dumped onto the dewy grass. With a grunt, I stood up and brushed my skirt straight then glared at them. “That was completely unnecessary. I am _not_ playing Quidditch right now -”

Sirius caught me around the waist as I tried to stomp away. He moved me back a few feet with little effort. “Now, love, you just committed a serious offense.”

“I -”

“Very serious, dear cousin.” James crossed his arms, trying to look intimidating. “We will not stand for it. Pads, grab your broom so Syd can borrow it.”

Sirius nodded and went towards what I assumed was the locker room.

“Wait!” Sirius turned back towards us at my outburst. I looked between them and the others watching us. I was going to be outed by a fucking _broom._ I knew everyone had had flying lessons their first year so even if they weren’t good at it, they were all capable of flying. I _wasn’t_ and it was going to be obvious once they brought that broom out. I didn’t think this was even going to be an issue. Then again, I hadn’t expected to be _kidnapped_ and forced to fly. Sighing, I crossed my arms in fake embarrassment and mumbled looking at the ground.

James put a hand to his ear dramatically. “What was that, Syd?”

“I can’t fly, ok?” The blush flooding my cheeks was not intentional but the result of every single one of them looking at me as if I had just said I didn’t know how to tie my shoe. “You don’t need to grab your broom, Sirius. I wouldn’t be able to fly it anyway.”

“You - you -” James looked _floored_ by this news. Sirius looked around awkwardly as the girls and Remus waited for James’ words to come out.

“It’s not a big deal, I just never learned. Can we go back in, now?” James continued to stare at me so I rolled my eyes and brushed past him, heading back towards the castle. Tux caught up with me quickly, my legs moving determinedly across the grass. I could see Lily making her way towards us, probably curious where everyone had disappeared to.

A hand caught my upper arm and I spun around, almost knocking Sirius down in my abrupt movement. Concern written all over his face, he kept his hand wrapped loosely around my arm. “I’m sorry, Syd. We were just kidding, we weren’t -”

“Thank you for the apology, Sirius.” The poor boy looked so _worried_. Tux sat between us, looking back and forth as we talked. “But it really wasn’t a big deal. I don’t understand why you all thought it was. My family isn’t that big on flying. We dri-Floo everywhere.”

Crap, crap, crap. Wizarding world. I’m supposed to be a wizard. Wizards don’t drive. Dumbledore and I never discussed what I was pretending to be. Was I supposed to be half-blood or pureblood? And no one had asked about my family yet. Maybe they were just being polite but if they asked...shit, I didn’t have an answer. I needed to see Dumbledore as soon as I could to work out why I was even _here._ Future Me had a story but Present Me had _no idea_ what it -

“Did you want to learn?” He asked, watching me cautiously.

I looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Do you want to learn to fly? I could teach you over the weekend,” Sirius awkwardly let go of my arm to run a hand through his hair. My arm felt colder without his hand there even though he hadn’t even _touched_ my skin, just my sweater. I really was loosing it. “After practice? We could borrow James’ broom, he normally does Head Boy things after practice with Lily.”

Sirius Black. Offering to teach me to _fly_. What the _hell_ was my life? Completely dumbfounded, I tried not to sound like a totally lunatic. “Yeah, that - that would be great.”

A pure, unadulterated grin lit his face up. Jesus Christ, he should _not_ be allowed to do that. “Yeah? We should -”

“JAMES POTTER!” Lily had finally reached us and looked _livid_. “I just heard from almost the _entire_ Great Hall that you _dragged_ your cousin out! What were you _thinking?_ You are Head _Boy!_ ”

“Now, Lilikins -” I turned to see James with his hands up, ready to fend off Lily’s rage.

“Do not _Lilikins_ me! You are supposed to be an _example_ to the younger students!” Quietly, Sirius and I backed away towards the school with Remus, Alice, and Marlene not far behind.

\---

“Dragons! For the next few weeks we will be focusing on dragons. Who can tell me their favorite breed?” Professor Kettleburn stood at the front of the room, looking expectantly at us. A tiny blue speckled bird sat calmly inside a birdcage next to his desk, eyeing us with its beady black eyes. He smiled to the girl next to me. “Ms. Evans?”

“The Antipodean Opaleye, Professor.” Lily sat with her back straight, butt on the edge of her seat. A glance at her meticulous notes showed she had already written the notes from the board in neat script and was even halfway through a beautiful drawing a dragon. I had no idea she could draw so well.

The silver haired professor grinned, limping a few feet in front of his desk. “Ah, those are some beauties. I saw a few on my last trip to New Zealand. Newt and I had -”

I couldn’t help but stare at Professor Kettleburn. He had only one human arm, the other was a wooden prosthetic. Lily had told me earlier that he only had half of one leg left with a prosthetic and another prosthetic on his _other_ leg. I was also told that he had 35 probations as a professor at the moment. The man was energetically telling us about his adventure in New Zealand and the almost loss of his left leg but he narrowly escape with just a chunk of the leg missing.

The class was packed. Every other class had had around 10 to 15 students but this one had every single 7th year Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Lily had pointed out the Ravenclaws including Xenophilius Lovegood. The spacey boy sat to my right across the aisle, listening to Kettleburn’s story. 

It was clear that no one in the class took it because they wanted to get into Magizoology but because Kettleburn had a reputation for having the most exciting class in the school. A few years ago, the school had tried to perform a play called _The Fountain of Fair Fortune._ Kettleburn had let the play use one of his worms which ended up exploding, causing a fire and lead to another professor ending up in the hospital wing. 

The energy and passion Kettleburn had was magnetic. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him as he continued to discuss the Antipodean Opaleye. Before I knew it, the bell rang.

“We will continue this next class! I want each of you thinking about which breed of dragon you find the most fascinating! We have many to discuss and possibly see!” Kettleburn exclaimed.

I turned towards Lily with a wide eyed expression. She looked back at me with amusement. “Greatest class ever, right?”

“Why do we even _have_ other classes? I could listen to him all day.” We packed up our things and joined the crowd heading out into the hallway.

James wedged himself between Lily and I. “Do you think he’ll bring in a dragon egg this year? That would be wicked.”

“It’s illegal to breed dragons, James. Even Kettleburn wouldn’t be that -” Lily stopped herself and shook her head. “Nevermind, he _would_ be that reckless but Dumbledore wouldn’t.”

“Considering the Wampus kitten he brought in 4th year, I don’t think Dumbledore could stop him if he _did_ bring a dragon egg in.” Remus said behind us. I looked over my shoulder to see him, Sirius, and Peter right behind us.

“I heard Fabian Prewett got a Ministry internship working with dragons, he could probably get one from him.” Sirius added. Lily opened her mouth to mostly likely tell us how illegal it is again but Sirius cut her off. “Hey, Syd did you finish the Muggle Studies homework?”

“Yeah, I finished it last night.” I pulled out the paper and Sirius snatched it from my hand, reading as he walked. I watched him, amused. We made it to the Great Hall as he was finishing it up. As we sat, I reached for his bag. “Let me see yours.”

He caught my hand before it could get in there and he handed my homework back to my free hand. I gave him a curious look. “It’s not done, I'm going to finish it in a few minutes.”

“Sirius Orion Black, did you just read my paper to _cheat?_ ” I gasped dramatically. Remus shot me a confused look as did Sirius. “What?”

“How did you know my middle name?” Sirius asked, genuinely confused.

 _Shit._ I tried my best to look confused. “Uh, I think Jaimy must have said it or something.”

“I almost never call him by his full name, Syd. Cause if he ever called me by mine, I’d have to hex him. My dad can get away by being called Monty but Fleamont is the _worst_ middle name.”

“At least it’s not your first name.” I countered. He grinned at my point but sadly I now had nothing to work with. “I must’ve seen it on your books or something.”

“Nothing of his says it, Syd.” Remus pointed out unhelpfully. “His trunk doesn’t even have his middle initial.”

I shrugged, I had nothing. Literally no way to explain how I knew his middle name. God _damn_ it. I _had_ to be more careful in the future. “Lucky guess?”

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks but let it go. James got distracted by Lily’s hair and didn’t notice us after his input. Sirius nodded, clearly not believing me. “Right. Well, I’m not _cheating,_ I’m just checking resources.”

“Oh, I’m a resource now? How do you know I didn’t make that entire paper up?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

He raised both eyebrows at me, unimpressed. “Your notes are almost as neurotic as Lily’s. There’s no way your homework wouldn’t be perfect.”

He was right but damn _how_ had he picked up on that so fast? It had only been a few days of classes. I wasn’t going to be top of the class but I took pride in the fact that I really tried when it came to school work. Half assing school work was not my style. I humphed, defeated, and started eating my lunch. Remus chuckled at me and I threw a half hearted glare at him. Stupid boys.

\---

Sirius and I were the only ones from our house in Muggle Studies. The rest consisted of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Everyone else in our group had a free period then headed to either Study of Ancient Runes or Divination while Sirius and I had the rest of the afternoon free. Monday, I had kind of zoned out, still a little off from being in a different place. As I watched the professor drone on about bell bottoms, I couldn’t help but stare. There was _something_ about him...

An elbow interrupted my train of thought. Sirius raised one eyebrow at me in question. Sighing, I leaned over and whispered. “What’s Professor Q’s last name? I swear I’ve seen him somewhere.”

“Yeah, Monday.” He joked. When we had entered, Professor Q had introduced himself to me and insisted I call him Q. He was young, in his mid-twenties with pale blue eyes and a bald head. “Uh, I think it’s Quirgle or something? No one calls him by his last name.”

My quill froze and I turned slowly to look at his face, suppressing my shock. Quietly, I asked. “Quirrell?”

“That’s it.” Sirius agreed with surprise. “Quirrell. His first name begins with a Q too but I can’t say it.”

The look on Sirius’ face told me I wasn’t doing a great job at hiding my horror. I could literally _feel_ the blood draining from my face. He leaned closer, concerned. “Syd, you ok?”

“Yeah,” Brushing off his concern quickly. I turned back to my notes and pretending to be catching up on the things _Quirrell/ _was writing. “Felt a little light headed. It’s too hot in here.”__

__Sirius hummed but didn’t push it, going back to doodling on his parchment. Jesus _fucking_ Christ. _Quirrell?_ Was the _Muggle Studies professor?_ Now, I knew I’d lost it. How the hell did someone who _taught wizards about Muggles_ go to hosting the Dark Lord on his _head?_ I’d never been more confused in my life. _ _

__I needed to see Dumbledore _soon_. This was more than I could handle. Then again, _how_ could I even handle it? Quirrell was _here,_ he hadn’t joined with Voldemort yet and wouldn’t for a while. Did I even _do_ anything? I couldn’t believe this was happening._ _

__Class ended so we headed up to the tower. Sirius chatted away as I interjected enough to seem like I was following along. We climbed into the tunnel and Tux ran to greet us. Sirius bent down and gave him his undivided attention. I watched the two of them with a small smile. “I’m surprised he likes you so much, he doesn’t normally like any guys.”_ _

__“He’s got good taste.” Sirius teased, winking at me. I rolled my eyes and went to sit at the couch by the fireplace. “I’m going to head up for a bit and nap. These morning runs Prongs is making us do are exhausting.”_ _

__“See you soon then.” I pulled out my Transfiguration book, starting my homework and doing my best to _not_ think about Quirrell. Tux settled down at my feet as Sirius disappeared up the staircase. The younger students walked in and out, a few sitting to complete their homework in other areas of the common room._ _

__An hour later, Tux stood up and stretched. He nudged my leg with his nose then trotted off to the staircase. I watched him for a moment, frowning. What was he doing?_ _

__“Tux!” I hissed firmly. My black mutt turned to the right side and walked up the boys’ staircase as if he owned the place. Jesus Christ, he could _not_ keep going up there. Quietly, I followed him to the top of the tower. He slipped through a doorway as if he was allowed to go right in. Shaking my head, I knocked on the slightly open oak door. No one answered so I poked my head in. _ _

__The room was identical to our room in the girls’ tower except three out of four of the beds were a mess. _Boys._ Ugh. The one on the far left was especially gross. I was about to look at the rest of the room but my head turned back quickly to the left bed. I _swear_ that sock just moved. Were they _growing_ things in here? Shuddering, I glanced around to find Tux curled up on the middle right bed._ _

__“Tux, off.” I commanded. My dog just blinked at me, not moving. “Tux, come on.”_ _

__I started to walk towards him and about two thirds of the way across the room, I jumped when I heard a door open. Spinning around, I found myself looking at a towel clad Sirius. Holy _shit._ I suddenly had the urge to burn every piece of Sirius’ clothing._ _

__“Syd, what are you -” He looked at the bed with my dog and smiled. Tux’s tail thumped against the mattress happily. “Oh, if he wants to come up, it’s fine.”_ _

__I gulped, forcing - literally _forcing_ \- my eyes back to Sirius’ face and not - _ _

__Nope, don’t even think it, Syd. “I -”_ _

__“Really, Syd. He’s a great dog,” Sirius ran a hand through his wet hair, throwing me a wink. “He can sleep on my bed any time.”_ _

__Of _course_ it had to be Sirius’ bed. My dog couldn’t have picked say, _James’_ bed. Nope, he picked the now practically naked dude’s bed. Water rolled down his neck from his hair, making a path down his chest to -_ _

___EYES UP, SYD_. Abruptly, I shot my eyes back to Sirius’ face to see him watching me knowingly. _Fuck.__ _

__Gulping, I watched as he stalked towards me. I backed up a few steps but something hit the back of my legs. I glanced down to see a trunk blocking my retreat. Looking back up, I gasped._ _

__Sirius was an _inch_ from me. His head was tilted down towards mine, hand still firmly on his towel. My eyes flickered to his lips and I reflexively bit my lower lip. His arm moved towards me, his body leaning in, and I shut my eyes -_ _

__A breathy chuckle tickled my left ear. Opening my eyes back up, I saw that Sirius was leaning over me, practically on top of me, his left arm reaching for something behind me. He pulled back, his clothes held in his hand and his mouth opened, about to say something._ _

___BAM._ _ _

__We jumped, Sirius moving back a few steps on reflex. I took a deep breath, not realizing I had been holding it. I felt slightly lightheaded for a moment. Peter came bustling into the room, beelining for the messy bed on the left. “Forgot my Divination book. Again!”_ _

__“You’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached to you, Wormy.” Sirius teased. Peter made a triumphant noise, unearthing the book from the pile of socks where I _swear_ one had moved earlier. He turned towards us and stopped in surprise._ _

__“What are you doing up here, Syd?” Peter looked back and forth between us, taking in Sirius’ lack of clothing and our closeness._ _

__“Grabbing Tux,” I sounded normal, thank _God_. It felt as if all the air had left my lungs and I was worried I’d sound out of breath which would _not_ help this situation at all. “I was just leaving though, it’s been a losing battle.”_ _

__“Uh huh,” Peter glanced between us once more, clearly not believing me. “Well, I’m heading down now.”_ _

__“Bye, Worm.” Sirius looked back towards me then began backing away towards the bathroom. “I’ll be out in a minute, you can just wait on my bed.”_ _

__The bathroom door shut before I could reply. Sighing, I sat down next to my dog and glared at him._ _

__\---_ _

__Brushing my hair out, I tried not to think of that moment earlier with Sirius. If Peter hadn’t barged in, I probably would’ve embarrassed myself more than I already had. The image of Sirius in just a towel -_ _

__Nope, don’t go there._ _

__After that incident, Sirius came back out, clothed unfortunately, and we argued over my dog being allowed to come and go between the dorms. In the middle of the argument, Butter strolled in and joined Tux on Sirius’ bed. I gave up after that._ _

__Dinner had been normal with everyone except Peter who kept looking at Sirius and me. It was unnerving. No one else seemed to notice but the attention made me uncomfortable. Only when Sirius engaged him in conversation and he stopped staring did I feel better. After dinner had been similar, we relaxed in the common room but Peter was _still_ staring at us. We weren’t even sitting on the couch together. Sirius had sat on the floor and I sat on the couch behind him, next to James. Finally, after it felt like my skin was going to crawl off, everyone headed to bed. _ _

__I put my toiletries away in my cabinet in their spots under the sink. The bathroom had a double vanity with one cabinet per girl, two toilet stalls, and two shower stalls. It had a large space in the middle, giving us plenty of room to move about. The white tiles were sparkling clean and the maroon accents looked perfect in the Gryffindor bathroom. When I walked out into the dorm to my bed, Alice and Marlene had their curtains drawn and Lily was lost in a book._ _

__Look out the window, I bit my lip in thought. If I came _from_ the forest then maybe my answer to getting home was _in_ the forest. It couldn’t hurt to just look around. And I don’t think I ran too far to get to the tree line so I wasn’t going to go too deep. Glancing around, I realized I’d have to do it late at night otherwise someone might question why I was wandering around a _forbidden_ forest._ _

__Pulling the covers up, I slid into bed and heard Lily put her book away as I stared up at the maroon canopy. I couldn’t bring Tux though, it was dangerous and if anything happened to him..._ _

__Tonight. I would go in tonight. There was no reason to wait. I needed answers and hopefully I’d find them in the forest._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Professor Kettleburn is OFFICIALLY my favorite professor. Sorry, Remus and Minnie but DAMN he was awesome. I looked a lot of stuff up on HP Wiki and tried to keep it as close as I could to what was there and as I was reading it ALL I wanted was more. He is AMAZING. If you haven't ever read the HP Wiki article on him, do it.


	7. Family Is Family

Hours later, I crept out of bed and threw on sweatpants and my sweatshirt. Tux lifted his head and watched as I tiptoed towards the door. He quietly got up to follow me.

“Nope, dude. You stay here,” I whispered, shoving him back into the room. He whined as I clicked the door shut. As quickly and as quietly as I could, I sprinted down the stairs and made my way to the front entrance. The suits of armor stood guard as I slipped out into the chilly night. 

A crescent moon dimly light the grass, barely lighting up the forest. Stopping at the tree line, I looked behind me just in case someone followed me. _Not_ that I’d be able to see one of the boys if they were hiding under the cloak but I still felt like I needed to check. God forbid, _Lily_ followed me in. I’d never get her to stop questioning me on why I was lurking about the forest. Taking a deep breath, I walked into the pressing dark.

“ _Lumos_.” The end of my wand lit up, casting a glow over the two feet of ground around me. I was _pretty_ sure I had come in right around here. Then again it had been almost a week ago, raining, and I was a little discombobulated. Walking slowly, I checked trees and the ground for any clues of where I had landed. Ten minutes later, I found it. A trunk of a tree looked like it had been blasted by lightning. Creeping closer, I shone my wand over it to see the jagged top charred.

And that was it. Nothing else. The ground didn’t even look disturbed. Shit. I knew it was a long shot but I had hoped maybe there would be an energy or ruby slippers or -

_Crack._

I spun around towards the sound on my left but there was nothing there. A rustling on my right had me spinning back but again, nothing. Something wet plopped onto my left shoulder. Looking at it, I watched as the wet blob immediately began to eat through my sweatshirt. Shoving my wand into the waistband of my pants, I ripped the sweatshirt off as quickly as I could and flung it away, now standing in just a thin tank top.

Breathing fast, I almost missed the sound of clicking coming from above me. Closing my eyes in disbelief, I muttered to myself. “Please don’t be Aragog spawn. Please don’t be Aragog spawn.”

Finally, I looked up.

“ _Shit_.” Not waiting to hear a response from the _hundreds of baby monster spiders_ , I sprinted away. Feet pounding the ground, branches whacking me in the face, I could hear the sound of tiny legs chasing me.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I yelled, feeling a hairy leg brush my arm. _Nope_ I was _not_ traveling through multiple planes of space and time to be eaten by a god damn _spider_. Pushing my legs harder, I kept running until I burst through a few bushes and tripped over a log.

Several cries of alarm echoed around me as I rolled into a clearing. Looking up from my spot on the ground, I saw a herd of centaurs shooting the spiders down as they crawled into the clearing. Hooves stomped right next to me as more centaurs joined in the massacre. Scooting back, my back met a fallen tree and I tried to catch my breath. The spiders retreated quickly once they realized they were being picked off by the centaurs. Minutes later, once the coast was clear of eight-legged baby monsters, the centaurs turned and pointed their arrows at a new target.

Me.

“Hold your fire!” A commanding voice shouted. A chestnut haired centaur walked towards me slowly, hand raised towards the rest of the herd. “Child, you should not be here.”

“Right, just uh, took a wrong turn -” I hissed sharply, hand clutching my left side as I tried to stand up. _Fuuuuck_ me.

“Magorian, the foal is injured.” A red haired centaur observed to Magorian’s right.

A black haired male centaur scoffed loudly, hooves moving impatiently. “It shouldn’t even _be_ in the forest. It’s injury is none of our concern.”

“She is just a _foal_ , Bane. Have some compassion.” The red haired male shot back. 

“ _She_ is sitting right here.” I growled, using the tree to carefully stand up. I glared at Bane. “And _she_ wasn’t exactly planning on walking into a hoard of monster baby spiders. Jesus, that hurt.”

I tried to take a deep breath but a sharp pain ran through me when I did. Turning towards Magorian, I leaned against the tree to steady myself. “Thank you, by the way. I’m pretty sure I was two seconds away from being a midnight snack.”

“You are most welcome, Child.” Magorian bowed his head slightly.

“Sydney. My name is Sydney.” I offered. The centaurs looked at one another in surprise. I glanced at them suspiciously. “What?”

“You are the one who came through time 5 moons ago.” Bane looked shocked as though he couldn’t believe it. This guy was really starting to get on my nerves.

“So, you guys, uh, know about that.” I looked between them. “Any chance you know how I can get home?”

“You will not find your answers in the forest, Traveler.” Magorian declared. The answer leaving no room for discussion. He looked towards the red haired centaur, avoiding my gaze. He _knew_ something. “Ronan will take you back through the trees.”

The dismissal clear, the other centaurs began to walk away except for Ronan. I walked towards Magorian as fast as I could. “Hey! Wait! That’s it? How do you even know?”

The large chestnut centaur stopped, then turned his head towards me and looked up. I stumbled to a halt and glanced up into the tree canopy above us. “The stars. Your journey is only beginning. The answers you seek are within.”

I shook my head and scoffed. “Is it too hard to just answer a question? The _stars_ have all the answers don’t they? Can’t they just tell me how to get back?”

“They are cryptic themselves. Giving glances at the future but never answers.” Magorian answered calmly. “And traipsing around the forest will not give you the answers you seek.”

“I just want to go home!” I screamed at him. Ah, _there_ was my brain starting to crack. I had put too much hope in finding something in the forest without realizing it. And to have someone tell me I was completely wrong...I could feel the crack in my composure. The herd turned and watched me with wide eyes. Tears formed as I whispered again. “Please. I just want to go home.”

He nodded solemnly as a few tears escaped. “You will, Traveler. In time, you will. But there are those who are counting on you to save them first. When the time is right, you will return. Now, go with Ronan. He will return you to the school.”

Dejected and sore, I turned to follow Ronan but Magorian’s voice stopped me. “And Sydney?”

I met his dark serious eyes. “Stay out of the forest. There are worst creatures than the acromantula living here.”

\---

We broke through the forest right next to a pumpkin patch. Ronan had been silent the entire walk and although it was a perfect opportunity to grill him, I just couldn’t. My side hurt, my brain hurt, and I was just _tired_. A large form ambled over towards us in the dark.

“Ronan? What’r yer -” The voice was gruff. As it drew closer, I saw a kind but confused face take in me standing next to the centaur. _Hagrid_. The hut behind him had smoke curling out of the chimney and all I wanted at that moment was to curl up next to a cozy fire.

Ronan acknowledged the large man with a nod. “Hagrid, we found this foal in the forest. I was just returning her. Please, remind Dumbledore that the forest is too dangerous for the school’s foals.” 

“Will do, Ronan.” Hagrid replied heartedly. Ronan dipped his head and melted back into the trees without another word. I looked back towards Hagrid and shrugged.

“I got a little lost.” He didn’t look like he believed me. I held out my hand, grimacing a little at the movement. “I’m Sydney.”

“Yer the one Dumbledore told us ‘bout.” Hagrid’s grip engulfed mine as he shook it. “What’r yer doing out here?”

“Couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d go for a walk.” Wrapping my arm back around my waist, I glanced at the castle then back to him. “But uh, I think I broke a rib or something in there. Any chance you could show me to the hospital wing? I’m still not sure where everything is.”

“O’course, o’course,” With the prospect of a task at hand, Hagrid seemed more at ease. He guided me up to the castle and through the corridors, asking me about classes so far and if I knew the Marauders. It was a pleasant chat, he was awkward but truly interested in what I told him. He stopped at tall oak doors on our right. “ ‘ere yer go. Madame Pomfrey will fix yer right up.”

“Thanks, Hagrid.” I smiled gratefully at him and he nodded. “I’ll make sure to tell the boys you were asking about them.”

He was about to reply when one of the doors swung open. With wide eyes, he waved and escaped down the corridor. A stern woman glared at me from the doorway. “In, in, in.”

I was herded through the doors and once they shut, she began to scold me in full force. “Out of bed after curfew! And wearing practically nothing! What have you done to yourself? Were you in the _forest?_ ”

“I, uh -” I was cut off by an amused soft voice.

“Poppy, at least let Ms. Rose sit before you start in on her.” Dumbledore suggested, walking over to us as Pomfrey sat me on a bed. She began to inspect me from head to toe, waving her wand around. When she prodded my ribs, I hissed at the pain. 

“I just fell, it’s nothing.” I protested. She humphed and stalked towards a cabinet. I turned to Dumbledore to defend myself. “Really.”

“Ms. Rose, of all people, _you_ should know better than to go wandering in the forest.” Dumbledore lightly scolded as quietly as he could.

“I was just -” I looked meaningfully over at Pomfrey. “Looking around. How did you know I went out there anyway?”

“The knights.” I gave him a confused looked. “The suits of armor in the foyer. The portraits have also been keeping an eye on you.”

“You’re _spying_ on me?” I hissed at him. I wasn’t surprised he was keeping tabs on me but to say it so _casually_ as if it were normal to stalk a 17 year old girl through portraits and suits of supposedly empty armor was a little much. “Wait, so you know about Brogan?”

“I do.” He nodded thoughtfully. “Professor McGonagall also brought it to my attention.”

“And you _let_ him work here?” He could clearly hear the level of pissed off I was but didn’t even flinch. “He’s horrible.”

“Actually, you’re the only student who’s had an issue with him so far.” Dumbledore lifted an eyebrow at me. “Everyone else seems to find him charming. Almost killing kittens and all.”

“He was performing Unforgivable Curses on a _baby_ kitten. You think I should’ve just _let_ him?” I snapped quietly. Dumbledore held a hand up to stop my triad.

“It was part of the lesson, Ms. Rose. I approved it myself,” My jaw dropped at this admission. “We are heading into a war, as you well know, and the students need to be prepared for seeing ugly things. I admire your bravery but it was a lesson that was intentional. Would you have had the same reaction if it were say, a spider?”

Shuddering at the memory of the small monsters chasing me earlier, I answered. “I guess not. I still wouldn’t have thought you’d approve something like that.”

“I’m not proud of what I do all the time but right now, it’s necessary to allow small terrible things to happen so that we may prevent bigger terrible things.” He looked old in that moment. I knew he was pretty old at this point in time but it was more than just the white hair and soft voice. His eyes held a weight in them that showed a lifetime of hard choices. “Did you have anything else to discuss? I believe the potion Madame Pomfrey is going to give you may put you right to sleep.”

“My supposed reason for being here. You really don’t know what Future Me had told everyone? Or how I could get home?” He shook his head and I sighed in resignation. “I’m just a little confused about everything like what to say about why I came to Hogwarts.”

“Stay as close to the truth as you can.” Dumbledore suggested. “That way it will be easier to be as honest with your friends as you can.”

Chewing my bottom lip, I thought it over. He was right. It would be hard to keep track of a billion little lies but if I told them things that were true in a way...

We looked up as Pomfrey came bustling over, still muttering to herself. “Open up now, Ms. Rose.”

“What is it?” I asked skeptically inspecting the light blue liquid.

“It will help your bones settle and fuse together. Three broken ribs and a fractured collarbone! What in Merlin’s name were you doing? Throwing yourself into trees?” Dumbledore chuckled behind her. She shot him a glare and he quickly coughed, trying to cover up the laughter.

I muttered, hoping she wouldn’t look too much further into what I was doing. “Something like that.”

“Drink up. You’ll sleep here then head to class in the morning.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“But -”

“ _Now_ , Ms. Rose.” Her eyebrows furrowed together as she waited impatiently. Sighing, I downed the potion. It had a sweet aftertaste, coating my throat like syrup. Handing the bottle back to Pomfrey, I opened my mouth to try and continue my conversation with Dumbledore, intent on asking about Quirrell, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open...

\---

A wet nose nudged his hand, pulling him slightly out of his deep sleep. When the whine reached his ears, Sirius opened his eyes in confusion. Tux sat at the edge of his bed, pushing his nose into his hand and looking at him with worry. Strange. Syd had seemed pretty adamant about Tux sleeping in her room at night...

Looking over next to him, Sirius found James still asleep which meant it was _early_. Prongs was always up before him for Quidditch practice. Running a hand through his hair, Sirius sat up and grabbed his wand. “ _Accio_ Map.”

The map shot out from beneath James’ bed and straight into his open hand. Touching the tip of his wand to the parchment, Sirius whispered. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

Ink bled onto the parchment, revealing the layout of the castle and the occupants in it. Searching through the girls’ tower, Sirius frowned when he didn’t see Syd’s name. He began checking other places she could be but his heart stopped when he found her.

_The Hospital Wing._

What in Merlin’s sweaty arse was she doing _there?_ Slightly panicked, Sirius hopped out of bed and shook James’ shoulder. “Prongs! Up!”

“Whahbf?” James yawned, blinking up tiredly at his best mate.

“Syd’s in the hospital wing,” James sprung up at the words, almost bashing his head against Sirius’.

“ _What?_ ” He yelled but Sirius had already turned, pulling a shirt on quickly then reaching for Remus. The other boy was already pulling on his own shirt, wand in his pocket.

“Wormy! Get up!” Sirius barked. Peter rose his head but didn’t make an effort to move any further. Sirius didn’t wait for them but quickly made his way to the hospital wing, Tux only a step ahead of him. Sirius, James, and Remus arrived at the tall doors breathless. Sirius pulled the door open to reveal Sydney sitting calmly on a bed and being checked by Poppy.

They both looked up at the sound of the door opening. Syd was the first to comment on their appearance, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Sirius? What are you guys doing here?”

“Us?! What are _you_ doing here?!” James exclaimed, barging past Sirius who was still in the doorway. All of the tension had finally melted from his body at the sight of Syd in one piece. Remus clapped a hand on his shoulder and when Sirius turned towards him, he gave him a significant look.

The two of them joined the cousins who were bickering about how Syd had ended up here. She sighed in frustration. “I just fell! It’s not a big deal, James.”

“You’re in the hospital wing! Mum is going to murder me when she finds out.” He threw his head back dramatically.

“She’s not going to find out unless _you_ tell her.” Syd was clad in only a black tank and black sweatpants, legs dangling off the side with her toes touching the ground.

“Actually, Ms. Rose, I already owled your aunt and uncle.” Syd turned with a dropped jaw to Poppy. “As your guardians, I am obligated to inform them of any of their charges being admitted to the hospital wing.”

“But -” She started.

“Everything looks good, all ribs are fused, collarbone is back in place, so you are free to go, Ms. Rose. Please don’t make this a habit.” Poppy promptly grabbed her things and strolled back to her office.

“Ribs - Syd, _what_ were you doing?” James gasped, looking between Syd and Poppy’s office.

Sighing, Syd stood and crossed her arms, giving James a look. “I went for a walk and fell. I’m fine. How did you know I was even here?”

James clammed up quickly and looked at Sirius and Remus for help. Luckily, Sirius found an answer that would keep their secret and was perfectly reasonable. “Tux. He woke me up so we followed him here.”

Skeptically, Syd eyed her dog then the boys in turn. It _was_ a reasonable explanation but Sirius could see that Syd didn’t believe them. Holding his breath, he waited for her to call them out on the lie.

“Hmm,” She stood slowly with a suspicious look still on her face, chocolate eyes watching him carefully. “Alright. But it really wasn’t a big deal. I’m in one piece. Can we get breakfast now? I’m starving.”

Tux shoved his head into Syd’s palm and she automatically pet him before brushing past James. Remus and Sirius fell into step with her as she strode out the doors, James running to catch up. Sirius kept glancing at the dark haired girl next to him as they walked to the Great Hall, James still quizzing her on why she would be out in the middle of the night. There was something strange about Syd and Sirius was determined to figure out what it was.

\---

Since we had been the first people to breakfast, we’d finished before my roommates and Peter had even woken up. I had headed up with Remus to get ready for the day as Sirius and James went to the Quidditch Pitch for practice. 

“Have you all been to Hogsmeade this year yet?” I asked, trying to fill the silence. Other students passed and there was some noise but since I’d been up at the ass crack of dawn, I was more awake than usual and was in desperate need of distraction.

“The Sunday before you got here, actually.” Remus replied matter-of-factly. Crap, when I had gone shopping with Dumbledore, I had only gotten the basics. Which meant I had lost the only sweatshirt I currently owned. It was only the end of September but the days were getting cooler every single day. “Next trip will be the 8th.”

“What kind of shops are in Hogsmeade? I’ve never been,” We made our way up one of the moving staircases which luckily for us was _not_ moving.

Remus moved out of the way of a younger Ravenclaw girl rushing by, stepping closer to me as we walked. I hadn’t figured out the exact years of students by looking at them yet. If I had guess though, it was a second or third year. “There’s Honeydukes for candy, the quill shop Scivenshaft’s, the Three Broomsticks has food -” When I didn't respond, he quirked an eyebrow at me. “Were you looking for something in particular?”

“Clothes. I didn’t bring much with me so I wanted to grab a few things.” And by didn’t bring much with me, I meant _just_ the clothes on my back.

“You could try Gladrags,” We had reached the portrait and Remus stepped back to let me through first.

“I guess I will. Thanks, Remus.” I smiled at him and made my way towards the stairs to get ready for Potions. “Can I meet you back here in like an hour? I’m not sure I remember the way to Potions.”

“Sure, Syd.” I paused to watch him as he went up his own staircase as Peter came sleepily down the stairs. The boys chatted but were too far for me to hear them. I made my way up, I had no interest in awkwardly talking to Peter and if I lingered any longer it was bound to happen. I know I was supposed to change things here: Lily and James, Sirius, Remus, etc. and maybe even Peter but it was hard to even look at Peter. Knowing what he was going to do to these people who considered him family, a brother, it just disgust me to my core.

I was loyal to a fault, especially to my family. The thought of ever betraying them like Peter had - sorry, _would_ \- was unfathomable to me. There was _nothing_ on this Earth (or _my_ Earth) that could cause me to betray one of my sisters. Or Emmy for that matter. 

And from what I could remember, there wasn’t anything specific that caused Peter to defect to Voldemort except he thought Voldemort would win. The boys didn’t bully him, I noticed some teasing over the past few days but it wasn’t anything that was hurtful. In fact, it reminded me of how my sisters and I were with one another.

That might be the worst part though and why I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him yet. If he could change sides so easily, against those who would die for him, then how could I ever trust him? Or expect him to not do the same thing in the future I knew? Peter had defected due to self preservation and that kind of selfishness was the complete opposite of my own morals.

\---

The fire crackled next to me soothingly. Another night of insomnia was hitting me. The day had passed relatively normal. Well, for as normal as a day can be when at a _wizarding_ school. Potions was first thing that morning and had been a lecture on the uses, antidotes, dangers, etc. of Veritaserum. I’m still a little confused why Slughorn had the lecture _after_ we brewed the potion but hey, I’m not the professor. 

A free class, lunch, then Charms, followed by another free period before dinner. I still hold out on six classes being a lot though. My schedule had a lot of free periods but most of those free periods were spent doing homework and cross-checking homework since I only had bits and pieces in my brain from Future Me's Sydney-suddenly-knows-magic potion.

I reread the paragraph I had just written on Veritaserum dangers when the sofa dipped down at my feet. I looked up expecting to see Sirius but found James sitting there. “Hey.”

“Hey,” He replied causally. Pulling his feet up, he crossed them and face me on the sofa, his back resting against the arm. “What are you doing up?”

“Potions homework.” I grumbled, gesturing at my parchment. “What are _you_ doing up? Don’t you have Quidditch early in the morning?”

“Yeah but I had a feeling you were down here,” Tux, who had been sleeping on the floor next to me, was sitting patiently next to James. James smiled softly at him and gave Tux a scratch on the head.

“A feeling?” I raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Afraid I was going to sneak out again?”

“Nooooo,” He tried to look innocent but James and innocent are never associated together. “How are you feeling by the way?”

“You mean since you asked me two hours ago?” James shrugged and I scrunched my lips at his shadiness. “I’m fine. Just like I told you the other 7,000 times today.”

“Can you blame me for being worried?” He argued, staring me down. “You’ve only been here a few days and you’ve broken ribs and your collarbone not to mention the whole thing with Brogan -”

“Oh, so I was supposed to just let him kill Butter -” The protest coming fast against his attack.

“No but -” I cut him off, folding my arms over my chest.

“Jaimy, I am not a _child_.” He opened his mouth to argue back but I held up my hand and he stopped himself. “I’m not saying that to be cliche or I’m an adult and you’ll treat me like it kind of thing. I mean that literally. I am _not_ a child. I’m not a responsible adult but I’m also not five and I don’t need to be babysat every second. I understand that you were worried about me but it’s not your job to keep me out of trouble.”

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. It was funny seeing the mannerisms that Sirius and James had from being around each other for so long. “I’m your cousin, it’s in the job description.”

“Jaimy -”

“I get it,” He held his hands up in defeat. “I’ll try not to be so...”

“Overbearing?” I filled in sweetly. He glared back and threw a pillow at my face. I caught it swiftly and held it against my chest.

“I’m not _trying_ to be overbearing. I’ve just -” Looking at the wall behind me, blowing out a breath loudly. “I’ve never had someone I had to look out for before. It’s stressful.”

“What about Sirius, Remus, and Peter? You’ve never had to look out for them?” I asked, stretching out my leg. I’d been sitting in the same position so long that my leg was cramping.

“That’s different. We’re the Marauders, we protect each other but we know that we can look out for ourselves.”

“And I can’t?” I wasn’t sure where he was going with this.

“You’re in a new country and around new people, so in a way, yes. I need to look out for you.” He was absentmindedly petting Tux who was loving the attention. “Plus mum will murder me if anything happens to you.”

“I can’t make any promises but I’ll _try_ not to get you murdered.” I smiled but my insides turned cold at my words. I had meant them jokingly, something I’d say to Shay if we were having a similar conversation, something I never would’ve thought twice about. But now I was thinking twice about it. James could be murdered if I wasn’t careful. This sweet, caring boy who didn’t actually know me but cared for me immensely after knowing me for a few days could be gone and thinking about it, truly thinking about him being just gone, _hurt_ my heart. “We should head up, try and sleep before the sun comes up.”

“It does take at least a few hours of sleep to look this good every day,” He dramatically flung his head back, preening. We stood but before he could step away, I pulled him into a hug. He squeezed back, hooking his chin over my shoulder. We were almost the same height but he had an inch on me. “What’s this for?”

“Thank you,” I whispered, tightening my wrapped arms around his neck. Pulling back, I looked him in the eyes deliberately. “I mean it. Thank you for being here for me. You don’t have to and -”

“We’re family, Syd.” James ruffled my hair gently and smirked. “I’ll be here for you no matter what. Even though you’re a nutter.”

Gasping, I smacked him on the shoulder. “Says the guy who named his broomstick after the love of his life. Cause _that’s_ not nutty, at all.”

He looked at me with wide eyes. “Who told you about that? Was it Padfoot cause -”

“No one,” I giggled, grabbing my homework and Potions book while backing away slowly. “I was just guessing. But _now_ -”

“Sydney I-don’t-know-your-middle-name Rose, where do you think you’re going?” He whispered threateningly. I had made it about a foot from the staircase when he leaped over the couch and launched towards me. With a thump, we landed on the floor with Tux barking at James.

“Jai -” I giggled uncontrollably as he began to tickle me mercilessly. “Jaimy!”

“Are you two _trying_ to wake the entire tower up?” An unamused voice said above us. We froze and turned to see Lily standing on the staircase. “What are you even doing?”

James looked down in horror at me as he realized I could leak his little secret to said love of his life. Quickly, before I could utter a word, he clasped his hand over mouth. “Nothing! Nothing at all!”

“Uh-huh.” Clearly unimpressed with his answer, Lily shook her head at the two of us. “Well, keep it down. _Some_ of us are trying to sleep.”

“Will do! Night, Lily!” James whispered yelled to her as she headed back up. He turned his attention back to me and pointed a finger at my face, his other hand still over my mouth. “Tell her and I’ll make every ounce of coffee in this castle disappear.”

“Yowndt.” I mumbled against his palm with terror.

“Try me.” He narrowed his eyes at me from above. He was still straddled over me, pinning me to the floor. Holding up my hands in surrender, I agreed to his terms.

He helped me off the floor, finally letting me escape when I mumbled. “Of course, when we graduate you won’t have anything to hold over me -”

James gaped at my words, slightly stunned. I dashed up the stairs as fast as I could, giggling once the door was closed. Lily was sitting up in bed, reading, and gave me an expectant look. “I’d tell you but he threatened coffee.”

\---

Morning came too soon. I sipped my coffee while glaring at James next to me, savoring the delicious beverage and trying to convey how betrayed I was that he would threaten coffee. He ignored me, talking to Remus about the latest Quidditch scores and who would most likely be going to the World Cup. Lily’s voice pulled me out of my glaring. “Syd, if tries to take it, I’ll hex him. Please stop glaring at him.”

I glanced over to see she hadn’t looked up from her crossword. Man, that girl had eyes in the back of her head _and_ on top of it. Squinting at her a little, I muttered to myself. “You’d hex him now if - OW!”

Whipping my head back to James, he continued his conversation with Remus as if he hadn’t just _crushed_ all of the toes on my left foot. I punched him on his right shoulder as hard as I could, causing him to spill his cup of tea over his lap.

“Bloody hell!” He yelled, leaping up quickly. The majority of the tea fell to the floor but some had already soaked through to burn his crotch. “You nutter!”

“Takes one to know one, Jaimy.” He stared hard at me for a second before reaching over to knock my coffee off the table onto _my_ lap. “Mother _fucker_.”

I tried to get up but tripped and crashed into Sirius who had been sitting next to me and chatting with Peter. He smoothly caught me around the waist as I collapsed on his lap. He raised one eyebrow at me. “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Huffing, I untangled myself from Sirius. James stood above me, arms crossed and looking _pissed_. Well that made two of us. I launched myself at him, tackling him to the floor. We rolled across the aisle, smacking each other and trying to get the upper hand.

“Wasn’t going to say -” I growled, landing a smack to his collar.

“Hinting at it counts!” He yelled, flipping us over so he was on top.

“You threaten my coffee!” I screeched back. Grabbing a handful of hair, I pulled, causing him lean back and grasp my wrist.

“Padfoot! Throw me the jam!” James pleaded.

“Don’t you - JAMES!” I screamed as an entire bowl full of jelly landed in my hair. Sirius had quickly handed the bowl to his best mate who blindly dumped it on me. “You son of a bitch!”

“That’s me, love. Not -” Sirius’ voice cut off as a glop of jelly landed in his pristine hair. I took another and smeared it into James’ who tried to pin my arms to the floor. Before Sirius could even open his mouth, a stern voice cut through the Hall.

“Ms. Rose! Mr. Potter!” We froze, staring at each other with wide eyes. _Fuck._ James slid off of me, butt landing on the stone. I sat up slowly to see McGonagall storming towards us. “50 points from Gryffindor! I do not want to even _know_ what this was about! Fighting like animals. I expected more from both of you.”

We glanced at each other, our hair covered in jam, then turned back to McGonagall, chorusing, “Sorry, Professor.”

“Clean yourselves up! I expected both of you in your morning class with no _condiments in your hair_ or you'll both receive detention.” The two of us scrambled up and out of the Great Hall, racing to the tower. We reached the portrait breathless. As soon as our eyes met, I lost it. Laughing hysterically, James joined me and we fell in a puddle of giggles and jam outside the Gryffindor tower. 

\---

A mug of steaming coffee slid into my view and I gasped in delight. Turning, I found Sirius with a smirk on his face. “You are an _angel_.”

Chuckling, he took his seat behind me next to Remus. “You’re welcome, love.”

It seemed that Sirius wasn’t as upset about me throwing jelly into his hair as I would’ve imagined. To be honest, he shouldn’t have even _given_ James the jelly. With a sigh of content, I sipped my new cup of coffee and tuned into our Care of Magical Creatures lesson that just began.

“Mr. Lupin! Favorite dragon breed?!” Kettleburn demanded. No intro to the lesson, no wasted minute, he just hopped straight in it. I was really starting to like this professor.

“Common Welsh Green.” Remus replied immediately. The name sounded familiar. I think that was one of the breeds during the TriWizard Tournament. Thank God that it had been banned for years and hopefully it wouldn’t be coming back during Harry’s 4th year. One more thing to stop from happening in the future.

“Probably one of the more peaceful dragons we will discuss!” Kettleburn seemed to have only one level of talking: excited. “Mostly eating sheep, they blend well in the grass in the mountains they like to inhabit. The only ones left are in a dragon reservation in the mountains of Wales...”

Kettleburn began telling us about how he and a friend were hiking the reservation mountain years ago to research the Common Welsh Greens. They lived off of berries, wild game, and the rivers flowing down the mountains for 4 months while collecting data.

I listened raptly as he talked about finding nests and counting eggs, seeing one hatch when they came up to the nest, almost being burned alive when the mother returned. The story helped keep my mind off of the fact that we had a DADA lesson after lunch.

I was dreading it.

I hadn’t spoke to Professor Brogan since the incident the other day and also hadn’t received any indication of the detentions I had to serve. Hopefully, the class wouldn’t be as terrible as the last one but I wasn't holding my breath.


	8. Rush

“Ms. Rose, Mr. Potter, and Mr. Black,” Professor Brogan called out over the noise of our classmates packing up. “Stay for a moment.”

We glanced at each, packing our things but staying seated. Remus and Lily gave us sympathetic looks as they escaped. Once everyone else had left the room, Brogan sat on a desk closer to us. “I wanted to let you know that your detentions are going to be with Mr. Filch Monday night and Tuesday night next week. It seems there was a mold outbreak in his office and files need to be recopied by hand.”

“We’ll be there, Professor.” James said, grabbing his bag. Sirius and I did the same but Brogan pointed at me.

“Ms. Rose, stay. Boys, you can go.” Sirius and James looked between Brogan and I, clearly as uncomfortable with leaving me there alone as I was with being left alone. Brogan didn’t seem to notice or care. “Go.”

The door closed behind them before Brogan spoke. “I talked to Professor Dumbledore about your other punishment. He said the two of you discussed our lesson and it seems there was a misunderstanding of the reason behind my lesson.”

“We did.” I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes at him slightly. “I’m still not convinced that it was an appropriate way to teach Unforgivable Curses but I...apologize for cursing at you, Professor.”

“Apology accepted, Ms. Rose. The Headmaster and I also discussed that the two detentions you’ll be serving next week will be sufficient. I’ve decided that you will be allowed to go on the Hogsmeade visits.” He looked as if he was doing me a favor. Bastard. McGonagall had approved my visits days ago, _he_ had nothing to do with it. 

Grudgingly, I said. “Thank you, Professor.”

“You’re welcome, Ms. Rose,” He flashed a smile at me, the sight made my stomach turn. Dumbledore had said that everyone got along with Brogan but there was just something about him that rubbed me the wrong way. “But I will not tolerate any more disruptions like the other day. Next time, you _will_ lose Hogsmeade visits. Do you understand?”

That you’re a condensing shit bag? “Yes, Professor.”

“Good. I’ll see you next class then, Ms. Rose.” I grabbed my bag and quickly escaped the room. James and Sirius were so close to the doorway that I almost ran into both of them.

“So?” James asked, looking over my shoulder to make sure Brogan hadn’t followed me out.

“Hogsmeade visits are back but I have to watch my ass around Brogan,” We began walking back to the tower as Sirius glared at my words.

“Brogan didn’t _actually_ use the word arse with you, did he? Cause that’s gross. He’s -”

“No, I was just making a point. He threatened to take Hogsmeade visits away though, so unless I want to be stuck in here while everyone else gets to run around Hogsmeade then I need to be on my best behavior.” Weaving our way through the halls, it took us a few minutes to get back to the tower. Frowning, I looked between the boys on either side of me. “Do you guys _like_ Professor Brogan?”

James ruffled his hair and thought about it for a sec. “He’s better than last year’s Defense teacher. And he has been pretty laid back so far. I don’t not like him.”

“Same. He’s not Kettleburn but he’s more interesting that Flitwick.” Sirius glanced down at me curiously. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, there’s just...” I didn’t know how to described the weird feelings I had around him. The thought of Brogan made my skin crawl. “Something off about him.”

\---

“Hey, Remus?” I leaned over the back of the sofa, over James’ shoulder, looking at the lean boy in the armchair. “Could you walk me to the library?”

Sirius’ head popped up from the other side of the couch. “Why not me?”

“Or me?” James sounded a little put out.

I gave the two of them a look. “I have the feeling that neither of you knows where the library is or what’s there.”

Offended gasps escaped the two boys. Sirius sat up and began to defend them. “We do so. We have to drag Moony to dinner at _some_ point, it didn’t take us long to figure out where it was when he goes there _every day_.”

“Uh huh.” I turned back towards Remus who watched us with amusement. “So?”

“Sure, Syd. Let me grab a book I need to return first.” He gathered his homework and then disappeared up the staircase. Lily, Marlene, and Alice were currently in Herbology while the boys and I had a free period before dinner. 

“You know, sooner or later you really need to remember where things are around here, love. We can’t keep dropping everything to take you places.” Sirius leaned his head on the back of the sofa and grinned lazily at me.

“Well,” I stood up and crossed my arms, resting my hip on the sofa back as I spoke to him. “If I had a _map_ or something -”

“Map?” Peter squeaked at the coffee table. I narrowed my eyes at him as the boys exchanged slightly panicked expressions.

“Yeah, you’d think with the school being thousands of years old, _someone_ would’ve made a map of the place.” I held in my smirk as they continued to look at each other and me with wild eyes. I heard Remus come down the stairs and looked behind me. He glanced between all of us suspiciously. “Right, Remus?”

“Right, what?” Clearly he knew not to answer without context. Smart boy.

“It would be helpful if I had a map.” I clarified. His eyebrows went up at my words. “Because I have no idea where anything is.”

His eyes darted behind me but I kept my gaze on Remus. He nodded slowly. “It would be. It’s a shame there isn’t one, maybe Sirius would finally learn where the library was.”

“Oi! I know where it is!” Sirius protested loudly, the tension snapped. “I’m not a bloody first year.”

“Language!” I gasped mockingly then gestured towards a few first years hiding in the corner doing their homework. “There are children, Sirius.”

He crossed his arms and pouted like a five year old, muttering to himself. I rolled my eyes and gestured for Remus to walk ahead of me. Since we had a few hours until dinner I figured I would check out the library to see if they had any books on Travelers. I was determined to at least figure out if I _could_ go home.

We strolled down the corridors, Remus smiling and greeting other students we passed. I adjusted the strap on my bag before speaking. “Thanks for taking me. I would’ve asked James or Sirius but...”

“They can be a little...much sometimes.” He shrugged in apology.

“Actually, I’m grateful that they’ve been like that. All of you.” I rubbed my upper arm, thinking out loud. Remus had a calming presence, it made me want to tell him everything. Of course, I couldn’t but that didn’t stop my mouth from opening. “When you’re all around, I’m not thinking of...”

“Of what, Syd?” Remus prompted when I didn’t finish.

“Home.” I whispered, looking at the carpeted floor. “I don’t have to think about home. And how much I miss it.”

Remus was quiet for a few moments as we turned a corner. “You’re homesick?”

“Very.” Admitting it was difficult. Little things reminded me of home, stupid things. There was a painting near the Gryffindor tower that was similar to the one in our living room that my mom had painted and every time we walked by, I had a weird moment that I thought it was hers. Or when James and Sirius communicated silently from across a room. The twins would do it _constantly_ and it drove Shay and I crazy.

“You haven’t talked about your family...or why you’re here. I assume it’s because of something you can’t talk about.” Remus carefully pointed out and waited for me to fill in the blanks. I was at a loss. I didn’t know _what_ to tell him. “If you’re homesick, why don’t you see if Dumbledore could arrange to send a letter to your family?”

“It’s not -” I stopped and glanced at him quickly before looking back at the carpet. “It’s not possible. But thank you for the idea, I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. And if you’d like to talk about anything, I’m always available to listen.” He nudged my left arm lightly then muttered. “Merlin knows I have enough experience listening to James and Sirius.”

I smiled at him as we reached the doors of the library. “Thanks. I might take you up on that offer.”

He pulled open one door and gestured for me to go through. We walked into the dimly lit room and he pointed towards the left side. “I’ll be down the third aisle towards the window if you need me.”

“Okay.” He walked away but I stopped him with a hand on his arm. Turning back, he met my eyes questioningly. “And really, thank you. It means a lot.”

A small grin spread across his face. “Any time, Syd. Any time.”

\---

Saturday morning, I blearily stumbled down to the Great Hall behind the girls. Remus and Peter sat at the table chatting and greeted us as we joined them. Tux took his normal spot under the table and I poured myself a nice hot cup of coffee. As I put the carafe down, the collar of my large t-shirt slipped off my right shoulder. I sipped my coffee, letting my mind wander. 

I had had no luck in the library. I wasn’t sure how to subtly ask about books on Travelers without raising suspicions so I had wandered around, getting a feel for where everything was. By the time I had made it back to Remus’ hiding spot, it was time for dinner. 

Since I was still half asleep, I didn’t register James and Sirius joining us until Sirius’ shirt-clad shoulder brushed my bare one.

“Love, I hope you have something a little warmer than that. It’s colder than Merlin’s balls outside.” Sirius leaned across me to get the carafe and pour himself coffee. 

Frowning slightly, I looked at him confused. “You say the weirdest things.”

“Doesn’t make them any less true.” He winked, taking a sip from his mug.

“I’m still hurt that you are letting Padfoot teach you to fly,” James pouted like a five year old. 

“You have Head Boy things, Jaimy. Don’t be pissed at me cause you have responsibilities.” I ruffled his hair and he quickly swatted me away, trying to smooth it down.

“James, you’re making it worse.” Lily hadn’t even glanced up from her crossword. James immediately stopped, taking her advice to heart. Although now that she said something, he was staring at her with a dumbstruck look. “And besides, Sirius is better at teaching things than you.”

James’ jaw dropped so fast, I was a surprised it didn’t just fall off. “He is not! I’m great at teaching things! Like - like -”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” I muttered into my mug. James shot me a glare and turned his attention back to Lily.

Sirius leaned in slightly closer to me. “Seriously though, love. It’s cold out today.”

“I lost my sweatshirt the other night when I went for a walk,” Shrugging, I took another sip before answering. “I’ll just steal something from James.”

“I have an extra jumper in the locker room, I’ll just grab it when I get my broom.” He shook his head at me.

“Have you really never been flying, Syd?” Marlene asked, spreading jam across her toast.

I shook my head, placing my mug down and began eating bacon that had magically shown up on my plate. “My family doesn’t fly much. My mom’s the only one who typically flies anywhere -” _in an airplane_ “-I’ve only been once.” To Florida. I sipped more coffee to settle my nerves.

“Where does your mum fly? Is it for work?” Marlene and I had gained the attention of most of the table at this point, they were not so subtly eavesdropping. 

“Uh, no. To visit my grandma. She lives alone in Florida so my mom goes down about twice a year to check on her.” James looked over at me with a strange look. Shit. My mom was supposed to be James’ dad’s sister so they would have the same mother and we would have the same grandmother. I had no idea if the woman was alive but had a feeling she wasn’t by the look James gave me. Quickly, I corrected myself. “My dad’s mom. Her and my mom are pretty close and my dad can’t get off of work enough to go visit her himself so Mom goes.”

And now I was babbling. I needed to divert the focus off of me _fast_. I was way too tired and needed at least 3 more cups of coffee before I could deal with this. “Hey, Lily?”

The redhead tore her gaze away from the crossword in front of her to meet my eyes. “Can I read that when you’re done?”

“Sure. It might take me a while though, this crossword is harder than normal. Can I give it to you tonight?” She asked.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.” Abrupt subject change completed, the others went back to the previous conversations as if nothing had happened. I gobbled down the rest of my breakfast which I didn’t remember putting on my plate. This insomnia thing was really starting to mess with me.

\---

He was right, God damn it. It was colder than Merlin’s balls. I gratefully pulled his sweatshirt over my t-shirt. The scent of wood and leather reached me and I decided he was never getting this sweatshirt back. It was mine forever. Sirius’ voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Hop on, Syd.” Sirius waited on the levitating broom. I looked at the back of the broom where I was supposed to sit and then to his face.

“Can’t I just _watch_ you first?” I took a step back, resting my hand on Tux’s head.

“I want you to feel how I move the broom. The best way to learn is by watching an expert then copying them.” He gestured behind him. “Come on.”

“It’s just...” Biting my lip, I glanced at where I was supposed to sit then looked back at him. “If I fall off, it’s a long way down.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at my objection. “You think I’d let you fall?”

“You wouldn’t _let_ me, it would just happen.” I replied quickly. Nervously, I picked at the skin on my lip. I _wasn’t_ afraid of heights but I’d be literally sitting on a _stick_ high in the air. I didn’t have much confidence in the broom holding me _and_ Sirius up.

He held out a hand to me patiently, meeting my eyes steadily. “Do you trust me?”

“I - yes, I trust you.” A little too much and that might be the issue with you, Sirius Black. I’d known this boy a totally of 6 days (I wasn’t counting when we first met, we didn’t actually know each other that day I stumbled into the Hall) and already, I would trust this guy with my life. _Literally_ , considering I was about to let him fly me hundreds of feet in the air _on a broom_.

He smiled widely, leaning forward to grasp the hand on Tux’s head. Pulling me gently, I let him lead me a few steps toward him. When I stood next to him, only a few inches from him, he said softly, “I will _not_ let you fall. Ever.”

What could I possibly say to something like _that?_ Jesus, this boy was good. I nodded, sighing in resignation to my fate. Steadying myself with a hand on his shoulder, I swung my right leg over the broom and sat down. He moved my arms so they were wrapped around his waist. 

“Ready?” He looked over his shoulder at me with a smirk. 

“I gu -” I gasped as he pushed off the ground and grasped tightly onto his ribs. Burying my face against the back of neck, I tried to take deep breaths to avoid hyperventilating. Wind whipped against my head, pulling strands out of the ponytail.

“Love, you’re going to need to keep your eyes open if you’re flying.” Sirius sounded amused at my terror. I squeezed him harder as I peeked over his shoulder and gasped again.

We were flying above the Quidditch pitch and it was _beautiful_. I can’t...I can’t truly described the feeling of flying but it was incredible. High in the air, the world looked slightly smaller but just _more_. I could see the lake in the distance and mountains on the horizon. We hovered in the air as I took in our surroundings.

“What you think?” Sirius asked quietly.

“It’s - _Sirius,_ it’s amazing.” I breathed out. I saw him smile at my reaction and couldn’t help but grin back. He tilted towards the left and the broom followed his movements. I had relaxed slightly while taking in the scenery and the motion had me clinging tightly to him again. I could feel him laughing at me, the bastard.

“Just feel how I move on the broom and how the broom moves when I move,” He shifted his weight forward slightly and we began to sink. “See how I shifted myself forward and we moved down?”

“And you tilted to the left a minute ago,” I replied, feeling a little more comfortable with our movements. “So we moved to the left.”

“Right,” He leaned backwards and I followed him as his back brushed my chest. “Now we go up.” 

“This isn’t as hard as I thought,” I mused, relaxing my grip a little. My arms were still wrapped tightly around him but I didn’t have him in a death grip anymore.

“And if we flatten ourselves to the broom...” He leveled himself with the broom and before I could react, the broom sped up.

“Sirius!” My grip tightened again as he laughed, the wind blow his hair back gracefully. I moved myself closer to him, not wanting the full force of the wind in my face. He turned us towards the right and I could see the castle getting closer. _Too_ close.

Before we flew straight into one of the towers, Sirius pulled up and we soared inches from the stone. Moving faster than I could imagine, he brought us back to the Quidditch Pitch and landed gently on the grass. Breathing heavily, I clung to him, my body refusing to move. Sirius cleared his throat. “You ok, love?”

“Define...ok.” I gasped.

“Merlin, Padfoot. Were you trying to give her a heart attack?” A stern voice said next to us. Turning slowly, I found Remus and Peter sitting on the grass with Tux curled up next to Remus. Remus was eyeing me with worry. “You ok, Syd?”

I nodded, unable to form anymore words yet. Shakily, I unwrapped my arms from Sirius’ waist then swung my leg over the broom. As my feet touched the ground and I put my whole weight on them, my legs gave out and I almost collapsed. Except Sirius caught me swiftly, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me towards him. “Sorry, love.”

“Fine. I’m fine. Just - warning would be nice next time.” I held onto his arm, leaning against him, and waited for my legs to stop shaking. Sirius chuckled and I felt his chest move with the laughter.

“Glad to hear there will be a next time.” He murmured next to my ear. I blushed, realizing how close we were and gently stood on my own, escaping his grasp. “How about we have you try flying her tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow might be too soon.” I sat down on the grass, grateful to be on land again. Sirius joined us on the ground, lying on his side. “How bout you all just _explain_ Quidditch to me? Here. On the grass. No flying.”

I know what Quidditch is. There was no possible way to read the books or watch the movies _without_ knowing what it was. But I didn’t know the finer points of Quidditch, never bothered to learn or remember how the points were scored. The boys began explaining the rules in detail. Well, mostly Remus and Sirius. Peter was relatively quiet during their explanation. Seems that even though Remus didn’t play on the team, most likely due to his furry little problem, he was an avid fan and helped James and Sirius with their plays. During this, Sirius had run to the locker room to put his broom away. Remus continued my lesson while he was gone. Around two hour later, I felt like I had a better grip on the game.

“So,” I pointed at Sirius. “You’re a Beater. You wack the Bludgers at the other team to knock them off their brooms or the Quaffle out of their hands.”

Sirius nodded encouragingly. “Yes, and James is...?”

“Chaser. He gets the Quaffle into the goal to score points.” Sirius seemed pleased with my answer so I figured I got that one right. “And whoever gets the most points wins.”

Remus smiled at me, scratching Tux behind the ears. The mutt was practically in his lap at this point. “You’ve got the idea. Though to be honest, just talking about it doesn’t do it justice.”

“It sounds pretty violent from what you’ve both told me.” I stretched my arms above my head, moving my head from side to side, hearing the crick in my neck pop. Sighing, I put my hands back in my lap and glanced at my watch. “Do you guys want to head in? I’m starving.”

“You’re always starving, love.” Sirius pushed himself up then held a hand out to me. Grasping it tightly, he pulled me up so I was standing next to him. I pouted at the self-satisfied look on his face.

“Am not.” We began heading up to the castle, Tux ahead of us. “I just don’t like breakfast so I don’t eat a lot then and by lunch, I’m hungry.”

“How can you not like breakfast, Syd? It’s the best meal,” Remus asked from my right side.

I shrugged at him. “I just don’t. I’d rather have dinner foods over breakfast foods.”

Sirius groaned dramatically. “But breakfast! The eggs, the sausage, the muffins, the _coffee._ ”

“I can technically have coffee any time, I just have an unbreakable habit of having it first thing.” I pointed at him with my finger, trying to make a point.

“Coffee, and tea, go better with breakfast foods,” Remus argued. Jeez, these boys were persistent. “You can’t deny that.”

Reluctantly, I nodded. “Coffee is pretty good with pancakes.” 

“Pancakes? They’re not a very filling breakfast.” Peter piped up, looking confused.

We sat down at the Gryffindor table but instead of Peter on Sirius’ other side, he sat next to Remus to even out our small group. I squinted my eyes a little at him. “Pancakes are not thin. They’re at least a few centimeters thick. The best are the ones that fill the whole pan and about an inch thick.”

“Love, I don’t think you’ve had pancakes the right way.” Sirius poured himself pumpkin juice and grabbed a sandwich for himself.

“Maybe _you_ guys haven’t had them the right way.” I crossed my arms and glared at him.

“What are we fighting about?” James asked, plopping himself next to me. Lily joined us and sat next to Remus.

“Pancakes.” Sirius and I answered simultaneously. He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. I shot him another glare.

“Oh, Mum makes great pancakes.” James said with enthusiasm. “No idea how she gets them so thin -”

“Ah!” I threw my hands up in frustration. Remus and Sirius traded amused looks. “Pancakes are _not_ thin. Waffles could be considered thin. Pancakes are not thin.”

The group was silent for a moment before Peter spoke. “What’s a qwaffle?”

My jaw dropped. These poor, poor Brits. They had no _idea_ what they were missing out on. “You don’t - what kind of place _is_ this?”

“A place without thick pancakes and wafnles.” Sirius declared.

“I’m making you all pancakes and waffles,” I poked my finger at each of them, Sirius in particular. “I don’t know how or when but I am making you all pancakes and waffles. You’ve all been deprived of the best breakfast foods.”

Chuckling, Sirius patted my shoulder mockingly. “Whatever you say, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'pancakes' the boys are talking about are what I googled on British pancakes and they look like crepes. And waffles are typically the frozen kind? I live in the US so if I'm wrong on this, my bad. If I'm right though, please come to visit (when it's safe to travel) and get all the fluffy pancakes and waffles that you can. 
> 
> I'm a pancake kind of girl. Pancakes any time, any day ;)
> 
> Just some fluff for the moment, I promise I have so many things to pack into this but I'm actually trying to space it correctly bc I'm a nutter as dear Jaimy would say.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos! I'm so excited you guys like and I'm having fun writing it. Hope everyone is safe and healthy.


	9. Black Dog

We had spent the rest of Saturday and Sunday lounging around or working on homework. I managed to escape a flying lesson on Sunday but just barely. Sirius had taken one look at my Potions essay and been so appalled at it that he spent the rest of the day re-explaining Veritaserum to me and helping rewrite it. I might be _neurotic_ at writing notes, as he so kindly put it, but that didn’t mean I understood what I was writing. And for someone who acted as though he wasn’t interested in schoolwork or even graduating, he was pretty adamant about _my_ work being correct. 

Everyone had managed to complete all of their work by Sunday night except for me. As I finished up my Transfiguration essay, Lily and Remus were reading and the rest were loudly playing Exploding Snap. I had to take a minute to control myself as I watched all of them. 

Thinking about last night, I started to get choked up again. It was such a _normal_ evening. How many of these would they have left? Once they graduated, they were stepping into a war. I wasn’t full of myself, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop a entire war before graduation but...they deserved nights like this all the time.

It was Monday though and the thought of the week’s worth of homework I’d be getting made me exhausted. Stepping out of the shower, I wrung out my hair, using my towel to scrunch it dry. Lily turned towards me and gasped loudly. “Oh, Merlin!”

“What?” I looked around, not knowing what she was staring at with horror. I spun back towards her. “What is it?”

“Your - oh, Syd.” Her hand covered her mouth and she seemed in shock. “I’m going to kill those boys.”

“Lily, _what?_ ” She gestured towards the mirror. I stepped closer and found myself staring at a pink haired girl. What the - “ _Oh._ ”

It was _me_. I had _pink_ hair. Leaning closer to my reflection, I ran my fingers through the neon pink strands. Lily came up next to me and began to console me. “I can figure out a potion to get rid of it. Remus probably knows what they used. It shouldn’t take -”

“Lily,” She continued to work out how she would revert my hair back to its dark brown color but I stopped her with a hand on her arm. She sputtered to a stop, confused by the grin on my face. “It’s ok. I _love_ it.”

“You _what?_ ” She screeched, jaw dropping.

“I mean, I would’ve picked blue or purple instead of pink.” I ran a hand through my hair again, admiring it in the mirror. “But it’s great! My hair _never_ looks this good when I color it.”

“But - but -” Uh oh. I think I broke Lily. It was true though. My hair was so dark it took _hours_ for me to lighten it when I dyed it last year. Then when I finally got it light enough, the purple hadn’t turned out the way I wanted it to. _This_ was the best color job I’ve ever _had_. It looked as if my natural color was pink.

I finished getting ready for the day as Lily continued to stare at me. Running my wand over my head, I used a drying spell to quickly dry my hair then brushed it out and pulled the long pink strands into a ponytail. I had watched Marlene do the spell last week and found it easy to replicate. Poking Lily, she jumped then faced me. “You actually like it?”

“Yes,” She shook her head in disbelief. Sighing, I pulled her towards our room. “Let’s head to breakfast.”

\---

James and Sirius glanced at each other again. Remus sat in his armchair, turning a page in his book and Peter watched James and Sirius from the couch.

“We should’ve heard something by now.” James paced back and forth. This was their first prank on his cousin and although it was a small time prank, they weren’t sure how Syd would take a prank being pulled on her.

“Maybe she didn’t shower,” Sirius suggested, eyes glued to the staircase. “Or didn’t shampoo.”

“Girls always shampoo, mate. That’s why we put it in there.” James continued his pacing. “Alice said she was up and in there, so -”

The sound of footsteps reached them and they turned to stare at each other before whipping their heads around to see Lily, Tux, and a pink-haired Sydney enter the common room.

Sydney smiled at them. “Hey, guys. Why aren’t you at breakfast?”

“We - you - what?” James sputtered, completely lost as to Syd’s reaction. Sirius’ jaw was just hanging open as he stared at her. “But - hair -”

“Oh, Remus? Did you make the potion for this?” Syd had turned towards Remus who had his book laying open in his lap, completely forgotten as he stared at the girl talking to him. She gestured to the bright ponytail on her head. “Any chance you could do it in purple?”

“Purple?” Sirius whispered in shock. Syd wasn’t mad. She _liked_ it. James couldn’t form a coherent thought. Sydney. _Liked_ her now pink hair.

“Yes, purple. I mean pink is nice but I’ve always wanted to dye it purple.” She looked between all of them, amused. Tilting her head, she readjusted the sleeve of her button down so it was rolled about halfway up her forearm. “Soooo are we going to eat or stare at me all day? I want to get at least two cups of coffee before Potions.”

When no one answered her, she sighed and grabbed Lily’s hand to pull her along behind her. The portrait door swung shut loudly and the boys traded glances. 

“Prongs,” Sirius met James’ eyes with a serious look. “I am marrying your cousin. End of story.”

\---

I pulled out the Prophet from yesterday, glancing over the headlines. Lily had given me Saturday’s but I hadn’t seen anything strange in it. Yesterday, I asked for the paper again and after she finished the crossword, I had found it lying on my bed before going to sleep. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for but just had this feeling that I would know it when I saw it.

_Appleby Arrows crush Holyhead Harpies-_

_Second Break-In at Gringotts Stumps Employees-_

Hmmm. Now this was interesting -

“Ms. Rose! What in Merlin’s name happened to your _head?_ ” McGonagall gasped above me. I tilted my head backwards to meet her gaze upside down.

“Hi, Professor.” I said nonchalantly. Her wide eyes were fixated on my hair. “Do you like it? James and Sirius thought pink was more my color.”

Said boys whipped their heads around to look at the professor with scared faces. I grinned then maneuvered myself so my back was facing Sirius and a leg was resting bent on the bench. I faced McGonagall, unable to hide my glee. “I thought purple would’ve been better.”

Recovering faster than I thought she could, McGonagall raised an eyebrow and looked between Sirius and James. “Red would’ve been more appropriate. Ten points from Gryffindor. And Ms. Rose, I expect something more clever than a bright hair color from you.”

With that, she turned and proceeded up the aisle to the professor’s table. I turned with wide eyes to Remus, Lily, Marlene, and Alice across from me. Remus’ face slowly drained of color. “Did she just - do I have permission to get you all _back?_ ”

Lily nodded in shock then gave a conspiring grin. “Hey, Syd, want to head to Potions?”

Sirius and James swung their heads to look between the two of us with pale faces. I bit my lip as they truly registered the hole they just dug themselves. “Let’s.”

\---

I figured that my bright pink hair had been seen by everyone in the Great Hall but apparently some people missed it. Like Severus. Who took me in with wide eyes as he entered the classroom. His books dropped from his hands as he sat and just stared at me.

“What happened to _you?_ ” Sev asked in shock. Honestly, I was a little surprised by his reaction. He hadn’t been particularly talkative the last two classes and him initiating the conversation threw me.

I cocked an eyebrow at the idiocy of his question. “Do you _know_ who I’m related to?”

He still stared at my head, pointing at the two geniuses without looking. “They’re still alive. You let them live after doing _that_ to you?”

“Actually, I like it. I wouldn’t have chosen pink myself but -”

“You _like_ it?” He hissed dramatically. Slughorn began the lesson at the front of the room, instructing us on the way to brew the Veritaserum antidote. “They -”

“You don’t like it?” I asked quietly, tilting my head at him. I watched him as he struggled for an answer that wouldn’t piss me off and had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. “I’ll take that as a no. It’s a good thing it’s my hair and not yours then.”

“It’s - uh - it’s unique.” His awkwardness was waaay too much fun.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get them back. They should have at _least_ asked what color I wanted.” I joked. The corner of his mouth turned up slightly. Did I just - was that almost a _smile?_ Hmm, seems like Severus Snape could actually get a joke. We quieted down and began to prepare making our potion.

I saw Lily glance back at us with a confused look before she turned to the front of the room. I knew Lily and Sev had a rocky past, mostly due to James’ crush on her and Sev’s jealousy but I didn’t know Lily’s actually feelings on the subject. That was something I’d have to talk to her about. 

\---

“Our topic for today will be Elvis Presley, a muggle singer and musician.” Quirrell was talking about _Elvis_. And he sounded _excited_. If this didn’t qualify as a mental breakdown, I don’t know what did. I should be committed if this is a coma and my brain managed to conjure this up. If this is _real_...I might have to acknowledge that Quirrell has good taste in music and _then_ commit myself because I couldn’t handle this level of normal coming from him. “Can anyone name one of his top songs from this year?”

No hands were raised. These people didn’t know _Elvis_. First pancakes, now Elvis. Good Lord, they had no idea what they were missing. Sighing, I put my up. Quirrell looked over at me with surprise. “Yes, Ms. Rose?”

“Way Down, although I like his earlier songs better,” I answered with a shrug. Have a mentioned my mom is an Elvis fan? I’ve woken up to Elvis every Sunday for the past 17 years. We’ve also been to Graceland three times. My mom’s love of Elvis only rivals my dad’s love of Dolly Parton. We’ve also been to Dolly World twice. And still haven’t been to Disney World. Clearly, my parents have their priorities straight.

Don’t tell Mom but I’d rather listen to Dolly than Elvis.

I leaned back in my chair and saw Sirius staring at me out of the corner of my eye. So I really don’t think I’m going to get away with trying to be a Pureblood with my Elvis knowledge. Half-blood it is. Quirrell raised one eyebrow at me impressed. “Favorite song, Ms. Rose?”

“Tie between A Little Less Conversation and Burning Love.” 

“Early 70’s? That’s only a few years ago,” Quirrell tapped his finger on his chin, watching me carefully. “Anything earlier?”

“You just asked favorite song, not my favorite earliest song,” I tilted my head at him, crossing my arms over my chest. “Overall, the 1958 Elvis’ Golden Records album was my favorite especially Hound Dog.”

“Good album,” Quirrell mused. Walking to the corner of the room, he began flipping through records. With a triumphant noise, he turned his back to us and a moment later, Hound Dog began playing at a low volume. “Elvis Presley was born in 1935...”

Tapping my quill to the music, I tuned out Quirrell’s lesson. There were so many things to think about while being here: not revealing the future, staying on top of my lessons, stopping Voldemort, trying to get home, destroying the horcruxes. And the list was getting longer. Quirrell switched the records and I could hear Almost in Love playing now. 

A few songs later, including A Little Less Conversation, I noticed the others packing up and turned to find Sirius watching me. “What?”

“You’ve hummed every single song that Quirrell played. I had no idea you liked Elvis that much.” He shook his head with a smirk.

Pulling my bag strap over my shoulder, I followed him out. “I wouldn’t say that I’m a huge fan. My mom is. I’ve heard all of his songs growing up, kind of a fan by default. I’d much rather listen to Dolly Parton or Queen.”

“I’ve heard of Queen but not Dolly Parton, I’ll have to listen to her.” We were silent for a moment as we made our way to dinner.

“So?” He looked at me confused. “Your favorite muggle singer or band?”

“Led Zeppelin,” The scoff escaped before I could help it and he squinted at me slightly, a little defensive. “What was that for?”

“Led Zeppelin. Why am I not surprised?” I shook my head with a grin. He watched me as we made it to the Great Hall and took our seats. I gave Tux a scratch on the head as I sat down. James had been bringing him down if I wasn’t in the common room before dinner. “Let me guess, your favorite song is Black Dog?”

Water sprayed across the table as James hacked out a lung next to me. Everyone turned to stare at him as he whacked his chest, trying to get the water out. Pointing at me, James gasped. “What did you just say?”

“I was guessing Sirius’ favorite song.” I said with a calm voice, as if I was talking to a wild animal. Glancing at Sirius, who had gone a few shades paler, I raised an eyebrow. When I checked on Peter and Remus, they had twin looks of wide eyed shock. “You’re all acting weird. Stop.”

Lily sighed, clearly only half paying attention to Alice and Marlene’s conversation. “It is. He plays it in the Common Room when we have parties then drunkenly tells everyone how it’s the song of his soul. Peter broke his record last year though so we haven’t heard it in a while.”

I shrugged, ignoring the boys. “It’s a great song. Probably my favorite Led Zeppelin song. I don’t see how it could be ‘the song of his soul’, the lyrics are eh but maybe the instrumentals?”

“Queen’s better. I got the A Day at the Races album and was playing Somebody to Love nonstop before school.” Lily smirked then took a bite of her salad.

“Lily Evans, you like Queen?! I pegged you as a Beatles girl.” Lily rolled her eyes at my comment. Damn, Lily was full of surprises.

“My _sister_ likes the Beatles, I’d much rather listen to Queen or Pink Floyd.”

“I think you and I are going to be _very_ good friends, Lily.” I grinned widely at her then squinted at her jokingly. “Did you go see Star Wars yet?”

Excitedly, she launched into her opinion on Star Wars. The boys just watched us with shock. Peter was the first one to break out of it to interrupt our conversation.

“How do you know so much about muggle things?” He asked skeptically. Marlene and Alice stopped their conversation to turn towards us. Damn it. “Lily’s muggle born, that makes sense. But aren’t you a Pureblood?”

I looked at him confused. “I never said I was a Pureblood.”

“But you’re Prong’s cousin. He’s a Pureblood so you’d be a Pureblood.” Peter pointed from James to me. 

“Just because we’re cousins doesn’t mean we’re both Purebloods. My dad’s a muggle -” and so is my mother but that wouldn’t really make sense if I was James’ cousin “- therefore, Halfblood.”

“Worm, she curses like a muggle sailor, of course she’s Halfblood.” Sirius pointed out, finally coming out of his catatonic state. 

“Fights like one too,” James muttered next to me. Remus snorted across the table and I glared half-heartedly at him.

“We get it, I do muggle things.”

“Did you go to Ilvermorny in the States, Syd?” Marlene asked excitedly. “I’ve heard the boys there are totally lush.”

I tilted my head at her, confused about the word. “Lush?”

“Good looking, attractive, etc.” Lily rolled her eyes at Marlene who winked back.

“Oh, I wouldn’t know. I was uh, homeschooled.” Yeah, when I was in _elementary_ school. It only lasted a few years before Mom and Dad gave up on the homeschooling with my cousins thing. Aunt Carrie used to be a teacher, started being a stay at home mom, got bored and offered to teach me, my sisters, and my cousins. It was a little too much family time. Only lasted two years, which is a miracle, before Amie stabbed her brother Adam in the arm with a pencil. “My parents wanted us close to home.”

“Wow, really? My mom can’t wait to ship me out by September.” Alice joked.

“Same, Mum packs our trunks August 1st and then threatens to send us back early if we touch them or if we break anything else in the house.” James took a big bite of his sandwich.

I shook my head at him. “Aunt Effie is a saint for putting up with you that long, I’d probably send you back a week into break if I were her.”

He glared at me, finishing his mouthful of food. “We should’ve made you bald instead of dying your head pink.”

I squinted my eyes back at him, trying to look threatening. Trying being the operative word. “Might not want to give me ideas, Jaimy. I still need to get you back for that.”

“Moons already did it,” James shuddered but Remus smiled at the memory. “Worst month _ever_. My head was not meant to be hairless.”

“You still looked better than me, Prongs.” Sirius grumbled.

“I need pictures. Rem tell me you have proof,” I begged the amused boy. He didn’t say a word but took a bite of his sandwich and winked at me. “Yessssss.”

“Moony, don’t. You promised that you would save them for Prong’s wedding to Lily.” Sirius pointed threateningly at his best mate.

A loud scoff came from the red head next to Remus. “Wedding? He’ll be lucky if manages to get one date with me.”

“So there’s the possibility of a date?” James had a hopeful look on his face. It was adorable. Until Lily crushed it.

“Not if you were the last person on Earth.” She said decisively. I knew that James had asked Lily out a lot. It was discussed a bit in the books about his infatuation and her stubbornness but seeing it person made me a little sad for James. He _really_ liked her. Anyone could see that.

His face didn’t show anything but there was just something...dejected about him at her words. I nudged him lightly and smirked. “What about at my wedding to Sirius?”

“Woah woah woah, since _when_ are you marrying Padfoot?” James gasped dramatically.

“We’ve been engaged for a week, Jaimy. Get it together.” An arm wrapped around my shoulder and I turned to see Sirius watching me with glee.

“Actually, love, _you_ never said yes. But now that I have your answer, winter wedding in the Potter’s backyard. There’s a beautiful forest behind their place. I’m thinking dark navy and gray for the colors -”

“Burgundy. Navy, gray, and burgundy. And fall or I’m calling it off.” He gaped at my interruption.

“But the snow! It would be -”

“Bloody hell. The two of you are unbelievable.” James groaned, dropping his head to the table. 

I innocently tilted my head. “I mean Rem and I could just get the pictures now -”

“NO!” Sirius and James screamed simultaneously. I raised an eyebrow at Remus who winked back. Excellent.

\---

Detention wasn’t as awful as it could’ve been. Filch had us rewriting his files that were damaged by the mold. It was boring but not terrible. It would’ve been more fun if Filch wasn’t leering over us for two hours while we wrote. The files were around 40 years old and had no relevance to us so I’m not really sure what he expected us to do to them. Besides give James and Sirius ideas. 

James, Sirius, and I had left with cramped hands and joined the others in the common room. I massaged my hand, trying to get feeling back into it. James was sprawled across Sirius and I on the couch, his head in my lap and his feet in Sirius’, telling everyone about our detention.

“- in a tutu! Pads, _think_ of the possibilities!” James exclaimed. I shook my head at his idiocy. I caught Lily shaking her head also as she read her book.

“Well, while you two try to recreate pranks from 40 years ago, _I’m_ going to bed. Double Transfiguration is going to kick my ass tomorrow.” I stood up abruptly, causing James to fall halfway off the couch, his foot whacking Sirius’ in the head.

Sirius rubbed his head, giving me an offended look. “Was that necessary, love?”

“Yes, hopefully it knocked some sense into your head.” I gave him a shit-eating grin. A hand around my ankle pulled hard and my ass met the ground with a thump. “James!”

“You tried to knock me out! I’m just returning the favor,” James grumbled, pushing himself to a sitting position. “Besides, we know you don’t sleep.”

“Well, I’m going to _try_ and sleep. Sooner or later, it does happen.” I argued, crossing my arms.

A sigh from behind me had me tilting my head back to see Lily. “If the two of you are done, I’ll go up with you, Syd. I can give you today’s Prophet if you want to read it before bed.”

“Thanks, Lils.” Hopping up, I subtly kicked Jaimy in the thigh and quickly followed Lily before he could get me. Tux stretched before trotting after us. We dropped our things on our beds then headed into the bathroom. Silently, we went about our routines until I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

I spit the toothpaste into the sink and wiped my mouth off. Lily was finishing putting moisturizer on her face when I looked over at her. “So what’s up with you and James?”

“Not a thing.” She said matter-of-factly, getting another dollop of the lotion. I leaned against the sink, crossing my arms and waited. She rolled her eyes at the mirror. “He thinks he’s in love with me. It’s nothing.”

“You know, I’m pretty sure he’s _actually_ in love with you.” I watched her to see if she’d have a reaction to that. Nothing. Hmmm.

She sighed, packing away her toiletries. “After 7 years of him acting like a prat, I doubt he’s ‘actually’ in love with me.”

Man, she was stubborn. “Ok, ignoring the fact that he _is_ in love with you then, how do _you_ feel about him?”

She began listing off things with her fingers. “He’s selfish, entitled, full of himself, terrible at pick up lines, obsessed with Quidditch which is annoying, -”

“You’re being serious right now?” I was confused. I hadn’t seen _any_ of that in James, I mean besides the Quidditch thing.

“Yes.” She whirled to face me and copied the position I was in. Uh oh. “Speaking of Sirius, what is going on with _you two?_ ”

I raised one eyebrow at her. Hmm, changing the subject to focus on me. Interesting. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t? Because he can’t seem to be more than a foot from you at any given moment.” 

I scoffed at her observation. “We’re in every class together and my cousin is his best friend. If he wasn’t up my ass, I’d be surprised.”

“And _that’s_ the only reason he’s been all over you?” Her skepticism was strong. “How do _you_ feel about him?”

I thought about it for a moment, biting my bottom lip. Sirius was...thoughtful and kind and a bit conceited but overall, he was exactly what I thought of when I pictured who I wanted to be with. The immediate comfort I felt since I met him was surprising but he just _felt_ right. “I’m not sure.”

Lily gave me a _Really?_ look. I waved a hand at her, trying to put my thoughts into words. “I’ve known him a little over a week. It’s too early to say I’m into him. Am I attracted to him? Of course I am, I’d have to be blind to not be but...I don’t _actually_ know him. Not enough to know how I feel about him. People don’t just fall in love at first sight.”

“Try telling that to James.” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head a little. “He’s been saying it was love at first sight for years.”

“Ok, I told you how I feel about Sirius. Now it’s your turn.” She opened her mouth to protest but I cut her off. “I’m only asking because I think you’re hurting him every time you reject him.”

“What?!” Lily seemed truly shocked. Maybe she was. If she convinced herself that James was just messing with her then she probably couldn’t trust to him to genuinely ask her out.

“I didn’t know James before I got here. I’ve only known him a little over a week, just like Sirius, but I think he really does care about you. If you don’t like him, I get it,” I held up my hands in surrender. “I’m not going to give you shit for not liking him or try to convince you to date him. That’s totally up to you. But if you like him a little bit, even as a friend, you might want to ease up on him.”

She looked down at the floor, rubbing her forearm. Sighing, she looked back up at me. “I don’t know how I feel about him, Syd. What if this is just some big prank he’s been trying to pull off for years? I don’t want to be a joke, I want someone to like me for me.”

“I’ll kill him for you then,” She laughed at my response. “Oh, no, I’m dead serious. If he tries to pull shit like that, I’ll put his ass in the ground.”

“I believe you.” Her smile was grateful. She knew I had her back if she took the chance to date James. James could be my fake cousin or my real cousin but Lord help the boy if this _was_ a prank. _Nothing_ would save him from me. “I’ll try to not be so -”

“Harsh?”

“Yeah. I’ll lighten up a little.” We headed to bed and I laid there thinking about the two of them. I knew they were destined to be together. It was fate. But getting them together but be tougher than I thought.

\---

I was right. Transfiguration _was_ kicking my ass. We had moved from reviewing animal related transfigurations to defensive and offensive transfiguration spells. Luckily, that potion I had taken when I first got here had helped with my spell knowledge. The spells were _there_ in my brain, I had no trouble thinking of some of them, like _Lumos_ the other night. Others I struggled with like _Meteolojinx Recanto_ last week. It was a hit or miss but I was grateful that the potion had helped. It would be one thing for me to not know how to fly but an entirely _other_ issue if I didn’t know how to do basic spells.

The lesson finished up and we packed away our things, heading out the door with the Hufflepuffs. One dark haired Hufflepuff knocked into my shoulder and shot me a glare before joining her friends to giggle and glance over at me. I mean, _clearly_ they were talking about me but I couldn’t figure why. I had only been there a few days, there wasn’t anything -

A heavy arm wrapped around my shoulder and I looked up to see Sirius smiling down at me. “Come on, love. Everyone else already headed out.”

I glanced around to see he was right, the others had started down the hall but Sirius had seen I was out of it, grabbing me before I was left behind. As we passed the Hufflepuffs, I looked back at Sirius curiously. “Do you know those girls?”

“I know _everyone_ , love.” He raised an eyebrow at the obvious answer to my question. Which I realized after a moment _was_ dumb. He’d been going to school with the same people for the last seven years, of _course_ he’d know who they were.

“Yeah but do they not like you? Every time I look over they’re glaring.” He turned to see what I was talking about but the girls had started smiling coyly at him. He winked and the girls fell into a pile of giggles. Nudging him, he turned back to me.

“Nope, they love me. Maybe you’re seeing things,” Sirius ran his other hand through his hair.

“Uh huh,” Maybe Lily was on to something. If the girls were treating me like this then maybe Sirius _was_ into me. I was telling Lily the truth last night though, I didn’t know how I felt about Sirius. Attracted to Sirius? God yes. Feelings? ...maybe. And that was too scary to think about.

\---

I folded the Prophet from this morning and placed it on the coffee table in disappointment. Nothing. I’d read it once then rescanned it to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. The Gringotts break in the other day seemed important. I had cut out the article and put it into my trunk. If I could get a notebook to keep weird things like that in then maybe I could make sense of what I thought I was seeing. Running my hands through my hair, I sighed and leaned back in frustration.

Detention earlier had been exactly like yesterday’s. Boring as hell and my hand was cramped _again_. We’d come back and done homework with the others but just like almost every night I’d been here, I couldn’t sleep.

And the possibility of liking Sirius had been eating at me all day. I _couldn’t_ like Sirius. Or well, I could but I couldn’t do anything about it. I didn’t belong here and I had no idea when I was leaving. 

The thought of that made my stomach turned. I didn’t _want_ to leave. I liked it here. These people, this place, the magic. It was...it was as if I was actually meant to be here. And not in a save-the-future kind of be here but I _fit_. I fell into this lifestyle as if it was made for me. As I watched the flames dance, my eyes grew heavier and heavier. Finally, I passed out.

\---

James and Sirius stepped into the common room the next morning to see Sydney asleep on the couch. They tiptoed over and peered down at her. Tux hopped up and looked expectantly between the boys, hoping for one of them to pet him. Sirius obliged, scratching the dog’s head.

"We should probably wake her up." James whispered.

"Probably." Sirius replied. He leaned closer and poked her in the side. "Syyyyyyd."

No reaction. He poked her again and this time she flung her hand up before Sirius could move away. Her hand collided hard with his nose with a loud smack.

"AHH!!" Sirius screamed holding his nose. Sydney shot up and collided with Sirius' head. They both groaned as James collapsed to the ground laughing.

"Jesus, _what_ are you two doing?" She yelled and rubbed her head.

\---

"Waking you up. Merlin, I think you broke my nose!" Sirius yelled back, pulling one hand away to see if there was blood.

"Well, you gave me a concussion." I shot back angrily. I _hated_ being scared awake and he’d scared the _crap_ out of me. "Why are you getting me up so early?"

"It's not _that_ early. We actually got up later than normal." James pointed out. He had finally stopped laughing but was still gasping for breath. I face planted back into the pillow and groaned.

“Why?”

“Rain. Can’t run in the rain and I only make them practice in the rain on weekends. Otherwise we’d be late for classes just trying to get back up the grounds.” James sat on the coffee table.

"Ugh. Wake me back up in two hours." My voice came out slightly muffled.

"Come on. Up, up, up!" He yelled, starting to poke me again. I glared at him and he just smiled. “There’s coffee downstairs.”

"Are you always this chipper in the morning?" I growled at him. Tux nudged James’ hand looking for more attention.

"Yup. Now, come on." He said and pulled me up. As soon as James turned his back, I hopped on. His knees gave a little but he grabbed my legs quickly, keeping me from slipping off.

"You want me to come down, then you carry me." I muttered, hooking my head over his shoulder. He just laughed and made his way out of the portrait hole, Sirius beside us. I turned my head slightly to him, leaning my cheek against Jaimy’s shoulder. "How's your nose?"

"I think it's crooked." He claimed, uncovering his nose. It looked fine. A little red but there was nothing noticeably wrong with it.

"Hmm, nope. But I think I made your nose smaller."

"Are you saying my nose is big?!" He asked insulted. James laughed quietly at us.

"Yup. And hopefully, you learned your lesson." I grumbled sleepily. James deposited me onto the bench when we made it into the Hall. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned loudly before grabbing a mug. I squinted down at the full mug then glanced at Sirius who acted like he didn’t do anything.

“Thank you.” He grinned softly at my gratitude. Jesus, not liking Sirius was going to be harder than I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I'm not writing this then I'm on TikTok and NOT doing my homework which is still due whether I do it or not. Send help.
> 
> If you are on the TikTok just ... ttbret
> 
> sirussly is also an adorable Tonks
> 
> My phone says I average about 2 hours a day scrolling through TikToks...siriusly send help


	10. Next to Me

Wednesdays were becoming my favorite days. At least during the week. We had a late start, Care of Magical Creatures, Muggle Studies, and then we were done. At least Sirius and I were. I was enjoying Muggle Studies way more than I thought I would. It was interesting to see how wizards saw ordinary muggle things plus everything we were learning was 40 years old for me. It was wild to say the least.

Sirius and I were on the Quidditch Pitch. Alice, Marlene, and Peter were reading their futures in Divination while Lily, Remus, and James were in Ancient Runes. I was still really surprised James was in it.

“Really?” The shock clear in my tone.

“Really. Prongs started the class because of Lily, sure but once he was paying attention, he really liked it. Now he’s doing better than Remus _and_ Lily.” Sirius shook his head in disbelief. “Nutter.”

“Takes one to know one.” I winked. He rolled his eyes then got down to business.

“Ok, today you’ll be in front -”

“You really should buy me dinner first.” He raised one eyebrow at my interruption. I put my hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine, shutting up.”

“So you can try flying for yourself. If you get out of control, I can correct you so you don’t fling yourself off the broom.”

I squinted at him in mock anger. “You sound like that’s going to happen.”

“It could.” He shrugged with a smirk. “You’re not the most graceful person.”

I shoved his shoulder lightly, my mouth hanging open. “Asshole.”

He laughed, swinging his leg over the hovering broom. I hopped on in front of him. Sirius leaned closer so his chest was pressed to my back and he could see over my shoulder. “Ok, lean back a bit...”

I leaned into him and the broom began rising. In a slight panic, I leaned forward to balance myself out. The broom hovered a few feet off the ground. Breathing deeply, I tried again and leaned back into Sirius. We rose and once we were about 40 feet in the air, I stopped and balanced myself again. “Now, what?”

“Lean to the left or right like I did the other day.” It was slightly hard to concentrate with him _right there_. I took another deep breath to steady myself then leaned towards the right. The broom turned with me and we cruised forward and to the right before I leaned back and stopped us. “See? It’s just about knowing where you want to go.”

“I don’t know how you guys do this _and_ throw balls at each other.” I shook my head in disbelief.

“It’s like using your wand. After a while, it becomes second nature. How about we try to fly over the lake?” He pointed towards the water.

I leaned that way and we flew to it. Sirius spent the next hour pointing towards different places on the grounds that I flew us towards. It became easier the longer I did it and I felt more relaxed. That is until he had me try going faster.

“Woah!” Sirius wrapped his hand around my hand holding the broom and pulled up sharply as well as pulling my body up so I wasn’t leaning so heavily on the broom. We pulled up only a few feet from the ground and I gasped at the abrupt stop. “Love, try leaning just a _little_ bit forward next time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Will do.” One of my hands clutched his arm that was around my waist and I tried to slow my breath. Jesus, that was fast. “I think I’m done for today.”

“You sure? We can go for another -”

“Nope, I’m good.” Sirius chuckled behind me so I nudged him in the ribs. Slowly, _very_ slowly, I brought us to land on the ground. Luckily we were pretty close so I didn’t have to take us far. Gratefully, I swung my leg off the broom and collapsed onto the ground. Sirius followed suit, laying the broom on the grass next to us. I flopped down and groaned. “Everything hurts.”

I looked over to see Sirius laughing at me. “Love, it’s a _sport_. It’s supposed to hurt.”

I glared at him playfully. “I’ll show you hurt.”

He looked at me questioningly but before he could figure out what I meant, I pounced. Launching myself at him, I tackled Sirius then began to tickle him aggressively. My surprise attack worked, he struggled to push my hands away as he laughed hysterically. “S-stop.”

“Make me,” I challenged, tickling him on his rib cage. My legs were straddling him as he flailed around. In a quick movement, he wrapped one arm around my waist and flipped us. I was grateful I had changed into sweats before coming out to practice with him because if I was still in my skirt, this would be a _very_ unladylike situation.

He began tickling me back, I screamed in laughter as he hit every single ticklish part of me. In trying to squirm away, we’d flip positions and his legs now straddled mine. I couldn’t help but kick my feet in response to his attack. Pushing my hands against his chest futilely, he grabbed them and pinned them above my head. He stopped tickling me, both of us breathing heavily as we stared at one another. 

His dark hair hung around his face and I could see the tattoo peeking out from his collar, the one on his neck that was partially covered by the dog collar he wore most days. His eyes roamed my face but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, my own mind too focused on _him._

“I thought the two of you were supposed to be _flying_.” A dry voice said above us. We turned our heads to see Lily with her arms crossed and hip to the side with a raised eyebrow. James stood next to her with a similar look. Blushing, Sirius rolled off of me and stood up, reaching a hand down to pull me up.

Brushing myself off, I tried to defend myself. “We were -”

“Until Syd almost crashed us.” Sirius finished cheekily. I gasped and shoved his shoulder.

“I did _not_. Besides _you_ are supposed to be teaching _me_ so if it would be anyone’s fault we crashed it would be yours.”

“And almost crashing involves whatever _that_ was just now?” Lily pointed between us. I could feel my face heating up and avoided looking at Sirius.

Intent on changing the subject, I squinted at her. “What are the two of you doing out here? Don’t you have Runes? And where did you stash Remus?”

“He had to run to the library. _We_ were discussing Prefect duties when we thought we’d come find you for dinner.” James said, still looking between the two of us. “We’re going to head inside now though, we’ll see you in there.”

“But -” Lily protested. James carefully took her arm and steered her towards the doors.

I glanced over at Sirius who was looking at me. “That wasn’t awkward or anything.”

“Not the most awkward thing I’ve been caught doing.” He shrugged nonchalantly. I raised one eyebrow, waiting for the story. Sirius shook his head at me. “Nope, you have to buy _me_ dinner first if you want that story.”

\---

Thursday morning, the entire Gryffindor Tower was woken up simultaneously by a certain messy haired boy.

**“SYDNEY ROSE, GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE! OI DON’T HIT ME MOONY!”**

My eyes shot open and I pushed myself up to see the other girls staring at me. I met Lily’s eyes and smiled. “I have a feeling they took a shower.”

Lily giggled and threw a pillow at me. Alice and Marlene traded glances before watching us with worry. Alice spoke first. “What did you two do?”

“Why don’t you come down and see for yourself?” I flung the covers off and threw on Sirius’ sweatshirt. Tux yelped excitedly and followed me as I bounded down the stairs. I reached the bottom to find four very bedraggled boys waiting for me. Smiling as sweetly as I could, I asked. “You rang?”

“What. The. Bloody _hell_ , Syd?” James growled. Sirius looked devastated while Peter looked just confused and Remus slightly amused. “This is ridiculous.”

“But Jaimy dear, I thought you liked the color pink.” Mockingly, I pouted. The girls gathered behind me, Lily still giggling.

“ _This_ ,” James shook his head and pink glitter went _everywhere_. “is not ok.”

“I don’t know, Jaimy, I think it’s pretty good.” I couldn’t keep my laughter in after that. Lily joined me and we were laughing so hard, we ended up on the ground. I wiped a tear from my eye and looked up at them.

“You broke Padfoot!” James yelled dramatically. Looking closer, I realized Sirius hadn’t moved since I’d come down. His hand went to his hair before abruptly stopping. Oh, lord.

“You really shouldn’t dish it out if you can’t take it, Potter.” Lily said with an angelic smile. James gaped at her, realizing what happened.

“Lily, _no_. Not you!” The poor boy look betrayed.

“Oh, yes. Me.” She giggled then rolled back into me, knocking me over. I began laughing again as James ran a hand through his hair in agitation and glitter fell over his shoulders.

“Come on, mates, let’s head down.” Remus sighed, clapping James on the shoulder. He froze for a second then wiped his hand off on his shirt, glitter now all over his white shirt. Sighing again, he herded the other boys towards the portrait hole.

“W-we,” I giggled, trying to stand up. I didn’t make it. I fell back into Lily, still laughing. “We’ll see you down t-there.”

\---

Flitwick droned on, not caring if we were listening or not. I heard a soft groan of annoyance from three seats down and had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. I leaned back in my chair to see Sirius wiping glitter off of his parchment.

It was a silly prank, I admit, but it was _hilarious_ watching the boys try to do anything without getting glitter on it. All of their food had glitter in it, their clothes were _covered_ , and they left a trail of glitter in their wake. McGonagall had _winked_ at me when we passed the Transfiguration room earlier. _That_ is something I will hold onto for a _very_ long time.

The potion Lily created would wear off by tomorrow morning but for now, it was in full force and I was loving every second of it. Remus flung his hair out of his eyes and purple glitter fell over Peter who sat next him.

“Moony!” Peter hissed. When he went to move out of the way, it caused glitter to fall from _his_ hair and into his lap. A giggle escaped my lips so I turned away, trying to calm myself. Each of them had a different color, James pink, Remus purple, Peter blue, and Sirius gold. I had been debating between silver and gold for Sirius but the gold was shinier.

“You know Sirius is devastated that you messed with his hair.” Remus muttered to me. I turned back towards him and raised an eyebrow. “Why’d you do it?”

I rolled my eyes then checked to make sure Flitwick wasn’t paying attention. “You all should keep your hands out of your hair. It shows how much you care about how it looks.”

“You’re saying we’re all vain?” He didn’t seem offended but interested in why I had chosen my prank. “Sirius I can see but James, Peter, and I don’t have 12 different hair products in our showers.”

“James dyed my hair right? Assumed since I’m a girl, I’d be upset about my hair color being changed. Have you seen me fuss over my hair at all? You’re not as bad as James and Sirius but they _constantly_ run their hands through their hair.” I heard another groan from the table. This one was clearly James based on the tenor of the groan.

“Point taken.” Remus watched me for a moment, thinking hard over my answer. “How did you know which shampoo to use for Sirius?”

“I didn’t.” I smirked at him as his eyes widened with realization. “I put it into all of them.”

Remus chuckled quietly, writing down a point Flitwick just made about the Amplifying Charm. “Remind me to never piss you off.”

\---

Insomnia was going to kill me before Voldemort ever got the chance. I decided to wander around the school tonight, trying to get my bearings since I was _still_ getting lost. I had to be careful though, darting behind tapestries and ducking into empty classrooms to avoid professors and prefects.

As I strolled through an empty corridor, I thought I heard voices. Pausing, I listened closely for a moment. Definitely voices. Following the noise, tip-toeing closer, I peeked around the corner and froze for a moment.

Rodolphus and two other Slytherins had a young Ravenclaw girl cornered in the hall and I could hear what they were saying.

“- shouldn’t even have a wand, filthy Mudblood.” Rodolphus was at least twice the girl’s height. Tears streamed down her face as her eyes darting between her attackers. I couldn’t see her wand and assumed one of them had - oh there it was. About 2 feet away, abandoned on the ground.

“We should round up all the Mudbloods polluting our school, take care of them like those stupid Muggles killed today.” The boy who spoke laughed at himself, as if it were hilarious to casually suggest murdering people. He was the shortest one out of the bunch.

Quietly, I crept forward and grabbed her wand, pocketing it. The boys’ backs were facing me so I had the advantage. I made sure I was right behind them then said, “ _Expelliarmus_.”

Three wands landed in my hand and I didn’t even hesitate, I snatched each one and threw them across the hall. The Slytherins whipped around and gaped at me. The boy who had been laughing yelled first. “You crazy slag!”

I pointed my wand right at them. “Move an inch and I will hex you so bad, you’ll wish you were dead.”

Rodolphus scoffed and took a step forward, fists clenched. I flicked my wand, uttering the incantation I had read last night in my Transfiguration book. “ _Densaugeo_.”

The hex hit Rodolphus and immediately, his teeth grew at an alarming rate. His hands flew up to his mouth and he glared at me. “I’m not going to say it again, move and I will fuck you up.”

“We shouldn’t have to tolerate Mudbloods like _her_ ,” Spat the short boy. He threw a pointed finger at the girl. “Our kind -”

“Then leave.” I couldn’t believe this kid, trying to defend himself as if he were right. “No one is forcing you to go to this school. Get out then.”

“Purebloods were here first!” The third boy argued. I raised an eyebrow at his idiocy. “The Mudbloods should leave!”

“Do you have proof of that? Or was that just something Mummy and Daddy told you at bedtime?” The two boys looked at each other as Rodolphus continued to glare at me, his teeth now to his waist. “Hogwarts is for _all_ wizards and witches not just the assholes who think they’re better than everyone else.”

The shorter boy looked as if he was going to burst a blood vessel. “We are not arseholes! Who do you think you are?”

“A human being who doesn’t tolerate this kind of hate. I don’t judge people based on their blood, I judge them on their actions. You choose to act the way that you do. You choose to harass an innocent girl in a deserted hallway. Our actions, our words against others, they define who we are and what we stand for. End of story.” My hands were shaking as I talked, my anger at their prejudice causing my body to tremble. “Now get your friend to the Hospital Wing before you say something even stupider.”

The two boys looked to Rodolphus who nodded. They left quickly, one trying to gather their wands before I shot a spell at him. It missed but he yelped and fled with his posse. The young Ravenclaw was curled on the ground, her back against the wall, trying to catch her breath. I rushed over and ran a hand soothingly up and down her arm.

“Are you ok? Did they hurt you?” I checked her over but she seemed in one piece. I couldn’t be positive though since she was curled in on herself.

“F-f-fine. T-thank you,” She sobbed. I sat down next to her and she flung herself into my chest, wrapping her arms around my torso. Surprised, I hesitantly patted her back. After a moment, she pulled away and wiped her face off. 

I smiled softly at her then handed her her wand from my pocket. “Come on, let’s get you back to your dorm.”

She let me help her up and we began walking away from the direction the Slytherins had run. The girl was looking at her wand as we walked and I realized I didn’t know her name. “I’m Sydney, by the way.”

Flustered, she looked up at me and blurted. “I know. I mean, uh, well, everyone is talking about you.”

“Really? And what are they talking about?” I asked, somewhat amused at her blushing at my question.

“Just that you’re with Sirius.” She was watching me carefully. “The older Ravenclaw girls are upset because they wanted to date him.”

“Lucky for them, I’m not dating him.” Her eyes widened at my news. I rolled mine, so _this_ was what all the glaring was about. Although with a scene like earlier, I could see why people thought we were together. “We’re just friends.”

She nodded and bit her lip, looking down the hall and not at me, clearly shy still. I waited a moment before speaking. “So I’m Sydney and you’re...?”

“Oh! I’m Emmeline. Emmeline Vance.” My stomach dropped at the name. I had thought I didn’t remember everything from the books but as I kept living here and meeting more people and learning more about this time, I realized I remembered _way_ more than I initially thought. It was moments like these that blindsided me. Emmeline Vance would become part of the Order. She’d be murdered by Death Eaters during Harry’s time. Another person to add to my Save list. She was silent for a few minutes as I mentally panicked over her name. “Maybe I should just go home like they said. I’m terrible at magic, I’m failing Defense again and I don’t think -”

“Don’t you dare say that.” My tone harsher than I meant. She looked startled and I took a breath to calm myself. “You did absolutely nothing wrong back there and they had no right to talk to you like that. Never let anyone think you’re not good at something. _They_ are the ones who shouldn’t be here. And fuck Professor Brogan, he wouldn’t know how to teach a bird to fly.”

“But -”

“Sydney?” We turned to see Remus and a Hufflepuff behind us.

“Hey, Rem. What’s up?” I waited as they walked closer to us. 

Remus gave me a look. “Prefect patrol. What are _you_ doing out here? And Emmeline, you should be in your dorm.”

“I- I just wanted a snack. I m-missed dinner.” Emmeline replied quietly, looking down at the carpet and rubbing her forearm. I put an arm around her and looked at Remus.

“She had a run in with some Slytherins, I was just walking her back.”

His eyebrows furrowed at my words. “Who?”

I looked down at Emmeline who shrugged, scared to talk about who had harassed her. “Rodolphus was one but I don’t know the other two.”

“Rabastian and Evan.” Emmeline whispered. She looked up at Remus then blushed deeply. Hmm. Maybe she wasn’t scared to talk about the attack. Maybe she was being shy for _another_ reason. “They...they called me...”

I took over once I realized how upset she really was. “Something that made me want to feed them to the Squid. I can talk to you later about it if you guys want. I really think Emmeline should get to bed.”

“The Professors still might want to talk to you, Emmeline.” Emmeline nodded at Remus, not meeting his eyes.

The Hufflepuff looked at Remus with a raised eyebrow. “We need to report them as soon as possible. I don’t want them getting away with something like this again.”

Remus nodded at her then looked back to me. “Promise you’ll get back to the tower after you drop Emmeline off?”

“Rem -”

“Syd, _promise_ me you will go back.” He stared at me intently, waiting for my reply.

I held a hand up in defeat. “I promise. You do know I don’t try and find trouble, right?”

He and the Hufflepuff began to walk away. “Problem is that it seems to find _you_.”

Emmeline and I continued our walk. “So, Remus, huh?”

She whipped her head to stare wide eyed at me. Her blush now covering her neck. “W-what?”

“I get it. He’s pretty cute.” I smirked at her and she quickly looked down at the carpet. “You know, he’s also pretty good at Defense. I could see if he could help you out.”

“No!” She yelled then looked behind us to make sure he wasn’t lingering down the hall. “I- I, uh, no but thank you. I don’t want to bother him.”

“Ok. But the offer stands if you change your mind.” She gave me a grateful smile, stopping by a door at the top of the stairs we just climbed. The bronze eagle knocker seemed to be staring at us.

“Thanks. And thank you for helping me.” Emmeline shot forward and wrapped her arms around me, pinning my arms to my side in her hug.

I smiled at her as she stepped back. “I did what any person should do. And if you need help with anything, just ask. I mean it. Don’t let some dickbags get the best of you, prove them wrong and show them that you are meant to be here. Ok?”

“Yes. Thanks, Sydney.” I walked back down the staircase and made my way to the Gryffindor Tower like I promised Remus.

\---

We woke up to another rainy day. Sirius and James had actually slept in for once so when I made it down the stairs, they almost knocked me over. The girls, Remus, and Peter had already gone down to breakfast so it was just James, Sirius, and I with Tux ahead of us.

I had stayed up and waited for Remus to return from patrol the night before. Once he entered, he immediately grilled me on what happened. I told him exactly what had gone on and he stared at me in shock.

“Syd, you could have been seriously hurt.” Remus whispered harshly.

“I was _fine_ , Remus. I really wish you’d all start realizing that I can take care of myself.” I folded my arms across my chest.

Remus ran his hand through his hair, glitter falling over his shoulders but I couldn’t even smile at it. Our conversation was too serious for the prank from earlier. “They’re dangerous, Syd. You haven’t been here that long, you don’t know how horrible they can be.”

“I heard enough earlier.” Sighing, I pressed my lips together for a moment. I knew Remus was coming from a good place, that he was worried about me but I wasn’t the kind of person to just walk away from bullying and clear prejudice against someone else. “Don’t tell Sirius or James about this yet.”

He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You want me to lie to them?”

“No. Just...I don’t know. I don’t want them to over react.” I leaned my head against my hand, my arm propped on the sofa back.

“I can’t do that, Syd. They need to know what happened, especially James.” He was right. I just knew that they’d both cause a scene and I was trying to avoid that. “They’re going to find out and it’s better coming from you or me than one of the Slytherins.”

I groaned and put my hands over my face. “I know, I know.”

“Let’s just head to bed. We’ll deal with it in the morning.” Remus looked tired. More tired than me and that was saying something.

The boys hadn’t said anything to me on the way down but I doubted that Remus had kept quiet. They were trying to act normal but there was something off about them. I was grateful they hadn’t brought it up, I wanted to avoid a fight with both of them _and_ the Slytherins.

“You’re lucky it was only for a day!” I teased, ruffling James’ hair. “I tried to convince your Lilikins it should be for a week.”

“See? She does love me!” How James came to that conclusion was beyond me. Sirius and I cackled at his assumption and he just pouted as we walked down the hall.

Our laughter died as we entered the Great Hall though. The tension in the room was palpable. We made our way to the rest of the group and took our seats. Lily didn’t even say a word, she just handed me the Prophet.

_Largest Attack Yet: 20 Muggles Killed in Clifton_

I read quickly, Sirius and James at my shoulders. 20 muggles were killed in their homes by the Killing Curse. 6 men, 8 women, and 6 children including one baby who was 7 months old. My throat felt tight as I read. The Dark Mark was found floating above the houses, a picture smack dab in the middle of the Prophet. It was the 4th attack like this in the past 5 months, this one having the most murders.

“Bastards.” Sirius growled lowly. I turned to see his face. He was glaring at the Slytherins. He started to stand up, his eyes trained on the older group of Slytherins including the ones I had stood off with the night before. This wasn’t good. It was exactly what I had wanted to avoid.

“Come on,” I pulled his arm and he looked up at me surprised. Still angry but surprised at my tone. “ _Now_ , Sirius.”

Without another word, we strode out of the Hall. I looked over my shoulder to see James with his hand over his mouth, finishing the article. Steering Sirius towards the doors, we walked out into the cloudy day. The rain had let up for a moment and the breeze was chilly.

“Why did you do that?” Sirius had stopped walking and stared at me. Visibly shaking, his hands were in fists.

“Because you’re upset. I didn’t want you doing something rash,” I let my arms hang at my sides. Tux wandered the grass, sniffing everything in sight.

“Something rash,” Sirius scoffed. “Like bashing LeStrange’s smug face in? Hexing my brother into next week? They would bloody deserve it!”

“That’s not the point!” I yelled at him. He ran a hand through his hair, pacing. “Do you really think that if you start a fight in the Hall, it’s going to do anything?”

“It’ll make me feel better!” He shouted at me.

“This isn’t about _you!_ ” I argued. “This is about the Muggles who were killed for no _reason_. You can’t just punch every person who hates Muggles, Sirius! That won’t help the situation.”

“Then what will?” He demanded, pacing back and forth, his arms gesturing in his anger. “You didn’t grow up with these people, Syd! They aren’t going to stop. They think they’re right! They think that killing people is _fun_. Merlin, my cousin Bella used to talk about how she would put the Impervious Curse on random Muggles on the street and make them hurt themselves at _family dinners_. My mother _encouraged_ it! What is going to help those Muggles then, Syd?!”

“I don’t know. I don’t know how to help them but I do know that violence is not the answer.” He shot a heated look at me and I put my hands up in defense. “We need to stand with them, the ones here, the ones who are being hurt _here_. I know Remus told you about last night. _That_ is what we do. We help those that we can, when we can, in what ever way that we can.”

He had finally stopped pacing and I put my hand on his forearm, looking into his eyes. “They are _looking_ for a fight with you. You need to be better than them. You _are_ better than them because you _care_.”

“Syd, I’m _so_ angry. I can’t -” He looked at me desperately. “I can’t just sit by while they _do_ this to innocent people.”

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. I couldn’t understand what he grew up with, I couldn’t comprehend the strength it took to stand up to the people who raised you, I could only offer my empathy and desire to set things _right_. “I’m sorry.”

His arms held me tight against him, his face buried in my neck as he breathed heavily in frustration. Quietly, he asked. “What if they hurt _you?_ ”

“Sirius, I would rather be hurt because I was doing the right thing and standing up for everyone whatever their blood, race, gender, sexual preference, or religion is than be someone who _let_ that hatred happen right in front of me. I can’t change what’s happening in another country right this second but I can change what is happening _here_ and if I get hurt while doing it, so be it. I will get back up again.” I pulled back and looked at his face. Tears had escaped, just a few. “But we can’t cause the fight. We can’t give them the violence they’re looking for. We need to show them that we can win even if they try to hurt us.”

Sighing, he leaned his head against my shoulder. My hand went around the back of his neck in comfort, I leaned my head against his. “I’ll try. I can’t promise I won’t curse them but I will try not to.”

“Thank you.” I whispered, closing my eyes. I wasn’t expecting this. Something so much more than what I thought it was. This wasn’t just about stopping Voldemort from killing James and Lily. This was about the fight for _everyone_ to be who they were with no fear of being persecuted for their genetics. I knew for a fact that the future here would become worse and I _couldn't_ leave here without fighting for everyone's future, not just fighting for my friends' but for everyone who would be in danger. 

I had a disturbing thought though.

Rodolphus and the others _knew_ about the killings last night _before_ it was reported. _How_ had they known?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how to write this chapter to be honest. I wanted to bring prejudice in the HP universe up later, it's something I plan to focus more on later in the story. But with everything happening, it's hard not to bring prejudice into this story now.
> 
> Whoever you are, whatever your story is, wherever you are, I love you and support you.
> 
> Whatever your race, gender, sexual identity, or religion is, I love you and support you.
> 
> Whether you are a Gryffindor, a Hufflepuff, a Ravenclaw, or a Slytherin, I love you and support you.
> 
> Black lives matter.


	11. Make It Stronger

The day was subdued. Even Kettleburn seemed less enthusiastic than usual. The small bubble of protection from the outside world had been broken this morning and no one knew how to handle it.

“The Romanian Longhorn use their long and sparkly horns to gore and roast...” Kettleburn trailed off and stared out the window. The class traded concerned looks, unsure what to do. Sighing, the silver haired professor turned back to us. “I apologize. I’m unsettled by the events last night and it seems...inappropriate to talk about any type of death both natural and unnatural. Instead, I’d like have an open discussion with all of you. Whether it’s about creatures or about last night, I want all of you to know you can ask me anything.”

He settled himself on top of his desk, both legs swinging slightly. Everyone traded glances again, a little thrown off by the turn class had taken. Hesitantly, I raised my hand. “Yes, Ms. Rose?”

“How are you feeling?” It seemed like such a small question but the look on Kettleburn’s face showed how much it affected him. Exhaustion was evident in his eyes and the set of his shoulders.

“Tired, Ms. Rose. Tired of people who believe in something archaic and are too blinded by unfound hatred. How are you feeling, Ms. Rose?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.

I bit my lip, thinking for a moment. How _did_ I feel about this? “Upset that someone thought it was ok to do it. Sad for the people who are gone. I’m...scared. Scared for those I care about.”

He nodded at my words. “Understandable. I won’t dismiss your feelings about this. You should be scared. We all should. But we should also take time to learn about ourselves. Our feelings are what make us human. We should embrace them, the good and the bad. Outside of these walls, there are dangerous things happening. Enjoy the time with those here, embrace the life you have and don’t push those feelings away, _feel_ them. They are a part of you.”

He fell silent, letting us contemplate his words. The students sitting here had no idea what was in store for them. Looking around, it hit me again how much I _cared_ about these people. Not just from reading parts of their story but because of the time I’ve spent with them. Another hand rose and I turned to see James waiting for Kettleburn to call on him.

“Yes, Mr. Potter?”

“I don’t have a question, Professor. I just wanted to thank you.” James said with sincerity. “You’ve been with us since first year and you’ve made every class memorable. I can’t say that about every professor we’ve had -” A few laughs could be heard around the room. “but thank you for sharing your life with us and teaching us. I might not study dragons after Hogwarts -” Another round of laughs went around. “- but I hope I can inspire others the way you’ve inspired us.”

Kettleburn looked down, taking a deep breath. When he looked back up at James, there were tears in his eyes. “You will, James. I know you will.” Wiping his eyes, he waved us away. “Ok, out, the lot of you. Making me cry in my own bloody classroom, get your hooligan selves out of here.”

As we walked out, a few of our classmates patted James on the shoulder. It was surprising though when Lily pulled James back to talk to him for a moment. We continued down the hall but being the nosy friends we are, we couldn’t help stopping around the corner to spy on them.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Sirius whispered above me.

“Shut it, I can’t hear.” Marlene hissed.

I watched as James’ face lit up at Lily’s words. Somehow I don’t think it was our business to know what was said, it was for James and Lily to know. And it seemed like the beginning of something great. Smiling, I took a hold of Sirius and Remus’ arms then dragged them away. “Come on, you pervs. I’m not wasting a perfectly good free period spying on them. Let’s go.”

“Oi! Who you calling a perv?!” Sirius demanded as the rest followed us, letting Lily and James catch up on their own.

\---

We gathered up our bags as Brogan dismissed us. James walked to the front with Sirius to discuss something from last class’ homework with Brogan. 

Class had been an easy lesson on defensive hexes. It seemed like all of the professors, even Brogan, were going easy on us. As I reached down to grab a parchment which had decided to float away instead of staying in my bag, a leg knocked into my shoulder, sending me to the ground.

I caught myself, just barely saving my head from smashing into a desk. Looking up, I found Rodolphus glaring down at me. “Watch yourself, Mudblood lover.”

“Good to see you managed to get your teeth back to normal size, Dolphy.” He glared harder at the nickname. Seemed he was a bit sensitive after last night. I stood up, coming only to his shoulder, and crossed my arms. “How long did it take Pomfrey to make you stop looking like a rabbit?”

“You think you’re clever, don’t you, you little slag?” He growled, stepping closer to me.

“I don’t think I'm clever, I _know_ I’m clever.” I felt James and Sirius materialize next to me. 

“Is there a problem here?” James had a carefree stance but I could almost feel the tension rolling off of him. Sirius was a bigger issue though. His hand rested on the small of my back as he stood at my side. Rodolphus looked at the two of them before settling his angry gaze on me.

“This isn’t over. You’ll get what’s coming to you.” The Slytherin spat. He whirled away and stormed from the room.

I turned to the boys with crossed arms and raised eyebrow. “I had that under control.”

“Yes, you did but -” James looked slightly worried when I cut him off.

“You decided to be overbearing anyway?” I asked dryly.

“Syd -” Sirius started. I raised a hand to stop him.

“Thank you for not punching him.” The boys looked shocked at my words. I continued before either of them could stop me. “I’m serious -”

“No, that’s me.” James groaned next to Sirius, smacking himself in the forehead at the other boy’s joke.

“- _and_ I appreciate you not causing a fight. Thank you.” I had to give them both credit. They had every reason to knock Rodolphus on his ass, hell _I_ wanted to knock him on his ass. But they didn’t. We began walking out of the room and joined Peter and Remus who had been lingering out in the hall for us. Alice, Marlene, and Lily had already left for Herbology. “Now, how about we get our homework done so I can _actually_ enjoy Hogsmeade on Sunday?”

“I forgot it’ll be your first trip, Syd. We’ll take you to Zonko’s -” James threw his arm around my shoulders.

“Honeydukes -” Sirius threw his arm over James’ arms. I shoved them both off with a laugh.

When we got back to the common room, we’d tried to work but kept getting distracted. Giving up, they decided to try and teach me Exploding Snap. It was...interesting. The girls returned just as one card exploding in front of me, causing Tux to bark aggressively at it. Waving the smoke away, we cleaned up. Just as we finished, the girls joined us and we headed down to dinner together. When we entered the Hall, I caught sight of someone settling into her seat.

“I’ll be right back,” I headed down the end of the Ravenclaw table and sat next to a small dark haired girl. “Hey, Emmeline.”

Startled, she turned then smiled widely. “Hi, Sydney.”

“I just wanted to check in, see how you were.” I asked softly. The other girls around us were staring at me, it was a little unnerving.

“Good. I talk to Professor Flitwick earlier.” Emmeline looked down with a blush then met my eyes again. “About, uh, what you offered -”

“I’ll talk to Remus, he’ll be happy to help.” I smiled widely, glad she was taking my offer. It was a tiny bit presumptuous of me but I knew that Remus would help and Emmeline would never ask herself.

“What is Moony happy to help with?” A voice asked above me. Thumps joined us, Sirius on my side and James on the table on Emmeline’s other side.

I rolled my eyes at the intruders. “Tutoring. James Potter, tables are for glasses not asses. _Off._ ”

“Arse as in _he’s_ an arse or his actually arse? Cause I gotta say, Syd, the two of you are a little obsessed with each other. He says you’re lush the first day you’re here, you talk about his arse...” Sirius was leaning back, his feet out in the aisle with his arms resting on the table, a smirk on his face. “I thought _my_ family was the one with incest.”

“ _Bleh._ ” James pretending to puke as he slid off the table. “You have a disgusting mind, Pads.”

“Must be the incest. It affects his IQ.” I joked. Emmeline gave a small smile when I winked at her.

“Oi! I’ll have you know I’m as smart as I am beautiful.” He flung his hair from his face dramatically and I could hear sighs from the table around us.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” I patted his cheek mockingly. He caught it, holding it lightly.

“Actually the _best_ way to sleep at night is to _not_ sleep,” He winked suggestively at me and I pulled my hand away with an eye roll.

I turned to Emmeline, not bothering to respond to Sirius. “I’ll talk to Remus and get back to you.”

“What is Moons going to tutor you in? You know, I’m _ace_ at Runes and Defense.” James leaned closer to Emmeline who blushed at the attention. Sighing, I pushed myself up and grabbed hold of Sirius’ collar then James’ collar.

“Jesus, I can’t take you two _anywhere_.” I dragged them off the bench, Sirius stumbled a bit but righted himself, standing close to me. James untangled himself, straightening his collar. “Sorry, Emmeline. I swear they’re not normally so unruly.”

“Unruly? You insulted my intelligence! Again!” Sirius exclaimed. I pulled him away from the Ravenclaws and back towards our group, James walking around us. Sirius' hands ended up on my hips as he walked backwards and I steered him to the table by pushing his chest. It was a miracle we didn’t trip on our faces with how close we were.

“You were scaring children and implying Jaimy and I have incest. Why do you _think_ I questioned your intelligence?” I pushed him lightly and he sat down with a pout. “Unruly.”

“ _I_ could tutor Emmeline! I’ve got high marks, Moony isn’t the only smart one here.” James crossed his arms and pouted with Sirius. God, the two of them were worse than _children._

“That’s debatable.” Lily said smartly. James looked at her, his mouth gaping. “You wrote that Welsh Greens have red scales last week on your paper.”

“I think he got distracted by your hair, Lilikins. You shouldn’t use that against his intelligence.” I said with a smirk. James blushed, the red going down his neck at a fast rate.

“What does this have to do with Emmeline and me being smart?” Remus asked, taking a bite of his food.

“Emmeline isn’t doing great in Defense so I offered you to tutor her.” I explained. 

Remus thought for a moment then nodded. “James does have higher marks than me in Defense but I’d be happy to help.”

James punched the air then pointed at Remus. “See? I _am_ smart! Even Moony thinks so.”

“I’ve seen you walk into a wall on several occasions, smart is not the word I would use.” Remus pointed his fork at James, a smirk on his face.

“That was twice!” James yelled in defense.

“Four times.” Peter said from Sirius’ other side. James leaned forward to glare at the smaller boy. “Last year. It’s only been once so far this year.”

“Distracted by your hair again, Lils.” Sirius squinted at the redhead for a second. “Maybe you should shave it. It’s a Prongs liability.”

James gasped dramatically while Lily tried to burn a hole into Sirius with her glare. She held her knife threateningly in Sirius’ direction. “Try it and you’re never having kids.”

“I’ll hold him down, Lils.” Scary thing was, James actually would. I have no doubts about that. He was _obsessed_ with Lily’s hair. It was kinda cute and kinda psychotic. I really questioned his sanity though.

Rolling my eyes, I tried to get the conversation back on track. “ _Anyways,_ thank you, Rem. She’s a little shy so I think you’d be the best to help her out.”

Remus smiled at me sincerely. “Happy to help.”

The group fell into normal dinner chatter. Subdued but typically nonsense. It’d been a long day and talking more about the growing tensions within the school and outside it was not going to do anything more than cause problems.

I glanced up at the professor’s table to see Dumbledore watching me. I would need to talk to him again soon. I couldn’t keep sitting around while things went to shit around me. I _knew_ what was going to happen and the guilt of that started eating at me again.

The problem was, I didn’t know where to start.

\---

Rubbing my eyes, I put the Charms book on the table and leaned back against the couch. I figured that roaming the halls after I’d just made an enemy was probably not the best idea. So I read through my Charms book, seeing if I knew any of them from the potion I took when I first arrived. Some seemed familiar as soon as I saw them while others looked like a foreign language. I took a sip of the coffee I’d managed to sneak into the dorm earlier. A simple reheating spell had the day old coffee tasting just as good as fresh coffee.

Ok, that was pushing it but I hadn’t figured out where the kitchens were yet. I was desperate.

“Can’t sleep, love?” I jumped, spilling coffee down the front of my white t-shirt. Putting the mug down with a gasp, I shook as much of the coffee as I could onto the floor. “Bloody hell, sorry, love.”

Looking up, I found Sirius watching me worriedly. He seemed unsure of what to do. I pulled the hot, soaking wet shirt away from my chest, flapping it a little to try and get more liquid off of me. “Warning next time, _please._ ”

“Right, shite.” He pulled off his own shirt and handed it to me. My brain short-circuiting from the _very_ bare chest in front of me, I gave Sirius and said shirt a confused look. “So you uh, have a dry shirt on.”

“Thanks.” I carefully took the clean shirt and waited a moment then raised an eyebrow. He watched me before a blush crept over his cheeks. Quickly, he spun around so I could change. I ripped off the wet shirt, using the other dry side to mop up the coffee on my skin. Once I was dry, although reeking of coffee, I pulled on Sirius’ shirt. Looking down, I realized it was one of his old Quidditch shirts. It was worn and smelled like him, leather and forest. “You can turn around now. I’m decent.”

 _He_ wasn’t though. When turned back around, I was stunned once again by the vast amount of skin on display. Forcing myself to act normal, I sat back on the couch where he joined me. “I missed what you said. Did you ask me something?”

“I was wondering what you were doing up again. Can’t sleep?” He turned his body slightly so one leg was rest on the sofa and the other was on the floor.

I leaned against the couch back with a sigh. “No. You?”

“Not really. Been thinking.” Sirius had taken off the dog collar so I studied the tattoo on his neck for a moment. He raised an eyebrow at me. “What is it, love?”

“Your tattoo,” I moved closer to him, kneeling to try and get a better look. He obliged and tilted his neck so I could see the letters on left side of it. “What does it mean?”

He laughed at my question. I looked at him confused but I couldn’t help smiling at his laughter. “What?”

“I have no idea what it means.” He grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief.

I frowned, confused for a moment. “You got a tattoo and you have no idea what it is?”

“Prongs and I went out one night and got shitfaced in London.” Sirius ruffled his hair, fingers combing through the dark locks. “Stumbled into a tattoo shop and had Prongs pick the first one on the wall. It might be luck in Enochian? The whole night was a blur but it was...it was the first night out after I left my family. The first time I’d been really free to do what ever I wanted.”

He brushed his fingers against the tattoo with a small smile. My stomach felt as though lava was spreading from the center of it as I looked at him with that smile. _God,_ he was just beautiful.

“I’d love to get a tattoo. I have a whole sleeve planned out but my mother would kill me. I have to wait until I’m 18 before I can even _think_ of getting one.” I smiled softly, remembering my mom refusing to sign the waiver for a tattoo shop in town. I’d wanted to get one for my last birthday but she’d been adamant she wouldn’t condone the tattoo. “She thinks it would hurt my chances of getting a good job if I was covered in them.”

“Your family...you mentioned last week that your family doesn’t fly much,” Sirius paused and looked over at me. “I’m not trying to pry but you haven’t mentioned them much.”

“Your point?” I asked, curious if he would push it. Sooner or later I _was_ going to have to talk about them but...it was hard. I didn’t know if I’d ever see them again and that hadn’t registered yet. I was worried if I really talked about them that...I’d have to face the fact I may never go home.

“Are they -” He looked down awkwardly then back up to me. I raised my eyebrows at him, waiting for him to finish his thought. “Alive?”

Ah, that’s why he was acting so weird. “Yes, they’re alive.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes, Sirius waiting to see if I would elaborate. When I didn’t, he tried to prompt me to open up. “Did you want to talk about them?”

“Not trying to pry, huh?” I teased. A small blush crept over his cheeks and he nervously ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours.”

His head shot around and he looked shocked. “What?”

“ _You_ haven’t talked about your family either. I don’t even know if you have any siblings,” _Liar,_ my mind hissed at me. I didn’t like flat out lying to Sirius, it felt _wrong._ I started playing with a hangnail on my thumb, moving it back and forth with my pointer finger. “And my aunt and uncle talked about you as if you’re their son. James hasn’t explained that.”

Sighing, he focused on the fireplace instead of looking at me. “I moved in with James last summer. My family...they’re not good people.”

Pausing, he glanced over at me. I stayed silent, letting him tell me at his own pace. I knew pieces of his history but not details. He turned back to the fire. “Being from an old Pureblood family, my parents had a lot of expectations. I...I was groomed to be a perfect Pureblood heir. Fed loads of nonsense since I could crawl. It wasn’t until I was sorted into Gryffindor and became friends with James, Remus, and Peter that I learned...I learned that everything I grew up with was a lie. Muggle borns were just as good at magic as Purebloods, there was nothing _wrong_ with being friends with them or in James’ case, falling madly in love with them. It was...eye opening. My parents were...unhappy with my choice of friends, that I was in the _wrong_ house, that I had my own thoughts.”

He was silent for a moment, gazing into the fire intently. “Then my brother, Regulus, was sorted into Slytherin. Going home became a nightmare. I was constantly told how much better he was, how proud they were of him. That I could tolerate, it was harsh but tolerable.”

“So, you have a brother,” I said quietly. Sirius looked over at me and I gave him a soft smile then tried to lighten the mood a little. “I thought I saw someone who looked familiar the other day. Made me think I was crazy for a moment.”

It didn’t work. Sirius shook his head and glared at the fire in front of him. “He’s not my brother anymore. James is. I was blasted off the family tree when I ran away. I couldn’t...I couldn’t be there another second. Watching him become their perfect son, their disgusting views of the world, and the beat-” He stopped, clenching his fist. He opened his mouth, probably to try and replace the word he was going to say but I placed a hand over his fist and cut him off.

“They hurt you?” He met my eyes at the whispered question. The pain in them was... _God_ it hurt me. Seeing that pain in him, it made me want to beat the crap out of his parents. He nodded, turning his head to focus on my hand covering his. 

“It was only when I was being a shite. Or when I breathed,” He forced a chuckle out and my heart _broke_. Scooting closer, I wrapped my arms around his neck. It was slightly awkward since I was at an angle but I couldn’t help myself, I needed to hug him. For a moment, he froze, unsure of what to do. 

His arms wrapped around me slowly, turning his body so it was less of an awkward angle but now I was basically in his lap. Once his arms were around my back, I felt his hands clutch my sides, holding on tightly. He buried his face into the crook of my neck, breathing deeply. We sat like that, no words, just holding each other. I couldn’t fix his past but I _could_ fix his future. And god damn it, I _would_. He deserved more than a life of abuse and betrayal.

I felt him pulling back and unwrapped myself from him, settling myself on the couch but I didn’t move back to my original spot. I leaned against him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I have three sisters.”

“Hmmm?” I could feel it reverberate under my cheek.

“Shay, Hayley, and Jessa. My sisters. Hayley and Jessa are twins. Drive Shay and I nuts most of the time.” Sirius moved his thumb back and forth across the top of my hand, I hadn’t even realized we were holding hands until he did it. “So to answer your question earlier, they’re alive. My parents, too. Home in Virginia.”

“And you’re here.” Sirius added pointedly. I thought over my answer to that for a minute.

“I’m here,” I sighed. “I had to leave. To protect them.”

“From what?” He murmured. I watched his thumb moving over my hand, mesmerized.

“I can’t tell you.” It was a shitty answer but the truth. I _couldn’t_ tell him. And I also couldn’t lie to him about it. I pulled back and watched his face when he turned his head to look at me. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Love, I think I can handle it.” Sirius said softly. I shook my head, not meeting his eyes.

“Sirius, I left my _home_ because of this. I didn’t have a choice.” I glanced back up to him, staring into his gray eyes. “I couldn’t...if something happened to you because I told you, I couldn’t live with myself.”

“Ah, see? I knew you liked me.” A smirk graced his face, clearly trying to lighten the conversation.

“I’m serious.”

“No, _I’m_ Sirius.” I smacked his shoulder when he laughed at the overused joke. He caught my hand, bringing it back to his lap where he resumed rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. “So, you can’t tell me why you’re here or you’ll have to kill me -”

“ _Sirius,_ ” I protested but he continued on without pause.

“Can you tell me more about your family then? Your sisters?” He watched me with interest. I sighed, leaning against the back of the couch and proceeded to tell him about my sisters, my parents, and even Emmy. 

It was a relief in a way. I missed them so much but talking to Sirius about them made me feel better about it, as if they weren’t years and a plane of existence away but just an ocean away. He laughed at the antics of the twins, smiled when I told him about Sunday morning brunch, and asked about the car I had been helping my dad rebuild. He began telling me about pranks he and the Marauders had pulled over the years, James’ quest to win over Lily, and the Wampus kitten from Professor Kettleburn’s class fourth year. I couldn’t explain it, I knew Sirius for such a short amount of time but it felt as though we had known each other for years. The ease of our conversation was natural, flowing back and forth with no effort.

As if...as if we were supposed to be in each other’s lives. As if this was meant to be.

\---

Sunlight burned my eyelids as my brain woke up and I pulled the covers over my face. A deep voice in the room had my eyes springing open in confusion. Was that -

“Moony, have you seen my Charms book?” James whispered. I pulled the covers back to reveal James and Remus standing at the foot of James’ bed. What the hell? The boys turned and left the room, not even glancing in my direction, as if it was completely normal for me to here. I pushed myself up. Speaking of here, if _that_ was Jaimy’s bed then this was -

“Ooophmf.” I screamed and fell back on the bed as my foot met something warm on the floor and sound came out of it. Looking down, my eyes bugged out.

“Sirius?!” He looked up at me blearily and rubbed his eyes. He was laying on his back on the floor next to the bed. His chest was bare and a blanket covered the lower half of his body. I _really_ hoped he had pants on because I would probably combust if he wasn’t. “What are you doing down there? And why am _I_ here?”

Sirius yawned, stretching his arms over his head, pushing his bare chest up and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the view. This boy is going to give me a heart attack. He ran a hand through his hair, which _still_ looked perfect, and scratched the back of his neck. “You fell asleep on the couch. Figured you’d rather be in a bed than on that piece of shite so I carried you up.”

“Uh, thanks.” I mumbled, a blush burning on my cheeks. Looking down, I realized I was still wearing his shirt he’d given me last night. I really needed to stop stealing clothing or Sirius would be out of it. On second thought -

“We should head down to breakfast or Prongs’ll eat all the bacon again.” Sirius pushed himself up and grabbed a t-shirt from his open trunk, pulling it on. He _did_ have pants on, thank _God_. I honestly was having trouble breathing with only half of his body out in the open.

I really needed to get a grip.

Furrowing my brow, I frowned slightly. “Wait, shouldn’t you be at Quidditch?”

“Still raining, love.” He pointed to the window between his and James’ beds. Rain pounded the window pane, shaking the glass slightly. “The pitch will be a mess from the last few days. Even Prongs isn’t _that_ mad.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.” I mumbled, getting out of the comfortable bed to follow Sirius.

We made our way down to the Great Hall. It was Saturday which meant we had the entire day to do our homework before Hogsmeade tomorrow. When we arrived, I saw that the rest of our group was dressed and halfway through their meal. Tux hopped up to greet us as we sat down, me next to James and Sirius next to me. No one batted an eye at our entrance.

Ok, I’m not one to be offended when no one is paying attention to me but I was _pretty_ sure it was strange that I had slept in Sirius’ bed the night before, I was wearing his shirt, and _no one was commenting on it_. A couple of younger Ravenclaw girls whispered to each other while shooting glares at me from behind Lily and Remus. One giggled at something the other said before realizing I was watching them. They abruptly turned away before dissolving into more giggles. 

_That_ was more of the reaction I expected. Not _this_ normal breakfast routine. Sirius passed me the coffee carafe after pouring himself a mug. Remus chatted with Peter about an assignment, Lily was doing a crossword in the Prophet, and James talked with Alice and Marlene about the last Quidditch match. 

Maybe I was just overthinking it. Maybe it _wasn’t_ weird. Sirius and I grown pretty close the past two weeks. I wasn’t that close with any guys back home. Tony was probably the closest guy friend but this didn’t feel the same. James and I had more of a relationship like what I had with Tony but my relationship with Sirius was...different. It was bordering on _relationship_ closeness and -

A finger poked me in my ribs and I jumped slightly. Sirius chuckled next to me. “You awake, love?”

“Not yet.” I muttered, pulling the basket of muffins towards me. I looked down to see a chocolate one already sitting there though. Confused, I picked it up and looked at Sirius who couldn’t contain his laugh. 

“I put that there 5 minutes ago. You really _are_ out of it. Maybe you should take a nap before trying to write any homework.” He suggested, taking a bite of his bacon.

“Maybe.” I murmured, still slightly distracted.

“Hey, Syd?” I turned towards Lily as she looked up from her crossword. “Do you know what ‘french toppers’ would be?”

I swallowed a sip of coffee before answering. “Berets.”

She scribbled in the answered and checked something before thanking me with a smile. I smiled back and took a bite of my muffin. Before I knew it, everyone was heading back to the tower. I ended up next to Sirius again with Remus on my other side, Tux between Sirius and I.

Remus nudged me gently with his elbow to get my attention. I looked over at him to see he was watching me with amusement. “What?”

“I’ve said your name three times. Did Sirius keep you up all night?” His tone was genuine but there was a glimmer in his eyes that told me he was fishing for some details of why I had ended up in Sirius’ bed.

I glanced over at Sirius who was trying to subtly watch us while talking to James. He wasn’t succeeding. I looked back at Remus who had a knowingly smile. “We were just talking. I ended up falling asleep and he brought me up. I don’t think we were up too late.”

“3 am.” Sirius interrupted us. We turned to see he had stopped his conversation with James to answer for me. “You fell asleep around 3 then I took you up. Drooling all over the place, too.”

I squinted at him suspiciously. “I do not drool.”

“I beg to differ.” He shot back with a wink.

“And apparently you lose your clothes in your sleep too, Syd.” James leaned so I could see he was raising an eyebrow at the shirt I wore. We made it to the portrait and headed in, the dark tunnel hiding my blush for a moment. 

“Sirius made me spill my coffee so he gave me his shirt.” The girls still hadn’t turned back to put their opinions in on our conversation, heading straight to the dorm. “I’ll give it back to you later, Sirius.”

“Keep it, love. I have plenty.” Sirius winked then headed up the stairs. I turned towards my side of the staircase, Tux bounding up ahead of me. When I opened the door though, I stopped at the sight of my three roommates waiting for me.

“What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ _us_ , missy.” Marlene squinted at me suspiciously. I could tell she was just messing with me but it was still a little unnerving. “Did you at least use a protection potion?”

“A _what?!_ ” Looking between the girls, I was confused. What on earth -

“Oh no, we’re going to have little Sirius Jr.s running around,” Alice face-palmed herself dramatically.

“I’m going to castrate that boy. He should _know_ better.” Lily shook her head with annoyance. Castrate -

“Woah, woah, woah.” I held my hands up to the group, letting my mind connect the dots. “I didn’t _sleep_ with Sirius.”

Lily watched me with narrowed eyes. “You’re wearing his shirt because _coffee_ spilled on you? That’s a flimsy excuse, we're not first years.”

“Syd, you don’t have to lie to us.” Marlene said sweetly. “We know you fancy him and he completely fancies you -”

“Ok, I don’t know _what_ you are even talking about.” I did but I wasn’t going to confirm the fact that I liked Sirius. I shook my head in disbelief. “I’m going to go and shower. Me, my _virgin self_ , and I are going to shower and pretend that none of you just accused me of sleeping with Sirius.”

Backing slowly into the bathroom, I shut the door and sighed. I totally jinxed myself earlier. I should’ve never even _thought_ about how normal they were at breakfast. Sleeping with Sirius. I’ve known him for _two weeks._ That would be a little fast.

I went to go step in the shower and stopped as something Marlene had said caught up with me...

_He completely fancies you -_

Could he? 

Shaking my head, I pushed that thought aggressively out of my mind. No way.

\---

By the end of Saturday, everyone had finished their homework, even me. We’d spent the whole day helping each other with the assignments, trading papers to proofread and practicing spells with each other. I’d spoken with Emmeline again during lunch and we’d plan to have her study with Remus and me Tuesday after Defense. It was pretty much the only time we’d all have free besides the weekend and with the trip to Hogsmeade tomorrow, everyone had unanimously agreed Saturday was a no go.

I walked down the stairs to see only Sirius waiting for me. Tux was sitting next to him, wagging his tail as Sirius showered him with affection. Smiling, I watched Sirius for a moment. It was adorable seeing him with Tux. 

It was officially two weeks since I’d stumbled into this castle and I’d felt as if I’d been here for years while simultaneously feeling as if I ran in just yesterday. There was no progress with stopping Voldemort but I knew it was too soon to really have done anything. The fact that the Slytherins the other night had known about the attack was still bothering me. How were they getting that information? Former students? 

“Love?” My heart gave a lurch at the pet name. _Shit_. I kept trying to ignore that but it was hard to when he did it constantly. And in that _accent_. Jesus, I didn’t know I had a weakness like that but damn, it made me feel so... _good_. I focused on Sirius who was waiting for me to snap out of it. “You coming?”

“Sorry, just zoned for a minute.” I shook my head and made my way to the portrait hole. He followed with Tux darting between our legs and when we stepped into the hall, he placed himself on my left side. “The others couldn’t wait?”

He smiled as if I said something funny. “I told them I’d wait for you. I think everyone’s a little hungry after all the work we did. Prongs almost bit my head off when I dropped my potions book.”

There was just something a little suspicious in his eyes but I let it go. Our hands brushed each other as we made our way to dinner. “Maybe I should take another look at that essay for Transfiguration. I’m pretty sure -”

“Love, I read it twice and Moony read it three times, it’s perfect. Don’t even think of trying to touch it.” Sirius mockingly threatened. It was true. They _had_ read it multiple times, made corrections, and helped explain what I’d done wrong. I was just overworked and couldn’t help but worry it wasn’t good enough.

We continued down the halls, discussing our homework and unnecessarily nitpicking our own work. It was a good thing we’d finished because we _really_ needed to destress from the day.

I kept thinking about our COMC essay. “Ok, but if we put the dragon description _before_ the history, it’ll flow -”

I froze at the entrance to the Great Hall.

Rubbing my eyes, I looked again. 

Nope, still there.

A hand on the small of my back startled me. I looked wide eyed at Sirius who had a wide grin. “I think my brain broke. Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

He chuckled and lead me forward into the Great Hall. The ceiling was... _pink and blue_ and _fluffy_. It looked like -

“We thought it would be a fun idea.” He was watching me, I could feel it, but I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the fluff.

“You did this?” I whispered, head tilted back.

“Well, me and the Marauders.” I glanced at him quickly but my attention was drawn back to the ceiling. “Try it.”

Giving him a what-the-actual-fuck look, he reached up and pulled a chunk of fluff _from the ceiling_. “Try it, love.”

Cautiously, I took the blue and mostly pink ball from him. Watching him suspiciously, I put it in my mouth. The sugar dissolved as it hit my tongue, sweetness flooding my mouth. I swallowed then grinned at him. “Cotton candy. You made the ceiling into cotton candy.”

“I think you mean candy floss but yes. The boys and I thought...well, it’s been a rough couple of days. We wanted to make everyone’s day a little bit...sweeter.” His pun was so cheesy but I couldn’t help my grin from getting wider. “A little juvenile but -”

“ _Sirius_ , this is...” I wrapped my arms around his torso, unable to even describe how silly and ridiculous and _perfect_ this prank was. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me gently. Leaning against his shoulder, I looked back up at the ceiling. His head was tilted down, still watching me with a grin. Meeting his eyes, I gave him a squeeze. “Thank you.”

Ok, maybe I could see the girls’ point when they thought I was sleeping with Sirius. I never had any _friends_ that I’d consistently touched and hugged like I did with Sirius. But it was just...natural. 

“It’s nothing, love.” But it _wasn’t_ nothing. It was so much. He and the others had done this for _everyone_ even the Slytherins. Although I think a few clouds of theirs were flavored differently from the faces they made. They had done this for the school, to bring a little light into our lives, and I couldn’t help how proud I was of them for being so caring.

I pulled away from Sirius to reach up and grab a large handful of the candy. Looking at the candy then giving him a challenging look, I said, “Bet I can eat more than you.”

“Love, you _wish_ you could eat as much as me.” Grabbing a fistful for himself, he shoved it into his mouth. I laughed at the gesture before shoving mine in as well. Pulling him along, we joined our friends to have our dinner of cotton candy.

\---

I groaned loudly, stretching out on the floor. “I’m never eating candy again.”

“ _How_ did you manage to eat all of that?” Marlene poked me in the side and I groaned again. “You’re skin and bones, where do it all _go?_ ”

“Her arse.” James said next to me from the floor. I grabbed the cushion I had face-planted into and slammed it into his face. “Oi!”

“The two of you _really_ need to stop commenting on the other’s arse.” Sirius looked down from his spot. He laid on the couch above us, stretching out on his stomach. The only people not in pain right now were Remus and Lily who were contently playing wizard chess. “I’m starting to question how Pureblood your family is.”

“Pads, I swear to Godric, if you make one more incest joke, I’m going to shave your head.” James leaned up to stab a finger in Sirius’ face but quickly laid back down at the sudden movement with a groan.

“Hey, as long as he doesn’t try anything funny, he can comment on my ass all he wants.” I looked over my shoulder at said body part. “It’s a pretty good ass.”

“I’m disowning you,” James muttered, pulling the pillow over his face. “Both of you.”

“I mean, she’s not _wrong_ -” The cushion smacked into Sirius’ face with a thump.

“Don’t make me ground the lot of you,” Lily threatened from her armchair without looking up from her game. Remus watched us with amusement, not as involved in his match with Lily as she was.

“I’m surprised you didn’t ground them an hour ago when they were tackling each other.” Remus commented lightly. Lily rolled her eyes as she moved her queen.

The sugar high had hit _fast_ after dinner. We’d decided to go out onto the grounds to run it off.

Ok, let me rephrase that: _Lily_ herded us outside and forced us to play tag to try and get the energy out of our systems since it had stopped raining.

It worked. But it ended up becoming tackle tag where instead of just tagging a person, you had to body slam them into the ground. James broke his glasses three times (fixed twice by Lily and once by Remus), Peter almost got beheaded by the Whomping Willow, and we had bruises everywhere.

“No one broke any bones so I can’t ground them for doing what I told them to do.” Lily watched as Remus moved a pawn across the board.

“My sanity broke. Doesn’t that count for anything?” I complained. Lily shook her head at me with a smirk.

“That broke a while ago, Syd. Can’t cry about now.” James muttered from a pillow pressed against his face. I kicked a foot in his direction, hearing a grunt when it met his side. “I’m going to tell Lily on you.”

“Lillllyyyyyyy,” I whined, lifting my head to look at her. I pointed accusingly at my cousin. “Jaimy is being mean.”

“Oi! Syd kicked me!” He swatted my thigh with the back of his hand.

“Now, children -” Lily started but I grabbed the pillow from his face and whacked it into his chest. With a growl, he rolled himself up and pulled me into a headlock.

“Nooooo! Jaimy!” I screeched, trying to wriggle away as he dug his knuckles into my head. “I’ll tell Lily!”

“What? That you’re losing? She already knows,” James cackled.

“No! I’ll tell her about your br -” A hand clamped hard over my mouth before the words could escape. I licked it but it didn’t move. Lily, now interested in our fight, as were the others around us, turned to watch the two of us in a standoff.

“What was that, Sydney?” She asked, crossing her arms calmly. I looked up at James who had me pinned to his chest, his hand still over my mouth. His whole face drained of blood as he stared wide eyed at Lily.

I bit his hand hard. He yelped and let go of me. I rolled away, panting as I took refuge behind Remus’ chair. “Jaimy’s -”

“I WILL BURN EVERY GRAIN OF COFFEE IF YOU UTTER ANOTHER WORD!” James yelled, racing towards me. I screamed and ran around Remus then Lily, hoping over Marlene and Peter. Sadly, I tripped over Peter’s foot and went flying. James landed on top of me and I tried to squirm away from him.

“Shouldn’t be embarrassed -”

“I swear to merlin, Syd -”

“It’s cute!” I giggled, pushing his hands off of me. “Slightly psychotic but cute!”

“Is this about his broom?” James froze at Lily’s words, his eyes wide as saucers. Slowly, we both turned to see her standing with an eyebrow raised, arms crossed, and one hip tilted. “That he named it after me?”

Gaping, James sat up and stared at the love of his life with horror. I sat up too, my own jaw dropping before James asked the loaded question. “You _know?_ ”

“Mate, _everyone_ knows.” Sirius put in unhelpfully. He had his head resting in the crook of his elbow with a smirk on his face.

“But - but -” The poor boy looked around at his friends, his face turning redder by the minute.

Alice had a grin on her face, watching James stutter. “It’s sweet. Weird but sweet.”

“He thinks it’s a lucky name because it’s yours,” Remus added with a shit eating grin. James blanched then gave Remus a betrayed look.

“Damn it!” The others turned at my outburst, confused. “That was the only thing I had on him!”

James perked up at the admission and lunged. I screamed again and stumbled, trying to get up. He caught me around the waist and dragged me to the floor where he began tickling me mercilessly.

“You w-win!” I yelled, flailing and laughing hysterically. “You win! You win!”

“Damn straight I win,” James finally stopped and I leaned against him, panting. He flopped back, taking me with him. “I think I’m going to throw up.”

I laid on top of him, completely exhausted and nauseous now that he’d mentioned it. The sugar crash was hitting me again and I felt awful. “Same. Remind me never to eat candy again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like there should be a drinking game for the amount of times Sirius calls Syd love.
> 
> I can't help it, it's too damn cute.
> 
> Hope everyone is healthy and safe. Honestly, writing this is helping me with everything happening right now both personally and in the world.
> 
> It's _not_ helping me finish my two papers due tomorrow but mentally, much help.


	12. Walking on Sunshine

I woke up to a weight on my chest. Looking down, I found Butter curled up fast asleep. The girls were moving about the room, quietly talking about what to wear. Rubbing my eyes, I gently moved Butter and rolled up. 

Lily, noticing that I was slightly functional, smiled brightly. “We should make you eat sugar more often. You actually fell asleep before the rest of us.”

I grunted then headed into the bathroom, carefully stepping over Tux. My head was pounding and I felt nauseous. Gratefully, I stepped into the hot shower and tried to become a person again.

I pulled on my regular clothing and pulled my hair up on top of my head. When I stepped out of the bathroom, Marlene came running over to inspect my outfit. “Where did you get _these?_ ”

She was referring to my jeans which were skin tight. I noticed that Lily’s were flared paired with her shirt tucked into them while Marlene and Alice both had long maxi skirts on with loose flowing tops. Right. 1977. Since everyone had mostly worn their uniform or lounge wear the entire time I’d been here, it was a bit of a shock to see them in the time period fashion. I hadn’t worn my jeans at all since I’d arrived. I didn’t see the need to. I just wasn’t someone who cared about fashion.

“Uh, back home.” I said awkwardly, I tried to divert her attention. “I love your skirt, it’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” She waved a hand to brush off my comment. “Now, about your trousers. _How_ did you get your legs into them?”

Alice came up behind me and tried to pull the material away from my leg but had no luck, the jeans were glued to my body. “They’re so _form fitting,_ like a second skin. Can you move in them?”

“Yes,” I replied reluctantly. I wasn’t expecting so much fascination over my jeans. Paired with the plain black t-shirt, I looked like I did every other day of the week when I was home. Typically it was a band t-shirt, maybe a flannel too, and my leather jacket when it was chilly. “They’re just jeans.”

“Just jeans,” Marlene scoffed. She traded glances with Alice, a smile on her face. “How much you want to bet that Sirius walks into a wall while he’s staring at her arse?”

“Marlene!” I smacked her shoulder lightly with the back of my hand. “No one is going to be looking at my ass.”

“I can’t seem to _stop_ looking at it. You were right, you _do_ have a nice arse.” Lily said cheekily. “Sirius is going to be a wreck.”

“Jaimy’s going to be devastated when I tell him you said that.” I pulled my Converse out from under the bed. I really needed to find some boots along with more clothes. The Converse were ok but I just...wanted to be in boots. “The love of his life in love with his cousin. It’s tragic.”

“Sirius can console him,” Lily picked up Butter, holding her gently. “I’ve always thought they’d be a cute couple.”

I bit my lip, trying to contain the laugh. The amount of fanfics over the years popped into my head and I couldn’t help myself. “Actually, I think Sirius and Remus would be a cuter couple.”

Alice squealed at the suggestion. “They _would!_ See, Mar? Syd gets it!”

Marlene rolled her eyes at the shorter girl before turning to me. “Ali’s convinced that they’re having a secret affair but won’t tell James because it’s against their Marauders code or something.”

“It would be _so_ cute though. Sirius is so wild and out spoken while Remus is down to earth and -” Alice was on a roll. Marlene grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room as she continued to list reasons why she shipped Remus and Sirius. Giggling, Lily and I followed them.

We entered the common room to see the boys laying around the fireplace waiting for us. They stood up to join us. I noticed that Sirius froze when his gaze landed on me, his eyes glazing over slightly. Lily nudged me, clearly noticing too.

“What the bloody hell are you wearing, Syd?” James exclaimed. I crossed my arms defensively and gave him a raised eyebrow.

“Clothes, Jaimy.”

“I can see your whole arse in those! Nope, you need to change.” James shook his head at me. “I have some trousers you can wear, we’re the about the same size -”

“James Potter, I am _not_ wearing your pants. Besides, Lily likes them.” I smirked haughtily as his face went through six different emotions. It was a riot.

“But -” James tried.

“Looks great in those jeans.” Lily said with a grin. She winked at me and I couldn’t help but smile back. “I’m thinking of getting a pair for myself. What do you think?”

James gulped and stared wide eyed between the two of us. Remus came up behind him and clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving the two of us a grin. “You both look lovely. I think we should head down to breakfast though so we can leave on time. Pads, you coming?”

“Hmmm?” Sirius was in a trance as he stared at me. Well not _me_ per say but the lower half of me. His eyes roaming up and down. Suddenly it felt _very_ hot in this room. James smacked the back of his head and Sirius jolted, rubbing the injury and looking between all of us. “Merlin, Prongs, what was that for?”

“10 sickles,” Alice said behind me. “on the way down to town.”

“You’re on. 10 sickles it’ll be before we get to the Hall.” Marlene shook Alice’s hand. I shook my head at the two of them before making my way to the portrait hole with Lily. Glancing over my shoulder, I caught Sirius checking me out as we made our way down. A blush crept over my cheeks when I realized he didn’t even notice me catching him, he was too focused. My body buzzed the entire way to breakfast, aware of the eyes watching me the whole time.

\---

Marlene had won. 

Sirius ended up walking into the door outside the Great Hall. I was still trying to decide if I was flattered or embarrassed over the attention. _He_ clearly didn’t mind being made fun of over the incident, insisting that Dumbledore should reconsider the uniforms for school.

We walked down the from the school with the rest of the older students after breakfast after grabbing our bags from the dorms. Frank joined our group, arm around Alice, talking with the boys about Quidditch. I strolled with Lily, enjoying the beautiful day and excited to finally see Hogsmeade.

Lily and I were behind everyone, arms hooked and chatting about classes. I watched the others, smiling softly at their relaxed mood. Sirius and James both glanced over their shoulders a few times, checking on us. It was cute. I don’t know where they think we were going to wander off to though. 

I also couldn’t help but be impressed with their Muggle wear. I had expected Arthur Weasley type clothing, mod-podged and slightly outdated clothing but everyone seemed as if they could blend right in in any Muggle city. James wore jeans and a red flannel, Remus had a soft and well worn sweater vest over a button down, and Peter was in a plain sweater. Sirius was wearing exactly what I expected: jeans, biker boots, a Led Zeppelin shirt that was full of holes, and a black leather jacket. And of course his dog collar. The four of them couldn’t look any more of a ragtag group of teenagers if they tried.

The town was bursting with people. Students, locals, and clearly some out of towners. I was a little overwhelmed by the madness. The group talked excitedly around me as I took in everything. Lily nudged me, bringing my attention to her. “Where did you want to go first, Syd?”

“Gladrag’s is the only place I really need to go,” I replied with a shrug. “I didn’t bring much with me when I came here. Unless there’s a bookstore you all forgot to mention.”

She sighed dramatically. “No bookshops. I think it’d be the perfect place for one, too.”

I could see what she meant. The place had small town vibes everywhere you looked. We informed the group of my mission and although Alice would love to join us, she and Frank had planned out their whole trip. The boys decided to head to Zonko’s while Marlene dragged Lily and I towards the clothing shop. The place was _bursting_ with clothes.

Lily and Marlene immediately began hunting through the racks, running back to me to shove something into my arms. Once I couldn’t see over the pile, we headed to the dressing room area. Marlene shoved me into the curtained off changing spot then took a seat with Lily.

Insert Charlie Bradbury style montage.

I got lost in a tent that was supposed to be a dress at some point. Way too many clothing try-ons later, I had a decent pile of clothing to bring back with me. As the others began combing through the aisles for themselves, I peeked at a few more racks. My hand brushed the buttery soft leather of a jacket so I stepped back to take a closer look. The olive green jacket was _beautiful_. I’d never seen leather this color.

“All set, dear?” The shop owner asked politely. She came closer to see what I was looking at. “Oh, that one just came in. Lovely, isn’t it? It’s the only one too.”

“I’m not sure I really need it but it _is_ beautiful.” I slipped it off the hanger and onto my shoulders. Turning around in front of one of the many mirrors in the store, I knew I had to buy it. If I didn’t, I’d be thinking about it for the next week, wishing I had bought it. Even with the shockingly pink hair, it looked _great_ on me and fit like a glove.

The shop keeper gave me a knowing look. “I’ll just take the tag and add it to your order, dear.”

She popped the tag off cleanly, gathering the rest of my haul to bring to the counter. I walked up to pay for it all in my new green jacket. The only thing I hadn’t managed to find were boots. Awkwardly, I tried to pull out the correct amount but ended up having Lily help me with the money. Her eyebrows shot straight up when she opened the purse but she didn’t make a comment, just counted out the total and handed it to the shop keeper.

I still hadn’t figured out how my future self got all that money. I don’t know enough to convert knuts and sickles to American dollars but I knew it was a _lot_ of money stashed in my vault at Gringotts. I had grabbed a few handfuls when I’d gone with Dumbledore a couple of weeks ago, not really knowing how much I’d put in the purse. Clearly, it was a lot.

We headed out, leaving the bags of clothes in the shop. Mrs. Gibbons, the shop keeper, had a plethora of house elves who were only too happy to bring my purchases back to the castle. I felt a little twinge of guilt at that. I could hold my own bags, there was no reason for the house elves to carry them. Mrs. Gibbons had insisted though and it felt rude to deny the clearly excited house elves the promise of work. It was a strange experience.

The Quill Shop was next on our agenda and when we entered, we found Remus already shopping. Lily disappeared into the aisles seconds after we walked in, Marlene right behind her. I made my way over to Remus, checking out what he was getting.

He tilted his head with a raised eyebrow, looking from my jacket then to my face. “Nice jacket.”

I preened a little, excited about my new clothing. “Thanks. Were you all successful at Zonko’s?”

“Very,” He grinned, a mischievous look in his eye. “I think we got enough supplies to last us til Christmas.”

“Should I be worried?” I asked wryly. Picking up a red and gold quill, I ran my fingers along the feathers. “By the way, where did you leave the children? You know unattended children are fed to dragons.”

I pointed at the sign above the cashier jokingly. He laughed, putting down the journal he’d been looking at. “They ran off to Dervish and Banges. Prongs needed new Quidditch gloves.”

I let Remus finish up his shopping and wandered around the store. After a few aisles, everyone had finished and paid for their purchases. We exited the shop only to run right into the other Marauders.

“Nice jacket, love.” Sirius commented, eyeing the piece of clothing admiringly.

“Thank you,” I grinned. “I think I bought enough clothes to dress the entire castle. I won’t need to keep stealing yours.”

“But you look so good in my clothes,” He winked and I tried not to blush at his words.

We headed down to Honeydukes. I took a moment to bend down and tie my shoe without anyone _cough_ Sirius _cough_ noticing, everyone heading towards the store. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bright blonde head as I stood up. Turning towards it, I found myself looking at Draco Malfoy. But that wasn’t...no, it wasn’t Draco. It must be Lucius. The resemblance was uncanny. He stood with Rodolphus, Rabastian, Evan, Severus, a black haired boy and a black haired girl who both looked familiar. I couldn’t figure out where I knew them from though.

“Love, you coming?” Sirius asked from the store doorway. From his vantage point, he wouldn’t be able to see the group in the alley. Lucius, hearing Sirius, turned and met my eyes. The icy blue of his chilled me. But the dark haired girl’s eyes caused me to break out in a cold sweat when she looked to see what Lucius was staring at. _Bellatrix._

There was no denying it. Her regal features with the slightly crazed look in her eyes told me. She grinned manically at me and waved her fingers in a creepy greeting, one finger at a time so they did a wave motion. 

That was when the black haired boy looked up and my stomach dropped. Familiar gray eyes met mine, recognition punching me in the gut. _Regulus._

I had lied to Sirius. I hadn’t seen Regulus since I’d been here. This was the first time I’d seen him in person but I’d been right. He looked almost _exactly_ like Sirius. There was just something...off. Quickly, I walked towards Sirius, hoping he wouldn’t come towards me.

“Just zoned out for a second, sorry.” I said breathlessly. Wrapping my arm through his, I dragged him into the sweet shop before the group outside decided to join us. “So what do I need to try?”

“All the things.” He smiled like a five year old and began to pull me around the store. We ended up standing in front of the window, his back turned to it. He handed me a jelly bean, just one, insisting I try it.

“I thought we established last night that I wasn’t eating candy ever again.” I said dryly.

“Just eat it, love.” Sirius had a suspicious look in his eye that made me pause. We’d discussed on Saturday the fact that I hadn’t had most wizarding candies. I had said it was because I just didn’t go to wizarding candy stores (homeschooled girl) but the boys, especially Sirius, had been appalled that I’d never tried their favorite sweets.

I wasn’t an idiot though. I _knew_ that he was trying to make me try a Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Bean that was mostly likely disgusting. I humored him though and put in my mouth. The taste of dirt spread over my tongue and I did my best not to gag. Coughing, I smacked him in the shoulder. “That was disgusting. I thought you were trying to make me _like_ candy not hate it.”

Laughing, he caught the hand that I had used to pull me closer to him and me, being the complete moron that I am, let him. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m buying every single kind of sweet in here. You’re going to try _all_ of them. I feel like you’re a chocolate kind of girl.”

“Do you now? Well, surprise, I actually like gummies more.” I grinned at him with amusement. A flicker over his shoulder caught my attention then and I looked to see Bellatrix on the other side of the window. _Staring_ at Sirius and I. Vaguely, I heard Remus come up next to Sirius.

An irrational fear shot through me and I instinctively pulled Sirius closer to me at her gaze. I say irrational because there was no _way_ she would be stupid enough to try and hurt Sirius in public like this. It was also _years_ before she would kill Sirius. Regardless of the facts I knew, my fear was very real and I couldn’t help as my breath sped up. It also didn’t stop me from possessively putting an arm around his waist as she stared at us. His hand automatically went to the small of my back, continuing his conversation with Remus. Bellatrix raised an eyebrow at my clear message before throwing me a wink and sauntering off. 

My body want to run after her and kill her now. _That_ was the woman who would murder the boy I lov-

My mind screeched to a halt. _No._ It’d only been two weeks. I couldn’t -

“Sydney?” Sirius’ voiced reached me and I tilted my head up to see his gray eyes worriedly watching me. Carefully, he pushed a pink strand of hair behind my ear. “Love, what’s wrong?”

My breath was still coming in short gasps, blood rushing in my ears. I shook my head and back away from him. “Air. N-need air.”

I stumbled through the shop and right out the door. The brisk air hit me in the face, shocking my system for a moment.

Then I ran into someone.

I turned towards the person I’d almost run over to see an older man, around my dad’s age. Dark hair fell gracefully over a regal face. I had a weird thought that this is _exactly_ what Sirius would look like at this man’s age. The man steadied me with a hand on my arm. My breath was still coming in bursts but I tried to apologize. “S-sor -”

Sirius burst out of the shop, rushing to me worriedly. Abruptly, he stopped to look between me and the man. “Uncle Al?”

“Sirius, my boy! I was hoping I’d see you out and about.” The man, Al, turned towards me. My breath had started slowing down finally. “Are you alright, dear? I’m sorry I ran into you.”

“My fault.” I replied breathlessly, stepping away from him. Sirius joined us, his hand at the small of my back once again, searching my face.

“Syd, what happened? You looked like you were going to pass out.” I still might. Over Al’s shoulder, I could see the group of future Death Eaters - possibly _current_ Death Eaters - laughing as they walked away from us. Sirius turned to see what had my attention.

So I pretended to faint.

I let my legs collapse under me, rolling my eyes into the back of my head. Quickly, Sirius caught me, frantically saying my name. I felt him lower me to the ground, holding my upper body while one hand held my face. Dramatically, I fluttered my eyes open.

I am _not_ proud of myself. Honestly, I’m a little embarrassed that my brain thought that _this_ was the best way to distract Sirius.

But...it worked. The group had disappeared and Sirius was completely focused on me.

A blush crept over my cheeks as I tried to sit up on my own, leaning heavily on Sirius. I glanced up to see Uncle Al watching us with amusement. “I’m fine, just light-headed. I should’ve actually eaten my breakfast.”

“Love, you are _not_ fine.” Sirius said, still supporting me as we sat on the ground. My heart fucking _skipped_ at the pet name. The revelation a moment ago hitting me again. I _can’t_ like - “Let’s get you back to the castle.”

“No! Sirius, I swear, it’s nothing -” I protested before being cut off by Uncle Al.

“How about you both join me for a drink, Sirius? We can see how you’re feeling after that, Ms. Rose.” My eyes widen in shock but he just gave me a small, amused smile. What the _fuck?_

“Sure, that sounds great.” I gritted out. Sirius helped me stand up and we made our way to the Three Broomsticks. Settling into our seats by the window, Uncle Al sent Sirius to the bar to get three butterbeers for us. As soon as he was out of earshot, I spun to the older man. “We’ve met.”

“Years ago, Ms. Rose. But yes, we’ve met.” His eyes sparkled mischievously. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Let me guess, you can’t tell me anything I said to you?” My eyes watched him carefully, hoping he’d slip up. A piece slid into place in my brain as I looked at him. “Wait, you’re Alphard.”

“I am,” This man was supposed to be _dead_ already. He would’ve left his money to Sirius which would’ve supported him when he ran away. But if he’s sitting here then - “And you’d be correct. You are a very...persuasive woman, Ms. Rose. And before you ask, I am sitting here and not six feet under because of _you._ I will not betray the trust you put in me years ago. Unfortunately, you’ll have to figure out things on your own.”

Slightly gaping at him, I turned over what he just said. He’s alive _because of me._ What the _hell_ did future me _do?_ Sirius was supposed to be able to support himself because of Alphard. And whatever I did made this man trust me explicitly. I opened my mouth to try and come up with some kind of response. A bottle appeared in front of me as Sirius slid into the chair on my left. “What did I miss?”

I turned to Alphard who smirked slightly. He answered his nephew with amusement. “I was asking Ms. Rose how an American ended up at Hogwarts.”

“James is convinced she has a stalker ex who is trying to kill her.” Sirius leaned back, throwing me a wink. His arm had ended up on the back of my chair, casually resting there. 

I rolled my eyes at his answer. “Jaimy is delusional. I just came because of some personal reasons that _don’t_ include a crazy stalker ex. I’d rather not talk about those reasons though.”

“Fair enough,” Alphard nodded contently.

“What are _you_ doing here though, Uncle Al? I thought you and Aunt Dottie were traveling until Christmas.” Sirius took a sip of his butterbeer which reminded me of the one in front of me. I grabbed the bottle and took a sip as I listened to them. The sweet soda pop flavor was delicious. I could taste a hint of alcohol under the sweet taste.

“Meeting Minnie and Silv. Sorry, Professor McGonagall and Kettleburn to you two.” Al smiled and sipped his own drink. “Dot ran off to the quill shop an hour ago but I expect she’ll turn up sooner or later with half the shop.”

The two of them talked as I tried to wrack my brain for a Dottie mentioned in any part of the Harry Potter books or movies. There was never a Dottie. And if Sirius was calling her _Aunt Dottie_ -

“Ah, I see Minnie now. I’ll leave the two of you to it then.” Al threw a wink at me as he clapped Sirius on the shoulder. “I expect you to keep this one out of trouble, Ms. Rose.”

“Sydney. Please, call me Sydney. And it was wonderful meeting you.” I meant it. Watching Sirius talk with his uncle was...it was adorable to be honest. They had bantered back and forth, really enjoying each other’s company. As Alphard joined McGonagall, I turned to Sirius for more of an explanation. “I didn’t know you had an uncle. Or an aunt.”

“Love, my family is a twisted insane asylum of a mess. It would take me years to tell you about all of them.” He took another sip of butterbeer casually. “But yes, I have an aunt and an uncle.”

“And?” I prompted, interested to know more. “How did they meet? Why haven’t you mentioned them? You said your family is bad news but Al seems great -”

“Woah, one question at a time, love.” Sirius ruffled his hair. “Uncle Al met Aunt Dottie right after graduating Hogwarts. They fell madly in love but then Aunt Dottie disappeared without a trace. Uncle Al was devastated, refused to talk about her to anyone. He was convinced that Aunt Dottie was his soulmate and that either she’d come back to him or he’d spend the rest of his life alone.”

Sirius bit his lip, thinking for a moment. “Actually, I think he almost did die alone. He doesn’t talk about it but about a year ago, he...his depression over Dottie had gotten pretty bad. The letters he sent were...concerning. Then Aunt Dottie came back, completely out of the blue. Uncle Al has been a different person since then. I mean, he’s always been more open minded than the rest of the Blacks but Aunt Dottie really changed him into a more...into more. I can’t really explain it.”

I rubbed the label on the bottle, rolling the peeling label bits into a ball. “So why do you live with the Potters and not your aunt and uncle?”

“Oh, Uncle Al and Aunt Dottie travel all the time. They don’t own a place. When I ran off, Uncle Al gave me access to his vaults for anything I needed but agreed I should be with the Potters. I think he feels guilty for not being there when I ran but not guilty enough to make Aunt Dottie stay in one place.” He shrugged then took another sip of his butterbeer. “Honestly, I’d rather be with the Potters. I appreciate Uncle Al supporting me but him and Aunt Dottie are complete nutters.”

“Are there any _other_ decent family members I should be aware of?” I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Clearly not all the Blacks are bad apples.”

“My cousin Andy and her husband Ted. Their daughter, Dora, too.” He scratched his chin and my eyes lingered on the scruff growing in there. Damn him. “Andy blew off her arranged marriage to marry Ted. Aunt Dru _still_ gets pissy when you mention it. You’d think she’d get over it after 9 years but nope. Plus she managed to wrangle Cissy into marrying that loon when Andy ran off. I don’t see why she’s still so bitter about it.”

“Hopefully I’ll get to meet her like a normal person instead of running them down in the street.”

“Speaking of, how are you feeling?” Sirius turned - well, serious. His fingers brushed the back of my neck and I couldn’t help the shiver that went through me. “You scared the shite out of me, love.”

“I’m fine, really, Sirius.” I sighed, looking down at the table. “I was light-headed, it was nothing.”

“Hmmm,” He took another sip of butterbeer. When I met his eyes, he was watching me still. “I still think you should see Poppy. If anything, she can give you something for the insomnia.”

“Sirius, for the last time, I’m _fine._ ”

“What did she do this time, Pads?” James asked, walking around from behind us to sit in the seat Alphard had just vacated. “Trip over air?”

“You’re one to talk,” I shot back as Remus and Peter joined us. “I saw you walk into that pole earlier when you were staring at Lily’s hair _again._ ”

“Clumsiness must be genetic. Poor future Potters, piled on top of the incest, those kids will never have a chance.” Remus sighed dramatically. James and I both turned to glare at the tall boy.

I raised the bottle I was holding and pointed the neck of it in his direction. “One more incest joke and I will burn your chocolate.”

“Like you could ever find it.” Remus scoffed, taking a sip of his drink.

“Third floor board to the left of your trunk.” I raised an eyebrow as his mouth dropped open. I’d only been in the boys dorm a few times but had noticed the loose floor board near Remus’ things. I was bluffing but his reaction told me I was right. “Try me, Lupin.”

He raised his hands in defeat, laughing. Sirius leaned forward with a shit-eating grin. “Don’t forget about the poor eye sight and the lack of self-preservation, Moony. The children won’t make it to first year.”

“Oi! My eye sight is only slightly off!” James protested loudly.

“James, focus on the issue,” I tilted my head at Sirius and glared. “The incest thing goes for you, too. I will shave your head.”

“Love, you like my hair too much to get rid of it.” He leaned forward in a challenging me. Squinting at him, I moved slightly towards him, meeting his challenge. 

“Darling, I can live with you being bald. _You_ are the one who will have a mental breakdown.” I reached up and ran a hand through his locks mockingly. “You’ll go to bed one night with your long, long hair only to wake up with all of it _gone_. No trace of your trademark look to be found. What _will_ the ladies swoon over then?”

“Oh no, she’s got a pet name for _him_ now.” James whispered loudly to Remus. “I should owl Mum to plan for a Christmas wedding.”

“I see them having a New Year’s wedding,” Remus argued. “More alcohol and of course, loads of fireworks.”

“We’ll have to start buying them now or we won’t have enough to properly celebrate.” Peter chimed in. James and Remus looked over at the boy with cocked heads.

“The fireworks or the booze?” James asked his short friend.

“Both.” James and Remus nodded at his response.

Shaking my head at them, I couldn’t believe this was a real conversation I was having. “I’m not inviting _any_ of you to the wedding if you keep it up.”

“But, Syd, we need the boys to walk down the aisle with.” Marlene whined cheekily as she pulled a chair to join us. “We can’t just walk down alone.”

“Plus it’ll be the closest Potter ever gets to being at an altar with me,” Lily joined us as well, sitting between Peter and Remus. “Don’t ruin it for him.”

I spat out the mouthful of butterbeer at her words. The others gave me wide eyed, concerned looks as I hacked a lung out. If only she _knew_ -

“No worries, Lils. After you and I run off together, Prongs can _actually_ marry Syd like we all know he wants to.” Sirius had the biggest grin on his face.

James and I looked at each other across the table with serious faces. I shook my head in disappointment. “I don’t think shaving his head will be enough.”

“We can keep him from the pie when we go home,” James rubbed his chin evilly. “Or I can convince Mum that Sirius corrupted you and now you’re failing out of school, running off to marry him, and carrying his illegitimate child. Mum will be _furious_. She’ll never give him pie again.”

I squinted at him with concern. “I don’t think pregnancy and teenage marriage is necessary but we can work out the details later. Plus if I marry him, the child won’t be illegitimate.”

“Alright! No more incest jokes!” Sirius raised his hands in defeat. “You win, love. Bringing pie into this, I can't believe you'd stoop so low.”

Giving him a satisfied smile, I leaned back in my chair to finish my butterbeer. The others fell into a conversation about the Weird Sisters’ new album with enthusiasm. As they talked, my gaze fell on the street outside. My breath caught as two dark haired boys passed. Severus and Regulus. I don’t know if he could feel my eyes but Regulus looked up just as he walked by, meeting mine through the window. He tilted his head slightly and winked with a small smirk. Not the way Bellatrix had earlier, not maliciously, but similar to - well, similar to Sirius. The next second he was gone, past the window and heading towards the castle.

I bit my lip, turning back towards the group. Regulus _was_ a Death Eater. I don’t know if at that literal moment he’d already joined but I knew he recruited students into the Death Eaters while still at Hogwarts in his sixth year. Had he already joined? Branded himself to Voldemort’s cause? Was it already too late?

I knew that Voldemort used Kreacher to test the hiding spot one of his horcruxes but Regulus went back later on to steal it then died there. He _was_ good just...didn't know what he was getting into. I didn’t know Regulus, hadn’t even spoken to him yet, but he was so _young_. I couldn't help my desire to save him. And although Sirius talked about how awful his family was, I could tell from his voice the other night that he still cared about his brother. It’s not a bond that’s easily broken. Maybe if I could talk to Regulus -

“Love? You still with us?” Sirius asked quietly. I turned to see him only inches from me, watching me curiously. My heart pounded faster, my eyes distracted by him licking his bottom lip for a moment. “Syd?”

I forced my gaze to his. The concerned look was back, he searched my face, probably to make sure I wouldn’t faint again. It was so sweet of him that it made me melt a little.

Jesus fucking Christ I was a mess.

“You two coming?” Remus asked, standing behind his chair. The others were making their way to the door. 

Quickly, I got up. “Yes, sorry, totally zoned out for a sec.”

We joined everyone outside, Sirius attaching himself to me as we walked up to the castle. It was only slightly overbearing but I was grateful he hadn’t brought up the fainting incident in front of everyone. James would drag me straight to Pomfrey if he knew.

Marlene was walking backwards in front of me, telling me a story about fifth year when she and Alice had tried to sneak out to see a Weird Sisters concert only to be caught by Dumbledore in his pajamas.

“He had a robe as pink as your hair -” I opened my mouth to stop Marlene’s story but it was too late. She stumbled into someone, both of them crashing to the ground. “Woah!”

Marlene blushed hard as she took in who she’d knocked over. The Hufflepuff girl who’d been patrolling with Remus the other night sat in the dirt next to Marlene.

“S-sorry, Dory.” Marlene stuttered.

“It’s alright.” The girl smiled brightly, picking herself up then helped Marlene up, clasping both hands to pull her. The two stared at each other for a moment before Sirius interrupted.

“Hey, Dory! You guys set to kick Slytherin arse next week?” Dory broke the staring to answer Sirius who I elbowed in the gut. For someone who liked to argue with me that he's so smart, he could be _really_ dumb sometimes.

Dory winked at Sirius cheerfully. “Damn straight. No way they’re winning this match.”

“You’re on the Quidditch team?” I asked with interest. Dory was small, a little shorter than Alice, with dark curly hair. She wore an outfit similar to Lily’s, flared jeans and a shirt tucked in.

“Chaser.” She answered with a smile.

“I’m Sydney, by the way, I don’t think we’ve actually met yet,” I returned the grin and held out my hand for her to shake.

She firmly grasped it, giving it a few pumps. “Oh, I know who you are, Sydney. Pretty sure everyone’s been gossiping about you for weeks. I’m Dorcas Meadowes. But everyone calls me Dory.”

My insides turned to ice at the name. We continued on our way back to the castle, Sirius chatting pleasantly with Marlene and Dory about Quidditch. I couldn’t believe it. _Dorcas Meadowes._ She was killed by Voldemort personally around the time Lily and James were killed. Apparently she was a big enough threat to him that he murdered her himself. And here she was talking Quidditch with us.

I watched Marlene and Dory talking together for a moment and subtly started walking slower, causing Sirius to slow down with me. He glanced at me with a raised eyebrow but I just shook my head, letting the girls walk on without us. Once they were a few feet away, I picked up a normal pace.

“Are you going to share with the class, love?” Sirius asked quietly, picking up on the fact I didn’t want to have the two girls overhear us. The rest of our group was spread out along the road but no one else was close enough to eavesdrop.

“Just hoping Marlene takes the opportunity to ask Dory out,” I tilted my head at them with a small smile.

Sirius watched Marlene and Dory walking for a moment before answering me. “Really? Mar and Dory? What makes you think Marlene’s interested in Dory?”

“It’s just a hunch.” I shrugged, not really sure if I was right but hoping I was. And if I focused on someone else's love life then I wouldn't have to deal with mine. Especially the epiphany I'd had earlier. Meeting those gray eyes once more, Sirius smirked at me with amusement and my stomach did that weird thing that felt like lava spreading. 

Yeah. I was screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DORLENE. I had debated a few things with Marlene but UGH Dorlene is too cute and I can't handle it, I had to have Dorlene.
> 
> Am I currently listening to Walking on Sunshine on repeat?
> 
> Yes I am. Send help.


	13. Drop of Us

The nightmares started that night. I went to bed, hoping I’d fall asleep like a normal human being and not be plagued by the insomnia that had been keeping me up for the past two weeks. Tonight, I’d managed to only stay up until 2am, my Transfiguration book getting blurry as I finally closed my eyes to rest.

 _Flashes flickered. Yelling. A stone archway. Smoke swooping. Sirius. Manic laughter echoing loudly. Green light. Harry screaming._

I sat up with a gasp, sweat coating my skin. My breath swooshed in and out, loud in the quiet room. Tux whined softly next to me. I ran a hand over his head, comforted by the fact that he was there. If he was there then what I just saw hadn’t happened. Sirius was _fine_. Asleep in his dorm.

Glancing down, I realized my hand was trembling. I closed my eyes and focused on slowing my breathing, reminding myself that the future _could_ change. Alphard was alive. There was proof right there. The man should’ve died a year ago but he was out there living his life with a wife who loved him. Because I did something to change his future.

 _What_ could I have done though? And what could I do to ensure that my friends lived long enough to see their own grandchildren? It was overwhelming every time I tried to organize those thoughts. Voldemort, Belaltrix, Regulus, horcruxes, Dorcas, Emmeline, Marlene, - I smacked myself in the forehead. There was a god damn _Basilisk_ in the basement that I hadn’t told anyone about.

Maybe I should start writing these things down. Check off my to do list as I did them. The issue though was what if someone found it? What if I wrote down the future events and then someone _saw_ those things? Mainly Peter.

Peter. I still couldn’t figure him out. He didn’t speak much when I was around. At first I thought that he was just quiet, overshadowed by James and Sirius, but I caught him talking with pretty much everyone else.

 _Not_ that I really wanted to chat with him but...it was strange. I knew my own feelings of mistrust could possibly be part of what he shied away from but there was just something else I couldn’t explain. I’d caught him staring at me a few times in a creepy way. Mostly when Sirius was around. We’d be sitting next to each other and when I glanced over, I found Peter inspecting us. A shiver ran over me just thinking about it.

It was probably nothing. I was probably reading too much into things. Considering what I knew about Peter, well future Peter, it didn’t surprise me that I found him...off.

Running both hands through my hair, I sighed. There was just _so much_ to do. So many people who would be affected by all this. Alice let out a snore next to me and I glanced over at her.

Alice. And Frank. Bellatrix wouldn’t just kill Sirius. She would _torture_ Ali and Frank into insanity. To the point where they didn’t recognize their own _son_. A shiver ran through me just thinking about it. What if my parents didn’t know who I was? How _horrible_ would that be? Being alive, being there but not _there_. Neville deserved to grow up with loving parents just like Harry.

Wetness dropped onto my hands and I looked down in surprise. Bringing my fingers to my face, I pulled them away to see tears shining in the moonlight. Wiping my face off, I threw the covers off and went down to the common room with Tux. I settled on the couch, closing my eyes to at least try and rest them. Even if I wasn’t sleeping, I could let them rest for a while. 

I really _should_ write down what I needed to do though. My mind always remembered things better once I wrote them down. If only there was a way to hide my writ-

 _Duh._ The Map.

The four _teenagers_ upstairs had managed to create a complicated map that only reveals itself when the password is spoken. If there was a way to use that kind of magic on a journal -

A creak in the floorboards behind me made me jump. Spinning around, I found myself alone. No one was there. Scanning the room revealed absolutely nothing out of place. Maybe it was just old floorboards -

“Shite,” A voice hissed as a chair moved slightly. Standing up, I squinted at the chair and the area surrounding it. _Someone_ was there, under the Cloak, but _who -_

The air moved to my right and I shot out my hand, grasping slippery fabric. Holding tight, I pulled it to reveal James who stared at me with horror. I raised one eyebrow at my cousin. “Going somewhere, Jaimy?”

“You - how -” He pointed at me then the cloak then me again.

“You’re not exactly subtle,” I put one hand on my hip, the other still holding the cloak.

“But - you -” James stood there flabbergasted. It was inevitable that I would find them using the Cloak but I hadn’t expected to catch Jaimy sneaking around in it so soon.

“Words, Jaimy. You can do it,” I said dryly. Looking down, I inspected the Cloak closer. It was incredible. Honestly, if I hadn’t known about it beforehand, I probably would’ve thought the voice was my imagination.

“How did you _know?_ ” He asked in disbelief. I tilted my head at his expression. He really seemed completely thrown off by the fact I had caught him. As if it just wasn’t possible.

“You moved a chair. And cursed.” I wanted to play this off as if it was obvious he was sneaking around. In James’ view, I shouldn’t have been able to find him but I did. This might be suspicious if he thought about it too long. “Maybe next time, _look_ where you’re walking. Where did you get this anyway?”

Quickly, he pulled the Cloak from my grasp and held it close. “Dad. It’s an heirloom.”

Giving him a skeptical look, I crossed my arms. “You’re using an _heirloom_ to sneak around the castle at night. Aren’t you Head Boy? You should be able to go anywhere.”

Awkwardly, he scratched a hand through his hair. “Actually, no one’s supposed to be out after midnight unless there’s an emergency.”

“And _was_ there an emergency?” I asked.

“Noooooo,” James looked to the floor for a moment before meeting my gaze. “I was just getting snacks from the kitchens. What are _you_ doing up?”

I pointed at myself. “Insomniac. I thought we established that.”

“Right,” James started backing up towards the staircase. “Well, I’m going to bed. Try and get some sleep, Syd. Night!”

He fled up the staircase before I could reply. Such a weird boy. Sighing, I realized he was right. I probably should try and get some sleep. I headed back up with Tux and laid down. Staring at the canopy above me, I tried counting back from 100. If I kept my mind off the things I had to do then maybe I could relax enough to fall asleep.

If only I was so lucky.

\---

Two hours of sleep had me struggling to keep my eyes open at the breakfast table. Yawning, I poured myself another cup of coffee. Tux laid his head in my lap and I scratched his head absentmindedly. 

“Anyone know a six letter word for disappointment?” Lily asked across the table, looking down at her crossword.

“Sydney,” James and Sirius said at the same time. Laughing, they high-fived each other over my head while I coughed on my sip of coffee.

“ _Assholes_ ,” I smacked the both of them in the stomach and they groaned simultaneously. “I was going to say Sirius.”

“My mother would agree with you on that,” Sirius muttered, rubbing his stomach.

“Try regret, Lily.” Remus smirked at the three of us when Lily thanked him.

“I bet that’s what Aunt Effie said when you came out, Jaimy - OW!” He smacked me back right in the gut. Rubbing my stomach, I glared at him. “Didn’t your mother teach you not to hit girls?”

“Mum says boy or girl, if you can’t take it then don’t dish it.” James grinned widely before shoving a disgusting amount of eggs into his mouth.

“I doubt Aunt Effie would approve of you abusing me.” I muttered in my mug. Sirius chuckled next to me. He was close enough that I could feel as well as hear it. Goosebumps sprang up along my arm at the contact. I _really_ needed to get myself in check.

All of a sudden, there was shouting behind us. Everyone in the hall turned towards the Slytherin table where a few students were trying to get weird blobs off their faces or heads. Laughter broke out from the boys at the table. Turning to James, I looked at him suspiciously. “Your work?”

“We -” James began giggling too much to answer so Sirius took over. James' odd behavior last night was starting to make sense now.

“Charmed the eggs to -” Sirius let out a laugh as one student, who I was pretty sure was Evan Roiser, managed to peel the egg blob away for a moment only for it to attack him again. “Act like leeches.”

“They aren’t going to be hurt, are they?” Lily frowned at James. Who stopped laughing at her disapproving look.

“No. It’ll just give them hickies if anything.” James promised her. She looked more relaxed at his words. “Just a little fun for a Monday morning.”

“Bugger, we should get going,” Remus said with a glance at his watch. “I think Slughorn’s going to do that bezoar lesson you suggested, Syd.”

“Try not to get too _excited_ again, love. We don’t want you combusting over the use of bezoars,” Sirius joked, nudging my arm.

I squinted at him menacingly. “Ha ha. You know you never really thanked me for saving your ass from detention.”

“You got me into a different detention, I think that cancels it out.” He reasoned. We headed back towards the dorms, Tux weaving himself in and out of our legs. I noticed that he didn’t go near Peter though. Huh.

“I don’t think that how it works,” I shot back. “Besides, I never asked you to fight Dolphy.”

“Don’t let him hear you calling him that,” Remus warned. “He’s a bit touchy about his name.”

I grinned over at him. “Too late. I called him that to his face.”

“And almost caused _another_ fight,” James muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, I told you I had that under control.” I protested but it wasn’t too effective since I let out a huge yawn immediately after. 

Lily tilted her head at me. “You ok, Syd? Still not sleeping?”

“I got a little but woke up a few times. Weird dreams.” I shrugged, trying to play off her concern.

“I heard you talking in your sleep,” Marlene said slyly, throwing a wink at me. “Keep saying _someone’s_ name. Must have been some dream.”

My eyes widen and I glanced at Sirius who was watching me curiously. If _only_ it had been that kind of dream. I swallowed thickly, avoiding the gazes around me. “I don’t remember, just that they were weird. Couldn’t have been that good though if I can’t remember it in the morning.”

“You really should go see Madam Pomfrey, though. Sleep deprivation can cause all sorts of problems.” Lily began listing them with her fingers. “Irritability, depression, forgetfulness, clumsiness, concentration difficulties-”

“Wait, so if Syd slept she _wouldn’t_ be such a nutter?” James asked. I shoved him off balance in retaliation.

Lily sighed at him with disappointment. “It’s not a joke, James. She could get sick easier, it could lead to heart issues -”

“Lily,” I hooked my arm through hers as we exited the portrait hole and stepped into the common room. “I appreciate your concern but I’m fine. I haven’t been here that long, I’m still getting used to a different time zone. If it keeps up longer than a few more weeks, I promise I’ll go see Pomfrey about it.”

She squinted skeptically at me. “Really?”

“Yes, now let’s grab our things.” I pulled her up the stairs with Alice and Marlene behind us. “I can’t wait for Slughorn to tell everyone how I’m going to save Sirius’ life from love potions again.”

\---

“Ms. Rose, since you were so interested in bezoars the other week, would you please tell us what bezoars can be used for?” Professor Slughorn stood at the front of the room, watching me patiently. 

Luckily I just brushed up on bezoars the other night. Since I was getting my school work done ahead of time and I couldn’t safety wander the halls, I had been reading my textbooks to try and learn more. “It’s an antidote to most poisons when swallowed whole and also used in potions when preparing antidotes to common poisons.”

As I had been reading too, I realized that my comment about using it for love potions wasn’t what I was thinking of. In the books, Ron had been poisoned from a drink _after_ being dosed with a love potion. _But_ it _is_ used in the making of love potion antidotes. So I wasn’t completely off.

“Excellent answer. Today we will be making bezoars to restock our supplies. Bezoars are easy to make but involve powdering the goat’s stomach for a precise amount of time. Luckily, we have just enough time to do that.” Slughorn looked proud of himself, as if he’d planned to do this lesson all along. And by having us do the work, he wouldn’t have to.

With a wave of his wand, the instructions appeared on the board. Everyone began to copy them then gather their supplies. As I set down my ingredients, Severus shook his head at me and handed back a vial I’d just set down. “This one will dry the stomach out too fast. Use the powdered Chizpurfle claw. It’ll be more potent if it dries slower.”

Giving him a questioning look, I went back to the ingredient closet and switched the powders. The list had said to use powdered Doxy eggs, which is what I had initially grabbed. I trusted that Severus knew what he was talking about though and didn’t voice a concern.

We worked quietly. After sprinkling the powder, all we had to do was wait. The goat stomachs began to shrivel in front of us and I checked my watch to make sure we were good on the time. The instructions said it could be between 20 and 25 minutes but no longer.

“Why did you listen to me?” Sev asked quietly. He was doodling in his textbook and didn’t look at me.

“Hmm?” I played with a hangnail on my thumb, moving it back and forth with my pointer finger.

“You switched the ingredients without question. Why?” His eyebrows furrowed as he turned a page.

I shrugged, aware of his eyes flickering to me. “You seem to know what you’re doing. I trust you.”

The frown on his face deepened and he turned to face me. “I could’ve given you an ingredient that would kill you if you ingested that bezoar. You have no reason to trust me.”

“Because you’re a Slytherin?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Have I ever done anything to make you want to kill me?”

“Of course not -”

“Then why would you try now?” I tapped the potions book where his notes were and met his gaze. “Clearly you know what you’re doing. I don’t. I’m not an expert at this and I’ll take any help I can get. If you say that the claw powder will work better then it will.”

“You’re... _friends_ ,” He spat the word with a glare at the back of James and Sirius’ heads. “Might disagree with you.”

“You say that like it matters.” I crossed my arms, leaning back in the chair. “I make my own choices on who to trust. You’ve given me almost no reason not to trust you, so I do. You could’ve left me hanging that first day, when I scrambled to cover for you and Sirius fighting. You didn’t. You handed me the bezoar and helped me. _You_ had no reason to do that.”

“I didn’t think it was a fight worth having,” He muttered, turning back to his book.

“Neither did I,” I glanced over at him again. “Sirius can be...overprotective.”

Sev let out a snort at that. I tilted my head, giving him a look. “Overprotective. I think you mean possessive.”

My eyebrows went up at the accusation. Looking over at said boy, I could see he was checking on me. _Again_. Did I find him to be possessive? Honestly, I didn’t see it that way. Maybe from an outside perspective, it could come off like that but...Sirius didn’t try and control me. Unless it came to something he thought was dangerous. Even then it wasn't in a possessive way. I shook my head at Severus. “No. I mean overprotective. James is too. So am I. There’s a difference.”

“Really?” He drawled out the word, disbelief in his tone.

“Yes, really.” I argued, thinking back on Bellatrix yesterday. The urge to _protect_ Sirius was overwhelming. I didn’t even think about grabbing him, I just did it. My instincts had been screaming at me to hide him, run out of the building to stop her, _something_. “If anyone threatened to hurt those I love, I wouldn’t hesitate to stop them. By any means necessary. But I wouldn’t force someone to do something or try to control them. There’s a big difference.”

“Love is it?” The black hair boy sneered. I narrowed my eyes at his tone.

“Funny how that’s what you got from that. Not the fact that I would do _anything_ to protect my friends,” I checked my watch again. 5 more minutes. A few of the students around us had finished and were inspecting their bezoars. “There is one thing that makes me question trusting you though. Why are you hanging out with Lucious Malfoy and Bellatrix Black?”

He didn’t answer for a few moments. I looked over to see him glaring at the potions book in front of him. “You know them?”

“Haven’t met them in person yet but I know who they are. Who they...follow.” Sev’s hand clenched tightly. I was treading dangerous ground here. We were in a room full of people and I was hinting at something that wasn’t common knowledge. At least not from what I could tell. But I needed to know if he’d joined them. “Should I reconsider my choice to trust you?”

He looked over at me but I couldn’t read the look on his face. I met his eyes and raised an eyebrow challengingly, shooting a glance down at his forearm before meeting his eyes again. “Should I trust you, Sev?”

Turning away without an answer, Severus began to clean his bezoar. I glance down just in time to watch hand hit the 25 minute mark. Quickly, I put on a glove and shook off the powder from my bezoar, inspecting it to make sure there was no moisture left. It had shrunk to about a sixth of the size it had been when we’d started. Carefully cleaning off the stone, Slughorn walked by and complimented both of our bezoars.

Silently, we cleaned up. I placed my stone in a vial with my name on it, standing to leave and place the vial on Slughorn’s desk when Severus’ voice stopped me cold. “You can trust me. For now.”

\---

_“I killed Sirius Black! I killed Sirius Black!”_

Gasping, I sat up. Another nightmare. Different from the one I’d had the night before but just as intense. It _felt_ like I was in the room, the sound of Bellatrix’s voice ringing in my ears. Letting out a few deep breaths, I decided to head down to the common room. My homework was done, written while I tried to fall asleep before I’d fallen into the nightmare. It was now 3am and the entire tower was silent. Tiptoeing over a sleeping Tux, I softly padded out onto the staircase.

The common room fireplace was still lit, giving the whole room a glow. Sighing, I settled down on the couch and just stared into the blaze. Maybe I _should_ go see Pomfrey. The insomnia was manageable, the nightmares...not so much. They made me feel jittery, adrenaline running through me after waking up. I wouldn’t be able to help anyone if I couldn’t function from lack of sleep.

I heard a creak on the stairs and turned to see Sirius leaning in the doorway of the boys' staircase watching me. "Can't sleep either?"

"Nope." I sighed, leaning my head on the sofa.

“Let’s go for a walk. Maybe a little exercise will help you," He stepped around the couch and held his hand out to me. Glancing at it then him, I took it. His warm hand enveloping mine. What did I have to loose?

"Sure." He pulled me up and we walked out of the portrait hole, down the abandoned corridors, and into the night.

\---

"Sirius! It's like 2 degrees!" I whispered fiercely. We had ended up by the lake where Sirius proceeded to strip down to his underwear then jump into the water. The night was chilly and the water even chiller. I was probably exaggerating when I said 2 degrees but it _looked_ that cold.

"Where’s your Gryffindor sense of adventure, love?" He asked swimming around. Then splashed me. When I say splashed I don't mean a playful little splash, I mean he _drenched_ me. 

Gasping at the coldness of the water, I glared at him shivering. "You are the worst.”

“Come on, love. It’s not too cold. Trust me,” He backstroked a few feet away from me, waiting for my response. I was going to regret this. Sighing, I pulled off my sweats so I was down to my camisole and underwear. I could feel his gaze and was grateful for the darkness.

Before I could really think about my decision, I dove in. Opening my eyes underwater, I could see him looking around for me. Kicking up, I grabbed his ankle and pulled hard. I broke the surface after letting go to see him flailing around. He turned around when he heard my laughter and glared.

"Don't do that!" He scowled.

"Do what? This?" I asked and splashed him. He dove after me and I tried to swim away. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into his chest.

"Love, you can’t just pretend to pull me under. There are dangerous things in this lake." He growled into my ear.

"Then why the hell did you think it was a good idea to go _swimming_ in it?" I turned around so I was facing him, his arms still wrapped around me loosely. The closeness made my heart beat faster. Our feet kicked the water under us, keeping us afloat.

He gave me a smirk. “Wanted to see if you’d do it. Besides, swimming is an excellent way to exercise.”

“We also could’ve gone on a run or something.” I raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed with his answer. “If you were trying to get me out of my clothes, there was probably an easier way to do it.”

He barked out a laugh, head thrown back. The pale column of skin glistening in the soft moonlight. Shaking his head, he looked at me for a moment. “You’re right. As always. But _that_ was not my reason for getting you in here.”

Both eyebrows went up at this. “No?”

“I really did think swimming would be good exercise for you.” He shrugged, letting go of me to float on his back. “We could go fly but -”

“Nope, nope, swimming is a great idea.” I agreed quickly. He smirked over at me, still floating. I tilted my head at him. “I have a random question for you.”

“Ok, shoot.” He spread his arms out in the water, keeping himself in one place.

“What do you want to do after Hogwarts?” I was curious. He had money from his uncle so he didn’t really _have_ to work. But he didn’t seem like the kind of person who could sit around doing nothing.

Sirius was silent for a few moments, staring up at the moon. “Auror. I want to catch dark wizards, stop them from hurting others.”

“That’s...noble.” He let out a laugh and I looked at him confused. “What?”

“Your choice of word. _Noble_. My family is called the _Noble_ and Ancient House of Black.” He let out a snort. “Seems ironic that I would do something _actually_ noble with my life when I come from a family that’s the complete opposite.”

“Noble has two different meanings,” I said. He gave me a disbelieving look but I continued. “It can mean aristocratic or high-standing which is probably why your family uses it. The Blacks are an old pureblood line. _But_ it also means having high morals and personal qualities. Wanting to catch bad people and stop them, _that’s_ noble.”

“Other people would disagree with you,” He replied quietly. “They hear the name Black and run the other way. My name itself gives people a reason to think I have the lowest morals and personal qualities.”

“James didn’t. Or Remus.” I couldn’t add Peter to that. It just wasn’t something I felt comfortable with. “I didn’t.”

He righted himself and swam a few strokes closer to me. “No, you didn’t. Then again you really do lack any self-preservation.”

I splashed him as laughed. “I’m trying to be nice here.”

“I know, love. I just...” Sirius bit his lip for a moment. “There aren’t many people in my life who I truly care about. I would hate for something to happen to you because of who I am and how I feel about you.”

“Aw, you care about me. I think that’s the first time you’ve admitted that.” I joked, grinning at him. He opened his mouth to argue but I cut him off with a hand. “Sirius, we all have a light and dark side in us. What matters is the side we choose to act on. _That’s_ who we are. Not a name or our families. Our actions.”

We fell silent and I thought about my words for a second. I could’ve _slapped_ myself. I just fucking _quoted_ Sirius Black to Sirius _fucking_ Black. I am an _idiot_. Really. Glancing over at him, he didn’t seem to notice my internal berating. He was on his back again, floating and gazing up at the stars.

I wouldn’t take those words back though. I meant them. And I hoped he’d take them to heart.

I swam closer to him, gently touching his arm to pull him out of his trance. “Come on, let's get out of here before your lovely Minnie finds us in our underwear."

"Ah, Minnie. I will get her to realize her love for me one day!" He declared. I laughed as we started swimming to shore.

"The day McGonagall admits her love for you is the day pigs fly." I joked but Sirius didn't answer. Not even a laugh. I turned around in the water but it was empty. "Sirius?"

He definitely wasn't on the surface. I took a breath and dove under. The water was dark as I looked around but I could see Sirius a few feet below me. Being dragged down to the bottom. By a _mermaid_. Crap. 

I kicked down and swam after them, pulling myself deeper and deeper. Sirius struggled to get away but the creature’s hand was wrapped tightly around his ankle. I managed to grasp his hand when another mermaid came up to my face and hissed at me, her hand digging into his shoulder possessively. 

A hand wrapped around my own ankle and I looked down to see a third mermaid had joined us, intent on bringing me down with them. Sirius was losing consciousness and I would too if I didn't hurry. Using my free hand, I pulled Sirius' wand out from his waistband and thrust it towards the mermaid at his shoulder. 

She shrieked in terror, despite me not actually using magic, and swam away quickly. I did the same thing to the two hooked onto our feet and both mermaids instantly let go, swimming deeper into the lake. I grabbed Sirius around the middle and kicked towards the light. So to speak. We broke the surface and I gasped for air but Sirius just bobbed there, turning bluer by the second. I stowed his wand in down the front of me and kicked for the shore as fast as I could. Luckily, we were only a couple feet away. My feet finally touched the bottom and I heaved Sirius to shore, then knelt down and started to pump his chest.

"Breathe, you idiot, breathe." I pinched his nose and blew air into his lungs. Nothing. 

“You are _not_ allowed to die yet.” Desperately, I tried again. My hands were shaking in terror at the thought of losing him. I _couldn’t_ lose him. I was supposed to have more _time._

As I went to pump his chest one more time, he started to cough up water violently. I breathed a shaky sigh of relief. He spit out the last of the water and groaned as I wiped his hair from his face.

"That's the last time I go swimming in there." He said hoarsely and hacked out a laugh. I collapsed onto his chest, my forehead leaning on him and I turned a bit so I could see his face. Lifting my hand, I wiped away my wet hair from my face but saw blood covering it. I shot up and looked over Sirius.

"Sirius, you're bleeding." I said. He had deep claw marks on his shoulder and ankle. Plus he was still blue. I remembered my mother telling me hypothermia stories and started to panic a bit. "We need to get inside."

I threw his clothes at him and hastily pulled on my own. We managed to get up but I had to half-drag Sirius back up to the castle. As I started heading to the hospital wing, he stopped me abruptly and I almost collapsed under his weight.

"No, we can't. Poppy will hex us." He protested.

"You’re bleeding a _lot_ right now, Sirius." I countered, his blood had soaked through his shirt and mine from his shoulder. We were also leaving a trail of blood behind us. My leg was starting to fall asleep, making me stumble.

"Moony can fix it." He groaned, he was still bluish and it was scaring me. "Besides, merpeople injuries can't be fixed by magic. I think the poison will-"

"Poison?!"

"Merlin, what do they _teach_ you over in the States? Merpeople have poison in the talons. Just need the -” His legs almost gave out completely as we reached the portrait, his weight getting heavier on my shoulder. “Antidote. And Moony to bandage this."

The Fat Lady drunkenly berated us for waking her up before we emerged into the empty common room. "Unless Remus knows how to sew, I don’t think this one will close up any time soon. Come on, I'll do it." 

We headed up to the boys staircase as quietly as we could. Sirius started to loose feeling in his left arm by the time we made it to the bathroom door. We were lucky that there were two doors going into the bathrooms, one in the hall and one in the dorms. Otherwise, we’d wake up all the other Marauders which might cause the entire tower to wake up. James wasn’t exactly the most discrete or quiet person. 

"Moony has a kit in his cabinet, far right." Sirius groaned as I set him on a bench in the middle of the bathroom. I dashed over, rooting through the cabinet to see a satchel filled with labeled jars. When I walked back to Sirius, he hadn't moved. He looked less blue but too pale for my comfort. Red streamed out of his shoulder cut a little too fast. I put the kit next to him and began to rip off his clothes.

"Woah, Syd. I thought you were going to sew me, not shag me." He mumbled.

"You need to get warm or you'll catch hypothermia and go into shock. Me too. Now get in the shower-”

“I need the antidote first. Can’t feel my legs.” Sirius gestured to the satchel.

“Crap.” I looked through the box, reading labels until I found a lavender potion labeled _‘Antidote - Merperson’_. Good thing Remus marked them so simply. Then again, knowing who else used this box I could see why it was labeled that way. Popping off the cork, I poured the amount the label said to into Sirius’ mouth and watched as he became more conscious. “Better?”

“Much.” He said, flexing his arm and stretching his legs out in front of him. My left leg gave out then and I fell to the floor, catching myself on the bench. Sirius picked up the vial and held it to my lips. “You too, love.”

I swallowed the potion, feeling pins and needles in my leg as it entered my system. It worked quickly, I could stand about a minute after taking it.

“Ok, shower. Get your clothes off, get in the shower, and warm up. Hurry." I demanded. Once he was in only his underwear once again, I shoved him into a stall. I hopped in another stall and stripped in there, warming myself up. 

About 10 minutes later, I stuck my head out of the curtain to see a towel hanging on the hook next to my stall. Grabbing it, I dried myself off a bit and wrapped it around myself. I emerged to see Sirius looking a much healthier color, but his cut was still bleeding and he was standing in only a pair of boxers. I averted my eyes to his face, trying not to blush. Stupid, good-looking wizard. 

He threw me a pair of red flannel pajama pants and a black t-shirt. "Here. I only had one pair of pajamas left in here and the blokes already took theirs so..."

"Thanks." I muttered. I turned to go back into the stall to put the clothes on but Sirius pulled on my elbow to stop me.

"Watch your leg." He said, his hand still on my arm.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"Your leg. You’re still bleeding." He pointed down. I looked to see blood running down my leg from the claw marks on my shin. 

"Well, let's get yours patched up first then I'll get mine." I stepped away from Sirius' hand and into the stall, carefully putting on the pants and then the shirt. So much for not stealing any more of Sirius’ clothing. 

I rolled up part of the pant leg so the blood wouldn't get on his pants then pulled the curtain back. Sirius was sitting on the bench again. I walked over to a cabinet and grabbed a towel, wetting it at the sink. I made my way back over to Sirius and began to clean up the blood on his shoulder which was still bleeding too much. The cuts on his ankle seemed to be fine. They looked as if they were already starting to scab. Placing one of my hands on his shoulder, I used my other to wipe the blood away. Once it was clean, I opened up the kit and took out a potion labeled _‘Antiseptic’_. Pouring a little onto a clean part of the towel, I sponged his shoulder with it as he winced in pain.

"Sorry." I muttered.

"It's not your fault. Bloody merpeople." He growled. The cut was deep. It would need to be stitched up, just like I thought. Digging around the kit, I pulled out a needle and thread. Threading the needle and placing it aside, I looked for something to numb his shoulder. Nothing. 

"There’s nothing to numb it. This is going to hurt." He glanced up at me, eyeing the needle.

“Have you done this before?” The worry evident in his voice.

“Not personally but I’ve seen it done.” I bit my lip and looked between him and the needle. “We can still go see Pom -”

“And get detention for the rest of the year?” Sirius scoffed at the thought. “We’ll be lucky if that’s all we get.”

I frowned at him, confused over his words. “Sirius, I know we weren’t supposed to be in the lake but _how_ much weren’t we supposed to be in it?”

Avoiding my gaze, he shrugged then muttered almost too low for me to hear. “Uh, Forbidden Forest level of not supposed to be there.”

“Jesus,” I groaned. “Fine. Grab the bench, this is going to hurt.”

He nodded and pursed his lips. I leaned forward a bit and pulled his skin together. He let out a deep breath and I plunged the needle in. Letting out a deep groan, he gripped the bench tightly. I froze for a moment, apologizing. "Sorry."

"It's ok. Just hurry." He muttered. I tried to work as quickly as I could but he kept squirming. Finally, I smacked his bare chest. 

"Stop moving!"

"Bloody hell, love! I’m not doing it on purpose, it hurts!" He growled.

"Yeah, well it's gonna hurt more if I have to take it out and redo it, so stop moving!" He settled down after that little outburst and I finished quickly. Dabbed the wound with antiseptic potion again, I wrapped it tightly with bandages. "There you go. The stitches should probably stay in for a week."

"How do you know how to do this?" He asked, gesturing at his shoulder. I stepped back, cleaning off the needle and putting away the supplies.

"My m-aunt. She's a nurse." Crap, I had to watch it. As far as he knew, my mom was a witch and witches aren't nurses. He looked at me questioningly. "Muggle healer."

"Hmm.” I turned around at the sink to see him only a few inches from me. “You’re still bleeding.”

I looked down to see he was right. “Oh, I - _Sirius!_ ”

Grasping my hips, he lifted me onto the sink with ease. He pulled the rag from my grasp, knelt down, and began to clean it up. I looked at him in amusement and he just smirked up at me. "I know how to do some of this. Moony taught us."

"Thanks." I muttered. My adrenaline rush from my daring rescue was gone and my tiredness was hitting me like a ton of bricks. My bloody leg laid in Sirius' lap as he cleaned it up, his hand on the back of my calf keeping it steady.

"It doesn't look too bad, just needs a bandage." He observed, wiping it clean.

"Good. It'd be hard to stitch it up myself." 

"You don't think I could do it?" He asked smirking up at me.

"Have you ever sewn anything in your life?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and he shook his head. "That's why. Can you pour some of that antiseptic potion on it? Who knows what those things were carrying."

"So bossy," He muttered. I hissed as the potion hit my leg. Sirius wrapped the wound efficiently, rolling the pant leg down, and standing once it was secure. He pour some of the antiseptic potion on his own cut ankle then leaned against the counter. “All better.”

Swinging my leg gently, I gave him a look. “Remind me again why I trust you? Dragging me into dangerous lakes -”

“Oi, I distinctly remember you diving in all by yourself.” He countered, moving to stand in front of me. 

“After being peer pressured by _you_ -” I jumped off the counter but being the insane klutz that I am, I slipped on the tile floor and went flying backwards. Sirius caught me around the waist, pulling me close to him. I looked up at him, quite aware of our chests pressed against each other. Our faces were only inches apart, I could see different shades of gray in his irises. My hands were splayed against his chest and I could feel his heart beating faster. 

“Mate,” James’ voice startled us. Sirius let go of me immediately and I quickly pulled my hands off his chest. “a tie - _something_ \- so I don’t walk in on things like this. Same goes for you, Syd.”

“Prongs, it’s not - mate, it’s not what it looks like.” Sirius was blushing more than I’d ever seen him do, going down his chest in a wave. I _really_ shouldn’t be so mesmerized by it but I couldn’t help staring. “We just - uh -”

“It _looks_ like I should go find a potion to burn my eyes out.” James had his hand covering his face but stood in the doorway, continuing this embarrassing moment.

“Jaimy, stop being so dramatic, we have clothes on.” I sighed, crossing my arms. James peeked through his fingers to confirm what I said and I rolled my eyes, trying my best to play off my pounding heart. It was a miracle Sirius couldn’t hear it trying to escape. “Sirius was almost drowned by a mermaid.”

“Oi! I thought we weren’t telling anyone!” Sirius whispered fiercely at me.

I turned my cross-armed body to him with a raised eyebrow. “When did we say that? I thought you just didn’t want Pomfrey to know, I assumed you’d tell the Marauders the first chance you got.”

“You’re not -” James gestured between us, at a lost for words. Or reluctant to say what he _thought_ we were doing. “But - I mean, I’m not _against_ the two of you together, actually it would be about bloody time, I just don’t need to _see_ you two together -”

“Prongs,” Sirius groaned with a hand over his face. “Shut it.”

James’ face froze, jaw dropping open. I shot a confused look at Sirius who seemed just as lost. James pointed at us. “Wait. You were in the _lake?!_ ”

Sirius’ eyes bugged out at his tone. “Prongs, we just -”

“Sydney, would you let us get ready for Quidditch?” The chill in James’ voice actually scared me. He was intently glaring at Sirius who had turned extremely pale. Glancing between them, I debating leaving. 

“James, I went in on my own. Sirius didn’t -” I tried but James cut me off.

“Syd, go.” The dismissive words shocked me. I hadn’t seen James this mad and it worried me. With one more glance at Sirius, I quickly made my way out of the bathroom. I hesitated on the landing, thinking about eavesdropping, but decided to just head to my dorm. It had been a long night and I’d be lucky if I got even an hour of sleep before classes.

\---

Sydney sprinted out of the bathroom and Sirius watched her go. He turned to meet James’ furious gaze. “Mate -”

“You took her into the _lake?!_ Have you gone completely _mad?!_ ” James spat, his eyes burning a hole into Sirius from behind his glasses. “And then almost _drowned?!_ I know you’ve been fancying Syd since she got here -”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about that -”

“But this is a new level of madness. Even for you.”

“Oi, what do you mean by that?”

“Considering you almost _died_ , what the bloody hell do you think I mean?”

“We went for a swim! I didn’t think -”

“That’s right you _didn’t_ think. Cause if you _were_ thinking, you would’ve never gone _swimming in the bloody lake!_ ” James ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “How many times did we get attacked by something in that stupid lake? _Way_ too many times, Padfoot. And you thought it was a good idea to take _my cousin_ in there?!”

“I was trying to help her!”

“By almost getting her killed?!”

“Blimey, Prongs! Clearly I wasn’t thinking straight! I _can’t_ when she’s around! Every time I see her, all I can think about is making her happy and getting her to smile. It’s driving me mad! And she wasn’t the one who almost died! _I_ was!” Sirius threw a hand towards the door. “If Syd wasn’t there, I probably _would’ve_ died!”

“Back up there,” James rubbed the bridge of his nose before giving Sirius a serious look. “You’re sounding like me when I talk about Lily - Godric’s balls.”

James’ voice had gone hoarse at his realization. He stared at his best mate as if he’d never seen him before. Sirius had already come to terms with what James was figuring out but it felt invasive, having his feelings known by his best mate about his cousin. James ran a hand through his hair again. He took a few steps and sat down heavily on the bench. “You’re in love with Syd.”

No question. James said it as a fact. Sirius nodded silently, crossing his arms. He watched James carefully. “I can’t...James, she’s all I can think about. I don’t know how you don’t turn into a complete nutter around Lily.”

James gave him a pained smile. “Years of practice.”

“I’m sorry I convinced her to go into the lake.” Sirius sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. It’s not like I don’t know how dangerous it is.”

James snorted. “You think? That’s why I was so pissed at you. After being dragged under there by merpeople _and_ grindylows, you’d think you’d learn your lesson.”

Sirius frowned for a moment, thinking back on those incidences. They’d done reckless things for years, hell they ran with a bloody werewolf once a month as illegal animangi, but they’d scraped themselves out of every single situation with only bruises and a couple of near-death experiences. The grindylow incident was one of those near-death experiences. The little buggers had ambushed him and Peter, almost drowning the smaller boy. “Prongs, what spell would you use on someone who drowned?”

James’ mouth turned down at the odd question. “I’d _Accio_ the water out. Why?”

“Sydney didn’t,” James shot him a skeptical look as Sirius ran a hand over his jaw in thought. “She had my wand but she didn’t use it. Hell, I don’t even think she had her wand on her. She pumped the water out. Like a Muggle.”

“But...Pads, that might not have worked,” James replied quietly. He furrowed his brows in concern. “You might not have made it. Why would she do that when she had a wand right there?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius and James stared at each other for a moment, thinking about Sydney’s actions. “It’s just odd.”

“Her dad’s muggle, right? Could’ve just been a reaction. We don’t know that much about her past. Someone could’ve taught her the muggle way before she learned magic.” James offered.

“She did mention her aunt’s a nurse, a muggle healer.” Sirius muttered. He shook his head with a sigh. “But magic would’ve been easier. And safer.”

James stood up and clapped him on the shoulder, meeting his eyes with a serious look. “The important thing is that you _are_ alive, despite being a tosser. Now, get your kit on. Just because you almost drowned doesn’t mean I’m letting you skip practice.”

“Nutter,” Sirius muttered before heading back into their dorm.

-

I groaned as I felt someone poking me. Fuck that finger. I will cut it off. Pulling my blankets further over my head, I whined at the owner of the finger. "Whaaaaat?"

"Where were you last night?" I heard Lily ask. I peeked out to see Lily sitting on my bed, peering down at me.

"Saving Sirius from a mermaid." I grumbled. Lily didn't answer and I looked to see her glaring at me. "What?"

"That's a ridiculous excuse. No one would need to be saved from a mermaid, we’re not allowed in the lake. Now where were you?" She asked again, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, I’m pretty aware of that fact _now_. Sirius forgot to mention that until we were almost dragged to the bottom.” I flung an arm over my face, trying to block out some light but kept my eyes cracked enough to see her jaw drop.

“You went _into_ the lake? Have you lost your _mind?_ ” She hissed at me. I didn’t see the need to whisper though. We were the only ones in the dorm. "What _happened_?"

“We couldn't sleep so we went for a walk which turned into a swim where Sirius was kidnapped by a mermaid. I took him back, dragged him to shore, and gave him mouth to mouth cause he wasn't breathing. Can I go back to sleep now?” I tried to bury myself under the blankets again but Lily pulled them off roughly.

“Sydney, you could be _expelled_ for going in the lake!” She scolded me.

“Yes, like I said, very aware of that _now_. Trust me, I’m not going back in there.” I sat up, finally giving up on going back to sleep. Lily didn’t seem like she’d let this go any time soon.

"And you're wearing Sirius' clothes. _Again_." Her face screwed up suspiciously.

"Well, it was change or get hypothermia," I tried to pull the covers back but Lily held tight. Sighing, I leaned up on one elbow. “Was there a reason you were waking me up so early?”

Lily raised one eyebrow at me. “We have class in 20 min -”

“ _WHAT?!_ ” I screeched, launching out of bed. I raced towards the bathroom but tripped over a stray shoe on the way, landing on my ass. I could practically feel Lily rolling her eyes behind me. “Why didn’t you wake me sooner?”

Lily leaned against the bathroom doorway, watching as I scrambled around. “I tried. Four times. You didn’t even flinch.”

She handed me my uniform as I ripped off Sirius’ pajamas. “Thanks.”

“I brought you some coffee and already let Tux out,” Calmly, she picked up the discarded clothing and gave me another look. “So _nothing_ happened between you and Sirius?”

Blushing, I pulled my hair up and avoided her eyes. “You mean besides him almost drowning? No.”

She hummed her disbelief before walking back out to the dorm room to put the clothing on my bed. I came back out, a little less panicked and gratefully picked up the mug on my bedside table. Lily sat on my bed and I joined her. “What’s this really about? Do you like Sirius or something?”

The bark of laughter startled me. “No, not at all. I’m just...surprised. The two of you are dancing around each other all the time, I keep waiting for _something_ to happen.”

I eyed her suspiciously. “James said something similar when he walked in on us cleaning up.”

“Potter’s not as dumb as he looks,” Lily smiled softly. After a moment, she pursed her lips together then shot me a glance. “We’d be happy for you though. If you did decide to be with Sirius. You’d be perfect for him.”

I brought the mug down from my lips and answered her wryly. “Good to know I have everyone’s approval for _nothing_. Sirius and I are just friends.”

Lily rolled her eyes at my denial and shook her head. “We better head down or we’ll be late for Transfiguration.”

As we walked down to class, I thought over Lily and James’ reactions to Sirius and I being together. Lord knows I _wanted_ to be with him, it was practically impossible not to be drawn to him. But...I really didn’t think I _should_ be with him. My heart and my brain were warring over Sirius and I wasn’t sure who I was rooting for to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are all nutters and I love them so much. I'm currently debating rereading the series bc on one hand - I could get _ideas_ and then on the other hand - distraction. 
> 
> I also just ordered #3, #4, and #5 of the 20th anniversary hardcovers so it's a MAYBE. They're so pretty, I can't help myself.


	14. If Love Had a Heart

I realized while I was sitting in Transfiguration, that I hadn’t really seen Dumbledore in a while. Granted, I literally _saw_ him at every single meal but I hadn’t met with him except when I was hurt in the forest. This struck me as odd.

A girl shows up out of no where with information about the future, _your_ future, and you don’t want to find out everything that you can? Me, I would've insisted on answers as soon as possible but Dumbledore had barely even looked at me. I was just another student.

I guess I was going to have to find him. Unfortunately, I had no idea where his office was. The castle was a maze. _Literally._ The damn staircases moved without warning and put you in a completely different spot in the castle than where you were headed. This morning, Lily and I had been 5 minutes late to class because the stupid staircase decided to move at the last second and we ended up 2 hallways farther than we needed to be.

McGonagall might be able to help though. She was pretty close with Dumbledore and might be able to help me set up a meeting. There was still a basilisk hiding in the basement and no way for me to suggest to Kettleburn to go hunting without looking suspicious. I had figured that one: Kettleburn was the most experienced in handling dangerous creatures and two: he’d be elated to find a basilisk. But if _Dumbledore_ recruited him then no one would question why the 17 year old girl who had only been there for 3 weeks knew about the giant killer snake.

See? I’m working on my problems.

I’m just avoiding the ones that make me forget to breath sometimes. And smell really good. Especially after Quidditch practice.

McGonagall finished up our lesson and everyone began packing up. I leaned towards Lily, trying to be subtle. “I want to talk to McGonagall about the lesson. I’ll meet you guys at the Hall.”

“Alright, see you there.” Lily was the last one to go, following Alice and Marlene out the door.

I walked up to McGonagall’s desk with my bag over my shoulder. “Hey, Professor?”

The stern looking woman turned from where she was waving the board clean. “Yes, Ms. Rose?”

“I was wondering if I’d be able to meet with Professor Dumbledore. I haven’t been able to find his office and I wanted to ask him a few things,” I said as casually as I could.

She raised one dark eyebrow at me. “I can inform him that you’d like to meet.”

“Thanks, Professor.” I turned away but her voice stopped me.

“Would this have anything to do with your new friends?” I turned back to see her watching me carefully. “Ms. Rose, I make it a point to know about all the students in my school, especially in my house. And I also make it a point to do everything in my power to protect them. I care for these students as if they were my own. Is there something I should be aware of?”

“Don’t let Sirius hear you say that, he’ll let it go to his head and it’s already big enough as it is.” I smirked at her and her lips twitched up slightly. Point for me. “How much _do_ you know?”

“Enough,” McGonagall said vaguely. I crossed my arms, leaning against the desk Sirius and James had vacated a few minutes ago. “You should rethink the nose ring. It makes you look like a hooligan.”

My jaw dropped. A _nose ring?_ What the - “You met future me.”

“I did. Like I said, the nose ring wasn’t your best decision. The black hair suits you quiet well though.” Well fuck _me._ Another person I had dropped in on. I _really_ needed to make a list. “Now, if you’d answer my question. I really don’t enjoy repeating myself, Ms. Rose.”

“Uh, well,” My finger began playing with the hangnail on my thumb as I tried to put this lightly. “There may be a massive killer snake in the basement? I don’t think it’s a danger right this second but -”

“ _What?!_ ” Her disbelief rang through the stone room loudly. McGonagall stared at me with wide eyes.

“Basilisk. In the basement. I was going to tell Dumbledore but uh, it’s been a little overwhelming being here. Kinda got sidetracked.” I muttered, not looking at her. I bit my lip and looked up to see her with a hand rubbing the bridge of her nose. “We should also keep the fangs for future use.”

“ _We?_ ” She gave me a heated glance. Quickly, I corrected myself.

“Well, whoever goes down there. I’m guessing it’ll be Professor Kettleburn and Professor Dumbledore. I just meant we in a...general sense.” I shrugged with a wince. “I...should head to lunch.”

“I’ll speak to the Headmaster immediately. Expect a summons to his office later.” With a wave of her hand, she walked around the desk.

“Uh, can it be after dinner?” She turned and raised an eyebrow at the question. I answered quickly. “Remus is tutoring Emmeline Vance this afternoon.”

“And your presence is needed?” McGonagall’s voice sounded skeptical.

“She’s a little nervous around the guys. I figured if I was there then she’d feel more comfortable and actually learn something.”

The professor cocked her head slightly, a thoughtful look on her face. “After dinner then. Do not be late, Ms. Rose.”

\--- 

I stretched out onto my stomach beneath the large beech tree, opening up my DADA book as Emmeline and Remus began their tutoring. Sirius thumped down next to me, laying down on his back and closed his eyes. Lily and James were having a meeting with McGonagall about Head Boy and Girl things, Alice had disappeared as soon as Defense was over, and Marlene and Peter sat with us doing their own work quietly. Tux laid curled up in front of Sirius and I, already asleep.

“Why don’t you do that tonight with us, love?” Sirius asked, arms behind his head. I made the mistake of looking over at him and got distracted by the pale column of his neck. “Love?”

“I have a meeting with Dumbledore later,” I tore my eyes away and focused them onto my book but caught the furrow of his brow before I did.

“What for?” He still hadn’t opened his eyes, enjoying the bright sunshine.

“Just to check on me.” I turned a page in my book, searching for an answer to my homework. “Being a transfer and all. Random question but how do you think I’d look with a nose ring?”

His eyes sprung open and his eyebrows almost flew off his face. “A nose ring?”

“Yeah, a nose ring.” I smirked at his examining look. He was quiet for a few moments, turning his head to the side to see me better.

“It’d suit you,” He answered truthfully. “Thinking of getting one?”

“Not for a while but it’s a thought.”

“Hmmm,” Sirius sounded sleepy. Then again, we _had_ almost died about 12 hours ago and he went straight to Quidditch practice then classes. I was exhausted myself but at least I managed to get two hours of sleep before Lily woke me. I wrote out the answer I’d been looking for and heard a light snore next to me. I smiled softly, continuing to work on my homework.

A while later, I finally finished and glanced up to see Remus helping Emmeline with a wand motion. Her face was bright red as Remus moved her hand. He couldn’t see it, being so much taller than her, but it was cute watching her try and focus. Once he’d guided her through the motions several times, he had her try it alone.

Emmeline proceeded to do the motion multiple times and was apparently doing it correctly. Remus smiled. “Very good, Emmeline. See? You’ve already got the hang of it.”

“Emmy. Emmeline is what my mother calls me when I done something she doesn’t approve of.” Emmy quietly corrected. My stomach dropped. _Emmy_. My Emmy was home. Hopefully not worrying about where the hell _I_ was -

“Are you ready to try the spell, Emmy?” Remus asked, using her preferred nickname.

Biting her lip, she looked around worriedly. “Could you try it first? Just so I make sure I’ve got it?”

“Of course,” Remus pulled out his wand, standing next to her. “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ”

A silver wolf unfurled from his wand, bounding around in a circle before coming to rest in front of him. I sat up, interested in their lesson now that I knew what they were doing. 

Remus’ patronus dissipated into the air and he turned to Emmeline, waiting for her to try. Taking a deep breath, she moved her wand as she said the incantation and a thin wisp of silver came out of the tip. Dejected, Emmy turned to Remus who was smiling at her. “That was great!”

“But...I didn’t make a patronus.” Emmy’s voice wobbled a little and I saw Remus’ eyes soften.

“It takes a lot of practice to conjure a corporeal patronus. Don’t be discouraged because you didn’t do it this time. Merlin, it took me about two years before I could do a full corporeal.” He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged.

“Two and a half,” A groggy voice interjected next to me. I looked over to see Sirius semi-awake. “It took me three years.”

I tilted my head at the sleepy boy. His eyes were still closed and he seemed to fall back asleep. I couldn’t be positive though. Emmy’s voice made me turned back towards them. “What about you, Sydney?”

“Hey, if I call you Emmy, you’re going to have to call me Syd,” I joked. “I’ve never made a full corporeal patronus.”

Which was true. I’ve also never made a _non_ -corporeal patronus because I’ve never done the spell. I wasn’t lying, I just wasn’t telling the whole truth.

“Come on, Syd. Try it out,” Remus gestured for me to stand and join them. Sighing, I pushed myself up and walked the few steps to them. “Just remember to think happy thoughts.”

“Whatever you say, Peter Pan,” He smirked at the joke and waited for me to perform the spell. I let a large breath out and mimicked Emmy’s wand motion, thinking of the last vacation playing spoons with my family. It had been one of the happiest moments of my life, a time where my sisters and I all got along for an extended period. Oddly though I got sidetracked, my eyes strayed to Sirius’ form lying on the ground and I couldn’t help the happiness I felt just _looking_ at the dark haired boy. My thoughts turned from a fun family vacation to Sirius. Before I could loose that feeling, I cast the spell. “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ”

A silver wisp trailed out of my wand, forming into a...a dog. It was around the size of Tux and ran around in a circle just as Remus’ had done. Spotting Tux, it’s physical twin, it bounded over to nudge him. Tux, surprised, jolted awake and barked. The patronus imitated him and wagged it's tail. 

Peter and Marlene watched as the two dogs ran in a circle around them, laughing at the animals. Sirius’ eyes finally opened and sat up to see what was happening. When his gaze landed on my patronus, his eyes went wide.

My patronus ran back towards me and dissolved into the air just as Tux pounced, trying to tackle the patronus. Grinning, I leaned down to give him a good pat on his side. Remus gave me a skeptical look. “You’ve never made a full patronus before today?”

“No,” I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Must be my lucky day.”

Emmy gave me an excited expression. “That was amazing, Syd! I hope mine will be as cool as yours. Oh! And yours too, Remus. I didn’t mean to say yours wasn’t brilliant, I just -”

“Thanks, Emmy.” I cut her off, hoping to save her the embarrassment of rambling. I had way too much experience in that department. “You two should keep practicing. I bet you’ll get it in no time.”

She thanked me before turning to Remus to ask more questions about producing a full patronus. I walked back over towards my seat and joined Sirius in the grass. He was still staring at me. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” He said quickly, shaking his head. Running a hand through his hair, he glanced behind me at Remus and Emmy then met my eyes again. “Nice patronus.”

“Thanks,” I scratched Tux’s head as he joined us, butting his head into my shoulder. “Hey, what’s your patronus?”

“OI! You lot will never guess what we’re doing!” James exclaimed as he threw himself down onto the ground between us. Lily sighed loudly before taking a seat as well. “McGonagall said we’re having a ball! Fancy dress, dancing, the whole bit. And Lily flower and I get to plan it!”

Lily sighed again, although it seemed half-hearted. “Don’t call me Lily flower, Potter.”

“Lilikins? Lily pad?” James grinned goofily at her. “My one true love?”

“You’re insufferable,” The jab had no bite to it, just a reaction to James’ ridiculousness. Actually, I think I could see a faint blush on her cheeks. Lily didn’t even seemed like she minded the nicknames, she just didn’t want to give James the satisfaction of knowing she liked them. Interesting. “And we all know your one true love is Quidditch.”

“She’s right, mate,” Sirius laid back down in the grass, stretching out. “If you were allowed to, you’d probably date your broom.”

James sighed wistfully, putting a hand dramatically on his heart. “She’s the most beautiful broom to exist. Always listens to my woes, wants to be around me all the time -”

Marlene chucked her quill at James’ head. “She’s an inanimate object, stop writing poetry about her.”

“What’s this about _you_ planning something that doesn’t involve pranking Slytherins?” Remus asked, taking a seat next to me as Emmy took one on his other side. “Let me rephrase that, what is _Lily_ planning?”

James gapped at him. “I am offended, Moony.”

“Beginning of February,” Lily answered Remus, ignoring the pitiful look from James. “Since there are no Quidditch games and only one Hogsmead visit all month, Dumbledore wants to do something to ‘lighten the winter chill’ or some nonsense like that.”

“You don’t sound excited,” Marlene commented, pushing her homework aside. “Why? Why are you not excited? We can get _gowns_ , Lily. It’ll be _brilliant_.”

Lily sounded annoyed when she answered. “On top of all the Head Girl duties, our studies, getting ready for NEWTS, it’s just one more thing to do.”

“You know we’ll help you out wherever we can, Lils.” I gave her a supportive hand on her forearm. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“Oi! I’m right here!” Jaimy threw his hands up in agitation. “Head Boy, remember? Lily is _not_ alone and I am bloody amazing at planning things!”

I bit my lip to keep from laughing at James’ outburst. He wasn’t _wrong_. Sirius had told me some of their pranks and it seemed that Jaimy was behind most of the planning. The chaotic, Quidditch-obsessed kid was apparently a methodical planner as well. “Ok then, what are your ideas, Jaimy?”

He crossed his legs and turned his whole body to face me, face very serious. His fingers began to count out his themes. “Winter wonderland, starry night, we _could_ do a Valentine’s theme but that would be -” He gagged at the idea. “a masquerade -”

Lily’s head shot up. “That would be wicked. A masquerade. We could require masks, gowns, tuxes, -” Tux looked over at her expectantly. She gave him a scratch on his head. “- decorate in black and gold.”

“See?” James preened a bit, proud of himself for impressing Lily. “I can come up with good ideas.”

“Are all the years invited?” Emmy asked quietly, giving Lily a hopeful look.

The redhead grinned at her. “Yes, McGonagall made it clear that every year will be allowed to come. Now, the house elves can take care of the food but we should still think of some special dishes for this.”

And the planning began in earnest. Lily wrote down ideas and everyone discussed different items that would need to be done for this ball. It was strange though. They didn’t seem that surprised that there would be a ball. The only one that happened during Harry’s time was the Yule Ball and that was because of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Why would Dumbledore insist on one _this_ year?

By the time we headed in for dinner, the list was _long_. It was still months until the actual ball but Lily seemed more excited now that she had an idea about what she needed to do. And James looked excited now that _Lily_ was excited. It was adorable. I walked between Sirius and Remus on the way up, listening to their chatter. I realized something though as Tux bumped into my leg.

Sirius never did tell me what his patronus was.

\---

Glancing over my shoulder, I made sure I was alone in the corridor. One of the ghosts passed through a wall a few feet down the hallway but other than that, not a soul was around. The gargoyle was _massive_. Much bigger than I had anticipated. Hunched over, it was a head taller than me with large stone wings. It seemed as if it were watching me.

“Chocolate frogs.” I said as clearly as I could. Instantly, the gargoyle leapt aside to reveal a revolving stone staircase leading up. Sort of like an escalator. I walked up the stairs silently, coming to the top where an oak door stood. Knocking firmly, I heard someone call for me to enter.

Dumbledore’s office was...interesting. Circular and _filled_ with different contraptions. When I’d been here a few weeks before, I hadn’t really inspected the room. Portraits littered the walls as well as tall bookshelves bursting with books and rolls of parchment. Fawkes rested on his perch next to Dumbledore’s solid desk and there were a lot of tables scattered through the room that held odd looking devices. A little alcove had a blue light emitting from it. Stepping closer, I saw it was the Pensieve with swirls of bluish white.

“Ah, Ms. Rose. See, Minerva? I told you she would not be late,” Dumbledore’s gravelly voice said behind me. I whipped around to see both professors entering the room with Professor Kettleburn behind them. “Take a seat, Ms. Rose. Lemon drop?”

“No, I’m good.” I slowly sat in one of the chairs next to a...crystal ball? Why would Dumbledore have one of those? Gray clouds swirled around in a hypnotic pace.

McGonagall’s Scottish brogue pulled me out of the trace. “Ms. Rose, we need to know everything you know about the Chamber of Secrets.”

I glanced cautiously at Kettleburn. As far as I knew, he wasn’t aware of my Traveling abilities but he stayed silent and didn’t question how I’d know about a Hogwarts secret like this. “Well, Salazar Slytherin built it in the basement. Before he left, he sealed it with the basilisk inside and used Parseltongue to seal it. Only someone with the ability can open the Chamber...like Tom Riddle.”

“But only an heir -” McGonagall cut herself off with a gasp. “Albus, it can’t be.”

Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, fingers steepled together. “He opened it almost 40 years ago, killing one of our students. I had suspicions but no proof.”

“And you let Hagrid take the fall for it,” There was the slight tone of accusation in my voice. “You knew that she couldn’t have died from Aragog that way and yet you still let -”

He put a hand up to stop me. “It was out of my hands. A student was killed, Hagrid was keeping illegal creatures inside the castle, and as I said, there was no proof of a basilisk being in the castle. But now we can stop this creature. I assume it will be called out of the Chamber again in the future or you would not be aware of it’s existence.”

I glanced quickly at Kettleburn who watched us intently. He didn’t seem surprised about future talk. “It will. But it’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?” McGonagall asked quietly. She stood in front of the fire, one arm crossed over her stomach and the other at her chin. “Who opens the Chamber?”

“If we kill the basilisk, then it won’t matter. It won’t happen. That person will be safe. What matters is how it was opened.” I began to play with a new hangnail, my nervous tick unconsciously showing itself. “Tom Riddle had a diary while he was here. With that diary, he...he created his first horcrux which led to the Chamber being opened again.”

“ _First?_ ” Dumbledore asked harshly. I looked between the professors’ horror struck faces.

“Voldemort made -” I started but Kettleburn cut me off.

“I thought we were discussing Tom Riddle. What does Voldemort have to do with this?” He and McGonagall had the same confused look. Only Dumbledore seemed unsurprised. I stood and walked towards his desk, grabbing a quill and piece of parchment. I wrote Tom’s full name.

“Tom Marvolo Riddle,” I showed the two professors then placed it back onto the desk and wrote again. Holding it up, I watched as their faces returned to horror. “Is Lord Voldemort. It’s an anagram. He created his first horcrux with the diary. I don’t know exactly when but that piece of the horcrux was him while he was here at school, probably after Myrtle’s murder. The diary possessed the person who opened the Chamber in the future but it was destroyed with -”

“A basilisk fang,” Dumbledore finished. I turned back to him and nodded. “We will need to keep those fangs. Perhaps we can recruit Mr. Scamander to help us with this.”

“Newt would be ecstatic. I don’t think he’s ever hunted a basilisk. Granted, he may try and put it into that zoo he’s got going, the nutter.” Kettleburn shook his head.

McGonagall gave Dumbledore a stern look. “I think we should hold off on calling in Mr. Scamander, Albus. If that creature gets out -”

“You’re right. Newt means well but this is not something that can be allowed to roam free.” He nodded, taking back the idea to call in _Newt Scamander_. A part of me was disappointed. Fantastic Beasts was an incredible film and I loved the creatures he studied, I would’ve loved the chance to meet him. Dumbledore turned back to me. “Ms. Rose, you said _first_ horcrux. How many more are there?”

“Right now? Uh,” I bit my lip, thinking over the horcruxes Voldemort had created. I began to count them off on my fingers. “The diary, his family ring, Hufflepuff’s cup, Slytherin’s locket, and Ravenclaw’s diadem.”

“ _Five_ horcruxes,” McGonagall breathed out, sitting down in a chair next to her. Her wide eyes met Dumbeldore’s. She was so pale I was worried she might faint. “How could someone do that?”

“Seven,” I corrected her. She turned to look at me with an open mouth. “Those are the ones he’s already created. His goal is six but he...he ends up making seven of them by accident.”

“ _Accident?_ ” Kettleburn hissed from his spot near the pensieve. He took a few steps closer, watching me intently. “How in Godric’s name do you _accidentally_ create a horcrux?”

“With murder. Instability. And love. Again, it’s complicated.” I held my hands out helplessly to him. “I’m trying to stop that horcrux from ever being made. That’s the one that I’m most concerned about.”

“What is it?” Dumbledore asked quietly. I met his eyes which scared me. They...his eyes looked afraid. “Ms. Rose, what horcrux are you trying to stop?”

“It’s...it’s not a what,” I looked around at the professors again. They waited with impatience, not even breathing. “It’s a _who_.”

No one said a word. I ran a hand over my face, holding it over my mouth for a moment and tried to breathe normally. This wasn’t just a story anymore. This was about my adoptive cousin’s _child_. Saying it out loud made it real. I’d spent the last few weeks becoming James’ cousin not just in name but in the true sense of the word. He was now as important to me as my sisters.

“And if we can destroy the horcruxes before that one is made then it doesn’t matter who it is. Because it won’t happen. I won’t _let_ it happen.” I told them decisively. “He’ll grow up to be a normal child. With parents that love him. He deserves it. They all do.”

“How long do we have?” Dumbledore looked old. I saw it before, when we were in the hospital wing but it showed again. The man had been through so much and there was no end in sight.

“October 31st, 1981.” I answered firmly. “Right now though, we should probably get rid of the killer snake. It’ll take time to find all the horcruxes. I know where most of them are but there are enchantments on them. We’ll need the venom for Godric’s sword, it’ll be easier to destroy the horcruxes with the sword.”

I was guessing on that. We could probably destroy the horcuxes with just the fangs but I didn’t know how the venom worked. It would most likely run out and we’d have no way to kill the horcruxes then. If the sword was fused with venom then it would potentially never fade. Again, I’m just speculating but I would rather use the venom to strengthen the sword since I knew that that was how the some of the horcruxes were destroyed during Harry’s time.

“The sword has been lost for thousands of years, how do you expect to find it?” Kettleburn asked, crossing his arms.

I looked up at the Sorting Hat a few shelves above Dumbledore’s head and pointed. “I’m going to ask for it.”

\---

I ended up staying in Dumbledore’s office for another hour after pulling the sword from the Hat. And yes, it _was_ that simple. The Hat, magical object that’s able to talk and sort children, was listening to every word we were saying. When I asked, the sword just appeared.

It did warn us though that the sword could disappear when it wanted to. That’s why no one had found it for so long. It was as magical, if not more, than the Hat and had a mind of its own. The danger of the castle’s students was reason enough for the Hat to help materialize the sword and it should stay with us in our quest to destroy the horcruxes. 

A little of the weight I didn’t know I was carrying lifted when I held the sword. We were one step closer to stopping Voldemort and saving my friends. I had left Dumbledore and Kettleburn discussing how they would deal with the basilisk. McGonagall led me back to the tower since it was so late.

“How are you keeping up with your studies, Ms. Rose? The other professors have been impressed with your work so far.” She strolled next to me, back straight and gaze subtly scanning the corridor.

“Good. The others have been helping me a lot. I don’t think I’d be doing as well if it wasn’t for them,” I shot a glance at her before continuing. “I doubt Professor Brogan had anything pleasant to say about me though.”

“Professor Brogan is a sexist, snobbish, sardonic scoundrel of a man. I don’t take anything he says to heart.” She snapped, her face showing her disgust for the other professor.

I had to bite my tongue to not laugh at her. “Tell me how you _really_ feel, Professor.”

Her lips turned into a smirk and she gave me a commiserating look. “Other than Professor Brogan, you’ve impressed the staff. I’m glad you’re managing to keep up with the coursework. Especially since this is your first year as a witch.”

Quickly, I glanced up and down the hall just to double check that we were alone. I turned my head back towards her. “How much did future me share with you?”

“Not much, Ms. Rose. And she wasn’t too far into your future. If I had to guess, I’d say she was around from a year or two after you graduate.” This was the most information I’d gotten from any of the people future me had visited so far. “She shared only her Traveling abilities and that she needed to protect certain students. She wanted to make sure we would be ready for you when you arrived. She was concerned with a smooth transition.”

“Like letting me become friends with the 7th year Gryffindors before diving into world saving?” I shook my head as we approached the portrait, my doubts about this whole thing creeping in. How could I justify my relationships with James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius? I might leave. I came here with no warning, what if I left with no warning? Could I do that to them? I already felt so strongly for _all_ of them. Would I even _want_ to leave if given the choice? “I shouldn’t even be building these friendships, it’s -”

“Important.” McGongall had a stern look on her face, meeting my eyes with her brown ones. “Ms. Rose, these friendships that you are building will help you. You cannot do this on your own, you will need people to trust to succeed with this and...well, to be human.”

She was right. The relationships I was creating with everyone here was what made me human. What made me _not_ like Voldemort. I wasn’t using these people to further my own goals, I was with them because I cared about them. McGonagall included. Before I could truly think about it, I wrapped my arms around Professor McGonagall.

Her body froze for a moment and I regretted hugging her for a split second. Then I felt her arms wrap around me in return. “Thanks, Professor.”

“You’re welcome, Ms. Rose.” She whispered, her head resting against my hair. We drew apart at the same time and the stern look was back on her face. “We expect you at the same time tomorrow night.”

“I’ll see you then. Goodnight, Professor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM DONE SCHOOL FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS THANK GOD MERLIN CHUCK EVERYONE  
> Wait, not Chuck. Fuck Chuck.
> 
> Anyways, someone needs to take Tik Tok away from me. The duets between haztully and actinganimagus are EXACTLY how I'm picturing Lily and James at this point but I'm on the app way too much and it’s mind sucking.
> 
> Yes, the ball thing is VERY cliche. I am aware of this. BUT I have reasons. Very important reasons...
> 
> Hope everyone is safe and healthy.


	15. Are We Falling In Love

_Gringotts tightens security measures after the third break in over the past two months. Sources say that the break-ins have only occurred in Pureblood vaults. No items were missing -_

“Love, can you pass me the pumpkin juice?”

Looking away from the Prophet, I leaned into James a little to grab the pitcher of pumpkin juice for Sirius. We were at lunch and I was scouring the Prophet once again, seeing if anything stuck out. The break-ins at Gringotts kept catching my eye but I couldn’t figure out why. Clearly whoever was breaking in was looking for something. But to break-in more than once? That seemed a little odd. 

“Thanks,” Sirius said, wrapping his hand around the handle below mine. A shiver shot through me at the contact. “Did you finish your Muggle Studies homework?”

“I did and no, you’re not allowed to read it.” I replied, taking a bite of my sandwich.

“But what if you missed something?” He leaned towards me with a pout. “I’d hate for you to get poor marks because you didn’t let me proofread it.”

I turned my head towards him, squinting slightly. “I'm pretty sure I know more about Muggle things than you. If anything, _you’re_ the one who probably missed something. Why don’t I proofread yours to check?”

“Go ahead, it’s perfect.” Sirius had a satisfied smirk on his face and pulled out his homework. I took it from him and began to read it. Two sentences in and I’d already found a mistake.

“Mississippi not Michigan,” I pointed at the wrong state on his paper. Huffing, he snatched it back from me and changed the word. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. Nodding to himself, he handed it back and I finished reading it. I gave it back with a small smile. “It’s good. You’re a good writer, it flows really well.”

He grinned back, putting the essay away for class. Then held out his hand to me. I raised my eyebrows questioningly. “Your turn.”

Sighing, I rummaged in my bag and handed it over. He began reading it attentively. His lips moved as he read the paper to himself and I found myself watching him a little too long. Forcing myself to look away, I met Peter’s eyes which were lingering on me. Blushing at being caught staring at Sirius, I took another bite of my sandwich and avoided Peter’s gaze.

Glancing down at my watch, I realized we had to get going. The others had a free period but we were about to be late for Muggle Studies. “Sirius, we need to get to class.”

He handed back my paper quickly. I shoved it in my bag and we headed out. On the way to the classroom, I nudged Sirius. “So? Did it pass your inspection?”

“It was good, love. Q will love the paragraph about Graceland. I didn’t know they did tours there.” The compliment gave me a little fluttery feeling followed by a terrible stomach turning feeling. _SHIT_. Graceland opened to the public in _1982_. Fuck fuck fuck. We entered the room and I looked around the room desperately. There was no way I could cross out that paragraph without looking suspicious.

On Quirrell’s desk, I saw a glass of water and had an idea. After I placed the parchment on top of Sirius’ on the desk, I _accidentally_ bumped my arm into the glass and spilled water over the entire pile of homework. “Oh, shit.”

“It’s alright, Ms. Rose.” Turning around, I found Quirrell waving his wand. With a sinking feeling, I watched the water dry and all the homework looked like nothing had happened. _Fuck_ me. “Just be a little more careful in the future.”

“Thanks, Professor.” I muttered, following Sirius to our desk. God damn _wizards_. I’d have to come up with a reason on how I’d managed to get a tour of Graceland when it was still a private home. Rubbing my temples, I leaned back and sighed. I had to be more careful in the future, I couldn’t slip up like that again or someone might start questioning how I knew about things I shouldn’t. And _that_ was the last thing I needed right now.

\---

“Why am I using your broom and not Jaimy’s?” I asked, looking at Sirius curiously. We were standing on the Quidditch pitch, about to continue my flying lessons.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He’s a little overprotective -”

“He thinks I’ll mess up his broom, doesn’t he?” I cocked my hip, leaning slightly on Sirius’ broom. He winced a little. I rolled my eyes, taking that as my answer. I stopped for a moment though, watching him carefully. “But you trust me enough _not_ to destroy your broom?”

I could make so many innuendos with all this broom talk and I could just _tell_ Sirius was doing everything he could to control himself but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, his mind went right to where mine did. “Love, you can destroy my broom any time.”

I smacked him lightly on the shoulder with an amused smirk. “Not the time, Romeo. I’m not into exhibitionism.”

He cocked his head curiously. “What’s exhibitionism?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” A laugh escaped from my lips at the look he gave me.

“I can just ask Moony later, you might as well save me the time.” He crossed his arms expectantly.

I shook my head, my grin growing wider. “ _Please_ ask him. In the most public place possible. That will make my _day_.”

He squinted at me suspiciously. “Now I’m worried.”

“Let’s focus on flying then.” I suggested, trying to steer not only the conversation but also my own mind away from certain people’s _brooms_. I only have so much self control.

Running a hand through his hair, he let out a huge sigh before getting started. “Alright, so let’s get you on and we’ll go from there.”

I managed to get on and up in the air after a few tries. It was awkward getting used to _sitting_ on a broom. There was figuring out where to put my legs, not leaning too hard on the broom, and balancing in general. Finally, after about an hour, I was floating above the Quidditch pitch with Sirius beside me.

“You’re a natural, you just need to build your confidence with flying.” A grin split Sirius’ face, lighting it up. “Prongs is going to be ecstatic.”

“Ugh, don’t tell him I’m any good or he’ll probably try to recruit me for your dumb Quidditch team.” I rolled my eyes, a smile on my face as he gasped dramatically.

“ _Dumb_ Quidditch team,” He said horrified. “Love, now you’re just being hurtful. Quidditch is the most perfect sport ever created. It takes skill, agility, quick thinking -”

“Hmm, I’m still not con -” The broom shot forward about 3 feet suddenly. Luckily, my hands had been loosely holding the handle or I’d have flown right off the back of it. Gasping, I froze, unsure what just happened and if it was normal for the brooms to move on their own.

“Love, what are you -” Sirius’ voice cut off as the broom shot to the left, almost flinging me off of it again. Terror ran through me as the broom spun in a circle and I clung on as tightly as I could. “Sydney!”

I opened my mouth to reply but the broom nose dived and all that came out was a scream. Wind whipped against my face, the broom moving faster than I thought it could.

“Pull up!” Sirius yelled behind me.

“I can’t!” I screamed, watching the ground get closer. The broom swerved to the right abruptly, almost crashing into Sirius. Another blood curling scream escaped from me. “ _Sirius!_ ”

“Jump!” My arms were frozen in terror. I couldn’t jump if I _wanted_ to. I shook my head and clung onto the broom as I took another abrupt turn but this time it went up. The whiplash of the movement caused black spots to dance in my vision. “ _Sydney, jump!_ ”

The broom and I climbed higher, my fear growing and causing my mind to shut down. My breath became shorter and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the altitude or the panic. Just when I thought I’d pass out, the broom took a dive and any breath I had left was pulled right out of my lungs.

I briefly saw Sirius on my way down but if I turned my head, I was worried any movement would rip my head right off my shoulders. The ground grew alarmingly clearer as I got closer, I pulled as hard as I could but nothing happen. Even though my body was shaking uncontrollably, the broom stayed steady. 

Something slammed into my side, causing my hands to drop the broom handle and for a moment, I was air born. The world spun and I closed my eyes, hoping the crash would be fast and wouldn’t hurt too much. Air whooshed out of me as my stomach almost went into my spine, my body stopped by a bar or something equally as hard.

It took me a moment to realize that my back was against something and the bar that I had slammed into was wrapped around my waist. 

“I’ve got you, Syd. Shhhh, I’ve got you.” Lips were speaking directly in my ear but I couldn’t open my eyes, clinging tightly to the arm around me. My mind realized it was Sirius and I gasped brokenly, feeling tears stream down my face. Ground met my feet and I could feel Sirius turn me around to pull me into his chest. My body was shaking so hard, my teeth were practically chattering. His hands ran up and down my back, soothing words partially drowned out by a loud whooshing sound. I concentrated on his hands, feeling them move over me.

I shook my head, unable to speak. I clung desperately to him, digging my fingers into his sides and burying my face as close as I could into his chest. The whooshing sound was still so _loud_ , it was hard to hear what Sirius was saying. I wanted to hear him, I _needed_ to hear him in that moment. I gulped, trying to speak and the whooshing sound stopped for a second. 

I realized the sound was _me_. Slowly I blinked, light burning my eyes. We were on the ground, grass all around us and the sun shining brightly. Turning my head, I met Sirius’ worried face. He ran a hand along the side of my face, pushing my hair out of it. His gray eyes searched mine, his voice coming in clear now. “Love, I’m right here. You’re on the ground, I’ve got you. You’re ok.”

“ _Sirius_ ,” I gasped, trying to form more words but I couldn’t. Leaning my forehead against his shoulder, I repeated his name again as he continued to run his hands over my back. Stumbling over the words, I tried to voice my thoughts. “W-what,” I gulped another breath. “h-hap -”

“I think someone jinxed the broom,” He whispered. Glancing up, I saw him scanning the Quidditch pitch. My eyes darted around but there was no one near us. A few students were lingering near the entrance and in one of the courtyards but none of them were close enough to us. “Let’s get you inside, you’re still shaking.”

I nodded numbly, clinging to Sirius as he grabbed both brooms and rested them on his shoulder.

\---

The walk back to the castle was a blur. The next thing I was aware of was that I was curled up in a bed and leaning against a headboard.

The boys’ dorm. I was sitting in Sirius’ bed. Blinking a few times, I tried to focus on Sirius who was pacing next to me. 

I’m not sure how long he’d been doing it but I reached out and grasped his wrist. He stopped mid-stride and whipped his head around to me. Pulling lightly on his arm, he joined me and ran a hand over my pink head. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” He was sitting next to me now and I leaned my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The adrenaline of being flung around in the air was causing me to crash now and I could barely staying awake. Feeling Sirius though was...grounding. I felt better just knowing he was right there. Closing my eyes, I muttered to him. “Did I destroy your broom?”

His laughter rumbled against my cheek causing me to smile slightly. I could feel his cheek pressed to the top of my head, his arms wrapped tightly around me. “No, it’s fine. I think we broke the jinx when I shoved you off. It landed on the ground as if nothing happened.”

“Hmmm, good.” The feeling of Sirius rubbing his thumb back and forth against my upper arm lulled me into a daze. I yawned, nuzzling closer to him. “I’d hate for Jaimy to be right.”

\---

Sirius wracked his brain furiously, trying to remember if he’d seen anyone in the stands right before Sydney had been jinxed. He felt her breathing even out as he held her, moving his thumb against her upper arm in reassurance. She was _fine_. A little shaken up but...Merlin, it could’ve been so much worse.

The problem was that he _hadn’t_ seen anyone in the stands or anyone near the pitch. Then again, he had been a little distracted by Sydney then distracted by her almost flying off of his broom. If he ever convinced her to _look_ at a broom again, it would be a miracle. And he wouldn’t blame her.

That had been one of the most terrifying moments of his life. Watching her unable to stop, the broom whipping her around like that, it scared him just thinking about it again. Almost unconsciously, the arm he had around her back tightened and pulled her closer. Sleepily she burrowed her face against his chest. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her.

Sirius couldn’t fathom how Prongs functioned if this is how he felt about Lily. Every breath, every movement, every single thing she did _fascinated_ him. No other person had ever captured his attention the way she did. He had to forcibly look away from her so as not to appear like a complete nutter. He _knew_ what he was doing, had seen Prongs do similar things around Lily, and yet...he couldn’t stop.

Faintly, Sirius could hear Prongs’ voice drifting up the stairs. Sydney was still fast asleep and there was no chance in hell he was going to move from this spot. The door knob jiggled before Prongs tumbled in with Moony and Worm behind him.

“Oi! I thought I told you -” A pillow smacked Prongs in the face and Sirius hissed at him to shut it but Prongs continued his reprimand in a whisper. “to put a tie on the door or something! Merlin, Pads, just a _warning_ -”

“Godric’s balls, James. _Shut. Up._ ” Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius’ tone while Peter just glanced wide-eyed between the three of them. Sirius almost _never_ used James’ name anymore, the Marauder nickname typically rolling off his tongue like it was his actual name. He could tell that James felt the seriousness of the situation with the name usage. Tiptoeing over, Prongs sat on the edge of Sirius’ bed, careful not to jostle it too much.

“What happened?” Prongs whispered harshly. Sydney made a noise at that moment and the boys froze, all of them watching her like a hawk. She didn’t wake, just moved her cheek against Sirius and sighed. James looked back to Sirius and gestured for him to explain.

“We were flying. She was doing great, Prongs. You would’ve be so proud,” Sirius shook his head, that moment of excitement barely there now after the turn the day had taken.

“But?” Prongs prodded. Moony sat on his bed, on the other side of Sydney, and Worm joined him, folding his legs up underneath him.

“Someone jinxed her on my broom,” Sirius gazed down at Sydney but heard James’ sharp intake of breath. “I had to...Merlin, Prongs. I had to body check her off that broom or she would’ve gone face first into the pitch. I caught her just in time but -”

His eyes closed with grimace, remembering that split second of Sydney free falling 15 yards above the field. If he had been _one_ second too late -

He opened his eyes at Moony’s quiet voice and looked over at his gangly friend. “Did you see anyone?”

“No,” Sirius bit his lip in frustration. “I wasn’t paying attention to the stands or the pitch. I was making sure she was ok flying. It never occurred to me that someone would follow us.”

James ran a hand through his hair and glanced down at his sleeping cousin. “Any ideas? She hasn’t been here long but -”

“LeStrange.” Sirius finished, giving his best mate a knowing look. “You heard him last week. ‘You’ll get what’s coming to you.’ It was probably him.”

“No proof though,” Moony pointed out logically. “You didn’t see anyone and for all we know, that attack could have nothing to do with LeStrange. We still don’t know why she’s here -”

“Maybe that stalker ex actually found her,” Peter suggested. Sirius frowned down at the pink haired girl, thinking over what he knew about Sydney being here. She’d said that she left home because of something dangerous but...she didn’t act like it. She was secretive but not afraid.

Sirius looked back up at Peter. “Hey, Worm. Think you could sneak into the Slytherin dorms tonight? If it was LeStrange then we can bet on him bragging about it to his groupies and if not...”

“If not then we’ve got a bigger problem.” James finished, looking worriedly down at Sydney.

\---

My pillow was moving. It was a steady up and down motion, reminding me of our family boat back home. Soothing but still out of place even in my sleepy state. Yawning, I rubbed my cheek against my pillow. A weight around my waist tighten, a hand gripping my ribs lightly.

I stopped breathing for a moment, forcing myself to clear the cobwebs and figure out what was going on. Rubbing my eyes with one hand, I slowly opened my eyes to see dark ink against pale skin.

 _Sirius_. Flicking my eyes up, I saw the dark haired boy sleeping soundly. His lips were slightly parted and his breath even. Faint light coming through the window on the other side of him. Glancing down at my watch, I saw it was 5am.

 _Damn it_. I was supposed to go to Dumbledore’s office again after dinner last night. The events of yesterday afternoon slammed into me then and I sucked in a sharp breath. Someone basically tried to _kill_ me yesterday. If it hadn’t been for Sirius, I would probably have been a pancake on that field.

I pushed my arms against the bed, about to try and slip out, when the arm around my waist pulled me tight and I dropped into Sirius’ chest.

“Bktoseep, lo,” He mumbled against my forehead. I couldn’t help but smile at the sleepy boy. _That_ was absolutely adorable. Moving my arms back to where they had been, I settled against Sirius’ shoulder and felt him sigh in contentment. A rustling next to us though had me looking over. James stepped up next to the bed and smirked down at the two of us.

“Actually, it’s time for practice. Up you get, Pads.” James winked at me and I laughed softly when Sirius groaned at him. James ruffled his hair, trying to wake him up more. “Come on, you can cuddle my cousin later.”

A blush flooded my cheeks at James’ words as Sirius rubbed his eyes. James headed to the bathroom while Sirius looked down at me with bleary eyes. “You should get some more sleep, love. We’ll see you at breakfast.”

Without waiting for a reply, he untangled himself from me and rolled out of bed with another groan. I burrowed into the warm spot left behind and watched him head towards the bathroom. _Damn_ that was a good morning view.

The door clicked shut and I pulled the comforter over my head, trying to control the blush burning my face. It was getting harder to ignore the fact - and yes, I mean _fact_ \- that I was falling hard for Sirius. Lily’s going to have a field day when she finds out I woke up in his bed again.

I heard the boys heading down the stairs and turned over, debating just going back to sleep. After about half an hour of just lying there, I decided to head back to my dorm and get ready for the day. Pushing myself up, I sat in Sirius’ bed for a moment. A wet hand nudged my nose and I turned to see Tux at the edge of the bed. He must’ve snuck in at some point or maybe James had let him in. I scratched his head then we quietly padded out the door and back to my dorm.

I gripped the doorknob to the 7th year girls dorm and slowly turned the handle, peeking in. Alice and Marlene were fast asleep. My gaze landed on Lily’s bed and I almost groaned out loud at the perfectly made bed. Someone cleared their throat behind me. Turning around slowly, I found Lily Evans with arms crossed and one eyebrow raised.

“Hey, Lils.” I whispered light heartedly. She raised the eyebrow further and gestured down the stairs. Sighing, I headed down ahead of her with Tux next to me. We reached the common room and I sat down on the couch, turning to face her as she took a seat on the opposite side. “It’s not -”

“James and Remus told us.” She said immediately.

I looked at her skeptically. “ _Us?_ Us as in...?”

“Marlene, Alice, and I. And of course Professor McGonagall since she came looking for you.” Lily began petting Tux on the head, she watching me searchingly. “How are you?”

The sincerity shone in her emerald eyes and Jesus, she reminded me of Emmy so much it hurt. Before I was friends with Emmy, she had hung out with some girls who were really bitchy. We had become friendly in class and she always just seemed _too_ nice, as if she was faking how nice she was and since she hung out with the bitchiest girls in school, it just _had_ to be an act. _No one_ was that nice.

Emmy was though. I learned fast that she was genuinely kind, sometimes too nice. It was surprising to learn that she had only been friends with the bitchy girls because they’d grown up together. Since a lot of people had thought like I did, no one had taken the time to truly get to know her. When I found out that she was _literally_ made of fucking rainbows and butterflies, I essentially kidnapped her from her group of friends and never looked back. We’ve been attached to each other ever since, even with Todd around. He accepted that if I called and truly needed Emmy, he’d lose every time. It was never a contest between Todd and I, he knew I took priority and I would always be around.

Also that if he ever hurt Emmy, I had an entire plan to get rid of his body.

Having experience with Emmy’s kindness, I _knew_ that people could actually be that sincere. Lily was one of these kinds of people. It was just something I could tell from knowing her for a few weeks.

Her prodding about Sirius was from a good place, similar to how Emmy would act if she knew about _any_ of the nonsense I’d done in the past few weeks. There was no agenda, she didn’t want gossip, didn’t judge me, she wasn’t trying to pry into my life, she just truly _cared_ about me.

And I’m not sure I deserved it.

I wasn’t being totally honest with her. With _any_ of them. But the alternative was...well, I’d stick me into St. Mungo’s if I heard the truth about me.

“I’m fine. A little shaken up still but if it wasn’t for Sirius, I’m not sure I’d be here right now.” I gave her a strained smile. “It’s surreal just thinking about it. And I’m probably not going to fly for a while.”

She nodded, giving Tux a scratch on the chin. “Do you have any ideas about who did it?”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Not really. I wasn’t paying attention to the stands or anything. I was just concentrating on not falling off before the broom went berserk.”

“I’m glad you’re ok.” Lily leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me. I returned the hug, squeezing her tightly for a moment. Tux shoved his wet nose between us and we pulled away with a laugh.

“I’m going to shower real quick but want to head down and work on homework before class? I didn’t work on anything yesterday and I can feel the anxiety creeping in.” I grinned at her, knowing she’d understand the feeling.

“Of course. I’ll just give Tux some more attention while I wait. Cause no one pays attention to you, do they?” Her voice flowed from normal into baby talk and I couldn’t help my grin getting wider.

“Don’t spoil him too much, James’ll get jealous.” Shaking my head, I stood and headed up. Looking back at Lily for a moment, I realized how lucky I was to have her as my friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments on this are THE BEST. Thank you guys!
> 
> I have been watching Criminal Minds and if later on in this story there is a crime aspect, you all know why. That's still debatable though.


	16. everything at once

Scratching out a few words, I rewrote my last sentence on my transfiguration essay. Lily and I worked silently, occasionally asking each other a question about the homework. A body sitting down on my left jolted me out of my zone. I found Jaimy next to me, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Glancing around, I saw Sirius at the Hall entrance talking to Peter. His stance was taunt, slightly aggressive and I wondered what they were discussing. Remus had walked around them and was taking his seat next to Lily. Turning back to Jaimy, I grabbed the carafe of coffee and poured myself a new cup. “How was practice?”

Jaimy shrugged nonchalantly, shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth. “Good. No one jinxed any brooms or anything so a normal practice.”

Lily shook her head down at her homework as Remus sighed disappointingly. “Too soon, Prongs.”

I felt Sirius take his seat next to me and when I turned, he was glaring at his plate. Tilting my head in confusion, I nudged him lightly. “What did the plate do? Insult your hair?”

He glanced quickly at me then reached for the eggs. “It’s nothing, love.”

Frowning slightly, my eyes shot over to Peter who was pointedly _not_ looking in my direction. Hmm. I turned my attention back to my homework, rereading what I had written to figure out what I had been writing before James had sat down. Take a sip of coffee, I continued my essay.

It was hard to concentrate with Sirius next to me though. The boys were discussing Kettleburn’s class yesterday and every single time Sirius’ arm brushed mine, I lost my train of thought. After staring at my essay for ten minutes without writing a single word, I finally gave up.

We finished breakfast and headed to potions. Sirius made it a point to walk next to James ahead of the group, Remus taking Sirius’ normal spot next to me. I raised an eyebrow at the taller boy who sighed. “He’ll tell you later. It’s nothing you can help with, if it makes you feel any better.”

“It doesn’t.” It was frustrating that the boys weren’t sharing whatever it was that they all knew. It was about _me_ , I wasn’t stupid. “Does it have to do with yesterday?”

Remus glanced at the two boys ahead before meeting my eyes. “Yes but...I really think Sirius should tell you.”

Shaking my head, we entered Potions and I went straight to my seat. Severus’ head shot up as I placed my bag down and flopped into the chair. He gave me a once over then turned his attention back to his potions book. Squinting slightly, I poked him with my quill. “What was that?”

“What was what?” He purposely kept his attention on his book.

“That look.” I gave him a skeptical one of my own. Did he know something about yesterday? Slughorn got started on the lesson so I dropped my voice. “You seem surprised to see me in one piece.”

His head whipped around so fast that his hair actually _swung_. I raised an eyebrow challengingly at him. Severus struggled with his words for a few moments. “I - uh - you -”

“Sirius saved me from becoming a pancake for your information.” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest. Turning my head, I caught Sirius turning his head slightly to check on me. I gave him a small smile that he returned but it looked forced. My eyebrows narrowed in frustration. I wish he’d told me before class. I _hated_ not knowing who almost murdered me yesterday. “Any chance you’d know anything about that?”

“I heard...you had some broom problems.” He mumbled, not meeting my eyes when I looked over. “That’s all I know.”

“Right.” I hoped he could hear how much I _didn’t_ believe that for a second. Dropping the subject, I began writing down notes from the lesson without taking in what I was writing. My first thought was Rodolphus. He had his own reasons for wanting to kill me. Another thought struck me.

 _Quirrell_. Harry’s first year, he’d been almost flung off his broom in a similar way. Severus was the one trying to counteract the jinx that time. But as far as I could tell from lessons, Quirrell was normal right now. He didn’t seem like he was trying to murder students just yet. To be honest...I kinda liked Quirrell. Which bothered me in it’s own way.

_Things change._

That letter had been _extremely_ unhelpful. Future Me was an _asshole_. I had to assume Quirrell was one of these things to change. If I stopped Voldemort _before_ he killed James and Lily then there was no reason for Quirrell to ever let Voldemort’s soul to attached to himself because it wouldn’t exist.

There were so many things that _could_ change. A domino effect. _One_ thing, Peter defecting, had caused catastrophic events that shaped the future I knew of. But the other issue with changing things was what events would I _cause?_ Clearly I’d changed at least one thing that had altered this timeline. 

Aunt Dottie. She didn’t _exist_ in the Harry Potter universe. Where the hell had she come from? Was she so important to Alphard that he would’ve taken his own life rather than live without her? It was tragic to think of loving someone that much, that it was unbearable to live without them.

My eyes fell on Sirius and my heart clenched tightly.

\---

Lunch had been slightly awkward. I’d tried to ask Sirius if he was ok and he’d _brushed me off_. He’d said it was nothing. Again. Bastard was the _worst_ liar. I also noticed that he wasn’t touching me like he normally did. I hated to admit it but I’d grown used to the small touches throughout the day. A brush of our shoulders, a hand on my lower back, hell he barely even _looked_ at me. 

I’m not sure it’s healthy but I think I’d become addicted to being near him.

After lunch, the boys disappeared claiming they were doing Marauder things. I headed to the library with Lily to wander the stacks of books, searching for anything that could help me. By the time we had to leave for Charms, I’d once again had no luck.

The boys arrived at the last possible second which gave me no time to try and talk to Sirius. My anxiety had been building all day and I could barely sit still, my leg bouncing under the desk. Remus gave me a few comforting looks as Professor Flitwick droned on, understanding my anxiousness without a word from me. I couldn’t stop worrying about what he’d found out.

 _Was_ it Quirrell? Or Rodolphus? Was it someone else? Had I pissed someone else off in the few weeks I’d been here. Besides Professor Bro-

I dismissed that after a second. Professor Brogan wouldn’t be subtle if he tried to kill me. He was way too full of himself, he’d want credit for taking me down.

 _Not_ that it would make sense to _murder_ me for arguing in class with him. That would be psychotic.

Class was dismissed and when I glanced over, I saw James and Sirius almost out the door. Quickly, I threw my bag over my shoulder and raced after them. I caught them as they were about to round the corner on the way to the Hall.

“Sirius, stop.” My hand wrapped around his inner elbow and tried to pull him to a halt. He tried to keep walking so I pulled harder and he finally stopped, not looking at me. “You’ve been avoiding me all day. What is going on?”

“Love -”

“No, don’t _love_ me. Don’t try to downplay this.” Moving around so I was in front of him, I pointed a finger at him and stared right into his gray eyes, daring him to look away. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Jaimy slink away. “I almost _died_ yesterday and I know that you found out what happened. Tell me.”

Exhaling slowly, he looked at his feet and ran a hand through his hair. His head came back up and he looked at me steadily. “My cousin Bellatrix was the one who jinxed you.”

Confused, I tried to comprehend what he just said. “Bellatrix.”

“LeStrange snuck her onto school grounds for -” He shivered in disgust. “things I _really_ don’t want to think about. When she was leaving, she saw us and...decided to jinx you. I’m so sorry, love. This is all my fault, she’s hated me since we were kids and -”

“Sirius, this is in no way your fault.” I interrupted quickly. He looked away again, clearly feeling guilty over what he thought he had done by being my friend. I placed my hand on his left cheek and forced him to look at me, turning him so our eyes met. My hand lingered on his cheek. “You saved me, ok? If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“If it wasn’t for me, you would’ve never needed to be saved.” He said quietly, avoiding my eyes once again.

“You don’t know that for sure. Rodolphus could’ve told her about what I did last week. Maybe she was getting me back for embarrassing him.” Tilting my head, I let my hand drop to his shoulder, the one I’d stitched up the other night. “Please don’t beat yourself up over this. You told me she likes to throw Unforgiveables around like candy. It sounds like she’s unstable and you can’t predict what unstable people will do. It is _not_ your fault, Sirius.”

He placed his hand over the one I had on his shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. “It still feels like it is.”

“I disagree but clearly you’re not going to listen to me.” I said dryly. 

He grinned softly, finally looking at my face. “I _always_ listen to you, love.”

I smiled back and when I turned so we could continue down the hallway, he captured my hand. For a second, I debated pulling away but he seemed much calmer holding onto me. I brushed against him as we walked, deciding to enjoy the feeling of his hand enveloping mine. “So how did she get onto the grounds?”

“There are secret tunnels all over the castle. She must’ve known about one and snuck in. We’re going to look for it later and see if we can seal it off.” Sirius looked down at me, squeezing my hand gently. “I don’t want her wandering around here like she owns the place.”

I hummed my agreement. Quietly, we walked to the Great Hall together, Sirius continuing to run his thumb over the back of my hand. Bellatrix was sneaking into the castle and I really doubted it was to bang Rodolphus in the middle of the day. Could she be recruiting? But that seemed to be what she had been doing at Hogsmeade. And why risk getting caught sneaking onto the grounds? I didn’t know if it was allowed or not but I figured that only students and teachers were allowed in Hogwarts.

Sirius steered me to our seats, my mind in a completely different world at the moment. He tried to pull me out of my head, asking if I wanted chicken or pork but could tell I wasn’t listening to him. What could she have _possibly_ been doing here? _Was_ she meeting with Rodolphus? Maybe they were already engaged and Sirius was right but...that just didn’t seem like it would be a priority of Bellatrix’s.

Then again, I didn’t know her. Not really. The version of her that I knew was a Bellatrix who’d been locked in Azakaban for over 10 years. _This_ Bellatrix hadn’t been jailed yet so I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. From what Sirius had told me though, she _sounded_ like she was already starting to loose her grip on sanity.

James accidentally knocked his elbow into mine, jostling me back into the present. An entire plate full of food was in front of me. My stomach growled loudly at the sight and I could feel Sirius chuckle next to me. Glancing over, I saw that he was listening to Remus but his eyes darted to mine periodically. Picking up my fork, I stabbed a few potatoes and began to eat in earnest.

I didn’t miss the smirk on his face. Rolling my eyes, I tried to focus on the conversation but someone tapped my shoulder. Swallowing quickly, I spun to find Professor McGonagall standing over me. “Hi, Professor.”

“Ms. Rose, I’d like for you to stop by Professor Dumbledore’s office tonight to discuss yesterday afternoon.” She looked over her glasses pointedly. “Mr. Potter informed me of an incident involving a jinxed broom that should have been reported immediately.”

“Uh, yeah about that -” Awkwardly, I avoided eye contact with her. Behind me, I felt Sirius turn around.

“That’s my fault, Minnie.” I glanced over my shoulder at him then back to the professor. “Syd was pretty shaken up so I thought she should get some rest. Next time, we can come straight to you.”

“Let’s not _have_ a next time, Mr. Black.” She replied, giving him a look. “We’ll see you tonight, Ms. Rose.”

Without another word, McGonagall left us and made her way to the table at the front of the room. James turned to me with a smirk. “Two meetings with Minnie in a week? And Mum thought _I_ was a problem child.”

I huffed and shouldered him lightly. “You _are_ the problem child. It’s a wonder that Dumbledore thought you’d be a good Head Boy.”

“Oi! I’m a _great_ Head Boy!” He protested loudly. I smirked and finished my meal, listening to him mutter to himself about how he was the _best_ Head Boy. My eyes met Lily’s and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. She looked over at James with amusement and I couldn’t help but notice the small smile when she did. 

\---

I entered the office to find the three professors in a circle around the fire, deep in discussion. They abruptly stopped talking once they heard my footsteps. Tux pushed around me and went straight to McGonagall who automatically pet him. I took the only open seat between Dumbledore and McGonagall, prepared for their questioning. “Ok, get it over with.”

“What over with, Ms. Rose?” Dumbledore asked innocently.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in the armchair. “I’m sorry I didn’t report the broom thing yesterday. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Honestly, I think I was in shock. And then I had classes and -”

“From what your cousin said, Ms. Rose, it _was_ a big deal. You’re lucky Mr. Black was with you.” McGonagall scolded, her face furrowed in displeasure. “The culprit could have been caught if we’d been aware of the incident sooner.”

She didn’t know who attacked me. Dumbledore watched me intently as McGonagall talked and for some reason, I held back what I knew. There was no proof that Bellatrix had jinxed me and I was pretty sure that however Sirius had gotten the information was not a way that was approved by...well, anyone. I was too curious about finding out what Bellatrix had been doing here in the first place. If I told them now that I suspected her, I would loose any chance I had of figuring it out. “I’m sorry, Professor. Next time -”

“There will not _be_ a next time,” She insisted, glaring at me. “I would appreciate it if you and your fellow...conspirators would be a bit more positive and not expect you to be attacked again.”

Wide-eyed, I nodded in agreement. Dumbledore cleared his throat, focusing our attention on him. “Now, Ms. Rose, we’d like to discuss our plans for the Chamber.”

The professors questioned me extensively. We had talked the other night about the Chamber in general and ways to kill the basilisk but now we had to talk about the schematics. Specifically the location and password of the Chamber.

I frowned after explaining how to get there. “I don’t know Parseltongue though so we might have an issue.”

Dumbledore steepled his fingers together. “Would you be opposed to using my Pensieve? If you have a memory of the word in Parseltongue, we could use it to practice for opening the Chamber.”

Biting my lip, I thought about the scene from the Chamber of Secrets where Harry, Ron, and Lockhart had entered the Chamber. Was there anything future related that could give away anything? Thinking, I figured there wasn’t anything dangerous they could see in that specific memory. “Sure. I think that would be fine.”

Dumbledore stood and walked to me. Looking down, he slowly took out his wand. I couldn’t help but stare at it. The Elder wand. If he noticed me staring, he didn’t say anything about it. “Just focus on the memory. Let me know when you have it in your mind and I will pull it out.”

“Will I still have it?” I asked, worried about losing a memory even if it was just a part of a movie.

“It’ll be returned to you once we open the Chamber successfully. Don’t worry, Ms. Rose. I’m not in the habit of stealing memories.” Dumbledore answered wryly.

With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and focused on the scene. Once I had it, I nodded. “Ok, I’ve got it.”

The cold tip of his wand touched my temple gently. I opened my eyes to see a small wisp clinging to the wand, glowing softly. Dumbledore began making his way towards the Pensieve at the other end of the room but after only two steps, the wisp detached itself from the wand. McGonagall gave an audible gasp as Dumbledore froze. We watched as the wisp floated towards the floor.

Confused, my mouth opened to ask if that was normal but snapped it shut as the wisp touched the floor. The moment it grazed the carpet, gray smoke billowed up. We all watched wide-eyed as the smoke materialized into figures and a large wall.

“Albus -” McGonagall whispered sharply. He cut her off with a hand, eyes glued to the scene in front of us.

It was _me_. Sitting with Shay in front of our projection wall. My sister and I had spent the summer revamping our basement and installed a projector so we could watch movies that were the size of the wall. I couldn’t stop looking at myself. That was _me_. Full sized. Just _watching_ a movie.

_“Hello, Harry.” Giggled Myrtle floating above Harry, Ron and Professor Lockhart._

We watched as Myrtle described her death, floating closer to the group on the screen. It was surreal watching it. I walked closer into the scene and touched my head.

Instantly, the scene pulled in on itself, as if a vacuum had sucked it up. All of the smoke folded back into the wisp then twirled around before launching itself at my forehead. Gasping, I stumbled back.

I landed in my chair, breathing heavily. The professors stared at me with complete shock. Looking at each of them in turn, I stuttered out, “W-what was _that?_ ”

“That’s what I want to know,” Kettleburn grumbled, turning on Dumbledore. “What the hell, Albus? _That_ is not supposed to happen with memories.”

“No,” Dumbledore was staring at me unnervingly. “It is not. I believe our Ms. Rose has some abilities that we have not seen before.”

“ _Abilities?_ ” I spat at him, suddenly furious. “As if going back in time and being shoved into a world with fucking _magic_ wasn’t enough? You’re trying to say I have _weird_ magic?!”

“I said no such thing, Ms. Rose.” He answered with a stern look.

I threw my hands up angrily. “You implied it!”

“Ms. Rose!” McGonagall snapped as sharply as a whip. I turned my glare on her. “Mind your tone.”

“ _Mind_ my tone? That’s all I’ve _been_ fucking doing! Do you have _any_ idea how difficult it is to even _be_ here? I’m constantly watching what I say and do, worried I’m going to slip up, hell I _have_ slipped up a few times! And now I find out that I have magic you’ve _never seen before?!_ Do _not_ tell me to _mind_ my fucking tone!” I yelled at the professor. Almost immediately I felt bad. Professor McGonagall didn’t deserve that. She’d been nothing but kind to me and I just completely spazzed on her. Squeezing my eyes shut, I rubbed the bridge of my nose. When I opened them, I let out a deep breath and met her gaze. “I’m sorry. I just...this is a lot. I’m freaking out a little.”

“Apology accepted, Ms. Rose.” Her gaze lingered on me, worry etched in her eyes. “Perhaps we can explore this...talent at our next meeting? I believe we have done all we can tonight and you need your sleep, Ms. Rose.”

I averted my eyes to the floor, still embarrassed over my spazz attack. “Right, sleep.”

When I looked back up, Dumbledore gave me a knowing look. There was no way he could know about my nightmares but the insomnia thing might have reached his ears. “Monday night, Ms. Rose. We can inspect that memory further, see if we can learn how to use it to open the Chamber.”

Nodding, I quickly said good night to the professors and clicked my tongue against the top of my palette, calling Tux to me. He trotted over from his spot curled up by the fireplace. We walked towards the door but I stopped, realizing I was forgetting something.

“Before I go, I should have an excuse.” I said, lingering in front of the door. The professors traded glances questioningly.

“An excuse, Ms. Rose?” Kettleburn asked politely.

“The others will ask what I’m up to if I’m here every night. I’m all for saving the world but it’ll be suspicious if I keep having meetings with all of you.” I looked between them, their faces acknowledging my point. As far as I knew, they were unaware of the Marauder’s Map and the Cloak but _I_ wasn’t and I was worried the boys would be checking up on me.

“Did you have something in mind, Ms. Rose?” Dumbledore asked with a twinkle in his eye. I did but it was a little out there. Also I _really_ wanted to mess with the boys. I quickly glanced over at McGonagall, slightly worried about what she’d say after I just yelled at her.

“I, well, I was thinking Animangus training.” McGonagall’s eyebrows almost shot off her face at my suggestion. Dumbledore looked thoughtful and Kettleburn had an impressed look. I put my hands up immediately. “I don’t actually want Animagus training. I’m already overloaded as it is, I just think it would be a good excuse for being here so much. It’s pretty extensive training, isn’t it Professor?” 

I kept my attention on the stern woman. She contemplated it for a moment. “It is. I never thought to offer the opportunity to any of the students. Most wizards and witches who decide to become Animagi do so after they finish school. Since you bring it up as an ‘excuse’ for these meetings though, are you sure you would not like to truly train to become an Animagus?”

Her gaze stayed on me as I thought about it. Did I? Maybe. It would be cool to turn into an animal but...I wasn’t here to do that. Training would take up valuable time that could be spent saving the people I cared about. I was already frustrated with the amount of homework I had and the limited opportunities I had to fix the future.

But the fact that McGonagall just _offered_ to train me, especially after I bit her head off, was tempting. I was honored that she wanted to help me and it hurt a little to decline it. “Maybe when I’ve got a better grip on this. I’m still getting used to the whole magic thing. Plus now I have _extra_ abilities to figure out.”

“Of course. I forget sometimes that this is new to you. You seem like such a natural at being a witch.” McGonagall gave me a small smile, her eyes softening. “I have a feeling that you’d excel at completing Animangus training but I understand.”

“Thanks, Professor. That -” I stopped, swallowing at the sudden wave of emotion hitting me. “That means a lot.”

Dumbledore clapped his hands together, ending our moment. “Excellent. We shall see you next Monday for Animganus training then, Ms. Rose. Enjoy your weekend.”

Dismissal clear, I exited the office with Tux and made my way back to the tower. I was getting better at remembering my way around the castle and felt a little pride when I reached the tower by myself a few minutes later. Walking into the common room, I found it empty for once. My watch read 11pm, _way_ later than I thought it was.

I hurried up the stairs with Tux to see that all of my roommates were tucked in for the night. Quietly, I got ready for bed and slipped in. I’d managed to sleep through the night last night but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be so lucky tonight.

\---

_Wind whipped my hair violently across my face. My hands were glued to the stick in front of me. When I turned, I saw Sirius screaming at me but couldn’t hear what he was saying. Panic pulsed through me and when I turned back, the ground became startling clear. I watched as the top of the broom crumpled as it met the grass and then -_

_Black._

_My mind felt as though it were staticky. I couldn’t move, my body frozen and my mind stuck in a blank space._

Gasping, I shot up in bed. Breathing hard, my hands flew to my head, making sure I was awake. Feeling every part of my upper body, I felt a little more confident that I was actually awake and in one piece.

Jesus fucking Christ, that was _terrifying_. The worst part was, it _could’ve_ been real. Not only did I have to deal with nightmares that might not ever happen, not if I could help it, but _now_ I was having nightmares about real things. Shit.

Taking a deep breath, I laid back down reluctantly. My body felt exhausted but I was worried about falling into another nightmare. Clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, I patted the bed and Tux hopped up next to me. Sighing in relief, I laid my arm across him after he settled down. I focused on him breathing next to me, a steady up and down as he fell back asleep.

If only I could fall asleep so easily.

\---

I plopped down between Jaimy and Sirius the next morning, Tux running to Sirius for attention. Jaimy looked up from his plate as he noticed my arrival. “How was your meeting last night?”

“Good. Minnie was pissed about Wednesday but I calmed her down a bit, pointing out that I’m fine and still in one piece.” I tilted my neck and popped out a kink. The satisfying pop had me sighing in relief. “She thinks we should be more positive and not assume I’m going to be almost murdered again.”

Sirius barked out a laugh next to me. “She shouldn’t keep her hopes up. With the way you insult Prongs, I think _he’ll_ kill you before someone else does.”

“Jaimy would _never_. Maybe maim or dismember me but Aunt Effie would disown him if ever tried to kill me for real. I’ll be sure to tell Minnie at my next training that you think Jaimy’s out to kill me though.” Pouring myself a mug of coffee, I wondered who would pick up on my subtle hint first.

Lily frowned over at us, tapping her fork against her plate lightly. “Training? What are you training with Professor McGonagall for? You’re doing well in Transfiguration.”

Damn, I was betting on Remus hearing that first. Said boy looked over curiously, oatmeal in front of him forgotten. Glancing around, I made sure the boys were listening and noticed Jaimy drinking his coffee. _Perfect_. “Animangus training.”

_“WHAT?!”_

_“POTTER!”_

_“FUCK!”_

It took me a second to take in what just occurred. Lily was _covered_ in second hand coffee courtesy of James, Sirius had dropped _his_ cup which spilled onto him and Peter, and Remus had dropped his spoon in surprise which splattered his oatmeal onto me. Wiping a glob of oatmeal from my face, I raised my eyebrow at the table. Alice and Marlene had luckily been far enough away that they hadn’t be a victim of the insanity.

James coughed next to me violently and I clapped him on the back hard. “Breathe, Jaimy.”

Glaring aggressively across the table, Lily waved her wand and cleaned up only herself and me. The other casualties had to clean themselves. Lily glanced at the boys who were now all staring at me in shock. “Have you all lost your _minds?_ ”

“You can’t be an Animangus!” James yelled, finally getting his airway cleared. “It’s too dangerous!”

I nodded slowly as if consoling a child. “That’s why McGonagall is training me. You’d have to be a complete _moron_ to try and do it on your own.”

He blanched at my words, eyes darting over my shoulder where I assumed Sirius had a similar look. I continued as if this were a normal conversation and not me telling them they were idiots. “I mean if I did it wrong, I could end up with antlers or a tail for the rest of my life. Half-girl, half-animal. Not sure what I’ll be yet but probably a dog based on my patronus.”

I heard a choke behind me and had to force myself not to laugh. James and I stared at each other intensely. If James could get any paler, he would and I was slightly worried he’d actually faint. Lily pulled me out of our staring contest. “That’s exciting, Syd! How did you managed to convince Professor McGonagall to train you? I didn’t know she even _did_ Animangus training.”

“She doesn’t. We were just talking and she offered to train me. I have to meet with her, Professor Dumbledore, and Professor Kettleburn almost every night after dinner. Apparently, it’s pretty intense training.” I took a sip of my coffee smugly. The boys finally cleaned themselves up, avoiding looking at me. Point for me.

Marlene sighed jealously. “You’re so lucky. I’d love to be an Animangus but I would probably be one of the ones who ended up half transformed.”

“What you think? Half-girl, half-frog?” Alice giggled next to her. 

“Half-girl, half-parrot?” Marlene giggled back.

Lily looked thoughtful for a moment. “I always thought I’d be a doe if I transformed.”

Before I could make a joke about it, there was a thump next to me and when I looked over, no one was there. Looking down in shock, I found Jaimy unconscious on the stone floor. James _actually_ fainted.

Lily shot up, concern written all over her face. “James?!”

The other two girls had stood up to see the poor boy too. Remus seemed to be on the edge of bursting out laughing. I leaned over and poked Jaimy in the forehead. “I think you broke him, Lily.”

Sirius leaned against my back, head over my shoulder to get a better look. “He’s still breathing. Hey, slap him and see if wakes up then.”

I squinted at him worriedly. “Why am I the one who has to slap him?”

“ _You’re_ the violent one. I’ve seen you tackle him, don’t act like you’re not itching to hit him in the face any chance you can get.” Sirius shot back with a smirk.

Frowning, I looked back down at my cousin. “I’m not _that_ violent.”

“You punched me in the face when I woke you up.” He pointed out, giving me a look.

“I didn’t do it on purpose -”

“Can _one_ of you please check on him already?” Lily interrupted. She looked genuinely worried which was interesting.

Sighing, I swung my legs over the bench and kneeled next to James. Lightly, and I mean _lightly_ , I slapped his cheek. He blinked slowly behind his glasses, trying to focus on me. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Syd?” He moved his head and winced. “Why am I on the floor? What did you do?”

“Why do you assume that it was _my_ fault?” I asked, slightly insulted. He raised an eyebrow at my question. “Hey! _You’re_ the one who fainted not me. It’s not my fault you swoon easily.”

He pushed himself up and rubbed the back of his head, hissing. “I did not _swoon_.”

“Prongs, we should get you to Poppy.” Remus said seriously across the table. Gathering his things quickly, he looked pointedly at Sirius and Peter, motioning his head towards the door.

“Right! Can’t have you swooning on us in class, Prongsie. Up you go,” Sirius swooped in and hauled James up. He threw an arm around James as I picked myself up off the floor. “Worm, grab our bags. Ladies, we’ll see you in class.”

The boys disappeared out the door before any of us could react. I turned to Lily to see her completely confused over the last few minutes. Shaking my head, I retook my seat. Those boys were about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. I could help the satisfied grin spread over my face though at their reactions. That was _way_ too much fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syd yelled at Minnie *gasp*
> 
> Ok but has anyone _looked_ at how to become an Animangus? It's insane. You have to carry a Mandrake leaf in your month for an entire _month_. I'm also curious what Sirius was wearing when he transformed for the first time. _Apparently_ whatever you're wearing the first time you transform becomes part of what you look like an animal. Sirius Black, how much leather _were_ you wearing?
> 
> I'd have to assume they did it during a break cause they would sure as shit be caught carry a _leaf_ in their mouth for a month.
> 
> ...this might end up being a chapter. I'm going on a rant here. Oops. I'm just so obsessed with HP right now and I can't stop. 
> 
> ALSO your comments are THE BEST. I was debating about it being Quirrell but I have reasons for Bellatrix. Also she's batshit crazy so anything she does is not surprising. BUT she's not always going to be the one almost killing Syd. Cause you know she's going to almost be killed at least a few more times. Sorry, Minnie.


	17. Blinded by the Light

“Today, we will begin our unit on dueling. As wizards and witches,” Brogan winked in the direction of Marlene, Alice, and Lily as I tried not to roll my eyes. “You may decide to become Aurors after graduating Hogwarts. And as this is _Defense_ Against the Dark Arts, it’s imperative that you learn to duel and therefore defend yourself. We discussed the Unforgivable Curses but there are many other nasty curses that you will need to be wary off.”

Brogan paced back and forth at the front of the classroom, hands behind his back as he observed us. “Now, I’m no fool. We will not be having _all_ of you duel at once. That would be utter chaos with the lot of you.”

Snickers could be heard around the room from the Gryffindors as well as the Slytherins. Of all the combinations of Houses for dueling lessons, this was probably the most volatile one.

“We will start with defensive spells and once you have all mastered these, we will move on to offensive spells. There are also defensive spells used to set up protections in your home, avoiding Muggles, and more. Turn to Chapter 3 in your books,” Several groans resounded around the room. I turned the pages to see that we would be starting with _Expelliarmus_. “Basic, I know _but_ this may the most used and useful defensive spell you will ever learn. Dueling is not just about showing off, it’s about _defeating_ your opponent and the best way to do that is?”

Hands shot in the air and Brogan pointed at Remus. “To take away their wand.”

“Exactly. Because what is a wizard without his wand? Nothing.” Brogan stated matter-of-factly. I frowned, thinking about his words. We were still capable of defeating someone _without_ a wand. Hell, I’d punched a guy or two who put his hands on me without permission and _won_ those fights. Guys were easy to beat with a swift kick to the balls after a good punch to the nose or eye. “In a duel, having your wand on you will be the difference between winning...and death. Let’s have Potter and...Snape, come on up.”

Either Brogan was psychotic or dumber than I originally thought. The two boys eyed each other distastefully. As Jaimy went to stand up, I grasped his arm and hissed quietly. “Don’t go overboard.”

He rolled his eyes with a scoff, breaking away from me to go to the front of the room. Brogan had moved his desk further back, creating a space for the two students to practice. Worriedly, I picked at the skin on my lip. Brogan stood facing us, James on his right and Severus on his left. The boys glared at each other, the hatred between them almost palpable. Brogan smirked, looking back and forth between them.

That bastard knew _exactly_ what he was doing. But why? What was the point of riling them up?

“Nice and clean, gentlemen. We’ll skip the bowing nonsense. I want your best disarming charms on the count of three. And remember, you are _only_ to use _Expelliarmus_.” Brogan took a few steps back, emptying the space between the boys. “One. Two. _Three!_ ”

“ _EXPELLIARMUS!_ ” Two voices roared, the sound echoing in the room. Flashes of light met in the middle, causing an outward blast that knocked James and Severus right off their feet. They flew only a foot or so, James catching himself smoothly while Severus tripped and fell onto his back. Brogan clapped, walking forward a few steps.

“Worthy opponents. When used against each other, depending on the skill and power of the wizard, one can overpower the other. As you can see though, when _both_ dueling parties are equally matched, we can have the spells ricochet off one another. You may take a seat, gentlemen.” Brogan glanced around the room with a careful look. “LeStrange and...Rose.”

My heart dropped at the sound of my name. _Shit_. James gave me a worriedly look as we passed each other in the aisle. I didn’t look around to the others, I already knew they would have similar looks on their faces. I stepped up to where Jaimy had been and turned to face Rodolphus. He sneered at me, his wand already at the ready. Pulling my wand out, I spread my legs a bit to have a better stance.

I kept my eyes fixed on Rodolphus as Brogan spoke. “Remember, disarm _only_. I will take house points and give detentions to those who don’t follow my directions. On the count of three. One. Two. _Three._ ”

It may have been my imagination or paranoidness but I'm pretty sure he said that because of _me_.

“ _EXPELLIARMUS!_ ” I yelled, flicking my wand. I heard Rodolphus' voice simultaneously yell the spell. A heartbeat later, I watched Rodolphus flying back with wide eyes. His back hit the wall with a loud smack, his head snapping back hard. He crumpled to the ground groaning.

My eyes bugged out of my head, looking down at my opponent who was rubbing the back of his head. I didn’t even _feel_ his spell. I’m not sure it even reached me. Straightening, I turned to see Brogan eyeing me with an intense gaze. Chills crawled up my spine as he clapped just as he had for James and Severus.

“Well, Ms. Rose. Maybe next time, you could be less...forceful with your spell.” He said then walked over and helped Rodolphus stand. Inspecting the back of Rodolphus’ head, Brogan made a concerned noise. “Better head to the hospital wing, LeStrange. Can’t have you bleeding all over my classroom.”

Rodolphus stormed out of the room, shooting a glare at me before stepping out. Still frozen in my spot, I jumped when Brogan addressed me. “Ms. Rose, take a seat. I’d like to actually teach my students, not have them all sitting in the hospital wing.”

Gulping, I practically ran to my seat. James gave me a thumbs up as I sat next to him and I forced myself to smile back. Turning to the front of the room, I watched as the other students filtered up to practice.

Every pair either lost their wand or had a similar small rebound effect that James and Severus had had. No one else was thrown ten feet into a wall. I continued to pick my lip the entire class, worry and confusion infecting my thoughts. 

Brogan had suggested that I be less forceful when practicing. The problem was...I hadn’t even really _tried._

What would’ve happened if I _had?_

\---

Friday night found us in our usual spot, sitting around the coffee table by the fireplace. James was off on Prefect rounds with Dory and Alice had disappeared, most likely to the Hufflepuff common room. I sat in one of the armchairs learning how to play Wizard’s Chess from Remus. I hadn’t finished my homework but promised Lily I would get up early with her to go to the library tomorrow.

“King to D6.” I said, watching as the piece moved to the spot.

Remus smirked up at me. “Queen to D6.”

I glared jokingly at him as his Queen smashed my King to pieces. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“It’s funny watching you try and beat me.” He grinned, throwing me a wink. I sighed and we continued our game, Remus winning in the end.

“Again. I’m going to get this sooner or later.” I declared. Remus set the board back up and we began round 2. I groaned in defeat as he managed to win in only four moves.

“Give up, love. He’s reigning champ in the tower. Nobody has beaten him.” Sirius called from his spot on the couch. Peter sat at his feet working on homework as Sirius watched our game. Marlene and Lily sat at the table, chatting away while also working.

Lily looked up at Sirius with a pout, drawn out of her conversation at Sirius’ words. “I’ve _almost_ beaten him five times. That should count for something.”

“It’ll count when you win, Lils.” Sirius replied. 

Lily huffed and stood, walking over towards Remus and I. “My turn.”

I shook my head at Sirius who had a mischievous look on his face. He’d just played Lily like a fiddle and I could tell he was proud of himself for messing with her. Sitting down in her vacated spot, I picked up Butter who was curled up on the floor and placed her in my lap. I sneezed then sneezed once again.

“Bless you.” Lily said still concentrating on her game. 

Shooting her a small smile, I sniffled softly. “Thanks. Must be my allergies acting up.”

Marlene cocked her head at me questioningly. “Wait, are you allergic to cats?”

I turned to her and nodded. “Yeah. And dogs.”

“What?!” Sirius barked in shock. Marlene looked even more confused as Remus, Lily, and Peter stopped what they were doing to listen in.

“You _have_ a dog.” Peter pointed out the obvious.

I shrugged, continuing to pet Butter. I opened my mouth to answer but had to stop to sneeze once more. Sniffing as discreetly as I could, I answered. “It’s not always that bad. When I was younger, I actually had a device to help me breathe because of the allergies and asthma I had. It’s gotten a lot better over the years but I still get hives sometimes if Tux is stressed or start sneezing if there’s too much dander. I also try not to rub my eyes after I’ve pet an animal. My eyes turn red and get really itchy.”

I looked over at Sirius who seemed to be frozen in confusion. It was a _little_ funny thinking about how I was technically allergic to his Animangus form. Remus must’ve been thinking the same thing because a laugh escaped him. Snorting, he wiped the tears from his eyes while Sirius glared at him from the couch. “That is...Sydney, you just made my night. Allergic to animals. You literally saved that cat from being killed and you’re _allergic_ to it. Sirius was right about the lack of self-preservation.”

The portrait door flung open and James strolled in, plopping down on Sirius’ legs. Sirius kicked him in the ribs so James smacked him in the shoulder. They settled after a moment and James turned to the group. “So, what’d I miss?”

Remus fell into a fit of giggles again. Yes, _giggles_. James gave him a worried look and raised an eyebrow at me for explanation. I sighed. “We were talking about the fact that I’m allergic to cats and dogs.”

“You’re _what?_ ” James asked in shock. Sirius grumbled something next to him that I couldn’t hear. “You _have_ a dog!”

“Good observation, Jaimy. Want a cookie?” He threw a pillow from behind Sirius at me. I caught it swiftly, placing it next to me for future use. “I really like dogs so I suck it up and deal with it.”

Remus let out another peal of laughter, practically falling out of his chair. Lily sighed. “I think we’ve lost him. It’s getting late anyway and _you_ , Syd, promised we’d be up early.”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am.” I saluted her, pushing myself up. I dropped Butter onto Sirius’ lap, calling for Tux. Marlene gathered her items and we followed Lily up the stairs.

Just as I rounded the curved wall, I heard Remus snort in laughter. “ _Allergic_.”

\---

I trudged down the stairs after the bubbly, perky red head, my blanket around my shoulders. I was just happy she hadn't noticed I was still in pajamas. As soon as the couch by the fire was in sight, I beelined for it and collapsed into a pile, curling into a ball.

"Sydney! Come on!" Lily complained.

I growled and burrowed deeper into the couch. Oh my. This was the comfiest couch ever. I love it. I want to marry it.

"Lily, what's wrong with Sydney?" I heard James asked. Noooooooooooo. Go away, Jaimy and co. I want to sleep.

"Sydney promised to go to the library with me today but she won't get up!" Lily hissed above me. I _had_ promised to go with her but I’d gotten maybe an hour of sleep after a repeat of the broom nightmare and it actually _burned_ when I opened my eyes. 

"Shhhh. Library later." I muttered. The couch sank at my feet. With the blanket over my head, I couldn't see who was sitting there but the next words revealed it.

"Love, let me have some blanket." Sirius whined. Yes, whined. He pushed my feet over and I kicked him.

"Get your own." I growled. Suddenly, light burned my eyes and goosebumps covered my skin. "SIRIUS!"

I turned to see the boy with my blanket on him. Narrowing my eyes, I quickly grabbed one side and joined him under it. The blanket was more than big enough to cover us both but I was tired and hadn't wanted to share. _Now_ I didn't want to move. Sirius is so warm. Like a furnace. I cuddled up to his side and sighed. Lily and James continued to argue above us.

"Why are you up so early?" I muttered. He closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around my waist to get more comfortable. And it was _comfortable_. I never thought that laying on someone else's arm would be comfy but now I never wanted to move.

"Quidditch." He whispered, not wanting to attract their attention. "We had a mutiny. Team outvoted him on Saturday morning practices.”

“Sounds like torture. I’m for the mutiny.” I muttered, wriggling around to slot my face against his neck. There was a little voice in me that wanted to berate me for acting like this but sleepy me is _very_ hard to argue with. And _apparently_ Sleepy Syd is prone to cuddling.

“I offered to play with him today to make up for it. I didn’t think he’d want to do it so bloody _early_.” He shifted me slightly and I sighed as he pulled the blanket up over shoulders to my neck. “He can get stuffed. You're much better than Quidditch."

"Tha-"

"Padfoot! What are you doing?! Get off my cousin and come play Quidditch!" James yelled. We both groaned.

"How about you go to the library with Lily, Jaimy? Sirius and I are sleeping." I muttered grumpily.

"SYDNEY! How could you even-" Lily ranted but I cut her off before she could really get going.

"Simple. You and James are both morning people. Sirius and I, and everyone else with a normal brain, like to sleep in when there's no school. So instead of torturing me and Sirius, go hang out with James who's already up." My leg was slightly awkward from how I was letting it rest against the other, one on top of the other. Sirius’ hand pulled it by the back of my knee so my leg was now it was thrown over his thighs. I vaguely wondered how he realized I was a tad bit uncomfortable but was also super distracted by his hand on my bare leg. "Night."

"But-you-ugh!" Lily yelled then stormed out of the room. James looked a little lost as I watched through slitted eyelids.

"Run, Prongs. Go get Lily." Sirius encouraged. James nodded and then followed his love out the door. Sirius and I both sighed at the same time. "Finally."

"Mmmhh." I mumbled then fell quiet. Within seconds, I was in a deep sleep. 

\---

Laughter woke me. One eye popped open to see a gaggle of girls and younger boys giggling. Groaning, I buried my face deeper into Sirius’ neck.

Wait a sec.

Why is Sirius’ neck under my face?

My groggy fog cleared very slowly as I remember Lily waking me up and trying to drag me to the library to do homework. Hmm, I wonder how long ago that was. I’m surprised that no one woke us up earlier and scolded us. Say like Remus. He seems like he would be a scolder. I heard a throat clearing somewhere above my head and rolled my head slowly. Speak of the devil.

“Do I _want_ to know why you and Sirius are on the couch?” He asked wryly. 

“LlndJsksss.” I mumbled as I plunked my head back down. You would think that someone smacking their head into your neck would wake you up. Nope, Sirius kept on sleeping.

“Come again?” Remus asked.

“Lily and James.” I muttered. “Tried to kill us.”

Remus shooed the onlookers while I struggled to sit up. Sirius had latched onto me during our little nap, making it difficult to escape. Maneuvering myself, I scooted back then placed on arm over Sirius’ chest and rested my chin in the crook of my elbow. The other arm propped me up. “They tried to kill you so you decided to sleep with Sirius?”

“I’m not _sleeping_ with Sirius. I’m napping with him.” I argued. Remus _really_ needed to change the subject. My mind was still pretty cobwebby and talk of sleeping with Sirius while _laying_ on him was pushing my self control.

“Shh, Syd. Too much talking.” Sirius mumbled.

I poked him in the chest. Sirius eyes opened a slit and I pointed up. Sirius tilted his head back to see his taller friend raising an eyebrow at him.

“Hey, Moony.” Sirius greeted.

“Hey, yourself. Comfortable?” He asked with a smirk.

“Very.” Sirius replied with his own cocky smirk and tighten his hold around my waist. I let out a sigh, trying to control my heartbeat. Like _that_ would actually work. Sirius managed to make my heart beat out of my chest with a look. It was a miracle I hadn’t had a heart attack yet. “Where’s Worm?”

“Still sleeping. I’m heading down to eat. You two coming? Or are you going to stay like until Prongs finds you?” Remus asked, sounding amused at the idea.

“Mmhmm, yeah.” Sirius mumbled. I shook my head right before Sirius flipped our positions. I’m not even sure how he did it but one second I was resting on top of him, the next my back was against the couch and he was pushing himself up to stand. Never thought I’d be one to enjoy being manhandled but _damn_ that was smooth. Trying to control my blush, I pulled the blanket back and burrowed into the couch.

“I’ll come later.” I yawned. Two large hands grabbed my waist pulling the blanket with me and the next thing I knew, I was looking at Sirius’ ass. Admittedly, not the worst thing to look at in the morning. When I tilted to the side, I could see Remus shaking his head at us. I didn’t even protest, I just let my captor carry me down the stairs. The Great Hall was a lot farther than I realized when I had a shoulder digging into my stomach. Also it was an odd view. Tux trotted along with us, weaving around Sirius. 

“Morning, Professor.” Sirius greeted above me. I turned to see Professor Flitwick watching us with startled eyes. Sirius deposited me on the bench and sat down next to me. Instantly, I leaned against him and he responded by wrapping on arm around my back to support me. Yawning, I pulled the blanket up over my shoulder and closed my eyes.

I could feel Sirius moving as he poured himself coffee one handedly. My exhaustion was worse than normal though and before I knew it, I fell back into a deep sleep.

\---

“That was fast.” Remus observed quietly. Sirius looked down to see Syd fast asleep on his shoulder. He smiled softly at the relaxed look on her face.

“I’m surprised she can sleep with all this nois -” Sirius cut himself off as Syd slipped down. Before Sirius could catch her, her head landed in his lap. Sirius froze, unsure what to do for a moment. Syd continued to sleep as if nothing had happened, turning over so her face was against his stomach, even going so far as to nuzzle against him in her unconscious state.

_Mum in her underwear. Regulus in a dress. Prongs -_

Sirius startled guilty at Remus’ voice. He looked up to see his best friend with a smug look. “At least turn her onto her back. Don’t want to scar the Hufflepuffs.”

Pushing down the emotions that Syd had stirred up, as well as certain body parts, he carefully turned the sleeping girl so her back rested against the wooden bench with her head facing upwards. As soon as he’d managed to get her in a more appropriate position, she tried to turn to her side again. Letting out a huff of frustration, Sirius moved her back then kept his hand against her stomach to hold her in place. Sirius shot a glare at Remus who was laughing across from him. “Shut it, Moony.”

“Just don’t drop any food on her.” He gave Sirius a shit-eating grin. Rolling his eyes, Sirius tried to concentrate on his food rather than the girl fast asleep in his lap. They ate breakfast, quietly talking as Syd slept away. Sirius’ attention half on their conversation and half on the steady breathing of Syd, he was content to sit like this for as long as possible.

_**“OI! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?!”** _

Sydney shot up, slamming against the bottom edge of the table. Groaning loudly, her hands flung to her face as she rolled off of Sirius and onto the floor under the table. The blanket went with her and Sirius could hear her moaning in pain. Remus and Sirius stared wide eyed at each other, frozen in a panic.

“JAMES POTTER WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Screeched Lily, hair flying around her in her anger. Lily stood on the other side of the table behind Remus, absolutely livid.

“ME?! PADFOOT IS THE ONE WHO HAD MY COUSIN’S FACE IN HIS BLOODY LAP IN THE FUCKING GREAT HALL!” James flung an arm at the offending party.

Lily glared then ducked under the table. Her gasp was _loud_ before she shot back up in a rage. “HER FACE IS COVERED IN BLOOD, YOU TOERAG!”

“Merlin, Prongs! She was just _sleeping!_ ” Sirius argued. The two prefects continued to scream at each other as Sirius carefully slipped under the table to see Syd face first on the ground with the blanket semi-covering her. Her bare legs stretching out behind her as her hands rested on her head, small pained noises coming from her. “Love? You alive?”

“I think I’m blind.” She lifted her head up to meet Sirius’ face and he had to mentally stop himself from gasping like Lily had. Syd’s face was _covered_ in blood. There was a gash going from the middle of her forehead, running along the right side of her nose, fading to her upper lip. Her right eye had already started swelling and blood was dripping off of her chin. Sirius shot a glance to the underside of the table then back to her. Godric balls, he didn’t think she’d hit the table _that_ hard. “I can’t feel my nose and I can only partial see you. Is my eye still there? _Please_ say my eye is still there.”

The desperation in her voice hit him hard and he swallowed down the urge to wrap his arms around her in comfort. “Both eyes are where they’re supposed to be, love. I think you’re in shock.”

Her breathing was on the edge of panic. Sirius gently reached over and touched her cheek, wiping some of the blood away. He could hear her breath stutter at the touch, her eyes watching him intensely. “Let’s get you to Poppy, love. Don’t want you to scar.”

She huffed, pushing herself up into a sitting position. “I _like_ scars. They’re like tattoos but with better stories.”

Frowning, she put her hands in front of her face, moving them towards it then away. Tilting her head back to him, she sighed. “I think you’re going to have to lead me there. I really can’t see out of one eye.”

Tux nudged her in the ear and she shook him off gently. He whined in response, worried about his owner. Sirius leaned forward and gave him a compensation scratch behind his ears. “Anything for you, love. Now, let’s make Prongs feel _really_ guilty about being an overreacting arsehole.”

A grin spread across her face, blood covering her lips. It was slightly unnerving while also being adorable. Merlin, this girl was going to be the death of him. “I told you he would maim me at some point. I can’t wait for Aunt Effie to hear about this. He’s going to be in so much trouble.”

“I think he already is, love.” Sirius smirked and pointed towards the lower half of Lily. They crawled out from under the table, Syd pulling her blanket with her, to the gasps of horror throughout the Hall. Sirius helped Syd up with one hand, keeping her steady. When she stood, he couldn’t help but notice that the shirt she was wearing covered her shorts and it seemed as though she weren’t wearing pants. Syd was really pushing his self control today.

“Merlin, Syd.” James’ face had drained of color as he saw the state his cousin was in. “I’m _so_ sorry. I didn’t -”

“DIDN’T WHAT, POTTER? MEAN TO SCARE THE EVER LOVING SHITE OUT OF HER?” Lily demanded, arms crossed and glaring aggressively at the messy haired boy. He gulped and looked between Syd and Lily with guilt.

Syd muttered under her breath. “Uh oh. We’re using surnames, Jaimy’s really fucked up.”

“I’m going to take her up to Poppy.” Sirius informed them, hand firmly on Syd’s lower back as she swayed a bit. “We’ll see you lot later.”

Before she could protest, Sirius wrapped the blanket loosely around her lower half then swooped her off of her feet to carry her bridal style. Her arms shot up and wrapped around his neck, an immediate reaction to the new position. She began her demands before he’d even turned to leave. “Sirius! Put me down!”

“No can do, love.” He grinned down at the angry face glaring at him. Tux was on his heels as they left the Hall.

“I am perfectly capable of walking _on my own_.” She attempted to escape and Sirius held her tighter, preventing her from going anywhere.

He raised an eyebrow down at the pink haired girl. “You’re losing a lot of blood and look as though you’re going to pass out. Just enjoy the ride, love.”

She snorted. “Ride. You’re not a damn rollercoaster.”

“Depends on the position.” He winked suggestively. She rolled her eyes but he caught the small smile on her lips. They arrived at the tall doors to the Hospital Wing with only a few more protests and one attempt at bargaining. Sirius put his back to the door and opened it to see Poppy at the ready.

Her mouth dropped open when she saw Syd’s face. Poppy ushered them inside, slightly frantic. “On the bed!”

Sirius walked quickly to the nearest cot and placed Syd carefully on the sheets. As he pulled his arms away, prepared to step aside for Poppy, her hand shot out and grasped his arm tightly. “Don’t you dare leave me here alone, Sirius Black. I’m partially blind and I’m still not sure you were telling me the truth about my eye.”

“Love, why would I lie about that?” Poppy came up on the other side of the bed and began to work on cleaning Syd’s face. Syd kept her gaze on him though, intent on keeping him with her.

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly. “To make me feel better. If I have to get a fucking eye patch, I -”

“Ms. Rose, don’t be so dramatic. Mr. Black is telling the truth, both of your eyes are there.” Poppy said exasperated. Her wand ran over Syd’s face, now free of blood. Poppy frowned as the wand passed over Syd’s eye. “The partial blindness is worrying though. Ms. Rose, follow the light on my wand.”

Sirius watched as Syd’s left eye followed Poppy’s lit wand tip but the right stayed stationary. He could hear the worry in her voice when she asked about it. “It’s not moving, is it?”

Poppy hummed, not answering out right. Syd’s hand squeezed his, he could see the tension in her shoulders tighten at the unanswered question. Sirius was going to _throttle_ Prongs when he saw him next. He tried to lighten her mood. “Well if you need to get a new one, I bet Dumbledore knows a guy. They can probably make it into a crystal ball eye and you can show people their future. That would be _wicked_.”

“Or see through things.” She muttered, barely cracking a smile. As Poppy walked off, she turned to him. Her left eye watched him warily as the right eerily stayed in one place with the eyelid swollen around it. “It didn’t move, did it?”

“I wouldn’t worry -” Her breath sucked in sharply at his words and he hurried to reassure her. “Poppy can fix anything. One time I broke my pelvis in 4 places, shattered my left leg, and somehow had moss growing out of a gash on my ribs. It only took three days for her to put me back together.”

“Wh - no, you know what? I don’t want to know how you did that. Somehow I think it might stress me out more.” She frowned, moving the pad of her pointer finger back and forth along the edge of her thumb nail. Poppy came bustling back, carrying several potions.

“Mr. Black, you can return to breakfast or the tower, wherever you go on Saturdays.” She waved him away, her focus on her patient who shot him a scared look. Sirius didn’t move from his spot, looking between the two women apprehensively. Poppy rolled her eyes at him. “Ms. Rose will be fine. I’m going to keep her here for the weekend.”

“The whole weekend?” Syd asked disappointingly. It took Sirius a moment to realize that Poppy meant the _whole_ weekend. As in not just all of today but tomorrow too. Syd was supposed to watch her first Quidditch match with them tomorrow.

“Did you want your eyesight back, Ms. Rose?” The nurse asked dryly. Sighing, Syd nodded. “This potion first and then these two. You’ll be as good as new when you wake up tomorrow night. Mr. Black, you can return to pick her up tomorrow if you’d like but there really is no reason for you to stay.”

Sirius opened his mouth to say goodbye to Syd but she held tight to his hand, giving him a pleading look. “Can he just stay til I fall asleep? Please?”

Poppy let out an exaggerated sigh, glancing between the two of them. “Alright but as _soon_ as you fall asleep, Ms. Rose. You need to rest for these potions to work.”

Taking one potion at a time, Syd grimaced as she downed each one. When she’d taken all of them, her eyes began to droop and she was leaning against the pillows behind her heavily. Once Poppy had cleaned up and left them alone, Sirius took a seat on the edge of the bed. He held Syd’s hand, rubbing his thumb in circles across the back of it. “Feeling better?”

“Mmm.” She hummed, struggling to focus on him. He couldn’t help the smile on his face as he watched her. “Don’t be mad at Jaimy.”

“Who said I was mad at Prongs?” Sirius said innocently. Even doped up on several potions, she could still raise her eyebrow and give him a disbelieving look. He rolled his eyes with a sigh. “I’m just upset that you got hurt. There was no reason for him to scare the - what was it, Lily said? ‘Ever loving shite’ out of you.”

She grinned sleepily at him, eyes opening and closing slower now. “You’ll tell me about the game tomorrow? I’m sorry I’ll miss it. I was...kind of excited to watch.”

“I’ll give you a play by play, love. Promise.”

She yawned, eyes finally closing and staying closed. Sirius stayed until her breathing slowed and the grip on his hand loosened. He waited a little longer, just watching as she slept. A cleared throat behind him startled him. He glanced over his shoulder to see Poppy gesturing for him to leave. Reluctantly he stood and she went back into her office. Glancing over to make sure he was alone, he turned back to Syd and pushed a few stray hairs away from her face. Leaning down, he brushed his lips lightly against her forehead and heard her sigh softly. “Get some rest, love.”

He signaled for Tux to follow him, Syd wouldn’t want him being neglected while she was unconscious. He whined but Sirius gave him a look to which he hung his head. Ruffling the the top of Tux’s head, Sirius gave him a soft smile. Silently, he left the hospital wing with Tux and made his way back towards the tower determinedly. Despite Syd asking him not to be mad at her cousin, Sirius walked back with only one thing on his mind. Punching Prongs in the face until _he_ couldn’t see out of one eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly I want Syd to have EVERY opportunity to fuck with the boys. But the allergy thing is very true about myself. I am allergic to cats and dogs and have owned multiple over the years plus I've volunteered at animal shelters on and off AND worked at a vet's office. Me = no self preservation. I would rather being sneezing, runny eyed, and barely breathing than live without a pet.
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos, comments, and love. I hope you're all doing well and are safe/healthy.


	18. I Found A Way

Murmurs filtered into my ears. My right eye had a dull throb and I felt very cobwebby, much more so than normal. Groaning, I blinked open my eyes to see gray ones watching me carefully. “Morning, love.”

I rubbed the sleepies away then opened my eyes again. I was in the hospital wing and -

“Told you she’d be fine, Pads.”

Frowning, I looked to the voice at my feet. Jaimy sat crosslegged next to Tux, my feet lying between them. It was then that I realized Jaimy and Sirius weren’t the only ones there. Lily, Remus, Marlene, Alice, and Frank sat in chairs around me. “What’s going on?”

“Poppy said we could wait for you to wake up.” Jaimy said cheerfully. A dark bruise shadowed his right eye. I didn’t remember him having that before I fell asleep.

Remus scoffed. “You mean you annoyed Poppy until she let us in. I’m surprised she didn’t give you a black eye to match the one Padfoot gave you.”

I swung my head to Sirius who had the decency to look slightly ashamed. Clutching my head, I groaned softly at the fast movement. Damn, seems I wasn’t a 100% yet. Sirius shot up, at my side in an instant. “Do you need another pain potion? How many fingers am I holding up?”

Amused, I looked up at his worried face. “Three.”

"The game finished an hour ago so we thought we'd join Lily and Remus on their shift." Marlene said, one leg thrown over the arm of her chair and the other tucked underneath her.

"Shift?" They couldn't mean -

"We've been taking shifts, waiting for you to wake up." Lily explained, giving me a small smile. "We didn't want you to wake up alone. Especially since _someone_ caused you to end up here in the first place."

"I get it, Evans. I fucked up. She's fine though! Good as new!" James gestured to me, grinning madly when I gave him a look.

“I’ve got it!” A squeaky voice yelled. I turned to see Peter bursting through the doors then scramble over with a mug. He thrust the hot mug into my hands, panting. “Remus and Sirius sent me to get coffee.”

“T-thanks, Peter.” As grateful as I was for the coffee, I was completely thrown by the kind gesture. And by the crowd sitting around me. I could feel my throat closing and tears welling in my eyes, I stared at the coffee trying to calm myself down.

Sirius leaned in close, I could feel him by my right shoulder. “Love, does it hurt? Do you need -”

“N-no,” I tried to say like a normal person but my voice turned into a sob. Two hands rubbed my back, one on either side of me and I couldn’t help crying more. “I-I’m just - you all - you’re all _here_.”

“Of course we’re here.” Jaimy said, resting a hand on my foot. I wiped away tears and looked over at him. “You needed us.”

His words sent a fresh round of sobs through me. Remus saved my mug of coffee from my hand before I ended up spilling it all over myself.

“What have the lot of you done to my patient?” A sharp voice cut through the room. All nine heads whipped around to see Pomfrey storming over. “Out! I let you in here _one time_ and you’ve managed to do exactly what I told you _not_ to do!”

“Madame Pomfrey, please don’t make them go!” I begged, wiping my face. I swallowed down the tears, intent on calming down. “I was just...overwhelmed for a moment. I didn’t expect all of them here when I woke up. I’m fine, I promise. Please let them stay.”

Pomfrey glared at the crowd around me, daring one of them to upset me again. Biting my lip, I watched her hopefully and waited for the verdict. “Alright but I need to see how you are. Are you sure you want all of them here?”

“Yes, I’ll tell them everything later anyways.” She nodded and gestured for me to settle down.

Leaning against the pillows, Remus moved to the side to allow Pomfrey to inspect me. Waving her wand over my form, everyone patiently waited around us. Sirius’ hand was resting on my arm now, his thumb moving in nonsensical circles. With a wave of her wand, a chart unfurled behind James. Startled, he almost fell off the bed but caught himself just in time. Guess those Quidditch reflexes were good for something. “Ms. Rose, if you would read the lines for me. Left to right.”

The chart was exactly what they used a Muggle doctor’s office. Turning my attention to the chart, I began to recite the letters. “E, F, P, T, O, Z, L, P, E, D, P, E, C, F, D, E, D, F, C, Z, P, F, E, L, O, P, Z, D, D, E, F, P, O, T, E, C, L, E, P -”

My voice faltered as I squinted, trying to see the letter clearer. “I mean, F.”

“It’s alright, Ms. Rose. Keep reading out the letters until there are no more or they’re unclear.” Pomfrey said encouragingly.

Focusing back on the chart, I continued but knew my tone was betraying the fact that I knew what was happening. “O, B, F, O, T, E, G, P, L...”

Frustrated, I stopped for a moment. The letters were blurring the further I went down. But I’d _had_ an eye exam over the summer and I had 20/20 vision. Pomfrey flicked her wand and the chart furled up with a snap. 

“Well, Ms. Rose, while you are not blind as you previously thought, you _will_ need glasses for the moment.” She tilted my head towards her gently, examining the offending eye. “Not common for eye injuries but it happens. It may just need time to heal itself. Magic and potions can only do so much, our bodies need to do the rest. Mr. Potter, I assume you have an extra pair in your possession?”

“Of course. Mum thinks I’m going to loose them but I never do. Can’t bloody see without them.” James answered.

“Would it be alright if I charmed them for your cousin?” She asked him seriously. My eyes widened in shock. I was going to have to wear _glasses?_ “I could have an owl sent out but -”

“On it!” James said enthusiastically and flew off the bed and out the door. Dumbstruck, I turned from the door to Pomfrey.

“How long am I going to have to wear them?” My voice cracked on the last word.

Pomfrey gave me a comforting look. “I’m sorry, dear. I can’t say for sure. Eye injuries are similar to brain injuries. Sometimes they heal quickly and sometimes they take a while. I’m confident that your eyesight _will_ return, if you don't have anymore injuries to the eye, but I can’t say when that will happen.”

“Oh.”

“But otherwise, she’s fine, Poppy?” Sirius asked next to me. I had slightly forgotten the others were there. The news that I would have to wear _glasses_ just completely blindsided me.

Pomfrey raised an eyebrow at the familiar use of her first name. “Yes, Mr. Black. The wound healed quiet nicely, as you can see. I wouldn’t expect that hair to grow back though, Ms. Rose.”

“What?” I gave her confused look. She conjured a hand mirror and handed it to me. I looked into it to see my reflection except...there was a slash on the inner part of my right eyebrow. Although the scar was barely noticeable, the hair missing was _very_ noticeable.

James came skidding back in, rushing over and thrusting the glasses at Pomfrey. “Here. Never even took them out of the box.”

She took them gently, turning back to me to wave her wand over my eyes once more. Immediately, she waved her wand over the glasses and they shimmered for a moment. Pomfrey handed them to me and gestured for me to try them on. Taking a deep breath, I slid the wire frames past my temples, over my ears and up my nose. Blinking, I looked around.

 _Wow_. Everything was so _clear_ now. I couldn’t remember my eyesight being so sharp. Remus was the first one to say something. “ _Now_ I see the family resemblance. It’s like looking at a girl Prongs. Except you know, with pink hair.”

“You’re free to leave, Ms. Rose. If you feel any dizziness, pain, or anything abnormal, come straight back. Give yourself a moment to get adjusted to your glasses before you go though.” Pomfrey walked back towards her office with precise steps.

Turning to face the group around me, I squinted accusingly at Sirius. “I _told_ you Jaimy would maim me.”

Said maimer squawked in protest. “You had your _face_ in Padfoot’s _lap!_ ”

I graciously took my mug back from Remus who met me halfway without me asking. Glaring at my cousin, I grumbled. “I was _sleeping_. You really think I’d be sucking him off in front of the whole _school?_ ”

Sirius choked next to me, coughing loudly. James went wide eyed and stared between the two of us, mouth dropping open in horror. He turned his attention to Sirius and pointed violently. “You said you two _weren’t shagging!_ ”

“We’re not!” Sirius and I yelled at the same time. A blush rushed to my cheeks and I quickly took a sip of coffee, trying to hide my embarrassment.

“Then why would you be _sucking him off_ at all?!” James screeched, throwing his hands up. Sirius groaned and facepalmed himself.

Rolling my eyes, I tried to calm down my irrational cousin. “There is no sucking, Jaimy. I was just trying to make a point.”

“Before Prongs digs himself _further_ into his pit of despair, we should get out of here or Poppy is actually going to give you a matching black eye, Prongs.” Remus stood, gathering the group up as I stared at him in awe.

“Did you -” I stopped, at a loss for a second. “Did you just make a Princess Bride reference?”

“I’m half Muggle and constantly read, Syd. Of _course_ I’m going to make a Princess Bride reference whenever possible.” He smirked, steering James towards the door. “Get your Wesley and get moving, Buttercup.”

My jaw dropped open as everyone except for Sirius swept out the door. I turned to see him watching me with amusement. “I don’t understand the reference but I’m going to assume I’m the Wesley. Is he as dashingly handsome as me?”

I could actually _feel_ the burn in my cheeks. Sirius’ grin grew wider as he saw my blush. “I - you - where did you _get_ him?”

“Picked him up on the train.” Sirius held out a hand which I took. He pulled me up, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth to call Tux just like I did. Tux hopped down from the bed and joined us as we walked out. “Really need to stop collecting strays, though. Feed them once and they follow you _forever_. He’s lucky he’s cute or we would’ve given him to Lily years ago. She _loves_ collecting strays.”

“I feel like it was the other way around. You’re more stray-like than Remus is.” I ruffled his hair and he swatted me away. “The long hair, kinda smell all the time, always eating all the food -”

“Woah, woah, woah. Last I checked, _you_ were the one who could eat 4 servings of potatoes in one sitting.” Sirius shot back good-naturedly.

“Those potatoes were made by gods. I would’ve had 5 if _someone_ hadn’t pushed them away from me.” I grumbled, taking a sip of coffee. I may forget to eat, side effect of not sleeping, but when I do eat, I _eat_. Those potatoes last week had been _almost_ as good as my mom’s. Almost.

Sirius sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Make me potatoes that good and we’ll talk about it.” I pushed my new glasses up my nose, closer to my eyes. We caught up to the others as they were entering the portrait hole. I still couldn’t believe they’d all been there when I’d woken up. The only person, besides my family, who would’ve done something like that was Emmy. I didn’t understand how I could be lucky enough to have this many people who cared about me and checked on me when I was hurt. It strengthened my need to help them, to save their futures. Which meant I needed to get to work.

\---

I rubbed the bridge of my nose, trying to push away the nightmare from last night that was still poking around my brain. I’d been on the broom again but this time it was James next to me instead of Sirius. And his broom was also out of control. He splatted seconds before I did and I’d woken up gasping for air.

Leaning closer to the mirror, I studied myself with the glasses on. Shit. Remus was right, I looked _just_ like James with them. It was more than just the same colored eyes and the unruly brown hair. Mine was much longer and currently pink but I remembered the _very_ few times I’d cut it short, it was impossible to tame. There was something similar about our faces, the nose and the high cheekbones. With the glasses on, it made those similar features _much_ more noticeable.

But it was just a coincidence. It _had_ to be. I wasn’t from here. And it wasn’t like I was adopted or anything. We’d done DNA tests as a family joke last Christmas. Apparently different siblings had a different variation of genes and we had wanted to see for ourselves. Hayley and Jessa’s had some issues because the company had thought we’d sent the same sample twice. Once we explained they were twins, they sent the same results for both of my sisters.

We’d had fun comparing our results. I’d ended up having more British in me, specifically from West England. Shay had had more German genes in her and we’d spent the rest of the day talking in terribly inaccurate accents.

But I was in a different _world_ , not just a different time. It would be impossible to find a long lost cousin in a different plane of existence. Wouldn’t it?

Pushing that train of thought from my mind, I leaned in again and pulled the glasses off my face. The slash in my eyebrow was a little unnerving. Slashed eyebrow, glasses, and pink hair. I didn’t even look like myself anymore. My brown roots were starting to show at the top of my head. Maybe I’d dye it back, get a little familiarity when I looked into the mirror instead of being shocked that it was me standing there.

Shaking my thoughts away, I put my new glasses on and finished getting ready. Flipping my head down, I gathered my hair into one hand then secured it with my hair tie. I headed down with Lily, Tux weaving around us, and we joined the others for breakfast.

At the Gryffindor table, we sat eating and chatting. Well, actually I was getting a play by play from Sirius, James, and Remus of the game yesterday while everyone else was chatting about non-Quidditch related things. The owls flew in as they did every morning in the middle of our conversation. A dark brown one landed in front of Lily with her copy of the Prophet. She promptly fed it a piece of bacon and it flew off. Then a tawny barn owl landed swiftly in front of us. James’ face went white as a sheet as the owl dropped a scarlet red envelope in front of him.

“Shite.” Sirius whispered, backing up slightly on the bench.

I eyed the envelope as if it were a bomb, knowing what it held. Remus shook his head across the table from us. “You knew that was coming, Prongs. Better open it before -”

The letter burst open on its own before Remus could finish. The furious voice of Effie Potter echoed in the Great Hall.

_**“JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER! YOU HAD ONE JOB! ONE BLOODY JOB! TAKE CARE OF YOUR COUSIN! AND I HAVE TO GET A LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE EXPLAINING HOW YOU CAUSED HER TO GO PARTIALLY BLIND! YOU ARE LUCKY I DON’T COME OVER THERE AND CAUSE YOU TO GO COMPLETELY BLIND! IF YOU SO MUCH AS PULL HER HAIR, JAMES POTTER, I WILL DRAG YOU BACK HOME AND YOU WILL BE GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! LITERALLY! YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH A BLOODY BROOM AGAIN! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!”** _

James nodded in shock at the letter, unable to look away from the terrifying parchment. The letter nodded back then tore itself up, the pieces drifting down onto his plate full of food. Every eye in the Hall stared at him. Even _Lily_ looked a little sorry for him.

“Imagine if I’d _actually_ gone blind. She’d probably burn your broom in front of you.” James turned his wide eyes on me, horror etched in his face at the thought of someone burning his broom.

“Sydney, I am _begging you_ ,” James whispered desperately. “ _Please_ stop ending up in the hospital wing.”

“Can’t make any promises, cuz.” I winked behind my glasses as his face lost more blood. He groaned and thumped his forehead onto the table in defeat. The Hall started filling back up with noise, the drama of the letter forgotten. With a smile, I let James wallow in pity. “Hey, Remus, pass the coffee.”

\---

Stepping out of the Potions classroom, I sighed in relief. Slughorn had been impressed with the bezoar I’d turned in and invited me to join his Slug Club. I had to inform him that the only reason it was good was because of Severus. Luckily, he’d been disappointed and encouraged me to keep working hard.

We’d spent the class brewing an Exstimulo Potion. It was supposed to boost the spell power of the drinker. _If_ you brewed it right. I’d gotten a few ingredients wrong and had to be corrected by Severus before I ruined my potion. Potion making was _not_ my forte. Pushing up my glasses, I frowned as I watched several students rush by, towards a nearby courtyard.

“What the - Hey,” I stopped a 4th year Hufflepuff who was following the herd. “Where’s the fire?”

“Sirius Black is fighting Snape.”

“He’s _what?!_ ” I snapped. Pushing past the 4th year, I followed the rush of students towards the courtyard. Shoving my way through the crowd, my jaw dropped open at the sight before me. “What the _**hell**_ is going on?!”

Both boys paused in their duel to glance over at me before glaring at each other, wands at the ready. “Just teaching Snivellus to keep his hands to himself.”

Stalking straight between the two idiots, I put my hands on hips and glared at Sirius. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“He touched you,” Sirius spat. “Now move so I can hex him into the next century.”

“As if you could.” Severus sneered back.

“What are you _talking_ about?” My patience was thin. Remus, James, and Peter stood behind Sirius while Severus stood alone. The crowd circled, everyone jostling to get a good position.

“In potions, he grabbed your arm,” Sirius explained, still pointing his wand.

“My ar- He stopped me from blowing up the classroom!” I burst in anger. Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed for a moment. “Or at the very least, he stopped me from disfiguring my face for the rest of my life.”

“What -”

“I had the wrong ingredient! I almost put - what was it?” I turned to the other boy who was also pointing his wand at me.

“Dragon blood,” Severus responded quickly.

“So?” Sirius was still focused on Severus behind me.

“She could’ve cause the potion to explode, you imbecile.” Severus answered haughtily. Sirius opened his mouth to protest and I cut him off.

“Severus? Not helping.” I turned back to Sirius. “Is that it? You’re just pissed because he stopped me from blowing everyone up?”

Sirius struggled to form words for a moment. “He shouldn’t have touched you.”

“Says the guy who _literally_ threw me over his shoulder the other day! You know what?” I stormed over to Severus and threw my left arm over his shoulder. The guy tensed up so much I could feel it radiating off of him. I’m pretty he wasn’t breathing. “Ok, go ahead.”

“What - Syd, what are you doing?”

“I touched him. You can hex me now. Go for it.” I waved my free arm around, indicating the free shot he had.

“I’m not - Syd, I’m not going to hex you, that’s -” Sirius stuttered.

“Oh? So I can touch him but he can’t touch me? That’s going to be a little inconvenient if I almost destroy the whole room again. And considering how _bad_ I am at figuring out ingredients, that might be sooner rather than later.” 

“Sydney, can you _please_ just stop touching him?” Sirius gritted through his teeth. “You can’t be friends with him.”

“ _Excuse_ me? Last time I checked, I can be friends with whoever the hell I want.” I spat. How _dare_ he _tell_ me what to do. We’d grown close over the past few weeks, we’d saved each other’s lives, and I’m _pretty_ sure we were practically dating at this point but Lord help the boy cause I was about to tear him a new one.

“I -”

“You think you can just _tell_ me what to do and I’ll _roll over_ and do it?!” I stormed up to him in anger. “If I want to be friends with Severus then _I will_. If I want to marry the Giant Squid then _I will_. If I want to go fuck a werewolf on top of the Astronomy Tower then I goddamn _will_.” Remus immediately turned bright red, James choked, and Sirius’ hands clenched at my suggestion. I stabbed him in the chest with my finger. “Don’t think for a _second_ that you can _ever_ tell me what to do.”

“I’m just trying to protect you.”

“From what?!” I screeched. “Severus has been nothing but nice to me. And you know why that is? Because I am a goddamn _nice person_ and I _talk_ to him like a human being.”

“Unlike _some_ people.” Severus sneered. I spun and pointed at him.

“And you!” I yelled pointing at him. He visibly paled at my voice, taking a step backwards as I walked closer to him. “Stop provoking Sirius! I don’t understand what is causing you two to be such _morons_ but let me be _perfectly_ clear. You are both _idiots_ , you have literally _no_ sense, and if _either_ of you tries to hex the other, I will put you _both_ at the bottom of the lake and let the Giant Squid _eat_ you. _Do I make myself clear?_ ”

Both boys muttered quietly so I glared harder, looking at Severus then Sirius. “ **Am. I. _Clear?_** ”

“Yes.” They both growled out.

“Good.” I spun and turned my glare on Jaimy. His eyes bugged out and he took a step back. “Well?”

“I didn’t do anything.” He held his hands up in defense. 

I crossed my arms and tilted my hip to the side expectantly. “Exactly. You’re Head Boy. You should’ve stopped them. Or at least, given them detention.”

Every head whipped around to stare at Jaimy who looked worriedly between me, Sirius, and Severus. I wasn’t _wrong_. It was a miracle Lily hadn’t joined us and dragged every single one of them to McGonagall for dueling in a courtyard. Awkwardly, James ran a hand through his hair. “Right, responsible now.” Turning to the crowd, he started shooing them all away. “Back to classes! Get out of here! Show’s over.”

The students trickled away, grumbling about the anti-climatic fight. I continued to stare down James when I saw Severus trying to sneak off. “Where do you think _you’re_ going?”

“Back inside. Just following what the _Head Boy_ ,” Severus sneered. “Said to do.”

“Uh uh, get your dumb dueling ass over here.” That was probably one of the stupidest things I’ve called someone but I was beyond done. They were _dueling_ in the middle of the day. Like a kicked puppy, Severus came over to stand about a foot away from me. I turned to James and waited. He, again, looked between all of us at a loss. “Detention, Jaimy. You are allowed to give them detention. _Especially_ when they’re being dumb asses.”

“I wasn’t the one who started it.” Severus grumbled next to me.

“Do you think I give a shit who _started_ it?” I spun to face him, angry at his attitude. “There were people all around you! Someone could have gotten hurt! I expect this from _children_ not 7th years who will be _graduating_ in a few months!” I stabbed my finger at every single one of them, Remus and Peter included. 

“You. All. _Know_. Better. The three of you,” I gestured at Remus, Peter, and James. “Should’ve stopped that before I ever even heard about it in the hallway! And the two of _you_ ,” I spun on Sirius and Severus who were pouting and glaring at one another. “Need to grow the _fuck_ up. You are supposed to be _role models_ for the younger students. If they see you dueling in the _middle of the fucking day_ , they’ll start doing it themselves!”

“Excellent point, Ms. Rose.” We all whipped around to see Professor McGonagall watching us with slight amusement. “Although, I would cut down on the vulgar language.”

“Uh, hey, Professor.” I said awkwardly, my anger draining away with the presence of the stern professor.

“I was going to give the lot of you detention but I believe Ms. Rose guilting all of you into acting like adults is a better punishment.” She smirked at the boys around me who looked embarrassed or ashamed. “You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Ms. Rose shouldn’t have to step into the middle of a duel to remind you that there are things called words that we use to communicate our issues. If this happens again, detention will be the least of your worries. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Professor.” Everyone said immediately, not wanting to risk McGonagall changing her mind. With a curt dismissal, she swept across the courtyard gracefully and left us alone. Severus turned and stormed away without another word.

Rubbing my temples, I faced the Marauders who watched me warily. “I’m going to go Charms. If one of you so much as _looks_ at me, I will end you.”

Without another word, I left them to follow me to class. Smartly, they gave me a two minute head start. I could tell they were behind me but they stayed far away enough that I couldn’t hear what they were murmuring about. I reached Charms and Lily turned to me with a startled face as I threw my bag down aggressively. Before she could ask, Flitwick started the lesson and the boys snuck in quietly. Remus tried to give me a small apology smile and I raised an unimpressed eyebrow. He sighed, pulling out his book to take notes.

I could feel the anger bleed out of me and was suddenly exhausted. My emotions were all over the place. Last night I was crying, today I was screaming at them for fighting. It felt like I was pingponging all over the place and I was _tired_. Maybe more coffee would help. I couldn’t afford to slack off, I’d been in the hospital wing all weekend and now was behind on my homework. Plus I still had a meeting with Dumbledore, McGonagll, and Kettleburn later. Sighing, I got to work on taking notes as Flitwick talked.

\---

“Ah, Ms. Rose. Nice of you to join us.” Dumbledore said calmly from his place by the fireplace. I joined the teachers in what was becoming my normal spot as Tux beelined for McGonagall once again. “We were discussing your new ability.”

“We were thinking that since we can hear the memory out loud, we could use that to open the Chambers.” Kettleburn explained, resting one of his prosthetic legs across the other and leaning back in the armchair. “Of course, you’ll be waiting with Minerva outside the actual Chambers while Albus and I deal with the basilisk.”

I contemplated it for a second. I still wasn’t sure how the memories worked, I don’t think they did either, but it seems like they had a better idea than I did. Nodding, I consented to their plan. “Did you want to see the whole memory though? So you know what you’re actually dealing with?”

Kettleburn and Dumbledore exchanged looks before Dumbledore answered me. “If you’re comfortable with it, Ms. Rose. You know what to expect now so I don’t think it will be as...shocking as last time.”

“Alright.” I stood up and Dumbledore joined me. His wand grazed my temple and when I looked, a gray silver wisp clung to the tip. It detached itself and unfurled into the same scene as before. Shay and I in our basement and the _Chamber of Secrets_ playing on the screen.

_“Hello, Harry.” Giggled Myrtle floating above Harry, Ron and Professor Lockhart._

McGonagall stood next to me, watching the movie as intently as my Memory self was. She whispered softly. “That boy. He looks like James when he was younger.”

“That’s because it’s his son.” I whispered back. Her breath sucked in sharply and she stared at me with surprise. Considering the fact that she’d recognized how similar Harry and James looked within minutes of watching, it seemed ridiculous to keep the information from her. “Harry. His name is Harry.”

 _“...by_ that _sink.” Myrtle pointed. Harry bent over to inspect the faucet that had a serpent detail._

_“This is it, Ron. I think this is the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets.” Harry said, backing up a few steps._

“They can’t be older than second years.” McGonagall sounded horrified at the thought of one of her younger students going into the Chamber.

“They’re not.” I confirmed, watching Lockhart falling into the Chamber.

“And the boy with Harry? Is that -” She asked curiously but I cut her off.

“Oh, I’m not spoiling that for you.” I smirked over at her. Seven Weasleys were coming her way in the next few years and I couldn’t _wait_ until she got a hold of the twins. She raised an eyebrow at my answer but let it go.

_Lockhart crumbled to the ground. Ron gave Harry an unimpressed look. “Heart of a lion, this one.”_

McGonagall gasped in disgust as Lockhart tried to obliviate a second year student. Even Kettleburn looked uncomfortable. The spell backfired and the tunnel collapsed, cutting off Harry from Ron and Lockhart.

“Weasley.” McGonagall muttered and shot me a glance. Damn it, I forgot he said his last name in this scene. “Is he going to be troublesome?”

“Not him so much but you’re going to want to keep an eye on the twins. They’re _almost_ as bad as James and Sirius.”

McGonagall sighed, already feeling the defeat of more Marauder-like students in her future.

_“Lockhart’s memory charm backfired!” Ron reported through the stones. “He hasn’t got a clue who he is!”_

_“It’s an odd sort of place, this, isn’t it?.” Lockhart looked up at Ron, dazed. “Do you live here?”_

“Lockhart.” Kettleburn grumbled, turning to McGonagall. “As in Gideon Lockhart? The third year Ravenclaw?”

Startled, I looked at him with surprise. “He’s _here?_ ”

“He’s a bit full of himself but I wouldn’t think he was capable of obliviating someone especially a young student.” Kettleburn answered worriedly.

“He hasn’t yet. At least, not that I know of. Maybe he’ll change in a few years.” I shrugged, really doubting the words. Nothing Lockhart had done was a result of Voldemort’s influence, it was all Lockhart. I didn’t have much confidence he _wouldn’t_ turn out like this in the future but who knows?

_Harry opened the second door and slowly walked into the Chamber, wand out. He carefully took the ladder down, facing the long walkway ahead of him. “Ginny. Oh, Ginny. Please don’t dead. Wake up. Wake up! Please, wake up!”_

_Sprinting down, he knelt next to the young redhead. A voice came from across the room. “She won’t wake.”_

We watched the scene play out. The professors watched as Tom explained how he had used Ginny to open the Chamber. I hadn’t told them who had opened it but like I had said, if Voldemort was stopped then this wouldn’t happen. Riddle admitted how he framed Hagrid, McGonagall shook her head.

_“You. You’re the heir of Slytherin,” Harry whispered. “You’re Voldemort.”_

The basilisk showed up a few moments later. We watched as Harry ran down the walkway then tripped. Fawkes swopped in and began to tear it’s eyes out.

Dumbledore hummed in thought. “An interesting idea.”

Tensely, we continued to watch the movie. Harry running through tunnels, climbing the statue, killing the basilisk. 

_“..You’ll be with your dear mudblood mother soon, Harry.” Riddle sneered down at the dying boy._

Hearing Lily spoken of like that made me angry, my hand clenched into a fist. How _dare_ he insult her. As if being Lily being a Muggle made her any less of a skilled witch. Harry stabbed the journal with the fang and Riddle disintegrating into flecks of light before exploding. I felt a twinge of satisfaction at the sight. I waited a few more moments as Fawkes healed Harry.

When the wound healed closed, I stepped forward and touched my Memory Self’s head. The ghostly figures of Shay and I as well as the wall with Harry and Ginny folded in on themselves and returned to a wisp which zoomed up and shot straight into my forehead. Rubbing the spot with annoyance, I faced the professors.

“It seems we have a few more things to consider, Ms. Rose.” Dumbledore concluded. He made his way back over to his seat, the rest of us joining him. “I believe the original plan will be sufficient but the addition of Fawkes seems like a necessary precaution. Ms. Rose, I understand you had an accident over the weekend but do you think you’d be up to joining us tomorrow night when we go to the Chamber? The memory you’ve conjured should work for opening the doors to enter.”

“Tomorrow? So soon?” I knew we’d be going down there but it felt as if I’d just told them about the basilisk. It was only days ago that I’d explained how the giant snake was hiding in the basement. Now we had a solid plan to go hunt it on a Tuesday night. What _was_ my life? “I guess.”

“We shall see you tomorrow then. Get some sleep, Ms. Rose.” Dumbledore said, effectively dismissing me with a twinkle in his eye. I stood and said my goodnights to the other professors, walking out with Tux. Dumbledore thought he was _so_ funny.

Sleep. _Ha._ As if I actually slept anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters one one week?! Craziness.
> 
> These things just pop into my head and then I _have_ to put them in. I know where some things are going but honestly, some of this nonsense is completely out of the blue. And I'm just sitting here squealing in excitement as I write and things started happening.
> 
> Again, thank you for the kudos, comments, and love. Everyone please stay safe and healthy. I think I'm being a little optimistic but maybe a _third_ chapter this week? We'll see...


	19. Closer

Yawning, I took my seat next to Lily in Transfiguration. She sat straight backed and was already writing the notes on the board. I propped my head up with the back of my hand next to my cheek. Last night’s nightmare had been different but just as upsetting as the others and I was exhausted. 

_“Wait!” Remus commanded._

_“I DID MY WAITING! 12 YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!” Sirius screamed. Sirius gaunt, ragged, haunted._

Rubbing my eyes, I tried to scrub away the broken sound of Sirius’ voice from that moment. Looking past Lily, I saw him leaning back in his chair with a smirk on his face. I wasn’t sure which nightmares bothered me more, the ones that had happened to me or the ones that were _going_ to happen at some point to the people around me.

Speaking of Sirius, that asshole still hadn’t apologized for acting like a…well, I was going to say lunatic but given the nightmare I’d had the night before, even using that word in my brain felt offensive. Acting like a moron. He’d started a _duel_ in broad daylight in the middle of a courtyard. Could he be any more moronic?

Next thing I knew, Lily was nudging me with a frown on her face. “Syd? Class is over.”

“Mmmm.” I ran a hand over my face then rubbed the inner corner of my eyes. “Did I sleep the whole class?”

“You did. I can let you borrow my notes later,” She said, I opened my mouth to thank her but she continued. “ _If_ you go see Madame Pomfrey about your sleeping issues.”

I groaned, shoving my things into my bag. “Lily, I’m -“

“Fine? Syd, I’m not clueless so please don’t insult me by saying you’re fine. You are most certainly _not_ fine.” We walked towards the Hall for lunch, the others trailing behind us. Lily huffed, crossing her arms. “You’ve been here almost a full month and you’ve slept through the night only 4 times. _That_ is concerning.”

I squinted at her suspiciously. “How on Earth could you know that?”

She sighed and gave me a droll look. “I pay attention. If you’ve actually slept, you only have 2 cups of coffee and if you haven’t slept then you have more.”

“I’m feeling judged for my caffeine consumption.” I muttered. We walked into the Hall and down the aisle, splitting so she was on her normal side by the Ravenclaws and I was by the Hufflepuffs. Sitting down, we began filling our plates. “I can ask next time I’m in the Hospital Wing. Would that make you happy?”

Her eyes narrowed as she took a chicken sandwich. “ _Next_ time?”

“I don’t want Poppy to get lonely.” Giving her a sarcastic smile, I bit into my own sandwich and the rest of the group joined us. Lily walked pretty fast so we’d had a few minute lead on the others.

“How many times _have_ you been there?” James asked, pulling the plate of sandwiches to him. Taking two, he pilled on potato salad next to the sandwiches. “Feels like too many.”

“Only twice.” Although I _should’ve_ been in there after the mermaid thing. And the broom thing. _And_ the fake fainting thing. Even though I hadn’t actually fainted, I’d done a well enough job faking it that Sirius had been ready to drag me to the Hospital Wing. “And considering _you_ put me in there for one of those visits, only one was my fault.”

Sirius, Remus, and Marlene joined us, Marlene and Remus deep in a conversation about Goblin politics. I noticed that Remus had dark circles forming under his eyes. He looked almost as exhausted as I felt.

Sirius quietly sat next to me, his arm accidentally brushing mine and I pointedly kept my eyes averted away from him. I don’t even know why I was still so pissed off at him. It wasn’t that big a deal but…it was frustrating that he thought I couldn’t take care of myself. Like I didn’t know what Severus was capable of. Granted, there was no way to explain _how_ I knew Severus had the ability to do the right thing even though he didn’t most of the time.

“ _You_ need to keep your head out of people’s laps.” He shot back, intent on blaming me for the incident.

I squinted at him challengingly. “What if it was Lily’s lap?”

“Don’t bring me into this.” Lily groaned across the table.

“Why would your head ever be in Lily’s lap?” He squinted back at me suspiciously.

“Because we’re secretly dating so why would I _not_ lay my head in my secret girlfriend’s lap? It’s a very comfortable lap.” Watching his face go through the thought of the love of his life dating his cousin was one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed. It will _never_ get old. Before he could respond, I ducked under the table then squeezed onto the bench between Lily and Remus. Throwing my legs onto Remus’ lap, I laid my head in Lily’s and grinned up at her. “Hey, babe.”

She raised one eyebrow at me, slightly amused. “Hey, yourself. Comfortable?”

“10 out of 10, would recommend.” I winked and could feel Remus laughing from under my legs. I tilted my head down to grin at him. “I can’t see Jaimy but can I assume that he’s having a stroke?”

Remus nodded, tired eyes filled with amusement at James’ expense. “I think you broke him.”

Lily rolled her eyes and continued to eat her lunch. I reached up and plucked half her sandwich off her plate to the delightful sound of James choking. Lily wiped her mouth daintily then motioned for me to get up. I sighed, swinging my legs off of Remus and sitting up to see James with his head on the table. “I don’t know why this is such a surprise to you, Jaimy. _Clearly_ I’m the better looking Potter.”

James’ head shot up and he looked at me incredulously. “How hard did you hit your head the other day? That is a complete and utter _lie_.”

“You sure about that?” I countered, smirking at him. “I bet if you asked the whole school, I would win.”

“You’re on.” He turned to Remus, face becoming dead serious. “House point system or owl votes?”

“House point system might be easier. Owls will get messy plus we’d have to tally them ourselves.” Remus said thoughtfully. I looked between the two of them worriedly.

“That was a joke.” I looked hard at Jaimy. “I was _joking_.”

“I wasn’t.” James seemed a little too excited about this. “Everyone can tap the side they’re voting for and it’ll add a point. We’ll have to magic it so _someone_ can’t cheat.”

“I wouldn’t _cheat_.” I said somewhat insulted. “Are you two being serious right now?”

“No, that’s me.” Sirius piped up automatically. Everyone groaned at the overused joke. “We’ll have to use a permeant sticking charm otherwise our dear Minnie will take it down before we can get everyone to vote.”

I turned to Lily and gestured at the lot of them. “You’re going to just let them do this?”

She shrugged, not too concerned with the turn this had taken. “I pick my battles. It’s not going to hurt anyone besides James’ ego.”

“Oi!” Jaimy protested loudly. “It’s going to hurt _Syd’s_ ego, not mine! I can’t believe after 7 years of being utterly devoted to you that you’d betray me like this. My own cousin.”

“No one forced you to.” Lily pointed out. She said it so casually, it kinda threw me. I know she didn’t really believe him but I don’t think I believed that she truly believed it until now. “And she _is_ prettier than you.”

“Thanks, Lily. You’re pretty too. I can see why Jaimy’s so obsessed with your hair.” I started playing with it, it was honestly the smoothest hair I’d ever touched. And it was so many _colors_. The red strands seemed like they were one color from far away but this close, I could see at least four different shades. “What brand of conditioner do you use?”

“Madame Sophie’s. It’s a special potion infused conditioner, helps keep it soft without any frizz.” She preened, letting me continue to play with her hair. “You can borrow it if you like. I wish you’d let your waves down though. Your hair is much prettier than mine.”

James tilted his head in confusion. “Your hair is wavy? It looks straight to me.”

I wrinkled my nose at both of them. “It’s not wavy if I can help it. It’s unmanageable. And there’s so _much_ of it. It would never dry if I didn’t use a drying spell on it.”

“You could cut it short.” Peter piped up. I had to physically stop myself from glaring at the suggestion.

As nicely as I could, I explained why I would _never_ do that. “I’d _actually_ look like Jaimy if I did. It might be unmanageable when it’s long but when it’s short, I look like I electrocuted myself. It never stays down.”

“Aw but we could match.” James pouted. I glared at him, my glasses moving down my nose a bit. I pushed them back up before replying.

“No. Just no.”

Lily rolled her eyes then picked up the end of my ponytail. Cocking her head in thought, she hummed. “I think I could tweak the potion a bit so it would tame it. Would you mind if I tried a few things?”

“As long as my hair doesn’t fall out, you can try anything.” I shrugged, taking a bite of sandwich then putting it back on her plate. Glancing at my wrist, I saw it was time to head to Defense. _Ugh_. “Want to do it now? We could skip -“

“No.” Lily and Remus cut me off simultaneously. 

Pouting, I crossed my arms. “No fun.”

—-

We met Emmy outside by the beech tree once again after Defense. This time though, she had two additions with her.

“Nancy Bell,” Emmy gestured to the dark haired Ravenclaw girl on her right then to the taller Ravenclaw boy with long dreadlocks on her left. “And Kole Graves, this is Syd. And Remus. Who’s actually tutoring me. And Lily Evans. And -“

“We know the others, Emmy.” Nancy said softly, grinning at the group of us. She twirled her hair around her finger nervously as Emmy blushed slightly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nancy and Kole.” I shook their hands, happy to meet Emmy’s friends. Remus and Lily politely introduced themselves as the others threw themselves on the ground with exaggerated groans. Peter had wandering back to the tower for something but everyone else was dramatically lying around.

“I thought he’d _never_ shut up.” James complained, putting his hands over his face as he laid on his back.

“He’s lucky he’s good looking or I’d have walked out.” Marlene muttered, her face in the grass. Kole, Nancy, and Emmy traded glances before looking at me.

I rolled my eyes. “Brogan.”

“We get it! We’re all dead without wands. Can we actually start _learning_ how to use them?” Sirius threw his hands up in frustration. Kole, Nancy, Lily, and I joined the sprawled out members of our group, pulling out homework as Emmy and Remus discussed what they’d be working on.

“Anyone have their potions book?” I asked frustrated, setting down my bag with a huff. I could have _sworn_ it was in there. Everyone shook their heads no and I sighed.

Lily shrugged, looking up from her Herbology book. “We all finished our potions homework last night when you were training.”

“I’ll be right back then.” I pushed myself up, wiping grass off my skirt. Tux lifted his head from his spot next to James but didn’t make an effort to get up and come with me. Spoiled dog.

—

James smacked Sirius’ shoulder with the back of his hand. Sirius whipped his head around and glared at him. With one hand, James gestured to his cousin which Sirius returned with a confused glance. James rolled his eyes then hissed at him. “Go apologize already! She’s going to stay pissed at you until you say you’re sorry about yesterday.”

Looking over his shoulder, he saw Sydney slip inside the castle. James waved him towards her direction and Sirius realized he was right. He wasn’t sure he was _actually_ sorry about yesterday but he should apologize to her for being an arse.

Quickly, he sprung up and followed her in. Snivellus had it coming though. He needed to keep his greasy claws off of Syd even if she _did_ almost blow off her face. Her face would still look beautiful if it ended up disfigured -

Merlin, he was messed up. Running a hand over his face outside the portrait hole, he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He gave the Lady the password and stepped through. Leaning against the couch, he waited in the empty common room for only a moment before Syd came down. She saw him when she was a few steps from the bottom. “Sirius? What are you doing up here?”

“I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I -“ Syd had taken the last few steps without looking and Sirius knew the second she missed the last one. He stepped forward and caught her right before she hit the floor.

Syd fell against him hard, her textbook falling with a thud. Her hands gripped his upper arms, holding on tightly. One of his arms had wrapped around her back and the other hand rested against her rib cage. His breath caught in his throat, not realizing how much he had missed the touch of her since the day before. He’d managed to keep his hands to himself, knowing she was angry at him, but at that moment, he _knew_ he needed to be this close to her as much as possible. It just felt...right.

They were both frozen, Syd leaning heavily on him and looking up with her chocolate colored eyes. The air in his lungs whooshed out as he met them, the light from one of the common room windows highlighting the starburst of caramel within the chocolate through the wire framed glasses on her face. She got her feet back under her slowly, standing up on her own but still against him, bringing her closer to him. He could feel every movement she made. Captivated as he was, she whispered, “Thanks.”

Sirius leaned down closer, closing the few inches separating them, unable to stop himself. “I, uh, apologizing.”

“Apologize?” She asked. Her breath whispered against his lips and her eyes flickered to them then back to his eyes. 

“Yesterday,” Sirius swallowed as her head tilted to the side slightly. He could feel his palms sweating, resting against her rib cage, feeling her breathe in and out. He itched to move them into her long hair but couldn’t seem to make them work.

“Right. Yesterday. Very stupid.” She muttered, as if in a daze. Syd moved closer, their noses touching -

“I thought you all went out!” A voice yelled behind him.

Sydney jumped, taking a step back out of his arms and taking away the chance to _finally_ kiss her. He closed his eyes in frustration before turning around to see Peter, obvious to the moment he’d just interrupted. Peter smiled up at him then slipped his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll walk out with you two.”

“I - I forgot -“ Syd tried to pick up the textbook but dropped it again before gripping it with both hands. Hugging the book to her chest then taking a few steps towards the stairs, she gestured behind her. “I’ll meet you both outside.”

“Syd -“ Sirius started, taking a step towards her, almost as if he _had_ to. That her being that far from him wasn’t ok. She needed to be _closer_.

“Apology accepted, Sirius.” She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Go. I’ll be out in a sec.”

—

Closing the door to the dorm, I put my back against it and slid down until my butt thumped against the floor. I just - _no_. Did I just _almost_ kiss Sirius Black?

Jesus fucking Christ.

I _had_. He had been _so close_ with those stupidly pretty eyes and that hair, that _jawline_ , his hands on me and just - _ahhhhhh no_. I thunked my head against the door in frustration. I wasn’t sure what I was more upset about: the fact that we had almost kissed and I shouldn’t be _kissing fictional characters who were technically 40 years old than me_ OR that if Peter hadn’t interrupted, I could be _kissing Sirius fucking Black right now_. 

I was _so close_. Pushing myself up, I walked over to the window between my bed and Lily’s to look outside. Between my bed and Lily's, I could see Sirius and Peter joining the group by the beech tree. Even from this far and with my new glasses, I could see he was slightly hunched over in frustration.

 _Ugh_ , I shouldn’t know that! I shouldn’t be aware of him like this. I was _here_ to help save Lily and James and eventually Sirius, Remus, and a whole long list of other people. I wasn’t here to _kiss Sirius Black_. 

But dear _God_ , did I want to. I had been set up dozens of times by Emmy, my Emmy, and _no one_ had ever made me feel like Sirius did. Just being around him made my skin buzz. Every single movement he made I couldn’t help but be aware of it. It was driving me _nuts_.

Huffing out a huge breath, I walked into the bathroom and splashed water on my face. I _had_ to get a hold of myself. Drying off, I looked in the mirror and figured I didn’t look too suspicious, like I _wasn’t_ about to jump Sirius the second I saw him.

I couldn’t.

There were children.

And my cousin. And my friends.

Also it’s _very_ inappropriate to just launch on top of him in a public place.

Wasn’t it?

Good _Lord_ , what was happening to me? Shaking my head, I placed the towel I had used on the counter and quickly walked out of the dorm. Making my way back to my friends, I kept repeating in my head: Do not think about kissing Sirius, do _not_ think about kissing Sirius, do _not_ -

“Syd, where’s your textbook?” Lily’s voice filtered into the chant I had going in my head.

Startled, I made the mistake of looking at Sirius before I ripped my eyes away. My heart pounded aggressively in my chest. It was a miracle no one heard it. Except…Remus gave me an odd look. He couldn’t - _no_. That would be crazy. Plopping down, I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. “Didn’t find it.”

“You could’ve borrowed mine.” She said, eyeing me suspiciously. Her eyes flickered over to my right where I knew Sirius was sitting.

“It’s fine. It’s not due til Thursday anyway. I’ll work on it later.” Rifling through my bag, I avoided Lily’s gaze as I pulled out Transifguration homework. 

We fell into a comfortable silence, occasionally asking for an answer or opinion. My eyes flickered towards Sirius, meeting his gray eyes which were studying me. Feeling a blush form, I averting my gaze back to my homework, trying not to blush more as I thought about what had _almost_ happened.

It didn’t work very well.

—

_Harry hissed an unintelligible word at the sink. The separate sinks and their backings began to move forward as the one Harry had spoken to moved down._

The same thing was happening in real life in the second floor girls’ bathroom. It was hours after dinner, later than our normal time to meet to avoid any Prefects wandering around. Moaning Myrtle was peaking out from her stall, watching us curiously. I tapped my Memory Self and the scene folded in on itself, zipping back into my brain. It didn’t hurt or anything but it was disconcerting to have the little wisp launching itself at my head. I backed up a step as the sinks finished moving. A cold, musty draft blew towards us and I leaned over to look into the dark opening. “So, uh, how do we get down?”

“ _Ascendio_.” Dumbledore said, pointing his wand at me. I gasped as my feet left the floor and I gently started to float down into the bowels of Hogwarts. It was as if I were Alice fall down the rabbit hole. Except there was a giant human killing snake at the bottom. A few minutes later, I gently landed on a pile of small bones. Quickly, I picked my way across them to wait in one of the tunnels off to the side.

Moments later, the three professors joined me. Kettleburn had the sword strapped to his side and I was surprised he could even hold it given that most of his limbs were wood.

“This way, I believe.” Dumbledore said, pointing to the tunnel I stood in. We walked down together, Fawkes on Dumbledore’s shoulder. Following Dumbledore’s lead, we found our way to a tunnel with a layer of sand, stalagmites...and snakeskin. Seeing the snakeskin and reading about it was _very_ different than seeing it in person. The leathery skin was _long_. We approached the snake door quietly and cautiously.

“Ms. Rose, if you would.” Kettleburn gestured towards the door. Stepping up, I took a deep breath then pulled the memory out. Shay and I unfurled once more with Harry on screen standing in front of the snake door. He hissed and as the door popped open on screen, the door in front of us began to do the same. The circular door creaked open ominously. I tapped my Memory Self again and _again_ flinched at the wisp.

“We shall see you both soon. Close the door behind us though, no need to go chasing the basilisk through the tunnels.” Dumbledore advised as he and Kettleburn stepped in. McGonagall waved her wand and the door creaked closed before shutting with a final thud.

Awkwardly, I looked around the dark and dreary tunnel. “So…any chance you brought some cards?”

McGonagall raised one unamused eyebrow at me. I let out a huff of air and found a rock to sit on. Should’ve brought a book.

—-

About a half hour later, McGonagall was still pacing in front of the door. We hadn’t heard a sound and no indication that they’d succeeded…or failed. We hadn’t talked much either, both too nervous to really discuss anything. I had picked off an entire layer of skin on my lip. I stood to stretch my legs, observing the door since there was nothing else to do. A weird sensation went through my right hand. Frowning, I looked down at my hand which suddenly had something in it. “Uh, Professor?”

“Yes, Ms. Rose?” McGonagall was still pacing, looking at the circular door.

“Remember what you all said about keeping me out of the Chamber?” Her head turned at my question, confusion morphing into resignation when she saw me. “I think the sword disagrees with you.”

The sword sparkled in the dim tunnel lighting, almost as long as my leg yet weighing almost nothing. With a sigh, McGonagall rubbed her temples then gave me a stern look. “You will stay with me at _all_ times in there, Ms. Rose. Do _not_ wander off alone.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” I agreed, pocketing my wand. We both looked at the door then to each other. Placing her wand on my temple, she pulled the memory out and we watched as Harry spoke Parseltongue and both the smoke-like door and the actual one unlocked then swung open. Tapping my head, I sucked the memory back. Gesturing ahead of me, I said. “After you, Professor.”

Shaking her head, she stepped up and into the tunnel. We walked through it then jumped down from the ladder onto the snake statue lined hallway. At the end, in a puddle of water, laid Dumbledore and Kettleburn. McGonagall began to race towards them when I shot a hand out, pulling her back.

Opening her mouth to scold me, I placed a finger to my lips and pointed to our left. Every tunnel had water at pooled at the bottom, trickling slowly out or stagnant. Except for one.

The third tunnel down had no water coming out, only water pooled at the entrance. And that water was _moving_. As if someone or some _thing_ breathed on it. I had a flashback to watching _Jurassic Park_ , when the cup of water starts shaking from the dinosaur’s movements. McGonagall shot me a surprised glance. I motioned for us to go towards the left wall, hugging it until we were closer to the tunnel.

Picking up a stray rock, I whispered to the Professor as quietly as possible. “Throw the stone in front of the tunnel. I’m going to try and stab it in the eye.”

“Without looking? No offense, Ms. Rose but I’m not sure you’ll be that lucky.” She muttered, taking the stone from me.

“Big target. Let’s hope I _am_ that lucky.” I took a deep breath, turning my body so my back faced the entrance to the tunnel. Keeping an eye on the pool of water, I nodded at McGonagall. I lifted the sword and listened as the stone clattered in front of the tunnel.

The next few moments moved in a blur, my brain barely able to take in what was happening and what I was doing. I moved on autopilot. The nose of the basilisk appeared suddenly in the pool of water. With my head still down, avoiding any possible eye contact, I lifted the sword then thrust it under my left armpit as hard possible. It felt like cutting _butter_ , I could feel it pierce something but it was an easy glide. Twisting the sword, like a door handle, I ripped it forward and fell to the ground.

The most bloodcurdling scream _vibrated_ through the tunnels. Looking into the puddle under my knees, I watched the basilisk thrash in pain. McGonagall ducked, joining me on the ground. Blood started seeping into the puddle and we heard the basilisk slither away further into the tunnel. 

Both of us breathing harshly, we looked up at each other with wide eyes. Gulping, I spoke first. “Think I was lucky enough to stab it’s brain when I did that?”

“Ms. Rose, I really don’t think you should press your luck.” She answered dryly. Fair enough. We stood and walked down the hallway cautiously to join Dumbledore and Kettleburn.

“Albus, what happened?” McGonagall whispered, inspecting a torn sleeve on him. Fakwes sat between the two of them, leaning slightly on Dumbledore. Kneeling down, I poked Kettleburn who was lying on his back. Petrified. Well, shit.

“It managed to bite me which distracted Silvanus. He saw its eyes in the water and…well.” Dumbledore patted McGonagall’s hand comfortingly. “Fawkes took care of the wound. He managed to blind the basilisk in one eye before it threw him into a wall. I believe he’s broken a wing. Then the sword - Ms. Rose, _why_ do _you_ have the sword?”

He’d turned his attention to the large blood covered sword in my right hand. I looked down at it then back up at him with a shrug. “It just appeared. That’s when we decided to come in.”

“While I appreciate your help, I don’t believe it’s -“ He cut off as the sound of slithering reached all of our ears. I turned my upper body to look down the hallway and saw the basilisk coming towards us, blood streaming out of where both of it’s eyes used to be.

“If you were going to say me coming in here wasn’t appropriate, you’re _really_ not going to like this.” Before either of them could stop me, I stood with the sword and started walking towards the tunnels across from us. “Hey! Over here! Come and get me!”

The basilisk swung it’s head in my direction. I could feel the blood drain out of my face. “Fuck.”

Turning, I sprinted into the tunnel system. Left, right, fuck can’t go down there, straight straight straight, left. I could just hear the basilisk behind me over the sound of my heavy breathing. Keeping my left hand on the tunnel walls, I kept moving. Right, right, left, straight straight -

 _Fuck_. I slipped, falling into a puddle. A whoosh overhead had me ducking further into the water. The snake had tried to strike me and I’d _barely_ missed becoming a snake snack. We’d stumbled back out into the main hall and the massive face sculpture loomed over us. Rolling to the side, keeping a hold on the sword, I knelt to the snake’s right breathing as shallowly as possible. It swayed back and forth, it’s head a foot or so above the water. It was looking for me.

Without another thought, I tensed my legs then sprung. Taking a few steps towards the statue, I hopped up two ledges. Pushing one leg off of the statue’s side, I launched on top of the snake, sliding a leg across the back of it’s head then clenching both thighs as tightly as possible. It reared it’s head in defiance but my arms were already above my head. I had both hands tightly wrapped around the sword pommel and brought my arms down as hard as I possibly could.

The sword slid smoothly through the base of the basilisk’s skull, between my knees. The snake thrashed back and forth but I held on for my life, almost sliding off. Clenching tighter to the sword handle, it moved back and forth as the basilisk moved. Finally, after what felt like a year, I could feel it go.

It was the _strangest_ thing. I just _knew_ it was gone. It’s head listed to the left, plummeting towards the ground and before I could get off, we crashed into the stone floor. Gasping, I blinked fast, trying to orient myself.

My head pounded, my shoulder felt like it was being stabbed, and I couldn’t feel my left leg. I’m pretty sure someone was yelling my name. Finally, sound started filtering in just as McGonagall appeared above me. “Sydney? Sydney! You impulsive, reckless, foolish girl! Answer me this minute!”

“Hey, Professor.” I croaked. She brushed my hair away from my face shakily. I looked behind her to see the head of the basilisk unmoving. “I’m going to have to go see Poppy again, aren’t I?”

She let out a hysterical laugh. McGonagall _laughed_. “Yes, Ms. Rose. You’ll have to go see Madame Pomfrey.”

“Fuck me.” I dropped my head back into the puddle in defeat.

\---

It wasn’t as bad as I would’ve expected for being practically crushed by a 400 pound snake. Dislocated shoulder, concussion, a few cuts, a clean break in my tibia, and a three broken fingers. Poppy had me out of the hospital wing by 4am as good as new. Dragging my feet up the girls staircase, I quietly inched the dorm room door open and let Tux in before me. With a relieved sigh, I flopped onto the bed.

The clean up had been pretty anticlimatic. McGonagall magically lifted the basilisk off of my leg and I dragged myself out then joined Kettleburn who was currently laying in the hospital wing, recovering from being petrified. I planned on sleeping during the now cancelled Care class later today.

Dumbledore had recovered from his bite and helped McGonagall safely gather the basilisk fangs. They’d scolded me the entire time, saying how dangerous it was to do what I did. I just sat there and took it. It didn’t even seem worth it to point out that I just _killed a basilisk_. I was just too tired.

“Ms. Rose, I’m going to have Poppy keep you tomorrow during classes -“ McGonagall started but I cut her off as respectfully as I could.

“No. I should be in class. The others were just commenting on how I’ve been in the hospital wing twice already, it’ll be suspicious. Professor, I need to get in and out unless I literally can’t walk.” I was trying to _not_ be suspicious while I was here. Ending up in the hospital wing, out after curfew, and then missing classes? Yeah, I think that would be a little too much.

Dumbledore and McGonagall exchanged glances but I stood my ground on this. We got out of the tunnel using the same spell to get in since Fawkes was out of commission. Once up, we managed to get to the hospital wing and I was in and out like I’d requested.

Luckily, Wednesdays were a late start. Hopefully, Lily would let me sleep in and if they found out about the cancel Care class then maybe I could sleep until _noon_. Now _that_ would be lucky.

I prayed to Merlin, God, Buddha, and every deity I could think of. _Please_ just let me sleep as long as possible. It’s all I ask for.

And maybe Sirius Black kissing me. Not too much to ask for, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I thought I could do three chapters last week. Silly me.
> 
> Thank you for all the love, kudos, and comments. I really don't think you guys understand how much it means to me that you're all enjoying this. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	20. Bad Moon Rising

Sunlight was the first thing I was aware of the next morning. Pulling the comforter over my head, I burrowed deeper and sighed contently. I hadn’t had sleep like this in…well, almost a month. Every part of me was sore, it felt like I’d gotten hit by a bus. Or a crushed by a giant snake. Rubbing the sleepies out of my eyes, I took a look at my watch in the darkness of my cocoon. 11:30 am.

Wow. It was a miracle no one had woken me up. I peeked out from the comforter to see the dorm was empty and -

Gasping, I sat up and reached for the beautiful gift on my nightstand. Coffee. 

Gratefully, I took a deep sip and sighed. That was the best coffee I’d ever had and -

Another gasp escaped as I realized the mug had already refilled itself. Never ending coffee? Either I was dreaming or I needed to build a statue of the goddess that is Lily Evans.

I was slightly worried though. This day was already going too well. That didn’t happen. Lily let me sleep in and gave me an endless amount of coffee.

 _Fuck._ James must’ve done something.

Sighing, I took my mug to the bathroom and got ready for the afternoon. If Lily was trying to load me up with coffee, it was about to be one hell of a day.

—

I stumbled into the Hall halfway through lunch, still clutching my lifeline mug. Stopping in the doorway, I looked around suspiciously. What could James have done in the 16 hours since I last saw him? Surely it wasn’t -

_Good Lord._

My jaw actually _dropped_ as I saw the contraption fixed above the entrance to the Great Hall. Similar to the House Point hourglasses out in the entrance way, there were two hourglasses filled with gems. The left one contained red stones with James’ name affixed to it and the right -

Had _my_ name on it. With _pink_ stones.

I don’t have anything against pink but I thought we had established that I liked purple. I’m pretty sure my eyes were bugging out of my head. He _actually_ did it. Currently, we were tied and as I stood there, several students walked through the doors, turned, flicked their wands and I watched as another gem fell through one of the hourglasses. One Ravenclaw boy winked suggestively at me as he passed.

I wasn’t awake enough for this.

Shaking my head, I headed down the Ravenclaw side instead of to my usual spot. My friends were having a conversation and hadn’t noticed me yet so I set my mug down then wrapped my arms around Lily, clinging to her tightly. “Marry me.”

“Good morning to you, too.” She smirked, giving me a squeeze back. “I had a feeling you’d need more than one cup today.”

“You are the most thoughtful, beautiful, kindest, -“

“Not another one.” Sirius groaned, thunking his head on the table. He lifted it back up and gestured to James. “We _finally_ got _him_ to stop talking about Lily every second of the day. Now _you’re_ doing it. What _is it_ with you Potters and your obsession with Lily?” 

“She is perfect.” I stated matter of factly. “She provides me with unlimited coffee. You’re just mad because now I have a wife on the side.”

He squinted at me. “Maybe I’ll get a husband on the side.”

“You already have one.” I pointed at my cousin stuffing his face. “Are you getting another? I vote for Remus.” I unwrapped myself from Lily, finally giving Tux a scratch. He’d been waiting patiently under the table for some attention.

The tired boy next to me raised one eyebrow. The bags under his eyes darker than they’d been yesterday. “I’m not sure if I want to join this dysfunctional relationship. I think I need a better incentive than being Padfoot’s side husband.”

“Want to be _my_ side husband? I’ll buy you all the chocolate you want.” I batted my eyelashes at him dramatically.

He laughed heartily before answering. “I’m in. That’s a pretty good deal.”

Sirius gasped across the table, looking betrayed. “After all we’ve been through, Moony.”

“Chocolate.” Remus replied, taking a bite of food. Right, food. I should probably eat something before I had to go to class. Taking a slice of Shepard’s pie, I dug in.

James cleared his throat loudly. I raised both eyebrows at him, swallowing my mouth full of food. “Yes, Jaimy dear?”

“You didn’t comment on the _incredible_ work I -“ Remus coughed pointedly and James corrected himself. “ _we_ did.”

“I was trying to ignore it.” I grumbled, taking a small bite. “How many detentions did you get?”

James pouted at me. “Three. The others only got one. Can’t believe we got caught before breakfast. It’s like Minnie has a sense for when we’re pranking.”

“It _literally_ has your name on it. How did you expect _not_ to get caught? You’re lucky it wasn’t more.” Lily said in disbelief then rolled her eyes at James’ dramatic pouting.

“I hope the detention is worth it, Jaimy. Cause at the moment, it looks like you’re losing.” I pointed towards the scoreboard. He swung his head around and made a disgruntled noise.

“We should’ve banned the Slytherins from voting. They all hate me, it’s going to swing the vote.” James muttered disappointingly.

“I _knew_ we were forgetting something.” Sirius said, frowning. 

“Too late now.” I said, grabbing my bag. “Come on, husband number 2. We need to get to Muggle Studies.”

“Number 2? Wait a minute, _I’m_ the one who asked you to marry me first. That makes me husband number 1!” Sirius protested, following me on his side of the table.

I shook my head and continued our conversation over the heads of the younger Gryffindors. “I’m ranking it based on who I like more. Remus is winning.”

“How is Moony winning?!” Sirius demanded, throwing his arms around and almost whacking a second-year in the head. The boy ducked before Sirius made contact.

I smirked, rounding the table. With a wink, I spun and walked backwards a few steps, teasing him. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yes! I bloody _would_ like to know!” He yelled, stopping at the Hall entryway. I laughed, turning my back on him and began walking to class. Behind me, I heard him storm after me and his voice echoing in the semi-crowded hall. “Oi! Answer me!”

\---

“Ms. Rose, please stay for a moment.” Professor Quirrell called out after dismissing the class.

Sirius stepped to my side, nudging my elbow. He tilted his head towards the classroom door. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

I nodded, slipping my bag over my shoulder and walked up to the professor’s desk. He straighten a few papers, waiting until the last student left. Once we were alone, he brought out a piece of parchment. “Ms. Rose, I needed to discuss the paper you wrote.”

“Ok.” I frowned, unsure of what he wanted to discuss about the paper.

“It was a very well written paper but I’m afraid I had to give you a failing grade.” He handed me the parchment and a red T stared back at me. “I never expected one of my students to blatantly lie on a homework assignment. I’m very disappointed in you.”

My stomach dropped to my toes. The Elvis paper. Where I’d write about the Graceland tour. I’d _completely_ forgotten about it. Quirrell continued as if I wasn’t having about to have a total breakdown. “And if it _is_ true then I’m afraid I need to ask if there were any…untoward activities that happened for you to have seen Graceland.”

Gapping, it took me a moment to find the words I wanted. “Untoward?”

Quirrell sighed, looking slightly awkward. “I am not sure _how_ you were raised, Ms. Rose but it’s been known that some families favor…how should I say this? They sometimes Obliviate Muggles for their own gain. From what I’ve seen from you from the past month, I wouldn’t expect that but sometimes the apple falls very far from the tree as is the case with your friend, Mr. Black.”

“They didn’t - we wouldn’t -“ I stuttered, thrown off guard. He was _accusing_ my parents of Obliviating someone so they could _tour_ a house. It was absurd. Not even considering the fact that my parents _couldn’t_ Obliviate anyone, they wouldn’t even if they could. Quickly, I thought of a reasonable explanation that would be hard to disprove. “My parents got a tour through work.”

The professor looked taken aback by this. Tilting his head slightly, he looked at me curiously. “Work?”

“My dad’s a mechanic.” Truth. “He fixes Muggle cars. A client who knows the Presley family offered a tour when he and my dad were talking. My dad had mentioned how much my mom loves Elvis, one thing lead to another and we ended up going out for my mom’s birthday.” Semi-truth. We _did_ go out there for her birthday but it was planned completely by her. Holding my breath, I waited for Professor Quirrell to respond.

“I see.” He mused, carefully taking back my homework and reread the section I’d written on the tour. Nodding, he wrote on the paper and handed it back to me. The T had been crossed out and replaced with an E. “Next time, include that. Like I said, Ms. Rose, I don’t know your upbringing and this paper was a little suspicious since Graceland is not open to the public. I’m relieved to know that my suspicions were incorrect though. I apologize for my assumption and if I offended you.”

“It’s uh, alright.” I said awkwardly. “My family…they’re not like that. Just so you know. Obliviating people. They wouldn’t.”

“Glad to hear it.” He smiled comfortingly. “I believe Mr. Black is waiting for you. I’ll see you on Monday, Ms. Rose.”

Thankful for the cue to escape, I burst into the hallway to see Sirius and a girl I didn’t know talking…quite closely. My gut twisted uncomfortably as she reached out to touch his bicep. Her eyes flickered to mine and I could see the triumph in her eyes. Red washed over my vision and the next thing I know, I’m next to them.

“I’m Sydney, I don’t don’t believe we’ve met.” I interrupt, giving the shorter girl a loaded smile. Sirius turned slightly to face me, forcing her to drop her hand from his arm. I could actually feel the smug look on my face and had no issues keeping it there. Point for me.

“Jade. Jade Barrett.” She replied primly, eyeing me up and down. I noticed her Hufflepuff uniform fit a little too snuggly on her frame as I did my own examination of her.

I turned to Sirius, giving him my undivided attention. “Ready to head back?”

“Just waiting for you, love.” He smirked, giving me a knowing glance. Damn him. He knew _exactly_ what that girl had been doing. I squinted slightly at him in annoyance. His eyes danced with mischief, mesmerizing me even with the urge to smack him upside the head.

I tilted my head towards Jade, almost forgetting her. Not on purpose either. For a moment, I almost got too distracted by Sirius that nothing else existed. Giving her a forced smile, I hooked my arm through his. “Nice to meet you, Jade.”

I pulled him away before either of them could say a word. When I had dragged him halfway down the hall, his chuckle stopped me. I spun on him, agitated. “What?”

“Getting a little green around the eyes there, love. It’s a shame since yours are so lovely when they’re a rational color.” His smirk was irritating me. I huffed, dropping his arm and stalking away from him. I heard him running to catch up with me, his arm suddenly wrapped around my shoulder and pulling me into the crook of his arm as we walked. I crossed my arms, like a child, and refused to acknowledge my captor. “It’s cute, seeing you get jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous.” I denied instantly, a blush creeping up slowly onto my cheeks. I muttered angrily, avoiding his eyes. “Rational color. Doesn’t even make sense.”

“Sure it doesn’t.” He replied smugly. Leaning in dangerously close, he winked. “I’m just messing with you, love. There’s nothing for you to be jealous of. Besides, I don’t think our ‘dysfunctional relationship’, as Moony called it, can handle any more people in it.”

“Don’t say that out loud, you’ll jinx us.” I said dryly, glad we had moved on from me being _jealous_. Ha. As if I’d be jealous of that curvy, blonde bimbo. “I love Mar and Ali but I don’t think I can juggle a husband, a side wife, a side husband, _and_ two more wives.”

“Oi, maybe I’d take Mar. Need to even out our sides.” He protested, his arm dropping to my lower back.

I smirked, raising one eyebrow. “Sorry, darling but I don’t think you’re her type.”

“Damn, you’re right. I’ll have to duel Frank for Alice. Hmm, unless he’d become my second husband. For a Hufflepuff, he’s pretty fit.” My laughter rang out through the corridor at his words, Jade completely forgotten.

—-

I was finally working on my potions homework. I’d dropped the textbook right by the door yesterday after the… _incident_ and had luckily grabbed it after dinner, flinging it far under Alice’s bed before Lily walked in. I accio’d it out from under there before coming down to study with everyone tonight.

I sat between the arm of the sofa and Sirius, my legs curled up under me. Remus had headed out for Prefect rounds so we didn’t expect him back for a while. I was beyond grateful I’d never be a Prefect, I’d loose so much time to wander the halls instead of finishing this god damned homework. Sometimes Lily, James, and Remus were out until midnight doing patrols. I could clearly stay up that late but it would eat up more time than I could afford.

“We’re heading to bed.” James announced suddenly, gathering up his snitch which he’d been playing with.

I cocked my head towards him, slightly confused. “It’s only 9 o’clock.”

“Love, do you have any idea how long it took us to put those hourglasses up? We slept maybe an hour last night.” Sirius gave an exaggerated yawn. I couldn’t find anything about that to argue against him but something just didn’t feel right.

Lily didn’t look up from her book and Marlene and Alice kept their heads down, engrossed in their own homework. Hmm, maybe it was just me then. “Sounds like me every night. Maybe you should drink more coffee.”

“I think you drink enough coffee for all of us, love. Try not to stay up too late. Night.” Sirius winked then headed up after Peter and James.

“Night.” I called back, returning to my textbook. Someone clearing their throat caught my attention though. Looking up, I found all three girls eyeing me. “What?”

“You’re blushing.” Marlene pointed out haughtily.

Slightly startled, I denied it even as I felt my face turning redder. “No, I’m not.”

“Are _sooo_.” Alice sang, springing up and taking Sirius’ vacated spot. “Did you finally kiss Sirius?”

“Ali!” I hissed, glancing worriedly towards the staircase.

“Peter interrupted them.” Lily answered for me. My jaw dropped, shocked she knew about that. I hadn’t told anyone and it happened _just_ yesterday.

“How -“

“Sirius was complaining to Remus this morning and I walked in on it. He was very…frustrated.” Lily coyly looked up at me with a smirk. She tapped her chin with one finger mockingly. “What was it he said? ‘Her eyes are like caramel and chocolate, I could stare at them forever, Moony. If only Worm didn’t have the worst timing.’ I think Remus suggested he _actually_ ask you out on a date after that. I walked in though and they clammed up pretty fast.”

Was my jaw touching the floor? I’m pretty sure it dropped that low. _Caramel and chocolate?_ And ask me on a _date?_ Oh my _God_ , I couldn’t go on a date with him! But he’d probably be perfect. He’s perfect all the time. And -

“I think we lost her.” Ali giggled next to me. My face was on _fire_ now.

Marlene smiled widely at my distress. “What shall we call them? Sydrius? Hm, too long.”

“Sirney?” Lily suggested with an evil smirk.

I glared at her. “Keep it up and I’ll tell you the ship name for you and James.”

“There is none because there is no me and James.” She shot back, raising one eyebrow in a challenge.

“For now… but _Jily_ will happen. I know it.” Her eyes went wide, surprised I had that ready to drop on her. Before she could respond, I snatched my bag and threw it over my shoulder. “Night!”

I called Tux and then sprinted up to the dorm with a wide grin. I couldn’t _wait_ until they actually started dating, it was going to be the best.

—-

Groaning, I rubbed my eyes open. Tux nudged my hand again with a whine. Squinting my eyes, I read my watch to see it was 1am. Tux whined again, clearly needing to go out. 

“Alright, I’m up, I’m up.” I whispered to him, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Snatching up a sweatshirt, I threw it on and slipped on my sneakers. We snuck down to the entrance silently, slipping out the door without seeing a soul. As I stepped onto the front lawn, I breathed out and saw my breath mist in front of me. Damn, it was getting cold.

It had been nice getting a few solid hours of sleep though. I’d gotten a note at dinner saying I could skip my meeting with the professors. Seems that I got a free pass after killing a basilisk, lucky me.

Tux sniffed around on the grass, inching closer to the forest. Rubbing my arms to warm them, I followed. Tux did his business and as he finished, a rustling in the brush caught my eye. Tilting my head, I took a step closer. What was that? A squirrel? No, no furry tail. Maybe a ra- A blur shot by me and my eyes widened in recognition. _Shit_.

Sprinting after Tux into the dark forest, I called his name sternly. I tripped over a log, falling into the leaves. “Fuck.”

Pushing myself up, I saw him a few feet ahead of me still chasing the small animal. Mother _fucker._ I pumped my legs harder, closing the distance between us. _Finally_ , I caught a hold of his collar and slid to a stop, hanging off of him.

That was when I heard the growl behind me.

Turning around _very_ slowly, I came face to face with a drooling muzzle. My eyes flickered up, meeting the glowing yellow eyes of a werewolf. We both were frozen in time, neither moving, waiting for the other to initiate the next moment. Tux growled low in his chest and Moony turned his eyes to my dog.

“ _ **WRAAAAAAAA!**_ ” Moony’s roar echoed around us just as Tux launched at him. Moony batted him off the side as if he were a toy ball. Tux flew about 10 feet away, sprawled out in the leaves and whining in pain. Moony’s head swung back towards me but I was already up and running. My breath shortened as the werewolf behind me howled into the night.

Only making it a couple of feet, I gasped in pain as my foot fell into a hole and my ankle _snapped_. Catching myself on my forearms, I turned onto my back and began crawling backwards. Moony stalked towards me and seconds later, he was above me. His muzzle sniffing up the middle of me aggressively, taking extra time at the crook of my neck.

I did everything I could to not even _breath_. My vision began to dance with dark spots so I shakily drew a breath in. Eyes glued to the werewolf on top of me, I screamed when something knocked into his side with a terrifying growl, taking Moony with it. Scrambling back, I watched with wide eyes as a giant black dog fought with Moony.

“Syd, get up!” James demanded, appearing next to me out of the blue. Forgetting for a moment that he _should_ be with Moony and that this was _normal_ for the Marauders, I looked back and forth between the fighting animals and James. “Sydney, let’s go! Padfoot has him distracted!”

“I - I broke my ankle.” I gestured down at the offending limb. “I can’t walk!”

He paled, looking over at the fight. Padfoot was thrown off by Moony at that moment, freeing the werewolf who decided to work his way back to me. Black fur tackled the werewolf again, sending him to the ground. Moony roared in his face, refusing to submit to the dog on top of him. James stood and the next second Prongs stood to my left.

It was the _wildest_ thing, watching him transform. It was so smooth and seamless, my brain didn’t actually _see_ it until he was a stag. Running into the fight, I sat frozen as Prongs managed to fling Moony a few feet back. Prongs gave a quick nod to Padfoot in my direction then turned his undivided attention on the raging werewolf.

Sirius transformed and I’m pretty sure my brain was on the breaking point. He slid next to me, assessing the situation. “I’ll carry you back -“

“But Tux!” I pleaded, my poor dog still whining in pain a few feet behind us.

“I’ll come back for him but we _have_ to go!” Sirius argued. Without waiting for a response, he swiftly picked me up to carry me back. He took only two steps then froze as Moony slid in front of us. Both of us wide eyed, Sirius retreated back. Prongs knocked into Moony’s ribs, catching him off guard for a moment. Sirius tried to turn in a different direction when Moony _picked up_ Prongs and _threw_ him.

Sirius let out a surprised gasp and we landed on the ground. I rolled off of his lap, landing next to him. Moony’s eyes laser-focused on us, stalked pointedly in our direction. Prongs slid back into view, hoofs beating the air. Moony roared in defiance, swiping at him.

“Do you trust me?” I glanced over to see Sirius’ face was panicked, staring intensely at me.

“What?” I nodded, almost dazed. “Of course.”

“This is going to hurt,” He growled. The next second he was Padfoot, looming over me. He stalked around me, my eyes still glued on Moony who was trying to claw his way to me and was just barely being held back by Prongs. A heartbeat later my shoulder was on _fire_. Needles punctured deep into the spot where my shoulder met my neck. My hand shot to the scruff of Padfoot’s neck, gripping harshly and I cried out in pain. He fucking _bit_ me.

Padfoot’s jaw unclamped from me and I slumped to the ground, clutching my shoulder, breathing heavily. The pain turned from sharp jabbing to a throb as a hand ran across my back. Sirius knelt beside me, worriedly checking my shoulder. “What the actual _fuck_ , Sirius?”

He looked from me to Moony who I’d forgotten about. I _forgot_ about the damn _werewolf_ who was trying to maul me. Turning towards Moony and Prongs, I stared in shock. Moony was now completely settled, belly against the forest floor, watching me carefully as Prongs stood over him ready for another attack. I looked back to Sirius confused. Sirius awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. “I may or may not have...claimed you.”

“You _what?!_ ” I screeched, my voice echoing in the dark forest.

“Werewolves have a hierarchy. When we first transformed, we decided to have me fight Moony to be alpha in our...pack, I guess you could call it. It was a way to make sure he’d listen to someone if he got out of control. Werewolves can’t disobey their alpha. Even though I’m a dog when I transform, Moony accepts me as part of his pack and when I won, he had to accept me as alpha.” Sirius explained, keeping his eye on the others while cleaning up my wound carefully with my shredded sweatshirt I’d just taken off to look at the bite better.

“I understand wolf pack stuff. What I’m _not_ understanding is why you just _bit_ me.” I hissed as he brushed against the open wound.

“I think Moony was going to -” Sirius sounded frustrated and I waited for him to continue. “Shite, I think he thought you were here for him.”

“For him? As in -”

“ _Yes_. Let’s not try and get into the mechanics of _that_ right now.” He growled out aggressively. “We’ve never had a girl so close to him when he’s transformed. Had no idea he’d react like that. So I thought if I claimed you as _my_ mate -”

“He’d back off.” I finished. Running a hand over my face, I let out a huge breath.

“Looks like it worked though.” Sirius muttered with a nod to the werewolf who was still watching us, eyes following our movements. “How’s your ankle?”

“Swollen.” I pulled my pant leg up gently to see my left ankle three times the size it was a half hour ago. “Broken. Definitely can’t walk on it.”

“Fuck. Moony’s the only one who can set bones correctly.” Sirius bit his lip, which was still covered in my blood, and glanced over at Prongs who stomped a hoof at the look Sirius gave him. “You’re going to have to go to Poppy.”

“Are you _insane_?” I said, giving him a slight shove for the idiotic idea. “If I show up there with a _bite wound_ , the first thing they’ll do is think I was bit by a werewolf. We can’t do that to Remus, Sirius.”

“I know, I know.” He ran a hand over his face then looked down with a frown at the blood he’d just wiped off. Taking the edge of his shirt, he wiped as much as he could off his chin. “Your cut’s already stopped bleeding. We’ll just wait for it to scab over a bit then take you up. There’s no reason Poppy needs to look at your shoulder.”

“She’s going to make a damn plaque for me soon.” I groaned, thinking about spending another night in the hospital wing. I had _just_ escaped there.

“Oi, guys. I think Moony wants to come say hi.” James interjected from a few feet away. He’d transformed back and was pointing at the werewolf who was flattened to the ground in submission. He whined softly, eyes pleading as he looked at the two of us. Wormtail ran around him, squeaking incessantly.

I raised an eyebrow at Sirius, unsure how to proceed with the calm werewolf. Instead of answering, he transformed back into Padfoot and barked at Moony. They exchanged…words? And then Moony crept over to me. Giving James a worried look, he smiled at me comfortingly. “You’ll be fine. I think. Pads won’t let him get too crazy.”

“And what was before? Only a little crazy?” I gasped as a wet nuzzle began sniffing my leg then my arm. He worked his way up to my neck, right where the bite was. My body was frozen, waiting to see what would happen. Padfoot stood at my back, growling low in his throat when Moony sniffed a little too long. “What’s going on?”

James took a few careful steps towards us. “He’s scenting you. Or, well, you and Padfoot. That way he knows who you are. When animals mate,” He turned pink at the word, realizing it had more meaning than just a relationship. “Well, when they mate not mate-mate, they start to smell like each other. We’ve smelled it on some of the animals in the forest. Like the herd of centaurs out here.”

“Uh huh,” Moony was still inspecting me and just when I thought he was done, a long pink tongue ran over the side of my face. “ _Ugh_. Really?”

Wiping off the slobber with the ruined sweatshirt, I glared at who James stood above me laughing and I could hear a snort behind me. Now that the terror of Moony was over, everyone seemed pretty relaxed. A whine from a few feet away caught my attention though. “Tux.”

I tried to stand and make my way over to him but fell on my first step. James caught me around the waist before I hit the ground. “I’ve got him. You stay here. Try not to make that ankle any worse.”

I huffed, letting him place me back on the forest floor. He walked over as I watched him intently, worried over my dog. I felt both Moony and Padfoot behind me, their presences a little too _there_ to not feel them. Moony was sitting and, I assumed, watching while Padfoot was pacing towards me then away. I could hear every crunch of leaves under his paws. James knelt down, scooping Tux up carefully, bringing him over to me.

“I think he’s broken a bone. We can take him up to Hagrid, let him take a look at it.” James said, placing Tux in front of me. I ran my hands over him, gently petting and soothing my poor dog. Tux gave me the most pitiful look, whining softly. James looked up at me reassuringly. “Hagrid’s used to us roaming around. He won’t ask too many questions. And he can fix Tux right up. Don’t worry, Syd.”

“And Poppy? I’m gonna need a better story than ‘I fell’ or ‘I tripped in the forest. _Again_.’ She’s going to strap me to a bed soon.” I muttered with annoyance.

“Kinky.” I screamed in surprise, a hand going to my throat.

“Don’t _do_ that.” I scolded, slapping Sirius with the back of my hand. “I don’t need a heart attack on top of a broken ankle and a mauled shoulder.”

“We - Worm, you can transform. I think Moony’s good now.” James said, looking down at the rat who was still scrambling about.

Peter appeared behind Sirius, eyes darting between me and the werewolf behind me. He seemed much more freaked out than any of us.

Now that everyone that _could_ transform was human again, James laid out our plan. “Worm and I will walk you and Tux up to Hagrid’s. Pads, you stay here with Moony, don’t want him following his new favorite pack member.”

Moony had wedged himself underneath my arm as James had talked, trying to get closer to me, similar to how Tux acted sometimes when he wanted attention. Sirius growled at him and Moony whined softly before backing up with a pout. A werewolf _pouting_. Jesus.

James rolled his eyes and continued. “Worm can walk you up to Poppy -“

“I can go alone.” I said quickly. James shot me an odd look, head tilted slightly. “I mean it’s not far, I should be fine.”

James kept talking, still giving me a skeptical look. “Like I was saying, Worm can walk you to Poppy. We’ll check on Tux after we get Moony settled later this morning. Just tell Poppy that you fell through one the trick steps. Worm was on his way back from the kitchens and found you. She won’t question it.”

I raised an eyebrow skeptically at my cousin. “And the bite? My sweatshirt is shredded and this tank isn’t leaving _anything_ to the imagination.”

Pulling off the red flannel he was wearing, he threw it into my lap then reached over and ripped the ponytail holder out of my hair. Pink strands fell heavily over my shoulders and I glared at him. “Button up my shirt and keep your hair down. The red should hide most of the blood if it starts to bleed again.”

Sirius nodded his agreement with this plan. “Poppy probably won’t even notice your shoulder. She’ll be more concerned about Moony. She mother hens him _every_ full moon.”

“Fine, fine, fine.” I gave in, knowing I’d just have to be super careful to keep the wound covered up around Poppy. “Let’s get up there. I’m exhausted and if I don’t get into a bed in the next hour, you’re going to be _dragging_ me up there.”

James pulled me up as Sirius transformed back. Wrapping one arm over James’ shoulders, he wrapped one arm around my waist to hold me up. Peter waved his wand and Tux floated next to us, around 3 feet off the ground. We began our trek to Hagrid’s, a werewolf and giant dog tailing us.

When we could see Hagrid’s hut through the tree line, Padfoot cut Moony off with a grunt. The two canines sat and watched us as we crossed through the trees, me leaning heavily on James and hopping along. Peter ran up to the door, rapping loudly on it, keeping Tux floating.

“Comin’, comin’. Shut it, Talon,” A gravely voice could be heard through the wooden door, a low barking with it. Hagrid’s face peered out from the door, a large drooling dog busting through next to him. “Blimey! What ‘re yer lot doin’?”

Shit. We hadn’t discussed what to tell Hagrid. Quickly, I explained and tried to stick to the truth. “Tux tried to catch a rat when I took him out. Had to chase him down but then he fell and I fell and it’s a mess. Any chance you could look at him for me, Hagrid?”

I gave him my most endearing smile. He melted _immediately_ and I felt a little bad about kinda lying to him. “O’ course. Bring ‘im in, Pete. Wha’ ‘bout you, Syd? ‘lright, there?”

James helped me hobbled closer. Peter floated Tux in with Talon following. Fang, Talon, Hagrid really had a way with naming animals. I fell onto his steps, grateful for a break. “Think I broke my ankle. Poppy’s gonna be pissed.”

“That’s what you get for running around the forest, Syd.” James scolded, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re lucky Peter and I found you.”

“Yes, you’re a life saver. I get it.” I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes. Hopefully Hagrid wouldn’t question why _they_ were wandering around in the middle of the night. “You really wouldn’t mind taking a look at Tux, Hagrid?”

Hagrid and I peered into his house, looking past Peter to see Tux on Talon’s bed, being inspected by the bigger dog. They seemed to be getting along which made a little of the anxiety I’d had go away. “Not at all. He’ll be right as rain tomorrow. Just come back down when yer walking again.”

“You’re the best, Hagrid.” I gave him a relieved smile as Peter rejoined us outside.

“Let’s get you to Poppy. Maybe she can give you something to make you more _sensible_ and keep you from thinking the forest is a good place to hang out.” James grunted as he helped me back up.

I narrowed my eyes at him, wrapping my arm back around his shoulder. “One of these days I’m gonna leave _you_ in the forest and let a hippogriff eat you. Then run off with Lily.”

He gasped dramatically at me as we hobbled off and I heard Hagrid chuckle behind us. “I’m disowning you. That way when I drop you off the Astronomy Tower, Mum can’t get mad at me because you won’t be my cousin any more.”

“Nah, she’ll still be pissed. She likes me more.” I joked, wobbling a little bit as my injured left ankle gave out. We’d just walked far enough that Hagrid wouldn’t be able to see us from his cabin. James stopped, transferring me to Peter’s care. Peter was a good half foot shorter than James and I so it was a little awkward leaning on him.

“We’ll check on Tux before we go to bed. Moony should be in the Hospital Wing about an hour after sunset. Pads and I will pop in after breakfast and bring you coffee. And keep your shoulder covered,” James instructed, pulling my hair forward over my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes with a smirk. “Yes, mom.”

James looked from Peter to me then nodded. We watched as he headed back into the forest and was joined by two four-legged figures.

“S-should we go?” Peter asked awkwardly. He seemed _very_ uncomfortable at the moment which in turn made _me_ uncomfortable.

“I guess. Gotta face Poppy sooner or later. I could always just let it fall off then ask Kettleburn for a foot prosthetic person.” I mused jokingly. Peter let out the most uncomfortable laugh I’d ever heard, I wasn’t sure if it was from nerves or he was forcibly laughing to make it seem like he found me funny. Either way, I was extremely creeped out. 

Not to mention his head was level with my boobs. I was trying _really_ hard not to be creeped out from that, I mean it wasn’t _his_ fault that he was short, but I was still pretty uncomfortable. I don’t have big boobs, I’m aware of that. Honestly, I practically don’t even _have_ boobs and if I didn’t have a bra on then I _would_ be James’ twin. But they do exist, small as they are, and I had the feeling that them being so close to his face was most of the reason that Peter was being so weird.

Thankfully we made it to the Hospital Wing quickly without any more talking. He literally _dropped_ me by a bed then scrambled out of there as Poppy emerged from her office. Asshole. Poppy swooped in, demanding to know how I’d ended up here _again_. 

I’m just going to make my own name plaque and save her the time.

—-

Remus woke up groggily the morning after the full moon, sore and exhausted. He didn’t remember the night before but knew instinctively that it had been a rough one. Inspecting the battle wounds, he saw that he had a few new scars on his chest and his head was pounding which meant he’d probably been hit in the head.

Popping out a few kinks in his neck, he stopped as he heard a soft creaking coming from behind the curtain between his bed and the one on his right. Curious, he crept out of bed and pushed the curtain aside.

A cold feeling swept through him. _Sydney._

Why would she be - He _couldn’t_ have -

“Mmmph, Rem.” Syd muttered sleepily, blinking up at him. She shifted on the bed and the collar of the flannel she was wearing revealed an angry red wound. A _bite_ wound. Horrified, Remus backed up a few steps shaking his head. His heart plummeted to the floor, making him nauseous.

“I’m sorry, oh Merlin, Syd. I am _so sorry_.” He said with anguish. Syd squinted at him with confusion, she pushed herself up a bit. “There’s _nothing_ I can say to apologize enough for biting you -”

“What?” She asked, tilting her head at him. Her eyes widen as she realized what he’d said. “Remus! No no no no no -”

He’d already backed away further, intent on turning himself into Dumbledore. He _bit_ someone. And _Syd_ of all people. James was going to _kill_. _Sirius_ was going to _destroy_ him. And rightfully so. He was a _monster_. Syd lunged up then fell to the floor, sprawling across the white tile. Remus made a movement to help her then pulled back, afraid to touch her and also afraid to leave her alone.

“Fuck! Remus! You didn’t -” She glanced warily towards Poppy’s office then whispered, her hair falling over her bitten shoulder. “Bite me. Sirius did.”

Remus stared at her as if she’d spoken Mermish. _Sirius_ bit her? What -

She pushed herself up and hobbled back onto her bed, wincing slightly. “Would you come here already? I am _fine_. I’m still debating about castrating Sirius but I am totally fine.”

Slowly, Remus inched back to her. When he went to sit on his own cot, her hand shot out and wrapped firmly around his wrist, pulling him towards her. She steered him onto the end of her bed. Pulling her feet up, she crisscrossed them and faced him. She kept hold of his hand firmly, staring at him as he looked at anything but her.

“Remus, look at me _please_.” She begged. Swallowing hard, he glanced up to her chocolate eyes. Guilt racked his body at her concern. Concern over _him_. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have been in the forest in the first place. Tux ran after something and I followed him. You had no control over your wolf, ok? Even if you _had_ bitten me, I would _never_ blame you for it.”

“How could you _say_ that?” Remus’ voice went hoarse. “I could’ve killed you. Or turned you into a monster like -”

“Don’t you _dare_ say that about yourself.” She hissed aggressively. Her long pink hair swayed over her shoulder, covering the wound further. “You are the kindest, most selfless person I know and I will be damned if I let you think anything else. You did not intentionally attack me, alright? There was no conscious effort to kill me. You had _no control_ over what the wolf was doing. Remus, I trust you with my _life_.”

He stared wide eyed at her, not truly taking in the seriousness of her confession. He could see that she meant every word though. _Believed_ that he was a good person. Shaking his head, he looked down at their hands which she still held firmly. “You shouldn’t.”

“Do I need to yell at you like I did with Sirius?” She demanded, scooting closer to him. Her free hand grasped his chin and tilted it towards her, their eyes meeting again. “Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t do, Remus John Lupin. I trust you. Completely. And if you think your furry little problem is going to scare me away then you have another thing coming.”

“You mean it, don’t you?” He whispered softly. This girl who he’d only known for a little under a month stared back at him unflinchingly.

“I do. You are not the wolf, Remus. He is a part of _you_ but you are not him.” She was so confident in her words, Remus couldn’t help the spark of hope that lit up in him. Syd had accepted his condition and still wanted to be around him. She didn’t _care_ he was a werewolf. “Now, do you want to hear about how I’m going to murder your best friend for making me his fucking _mate?_ ”

_“WhatI?!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happee birthdae Harry
> 
> Ship names though? Struggling to decide on one for Sydney and Sirius.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos, comments, and love. You are all amazing ❤️ Stay safe and healthy.


	21. Troublemaker

Sirius, James, and Peter entered an empty dorm room after Potions and looked around in confusion.

“He should’ve been back -“ A hiss from the bathroom cut off James. The boys turned as one and made their way into the tiled room to see Remus standing over Sydney.

“Stop moving.” Remus scolded her, dabbing more liquid onto a towel.

“Then stop pressing so hard on it.” She snapped back. Syd was wearing only a thin tank, one strap hanging off her right shoulder. Her head turned to look at the three of the them, all of her hair swishing against her back and eyes narrowing when she saw them. “I win, by the way.”

Completely confused, Sirius tilted his head at her. “You win?”

“Yes. Y’all are not as clever as you think you are. _Moony_ for a werewolf? _Prongs_ for a stag? I mean Wormtail is probably the only one - _ow_ , Remus!” She flinched away from him and he straightened up with a sigh.

“You’re lucky it’s not infected. This thing is disgusting. Now, if you would _stop moving_ -“ Remus growled, moving in again on her shoulder.

James crept closer to them, eyes widening as he took in her wound. The bite was oval shaped, stretching from the juncture of her neck and shoulder, going down around three inches of her shoulder blade before curving back up to the curve of her shoulder. And it was _red_. It seemed to be oozing a white pus too. Dark bruising outline every puncture on her back. James made a face and walked around to Syd’s front to see the mirror of it on her collarbone. “I hope you didn’t get that on my shirt.”

“I did. It smells like it too. Are you sure you want it back?” She grinned sweetly, flinching when Moony rubbed a bite mark.

James rolled his eyes as Sirius walked around Syd’s other side, inspecting the wound himself. “Keep it. Otherwise I’d have to burn it and I already have detention for our Hotter-Potter prank.”

“You _named_ it? Are you -“ She pointed at Sirius who had opened his mouth, ready for his moment. “No, don’t even think about it.”

Remus let out a sigh, finally finished with her wound. “I don’t think I can do anything else. Keep putting this potion on it or it _will_ get infected and then you’ll _have_ to go to Poppy. Maybe you can blame it on Tux.”

James and Sirius had gone down to Hagrid’s hut, picking up the injured dog who was now resting on Padfoot’s bed. Hagrid had done an incredible job healing him, almost like it had never happened. Tux was exhausted still though and hadn’t moved from the bed.

Syd gasped offendedly at him. “How dare you, Remus? Tux is the best dog on the planet, he would _never_ bite me. Unlike _some_ dogs I know.”

Her glare at Sirius made him take a step back. He awkwardly ruffled his hair, clearing his throat. James couldn’t help the smirk on his face. “Did I apologize yet? I thought I did -“

“You didn’t.” She glared harder at Sirius. Standing up, she stalked towards the dark haired boy aggressively. “And _now_ I’m going to have a giant _scar_ on my shoulder which I _can’t_ explain because otherwise three _morons_ would get arrested and thrown in Azkaban for becoming _illegal animangi_. Have I mentioned how stupid y’all are?”

“But you said you like scars.” Sirius muttered defensively. Syd scoffed in frustration, throwing her hands up. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking, Moony was going mad -“

“Don’t try and blame him for this. You’re a _wizard_ , you could’ve used your wand!” She said rationally. James thought about it and almost facepalmed himself. They could’ve used a _spell_ to restrain Moony. 

Sirius’ face fell at her words then he tried to save himself. “You could’ve too!”

“ _I_ didn’t have my wand. I wasn’t really _expecting_ to run into a _werewolf_ in the middle of the woods, now was I?” She countered, crossing her arms and tilting her hip.

“I - I - _fuck_.” James could see on Sirius’ face that he knew he lost the fight. She was right. They _could’ve_ used magic. And yet _none_ of them had thought of that. Sirius looked to him for help.

James held his hands out and shrugged, at a lost. “Buuut it all worked out?”

She spun and turned her glare onto him. “If this thing gets infected and my arm falls off, I swear to God I will cut each of your arms off, too! Except for you, Remus. Thank you for cleaning it, by the way.”

Moony gave Syd a small smile, cleaning up his supplies. “You’re welcome. I’d suggest leaving your hair down though, until it heals more. Most of the bite is covered up but I think you’ll be able to see that bit on your neck.”

Sydney groaned in response. “Ugh. I’m going to hunt Lily down and see if she’s worked on that hair potion.”

Syd stormed out, grabbing James’ plaid button up and throwing it on hastily before brushing by Peter and slamming the door shut behind her. The boys exchanged glances, Remus breaking the silence first with a raised eyebrow at Sirius. “Mate, huh? I didn’t realize you were ready to settle down, Pads.”

“Moony, I swear to Merlin -“ Sirius started but was cut off by James.

“ _Please_ ,” He scoffed. “As if he could. Maybe if they start having _pups_ -“

Sirius stared wide eyed at his best friend, going extremely pale. “Don’t you _dare_ say that to her. She’ll kill me and then you. I want to actually live to see 30.”

Remus smirked at him from across the room, shutting the cabinet door. “Keep fucking things up like this and I don’t think you’ll live to see your birthday next week.”

—-

Friday morning, I sighed when I woke up. I was exhausted from last night’s nightmare. Remus transforming. Not him attacking me or anything from the other night just…the awful pain he goes through every full moon. It was _horrible_ to imagine what he was going through. 

The other girls were walking around, getting ready for the day. I heard Marlene and Alice exit, leaving Lily in the bathroom. The meeting with the professors the night before had been boring while also being _super_ stressful. They’d worked on the sword who like to play hide and seek unless I was there. Dumbledore had theorized that the sword had latched onto me for some reason so they could only work on it while I was there. But that didn’t mean I was _doing_ anything. I planned to bring my homework next time cause at least then I wouldn’t be spending the entire time stressing over the _giant bite mark_ on my shoulder.

I had been hyper aware of it and had to keep focusing on making sure my hair covered but not be _obvious_ about covering it. It was _exhausting_. Then I’d come back to the common room and did some homework with the others where I stressed _more_ over the bite wound.

You would think after spending over a day stressing over it that I would be more careful…

Yeah. About that.

I sat up in bed as Lily exited the bathroom and heard glass shatter. My head shot up, worried about Lily who stared at me with horror. “Lily?! Lily, what’s wrong?”

“ _What is on your shoulder?_ ” She breathed out, the terror in her voice evident from across the room. I froze, my eyes widening as I realized I was wearing a _tank top_. Motherfucking _shit_.

“Lily, it’s not -“

She was already gone. Snatching up James’ flannel, I threw it on and raced after her with Tux on my heels. Her red hair disappeared around the corner and headed straight up to the boys’ dorm. _Fuck._

“ _ **REMUS LUPIN!**_ ” Fuckity fuck fuck _fuck._ Gasping, I threw open the boys’ dorm to see Lily being held around the waist by Sirius who was the only thing holding her back from ripping Remus apart. Said werewolf was staring wide eyed at the raging Lily who was spouting profanities even _I_ had never used. “ _ **GET OFF ME, BLACK!**_ ”

James was in the bathroom doorway, a towel around his waist, and I could see Peter actually _under_ his bed. Quickly, I slid in front of Lily. “It wasn’t Remus!”

Huffing, the fight went out of her and she stared at me confused then began talking to me like I was a child. “Sydney, you have a _werewolf_ bite on your shoulder. I don’t know what you were _doing_ out in the forest but -“

“I - uh, shit.” I spun and gave Remus a lost look. He shrugged, unsure how to handle this. I turned back and looked to James and Sirius. “I assumed she knew. She doesn’t know?”

“Why would she know?!” James asked, coming all the way into the room.

“Because she’s _Lily!_ Clearly she’s knows Remus is a werewolf!” I yelled, gesturing at the gangly boy who hadn’t moved. “And I figured it out after a month of being here! How could she _not_ know?”

“Love, you didn’t exactly ‘figure it out’. More like stumbled right into it.” Sirius pointed out unhelpfully.

“What am I missing? And _what the hell bit you?!_ ” Lily yelled, turning our attention back to the redhead.

James continued talking to me and ignored Lily which I’m pretty sure was a first. “One day, Syd! You didn’t even _try_ did you?!”

“Are you fucking _kidding_ me?! This is _not my fault_ -“

Remus cut in. “It’s mi -“

“SHUT UP, REMUS!” James and I screamed at the same time. 

I gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry. No, it’s not your fault. It’s _these_ idiots who _forgot they can do magic!_ ”

“You’re one to talk!” James yelled back, clutching the towel around his waist tighter in his anger. “You left your _wand_ in your _room!_ ”

“SO HOW COULD I DO MAGIC THEN?!” I saw spit fly out from mouth and had to take a sec to reel myself in. Breathing heavily, I pointed at my cousin in anger. “I _told_ you this would happen! Do not keep blaming this on _me!_ It’s _your_ best friend who made me his _mate!_ I didn’t -“

“ _Mate?!_ ” Lily gasped, looking between the two of us.

“So you wanted my _other_ best mate to claim you?! Merlin, Syd! It was one or the other!” James gestured between the two boys, his face as red as Lily’s hair. “You shouldn’t have been out there in the first place!”

“Then Peter should’ve been with _you_ and not sending my dog on a wild rat chase!” I pointed at the cowering boy. It had clicked the night before what I’d seen in the bushes. I hadn’t had a chance to bring it up to the boys but there was no denying it _especially_ as we watched Peter turn bright red and try to go further under his bed. 

Lily’s voice cut through the room, dangerously calm. “What. The _bloody hell_. Happened?”

James and I turned to her simultaneously, so in sync it was a little creepy. I tried to explain it to her. “Tux saw a _rat_ in the forest the other night and chased it -“

“Moony caught her scent and went after Syd -“ James said.

“They tried to stop him and couldn’t -“ I continued.

“So Padfoot bit her and made her his mate.” James finished.

Lily bit her bottom lip, looking like she was about to explode. Sirius still had a hold on her and he seemed to sense how close she was to loosing it. She let out a shaky breath with her eyes closed. When she opened them, I almost took a step back at the glare she had on James. “ _How_ exactly did Sirius make Sydney his _mate?_ Last I checked, only _animals_ and _werewolves_ have mates.”

James eyes bugged out of his head and every drop of blood drained from his face. No one moved a muscle, terrified to be the one to tell her. Her voice was deadly calm, “ _Please_ don’t tell me that you became _animangi_.”

James put up one finger, pursing his lips together for a moment. Then opened his dumb mouth. “Then we _won’t_ tell you.”

“AHHH!” Lily launched herself at James, breaking free from Sirius and tackling the towel clad boy to the floor. She straddled him and began smacking him with an open palm, alternating between hands. “Any idea -“ _Smack_. “How _stupid_ -“ _Smack_. “That was?!” _Smack_. “Illegal!” Smack. “Azkaban illegal!” Smack.

Sirius managed to grab a hold of her and pull the angry redhead off my cousin. James stood, breathing heavily and rubbing his face. “Bloody hell, woman! I wasn’t the only one who did it!”

“Uh, Jai -“ I tried but Lily cut me off.

“Oh and _you’re_ not the one who came up with the idea?!” She shot at him knowingly.

“Prongs -“ Sirius failed to get his friend’s attention.

“It was Padfoot’s idea!” James threw a hand towards the boy holding her. “I just found out how to do it!”

Lily started yelling back. “And you thought doing a _dangerous_ , illegal -“

“JAIMY!” I screamed, cutting off their argument. The two Gryffindors whipped their heads towards me. I pressed my lips together and looked at James calmly. “For the love of _God_ , please get some pants on.”

James and Lily both looked down at him. James’ chest turned a red to match his face and he looked up horrified at Lily who seemed unable to look away. A pair of pajama pants landed on James shoulder and he ripped them off to shove his legs inside them. Thank God for Remus.

“Are we done, now? Has everyone gotten their rage out?” Sirius asked the room at large. His face dropped when Lily spun around to glare at him.

“ _You_. You made my best friend your _mate?_ ” She growled as he backed up, completely frightened.

“Technically dogs don’t mate for life so -“ Lily’s wand appeared from seemingly no where and before we knew it, Sirius was the victim of an _aggressive_ Bat-Bogey Hex. 

Sirius began screeching in terror, trying to bat the bogies off his face. With a wave of his wand, Remus undid the hex with a sigh. I could see how hurt he was from our argument from the way he stood. Jesus, we were _idiots_. 

Without another thought, I walked across to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. Reluctantly, he hugged me back, his arms around my waist. I pulled back, not letting go of him but just far enough to see his face. “I’m sorry.”

He gave me a small, pained smile. The sadness in his eyes sent a pang through my heart. “You have nothing to be sorry for. This is all my -“

“If you say this was your fault one more god damned time, Remus John Lupin, I swear to God I will end you.” I threatened. His expression lightened slightly then his eyes flickered to someone behind me.

“I’m sorry, Remus.” Lily apologized softly. I stepped away, letting her give him a hug herself. They hugged tightly and I could see how much it meant to Remus to be on Lily’s good side again. “I didn’t _really_ mean anything I said when I came in. I was just worried about Syd.”

“I understand.” He said quietly, ruffling his hair. “I had the same reaction actually. I don’t remember what happens and when I saw Syd lying there with a bite…”

“So good news, I’m not a werewolf.” I said brightly, giving Remus then Lily a grin. “Bad news, I have to go burn my eyes out because at no point in time should I have _ever_ seen Jaimy’s dick and now I’m scarred for life.”

“Oi, it’s a great dick!” James yelled defensively. We all turned to him with identical worried looks. “I mean, uh, not that my cousin should know I have a great dick. Just that, you know, mine’s the same size as Padfoot’s. Although his is thicker -“

The pillow I flung landed smack in the middle of James’ face with a satisfying thump. “I’m officially disowning you.”

—-

Before leaving the boys, and Lily had a moment to absorb the fact that three people she’d known for the past seven years managed to become animangi right under her nose, I managed to get the color changing potion for my hair from Remus. As much as I loved the pink hair, I needed _something_ in my life to bring me back to myself. Every time I looked into the mirror, I saw someone who I wasn’t sure I recognized. So many things had happened the last few weeks, I was starting to accumulate a plethora of scars, and I wasn’t even _acting_ like I used to. It wasn’t that I didn’t _like_ this new me but…I felt lost. I was just rolling with the punches at this point and trying to keep my head above water.

Squeezing the excess water out, I stepped out of the shower and towards the mirror. Dark brown hair greeted me and I felt a little more…me. Lily had given me a conditioner that she worked on yesterday and it seemed to be taming my locks. Running a quick drying spell over my hair, I watched as soft waves formed. Hmm. I’d have to suck up the new hairstyle though. I preferred my hair up and _out_ of my face. Maybe…

Taking the top part of my hair, about an inch above my ears, I pulled the hair into a loose bun. I tilted my head and thought about it. It was…cute. It would keep the hair out of my face and I could keep most of it down to hide the wound on my neck. I’d still have to be mindful of it until it healed better but it was better than nothing.

 _Speaking_ of that wound, Lily, being the brilliant witch she is, made a potion to help with it. The wouldn’t go away _but_ it would heal a little faster. If it was scarred over then no one would _really_ question it. At least, I hoped so. 

Lily breezed in as I slipped on my glasses. She stopped and studied me, cocking her head slightly. “Remus was right. You really do look like James.”

“ _Please_ don’t mention my cousin right now.” I groaned in annoyance. I was still trying to get the picture of his penis out of my brain. Mostly because he said it was similar to Sirius’ which lead to dirty thoughts yet I couldn’t stop having James pop into my head and now my brain needs to be bleached. “I don’t want to relive that _ever again_.”

Lily didn’t reply and I turned to her with a suspicious squint. “Not that I _want_ to discuss my cousin and his appendages but I couldn’t help to notice that _someone_ was staring a little too long at it.”

The blush flooding Lily’s cheeks was _almost_ as bad as James’ earlier. It bled down her neck, turning her upper half the color of her hair. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Lils, you’re _allowed_ to think he’s hot.” I slipped on my uniform, fixing my hair once I pulled the sweater on. We had a few options when it came to uniforms for the day. Skirt, tie, white button-down, and then the option of a cardigan, sweater, or vest with the Gryffindor colors and patch. It was kinda nice to not have to think about what to wear. I just rolled out of bed and threw on the dark colored uniform. “It’s not a big deal.”

She huffed, leaning against the sink. “It _is_ though. He’s so full of himself -“

“Most guys are.” I pointed out, putting my things away. “Well, most of the ones I’ve met are. Remus is probably the only exception to that. In his case, I don’t think he’ll ever believe he’s great. Stupid bastard.”

She raised her eyebrows at my little rant. “Are you crushing on Remus too? I mean, I get it. Really, I do. 5th year he just came back from break and was incredibly fit.”

“Lily Evans, are you telling me you used to like _Remus_? How scandalous.” I joked, walking back to the dorm. We headed down, Tux at my side, and I couldn’t help making a little fun of her. “Poor Jaimy, how did he even manage to cope?”

“You’re ridiculous. Besides, you’ve seen those forearms. Can you blame me?” Lily gave me a knowingly look.

I sighed, thinking about _another_ person’s forearms. “I do love me a good forearm. They’re just so _muscly_ and strong.” 

She smirked at me as we walked. “ _You_ didn’t answer my question though. Sirius _and_ Remus? Will there be a duel for you? Oh! We could make them joust.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly. “Where are you getting the horses?”

She scoffed. “No horses. They’d be on brooms. It’d be a close match though. Remus might not be on the Quidditch team but he can fly just as well as Sirius.”

“I’m scared now. You’ve thought about this _before_ , haven’t you?” We passed through the Hall archway and split.

Lily continued the conversation over the younger students’ heads. “It’ll be just like one of those romance novels.”

We sat down next to the boys, Marlene, and Alice. Quickly, I answered her earlier question and gave her a meaningful look. “No, for your information. Now, drop it _and_ the jousting idea.”

“Jousting?” Sirius perked up, cutting his conversation off with Peter. He turned excitedly to me. “Who am I jousting?”

“Woah, woah,” I looked wide-eyed at him. “No one is jousting. And why on earth would you assume _you’re_ the one jousting?”

“Husband.” He pointed at himself as if it were obvious. “I have to protect my Lady’s honor.”

“No jousting.” I pointed at him with authority then turned and pointed at Lily just as pointedly. “No jousting. No one is jousting. Moving on.”

“I have some news.” James announced, his face only _slightly_ red from Lily’s whacks earlier. He gestured to his Hotter-Potter prank. I say _his_ because I am still in shock this is even a thing and refuse to be a part of it. More than I already am. “We are _tied_.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised at that. The gems were level in both hourglasses, sparkling from the sunlight coming through the windows. “Huh. Hey, wait is that -“

“ _No_.” James gasped as McGonagall stepped through the doorway and turned to inspect the prank. “We didn’t put anything against _professors_ voting.”

“Isn’t that…I don’t know, _wrong_ if they vote?” I watched McGonagall with just as much interest as Jaimy. He was pretty invested in this prank whereas I could not care any less. But McGonagall voting? That added a whole new level to this competition. “You don’t think -“

McGonagall, most likely aware that the _entire Hall_ was watching with anticipation, raised her wand towards the hourglasses. We watched with bated breath as a gem fell in one of the hourglasses.

A _pink_ gem.

“NOOOOOOO!” James wailed, dramatically falling to the floor. “I’ve been _betrayed_. Minnie, after all the detentions we’ve been through! How _could_ you?”

Professor McGonagall glided down the aisle until her booted feet were next to James. She looked down at him, holding onto the edge of her glasses and pulling them down her nose slightly. “Mr. Potter, that is precisely why I did not vote for you. Your cousin, although impulsive and reckless, hasn’t plagued me with detentions for seven years.”

With a wink at me, she smirked as she went around James and made her way to the professors’ table. Gaping in shock, I looked down at Jaimy who had a similar look. A grin spread across my face. “I’m _never_ letting you live this down.”

—-

“Where you going, Jaimy?” Syd’s voice cut through the _supposedly_ empty common room. James turned to see his now dark haired cousin staring at him _through_ his Invisibility Cloak. Godric’s balls.

“How do you _do_ that?” He tore the Cloak off, annoyed that she’d caught him. Most Friday nights, they’d stay up late but everyone was exhausted from the week. It was almost midnight and everyone had gone up an hour ago. Or so he thought.

She raised one eyebrow, a common look on her face, and replied. “There are three creaks on the stairs and you hit every single one of them. Plus you’re too tall for the Cloak. I could see parts of your shoes when you were walking.”

He squinted at her. “You’re too observant. Stop it.”

“Not my fault I got all the smart genes.” She grinned, hopping up and walking over to him. “So, where are you off to? Another prank?”

James sighed, crossing his arms. “Diagon Alley. I need one more thing for Padfoot’s birthday. He loves Muggle things but they don’t sell any in Hogmeade. I also have to get the alcohol for Moony.”

“How are you getting there? It’s in London.” She asked, head tilted curiously.

He held up a bag of Floo Powder and smirked. “Going to go through Honeyduke’s, the owner sleeps like the dead, then Floo to the Leaky Cauldron. It’s late so it’ll be too busy for Tom to notice me.”

“Us.” She corrected.

“Us?” James asked, confused for a moment before he realized what she meant. “No, no, no. Syd, I am _not_ taking you with me!”

“Either you take me or I’m waking Lily up.” She threatened, a determined look on her face. It melted away after a moment and she looked a little sheepish. “I didn’t know Sirius’ birthday was coming up. I haven’t gotten him anything. He’s been…” She seemed to struggle with the right words and James couldn’t help but feel for her. “I can’t _not_ get him something for his birthday.”

James groaned as she gave him the _most_ pitiful look. She was a menace to society. One look and she had him wrapped around her finger, ready to do anything for her. “ _Fine_. But you have to stay with me and _listen_ , ok?”

“Aye, aye, Captain.” She saluted mockingly. Just as James was about to tell her to get under the Cloak, she began loosening her tie.

“Uh, Syd? What are you doing?” He asked, slightly worried as she slipped off the Gryffindor sweater too.

“I’m kind of a billboard for Gryffindor with those on. At least with just the shirt and skirt, I’m slightly _less_ noticeable.” She gave him a _duh_ look. “Unless you think I should go up and change -“

“Get under here already.” James held the Cloak up and she slipped under. Merlin, she was a pain.

—-

I stood outside The Weeping Witch with James. We’d turned down Knockturn Alley and I was starting to question his sanity. We’d been to the Muggle speciality shop already and had gifts for Sirius. James had gotten him a couple of band T-shirts and I had found a Dolly Parton record and a Led Zeppelin record with Black Dog on it. James still had to go and meet his contact for the _extremely_ potent alcohol for Remus. Apparently werewolfness makes his tolerance for regular alcohol non-existent and it takes liquid with a little more kick for Remus to get a buzz. Only a few people sold it and Sirius and James had a connection.

A connection who insisted they meet in Knockturn Alley. At night. _Alone_.

I didn’t have a good feeling about this but then again, I’ve watched _way_ too many crime shows to _not_ feel paranoid. James claimed he’s done it plenty of times before.

“Just…buy a butterbeer. And stay _out_ of trouble. I’ll be five minutes.” He instructed, pushing me towards The Weeping Witch.

Rolling my eyes, I waved him off. “Fine, fine. I’ll just sit _alone_ in a _bar_ on a Friday night. Cause _that’s_ not going to cause trouble.”

James left and I entered the seedy ass bar by myself. With a sigh, I took a seat and ordered a butterbeer. We’d arrived late enough that all of the shops were closed up by now but the bars were just getting busy. We just barely made it in time to get Sirius his gifts. The shops stayed opened later in Diagon Alley than most Muggle places I was used to. Guess wizards ran on a different schedule. I sipped my butterbeer, trying not to worry about James. Just as I’d finished my butterbeer, rather quickly due to my nerves, the bartender slid a glass of whiskey in front of me. Confused, I said, “I didn’t order this.”

“A bloke sent it over.” The surly bartender disappeared before I could ask who the hell sent _me_ a drink. Sniffing it carefully, I smelled a faint scent of cinnamon. Firewhiskey?

“A girl like you shouldn’t be alone in such an unsavory place.” A voice purred in my ear. I arched an eyebrow as I turned to see none other than Lucius Malfoy.

“A girl like me?” I asked suspiciously.

“Beautiful.”

I smirked, taking a sip of the Firewhiskey. “Does that normally work for you?”

“You’d be surprised.” He leered, giving me an up-down glance. I guess he missed the memo about me otherwise he wouldn’t be caught _dead_ hitting on me in a seedy bar. “And what _is_ a beautiful girl such as yourself doing in a place like this?”

“Waiting for my cousin. He ran to grab something and _apparently_ it’s too _dangerous_ for little old me.” I coyly batted my lashes as if I had something in them. His eyes widen in triumph and I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. Ugh, _boys_. They’re so single minded. “And what are _you_ doing in a place like this?”

“Working.” He said haughtily, waving the bartender for a refill for both of us. His oily smile turned to me full force. “My…boss has my collages and I picking up something. And…recruiting into our…company.”

My Spidey-senses were tingling. What could they possibly be picking up? “Company? What are you? Some kind of business man? If you have to work on a Friday night, it sounds like you need a new job.”

The bartender slid two glasses in front of us. I daintily picked up the glass, eyeing Lucius over the rim. I felt _completely_ ridiculous but he seemed to think I was _actually_ interested in him. Seriously though, _what_ is my life? I’m sitting at a bar _flirting_ with Lucius Malfoy. He smirked at me. “It has it’s perks. We’re a group of likeminded individuals with an…ambitious leader. He has a vision that will change the world.”

Ok, this sounded like a cult. I mean I _know_ the Death Eaters _are_ a cult but Jesus if I wasn’t aware or if I _was_ actually as ditzy as I was pretending to be then I could see this working on someone. Lucius wasn’t unpleasant to look at and with the pompous air about him, he seemed more important than he was. I took a sip of Firewhiskey before answering. “That’s a shame. I like the world right now. So many different kinds of people.”

A look of disgust flickered across his face before smoothing out into that oily smile again. “I’d have to disagree, we believe there are too many _different_ kinds of people.”

I raised my eyebrow at his wording. Over his shoulder, I saw Jaimy slipping in through the door. Uh oh. Better cut this short before we had bigger issues. “While this has been…an intriguing conversation, I just saw my cousin and should grab him before he gets away.”

His hand slithered up and clasped my arm. Narrowing my eyes slightly, he gave me a heated look. “Don’t go just yet. I think I can arrange a meeting with my boss. And we can…talk more.”

Trying not to flinch at the wink he gave me, I slid off the stool and stepped closer to him. I’d been _waiting_ to drop this bomb. “I’ll think about it. Oh but do me a favor? Tell your sister-in-law that it’ll take more than knocking me off a broom to kill me. It was _great_ meeting you, Lucius. Maybe next time you’ll think of a pick up line that _actually_ works.”

His face dropped, the smile sliding _right_ off his smug face. I went to slip past him when his hand snatched my forearm, reeling me back towards him. He glowered down at me, the bar lights reflecting off his pale hair. “I don’t know who are, you little _bint_ but I just bought you drinks so I’m getting what I paid for.”

“First of all,” I tore my arm out of his grip aggressively. “I didn’t _ask_ for a drink. _You_ sent it over. Second of all, I’m not that easy. And third, maybe your _wife_ will be a little peeved when she finds out that you’re hitting on underaged girls in a bar. If you’re going to try and pick up women you _might_ want to take off your ring first.”

He opened his mouth to reply then something caught his eye over my shoulder. _Jaimy_. Lucius sneered down at me. “You’re a Potter. Should’ve known with the glasses and liking different _people._ Are you as pathetic as your cousin? Can’t even get a mudblood into bed -“

The satisfying crunch of bone under my knuckles had me smiling. Shit, maybe Sirius was right. I _was_ violent. Made me a bit of a hypocrite when I kept stopping his fights. Then again, _mine_ seem more justified than his. I scowled at the tall wizard who was clutching his face in pain. “ _No one_ talks about my cousin _or_ Lily that way, you piece of shit.”

“Syd, what the _hell?_ ” James gasped, coming up behind me. My attention was drawn to the group standing up from a table across the room though. I couldn’t be positive but I was _pretty sure_ one of them was Fenrir Greyback.

Blood rushed out of face so fast I thought I’d faint. There were eight Death Eaters headed our way. I grabbed Jaimy’s hand and pulled him away. “Run!”

We shoved our way to the entrance, stumbling out of the bar into the cool night. Sprinting down the alley, we made a right and came out onto a semi-crowded Diagon Alley. Trying not to attract attention, I pulled Jaimy close and linked my arm through his. He whispered harshly to me, glancing around us nervously. “Want to explain yourself? I said keep _out_ of trouble.”

“Later.” I muttered as we walked quickly but discreetly towards the Leaky Cauldron.

“Don’t look now but we’re being followed.” I glanced over my shoulder at his words, seeing four figures on our tail including one with long dark hair. “I said _don’t_ look. Merlin, do you need a hearing aid along with your glasses?”

I murmured worriedly. “There’s only four there. Where are -“

James pulled my arm abruptly, veering us across the alley and inserting us into a group of young, drunk wizards. I saw as four more shadowy figures laid in wait in the alleyway we’d been about to pass. Melting into the crowd, we managed to slip into the Leaky Cauldron a few moments later. Without a word to each other, we each took a handful of Floo Powder and stood across from each other at the two fireplaces. Just as green flames engulfed me, my eyes flickered towards the Leaky Cauldron entrance to see Bellatrix watching me predatorily from the Leaky Cauldron entrance. _She_ was going to be an issue.

—-

A hiss from the bathroom woke Remus. His senses were always more heightened the days before and after a full moon. Confused, he slipped out of bed and padded towards the mostly closed door.

“All you had to do was _sit there_ -“ Prongs scolded quietly.

Another hiss came through the crack in the door, the voice that followed distinctly feminine and familiar. “He called you pathetic -“

“So you _punched_ him? Merlin, what do they teach you over in the States?” Prongs replied, sounding exasperated.

Remus could practically hear Syd’s eye roll. “That no means no and when guys forget that, punch ‘em as hard as you can. They typically never expect it.”

A creak behind him had Remus glancing over his shoulder to find Padfoot behind him. Remus tilted his head towards the bathroom and both boys quietly opened the door to see Prongs and Sydney with the med kit open and Prongs wrapping her hand up. Both dark brown heads shot up at the sound of the door opening. Remus raised an eyebrow at them. “Who’d you punch this time, Syd?”

She grinned proudly, holding up her injured hand which caused Prongs to loose the wrapping. “Lucius Malfoy. Hey, what’s a bint?”

“A -“ Padfoot cut off his question, storming past Remus.

“He called you a _what?!_ ” Sirius demanded, staring at the two cousins intently.

“A bint. I’m going to assume it’s _not_ a good word. And to be fair, he called me that _after_ I insulted his terrible pick up lines. You know your cousin could do _so_ much better than him. I mean he doesn’t even take his ring off when he’s hitting on girls at the bar.” Syd allowed Prongs to finish wrapping her hand up with the bandage as she talked to Padfoot.

Padfoot seemed at a loss for words but Remus wasn’t. He closed the door behind him as he joined the others in the middle of the tiled room. “Why were the two of you in a _bar?_ ”

“Technically, _I_ was the only one in a bar. Jaimy left me to get something.” Syd said sweetly, throwing her cousin under the hippogriff. Remus and Sirius turned to James with identical judgmental looks.

Prongs threw his hands up in defense. “I went to pick up supplies for Thursday! _She_ was supposed to sit in the pub, order a butterbeer, and not talk to anyone! I was gone for _five minutes_.”

“And in that five minutes, I managed to get two free drinks, an invitation to meet the leader of the Murder Boy Band, insult a pompous asshole, _and_ break said pompous asshole’s nose for insulting you and Lily.” Syd smiled at James with amusement. “You should know better than to leave me unsupervised.”

Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “It’s too early for this. I’m going back to bed.”

“Night, Rem!” Syd called at his retreating back. He couldn’t help the small smile at her when he shut the door behind him. The small grew when he heard her through the door, most likely speaking to Prongs. “Don’t act like you’re not proud of me. That was a _beautiful_ punch.”

He’d thought his life had been as eventful as it could be with the Marauders as friends. Clearly, he’d been wrong.

—-

“What in the name of Salazar _happened?_ ” Narcissa Malfoy asked angrily. She’d been woken up at midnight to her husband covered in blood and a broken nose, her sister pacing like a caged animal, and seven other _colleagues_ of her husband’s prowling her estate.

“Your _sister_ failed to inform us of a little bint she tried to murder recently.” Lucius hissed at his wife, wiping the last of the blood from his face.

Bellatrix sighed, rolling her eyes at her brother-in-law. “I was just having a little fun. She insulted Rodolophus the other week, you know I don’t like it when other people mess with my things. It was an added bonus that it was our dear blood traitor cousin’s whore.”

Narcissa gave her sister an unimpressed eyebrow. Bella shrugged back then continued to pace. “She’s Sirius’?”

“Wouldn’t know that with the way she tried to seduce me.” Lucius muttered bitterly. Narcissa shot him a glare, knowing for a _fact_ that that wasn’t what happened. She knew her husband too well to believe it.

“I heard the rumors from several sources, Sirius is following her like a lap dog and she’s whoring around with anything that walks. Not sure if I would call her Sirius’ or if _he_ belongs to her.” Bellatrix informed them. Narcissa was aware of her sister’s tendency to exaggerate and took this information with a grain of salt. “Rose, that’s her name. She’s a Potter and from the States. She just stumbled into Hogwarts like a drunk off the streets.”

“And what was she doing in a pub in Diagon Alley?” Narcissa asked curiously, perched in her armchair by the fireplace. Her pregnancy had been taking a toll on her and it was a struggle to keep her back straight. Only her stubbornness held her up at the moment. “Dumbledore’s always been strict about keeping the students in.”

“Probably the same way I got in and out, Cissy.” Bellatrix responded. “Not all of us were sticks in the mud. There are tunnels all over Hogwarts, only a select few know them. What I want to know is why this little chit of a girl keeps popping up. She’s becoming a nuisance. The Dark Lord will _not_ be happy if she starts nosing around. Especially after _someone_ tried to recruit her.”

Lucius glared viciously at her. “I was doing my _job_ , Bella. It’s not like she had _Potter_ stamped on her forehead. She was a girl alone at a pub. Speaking of jobs, did you find it?”

Bellatrix huffed, clearly annoyed that the conversation had steered towards her mission. “No. That was our last name too. I was so _sure_ the Potters would have it.”

“Unless it’s not in a vault.” Cissy muttered to herself. Bella’s eyes narrowed at her and even Lucius gazed curiously at his wife. Cissy continued, “It could be at their home. If it _does_ exist, wouldn’t you keep it close at hand? An heirloom like that is priceless and you’ve already shown that Gringotts can be broken into. They may have moved it.”

Bellatrix tapped her right fingers on her upper part of her crossed arms. “We could go and kill them -“

“No, we can’t.” Lucius said immediately. “You heard the Dark Lord, we have to keep as many Pureblood families alive as possible. The Potters, as traitorous as they are, are one of the oldest bloodlines in the country. You wouldn’t disobey him, would you Bella?”

The dark haired woman’s face twisted into rage. “How dare you _question_ my loyalty to the Dark Lord?”

“Calm down, Bella.” Narcissa said soothingly. Her sister was like a match. One flick and she could burn everything down around her. “No one is questioning your loyalties.”

“Luci -“ She roared and pointed at her brother-in-law before Cissy cut her off.

“Is just trying to remind you of the ultimate goal.” Her voice calmly putting out Bella’s rage. “Now, back to this Rose girl. Did LeStrange tell you anything else that might be important?”

Bella waved her hand carelessly. “She stopped him and his friends from having some fun with a little half-blood girl. Clearly she has Potter tendencies.”

“Do we tell the Dark Lord about her?” Lucius mused, leaning against the mantle of the fireplace.

Bella stared into the fire, finally still and not pacing back and forth. A mad glint in her eye sent a shiver down Narcissa’s spine. She knew that look. Bella was planning something. “No. Not yet. But someone should keep an eye on her. If she’s so keen on our blood traitor cousin, I believe it would be…prudent to ask our _favorite_ Black cousin to look into her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnnn. More Reg? Hell yes. I think what I love about the Marauders Era is that although we have an idea about what they were all like, we really DON'T. Which gives me sooooo much room to play around with them. Regulus is one that I think will be super fun to bring into this and fuck things up. We shall see... 
> 
> Hope everyone is doing well. Thank you all for the kudos, comments, and love. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	22. Long Run

Lily sat on the edge of my bed, her movement waking me up. Groggily, I rubbed my eyes. I’d had a Bellatrix nightmare still rolling around my brain. Flashes of her face, watching me as Sirius was being tortured, flickered behind my eyelids. I opened them, banishing the cruel face away to see a pouting redhead with her arms crossed and grumbling.

“Years. He became an Animangus _years_ ago. And I had _no idea_. Bloody arrogant bastard.”

“I’m guessing you’re still upset,” I mumbled under my arm which was now over my face.

She threw her arms up dramatically. “A _stag_! Do you know what my Patronus is?! A _doe_! Which means I’d probably be a doe as an Animangus! So not only is he better at Transfiguration than me, he also _stole_ my Animangus form!”

“Lily, I _really_ think you’re overthinking this.”

“And he kept it a secret! For - what happened to your hand?” Her gaze was fixated on my right hand. Which was bandaged up. Because I _punched_ Lucius Malfoy. I almost forgot.

“I punched Jaimy last night.” Believable. Our relationship had a lot of goodnatured rough housing which I typically only did with my actual cousins. My sisters and I used to rough house all the time when we were younger. We still, on occasion, tackled one another but it’s much less than it used to be. It was kinda fun getting to smack Jaimy for no reason. Jesus, Sirius _was_ right about my violent tendencies. Bastard. “Just a few scrapes.”

Lily pulled my hand into her grasp, unwrapped it, and inspected the damage. It was scabbed over and looked fine but was still pretty sore. “What’d he do this time?”

I sighed, rolling my eyes to sell the story. “He was sneaking out to the kitchens and I caught him. He made a mate joke about Sirius and I and then -“ I gestured to my injured hand. “My hand slipped.”

She bit her bottom lip in amusement then gave me an inquiring look. “How are you feeling about that? The mate thing?”

“Freaked out. Pissed. Idiot can’t ask me out like a normal person but he can _claim_ me? I really don’t know how to feel, Lils.” I ran a hand over my face in frustration. I looked back up at her, suddenly nervous. “Is it wrong that I kind of…like it? I mean, it hurts like a _bitch_ but -“ I groaned, pressing my hands against my eyes. “I’m loosing it.”

“You like Sirius, right?” She asked quietly. I picked my head up to see her watching me carefully. I nodded, unable to really say it out loud, afraid she’d hear how _much_ I liked him in my voice. “Then I wouldn’t worry about liking it. It’s kind of…well, it’s kind of hot.”

My jaw dropped as she blushed. The thing was…she was _right_. There was something unbelievably hot about being _claimed_ by Sirius. Even if dogs don’t mate for life and we certainly hadn’t done anything to be considered mates, the bite was still really hot.

I blame every trashy werewolf novel I read over the summer. Damn library book sale.

To clarify, the sale let you fill a whole bag for five dollars. If you’ve ever seen a trashy romance novel, you know they’re small. I fit a _lot_ of books in that bag. Then spent the entire summer filling my brain with completely unrealistic scenarios involving werewolves, vampires, and fae.

Which were now not completely unrealistic.

God _damn_ it. 

I giggled at Lily’s reddening face and she grinned back. “Agreed. But I’m still pissed. He’s so frustrating. You heard about the fight the other day?”

I knew she had. I’d overheard Alice and Marlene filling her in on the duel I’d broken up but I wanted to bring it up without admitting I’d eavesdropped. She rolled her eyes and sighed, a typical reaction to the boys’ antics. “Yes. With the way you hang all over Sirius _and_ with how you punch anyone who looks at you sideways, you’d think he’d be a little more secure about someone grabbing you without you being ok with it.”

My jaw dropped a second time. I _hang_ all over Sirius? Since _when_? “ _What?_ ”

She glanced dryly at me, as if _I_ was the one saying crazy things. “He hangs all over you too. The two of you are _always_ together. Everyone already thinks you’re shagging.”

“We have all the same classes! My cousin is his best friend! We’re - no, I’m not doing this.” I threw my covers off, the maroon bedding landing in Lily’s lap. I was suddenly panicking over her observation. We _couldn’t_ be together. He was technically over 40 years older than me. I didn’t _belong_ here. I mean I had just said that he was a moron for not asking me out, _clearly_ I wanted him to, but we couldn’t. “Sirius and I are - are -“

She raised both eyebrows, waiting for me to finish. I huffed, changing the subject as I made my way to the bathroom. “I need coffee.”

Her laughter rang through the empty dorm room, echoing into the bathroom to mock me. Damn her.

—-

Regulus Black lazily looked up from his copy of the Prophet to see a jet black owl watching him intently. A little late on the delivery seeing as almost every other owl had already disappeared after the usual morning drop off. Sighing, Regulus handed the intense owl a piece of sausage as he lifted the letter. At least it was Cissy’s owl and not Bella’s. Damn thing was as mad as she was.

The owl flew off and Regulus tore open the letter unceremoniously. As his eyes scanned the page, he couldn’t help the smirk at his cousin’s sarcasm but the smirk turned into a slight frown as he continued.

_Dear Regulus,_

_Hope all is well, yada yada, your mother is herself, Bella is mad as ever, and I’m beyond ready to get this spawn out of me. To business. As you can probably read from the paper, no new developments on that endeavor. In other news though, my poor, faithful husband was attacked last night by a certain Potter relation. After discussing this, we felt it would be proactive to keep an eye on the little twit. There is no indication she will be an issue for you-know-who but considering how close she is to your ex-brother, we believe it best to keep tabs on her. Find out what you can about this Rose girl and if she’ll become a problem. Slytherin knows we don’t need any more problems._

_Sincerely, Cissy_

A little scribble on the corner of the letter brought the smirk back to his face.

_Luci-poo is still wallowing about how the Rose brat broke his nose. If she wasn’t so irritating I’d send her a treacle tart._

_-Bella_

Regulus glanced up and towards the Gryffindor table. He noticed the Rose girl had dyed her hair back to a sensible dark brown, matching her traitor cousin. Regulus watched her and his brother interact for a moment. Sirius was holding her right hand, trying to unwrap a bandage. She rolled her eyes and although she tried to give the impression that she was annoyed at his brother, it was obvious she enjoyed the attention from him.

And Sirius couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of _her_. He’d never seen his brother this way. Typically, girls were hanging off of Sirius like Christmas ornaments. It was disgusting, the way those girls acted and the way his brother treated them. This one though. This one was _different_. She’d managed to capture his brother’s wandering eye and keep it on her. It was impressive.

He hadn’t met the Rose girl, being in different Houses and different years, but he’d heard things about her. LeStrange also couldn’t seem to _stop_ talking about her and how he’d get her back. When he’d seen her in Hogsmeade though, there’d been a moment where their eyes had met. The look on her face was…recognition. Like she _knew_ him. Not just as Sirius’ brother but _him_. Regulus couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to her than just Sirius’ obsession.

At that moment, Rose’s head turned and caught his eye from across the room. Her head tilted slightly, seeing him watching her. He raised an eyebrow challengingly. Hers mirrored the motion before the McKinnon girl turned her attention to the other side of her table.

“Snape.” The dark haired boy looked up at him with an annoyed gaze. “You’re Rose’s partner in Potions, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Snape replied with a drawl.

“Tell me about her.”

—-

“What are you two whispering about down there?” Marlene asked loudly, focusing everyone’s attention on Sirius and I. I spun around, a little thrown off by the look I just received from Regulus. He’d been watching us and I couldn’t help but feel a little worried.

“Noth -“

“Probably figuring out names for their _pups_.” James snickered quietly. I gave him a wide-eyed look. Luckily, Marlene couldn’t hear him from her spot.

“Prongs, I have no problem murdering you.” Sirius growled behind me. A pleasant shiver went through me at the protective tone of his voice.

Taking a breath, I turned back to Marlene with a grin. “Nothing. He was just looking at my knuckles. I punched Jaimy last night for being stupid.”

Before Marlene or James could reply, a tawny barn owl landed in front of James. Frowning, he took the letter and offered the owl a piece of bacon. The owl flew off immediately, leaving us to turn to James who was reading the letter intensely. The normal rush of owls had come and gone, so him receiving an owl this late was a little odd.

James was a little too quiet though. “Jaimy, what it is?”

“Evans, can I see your Prophet?” James asked, a bit abruptly. Lily, clearly thrown off by his tone, handing over the paper without question. I picked up the letter he’d put down and began to read.

_Jaimy dear,_

_We figured we’d send you and Sydney a letter before you read it in the Prophet but things went on longer than we had planned. Someone broke into our vault at Gringotts last night and we’ve been at the Ministry since dawn. As far as we can tell, nothing was taken but the Ministry is questioning us extensively over what exactly we keep in the vaults._

_It’s nothing to worry yourselves over and there’s nothing the two of you can do but we wanted to keep you updated and not see the story plastered all over the Prophet first. The biggest concern over all this is that while we didn’t loose anything, a poor guard lost his life when the criminals broke in._

_Keep up with your school work, dear. Your father and I are planning on coming to your next Quidditch match. We can’t wait to see you and Sirius secure another win for Gryffindor. Give Sydney and Sirius our love, we’ll see you soon._

_Love, Mum_

“She didn’t mention that there was a Dark Mark floating over the dead man’s body.” James snapped, throwing the Prophet down. Handing the letter to Sirius, I turned my full focus onto Jaimy.

“Let’s go for a walk.” I suggested, wanting to talk to him away from the others. Grasping his hand, I pulled him up and called Tux to follow us. The rest of the group stayed, thankfully, and Jaimy and I slipped out onto the front lawn. “You couldn’t have done anything.”

“We were _right there_ , Syd.” He replied, frustrated over what had happened. “That man is _dead_ and we could’ve -“

I looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Could’ve what? If I remember correctly, we were running away from _eight_ Death Eaters including Bellatrix and Lucius. James, there was _nothing_ we could’ve done. We’re lucky it wasn’t _us_ on the front page of the Prophet.”

“And who’s fault is it that we had eight Death Eaters chasing us?” He shot back with a pointed look.

I glared at him, crossing my arms. “I’m _not_ apologizing for punching him. Besides, I didn’t drag you out here to talk about that. I want to know what Aunt Effie and Uncle Monty are hiding in the vault that _Death Eaters_ broke in.”

“Nothing! You read the letter. Mum and Dad have literally _nothing_ interesting in that vault except loads of money.” He said this as a fact, as if it was normal to have loads of money just lying around. I guess for him it was. And for me. I still hadn’t wrapped my head around the amount of money in my own vault. “Honestly, the most interesting thing we have is the library and Mum’s the only one who’s read the books. Some of them have some Dark Arts stuff but seriously, Syd, there’s nothing worth killing someone for.”

But there was.

A piece of the puzzle clicked in my head. “Jaimy. Who else knows about the Cloak?”

He gave me a confused looked then turned thoughtful. “You think they were after the Cloak? It’s just an old cloak. You can buy similar ones in Diagon Alley.”

Shit. They _had_ to be. This was why the break-ins kept catching my attention. All of the break-ins happened to Purebloods. The Three Brothers were the Peverells. Since Voldemort was a descendant of Cadmus and had probably already created the Horcrux with the ring, he most likely knew the story _and_ an idea of where the other Deathly Hallows were hiding. He already had the ring, Dumbledore had the wand, but the Cloak was the only missing piece. And if they were after the Cloak, James _had_ to be more careful with it.

But should I tell him?

Biting my lip, I made my decision. He needed to know how important this was. “No, you can’t. Jaimy, what do you know about the Three Brothers?”

“It’s a fairy tale. Everyone knows it. What’s that got to do with this?” He asked, giving me a look like I’d lost my mind.

I glanced around, making sure we were alone. A few students had spilled out onto the lawn and were finding spots to spend their Saturday. Slipping my arm through his, I pulled him along and began walking around the lake as casually as possible. “What did the Three Brothers get from Death?”

He rolled his eyes, as if this were a tedious quiz he knew the answers to. “The Elder Wand, the Stone, and the -“

James stopped walking and I took a few steps before turning to watch his face as the pieces clicked in his head. I finished for him. “The Cloak of Invisibility.”

“Syd, that is a _story_. It’s an old _fairy_ tale. It’s not - It’s not _real_.”

“Whether it’s real or not, _someone_ thinks it is and they’re trying to collect them.” I explained, looking at him seriously. “The Brothers were _real_ , James. That Cloak is _real_. I don’t know if you can conquer death with all the Hallows but I think the Death Eaters are looking for them. You _have_ to be careful with it. If someone else got a hold of it -“

“It’s just a _cloak_.” James insisted, combing a hand through his hair. “Mum and Dad would have _said something_. They wouldn’t have given me the Cloak if it was that important!”

“They might not know.” I pointed out. Poor James looked like he was about to faint. “You said it yourself, it’s an old cloak. It’s an heirloom. But have you _ever_ seen another cloak like it? The ones in Diagon Alley, do they keep their invisibility for _years?_ ”

He sat down on the ground. We’d reached the beech tree and I joined him as he stared at a patch of grass with a stunned look. His head turned to look at me after a few minutes. “Syd, what do I do?”

“Act like nothing happened. And don’t tell the others.” I said instantly. He opened his mouth, a worried look on his face. I held my hand up to stop him. “It’s not that I don’t trust them but…they killed someone for this, Jaimy. Someone who didn’t know anything about it. Think about what they’ll do to someone who _does_.”

With a groan, he flung himself backwards onto the grass and put his hands over his face. “I’ve gone mad. That’s the only explanation. I’m in St. Mungo’s and I’m a complete nutter. That or I’ve got a bloody _fairy tale cloak_ stuffed into my trunk like an old sweater.”

“Stop being so dramatic. This doesn’t change anything except make you more aware of what you have.” I rolled my eyes. “Just be more careful.”

James sat up, staring at me as if he’d had the smartest idea. “We should tell Dumbledore -“

“No!” I snapped. He gave me a concerned look. “It’s just -“

“You don’t trust Dumbledore.” He said knowingly. Damn him. Only a month here and he knew me too well.

“I trust Dumbledore…with _some_ things.” I hedged carefully. Jaimy watched me intently as I tried to explain my feelings toward the Headmaster. I began to worry the hangnail on my pointer finger with my thumb. Jaimy’s eyes flickered to my hands, seeing my anxiety. “I think his priorities can be a bit…skewed sometimes. And people get hurt because of it.”

James wait a moment then raised an eyebrow at me when I didn’t continue. “Like?”

I pressed my lips together, not sure how to explain this. One of the things that _always_ bothered me about the night Lily and James died was that they didn’t have the Cloak. _Dumbledore_ borrowed it. His obsession with the Hallows was greater than the need to protect the Potters. With the Potters in hiding, a Secret Keeper needed even, Dumbledore was more than aware of how much danger they had been in. And still…he borrowed the one thing that could have possibly saved them.

“I think the less people who know about the Cloak, the better.” I said, avoiding his question. “It’s a _Potter_ heirloom. It’s meant to be with you, not hidden away by Dumbledore.”

“You think he’d do that? Take the Cloak away?” He questioned quietly, tilting his head slightly at me.

“I do.” I nodded, firm in my answer. I bit my lip, looking at the grass by my hands then back to Jaimy. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life.” He responded instantaneously. My heart lurched at his words. He truly _trusted_ me and although I was sort of lying to him, I knew in my heart that it was for a good reason. For his _life_. 

“Then don’t tell Dumbledore about the Cloak.” I stared into his brown eyes with as much seriousness as I could. “It’s _yours_ , it could save your life one day.”

“Now you’re sounding ominous.” He smirked. “Do you know something I don’t?”

I smirked back, trying to divert his curiosity with a joke. “I know a lot of things you don’t. Like that a certain redhead was staring a _little_ too long at you without a towel.”

James’ eyes bugged out, laser focused on me. “Did she say something?”

I laughed, pushing myself up before sprinting back towards the castle. Tux barked and chased after me, James on his heels. “SYDNEY ROSE! GET BACK HERE!”

Laughing loudly, I raced up the steps into the entrance hall. I looked over my shoulder to see how far I was from Jaimy. Good, I had a few -

“Oooph.” An arm wrapped around my waist, catching me before I fell to the ground. Shaking my head, I held onto broad familiar shoulders and steadied myself. “Thank -“

“You should watch where you’re going, Rose.” A deep voice said, cutting off my thank you. My eyes widened slightly as I saw that it wasn’t Sirius who had caught me.

It was Regulus.

“Never know who you’re going to bump into.” He said quietly, his face only a few inches away. My breath caught in my throat as icy gray eyes held mine.

Swallowing hard, I stepped back and out of his grasp. His arm dropped as he felt me pull away and a flicker of… _something_ went through his eyes. His gaze stayed on mine for just a moment before causally running up and down my body. A flush crept onto my cheeks. Was he - “Catch you later, Rose.”

With a wink, he sauntered off down the hall. My eyes stayed glued to his retreating back in shock. Did - _no._ I mean that was smooth as fuck but _no_.

“Sydney.” Startled, I spun around to see James eyeing me suspiciously, slightly out of breath. “What was that?”

“What was what?” I asked innocently. No, seriously innocently. I had no idea what that was.

He pressed his lips to together, closing his eyes, and took a big breath in through his nose before replying. “Why was _Regulus_ just looking at you like that?”

“I have no idea.” He didn’t see Regulus with his arms around me then. Thank _God_. I couldn’t even imagine the fallout from that. James gave me a dry look and I threw my hands up, at a loss. “I _don’t_. I’ve never actually met him!”

“For the love of Merlin, do _everyone_ a favor and do _not_ meet him. Don’t look at him, don’t talk to him, and if you value your life, don’t _snog_ him.” James begged me.

My jaw actually dropped at the suggestion. I smacked his shoulder with the back of my hand. “Are you threatening to kill me if I _snog_ Regulus?”

“No. _Sirius_ will kill you. And then _I’m_ going to have to hide your body _and_ his body. That is accessory to murder and I am too pretty for Azkaban.” He clarified for me. James pointed at my face. “No snogging.”

“Have you _actually_ caught me _snogging_ anyone yet?” I was slightly insulted. Why did I come off as a - a- a floozie? What the _fuck_ was I doing that caused James, and pretty much everyone I met, to think I’d sleep with _anyone_? God Lord, I had _some_ standards. They just happened to be tattooed, dark haired, dog collar wearing standards. “I’m tempted to do it just to mess with you.”

We made our way back towards the group and he squinted at me like I really would. “I know how guys look at girls when they want to bed them. _That_ little look Regulus gave you was the epitome of the ‘I want to bed her’ look.”

I smacked Jaimy hard on the back of the head. He flinched back from me with a wounded gasp, rubbing his head. I threw my finger in his face then hissed at him, aware of the many ears around us. “For someone who just joked about me having Sirius’ _pups_ , you have a lot of nerve accusing me of wanting to sleep with his _brother_.”

“It would be nice to know who the father is and not have to play ‘which Black is the daddy’. I mean that family tree is messed up enough as is, let’s not add in siblings who are also cousins.” James strolled by me with a carelessly shrug. I watched him with a horrified look as he took his seat as though I wasn’t planning how to hide his body. He turned and yelled mockingly at my catatonic self. “I’m voting for Padfoot!”

The Forest. Aragog could eat him.

—-

I sat with Lily and Marlene in the common room when something dropped into my lap and I snapped out of my daze, looking down confused. A book was sitting next there, a beautiful copy of -

I gasped loudly, whipping my head up to stare at Remus who was walking around the arm of couch to join us. The other Marauders were spreading themselves out. He smiled, enjoying my amazement. “I have two copies and Lily said you didn’t bring any books with you. I meant to give it you the other day but -“

“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.” I launched over the coffee table, _literally_ , landing in his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck. He immediately tensed up at the touch. “You are the BEST.”

“You’re very welcome, Buttercup.” He joked hesitantly, as if he wasn’t sure of the level of our friendship yet. Poor, poor Remus, he had no idea what he was in for with me.

“Sydney, get off Moony. It’s bad enough you and Sirius can’t keep your hands to yourselves, don’t start with _another_ one of my mates.” James complained from one of the armchairs. I turned, still clinging to my favorite werewolf and glared.

“He’s mine, too.” I stuck my tongue out at my cousin, like a five year old. No, I am not proud of myself but I think I made my point. At least, I _thought_ I did until James opened his mouth.

“You can’t have _two of them_. I had them first.” James glared back then pointed at Sirius next to him. “I let you have Padfoot but taking Moony is too far.”

“Oi! No one _let_ anyone have me!” Sirius protested.

“Try and take him back, Jaimy and I will shove your broom so far up your ass, you’ll be a shish-kabob.” I growled and stared him down, both of us ignoring Sirius.

James studied me for a moment then ducked under the coffee table. Confused, I looked at Sirius then Remus who both looked equally lost until I felt a hand on my ankle.

“AH!” The hand yanked hard, dragging me under where James proceeded to tackle me. I kneed him the ribs, pushing him up. His back hit the bottom of the table, causing the items above to rattle. “You need to learn to share!”

“They’re mine!” He growled, yanking a fistful of my hair.

“I’m telling Aunt Effie!” I screamed, pulling his hair back. We struggled against each other then I managed to roll us out from under the table. Peter rolled out of the way just in time. Landing on top, I got my feet under me then tried to run. James wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back down. “Not allowed - _oomph_ \- to keep them to - _OW_ \- yourself!”

“Not yours!” James screeched, putting me in a headlock. He laid on the ground, his arm wrapped around my neck. I placed a closed fist on his jaw, reinforcing with my hand, and pushed my back upwards while straightening my arms. His arms lost their grip and I grabbed the closest object to me.

A textbook.

“Bloody -“ _Whack_. “Hell!” _Whack_.

Silly Jaimy. He should know better by now.

—-

The day had passed quickly. Sirius had nodded off on the couch as the others finished their homework, talked, or played chess. Vaguely, in his exhaustion, he heard the other Marauders slip out for snacks then about twenty minutes later he heard the girls head up to bed.

Except for one.

Pulling himself out of his haze, he took a few minutes to watch the dark haired girl next to him. The firelight danced on her face as she read and he couldn’t help but be absorbed in observing her. A small smile graced her lips at something she read and he felt his own mirroring hers. He was dying to know what she was thinking, what she thought was amusing in the book.

He also knew he might not get a chance alone with her like this again. At least for a while.

“Love?”

“Hmm?” She tore her eyes away from the book she was devouring to look at him. “Yes?”

Her eyes met his and something clicked. Although he told Moony that her eyes reminded him of chocolate and caramel, he realized something else being this close to her. The chocolate color was the exact match to her Acacia wand and the caramel color was the exact match to _his_ Cypress wand. The melding of them created mesmerizing irises, as if the two colors were battling for dominance like a duel. Her eyebrow quirked up, the muscle in her cheekbone ticking up with it. “Sirius?”

Swallowing, he tried to clear his head but that gaze held his steadily. Hogmeade. He was going to ask if she wanted to go to Hogmeade. With _him_. On a date. Prongs and Moony had been nagging at him, saying he needed to make a move or someone else would. Pfft, as if _anyone_ would try it. Sirius hadn’t be exactly subtle in his intentions. It was unlike him though to take this long in asking out someone. But Syd wasn’t just anyone. She -

She was still waiting for him to speak. Shite.

Clearing his throat, he ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I wanted to ask…if maybe you’d -“

 _BAM_. The portrait door slammed open, unbelievably loud in the quiet common room. Syd’s head swung around with Sirius’ to find the other Marauders staggering in with their loot. Peter was the first to reach them, shoving a mug into Syd’s surprised hands. She looked at the mug then back at Worm’s expectant face. “Thanks. I think. Coffee?”

“Yes.” He said as she took a sip. A slight grimace crossed her face, barely there unless you were watching her which Worm was not at the moment. He had turned to put the rest of his bounty on the coffee table and continued talking. “I put some cinnamon and milk in there, just like my mum makes it. Good, right?”

Her lips pressed together and Sirius bit his lip, stopping himself from correcting Pete on Syd’s coffee preference. The girl liked it as black as…well, he’d say as _her_ soul but he knew that wasn’t right. She’d shown time and again that she had a heart of gold. Which she proved a moment later. “It’s great. Thanks, Peter.”

The small boy beamed, proud of his accomplishment. Prongs and Moony joined, adding their own treats to the collection. Syd raised her left eyebrow at the amount of food. “Planning on hibernating for winter?”

“We’re growing boys, Syd. We are constantly in need of sustenance.” Prongs replied, flexing his muscles like a Muggle body builder. 

“You’re in need of _something_ alright.” She muttered, reaching over Prongs who sat on the floor in front of her. She snatched a house elf-made Cauldron Cake which she inspected curiously as if she’d never seen one before. Sirius caught Moony watching her look at the cake, clearly having the same thought he was. What witch had _never_ had a Cauldron Cake before? Syd cautiously bit into it.

Sirius couldn’t help the smile on his face as he watched her reaction. Pure unadulterated joy. She made a small noise of delight then looked over towards him. Those acacia and cypress eyes widen at being caught and a light blush spread over her cheeks. Swallowing, she averted her gaze quickly then tapped Prongs. “Was there anything left after the three of you raided the kitchens?”

He grinned up at her, popping a piece of toffee into his mouth. “It’s a _magical_ kitchen, Syd. Even _we_ couldn’t eat all the food in there.”

“You say that but I’ve _seen_ you eat. If anyone could do it, you four could.” Sydney leaned over again and this time took a chocolate from Moony’s stash. And he _let _her. Moony didn’t even let _him_ have any of his chocolate. __

__Popping it into her mouth, she gave him a grin with only her lips, seeing as her mouth was full. Moony gave her a fond look and Sirius wasn’t sure what to make of it. Sirius had gone on and on to Moony about Syd but…did Moony harbor any feelings for _her_? It hadn’t occurred to him that his best mate might also feel something for the dark haired girl._ _

__His wolf _had_ tried to mate her the other night. As Padfoot, Sirius could smell Moony’s intentions which had terrified him to his core. It had also sent a possessive feeling through him. Something he’d never experienced before. But did Moony’s human side have the same attraction to her?_ _

__“Did we loose you?” A low voice asked close by. He found Syd had moved closer to him on the couch, practically touching him. She watched him curiously, waiting for an answer. Again, the breath left his lungs as he caught her gaze. A slight smirk quirked her lips up to the right. His eyes flickered down, resting on them for a moment. The bottom lip was slightly fuller than the top, perfect for - “Sirius?”_ _

__“Yes, love?” He answered quickly, forcing his focus back on her eyes._ _

__“I know we did a lot of homework earlier but I didn’t think it was _that_ much.” The amusement at his distraction was clear in her voice. He didn’t think she knew _why_ he was so distracted but none the less, she seemed to find it funny. Sirius could see why though, typically _she_ was the one off in a daze._ _

__He went for a joke, hoping to divert her. “Well _someone_ woke our dorm up in the middle of the night -“_ _

__“Don’t even try to pretend that if you had to the chance to punch Malfoy in the face, you wouldn’t take it.” She folded her arms and gave him a challengingly look._ _

__“Never said that, love. I’m just saying, being woken up early like that makes me tired.” He smirked at her, enjoying the way her eyes narrowed at him slightly before turning sly._ _

__“Want some coffee?” Syd held the mug of coffee Peter had made out to him. He’d noticed she’d taken only a sip and made a mental note to ask her later about that. Taking it gently, careful not to spill it, he took a sip. It wasn’t _horrible_. Not his cup of tea, so to speak, but he took a few large gulps. As she took it back, noticing Peter watching them, she gave him a grateful look and pretended to take a sip._ _

__“Sooooooo. Did Lily say anything about me while I was gone?” Prongs looked up at Syd hopefully._ _

__She rolled her eyes, not truly annoyed but clearly over the topic. “No, Jaimy. And she’s not _going_ to if you open your mouth and say something dumb.”_ _

__“Oi! I don’t say anything dumb!” He argued. Then his faced turned thoughtful. “Well, I don’t _mean_ to say anything dumb. I just get…distracted and then I loose my filter.”_ _

__“And any sense you had.” Moony joked, biting off a piece from his chocolate bar. Worm chuckled, more intent on eating than on their conversation. Sirius had a slight tinge of worry that he’d choke if he didn’t come up for air soon._ _

__Syd sighed in a loving way, like a parent with an unruly child. “I wish you’d just act normal. Like you do with me.”_ _

__Prongs turned to give her an incredulous look. “If I did _that_ , she’d throw me in Azkaban _after_ hexing my balls off.”_ _

__“Besides, I don’t think Prongs _has_ a normal mode.” Sirius smirked at his best mate who glared at him half-heartedly. “Just Lily-obsessed nutter and Quidditch-obsessed nutter. It oscillates between the two.”_ _

__“Takes one to know one.” Prongs muttered under his breath. Syd gave him a slightly confused look. Luckily, Moony drew her attention while he subtly kicked Prongs in the ribs._ _

__“How far did you get?” He asked, eyeing the book next to Syd’s thighs with interest. “I only _just_ gave it you.”_ _

__“Oh,” She picked it up and glanced at the edges to see where her bookmark was. “About halfway through. Just got to the Zoo of Death.”_ _

__Sirius gave her a worried look. She sounded way too excited about this ‘Zoo of Death’. “What exactly is this book about? Should we be concerned about you making a Zoo of Death with Prongs in it?”_ _

__She laughed, the sound sending a thrill through Sirius. He’d only heard her laugh a handful of times but each one was music to his ears. She grinned over at him. “Lily might do that before me.”_ _

__Syd then launched into a synopsis of _The Princess Bride_ with slight input from Moony. Sirius was hooked. If she talked with this much enthusiasm about _one_ book, he couldn’t imagine what she’d do when she got a hold of the Potters’ library over break._ _

__Sirius made a vow at that moment to buy Syd her own library. She deserved every book he could find._ _

__As she finished, claiming she hadn’t given anything away, he smirked over at her. “I think I like the Wesley guy.”_ _

__Moony snorted at the table, not doing a great job at hiding his laughter. Syd’s eyes sparkled with amusement at him. “You should read it. I think you’d like it.”_ _

__“When you’re done, love. I would hate to tear you away when you just got the the Zoo of Death.” He got caught into the pull of her gaze again. Merlin, he could drown in those eyes._ _

__“Speaking of death,” Prongs groaned with pain. “I’m going to feel like death if I eat one more bite.”_ _

__Sirius noticed that he and Worm had managed to eat the majority of the food they’d brought back as they talked. Syd pulled a lock of Prongs’ hair gently. He squawked and swatted her hand away. “Going to get too big to ride a broom too, if you keep it up. You’ll need a hippogriff for the next match.”_ _

__Prongs’ eyes widened in excitement at the idea as Syd’s widened horror at the mistake she’d just made. “No. Joke, Jaimy. Some things are just _jokes_. As in you _shouldn’t do them_.”_ _

__Prongs turned to him, a mad glint in his gaze. “Think Hagrid -“_ _

__“Good night!” Syd interrupted, ending Prongs’ question before he could finish it. Grabbing her book, she clicked her tongue to call Tux to her. The two headed up quickly, Syd probably worried about becoming an accessory to the madness that Prongs was cooking up._ _

__As they heard the top door shut, three Marauders whirled on Sirius. Remus asked first, seeming eager for the answer. “Well?”_ _

__Sirius shook his head, disappointment leaking out from him as he slumped against the couch. Prongs dramatically fell over onto the carpet with a groan. “One job, Pads. _One_. You had the perfect moment!”_ _

__He put both palms against his face, running them up and through his hair in frustration. Sirius knew Prongs was right. It _had_ been a perfect moment. He’d just…Merlin, he was so _distracted_ by her. Everything about her. He looked at the others with determination. “Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sydney: No, James.
> 
> James: YES JAMES.
> 
> *James flies by on Hippogriff*
> 
> This. This is the entire Potter cousin relationship. I don't know why I'm even writing a whole story to explain it. This does it perfectly.
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos, comments, and love ❤️ Stay safe and stay healthy (especially for those of you who have to go back to school)


	23. the 1

The next morning, after breakfast, I stumbled at the bottom of the dorm staircase and right into Remus. He caught me easily, letting me steady myself while giving me a playful smile. I hadn’t even missed a step! I had _literally_ tripped over air. Lord, I was getting clumsier by the day. At this rate, it would be a miracle if I didn’t break my neck by Christmas. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” The sandy haired boy replied. He greeted the others behind me as we walked into the common room. “Did you lot decide to come down?”

He meant the Quidditch Pitch. The boys had wrangled Frank, a few Hufflepuffs, Kole, Nancy, and some other Ravenclaws into a scrimmage. Not all the participates were on the House teams, like Remus, but it seemed that _everyone_ here had at least some Quidditch skills. I sighed, falling into step with him, my bag on my shoulder and Tux at my side. “Yes. Sirius guilted me into it so I guilted Lily and Mar into joining.”

Alice was already down there, ready to play with the rest of them. I didn’t even know she could _play_ Quidditch. Remus smirked knowingly then quirked an eyebrow down at me. “Sure you don’t want to try flying again? You know Pads would bail on the match if you did.”

I squinted at him as we walked out the doors. “Did he ask you to ask me?”

The chuckle answered my question. Stupid boys. “He was worried you’d blame him for what happened if he brought it up again. Guilted _me_ into asking you if you’d be up for flying.”

“He’s a little too charming for his own good, isn’t he?” I muttered. We’d reached the pitch to see a few students flying already including Sirius. The charming boy winked at us as he went by, doing a dangerous and complicated somersault midair as he flew.

“You have no idea.” Remus replied, shaking his head at Sirius showing off.

I left Remus to join the students playing and walked to Lily and Marlene who sat with Emmeline and Dorcas on the bleachers. Claiming the spot next to Lily, I pulled out my Transfiguration book, intent on reading up our last lesson since I’d fallen asleep in class.

I didn’t last 10 minutes.

My attention kept getting drawn up towards the game. It was…exhilarating watching them fly. The balls went between players effortlessly, bouncing around the pitch between their arms. And they went so _fast_. I could barely keep up with how they moved and how they knew where to go. Every single one of them, even Peter, flew as if they’d been doing it since they could walk.

One player in particular was ungodly graceful.

Sirius was playing Chaser in this game, different than the position he played on the team. I hadn’t seen him as a Beater yet but watching him now…it was incredible. His movements were flawless, weaving around players, catching the Quaffle with just his fingertips. I’d ridden a broom with him so I knew that he was a skilled flyer but _seeing_ it was a completely different story. My eyes couldn’t tear themselves away from him.

“Careful there, you don’t want him to _see_ you drooling.” Lily whispered to me. Startled, I quickly swiped my chin and felt the wetness there. Holy _fuck_ I was actually _drooling_ over Sirius. My face was on fire in seconds as Lily giggled next to me. Sirius and James, who’d been flying close by, turned at the sound and my blush deepened so hard that I knew it would be impossible for either of them not to see it.

James’ eyebrow went up, confused over Lily’s amusement, but Sirius - Sirius winked at me with a knowing look. God _damn_ him. They were sucked back into the game, thankfully, which left me with a giggling Lily. I broke out in a sweat and, by habit, went to pull my hair up into a ponytail. It was unseasonably hot out here. Really.

A tug on a lock of hair caused me to turn to see Lily shaking her head. Right. Bite mark. Sighing, I let it fall back onto my shoulders. Lily continued to play with the lock though. “Looks like the potion worked. I love your hair down, I wish mine would curl like this.”

“Are you kidding me?” I asked incredulously, thankful she’d changed the subject. “I would trade for your hair _any_ day. It’s beautiful.”

She smiled softly, her eyes glancing at the field before settling back onto me with a smirk. “I really can’t decide if I like yours or Sirius’ more. I bet the two of you would have gorgeous children.”

I inhaled sharply then choked on the air. “Lily!”

She giggled again, letting the lock of hair fall to join the others. Lily looked down at her book but continued to talk to me. “Although you _are_ a Potter. With your luck, any kids you have will have James’ hair. I pity the poor woman who marries him. She’ll spend her entire life trying to tame not only the children but their hair as well.”

My heart dropped so fast, it was a miracle I wasn’t dead on the spot. A pain I’d _never_ experienced ripped through me, tearing my soul into shreds. What I wouldn’t give to see Lily trying to tame Harry’s hair. And _children_. Not child. Children as in more than one. I could see it now, Lily and James with a plethora of children running wild. Tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to fall at the image in my brain. I must have made a sound, a sound I couldn’t hear over the blood rushing in my ears, because Lily glanced up at me with a worried look.

Her hand reached out to rest on my forearm. “Syd? What’s wrong?”

What was wrong? Everything. This world, the unfairness of Lily not being able to see her _son_ grow up, us sitting here and me _knowing_ what was coming. A train hitting me would’ve hurt less. I swallowed, trying to clear my throat. My voice came out soft as a whisper. “Nothing.”

Lily gave me a skeptical look. She placed her book on the bench beside her, crossed her legs, and rested her head on her hand. “Since we’re on the subject of you avoiding things -“

This jolted me out of my pity party immediately, unsure what direction she was going to go in. “Avoiding -“

“Have you actually slept in the past week?” Damn her. She was too perceptive for her own good. The nightmares varied but every night they came and every night I would wake up terrified or crying. She sighed, already knowing the answer. “Since you refuse to go to Madame Pomfrey -“

“Because I’m fine -“

“Would you at least stop drinking coffee at night and try some tea?” She pleaded. 

I gasped mockingly, my eyes straying back to the game. “Taking away my coffee. I can’t believe you’re my best friend.”

She didn’t respond so I looked over, confused at her silence. Lily seemed to be at a loss for words. After realizing I was waiting for her, she looked down awkwardly before meeting my gaze. “Do…do you mean that?”

“That you’re my best friend or that you’re threatening my coffee? Because I can’t - _oomph_.” Red hair filled my vision and my mouth. I subtly spit it out before wrapping my arms around Lily in return. I smiled, tucking my head against her shoulder, answering her quietly. “Of course I mean it. Did you?”

She pulled back, her eyebrows furrowed slightly. “What?”

“Did you mean it? The other day when you yelled at Sirius, you said ‘You made my best friend your -‘ well, you know.” I gestured towards my right shoulder. I bit my lip, feeling a little exposed. I didn’t like talking about feelings so openly, I was more of an ignore-it-and-act-like-this-is-normal kind of person. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Marlene and Dorcas deep in a discussion while little Emmy was watching the game with a starstruck look. “I know you and Mar and Alice have been friends for years and I thought -“

“No!” Lily interrupted then blushed as she realized how loud she was. “Sorry, I just meant no, not like that. We’ve been friends but…I’ve always been the odd one out. Mar and Ali have a closer relationship with each other than with me and it’s not that I mind, I mean they’re wonderful girls, we’ve just never been…I don’t know. With you, it’s different. It’s like I’ve known you my whole life.”

“I know what you mean.” I grinned softly. She didn’t know how true that was either. In a way, I _had_ known her my whole life. I grew up reading, watching, and obsessing over the Harry Potter series which included Lily. There was a massive difference though in reading about a character who dies early on with a few references versus sitting with this incredibly smart, caring, and passionate witch. “Soooo, since you’re my best friend and all…wanna catch me up on Transfiguration?”

I batted my eyes obnoxiously and she full-bellied laughed at me. “Fine. But only if you agree to tea at night.”

I sighed dramatically and rolled my eyes. _Tea_. Bleh. “Fiiiiine.”

We spent the rest of the scrimmage going over the last lesson. It took a lot of effort to concentrate on what Lily was teaching me. My eyes _wanted_ to stray to the field but every time I found them wandering, I reminded myself that if I wanted to really help the person I kept staring at, I needed to learn magic to do that. By the time they were wrapping up, we were finished going over the lesson and were chatting with Emmeline.

“Brogan has us _still_ going over Patronuses. It’s so boring. I haven’t cast a full Patronus yet but I’ve gotten the closest!” Emmy told us excitedly.

I smiled at her enthusiasm then winked jokingly. “Good to know Remus is good for something.”

“You know, if I didn’t know that insulting people is a form of affection for you, I would be highly offended right now.” An amused voice said from above me. I grinned and tilted my head back to see the tall boy raising an eyebrow down at me.

“This is why you’re the smart one.” I didn’t contradict his observation. Sometimes, I _did_ insult the ones I loved but only because they knew I never meant it. Remus was more observant than I realized. “All done?”

“Lunch.” He replied, gesturing towards the castle. “Just came to gather you ladies.”

I scoffed, shoving my things in my bag then swung my leg over the bench. “ _Ladies_. I have never and _will_ never be a lady. Ladies don’t get to curse as much as I do.”

“You’re not wrong.” He shook his head with a smirk and turned to walk back towards the castle when I leapt onto his back, circling my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He automatically grabbed onto me, not protesting or even surprised at the move. Lily and Emmy walked on his left as Dorcas and Marlene followed us with Tux ahead of us. I ruffled Remus’ hair playfully. “Look at you, good for _two_ things.”

Remus barked out a laugh. “Only two? I provided you with chocolate and books and I don’t even get credit for it. Rude.”

“Ah, this is true. Ok, four things.” We drew closer to the others who were talking amongst themselves. Sirius was the first to notice us, his eyes lighting up when they met mine. My stomach did that lava-thing, heat spreading from my middle outwards, and I did everything I could to not blush at the feeling. I muttered softly to him, still joking. “You’d think after being wolfy for 13 years, you’d at least have bulked up more.”

“13 - how did you -“ Remus shook his head and I realized my mistake. He never told me when he was turned. Shit. As fast as I could, I changed the subject.

“Then again, if you were all bulky you wouldn’t be able to wear these comfy sweaters all the time.” I squeezed him gently. “They’re like a part of your personality.”

When we joined the group, Sirius cocked his head slightly at me. “So what were you ladies laughing about while we played? We could hear you across the field.”

That blush hit my cheeks full force and my eyes shot to Lily who grinned evilly. Then she opened her mouth. “Well, we were actually - _oomph_.”

In a swift move, which considering how clumsy I’d become it was a miracle I’d moved so fast, I launched myself off of Remus and had my hand clamped over her mouth. “We were debating who’s hair was better. Mine or yours - _Lily Evans_.”

I withdrew my hand in disgust and wiped my now slobbery hand on her sweatshirt. She giggled at the face I made, proud of herself for getting me back. “You’re the one that put it there.”

Rolling my eyes, I tried to keep the conversation going and redirect Sirius’ interest in our previous conversation. And I knew the perfect way to do it. “ _Anyways_ , I was going to say we might be completely wrong. I think Remus has the best hair.”

“ _Excuse_ me, love?” Sirius’ stared at me with shock. His eyes locked onto mine and I grinned widely, enjoying this.

“I mean, his hair is just _so_ much softer.” Sirius took a few steps closer as I talked, a predatory stance in his movement. “So fluffy and -“

He was in front of me now, glaring down at me jokingly. His eyes stayed glued onto mine and I gulped, worried about the glint in his gaze.

“And _what_?” He growled softly, so close I could practically feel it vibrate in his chest. I took a step back which he mirrored.

“Soft?” I answered, unsure of another word for hair with him looking at me like that. His lips turned down for a moment, lower lip jutting out, redirecting my attention from his eyes to them. In that moment, he moved.

“ _SIRIUS!_ ” I screamed, my stomach now had a shoulder digging into it. I was upside down, over his shoulder and we were walking away from the crowd who was laughing at me. I smacked the back of his thigh. “Put me _down!_ ”

“Love, you just insulted my _hair_.” He said, his strides sure and confident as he walked. I leaned to the side to see past his thigh and my eyes widen in horror.

“Sirius Black, I will _kill_ you if you throw me in that lake!” I threatened, smacking him again. I felt the hard outline of his wand - his _actual_ wand, not - although, _that_ one could be in kicking distance.

He scoffed, shaking his head in disappointment. “You think _Moony_ has better - _fuck_.”

Sirius' feet looked as though something had caught his ankles. The next second, I was sprawled in the grass with Sirius on top of me. Rubbing the back of my head, I leaned up on my elbow and grinned at him, waving his wand. His eyes went wide before narrowing at me. “ _Now_ you’re really going in.”

He grabbed my hips, trying to haul me towards him as I wriggled my legs to get away. After a few moments of failing to escape, I gave up and breathed heavily as Sirius leaned over me, one hand holding himself up while the other held both wrists over my head. “You wouldn’t _really_ throw me in, would you? Especially since _last_ time you made me go in, we both almost died.”

“I distinctly remember _me_ almost dying and _you_ willingly jumping in.” His voice was slightly breathless from our struggle. “And - _shite_.”

I was on top of him now, our positions reversed. In his moment of weakness, I’d managed to hook one leg over his right ankle and my other leg in between his. By lifting my hips and turning to my left, I flipped him over without him even realizing it until it was too late. I grinned, giving him a cocked eyebrow. “You were saying?”

He stared up at me in confusion. “How the _hell_ -“

“Oi! If you two are _done_ , we want to eat!” Jaimy called from a few feet away.

I placed one hand on each of his knees and pushed myself up. Sticking a hand down, he grasped it tightly and I helped haul him up. He looked down at me as if he’d never seen me before. “What?”

“ _You_.” He sputtered then stopped, looking for words. “How did you _do_ that?”

“Easy. Just had to distract you for a moment. Seems to be my forte.” I winked haughtily as a blush bloomed on his cheeks. I meant that as a joke but… _did_ I actually distract him? Quickly, I changed the subject. “Come on, before Jaimy throws a fit.”

Sirius shook his head slightly, back to his normal self. I hooked my arm through his and steered him back towards the others, a wide smile on my face.

Sirius Black thought I was _distracting_.

—-

The 7th year Gryffindors were sitting in the common room before dinner. Everyone lounging in their usual spots. Padfoot and Sydney on the couch, almost but not quite touching, with Prongs leaning against it as he played Exploding Snap with Wormtail, Marlene, and Alice. Lily sat across from Remus at the chess board, intently playing. At least Lily was.

Remus couldn’t help glancing at Syd again. There was something…off about her. _You’d think after being wolfy for 13 years, you’d at least have bulked up more._ He’d never told her when he had turned. He _knew_ he hadn’t. And the other Marauders would never discuss something so personal, even with Syd. It was a night he _never_ talked about. 

It was more than that though. Padfoot had been talking about her, nothing new there, but had revealed she’d been to Graceland in the States. Remus was familiar with Elvis Presley, he wasn’t his favorite singer but both of his parents were fans. And last he checked, _no one_ was allowed into Graceland.

 _Then_ there was the Cauldron Cake face last night. Along with other _normal_ wizarding things, Syd seemed completely surprised at or as if she’d never seen them before. It wasn't noticeable unless you were watching her carefully or were observant enough.

Not to mention how much she forgot her wand. She’d yelled at the other Marauders for forgetting to use their wands to hold him back the other night but _she’d_ completely forgotten it in her room. She never had it on her.

Like now.

“I’ll meet you down there.” She waved them off, stepping back into the common room. “Don’t eat all the potatoes!”

“She’s never going to let that go.” Padfoot muttered. Surprisingly, he stayed with them instead of following Syd like…well, like a puppy. Tux stayed at Sirius’ side, unconcerned by his owner suddenly not there.

As they walked closer to the Hall, Remus began to turn over previous conversations with Syd. He didn’t like where his mind was going but it was like a pixie darting around his head: persistent with a nasty bite. Syd was so kind, thoughtful, courageous, and…a _good_ person. 

He didn’t want to think about the odd things she did, things that made him question her past. But…there was _something_ off. Something nagging at him. His gut was telling him that whatever she was hiding wasn’t good. Just as he took the last step on the staircase, he froze as something she’d said came to him with startling clarity. 

_It would be helpful if I had a map._

That smirk. She _knew_. She knew about the Map.

His breath whooshed out of him as other things she’d said started to come back to him.

_I mean if I did it wrong, I could end up with antlers or a tail for the rest of my life._

_Antlers_. The tail thing could be brushed off as a common animal appendage but _antlers_ could only be a few things.

 _If I want to go fuck a werewolf on top of the Astronomy Tower then I goddamn_ will.

Not a vampire, not a giant, not a centaur. A _werewolf_. 

He knew she liked Sirius, it was obvious to everyone, and didn’t actually _mean_ that but…it seemed as if she’d said to _provoke_ Sirius. Because she already -

“Moony?” Prongs’ voice caused him to jump slightly. His best friend watched him with concerned eyes. Padfoot and Worm were waiting at the Hall entrance with similar looks. “Alright, there?”

“I - uh. Cold.” He said, thinking of the first thing to pop into his head. He could feel the October chill through the t-shirt he wore and latched onto it as his excuse. “I’m going to run back and grab my jumper.”

He could tell Prongs believed him instantly. After years of his sensitivity to the castle’s temperature, there was no reason for Prongs _not_ to believe him. “Ok. Oh, and make sure Syd doesn’t fall down a staircase or punch an unsuspecting passerby. Swear, that girl is a complete nutter.”

“If I catch her.” Remus replied, trying to be nonchalant at the mention of Syd. Without another look at his friends, his _brothers_ , he went off to hunt down the girl who seemed to know just a little too much.

—-

A strong hand gripped my shoulder, spinning me around. Expecting LeStrange or even Regulus behind me, I gasped as Remus pushed me against the wall. His right hand held his wand against me while his left forearm held me against the stone.

“You knew. You knew I was a werewolf, about the others being animangi, about the _Map_. Hell, you even know Sirius’ middle name. You make odd references to things that haven’t happened or that you shouldn’t know and you showed up out of _no where_.” Remus’ face was only inches from mine, his wand digging into my neck. “You’re _not_ James’ cousin. We’ve known him for _years_ , there’s no way he didn’t know about you. Who the bloody hell are you?”

“Remus, just -”

“Do _not_ tell me to calm down.” He growled, pushing his arm harder into my sternum. “We don’t talk about it but there is a _war_ going on out there. Are you spying on us?”

“No! Remus, no. Jesus,” I stared into his amber eyes, trying to convince him that I was on _his_ side. “I will tell you but not _here_. Please, Remus. Not where anyone could hear us.”

“The dorm. _Now_.” He let up his left arm but grabbed my forearm, moving his wand to press it into my side. At a glance, it probably just looked like we were walking arm in arm but it was more like a hostage situation. Quietly, we walked up to the tower, only passing three people on their way to dinner. As soon as we’d made it into his dorm, he pushed me away from him and pointed his wand at my face. “Talk. You’re not James’ cousin so don’t lie about that.”

I held my hands up, showing my deference to him. “I’m not. Listen, this is not at all what you think it is.”

“I _think_ it’s pretty clear. You are lying to everyone. What I don’t know is why.” His arm trembled slightly. I pressed my lips together. Damn it. This was bad. I needed to get Remus on my side, to keep my secrets. He’d realize if I lied more to him so that left only one choice. The truth.

“To save you. James, Lily, Sirius, you. Hell, the majority of the people I’ve met here.”

“Save us from _what_?” He growled.

“The future.” I said quietly. He watched me carefully, his wand still pointed at my face. “Remus, I’m not from here.”

“You’re American. Clearly you’re not -”

I shook my head, cutting him off. “No. I’m not from _here_. This time. This world. Remus, my birthday is January 4th...2000.”

The color drained from his face. “That’s not -”

“Possible? I wish it wasn’t. In my world,” I paused, trying to find the right words. “In my world, you’re not _real_. You’re a character in a story.”

“I’m real, Syd. I’m _right_ here.” Remus gestured to himself.

“I _know_. But Remus, I know things about you, all of you, that I couldn’t possibly know.”

“Like what? What could you know?” He challenged.

“Your name is Remus John Lupin. Born March 10, 1960. You are a half-blood, your parents are Lyall and Hope Lupin -”

“Anyone could have told you these things.”

I continued as if he hadn’t interrupted, refusing to break eye contact with him. “Who met because of a boggart. You were bitten by Fenrir Greyback as a child, before coming to Hogwarts. It was revenge for your father outing him as a werewolf at trial and then saying Greyback should be killed. The other Marauders found out about your ‘furry little problem’ in second year and became illegal animangi by fifth -”

“How -”

“Your werewolf form almost killed Severus because of Sirius but James saved him.” I paused for a moment, still watching him. His wand had dropped a few inches the longer I spoke. These weren’t things that were written in the books but my Emmy and I had deep dived into the Wizarding World and found information like this. Judging by his face…it was all true. “You’re afraid of the full moon, it’s your boggart. Remus, I know who you’re going to marry, the name of your child, and when you’re going to _die_. I am _not_ making this up.”

He stared at me with shock. I stared back, not sure what else to say. He would either believe me or he wouldn’t. Slowly, he pointed his wand down. “Tell me _everything_. You said we were _all_ going to die. What did you mean?”

My throat caught and I swallowed, trying to clear it. Shaking my head, I backed up a few steps. “No. I can’t - Remus, I _can’t_. You’re not supposed to _know_.”

“Who _else_ , Sydney? What happens that made you come back 40 years into the past?” Remus looked at me imploringly. “This is my _family_ , Syd. You can’t stand there and not _tell_ me.”

“You think they’re not my family too?! That _you’re_ not?!” I roared at him, angry at the insinuation that I didn’t _care_ about them. If anything, I cared _too_ much. “I’ve been here a few _weeks_ and I would _anything_ for you. But I _can’t_ tell you the future! I don’t even know if it’s going to happen! I’m not supposed to _be here_ , Remus! I have been losing my _mind_ for weeks. I wake up half the time thinking it’s all been a dream and then realize it’s _not_. And I care so much for all of you, it _hurts_ every time I meet _another person who’s going to die_ like Emmeline and Dorcas. I am so _tired_ and stressed that I can’t even see straight! But what if I tell you and that _changes_ something and I don’t know what it changes? If I know it’s coming, I can try and _stop_ it. I - I -”

My breath was coming in gasps now. Everything coming out in a torrent. Arms enveloped me and I instantly clung to Remus, sobbing into his chest. He held me as I just let out all of my frustration, my anger, my sadness, my loneliness, all of it just came pouring out in tears. I was so _lost_. I tried to act like I wasn’t but I was. I really was. “I can’t lose you. I can’t lose any of you.”

“I can’t lose you either, Syd. You _are_ family. I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t.” He whispered into my hair, running a hand soothingly on my back. “But you can’t do this alone. _Please_ just let me help. Don’t tell me something if you can’t but tell me enough so I can help you and you aren’t so alone.”

“I’m so scared, Remus.” I mumbled against him, my voice breaking with anxiety. “So scared of losing you, losing Jaimy, Lily, _Sirius_.”

“You are not going to lose me. _Never_. I will always be here for you, Syd.” I looked up at him and he ran a hand over my hair, pushing it back. Cradling my face gently, he met my eyes. “I am here for you, in what ever way you need me.”

“You can’t tell. Especially Sirius. Remus, he _can’t_ know -”

The door shut with a soft click and we sprung apart. Scared, I turned to him. “Did someone -”

Remus ran to the door, ripping it open. I wiped my face, following him quickly down the stairs. We stumbled down to an empty common room. Not a soul was there. Remus ran a hand through his hair, looking at me. “It could’ve been the wind.”

“Is the Map upstairs?” I asked quietly. There were only a few people who would’ve walked into that dorm. All of them would be disastrous. I had a sick feeling though that I knew which one had. Remus nodded and walked quickly back up the stairs. Racing after him, I entered the dorm to see him already checking the Map. Stepping closer, I looked over his shoulder and my stomach dropped. 

_Peter_. Peter was walking towards the Great Hall. Remus met my eyes, worry etched in his face. “How much do you think he heard?”

“I guess we’ll find out. Look,” I pointed to his name which joined the other Marauders. A few moments later, we watched James, Sirius, and Peter walking towards the Tower. Towards _us._ “Remus, if Peter heard _any_ of that -”

“He won’t tell, Syd.” Remus sounded sincere but I shook my head at him. How do you tell someone that the person who just eavesdropped on us was the one responsible for some of the deaths I just talked about? “He’s one of us.”

“You can’t trust him, Remus.” I whispered, closing my eyes. When I opened them, he was watching me warily. “I can’t tell you why but you _can’t_ trust Peter. If you believed anything I just told you, you _have_ to believe me.”

“Of course I believe you, Syd. But Peter is like a brother to me, to James and Sirius too.” Remus was loyal to Peter, I could see that. It broke my heart knowing that Peter wasn’t worthy of being friends with someone like Remus.

“They can’t know, oh God,” My breath started coming in gasps again. Logically I knew what was happening but physically I couldn’t stop. Remus pulled me back into his arms, trying to calm me down as I hyperventilated.

The door smashed open behind us and we turned to see a furious Sirius, a disappointed James, and a worried Peter. Sirius spoke first. “So it’s true.”

Remus and I looked at each other, his arms still loosely wrapped around me and my hands resting against his chest. I tried to speak. “Sirius -“

“You don’t even have the decency to at least go somewhere you won’t get _caught_? Merlin, Syd I thought you - I hope you’re _happy_ together.” He spat viciously. Before either of us could answer, Sirius turned and stormed from the room. 

“Sirius!” I yelled, desperate suddenly to talk to him. To see him. To just - I didn’t even know. The look in his eyes. So broken - no, shattered. That was the word. _Shattered. I_ did that. 

“SIRIUS!” I screamed hoping he’d come back. He _had_ to come back, I had to explain. I went to go after him, pulling myself away from Remus. Happy together? What was he _talking_ about? I went to go out the door but Jaimy stepped in, cutting me off. I couldn’t even look at him, my eyes still searching for Sirius even though I knew he wasn’t there.

James shook his head at us, glaring between Remus and I. “You could have at least told him, Syd. Not let him find out like _this_.”

“Told him what?” I wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction. Sirius shouldn’t have been furious. I didn’t know what I expected but not _this_. What was he finding out? About how I wasn’t from here? Why would he _look_ like that about me being -

“I’ll follow him.” Peter muttered before leaving us. I looked at James again, still confused.

“Prongs, what did Worm tell you?” Remus spoke quietly. I’d forgotten Remus behind me. In my panic, over Sirius, I had pushed everything else away.

“Don’t,” James spat at Remus. I recoiled at the anger coming from him, taking a literal step back. It felt _horrible_. I had never seen James so disgusted. “You knew how Padfoot felt. ‘I’m here for you in what ever way you _need_ me’? ‘We can’t tell anyone. Especially Sirius’? If you two were going to sneak around -”

“Sneak around -” Remus seemed as confused as I was but less frantic.

“Wait a minute,” My mind slowly connected the dots. Although I _wanted_ to focus on James’ comment about how Sirius felt, I knew I couldn’t right this second. “You think -”

“Prongs, _no_. It’s not like that.” Remus stepped up behind me, putting his hands up. “We’re not -”

I looked at Remus with wide eyes. Shit, shit, _shit_. If Remus told James we weren’t together then we didn’t have an explanation for what Peter had overheard. Knowing this was going to bite me _so hard_ in the ass later, I blurted, “Remus rejected me.”

“ _What?!_ ” James and Remus gaped at me, in complete shock.

“I was confused, I didn’t know Sirius felt anything for me.” I was grasping at straw here. I _didn’t_ know that Sirius felt anything for me but based on James’ reaction, apparently Sirius felt _something_ for me. Or at least he had. Until Peter opened his big mouth. I couldn’t let Remus take the fall for this. It was _my_ fault, I had to be the one Sirius hated _not_ Remus. “I had feelings for Remus _and_ Sirius. That’s why I told him we couldn’t tell Sirius. I didn’t want Sirius to know Remus rejected me, it would seem like I was just going to Sirius because Remus didn’t want me.”

“So you’re _not_ together?” James seemed skeptical, looking between us.

“No,” I replied, blushing from the intense look James gave me. For what he knew, I deserved it. As far as he was concerned, I’d just broken his best friend’s heart. “And Sirius probably hates me now.”

James gave me a soft look, a complete 180 from a moment ago, clearly feeling bad for me. “He could never hate you, Syd. We can explain it tomorrow. Let him cool off. I don’t think he’s going to listen to reason right now.”

“How about you head to bed, Syd?” Remus suggested quietly. He exchanged a look with James that I couldn’t read. “We’ll discuss it in the morning.”

Nodding silently, I wiped my face. Before passing James, I turned and looked him square in the eye, forcing him to see how honest I was being right then. “I would _never_ hurt Sirius like that, Jaimy. I _couldn’t_.”

Not would. _Couldn’t_. I was selfish that way. I could _not_ fathom the thought of hurting Sirius. Even if it meant leaving here forever, I would make him _hate_ me before I’d ever see him hurt.

James opened his arms and I stepped into them to hug him tightly. I clutched desperately to him, wishing I could erase the last few minutes of time. “I know. I’m sorry this even happened. Try and get some sleep, ok?”

“Ok.” I whispered, squeezing him once more. I left the dorm room and headed to my own. Tux must have been with Lily because when I entered, I was the only one there. Tears poured down my face as my back hit the door and I slid to the floor.

I fucked up. The pain in Sirius’ eyes when he saw Remus and I had told me everything. I thought the worry of the others finding out about me would be bad but this was _worse_. Sirius had felt something for me. Probably the same thing I felt for him. We had grown so close over the past few weeks and I kept trying to push those feelings away but they _wouldn’t_ leave me alone.

And now...now he thought I didn’t want him.

The _look_ in his eyes. Just thinking about it brought a new round of sobs tearing out of my throat. How could I have been so _stupid_? We should’ve gone to the Room of Requirement. Hell, we could’ve gone _outside_. Why did we go to the one place we could get caught? Where we _did_ get caught but not in the way Sirius had assumed.

Why would he assume that?! Lily had _just_ said I was hanging all over him, everyone had thought we were dating. Hell, _I_ felt as though we were dating already.

How could he think _anyone_ could compare to him? Remus was great and all but _Sirius_. Every time I looked at him, was within his radius, it was like I _had_ to be near him. His smile, his humor, his very essence.

And I’d _hurt_ him. I wanted to go find him, explain things, tell him _everything_. The time traveling, the plane traveling, the future. I would do _anything_ to fix what I saw in his eyes. _Anything_. Tears streamed down my face, my nose ran like I had the flu, and I continued to just _sit_ there.

I knew Jaimy was right. He wouldn’t listen to me right now. Why _should_ he? I was the tramp who’d just been caught with one of his best friends.

This was probably for the best though. Like I told Remus, I wasn’t supposed to be here. I _shouldn’t_ exist here. Therefore, I shouldn’t be having feelings for someone from here. He should be with someone who belonged here.

Then why did the thought of him with someone else make me sick?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chasing Time Playlist:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2KuEsueO7LreAvY8RIPioV?si=0EzZjZ_VSd6aXyZl22CQZQ
> 
> I write/am inspired by a lot of things including songs. Sometimes they only make sense in my brain but if you’d like to listen to my madness, here you go.
> 
> Had a little bit of writers block with this one but I’m glad it happened now and not after I posted this one. 
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos, comments, and love. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	24. Die From a Broken Heart

I woke up later than usual the next morning. My eyes were sore from crying until I’d fallen asleep. Checking my watch, I saw it was almost 8am and if I didn’t head down soon then I’d miss breakfast. The dorm room was empty, the others must’ve decided to let me wake up in peace. Which meant they knew.

For a moment, I considered staying in bed. Maybe Lily would let me skip Potions.

But I couldn’t. Sooner or later I was going to have to fix my friendship...relationship?...with Sirius. Explain things. Or at least a fake version of things. Sighing, I got up and threw on a sweatshirt I’d picked up from Gladrag’s. Putting on Sirius’ sweatshirt seemed wrong at the moment.

I checked myself in the bathroom, pulling my hair half up and rinsing my face off, then headed down. I didn’t have the energy to shower before class but if I went down now, ate quickly, I would have time to throw on my uniform and grab my bag when I dropped Tux off. Speaking of, Lily or James must’ve taken Tux down with them since he seemed to be missing too.

I passed a few people in the halls on the way. Every single one of them began to whisper as I passed. When I turned to look at them though, they quickly stopped or walked away.

Weird.

Entering the Great Hall, I automatically walked towards my seat, rubbing my eyes behind my glasses. My steps froze when I looked at the table and my stomach dropped so fast, I was pretty sure I was going to puke.

There was someone in my seat.

And Sirius had _his hand_ on _her_ back.

My coffee-less state couldn’t figure out what was happening but the snicker from the Hufflepuff girl to my left made me snap out of my staring. Remus, James, and the girls watched me worriedly while Peter stuffed his face. Sirius hadn’t turned and the girl draped over him hadn’t seen me either.

I could _feel_ the entire Great Hall watching me.

It was awful. All those people just _staring_ to see what I would do. Because clearly I was going to do _something._

Yup, I was going to throw up.

Quietly, I made my way past Peter, Sirius, the blonde Hufflepuff, and took a seat next to James. A coffee cup was pushed into my hands within seconds and I took a long drink. Tux crept under the table and put his head in my lap, staring up at me sadly. James watched me cautiously as I drank my coffee.

“If you take a picture, Jaimy, it’ll last longer.” I raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to say something about Sirius’ behavior.

“I don’t want to see your ugly mug more than I have to, thank you very much.” He shot back. A grunt escaped him and he threw a glare at Lily who was giving him a heated look. I bit my lip to keep from laughing at them.

“Paris?” A nasally voice called over James. I continued to sip my coffee, debating if I’d have bacon along with my normal muffin. “Paris? Can you pass me the sugar?”

James nudged me lightly in my ribs. He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “I think she means you.”

I leaned forward, meeting the blue eyes of the blonde girl next to James. _Jade_. That bimbo that had been waiting outside Muggle Studies the other day. She met my eyes with so much glee, my hand unconsciously turned into a fist. Letting out a breath through my nose, I replied as calmly as I could. “Sorry, what was that?”

“Can you pass me the sugar bowl, Paris? I need at _least_ 4 spoonfuls of sugar for my coffee.” She said cheerfully.

“Sydney, not Paris.” I raised an eyebrow but handed her the sugar, trying to keep the judgement from my face. I had _purposely_ told her my name so I knew she was just trying to fuck with me. I would _not_ let her get to me. “Here.”

“Oh, you know, all those Muggle cities, I get them mixed up.” She waved a manicured hand carelessly. She _knew_ Sydney was a Muggle city as was Paris and yet she couldn’t remember which one was which? I could smell the bullshit from a mile away. “Siri knows all the Muggle cities though, right Siri?”

My eyes widened at the dumb nickname. Raising my eyebrow higher, I finally looked over at Sirius for the first time that morning. He watched me smugly. “Right. You know what, Jadey? I think we should head out. We don’t want to be _late_ for class.”

She giggled when Sirius threw her a wink. The two of them walked out of the hall, the girl hanging off of _Siri_ shamelessly. 

I turned back to the group but no one would look at me. Apparently, breakfast was more interesting than _that_ nonsense. “What the hell was that? _Siri_?

Marlene rolled her eyes. “That’s not the worst one we’ve heard.”

“You get used to them after a while.” James muttered, stabbing his eggs.

“I’m happy for you and Remus but it was so _nice_ not having to deal with them while you were dating Sirius.” Alice sighed dejectedly. Lily nudged her gently and gave her a look.

“Ali, I’m not dating Remus. And I _wasn’t_ dating Sirius.” Despite how much I wanted to. Marlene and Alice’s heads whipped towards me as I sipped my coffee.

“You _weren’t?_ ” Marlene gasped.

Lily rolled her eyes. “I _told_ you that.”

“But - but - the clothes!” Alice stuttered.

“And you are _always_ missing from the dorm at night!” Marlene pointed a finger at me.

“I have insomnia.” I answered with a shrug. “And I also have James’ shirt that I stole. Doesn’t mean I’m dating James.”

The boy spit out his coffee at my words, hacking out a lung. He gasped and stared at me in horror. “I thought we had moved on from the incest thing. Don’t bring that back.”

“It’s never going to go away.” Remus threw in. I gave him a dry look and he smirked. “Especially now you look so much alike. You’ve got the whole -“

I pointed my finger threateningly at him. “If you say _Flowers in the Attic_ thing, so help me God, I will murder you right here.”

Lily and Remus both gave me confused looks. As if they - _fuck_. It wasn’t published yet, was it? I watched as Remus realized my mistake. I _really_ needed to get a better filter or Lily was going to figure out my little secret next.

“You’re not dating Remus. And you didn’t date Sirius.” Marlene counted each finger as she spoke, railroading right over my _massive_ mistake. “Are you dating Snape then?”

The three boys’ jaws dropped. I rolled my eyes, this was ridiculous. “I’m not dating _anyone_. I’ve actually never had a boyfriend.”

James scoffed loudly next to me. Crossing my arms, I turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “That can’t possibly be true.”

“It is. I never had anyone who I liked ask me out.” It was true. The guys who had asked me out, I wasn’t interested in and the ones I had an interest in _never_ asked me. Or strung me along. Case in point. “Ergo, no boyfriend.”

Lily tilted her head at me questioningly. “Why didn’t you ask them out?”

I shrugged and sipped my coffee again. Honestly, it was fear of rejection. And accordingly to _me_ , last night I was rejected by Remus. James luckily didn’t say anything but shot a look between Remus and I. I quickly replied before James could voice his curiosity. “I’m confused though. Is this something that happens a lot?”

The others exchanged glances. James ruffled his hair awkwardly before answering. “Pads, uh, has a reputation.”

My eyebrow went up when he didn’t elaborate. Remus helped him out. “He dates...a lot.”

“Girlfriend of the month, sometimes girlfriend of the _week_.” Alice rolled her eyes from across the table.

“And no one thought to mention this _before_ now?” Everyone looked embarrassed, trading guilty looks.

“We thought maybe he’d outgrown it. Since you two seemed to be getting along so well.” Even Lily seemed awkward talking about this. I kind of felt stupid though. Of _course_ someone like Sirius would have a history of girls. I mean the dude was insanely good looking and knew it. I couldn’t help but feel blindsided though by him flaunting a girl at breakfast though.

“You know what? I’m going to get ready for class. I don’t have nearly enough brain power to deal with this.” I pushed myself up and took my mug of coffee with me. The Hall watched as I left with my dog at my side, everyone waiting for me to cause a scene. Well, they could wait for a while because I _refused_ to let this affect me. If Sirius wanted a girlfriend then I was happy for him. I would have more time to focus on stopping Voldemort if I wasn’t being distracted by Sirius. This was good.

Maybe if I told myself this enough times, I’d actually believe it.

—-

Severus watched the Gryffindors enter the Potions room behind his curtain of hair. McKinnon and Fawley sauntered in first and went straight to their seats, whispering to each other hurriedly. Lily was behind them but kept herself closer to Rose who entered next. Potter was practically clinging to his cousin who seemed slightly annoyed at the proximity. Lupin entered next to last, the rear guard for Rose. Black was the last to enter, swaggering his way to his seat a second before Slughorn entered.

Rose calmly sat to his right, methodically taking out her textbook and a piece of parchment to write on. They had an easy day today, just review over the next few weeks of potions they’d be making and what to expect. Severus knew every potion and had already done them in one of the empty classrooms near his common rooms which he used as a potions lab. No one bothered him and it allowed him to experiment without being disturbed by his roommates.

He couldn’t stop himself from glancing at Rose as Slughorn droned on. She seemed _fine_. It was absurd. Last week, she’d admitted - although unintentionally - that she was in love with Black and this morning, she’d seen - Merlin, _everyone_ had seen Black parading a girl on his arm at breakfast. How she kept from resorting to violence at Black’s attitude was beyond him.

The rumors though…even Severus had heard them. Apparently, Rose had been caught in a compromising position with Lupin. She’d been dating _both_ Gryffindors for weeks behind each others backs. Severus wasn’t one to believe such nonsense but clearly _something_ major had happened. 

It also seemed uncharacteristic for Rose. They’d spoken a handful of times, including the reaming out after dueling with Black, but he’d gauged that Rose was an honorable person with no problem showing others how she felt. Mostly in the form of physical violence. She really did belong in Gryffindor. Dating two people at once, secretly for weeks though? Unlikely.

Class went by faster than he thought, caught up in his own mind. Slughorn was wrapping up before he knew it and the students around them quickly packed their things to rush out. Black was the first one out the door, disappearing before anyone else had even stood. Severus felt the urge to reassure Rose when he saw a pained look flash across her face as Potter joined their table to collect his cousin.

Before Severus could stop himself, he muttered to the girl next to him. “Don’t take it personally, Rose. Black doesn’t have any sense of dignity when it comes to other people.”

Rose put a hand up to stop Potter who had opened his mouth and turned to Severus, her face reflecting a false calm and spoke with a stern voice. “Severus, while I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, don’t. Just don’t. This is my fault and I would really like it if we could just act like nothing happened.”

Rose turned a glare on her cousin who flinched slightly. “That goes for you, too. No waiting for me, no trying to herd me away from Sirius, none of it. I love you but I’d also love to punch you in the face right now. I. Am. _Fine_. You acting like this is a big deal will just make it worse.”

Potter huffed with annoyance at being caught trying to make up for his best mate’s actions. Even Severus could see how much Potter cared for Rose. And Severus had been so sure Potter only cared about himself. It was irritating to be proven wrong. Potter narrowed his eyes at her. “Well, get your arse moving then or we’ll be late for Charms, nutter.”

Rose rolled her eyes at him, pulling her bag onto her shoulder before standing. She turned to Severus and flashed him a thankful grin. “See you later, Sev.”

Severus was too stunned to reply before she swept out the door with Potter ahead of her. No one had called him Sev since…since Lily. And Rose said it so casually. As if they were _friends_. 

—-

The day went by quickly despite how…sad I was. I wasn’t broken. I _wasn’t_. But I was sad. Sirius hadn’t even given me a chance to explain before falling into someone’s bed. He disappeared periodically throughout the day, coming back with ruffled hair and a satisfied smirk. Jade only joined us for lunch where she once again sat in my usual spot.

Muggle Studies was the worst though. Sirius had _skipped_ class rather than be there with me. The thought had crossed my mind but I was glad I hadn’t gone through with it, I might’ve run into Sirius while skipping and that would’ve been more embarrassing. Jade had also been missing from Muggle Studies. I hadn’t even noticed her in class before but the seat next Xeno was conveniently empty and it made me realize that she’d been in the same room as me twice a week for the last month.

I didn’t even know _how_ I was supposed to feel. There were so many emotions running through me during the day, it was a miracle I was functional at all. The shock from this morning, the urge to scratch Jade’s face off when she smirked at me, anguish at the memory of Sirius’ face last night, annoyance at the pitying looks from my friends, but mostly…the empty space next to me. That one hurt the most. 

Sirius had been a constant presence and even though it’d only been one day of him not being there, I felt… _wrong_. As if an arm was missing. 

I walked into the Hall and quickly took my regular seat for dinner, establishing my dominance over Jade. Or some nonsense like that. I felt like a _child_ being this petty but then I looked at her smug ass face and any thoughts of how childish I was were overpowered by the desire to beat her in any way I could. Taking my seat back was one little victory.

Or so I thought.

I bit my lip as her elbow knocked into mine _again_ as we ate. Potatoes slipped from my fork and landed on my skirt, the butter absorbing immediately into the material. Supposedly, Jade ate left handed. Oh no, she _wrote_ with her right hand and used her _wand_ with her right hand but _ate_ with her left.

The only good part about this situation was that she annoyed me so much, it distracted me from the fact that she was _with Sirius_. I could see a hickey on her neck forming and a surge of…ugh, jealousy shot through me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and blew it slowly out through my nose. I would _not_ punch her. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she was getting under my skin.

“Ew, does that _thing_ have to be at the table?” Jade’s voice dripped with distain, her glare on Tux who was currently eating the potatoes I’d dropped in my lap.

I couldn’t decide whether to laugh at the irony or smack her for calling Tux a _thing_. “You don’t like dogs?”

“Merlin, no. They slobber everywhere and the _hair_.” The blonde girl shivered dramatically. “It just ruins every outfit.”

I had my elbow on the table and leaned my hand against my mouth to try and stifle my laugh. Remus’ eyes caught mine across the table and he seemed to be in the same boat. Sirius was dating a girl _who didn’t like dogs_. It just too perfect.

“Actually, Tux doesn’t shed.” Marlene piped up from across the table. I gave her a grateful look which she returned with a smile. She looked back at Jade casually. “I’ve never seen a hair on my clothes from him. Butter on the other hand -“

“It’s not Butter’s fault.” Lily protested next to Mar. “She’s just a cat. _You_ should check your sweater after picking her up.”

Marlene scoffed at her. “She should be bald from the amount of hair she looses. We’re lucky the house elves clean up after her. If they didn’t, we’d probably have another cat from all that fur.”

James nudged me gently. I tilted my head towards him, silently questioning him. “You still going to your training?”

“Of course.” I replied, confused why that would even be a question. It wasn’t like I could just _stop_ trying to save my friends. He didn’t know the truth but there was no reason for him to think I would stop ‘training’.

He nodded thoughtfully, taking a bite of his steak. “How’s that going?”

“Lot of studying. Kind of boring.” I shrugged. “Why?”

“Just checking.” His eyes shot towards Remus before settling back on me. He was lying. I just couldn’t tell why. Putting down my fork, I turned my upper body towards him, crossed my arms, and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Then stop being shady. Why would I stop training?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. James glanced behind me pointedly. He - _oh_. He thought I’d skip because of Sirius. Because he thought I was heartbroken over him. “I’m not going to skip training, Jaimy. McGonagall is offering to _train me_. I’m not going to piss her off by skipping.”

“I didn’t say you should.” He muttered, trying to cover up his attempt to pry into my feelings. He was so easy to read sometimes. No one had had a chance to corner me yet and I was avoiding it at all costs. If he got me to skip then he’d probably spend the night trying to make me _feel_ better or pity me or something. I _hated_ talking about my feelings.

“I told you earlier, I’m fine.” I murmured, aware of the audience behind me. Even over the din of the Hall, private conversations were not always private. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

He huffed angrily. So loud that Lily raised an eyebrow at him from across the table. She turned back to Marlene after a second and James took that moment to contradict me. “I will _always_ worry about you. That lack of self-preservation makes it hard not to worry more than I already do.”

I bit my lip, suddenly overwhelmed with a new emotion. Affection. Leaning into James, I rest my head on his shoulder and wrapped and arm around him. He automatically returned the half hug and I gave him a squeeze. “Thanks, Jaimy.”

“Nutter.” He sighed.

“Asshole.” I shot back, good-naturedly. I felt him chuckle at that. He pecked a kiss on my forehead and I closed my eyes for a second, trying not to cry. We pulled apart and fell back into dinner as if nothing had happened but I knew in my heart than I’d just fallen deeper into the grave I was digging for myself. 

And sooner or later, that grave was going to bury me alive.

—-

Minerva glanced over at the young girl sitting quietly by the fireplace. A textbook laid open on her lap but her gaze was focused on the flames, a glazed look in her eyes.

As Head of Gryffindor, Minerva’s job was to know everything about her students and she was quite good at it. Every break up, every failed test, every single thing her students thought she didn’t know, she knew. Including the very unexpected fissure between Sirius Black and Sydney Rose. She would have to be blind as a bat to not see the compatibly between the two. After years of teaching, she’d seen hundreds of students pass through these halls and only a few had the kind of spark these two did.

And with 7 years of watching Sirius Black grow from the cocky but scared boy she sorted all those years ago to the cocky yet thoughtful young man in her class now, she was disappointed in how he had reverted to his playboy ways at the drop of a hat. The past few weeks had been some of the most interesting in her career, especially seeing the relationship develop between the two teenagers. Minerva was beyond curious what had happened to cause such a dramatic change in their dynamic.

Albus and Silvanus crouched over the large desk in the office, examining the sword that Sydney had summoned when she came in. Another mystery about the girl that seemed impossible. But one to ponder another time. Minerva poured two cups of tea and made her way to the fireplace. Placing one cup of the side table next to the dark haired girl, Minerva made sure to clink the cup against the saucer to announce her arrival.

Slightly startled, Sydney’s eyes fell on the cup then up towards Minerva who took a seat on the armchair across from her. Her lips quirked up in amusement. “Have you been spying on me, Professor?”

Confused, she cocked her head at her student. “Spying?”

“Lily blackmailed me into drinking tea at night instead of my usual coffee,” Sydney carefully picked up the teacup and sipped the hot liquid. “Seemed too much of a coincidence that you gave me tea.”

“Ms. Evans is a smart witch, coffee can have negative effects on your health if too much is consumed.” Minerva replied. She gave Sydney a contemplative look. “How are you, Ms. Rose? Keeping up with your work?”

“You’re really asking about Sirius, aren’t you?” She had her gaze on the teacup in her hands, running a thumb along the brim. Minerva kept silent, she forgot sometimes how observant Sydney was. With a sigh, Sydney kept her eyes down as she answered. “Remus found out. About me. Peter heard a very little bit of it, nothing important as far as I know, thank God, then ran off to tattle to Sirius. And then…”

Sydney ran a hand over her face, sighing deeply then letting out the breath slowly. Minerva heard the bitterness when Sydney said Peter’s name and could tell immediately who Sydney truly blamed for the loss of her relationship with Sirius. “Do you trust Mr. Lupin?”

“With my life.” The was no hesitation in her answer, no pause to consider if she trusted the young werewolf. “But I don’t think any of the others should know. And I’m not planning on telling him much. Just…just things I think he can handle. Knowing all of it…it hurts.”

The pain in her voice sent a twinge of protectiveness through Minerva. This young, _young_ witch held the knowledge to change the path of their world. There was no comfort that she could offer her, no assurances that everything would be alright when Sydney knew with certainty that there was a very good possibility that things would _not_ be alright. But maybe...

Minerva’s curiosity had been pestering her though for days. Knowing Sydney may not answer her, she asked the question that had been plaguing her. “Like the boy? Harry, you said his name was.”

She gave a soft smile at the professor, like she knew Minerva had been itching to ask. “Yes. Like Harry.”

“I couldn’t help but notice…he was the spitting image of Mr. Potter except for -“

“He has his mother’s eyes.” Sydney whispered, eyes going back towards the fire, lost for a moment. “You know she said to me yesterday that she pitied the woman who would marry him. That whoever married him would spend her life trying to tame his hair and their children’s hair. I would give anything, truly anything, to see that. Lily cursing at James because he gave them his hair and she had to deal with it.”

Minerva was quiet for a moment, debating her next question. When Sydney’s future self had paid her a visit years ago, she had warned her that her student’s live were in danger. The visit had been memorable. As was the girl sitting across from her. “Do you not think telling Mr. Black could help you?”

“No.” She whispered harshly, her voice breaking slightly. “He can _never_ know. I can’t…He can’t have that future. I won’t _let_ him. He has already been through so much, being in that horrible family…Knowing what may be in store for him…I couldn’t do that to him. His future is…There are worse things than dying, Professor.”

Wise words for someone so young. Minerva had had her fair share of painful things in the past and knew that what Sydney said was correct. In a way, death was easy. Living with ghosts around you was worse. “And Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans?”

“Jaimy…I don’t want Jaimy to change who he is if he knew what could happen. I want him to live his life the way he’s meant to, full of laughter and hope. Telling him would…” Sydney struggled with her thoughts for a moment, her eyebrows narrowing. “Make him not Jaimy. He would fight tooth and nail to stop it. Same thing for Lily. The two of them are so similar it’s scary. But with Lily…I’m worried she’ll figure it out on her own. Actually, I’m just waiting for that day to happen. I thought she’d confront me about it before Remus did.”

“How _did_ Mr. Lupin figure it out?” Minerva inquired with a raised eyebrow. Sydney grimaced at her look.

“I slipped up a few times. Sometimes I make pop culture references about things that haven’t happened yet. Or I make insinuations as a joke about their future or things in the present. Being around them sometimes makes me forget things like that. Especially Jaimy.” She sipped her tea then pulled her legs up to tuck under her.

“I’m surprised you and Mr. Potter have grown so close over the past month. He’s a welcoming and open person but I’ve never seen him become attached to someone as fast as he did to you. Even with Mr. Black, it took a little longer for them to become as close as they are.” Minerva remembered the trouble those two had caused the first few months after they walked through those doors. Although they walked in as though they’d know each other since birth, their brotherhood didn’t truly cement itself until two months into school. “It’s as if you’re truly family.”

Sydney smiled gently at the observation. “I’m surprised too, to be honest. Being with him just feels…natural. Like being with my sisters. I have a big family back home, 3 sisters plus my parents, my aunts, uncles, and cousins but Jaimy is…I think I’m closer with him than with my own sisters. And that feels wrong in a way. Yet…it feels so _right_. We just understand each other.”

They fell back into a comfortable silence, Albus and Silvanus still murmuring to each other across the room. Minerva stood, took both teacups, walked to the table against the far wall, poured them new cups, and rejoined Sydney at the fire. The dark haired girl hadn’t even flinched at Minerva’s movements, the fire reflecting off her new glasses. When Poppy had informed her of the incident that caused Sydney to need the spectacles, Minerva hadn’t been prepared for _how_ similar she and James Potter looked. Even when she had the pink locks, Sydney Rose was the female version of her adoptive cousin. To a point where it made Minerva question Sydney’s heritage.

Now, with the dark brown hair that was laying over her shoulders in soft waves that bordered on curls, the two could be mistaken for twins. Sydney was practically the same height as James, too. One of the taller girls in the school, she was maybe half an inch shorter than the other Potter. It _was_ impossible though for them to be truly related. Sydney wasn’t from this…timeline so to speak. Her world didn’t even have magic. A shudder went through Minerva at the thought. What a dreadful world it must be.

And yet, what a dreadful world Sydney had fallen into. A world on the brink of a full out war and she had fallen smack dab into the middle of it. Minerva took a sip of tea before asking her next question. “You never answered me, Ms. Rose. How are you doing? Truly?”

Sydney’s brown eyes met hers and Minerva could _feel_ the pain in them, her voice small when she replied. “I didn’t know I could hurt so much. Every time I think I’m fine…something else blindsides me. Reminds me of home or the future or…what could be.”

Minerva had a suspicion that the last one was really about a certain troublemaker. “The future is never set in stone, Ms. Rose. Despite what you think you know about it. Did the story about Harry ever include you?”

Sydney tilted her head at Minerva as if she’d suggested the sky was red and not blue. “Of course not.”

“Then why let possibilities hurt you? We do not blindly follow Fate, we make our owns paths in life. And if it is truly meant to be, your intervention will change nothing.” Minerva looked over her glasses and held Sydney’s gaze with a deep seriousness. “I do not believe that to be the case. Since your presence has already changed the future you are trying to stop.”

The girl’s eyes narrowed, a confused look in her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“The basilisk.” Sydney’s eyes widen at the realization Minerva had already made. “You seemed to know a lot of information about the creature which leads me to believe it _was_ an important part of this future. _You_ killed it just the other day. Therefore, the future has already changed drastically. Do not lose hope that the future will change, Ms. Rose. You’re more powerful than you think you are.”

“Thank you, Professor.” She whispered, averting her gaze back to the fire. But not before Minerva saw the glint of a tear in her eye.

Minerva leaned over and patted Sydney’s forearm. “Head to bed, Ms. Rose. I expect you to at least try and stay awake in my class tomorrow.”

A laugh escaped from Sydney causing Minerva to smile. “I’ll do my best. Night, Professor.”

“Goodnight, Sydney.” She replied, watching her student gather her things and companion. Before stepping around her chair, Sydney paused and looked at her teacher’s face.

“Thank you. Really. Being here…away from my family,” She paused and bit her trembling lip, looking down for a moment before meeting Minerva’s gaze again. “It’s hard. But you’ve made it a little easier. I don’t think you know how much it means to me. I…Thank you.”

Before Minerva could reply, Sydney swept out of the room with her dog on her heels. She wasn’t sure how long she stared at the door Sydney had disappeared through but was startled when a handkerchief appeared in her view. Looking up, she found Albus with his lips quirked to the side. “Our Ms. Rose has a way of creeping into our hearts, doesn’t she?”

Minerva touched her cheeks, surprised to feel the wetness there. Gently taking the handkerchief, she wiped her face with as much dignity as she could. With one more glance at the door, Minerva sighed. “That she does.”

—-

My fingers trailed along the stone wall next to me, feeling every groove which ground me in a way. Tux trotted by my side as we headed back to the common room. About halfway there, I just…stopped.

Maybe McGonagall was right. I mean she _was_ right. Last week, I had torn apart the entire plot line of _The Chamber of Secrets_. Destroyed a massive part of the story. But…

I just knew it wasn’t enough. In my gut, I _knew_ I had to stop Voldemort. Just because the basilisk was dead, he could find different ways to terrorize the students here. He’d find a way to take over the wizarding world and reshape it into his vision.

I needed to focus on the things I _had_ changed. The basilisk, Alphard Black, just _being_ here. My letter had said _‘Things change’_. Could they change enough that my new family would be safe?

That’s what they were now. My family. Jaimy, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Marlene, Alice, Emmeline, McGonagall. They were _family_. I could never include Peter in that though. Even knowing things could change, there was something… _wrong_ about him. I tried to be nice to him too, like the other night when he gave me the disgusting coffee.

I _hated_ cinnamon. My sisters, Jessa, had gone through a cinnamon phase and made a connection of cinnamon, protein powder, and riced cauliflower then microwaved it. _Every day_. The smell of it actually made me want to vomit. Funny enough, I still liked cinnamon rolls and cookies with cinnamon but…there were just certain things with cinnamon that caused me to gag. Like coffee.

Not that Peter could've known that. Which was why I was forced myself to drink the gross drink.

Still. I couldn’t describe the feeling I had when Peter was around. My gut was repulsed by him. I’d had the feeling once before and therefore trusted that feeling. A shiver went through me, thinking about that. Shoving the memory away, I stood and continued my way back. Tux rejoined me after inspecting the hallway while I’d mentally broke down a bit.

My hand went back to the stone wall, comforted by the solidness of it. The people here, the dangers I faced, all of it could be explained away as a psychotic break by some psychologist if this truly was all in my head but this wall, this stone under my fingers was _real_. And I needed all the realness I could get right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not crying, you’re crying. Professor McGonagall is by far my favorite professor. Yes, I love Remus but _McGonagall_. She is just incredible and I can’t wait to develop her relationship with Sydney. I have a part written WAYYY in the future for this story about the two of them and its just…ugh, I am unbelievable excited about it.
> 
> Also JAIMY. I love him and his dumb overprotective self to pieces. Ugh.
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos, comments, and love. I kid you not, I was screaming at the comments bc I was so excited. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	25. Take Me Down

I managed to stay awake through all of Minnie’s class. By some miracle. The ghosts of my nightmare last night kept creeping in and I’m pretty sure it was the only thing keeping me awake.

_Severus stumbled past James - Jaimy - towards the crying child. Clutching onto the doorframe, he stared down at the empty eyes of Lily Evans…_

Their eyes. Empty. Lily and James. Lying where they died. It must have been from talking about Harry’s eyes yesterday that triggered the nightmare. All morning, my breath stopped for a moment when either of their gazes met mine. Full of _life_.

I had to keep a mantra in my head to stop myself from crying. _Basilisk, Alphard, me._ Things that _have_ changed. The basilisk may be my biggest fixation when it came to thinking about how I could change things. And if I could keep going, get all the horcruxes, destroy the Hallows -

“Syd?” A gentle poke in my ribs startled me, my eyes shooting towards emerald green ones and once again, my breath froze. Those green eyes turned concerned as they watched me. “You ok?”

“Fine,” I muttered, realizing the rest of the room was walking out already. Shaking my head, I quickly packed my things and followed Lily out. She still watched me cautiously and I wasn’t sure if it was because of me zoning out or if she was still concerned about Sirius. “Really, I’m fine. Just tired.”

She raised one red eyebrow in disbelief. The others had headed out, leaving Lily and I to stroll to lunch almost alone. Other students were wandering around but no one was close enough to hear us. I was thankful that Jaimy and Remus had backed off a bit. They still shot glances back towards us but I felt like I could breathe again. At least until Lily spoke.

“I’m surprised you haven’t punched Jade.” She paused, waiting to see if I’d respond. When I didn’t, she continued. “Or Sirius, for that matter.”

“Sirius can do what he wants, Lils. I’m not his keeper or his girlfriend.” I grumbled, hating the direction of this conversation. Then again, if I didn’t talk about this all at some point, she’d probably corner me later.

“You _are_ his mate though.” She looked around furtively as she whispered this to me, making sure no one was nearby.

“Dogs don’t mate.” I argued, a phantom twinge going through my shoulder. The wound had healed up quicker than I thought it would thanks to Lily lathering me with potions every chance she could get. One of the teeth marks on the far part of my shoulder had already scarred, a pearl white against the pink skin. “If he wants to date someone, he has every right to.”

Lily hummed in disagreement. We made it through one hallway without speaking before she brought up a different part of that issue. “So what _did_ happen the other night?”

I sighed, somewhat exasperated. Not at Lily. I had just hoped Remus or James had explained it to her so I didn’t have to. Sticking to my _idiotic_ excuse, I quickly explained a slightly altered version of the event. 

Lily stopped in the middle of the hallway and I took a few steps ahead of her before I realized she was staring at me with her mouth open. “You - you - you _liar_.”

My own mouth dropped in disbelief. She couldn’t know that. She _couldn’t_. “What?”

“You’re _in love_ with Sirius! There’s no way, even for a second, you had feelings towards Remus! I don’t understand why Peter would just - just assume you would snog Remus but there’s in _no way_ \- I would’ve _seen_ it if you liked him!” I was causing Lily to stutter. Uh oh.

“I’m not in love with anyone, Lily.” Deny, deny, deny. Sooner or later it would be true. It _had_ to be. “Yes, I like - _liked_ Sirius but love is a little extreme. And like I said, I was confused for a moment.”

“But -“

“I really would rather not talk about it, ok?” I started walking towards the Hall and heard her scramble to catch up. “It’s done, it happened. Sirius hates me, let’s just move on.”

Her hand gripped my forearm and pulled me to a stop, spinning me around to face her. “I know you’re lying to me.” I opened my mouth to protest but she glared so hard, I clammed right up. “I don’t know why you would but you are. I’ll drop it but just know that you’re only hurting Sirius and yourself. When you want to stop avoiding the inevitable, you know where to find me.”

I tried to reply to her but she stomped off down the hall, leaving me alone. I kicked the stone wall next to me angrily. “Shit.”

“Keep it up and Filch will make you scrub off any marks you make on the stone.” A cocky voice said behind me. I spun around to find Regulus Black leaning casually against the wall.

I couldn’t catch a break.

My eyes narrowed at him, half of me worried that he overheard us and half of me concerned over his presence at all. “What do you want?”

“Are you always this charming? It’s quite endearing. I can see why my brother is so obsessed with you.” His mouth quirked up to the side as I flinched slightly. Fuck him.

“I’m not in the mood to trade quips right now.” I crossed my arms, my hip tilting to the side. “Did you have a reason for creeping on me or is that how you normally act? Because I gotta say, the stalker thing is a real turn-off.”

Regulus chuckled, pushing himself off the wall. He took a few steps closer to me, looking down haughtily. I couldn’t help but notice he was thinner than Sirius. Their faces were eerily similar but body-wise, Regulus was closer to Remus’ stature than Sirius’. “Just wanted to see how my brother’s latest tragedy is doing. You’re holding up _much_ better than any of his past girls. Typically, they’re weeping in the halls, cursing his name, and eating all the chocolate in sight. _You_ , on the other hand, are walking around as if nothing happened.”

“Because nothing did.” I raised an eyebrow at him challengingly. His gray eyes sparkled at the look. “I wasn’t his _girl_ -“ I spat the word, disgusted at the insinuation that Sirius owned me. “So there’s no reason for me to mope around. Too bad, you won’t have anything to gossip about it with your knitting club.”

I spun away from him and made my way towards the Hall. Within seconds, he fell in step beside me. The action sent a pang through my chest. It was too close to how Sirius would walk with me. My nerves were too raw as it was and him being here, being this close, was too much.

“ _Why_ are you following me?” I snapped at him, not breaking my stride.

He leaned in close, not close enough for me to feel his breath but still too close for comfort. “It’s lunch time. _Everyone_ is headed this way. Unless you know a secret passage to get to the Hall?”

I huffed, annoyed at his logical explanation. We were silent as we strode through the halls, passing a few students who stared at us without shame then began whispering to each other. I watched as one young Ravenclaw girl sped ahead of us and knew she was going to spread the gossip like wildfire. I shot another glare at the boy next to me who just winked back. Dickbag.

“You’re welcome.” He said when I turned my head forward, not wanting to look at him anymore.

“For what?” I asked in a flat tone, refusing to make eye contact.

I could practically feel him gloating. “For helping you piss off Sirius more. You acting like nothing happened is probably annoying the shite out of him but you walking around with _me_? Well, that’s just icing on the cake.”

Clenching my teeth in frustration, I spun on him just a few feet away from the Hall. No one in the actual Hall could see us but a few students were lingering in the doorway and watched us with fascination. “I’m _not_ trying to piss off Sirius. And I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t make this worse. I know you and Sirius have your issues but don’t drag me into them.”

I turned away before he could respond and stormed through the entry way. I only took a few steps in when his stupid voice practically echoed through the Hall. “Too late for that, Rose.”

My feet spun me around without conscious thought to see him sauntering towards his table with a smirk. If looks could actually kill, that idiot would’ve been dead in a heartbeat. Taking a deep breath, I pressed my lips together as hard as I could and silently joined my housemates. I kept my eyes on my plate the entire meal but could _feel_ the anger radiating from Sirius even with two people between us.

I was going to _murder_ Regulus Black.

—-

Lily still wasn’t talking to me by the time we sat down for Defense. She wasn’t wrong, I _was_ lying to her. But after my nightmare last night, the _thought_ of telling her anything about the future - a shudder went down my spine. No one should know when they’re going to die.

Brogan began his lecture immediately. We’d moved on from basic spells towards more intermediate ones. I couldn’t argue with him going over all levels of spells. The students around me had had _six_ previous teachers over the years so their education was a little spotty when it came to Defense. The problem was, I _could_ argue with him on something. And I was itching for a fight.

It’s the only explanation for how _stupid_ I was.

“Magic is our greatest strength which is why we will always triumph over a Muggle in a fight.” Brogan said with his smooth voice.

Too bad that smoothness didn’t work on me. “So you’re saying, if I walked up and punched you in the face right now, you’d _win_ that fight?”

A collective gasp went through the room, even from the Slytherins. Brogan turned a cold stare on me but I was too pissed to care. “ _Excuse_ me, Ms. Rose?”

“You heard me.” I leaned back in my chair, refusing to break from his gaze. James muttered for me to shut it.

Brogan decided to humor me. He crossed his arms and leaned against his desk, continuing our stare off. “Yes, Ms. Rose. I _would_ still win that fight. Even without my wand to take you down, I’m twice your size.”

“So?” There was flicker of something on his face but before I could figure out what it was, he schooled his look into one of annoyance. “My dad’s got at least 30 pounds on you and I’ve flipped him over my shoulder.”

True story. Todd works at our local dojo and taught Emmy and I self defense. We worked with men of different sizes to learn how to incapacitate them long enough to get away. My dad thought it would be funny to help out and regretted it when I flipped him on his ass. My mom couldn’t stop laughing for a half hour straight.

Brogan shot an eyebrow up in disbelief, his gaze roaming up and down my body as if gauging the truth of my statement. He brushed off my claim and tried to validate his point. “Regardless, our skills make us superior to those without magic -“

“Says who? There’s no proof of that.” I interrupted. I wasn’t versed in all things to do with wizards but I _knew_ this wasn’t true. “Is there genetic testing that _proves_ a wizard or witch is better than a muggle?”

“Genetic testing, Ms. Rose?” He asked with disdain.

“There’s nothing to prove we have anything over muggles. Genetics determine our hair color, how tall we’ll be, our addictions, our allergies, any disease we may get, everything. If anything, the gene that makes us wizards could be a defect.” And then, because I am _truly_ an idiot, I threw in one more tidbit. “There’s also one that will determine if you’re a jackass. Looks like you’ve got that one.”

His eyes narrowed dangerously. “Detention, Ms. Rose.”

“For what?!” I threw my hands up in frustration. How could he just _insult_ Muggles in the middle of class when there was one _sitting right in front of him_?! “Being a witch or wizard doesn’t make you _better_ , if anything it’s a crutch! Wizards rely too heavily on magic, Muggles learn to adapt and use what they can. _We_ just wave a wand and it’s _magically_ all fixed. If it comes down to it, the only way magic will _help_ is if you can do wandless magic. You want to teach us to truly defend ourselves? Teach us _that_.”

A pin could’ve dropped and it would’ve echoed through the room. The silence was _stifling_. Brogan glared daggers at me as I tried to calm my breath. He slowly prowled down the aisle until he came to a stop next to me, never breaking eye contact. He leaned down so we were eye level with each other, his icy blue eyes boring into mine and his hands planted on my desk. He spoke in a voice low enough that it would be difficult for even James to hear him. “When you can _prove_ to me that you’re capable of handling a wand _then_ I will teach wandless magic. Until then, you will _shut_ your mouth and listen to what I teach you or I will give you detentions until you _can’t_ yap your silly little opinions in _my_ classroom. Is that understood, Ms. Rose?”

I pressed my lips together, glaring right back at him. He moved an inch closer, growling loud enough that now everyone could hear him. “Is that _understood_ , Ms. Rose?”

“Yes.” I spat angrily, vibrating with rage. He slowly stood and narrowed his eyes further at me, hearing the defiance in my yes.

“I will see you for detention the rest of the week, Ms. Rose. And _no_ -“ My mouth was open, ready to protest due to my meeting later. “You cannot reschedule. Professor McGonagall will get you _after_ your detention with me. After dinner, you will report _here_. Now, get the hell out of my classroom before I give you detention for the rest of the month.”

Grabbing my things, I threw my bag over my shoulder and stormed out of the classroom, refusing to look at any of my friends. I slammed the door as hard as I could, satisfied with the loud boom it made.

—-

Hours later, I wiped the sweaty hair off my face and managed to smear what I hoped was dirt on my forehead. I’d been sent to the _stables_ to muck out the shit. _Literally_. I didn’t even know Hogwarts _had_ stables. Although the Hippogriff and Thestral herds roamed around the forest, the grounds had two stables available for the animals to take shelter. I was currently in the Hippogriff one and regretting my actions earlier. Huffing, I shoved my shovel under the pile of hay and flung it into the wheelbarrow. 

I couldn’t help but think about my conversation with Jaimy after he got to the common room.

The portrait door had slammed so hard that the frames on the wall shook. Jaimy stomped over to my spot in an armchair and started reaming me out immediately. “Have you _actually_ lost your mind?! I know you don’t like Brogan but he is a _professor_. You can’t threaten to _punch_ him!”

I jumped up, getting right back in his face, my textbook falling to the floor. I vaguely heard my housemates entering quietly but didn’t stop myself from yelling. “He _insulted_ Muggles, James! In front of an _entire classroom_. He does it _constantly_ and _no one_ says a God damn word! I don’t give a flying _fuck_ who he is! He has absolutely _no right_ to talk like that!”

“He can have his own opinions!” James yelled back, flinging his arm out. “Their _wrong_ opinions but you can’t _punch_ him until he stops having them! You think I want to just _sit there_ while he offends Lily? Remus’ mum? _Your_ dad? I haven’t even _met_ your dad and I want to wring Brogan’s neck! That doesn’t mean I’m _going to_. If you keep it up, he’s going to put you in detention until you’re _90_.”

“Maybe you should wring his neck! Do _something_! He’s a piece of absolute _shit_ and I refuse to be _quiet_ about it! He shouldn’t even _be_ a professor! I don’t _care_ how many detentions he gives me, James! Being a Muggle is _not a flaw_.” I roared at him, my arms shaking from my misdirected anger. “He needs _someone_ to call him out on his bullshit, to know _he can’t get away with it_. Because being quiet just lets him keep going!”

“And he will _keep doing it_ , Syd!” James argued back, running his hands roughly through his hair. “He’s the one that will that fight, _not you_. I know you think you can’t take on every person who looks at you the wrong way but _you can’t_ , alright? He will _not change_ no matter how much you argue with him! You think I haven’t seen people like him before? Syd, I _grew up_ with people like him. Sirius’ whole fucked up _family_ is like Brogan! He is set in his ways and _nothing you say will change it_. For _once_ in your Godric damn life, _let it go_! Have _some_ speck of self preservation! It’s bad enough you _barely sleep_ but now on top of training, you’re trying to run yourself into the ground by adding in detention?! Don’t pick a battle _you aren’t going to win_.”

I swallowed hard, tears pricking my eyes. Pressing my lips together, I took a second to let his words sink in. He was right. Fuck him but he was right. Two hands suddenly held my face and forced me to look into my own eyes. I hadn’t realized Jaimy and I had the _same eyes_. It was impossible not to see it right then though. He gazed at me intensely. “ _Please_ just let it go. I _know_ how awful he is, I do but I _can’t_ watch you do that again. It was _terrifying_ seeing him look at you like that. You didn’t see it, you were too angry but Syd…Merlin, I thought he was going to hit you. For _my_ sake…don’t do that again.”

The way he looked at me, I could _see_ his worry. As if it were a tangible thing. I _hadn’t_ seen that in Brogan, I was too fixated on arguing with the man. But if Jaimy was _this_ scared for me…I had to listen to him. _For_ him. Because the time Brogan stuck me in detention was time taken away from me saving Jaimy. Jaimy was more important than telling Brogan to shove his opinions up his ass. I nodded, his hands still on my face. “Ok.”

Jaimy’s hands left my cheeks to pull me into a tight hug. I clung to him, letting a few tears escape to soak into his sweater. I _could not_ lose Jaimy. I _couldn’t_. I was scared I’d never recover if I lost him.

A squawk pulled me out of my thoughts. I spun to see a large feathered head peeking around the stable door. Frantically, I tried to recall Hagrid’s Hippogriff lesson from Harry Potter. Bow, I had to bow. Dropping the shovel, I threw my upper body down low and held my breath, waiting to see what it would do.

After a few moments of observing me, the creature bowed, one leg tilted behind the other. Slowly, I straightened up as it pranced towards me. I held my hand out and it immediately nestled its face against my palm. Smiling, I murmured softly to it. “And who are you?”

“Buckbeak.” I jumped at the gravelly voice. Kettleburn was leaning against the doorway watching us. He smirked as Buckbeak leaned in for another scratch. “His name is Buckbeak. Bit of a wild one, he is. I’m surprised he came to investigate.”

Now _this_ was too weird. Of all the Hippogriffs to walk in here…

Kettleburn threw me a small rat which I caught easily. Gross but Buckbeak snatched it from my hand with enthusiasm. “How old is he?”

“5 years old. Just reached his full size.” Kettleburn gestured for me to follow him. “I’m here to save you from detention. Brogan wanted to keep you in here another hour but Albus put his foot down. You’ll be mucking this sty the rest of the week so one hour won’t make a difference.”

He limped off, not waiting for me. I gave Buckbeak one more scratch on his gray feathers then went to catch up with Kettleburn. I glanced over my shoulder once more to see Buckbeak watching me. I couldn’t _wait_ to see him tomorrow.

—-

Maybe detention was good for me, looking at my watch which read 6:30am. I stretched, popping out a few kinks. I was actually awake before Lily. Last night’s nightmare had been…interesting. It wasn’t one that I’d ever seen or experienced, it was purely a production of my subconscious.

_White, decayed hands clawed out to grasp the pebbly ground, pulling bodies with hanging flesh and milky eyes out of the depths. A dark hair boy stared into the face of one, too far in a hallucination to grasp what was about to happen to him. Hands grasped the boy’s limbs and dragged him into the water, swifter than anything dead should move. The boy didn’t even scream as the last of the air left his lungs._

I’d woken up in a cold sweat over the Regulus dream. There was no denying who the boy was. Luckily, I was too exhausted to get out of bed and ended up falling back asleep quickly.

Creeping out of bed, I slid under Lily’s covers and tucked myself against her. Sleepily, she hummed in a questioning tone. Quietly, I whispered. “Are you still mad at me?”

“Are you still going to lie to me?” She murmured, pulling the covers up to our shoulders.

Biting my lip, I debating what to tell her. Not the truth. I still hadn’t _really_ discussed things with Remus and telling her would be too much. Sighing, I went for the most truth I could. “I freaked. About Sirius.” Not a lie. I _did_ spaz about Sirius. Just about him finding out about me not about - “I’ve never - ugh - I’ve never been in love, ok?” Also true. “I spazzed and Remus was comforting me.” Truth. “Peter took it the wrong way and when they all came in, I panicked. I just blurted out the liking Remus thing to Jaimy and when I told you yesterday, I was sticking to my story.” All true. “I’m sorry for lying.”

My sorry was the truest part. I _was_ sorry for lying to her. I hated it but I wanted to protect her more so I lied. She blinked her eyes open to study me silently. I waited patiently, worried about her response. She squinted slightly. “I’ll forgive you… _if_ you tell me what is going on with Regulus.”

I groaned softly, burying my face into her pillow. She poked me gently in the ribs, forcing me to look back at her expectant face. “I don’t know. _Really_. You stormed off yesterday and he was just _there_. He followed me to the Hall and -“ I frowned thinking about the younger Black brother. “He wanted to see how the newest ‘tragedy’ was doing. Honestly, he was being an ass but not…not really. Not in a cruel way. He seemed like he truly just wanted to mess with Sirius.”

Lily quirked her lips to the side in thought. “And the ‘too late’ part?”

“I told him not to drag me between him and Sirius.” I sighed deeply, turning onto my back and putting my hands over my face. “Why _me_? What shitty thing did I ever do in a past life to deserve this?”

She giggled next to me and I shot a half hearted glare at her. Shaking her head, she leaned up and propped her head against her hand. “It’s just funny. I thought James and I were bad, yelling and hexing each other all the time. But you…Merlin, Syd, you just -“ She made a psssh sound and mimed an explosion. “It’s like watching a train wreck on top of three more train wrecks.”

I raised an unamused eyebrow at her. “You’re not helping.”

“Wasn’t trying to.” She grinned evilly. Lily let out a sigh and plopped back onto her pillow, turning so she faced me. “It’ll work out. Sooner or later, it will. I’ve known him for seven years and he might be his own kind of train wreck but he’s not an idiot. He loves you, too.”

“Please don’t say that.” I whispered, trying my best not to let my voice break. “I…I’d rather believe he hates me than know that he loves me yet does _this_. It hurts, Lils.”

“Sorry.” She muttered, pulling me closer to her then resting her head on my shoulder. “But it’s the truth. Like I said, he’s his own kind of train wreck. His just involves stuck up, selfish bimbos in the wreck.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped when I thought of Jade. “She doesn’t like _dogs_. Sirius really knows how to pick ‘em.”

“I just hope he pulls his head out of his ass before we have to deal with a new one. Trust me, Jade is _not_ the worst we’ve seen.” The annoyance in Lily’s voice made me smile.

We fell silent, laying there cocooned on her bed. I played with the end of her hair, letting my mind be silent for a change. I shoved all thoughts out, intent on being here with her and not thinking about the future or Sirius or home. It was comforting. All too soon, we were going to have to drag ourselves out to get ready for class but for the moment…for the moment, I just enjoyed laying here with my best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 in a week? I'm obsessed with writing this story.
> 
> REGGGGGG you little shit. Lol
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos, comments, and love. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	26. No Excuses

I walked into Muggle Studies that afternoon and almost had to restrain myself from launching across the room to _rip_ that smug bitch’s face off. Taking my seat at the table wasn’t enough for her, she had to take my _class_ seat. 

I had been dreading the thought of going to Muggle Studies alone all morning and had prepped myself for it. But this…

Neither turned around but I could tell by the set of Sirius’ shoulders that he felt me walk in. Quickly scanning the room, I found the only seat available next to Xeno Lovegood. Giving him a charming smile, I asked, “Can I sit next to you?”

The pale haired boy looked up at me with a slightly glazed look. “Of course.”

“Thanks.” I slipped behind his chair and took the seat, noticing several of our classmates whispered to each other. One particular name reached me though and I couldn’t help the flinch that went through me. _Marauders’ Whore_. Biting my lip, I dug around my bag looking for my textbook. After a moment, I sighed in frustration and muttered to myself. “Could’ve sworn I had it in here.”

“Probably the nargles. Mr. Filtch should really take care of that mistletoe by your tower.” Xeno said quietly.

“God damn nargles need to stay out of my things or I’ll burn that stupid mistletoe.” I huffed in annoyance. Xeno tilted his head curiously at me. “What?”

“You know about nargles?” He seemed surprised but it was hard to tell. His face didn’t betray much emotion.

“I -“

“Quiet down, you lot.” Quirrell interrupted my response. Thank God, too. I wasn’t exactly sure _what_ my response was going to be. With a wave of his wand, a large picture unfurled on the blackboard to reveal… _yes_. “Automoblies. Also known as cars. These Muggle inventions were once only obtainable by wealthy Muggles but now are as common as brooms in the Muggle world. Can anyone tell me what they are powered by? Mr. Longbottom?”

“Uh, electricity?” Frank hadn’t raised his hand and look a little flustered to be called on.

“Not electricity, Mr. Longbottom. Anyone else?” Quirrell asked the room. 

Sirius lazily raised his hand and Quirrell pointed at him to answer. “Gasoline.”

“Excellent, Mr. Black. Gasoline is what makes these inventions run.” Quirrell pacing at the front of the room as he went into a deeper explanation on cars. It was interesting to hear him teach, he was pretty knowledgable and his information was accurate until - 

I raised my hand up and interrupted the professor before he could continue. “Actually, Professor, the coolant helps distribute heat so the engine doesn’t overheat.”

Quirrell froze, looking a little off balanced. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he frowned. “Ms. Rose, why are you not in your seat?”

“Because it was taken by the time I came into class.” I replied, not looking over at the culprit. No way was I going to get into trouble for this.

The professor turned his attention to my actual seat. “Ms. Barrett, is there a reason you decided that you were allowed to play musical chairs in my room?”

Oh _damn_. I wasn’t expecting Quirrell to call Jade out like that but I had to admit, it was _awesome_. Jade flipped her hair over her shoulder before responding. “It was just so _drafty_ over there, Professor Q! I am so worried I’ll get a cold if I keep sitting in that spot and I would _hate_ to miss out on any of your _interesting_ lessons.”

Quirrell did _not_ look amused. I think I knew why too. It was subtle but Quirrell had some OCD tendencies that I’d noticed throughout class. Everything on his desk was orderly, when we stacked homework there he _immediately_ straightened the papers so they were lined up perfectly, _and_ he always tapped the desk twice before beginning his lectures or when he was irritated. Jade being in the wrong spot was bound to mess with his idea of how his room was supposed to be.

“Start bringing a jumper then, Ms. Barrett. Back to your _original_ seats, Ms. Rose and Ms. Barrett.” Quirrell instructed, tapping two fingers against the wooden desk twice.

I went to grab my bag when Jade opened up her mouth again. “I’m fine here, professor. _Rose_ seems perfectly content over there, too.”

“It was not a _suggestion_ , Ms. Barrett. I assign these seats at the beginning of the year and they do not change for _any_ reason.” His fingers tapped the desk once again, indicating his irritation. “Unless you’d like to spend a detention cleaning every chair in this room?”

Jade pouted, roughly gathering her things. As we passed each other across the aisle, her shoulder slammed hard into mine, almost causing me to stumble. _Bitch_. Glaring over my shoulder, I reclaimed my seat and tried my best not to look to my right.

Quirrell, clearly satisfied with our seating arrangements, turned his attention back to me. “You were saying, Ms. Rose?”

“Cars need the coolant to distribute the heat that the engine creates.” My dad, being a mechanic, is a stickler for maintaining a well running car. Hours spent learning how to take an engine apart and put it back together again were soundtracked to lessons on the most influential cars in history. “If the heat isn’t transferred properly, it can cause the engine to malfunction or melt.”

“You know about cars, Ms. Rose?” Quirrell asked, looking excited at the prospect of picking my brain.

“I can an engine apart and put it back in -“ I thought about the last one I’d worked on by myself. “About a day. Depends on which car.”

“Favorite car, Ms. Rose?”

“Jeep Wrangler, all of the Shelbys, and the 1967 Chevy Impala.” I smirked in amusement. That last one was due to a certain show I loved just as much as Harry Potter.

“Well, I appreciate the correction.” He gave me a respectful smile and then continued on with the lesson. A snort next to my right distracted me from it though.

I glared over at the dark haired boy. “What?”

“Showoff.” He muttered, keeping his eyes on Quirrell.

“Dickbag.” I shot back quietly, my anger creeping back in. It had been touch and go all day. One second I was fine and then a little comment like that had a wave of rage washing over me which I tried to shove down as much as I could. It still came out in awful names and glaring but it was better than the alternative.

So I clung to my anger because it was easier than letting those _other_ feelings consume me.

Even thinking that made me want to scoff at the drama of it. I couldn’t help it though. My argument with Brogan and my fight with Jaimy the day before were results of my anger towards _Sirius_ manifesting onto anyone who would fight back with me.

It’s not healthy. I’m very aware of this.

Doesn’t mean I’m going to listen to the smart part of my brain. Especially when _someone_ thought it would be a good idea to provoke me.

“You can’t even help yourself, can you?” Sirius asked, continuing on as if I’d already answered him. His tone becoming mocking as he whispered loud enough for only me to hear. “Sydney Rose, knows everything about Muggles and everything about everything else. Like how to get into every bloke’s pants including my best mate’s and my brother’s.”

My jaw _dropped_ at the words. Who the hell was this person sitting next to me? This wasn’t the boy I’d been getting to know over the past few weeks, the boy I’d been falling so hard for. This was…I didn’t _know_ this person. I could brush off the showoff comment and the know-it-all comment but to accuse me of _sleeping_ with Remus and Regulus? In the middle of _class_?

I hold _no_ responsibility for my actions.

“ _FUCK!_ ” Sirius’ voice echoed through the room, interrupting Quirrell’s lesson abruptly. The dark haired boy was on the floor clutching his nose, blood seeping under his palms to drip down his chin.

I didn’t wait for the detention that Quirrell was going to assign me. Throwing on my bag, I shoved my chair against the desk and stormed out of the room, yelling over my shoulder. “Go to hell, _Black_.”

—-

I ended up going to the stables after throwing my bag in my room and grabbing Tux. Might as well just give myself detention at this point. When I arrived, the stables were empty. Not a soul was around and I let out a relieved sigh. I was about 5 hours early for detention but I couldn’t think of a better place to be alone for the rest of the afternoon. Tux went off to investigate, staying within sight, and I sat on a bale of hay trying to gather my thoughts.

What was _happening_? Within days, _three days_ , everything I thought I knew about Sirius was shredded into pieces. Every moment, every smile, every time I thought we had connected…was it all a lie? Had I made it up? Because the person who just claimed I’d been sleeping around was not _my_ Sirius. It couldn’t be.

I rested my elbows against my thighs, my hands holding my head up under my chin. All I wanted at that moment was to close my eyes and sleep as long as humanly possible. Sighing, I picked myself up and began to work on the stalls, knowing if I did shut my eyes, I probably would have another nightmare.

Shoveling was…therapeutic. I fell into a rhythm: shovel under the hay, lift using my legs, dump into the wheelbarrow, repeat. Once the wheelbarrow was full, I rolled it out to a pile on the side of the building to start composting. I didn’t stop for a break until the last stall had been cleaned. Dumping the last of the hay outside, I wiped the sweat off my forehead and looked around.

It was twilight. The shadows longer but light still peeked out from the distance. Tux was curled up by the stack of hay inside the doorway to the stables fast asleep. Checking my watch, I saw it was 7pm.

Jesus, I’d spent _hours_ out here. Every part of my body was sore, especially my right hand, and I could _smell_ how sweaty I was. I had about a half hour until I was supposed to meet up with the professors so I wouldn’t have time to shower. Or find the kitchens for dinner. Sighing, my stomach grumbling in protest, I put the wheelbarrow away and woke Tux up.

I hadn’t seen Buckbeak that afternoon and was slightly disappointed. Maybe Tux being there scared him off or…or maybe it was me. I didn’t know how sensitive Hippogriffs were to human emotions but Tux had a habit of sticking close to me when I wasn’t feeling well. Hopefully tomorrow he’d come back around. I made a mental note to leave Tux in the dorm room during my detention. 

We trekked back to the castle, the darkness chasing us inside. By the time we’d reached the castle doors, it was pitch black. As I crossed the entryway, I double checked the Great Hall but was disappointed to see dinner had been cleaned up and the Hall was empty. Damn.

Moments later, I pushed open the door to Dumbledore’s office and stumbled to a halt. McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Kettleburn turned to face me with varying degrees of disappointment. “Uh, lost track of time?”

“Ms. Rose, _where_ have you been?” McGonagall demanded, her Scottish brogue making it a little harsher.

Awkwardly, I rubbed my forearm and looked to the ground. “Detention. Two detentions, I guess. Figured you’d give me one for punching Sirius so I just saved you the time and did two of them.” I glanced up at the adults, blushing when my stomach growled loud enough that there was no chance of hiding it. “You were going to give me detention, right?”

McGonagall blew a huff through her nose. “Do you have a good reason for injuring Mr. Black in the middle of class? Professor Quirrell was very concerned about you, storming out of his lesson then disappearing for hours. Not to mention your cousin! Mr. Potter was tearing apart the castle looking for you. You had us worried sick.”

“S-sorry.” I bit my lip, ashamed of myself. I hadn’t thought much of it when I ran off. I’d wanted to be alone but in the back of my mind, I’d figured that if anyone _cough_ Jaimy _cough_ wanted to find me, they’d use the Map. It was odd that he hadn’t used it. Unless -

“You’re lucky Professor Kettleburn saw you down at the stables. Had it been much longer, Mr. Potter would’ve sent out search parties himself. And do not get me started on Ms. Evans and Mr. Lupin. They were only marginally better than Mr. Potter. Threatening to comb the forest to look for you!” McGongall ranted, throwing her hands up in aggravation. “As if you would be dim enough to roam the forest alone!”

I was that dim. I didn’t want to correct her because I was pretty sure it would land me in more detentions but Dumbledore gave me a knowing gaze that I looked away from. “Sorry, Professor. It won’t happen again.”

“Which part, Ms. Rose? You won’t assault Mr. Black again or you won’t run off and not tell anyone where you are again? Because I am not pleased with either of the things you did today!” She reprimanded. I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat, upset that I’d disappointed her and caused her to worry about me. I hadn’t intended to worry anyone when I hid in the stables but it seemed like I’d caused a scene by disappearing.

“Running off.” I clarified. “I don’t think I can promise not to hit Sirius again.”

A _very_ small smirk flickered across McGonagall’s face before she was once again gave me a disappointed look. “Very well. You will still need to discuss with Professor Quirrell if your self-imposed detention will suffice.”

Before I could thank her for not shoving me into detentions for the rest of my life, Dumbledore spoke and my stomach dropped further. “We need you to truly grasp the seriousness of this, Ms. Rose. With the knowledge you have, if Voldemort found out, he would do everything he could to capture you. He would pry the future from your mind and -“

“I get it.” I whispered harshly, that anger creeping back in. I was insulted that he thought I _didn’t_ get how serious this was. And that he thought I couldn’t take care of myself. “I won’t run off again, alright? I was on school grounds so I thought I’d be fine. _Clearly_ you don’t think so -“

“That is _not_ what I said, Ms. Rose.” Dumbledore said in a hard tone. “Do not put words in my mouth. Hogwarts is the safest place in the world right now but there are still those who would test our defenses. Your disappearance lead us to believe that those defenses had failed. If you need privacy like today, you will inform a professor or your housemates of your whereabouts or you will not be permitted to leave the castle.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, a little shocked he’d be so drastic over me pouting in a corner. “You can’t lock me up, Dumbledore. I might not be an adult yet but you are _not_ my guardian here. The Potters are. And only for a few more months. If I want to leave then I will. _You_ are not going to stop me.”

Dumbledore’s look turned cold. Holding his gaze, I did my best not show any weakness. His calculating eyes studied me for a few silent moments, neither of us yielding in our stare off. If he thought he could _control_ me, he had another thing coming. I was staying here because I _wanted_ to but if he was going to lock me up then I was getting the hell out of dodge. Finally, he spoke. “I am not going to imprison you, Ms. Rose. I am merely reminding you of the danger that threatens you, should Voldemort capture you. We will continue our session tomorrow night. Please go join Mr. Potter before he wears a hole in the carpet outside and get yourself something from the kitchens.”

The dismissal felt like a loss. It was a clear indicator that he was the one in charge and I was here to provide information. It didn’t sit well with me. I already questioned trusting him and this just furthered the distrust I had. What was he willing to do to win this war? I knew he would play Harry, James, and Lily like chess pieces but would he do the same to me? Dangle me in front of Voldemort then go in for the kill? Regardless of my safety?

Without another word, I turned with Tux on heels and left the office quickly. Just as Dumbledore had said, Jaimy was pacing at the bottom of the staircase, wearing a hole in the hallway carpet. “You know your face is going to get wrinkles if you keep worrying so much.”

James spun around so quickly that he stumbled for a moment. He closed the distant between us in seconds, enveloping me in a hug. Pulling back, he grasped my shoulders. “Where in Godric’s name have you _been?!_ Padfoot stole the map earlier then disappeared so I couldn’t track you. I thought LeStrange left your body in an unused classroom! You -“

“Need food.” I interrupted, giving him a tight smile. “I’m starving. Can you interrogate me in the kitchens?”

James sighed, rolling his eyes at me. “Nutter.”

“Asshole.”

—-

James studied Syd carefully across the worn wooden table in the busy kitchen. Even after dinner, the house elves were scrambling all over the place. His cousin watched them with fascination, jumping whenever one snapped in or out of the kitchens for one reason or another.

She’d reluctantly told him what Padfoot had said in class then made him swear not to bury his best mate in a ditch. That prat had the _nerve_ to suggest Syd was a slag after all the birds he’d paraded about over the years. When he’d told her that Padfoot had to have his nose realigned after Muggle Studies, she gave him a grim smile.

Syd took another spoonful of the stew, eyes roaming over the kitchen. James worried his lip as he thought about what _he’d_ said over the last few days, including the comment about Regulus and Sirius. He’d meant it as a joke but was now concerned that she’d take the insinuation seriously. He _didn’t_ think she’d shag just anyone. If anything, he believed she’d probably wait until marriage or some nonsense like that.

The problem was, she didn’t seem to realize the effect she had on blokes. On everyone, to be honest. James had always known he was good looking, only questioned it when Lily was turning him down for a date, but he’d always _known_ he could flirt his way out of a paper bag. Syd, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to the fact she turned heads.

 _Not_ that James liked her like that. A wave of disgust rolled through him at the thought. But if they were from another family, say the _Blacks_ , it wouldn’t be too far fetched. Sirius’ parents both had Black heritage which made Sirius’ bloodline twice as strong in Pureblood circles.

Even _Malfoy_ had been flirting with her. That should’ve been a big enough clue that she was at least somewhat pretty but no, she acted as though she were the most bland person on Earth. It wasn’t just the looks though, she had a magnetic personality. He’d seen it every person she’d talked to. The only people that hadn’t been affected by her were Brogan and a few Slytherins. And it mostly likely because _she_ didn’t like _them_.

His biggest concern about her being oblivious and argumentative, and what caused him to be so protective, was that he was scared that one day _someone_ would get the jump on her and she’d get hurt. He _hated_ how he yelled at her yesterday, seeing that hurt look on her face, but he needed her to grasp the fact that she wasn’t invincible. It also worried him that if someone did hurt her, hurt her in a way that she truly broke, that she wouldn’t be _her_ anymore. Padfoot’s comment earlier had caused a clear crack in her armor.

James had been thinking about Padfoot’s wildly inappropriate comment while they sat here and came to the conclusion that it was Padfoot’s insecurities that were talking for him. Years of late night conversations, drunken confessions, and patching each other up had given James a deep view into how Padfoot functioned.

Padfoot could see how other blokes reacted to her just as well as he could. What Padfoot _couldn’t_ see was why Syd would choose him. Out of all the blokes she could choose from, why him? James hated that Pads would think this about himself but he knew exactly what Pads thought. Seeing Syd standing like that with Moony the other night had given Padfoot the confirmation he’d been searching for. Thinking he wasn’t good enough was _also_ why he’d dragged his feet on asking his cousin out.

Padfoot would love Syd until the day she died but it would take a miracle for him to truly believe she could love him back. Idiot.

Syd raised an eyebrow at him, swallowing a mouthful of stew. “You’ve been staring. Still debating how to hide Sirius’ body? Cause I’ve got dibs on killing him first.”

James smirked, already knowing she’d had an entire plan to not only hide Sirius’ carcass but get away with it, too. “Nah, I wouldn’t rob you of that. He’s lucky you didn’t kill him earlier. I was just…thinking.”

“Dangerous territory for you.” He threw a roll at her head and she smacked it away, laughing. “For real though, you looked pretty out of it. What were you thinking about?”

“You.” She raised both eyebrows at him, surprised at the answer. James shook his head, taking another roll and began to tear it into pieces. “You know I love you, right?”

She squinted at him suspiciously. “Yessss. And I love you. But if you’re about to confess to being _in_ love with me, I’m going to have to shove you into the fireplace.”

He mimed throwing up before looking at her seriously. “So you know I don’t think you’d shag anything that moves, that you’re…loyal, I guess. I’m not sure the word I’m looking for.”

Syd bit her bottom lip, her eyes on her stew which she moved around with her spoon. “Are you just saying this because of the rumors?”

Shite. He’d hoped she hadn’t overheard the students in the halls. James had been glaring so fiercely at anyone who even opened their mouth around her that most students had run the other way. Moony had to physically drag him away from Roiser earlier when he’d called his cousin the Marauders’ Whore. Bastard should’ve had his teeth knocked in.

James reached across the table to grasp Syd’s empty hand. He waited until she looked up at him with her - no, _his_ eyes. Huh. He hadn’t realized their eyes were almost identical. He gazed into them, speaking as firm as he could. “No. I’m saying it because I never want you to think that I would judge you even if you _did_ shag every bloke in this school. I hope you don’t because that’s a lot of bodies I’ll need to bury but…I don’t think you would. You’re loyal, honest, and one of the best people I’ve ever known.”

“Thanks, Jaimy.” A small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. She tried to subtly wipe under her eye but James saw the tear there. Letting out a big breath, she became her annoying pain in the arse self a moment later. “But don’t worry, the guys in this school are too young. I like older men. I bet Kettleburn is a kinky -“

“AH NO! BLEH!” James ripped his hand away and clamped both of them over his ears, trying to drown her out. She laughing so hard, she practically fell off the bench. Once he was sure she wouldn’t scar him for life, he put his hands down and glared at her. “You’re a menace.”

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ menace.” She joked, winking at him. James shook his head, a twinge of affection going through him. She was going to drive him to St. Mungo’s.

—-

Breakfast the next morning was…awkward, to say the least. When I arrived, I followed Lily and Remus to their side of the table and took a spot between them. James had raised an eyebrow at the bold move but I was still pissed at Sirius and felt better having an entire table between us so I wouldn’t reach over and tackle him. Even if it _was_ his birthday.

That was another awkward thing. Everyone had decided to move past yesterday and was joking around, the birthday boy clearly excited over the party later tonight. Some students from the other houses had been invited to the Gryffindor common room including Jade and the table was bubbling with anticipation.

I’d asked Lily on the way down why they were having the party in the common room and also why she didn’t seem to have a problem with it. Being Head Girl, I’d expected her to put her foot down.

“If they’re in the common room, I can keep an eye on them.” She sighed. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for further explanation. “They get out of control if they’re left to their own devices. You’ve seen what they can do when they have an insane idea, now picture that with alcohol involved. It’s not pretty.”

I really did _not_ want to picture it. Considering what James did with the Hotter-Potter prank over a stupid conversation we had, I was a little scared to think about what he was capable of when he was drunk. “And you won’t partake in the teen drinking, Ms. Head Girl?”

She rolled her eyes at my tone. “No. It may be Sirius’ big birthday but I will be making sure none of them escape. Are you sure you’re not going to go?”

I grimaced at the question. “I can’t. McGonagall ripped me a new one last night over breaking Sirius’ nose and then disappearing. If I skip, she may just decide not to train me. I’m not risking it.”

I also didn’t _want_ to go. And not just because of Sirius. Although _that_ was a big part of it, I was actually worried about drinking. I didn’t normally drink, not because I was against it but because I didn’t trust myself when I drank. I talked a _lot_ when I started getting tipsy. To the point where I’d talk about pretty private things I normally never talked about. Not to mention, the few times I had gotten drunk in the past hadn’t been my finest moments. One instance ended with running from the cops after breaking a window.

The talking part was what worried me the most. Who knows what I’d spill without a filter on. Hell, look at what I _have_ spilled _with_ a filter. And after being told last night how dangerous it was for me to be alone, I’m pretty sure it would be worse if I told the entire Gryffindor tower that I was from the future while drunk.

Regardless, I wasn’t going to the party. If the awkwardness _now_ was uncomfortable then adding in alcohol could only end in disaster. The morning breakfast talk had an underlying tension that was palatable and made worse whenever Jade opened her mouth.

“London, could you pass the sugar?” She asked in a falsely sweet voice.

Pressing my lips together tightly, I slid the sugar bowl towards her without responding. I turned my attention back to the Prophet which Lily had let me borrow while we ate. No more break-ins but I kept reading the newspaper to stay updated on what was happening outside the castle. A girly throat clearing wormed its way into my ears and I almost bit my tongue in annoyance. Reluctantly, I looked up.

“Siri said you won’t be able to make it tonight.” Jade let a pleased smile grace her lips. “Have a big date planned?”

Remus stiffened beside me at her words as Jaimy looked warily across the table at me. Apparently _someone_ believed the rumors going around. I raised one unamused eyebrow at her before replying in a bored tone. “I have to meet McGonagall. Such a shame too, I was _so_ looking forward to spending more time with you.”

Jade’s eyes narrowed slightly. “It _is_ a shame. We should hang out and get to know each other better. That is, if you can find any free time in your schedule. I know how _busy_ you are, Brooklyn.”

The insinuation was lost on me. I opened my mouth to reply but unfortunately Remus cut me off since _Sirius_ wasn’t going to stop his girlfriend from harassing me. “Syd, I need to give Emmy a book before class. If we go now, we can catch her before Potions.”

“I think you can catch her without me, Remus.” I growled, not breaking my eye contact with the blonde across from me.

“ _Now_ , Syd.” A strong hand gripped my elbow and practically dragged me off the bench. Remus didn’t let go until we were at least a hallway away from the Hall. I muttered curses at him the entire time we walked when he finally let go. “Are you done?”

“No.” I grumbled. He gave me a pointed look, clearly done with my attitude. I threw my hands up in frustration. “What?”

“Unless you’re going to tell Sirius what actually happened the other night, I’m sorry to say this but you’re going to have to suck it up and deal with Jade or make up with Sirius.” Remus held his hand up when I opened my mouth to protest. “I know, she’s awful. What she just said was not lost on me, ok? But you _are_ the one who pretended that you asked me out, so that’s what Sirius thinks happened.” My jaw dropped open at him. I had a feeling that James must’ve told Sirius my lame excuse to try and defend me, this just confirmed that fact. He sighed before continuing. “I’m not - Merlin, Syd, I’m not saying the rumors are your fault but -“

“But it’s my fault Sirius is with that bitch?” I crossed my arms defensively. He worried his lip, uncomfortable with the conversation, and I sighed, hating that he had a point. Sirius was with Jade because I was lying about who I was. In a small voice, I tried to explain. “Remus, I _can’t_ tell Sirius. Or Jaimy, for that matter. I didn’t even want _you_ to know.”

He put up one finger. “You actually _didn’t_ tell me much. I still have questions.” He steered me towards the tower so we could drop Tux off before heading to Potions. Tux walked against my side, content to follow us wherever we went. “Like _how_ did you get here?”

I glanced around, confident we were alone but still replied as quietly as I could. “I don’t know. And neither does Dumbledore. I woke up that day, let Tux out and he ran after a cat. I chased him and next thing I knew, I was walking through the castle doors. I tried looking in the library to see if there were any books on it but that place is _huge_.”

Remus hummed his agreement then looked over at me. “I can help with that. Not sure I’ll find anything but it should be at least a little off your plate.”

We reached the portrait hole and I gave him a thankful smile. “Thanks. I’d really appreciate it. Go on in, Tux. Be good.”

Tux looked up at me with a dry glance before trotting into the Tower. I shook my head at the almost human-like faces that dog made sometimes. Remus and I made our way towards Potions and he sprung another question on me. “I really have a kid?”

I raised both eyebrows, giving him a disbelieving look. “Really? _That’s_ your second question?”

He threw both hands up in defense, smiling a bit. “Can you blame me for being curious?” Remus’ smile turned down after a moment though. “Is it…is it like me?”

“You mean, did your incredibly good looks and charming personality pass on?” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. The unamused look he shot me made me sigh. “No. You _know_ that’s not how it works. He’s - shit.”

I stopped mid-sentence and stared at Remus with wide eyes. Remus, on the other hand, looked shocked. “He? It’s a boy?”

“You’re not supposed to know that.” I said quickly, hurrying away from him.

“Syd!” He called, chasing after me. He caught up about halfway down the hall. “Syd, slow down.”

“This. _This_ is why I didn’t tell you. Or the others! It’s bad enough trying to keep everything straight in my head but you start asking about it -“ Remus pulled me to a stop. I blew a deep breath out through my nose, aggravated at myself.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try not to ask questions about that. You can’t blame me for wondering though.” He looked at our feet for a moment before meeting my gaze. “For what it’s worth…it gives me something to look forward to.”

“Rem -“ He cut me off, shaking his head.

“No, Syd. It does. I’ve spent my whole life worried about what will happen. I’ve always wanted a family, a family who accepts me for everything I am but mostly a child. Knowing I’ll get that…it means a lot.”

My heart broke a little at his words. This sweet, caring boy deserved the world and it was awful that he’d been subjected to people who judged him on something he couldn’t control. “You have a family, Remus. Us. We accept you for _everything_ you are. I just -“ I paused, pursing my lips for a second as I tried to organize my thoughts. “I don’t know for sure that the future will happen. McGonagall and I were talking about it -“

“Wait, _McGonagall_ knows about you?” His face suddenly had a lightbulb look as he pieced together more about me. “ _That’s_ what you’re training for. Not to be an Animangus but to stop the future.”

Voices grew closer to us at that moment. I pulled Remus down the hall towards Potions, keeping an eye for anyone too close. “Yes. McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Kettleburn are helping me. It’s complicated.”

“This whole thing is complicated.” He muttered as we reached the classroom. We stepped in to see a few other students sitting in their seats already. I went to mine but he cut me off in the aisle. “We’re not done with this. I have more questions.”

“Later.” I murmured, seeing Severus slip into the room. Remus threw me another pointed look then let me pass. I dropped my things at my desk and collapsed into my chair.

I really was _not_ looking forward to continuing that conversation later. The only bright side was that I could push it off until at least tomorrow. Between classes today, my detention and training, and Sirius’ party tonight, there wouldn’t be a chance to privately talk to Remus again today.

The same couldn’t be said about tomorrow though. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy September 1st! Make sure you packed all your books and got everything on your supplies list. Train leaves at 11am, see you all at the Platform 🚂
> 
> Lol the car thing I had to rewrite a few times. I want to just let everyone know, I am TERRIBLE with cars. I've actually melted an engine on one. Coolant is important. I wish I knew that _before_ there was smoke pouring out of the hood.
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos, comments, and love. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	27. Dysfunctional

I heaved the last shovel of hay into the wheelbarrow then took a moment to catch my breath. I was so _sore_ from yesterday and this wasn’t helping. I’d managed to catch Professor Quirrell after Charms and he’d luckily accepted my self-imposed detention.

“I do hope Mr. Black deserved the injury, Ms. Rose.” He’d said dryly. “I’ll be sorely disappointed in you if it was uncalled for.”

I had smiled sweetly, doing my best to convey my gratitude at no additional detentions as well as confirm my justification in punching Sirius. “Very deserved, Professor. The inappropriateness of it is too insulting to repeat in front of you.”

He raised one eyebrow at my answer but given that he’d had four years of Sirius before this, I’m pretty sure he believed me. “Very well, Ms. Rose. Please refrain from assaulting any students though until _after_ my class.”

“Yes, sir.”

I really was grateful though. Jaimy was right about running myself into the ground. Between classes, homework, ‘training’, the drama of my shitshow of a life, and now detention, I was surprised I was functioning at all. I didn’t regr- “ _Fuck_.”

My head whipped around in surprise to see a large feathered hippogriff inches from me. Rubbing my shoulder, I gave Buckbeak a wide eyed once over. I guess the whole bowing thing only mattered if they didn’t know you. Buckbeak nudged me in the shoulder with his beak again, squawking lightly.

“Sorry, bud. No treats on me.” I said to him, petting the side of his head. Lord, he was _massive_. My fingers ran through the silky soft gray and white feathers. He moved a bit closer to me, pushing his neck into my palm. Using my fingernails, I gave him a good scratch. Smiling softly, I gave one last pet then got back to work.

Lifting the wheelbarrow, I rolled it outside into the twilight. Buckbeak trotted along behind me like a puppy. As I pushed the handles of the wheelbarrow to dump the contents into the pile, his head appeared under my right arm. Little shit was nosing around looking for treats. Shaking my head, I used my left hand to move his giant head. Grudgingly, he let me and I laughed at the put out look he gave me. “I’ll ask Kettleburn where he keeps them, ok?”

Buckbeak squawked in response, seemingly satisfied with my compromise. Rustling off in the distance captured both of our attentions. Two feathered heads peaked out from bushes a few yards away. With one more nudge again my shoulder, Buckbeak left me to join his friends.

Speaking of friends, I should probably check on mine before heading to training. A wave of exhaustion went through me just thinking about heading back to the Tower. I smelled _awful_ though so I trekked back towards the dorms to rinse off, ignoring my aching muscles.

—-

James followed his cousin across the common room. He’d seen her trying to slip out quietly but the second her foot had hit the bottom stair, he’d been up and out of his seat to catch her. And proceeded to try and convince her to stay. Currently, they were blocking the portrait hole and James did his best to sway her. Despite the obvious hippogriff in the room who was on the couch. “Syd, I know you two aren’t in a good place -“

“ _That’s_ putting it lightly.” She muttered under her breath.

“But it’s his birthday. Just bail on McGonagall and come hang out with us.” James pleaded with her. She wouldn’t admit it but she needed to take a moment to wind down, she was strung tighter than Filch on April Fools’ Day. “You don’t even have to talk to him.”

Her eyes flickered over to the dog-collared boy with the blonde draped over him. Giving Jaimy a _very_ forced smile, she handed over her wrapped gifts which she’d been holding. The present table was to the side of the portrait hole, already holding a few wrapped presents, and he tried to not to flinch at her pained look before an indifferent mask settled over her face. “I don’t think he’ll notice if I’m there or not. And bail on Minnie? Jaimy, I could _never_ disappoint her. I’d loose my standing as favorite Potter.”

Syd gave him a wink before slipping out the door, faster than he could catch her. Dejectedly, he headed up the stairs to the dorm where Moony was finishing wrapping his gift. Padfoot would open everything tomorrow so the Marauders would leave the gifts at the foot of his bed. Birthday _day_ was for fun, birthday gifts could wait until the fun was over. 

The prank earlier had been part of the Marauders' gift to Padfoot, as per tradition, but physical gifts could wait. At lunch, they had slipped a skin-changing potion in the Slytherins' food. The entire house was now _green_ and Poppy had kicked every one of them out for almost rioting in the Hospital Wing when she informed them that it would fade in 12 hours.

Even Syd had smiled at that one.

Moony looked up as he walked in and gently placed Syd’s gifts next to his own. The knowing look Moony gave him made James wanted to smack Padfoot upside the head. “She left?”

“Of course she left.” James huffed, taking a seat next to Moony on his bed. “Apparently training is more important.”

“She’s taking it seriously, Prongs. And since Pads stole the Map yesterday, we couldn’t find her. You heard her, McGonagall reamed her out for going off.” Moony tied the ribbon around his gift, perfectly knotting the bow. “She might’ve skipped if we hadn’t caused a fuss.”

“You know that’s not true.” James grumbled. They _had_ thrown a fit the day before when no one had seen the dark haired girl since she broke Padfoot’s nose. “She still would’ve found a reason to skip.”

Moony raised an eyebrow at him, conveying his thoughts on James’ tone. Damn Moony. James rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up. “I know! I can’t blame her with the way Padfoot’s being acting but I’m worried about her! She’s always training with Minnie or doing homework or - or - “

“With us? Prongs, she might _like_ training. It gives her a chance to get away from us for a little.” Moony offered, trying to soothe James’ worry about her.

“You mean get away from Pads.” James mumbled, crossing his arms with a pout. “I wish they’d just talk about their feelings instead -“ James waved his arms around. “ _This_.”

“They will. Give them some time. It’s been, what? A few days?” Moony pulled his legs up and leaned against the bed post. He crossed his arms with a thoughtful look on his face. “It’s only been a week since the full moon. Not to mention your little escapade on Friday. It’s got to be a little overwhelming for Syd. I’m impressed that she’s only punched Padfoot once.”

“Bloody deserved it, too.” James grumbled. Moony’s one brow raised questioningly. James shook his head, not intending on repeating what Pads had said. “Ask her. If I say it, _I’ll_ punch Pads.”

“Syd’s rubbing off on you.” The tawny haired boy said with amusement. The amusement turned sympathetic though when the comment didn’t make his friend smile. “We’ll make sure she has fun in Hogsmeade this weekend. I pretty sure she doesn’t even realize it’s coming up.”

James squinted his eyes slightly, thinking over this bit of information. Maybe they could think of a way to prank her at Hogsmeade. Or before. Hmmm. What if -

“No.” James looked up at his favorite werewolf to see him glaring. Moony pointed at his face, similar to how Syd pointed at _them_ when they were being a little too much. And Moony said Syd was rubbing off on _him_. James scoffed under his breath. “No pranking her. She’s falling asleep in practically every class. She’s grumpy enough when she _does_ sleep. If you prank her, I am _not_ saving you when she puts you at the bottom of the Lake.”

“ _Fine_.” James pouted, disappointed that Moony had a point. Bloody smart are. “We should probably head down. This is going to the most un-Marauder-esque party we’ve ever thrown. I’m ashamed of us.”

“You wanted to impress Lily, remember? Small - well, small _ish_ party and she gets to control the attendees.” Moony smirked over at him. James wanted to smack himself in the face. What he did for that woman. “Don’t worry, you can make up for it with Syd’s party.”

James narrowed his eyes at Moony. “You know Syd’s birthday. _Spill_.”

Moony grinned gleefully, proud of himself for knowing something this important. “January 4th. Two days before we come back. Therefore -“

“We can do it at _my_ house.” James’ eyes light up excitedly. “Moony, you have just made my night.”

Moony chuckled at him, pushing himself off the bed. “Don’t tell Pads or Worm yet. You know Worm can’t keep a secret to save his life and Pads well…let’s wait a bit and see how things go.”

“Secrets, Moon-lee.” James grinned, using the ridiculous nickname that made it’s appearance at one of their parties last year. “What would Syd think of you, keeping secrets?”

An odd flash of panic flickered in Moony’s eyes. It happened so fast that James wasn’t positive he saw it when Moony slung an arm out and knocked him from the bed with a laugh. James let out an oomph as he collided with the floor. “She’d probably say she has better ones.”

—-

I spent three hours in front of the fireplace in Dumbledore’s office doing homework. McGonagall would occasionally walk over to see if I had any questions or needed help. The three of them talked in hushed tones around the Headmaster’s desk and to be honest, I could not care less about what they were discussing. I probably should and at some point I may try to eavesdrop on them but at the moment, Charms was kicking my ass. 

Around 11:30pm, I was distracted by the professors who were suddenly louder than they’d been all night. Curious, I peeked over. Dumbledore was frowning as McGonagall and Kettleburn read a letter together.

“Ms. Rose.” Dumbledore’s voice called from the far side of his desk, focusing on me sitting in the armchair. “You and I will be going somewhere tonight. Professors McGonagall and Kettleburn will be staying here.”

“Albus.” McGonagall hissed aggressively at him. She even went so far as to cut him off from walking towards me. I couldn’t see her face but the tone of her voice sent a chill through my spine. “You can’t take her _there_.”

“I can and I will, Minerva. Ms. Rose needs to truly understand what we face.” The Headmaster replied firmly.

Huh. Tux perked his head up as the professor came towards us, leaving McGonagall behind him wavering between glaring at him and looking worriedly at me. Even Kettleburn seemed a little off kilter. This was a little unexpected. I hadn’t been off the grounds except to get my supplies and when I snuck out with Jaimy, I wasn’t counting Hogsmeade since I could literally _walk_ there. Not wanting to miss the opportunity to get out of the castle though, I kept quiet. He handed a pot of green powder to me expectantly. Taking a handful, I stood patiently as he took his own. Glancing back towards McGonagall, I bit my lip at the anxiousness coming off of her.

I gave Dumbledore a hesitant look before stepping into the green flames. There was a reason he was bringing me along and after last night, I was worried what waited for me on the other side of that fireplace. My suspicious thoughts had me questioning the older wizard. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see, Ms. Rose.” He replied grimly. Knowing I wouldn’t get anything else, I stepped into the flames and yelled out the address he’d given me.

The smell hit me first when I stumbled out of the fireplace. Gagging, I moved to the side but froze. Empty brown eyes stared up at me. My breath left my lungs so fast that my vision got a little blurry. I backed up, colliding with a warm body. Jumping, I spun to see I’d bumped into Dumbledore who steadied me with a strong hand.

“Took your damn time getting here, Albus.” A gruff male voice grumbled behind us. My head whipped around to see a fair haired, grumpy man standing over a body sprawled on the couch. “Thought you’d change your mind.”

“I do have students and staff to take care of before I run off, you know.” He replied in a dry voice. Dumbledore gestured between us, “Ms. Rose, may I present -“

“Ma- sorry, Alastor Moody, right?” My eyes shot between Albus and Alastor, waiting for confirmation. The man who stood before me had two eyes and I’d _almost_ made the mistake of calling him Mad-Eye Moody but it was impossible not to realize who was standing there. “The Auror.”

Moody’s dark brown eyes narrowed on me intensely. “Aye, so you’ve heard of me?”

“You could say that.” I hedged carefully. He may be one of the most notorious Aurors but he had been overpowered by Barty Crouch Jr. and held captive for months. I eyed Dumbledore, trying to get a sense of what level Moody was on when it came to me but the Headmaster just watched us curiously.

“Can’t say the same.” His tone dismissive. Moody shuffled closer and pointed at my face, trying to intimidate me. “Don’t touch anything. Albus, this way.”

The two men walked towards a middle aged man lying on the side of the couch. They began to mutter to each other, trying to keep their voices low enough so I couldn’t hear. Fine, if they wanted their secrets, they could keep them. Looking around, my eyes found the body I’d almost stepped on when I came through.

The girl was tiny, her eyes opened wide in terror. Auburn hair spilled over the maroon carpet, almost blending into it in the dark room. Why would Dumbledore bring me _here?_ What could - The answer struck me like a blow to the gut.

He was making a _point_.

_Motherfucker._

He’d mentioned how dangerous it was and how I shouldn’t be alone. Bringing me to a _murder_ scene would be a good way to drive that point home and physically show what Voldemort and his followers were capable of. Sad thing was, I already _knew_ how sadistic they were, I didn’t need a reminder. Sighing, I looked her over to see if there really was anything I could learn since he’d brought me here.

Frowning, I knelt next to the body, my eyes zeroing in on her hands. They were _burned_. “Moody?” He shuffled over at my call. I tilted my head up and pointed at the odd injury. “Have the other ones had burns like this?”

Moody bent down to get a closer look. Carefully, respectfully, he turned the wrist over to get a better view. “A few. Not many though. Not enough to look into it. Also not sure what would make someone still their hands _into_ a fire.”

I looked back down at the girl but before my eyes landed on her, my attention was caught by a strand of long dark black curly hair on the wooden floor at the edge of the carpet. A conversation I had with Sirius surfaced.

_Merlin, my cousin Bella used to talk about how she would put the Impervious Curse on random Muggles on the street and make them hurt themselves at_ family dinners.

But why? Why would Bellatrix torture them? Was she truly that messed up or - “Who were they?”

“The Hankers.” Dumbledore answered behind us. “The mother, Anna, was an Abbott. We suspect that they were targeted because of Anna’s decision to marry a Muggle born. Voldemort’s followers aren’t fond of Purebloods who, as they would say, ‘muddy the bloodlines.’ Their purification of the world unfortunately includes the children of these marriages, like little Ava here.”

Or they were still looking for the Cloak. The Abbotts were one of the families who’s vaults had been broken into. The burned hands could’ve been a way to get them to reveal where it was. If Bellatrix had put the Impervious Curse on the little girl, forced her to mutilate herself…a shiver ran down my spine. I hadn’t even confirmed that the Cloak was the reason for the break-ins but it made sense.

Voldemort had some of his horcruxes and was still making them. He had no reason to think that anyone would suspect he was trying to split his soul. But if he had the horcruxes _and_ the Hallows, he’d be unstoppable. _If_ the Hallows did what they were supposed to do. It would be pretty ironic if after all this, they didn’t work.

I couldn’t tell them my theory though. If Dumbledore found out about the Cloak -

“Have you checked the neighboring houses?” Dumbledore asked Moody who stood up with a grunt. I kept my head down, still looking at Ava. She couldn’t be more than 8. Gently, I closed her eyes which even in death showed how scared she’d been in her last moments.

“Dead. The ones to either side of this house and the three across the street. I’ve got the twins checking on those ones now. Seems they were just collateral. The whole town is muggle, this was the only wizarding family for miles. I’m glad they stuck to this little pocket. The clean up for an entire town would be a nightmare.” Moody grumbled. He shuffled his way to the front window and peered out. A sickly green light highlighted his face. _The Dark Mark_. “Got a shield up to block that monstrosity until it fades. The rest of the Department will be here soon so I would suggest the two of you head out as soon as you can.”

Dumbledore nodded, face still grave. “Thank you, Alastor. I -“

“What’ll happen to them?” I asked, brushing the little girl’s hair behind her ear. My eyes were glued to her, I couldn’t tear myself away from her side. She was so _young_. It wasn’t _fair_. My throat felt as though something were lodged there, making it hard to swallow. She should’ve been going to Hogwarts in a few years, learning magic herself. And now - “All of them? Will it be investigated?”

Moody sighed heavily. I didn’t want to see his face because I could already tell I wouldn’t like his answer. “It’ll be blamed on carbon monoxide poisoning in the Muggle world. On our side, it’ll be reported as a murder and then shoved into a file to sit with the rest of them. I wish I had the funds to take it further but I don’t. We can only try and catch them in the act, other than that -“ He paused and I finally looked up at him. He had his hands spread, his face full of regret. “We clean up any traces of magic and continue on.”

A pang of sorrow went through me at the words. _Shoved into a file to sit with the rest of them._ How many more were there? How many lives were sitting in a file, waiting to have their murderers caught?

—-

Lily winced as James’ voice rang through the room. “DRINK!”

The Marauders were holding court around the coffee table, playing a game called truth or drink. Somehow or another, Veritaserum had gotten involved and those playing had taken small amounts of it. Not enough to spill everything, they still maintained _some_ control, but enough that if they _did_ answer the question it would be the truth. Checking the room once more to make sure no one would sneak out, she meandered towards the crowd.

“LILY!” James yelled loudly, seeing her as she perched on the arm of Remus’ chair. The Head Boy’s hair was wilder than usual and he grinned widely at her. “Play with us! It’ll be fuuuun.”

“Pass, Potter.” His face frowned slightly at her dismissive answer but quickly perked back up as he pointed at the boy next to her. “MOONY! Who would you have a threesome with?”

If Lily had been drinking, she would’ve choked at the question. Wide eyed, she looked down at Remus who she assumed would drink instead of answer. Instead, he tapped his chin in thought, swaying slightly. It seemed he’d already drank for a few rounds. “Do I have to know them?”

James nodded enthusiastically, not noticing Emmy’s Ravenclaw friend Nancy cuddling up to his side. Lily bit down on a wave of - _no_. She stopped herself from even letting that - that _feeling_ go through her. “Yes! Only people you know.”

He looked towards the fireplace where Kole was shooting what he thought were subtle glances at the girl next to him. Emmy, on the other hand, was gazing up at Remus with a doe eyed look. Lily made a mental note to make sure the young girl didn’t one, drink too much more and two, wasn’t a _sharing_ drunk. Lily couldn’t help the protectiveness towards Emmy specifically, even though she was participating in this madness. She also made a mental note to maybe steer her towards the boy closer to her age. Ideas were starting to form, when her thoughts were interrupted by the object of Emmy’s affections. Remus grinned widely, looking towards the two girls in front of the fireplace. “Mar and Dory.”

Marlene giggled, already _very_ much into her alcohol, as Dorcas rolled her eyes. “Hate to break it to you Lupin, I don’t swing that way.”

“You don’t -“ Remus pointed at the blonde in Dory’s lap. “But Mar does. There weren’t any specifics on the threesome. In my book, threesome is three people involved but they don’t have to all - Lily, what’s the word I want?”

The redhead rolled her eyes at him with a sigh. “Fornicate?”

Marlene was laughing so hard she was crying now. Remus gave Lily an amused grin and turned back to the girls, winking at Dory. “I’m a great sharer.”

“I might be persuaded.” Dory mused, taking a sip of her butterbeer. Mar gasped at the long haired girl. Dory leaned in to whisper something Lily couldn’t hear into Mar’s ear which sent her into another fit of giggles.

Smiling, Remus looked up at Lily. “Sure you don’t want to play?”

“Positive.” No way in hell she was playing when there were _this_ many drunk students in the Tower. She’d already had to wrangle a fourth year from a banner, sent the tipsy first and second years to bed, and pulled apart four different couples who had gotten a little too handsy for the common room. At least it wasn’t _too_ out of control. James and Remus had managed to keep the party pretty low-key since it was a Thursday night. Quite a few of the students would be hurting the next day but there wasn’t any dancing on tables or broken furniture. The night was still young though.

Remus leaned forward and spun a bottle to determine the next victim. It spun lazily a few times before stopping to point towards the couch.

“Alright, Jade.” The group’s attention turned towards the Hufflepuff who actually _popped_ her lips off of Sirius’ neck. Lily could already see a hickey forming there and mentally vomited. “Most awkward place you’ve shagged someone.”

Jade pouted, as though she were thinking hard about it. Her hand wandered up and down Sirius’ thigh. Oddly though, Sirius didn’t seem to notice. Or care. His eyes were heavily glazed over and he looked as though he were a million miles from here. Lily felt a slight twinge of pity for him. Only a slight twinge though. Jade finally answered after a full minute. “Honeyduke’s loo.”

Not what Lily expected. And she had to agree with Jade. It was a _very_ small and oddly shaped loo so any kind of physical activity in there would’ve been a challenge. 

A few people snickered but Jade just smirked as she leaned forward to spin the bottle. It rotated a few times before landing on Peter. Lily was actually a little concerned for the boy, he was red-faced and practically falling asleep on the table. Jade let a grin spread on her lips. “Which Professor would you sleep with?”

Mar yelped then fell into laughter. Peter struggled to open his eyes and focus on Jade but answered her question with only a slight slur. “Whhhittle.”

James gave a full belly laugh and Peter smiled sloppily over at him. Lily rolled her eyes, unsurprised at Peter naming the Divination teacher. She was the youngest woman on the staff and therefore an obvious choice. She watched as Peter tilted into the table and gave the bottle a spin. It landed on Tate Edwards, a sixth year Hufflepuff.

“M-mos illegal think you done.” Peter slurred out, trying to keep his eyes on Tate. The Hufflepuff shook his head and took a drink to the chorus of groans around the table. From the things she heard about Tate, she wasn’t surprised he passed.

“My turn.” He spun the bottle, a little too much, making it wobble precariously. The group watched as it landed…on Sirius. Lily couldn’t explain it but a feeling a dread washed over her. There was a glint in Tate’s eye that made her nervous. “Black, I think the question is one we’re all _dying_ to know…” He looked around the group smugly before settling his gaze back on Sirius. Lily held her breath. “How good of a shag was Rose?”

The silence that fell over the group was so sudden, it was like a blanket covered them. Lily didn’t know who to worry about first as she felt Remus tense beside her. James’ was so still, _something he never was_ , that Lily thought for a moment that he was a statue. But Lily actually felt a shiver of fear at the look on Sirius’ face. Never had he looked more like a Black than at that moment.

“ _What_ did you just say?” Sirius ground out, taunt as a bow. His eyes turned into steel, the glazed look from earlier vanishing in seconds.

Tate, the absolute _moron_ , smirked as if his life wasn't currently in danger from multiple people within his vicinity. “Come on, she’s all tough in the halls but I bet she’s a kitten in the sheets.”

“I wouldn’t know.” The tone of Sirius’ voice held a _barely_ leashed anger. And that leash was about to snap.

“Lupin? Input?” Tate raised an eyebrow at the boy beside her. Lily felt Remus growl deep within his chest at the question. “Come on, mates. Gotta know if she’s worth the effort.”

The tension _snapped._

In a blur of movement, so fast Lily couldn’t be sure who moved first or who reached the son of a bitch first, but seconds later, almost every boy in the group was piled on Tate and swinging. The tangle of limbs, although chaotic, had a clear and focused point. James, Sirius, Remus, Frank, and even Kole were on top of the Hufflepuff. Jade screamed so loudly that Lily’s ears rang.

Lily waved her wand and every boy in the pile froze, stiff as a board. The entire common room stared between them and the Head Girl who was seething silently. Taking a deep breath, she called out to the crowd. “Party is _over_. If you don’t live here, get the _hell_ out.”

Students in all house colors sprinted towards either the portrait hole or the staircase, escaping her wrath. When only the few who were involved and who mattered in this remained, Lily stalked towards the boys. With one wave of her wand, the body on the bottom was unearthed and now vertical so her green eyes were level with the petrified wide-eyed boy.

“You are _lucky_ that they are drunk as skunks right now, Edwards. But unfortunately for you, _I’m_ not.” Lily could practically see the ice forming with her cold tone. She stared right into Tate’s brown eyes with disgust, digging her wand underneath his chin. “If you _ever_ talk about my best friend like that again, I will hex you so throughly that you won’t remember your name.” His irises widened in fear at the threat. She waved her wand, unfreezing him, before she spat at his cowering form. “ _Out_. Before I change my mind.”

The Hufflepuff sprinted so fast, Lily’s hair fluttered slightly. Turning her body only 45 degrees, her emerald gaze locked onto her next targets. Every single one of their eyes widened at her. They had promised no fights tonight and had broken that promise. For a good reason. But Lily wanted to let them sweat it out for a few more seconds. It was the most fun she had all night.

—-

“Oi! Moody!” A male voice came from the hall near the front door. I stood, pulling my wand from my waistband, unsure of the person that was about to walk through the living room archway.

Make that _people_.

Two tall ginger haired men walked in, looking as if they had just run a marathon, their hair going every which way. Out of breath, one started speaking before looking around. “Got our - well, _hello_.”

The one who hadn’t been speaking had already zeroed in on my presence with a curious look but this one only just noticed me. I blushed slightly at the tone of his voice. The quieter one tilted his head slightly to the right. “Who’d you kidnap, Moody?”

“Emphasis on _kid_. Seems a little young for your typical tastes.” The louder one gave me an obvious look over. 

I squinted at them both challengingly. “If you have to refer to me as _kid_ then clearly you’re too old for me, too.”

“Oh ho, school girl has some bite.” The first twin gave me a cocky smirk then exchanged a look with his other half.

Said other half silently answered him before looking back to me. “How old _are_ you exactly? It’s not like Dumbledore to take students on field trips.”

The headmaster raised a cool eyebrow at the pair of redheads. “Ms. Rose, these are -“

“Prewetts.” I answered, enjoying the shocked look on their faces. Tapping my chin mockingly, I glanced between them. “Let me guess, Fabian -“ I pointed at the cockier twin, his eyes sparkling with glee, then pointed to the quieter man. “And Gideon.”

Gideon gave me a calculated look, the surprise at my correct guess as clear as the amusement in Fabian’s eyes. “Not many people get it right the first time.”

The right side of my mouth tilted upwards as I tried to keep a calm demeanor. The _Prewetts_. Holy shit. It was like looking at older versions of Fred and George. “I have sisters who are twins. Also, -“ I pointed at Fabian’s chest and let my smirk become a grin. “You have an F on your shirt.”

Fabian looked down in surprise at the handmade sweater with a large F. Seemed the Weasley family tradition wasn’t a Weasley one. He tilted his head back up, his eyes now appraising me carefully. “Moody can we keep her?”

“No.” The older man grumbled, obviously annoyed at the younger men. Moody leaned against the sofa, crossing his arms with a huff. “Did you finish?”

Both men straightened at the words, Gideon answering for them. “Yes. We inspected the neighbors, no marks like -“ He gestured awkwardly behind me where the little girl laid, his face twinged with sadness. “Killing curses on the rest. Looks like clean up only.”

Moody grunted with a nod. He turned towards Dumbledore and I, tapping a watch on his wrist. “Time’s up, Albus. We’ll talk about this -“ Moody gave a pointed look at me quickly. “Later. And next time, a heads up _before_ bringing interns.”

I glared at the rough Auror with as much distain as I could, growling at him. “I’m _not_ an intern, you -“

“Thank you again, Alastor. Tea tomorrow?” Albus cut in swiftly. My glare shot towards him for interrupting me, annoyed he wouldn’t let me defend myself. Gideon and Fabian looked between us with delight. Dumbledore held out a container of Floo powder. 

Grumpily, I snatched a handful and stepped into the fireplace. “Hogwarts.”

—-

Remus wished they’d made it back to the dorms before this had started. At least there, they could _pretend_ they weren’t eavesdropping. The werewolf winced at the screech Jade let out.

They were sitting in the common room. Emmy, Nancy, and Kole had smartly escaped while they had the chance and the rest of the Tower was safely up in their rooms. Him, Prongs, Wormtail, Lily, Alice, Frank, Marlene, and Dorcas were stuck though as Padfoot and Jade argued. The couple was standing only a foot from the staircase, the shouting now echoing up both sides. It would’ve been too awkward to try and sneak by. So, the group of seventh years sat as quietly as they could, patching their minor wounds as the duel continued.

“THEN STOP DEFENDING HER!” Jade’s voice was so high pitched that Remus winced again, Lily mirroring him. “I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IT LOOKS -“

“I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!” Pads roared back. His eyes hard as a rock as her glared at the Hufflepuff.

“ _YOU_ WERE THE ONE WHO ACCUSED HER OF GETTING INTO LUPIN AND YOUR BROTHER’S PANTS! DID YOU THINK NO ONE WOULD SAY ANYTHING?!” Remus’ eyes widen and he turned away from the couple to see Prongs grimace. Merlin, Pads _did_ deserved to get punch. Hell, he deserved more than that.

“THAT WASN’T - _NO_ , DO _NOT_ TURN THIS AROUND ON ME!” Padfoot threw a finger in face, shaking slightly, trying to contain his rage. “I TOLD YOU THAT IN _PRIVATE_. THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WHO KNEW WAS SYD -“

“And me.” Prongs muttered quietly. Lily raised an eyebrow at him and Remus knew from her look that Syd hadn’t gotten a chance to talk with Lily about the incident.

“I _ASKED_ YOU TO STOP GOSSIPING. PRACTICALLY _BEGGED_ YOU! ARE YOU SO PETTY THAT YOU COULDN’T CONTROL YOURSELF FOR ONE GODRIC DAMN _DAY?!_ ”

“AND ARE _YOU_ SO OBSESSED WITH HER THAT YOU CAN’T SEE ANYONE ELSE? YOU THINK IT’S _FUN_ BEING A STAND IN FOR THAT _SLAG?!_ ” Jade was almost foaming with how aggressively she was yelling. Padfoot’s face went a shade of purple at the last word but Jade continued on, not realizing the hole she was digging herself. “SHE DOESN’T EVEN _CARE_ THAT YOU’RE WITH ME! SHE IS SELFISH, EGOTISTICAL, AND VIOLENT! IT IS _PATHETIC_ WATCHING YOU TRY AND MAKE HER JEALOUS! AND I’M _DONE!_ ”

Remus couldn’t be positive, having the majority of the group at his back, but he was pretty sure that every single one of them gasped in surprise. Even Padfoot looked shocked at the turn of events. Jade, after a satisfied look passed over her face as she drank in Pads’ reaction, turned on her heel sharply and stormed from the dorm. The portrait door slammed so hard that two of the frames on that wall fell off.

No one breathed as Padfoot closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Finally, he spoke. “Please tell me we have Firewhiskey left.”

Lily moved the fastest and shoved a full bottle into his hand. Distantly, the clock tower rang twelve times. Midnight. He open his eyes, giving her a grateful smile before opening it and chugging half its contents. “Happy bloody birthday to me.”

—-

Gideon met his brother’s gaze after the Headmaster disappeared. Moody was inspecting the mother of the home again which allowed the twins to have a moment to themselves. “Interesting.”

“Curious.” Fabian muttered back, one eye on Moody. “Order?”

Gideon hummed a disagreement. Rose looked a little too rebellious for Albus’ usual soldiers. He tilted his head slightly to the right in thought. “Important?”

This time, Fabian hummed an agreement. The twins had an uncanny way of being on the same wavelength about these sorts of things. Fabian’s eyes widen slightly as an idea hit him and Gideon almost groaned. He knew that look. His brother gave him a devious smile. “I have the sudden urge to go to Hogsmeade this weekend.”

Gideon glanced over at Moody, confident that the older man was absorbed in whatever he was doing over there. Meeting his twin’s look, he couldn’t help the returning smirk. “You don’t say. I was _just_ thinking the same thing."

—-

I eased open the portrait door slowly, surprised when I didn’t hear any noise from within. It was about 2 in the morning and I’d expected the entire Tower to still be partying. Dumbledore had kept me a little longer to once again discuss the dangers that threatened not only me but others as well. My head was pounding from the long day and the even longer conversation. Stepping out of the hole, I looked around to see the unexpectedly clean common room empty.

Well, _mostly_ empty.

My eyes met glazed gray ones across the room. Sighing, I crossed the room before he could truly focus on me. “Sirius, what -“

He staggered to his feet, almost tripping over them, and I quickly caught him around the middle so he wouldn’t bash his head into the coffee table. Sirius leaned heavily on me, his breath _reeking_ of cinnamon whiskey. “L’ve, you - you’re late.”

“No, Sirius, I had training I couldn’t skip.” I splayed a firm hand on his chest, forcing him to back away a few inches. He leaned against it, not enough to knock me over but enough to gain a few inches towards me. “Did you have a good birthday?”

He moved his left hand, engulfing the one I had on his chest. Looking down at our hands, he began moving the thumb back and forth. “You nev’r said happy bir-birfday to me.”

I bit my lip for a second, trying not to let the sadness in his voice get to me. Quietly, I replied. “Happy birthday, Sirius. Now, did you have a good birthday?”

“Mmm, had better.” He mumbled, stepping closer. The hand which had been resting on my hip slid to the small of my back. As he tilted his head, I could see a dark circle on the column of his neck and a sliver of jealousy went through me.

“Sirius, you have a girlfriend.” I ducked my head a little to catch his eyes. They shot to mine and narrowed in thought. “I don’t care if it’s your birthday, I don’t -“

“Broke up.” He hiccuped, blinking rapidly at the sound. Shaking his head, he met my gaze again. “Diddnit like her - her talking bout you like tha. Called you - you - Big fight. Shhhe broke up wit me.”

I couldn’t be sure if it was the booze talking or if this was true. He broke up with Jade, _days_ into dating her, because he didn’t like her talking about me? After _he_ insulted me? Scratch that, _she_ broke up with _him?_ What the hell happened the few hours I’d been gone? “You’ve been talking about me like that, too. You can’t get mad at her for doing the same thing.”

Sirius frowned, looking like a kicked puppy. “I diddnit -“ He hiccuped. “- mean it. Juss mad. And sad. Miss you. Iss not right without you.”

It was a mutual feeling. I’d ignored it every time it sprung up but the ghost of his presence followed me everywhere I went. I wasn’t going to play games like this though, I wouldn’t let _him_ decide when to reel me back in. “That’s not an apology, Sirius.”

“ ‘m sorry. Very sorry. All the sorries.” He mumbled, pulling me closer to him. I was close enough that I could see the subtle on his chin and practically taste his breath. We were _dangerously_ close right now.

Sighing, I pushed against his chest again and even though I feel the tenseness in his body, feel him wanting to be this close, he took a forced step back. “I don’t think we should talk about this now. I’ll take an apology when you’re sober. How ab -“

“Go to Hogsmeade with me.” His fingers brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “On a - a - whas the word? Date! A date.”

My lips couldn’t help quirking up slightly at his slurring. “You’re drunk, Sirius.”

“No, no,” He paused, closing his eyes for a moment then meeting mine again. “Well, yes but no. I’m _single_ and I wan - wanna go to Hogsmeade. With you.”

Longing shot through me. I _wanted_ to say yes, so badly, but he could barely stand let alone make a conscious decision right now. It wouldn’t be right. And I was still a little pissed that he would think I’d throw myself at just anyone. A drunken apology after breaking up with a girlfriend was not enough to make me fall at his feet.

“I’ll make you a deal,” I said softly, caught in his stormy eyes. He watched me as intently as he could, his focus struggling to stay on me with all the alcohol flowing through him. “If you remember this in the morning and ask me again, I’ll go with you.”

“Re-really?” His eyes wide with surprise and…hope. The boy was drunk off his _ass_ and I felt slightly bad knowing there was no way in hell he’d remember this the next day.

“Yes.” I agreed, confident nothing would come of this conversation. Pushing against him, he took a few unsteady steps back towards the staircase. “But you need to go to bed -“ A heated glint glimmered even beneath that glazed look and I shot down his thought immediately. “ _Alone_. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“As you whish,” Sirius tried to make a sweeping bow and I winced as his head collided with the edge of the side table next to the sofa. Falling onto his ass, he pouted up at me with blood running down the side of his face.

Sighing heavily, I pulled him up and dragged him towards the staircase, muttering curses to myself. The little bud of hope, the little itty bitty spark that _maybe_ he’d remember this, wiggled it’s way into my brain and as much as I hated it…it stubbornly stayed put.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW this one was almost 7000 words. I'm so excited about Gideon and Fabian though. Also MOODY. There was so much I wanted to squeeze into this and just WHEW.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, kudos, and love ❤️ Stay safe and healthy
> 
> And if you are in the States where there are fires, I hope you're in a safe place.


	28. Walls

Sirius winced as Worm scratched his fork against his plate getting a piece of sausage. His head felt like he’d had a Bludger to it then was forced to listen to mandrakes screech for hours. Slowly, he took a bite of toast and debated whether it would stay down or not. Firewhiskey was _not_ his friend right now.

And neither was his memory. The beginning of the evening was clear enough, the fight with Edwards was also pretty clear - if mostly because Prongs couldn’t stop talking about how Lily threatened the Hufflepuff and he was now more in love with her than before - but the break up with Jade was the last thing he fully remembered. Well, that and downing two _entire_ bottles of Firewhiskey. It was a miracle he was alive.

Sirius felt Syd’s eyes flick over to him again as she talked with Lily. Luckily, Lily had relayed the events to the dark haired girl from last night before they had come to breakfast so Sirius didn’t have to relive it while trying not to spew everywhere. An alien twinge of impatience went through him and he took a bite of toast, ignoring it.

Syd hadn’t shown last night and although he wasn’t surprised, he’d had a sliver of hope that she’d walk in at some point. Sirius glanced back towards her to see her watching before their eyes met. Quickly, she averted her gaze, a slight blush forming on her cheeks. His heart jumped and the alien twinge jolted too.

It had been happening for almost a week. He’d be doing something and out of the blue, a feeling that was unwarranted for what he was doing would go through him. Impatience, rage, sorrow, even a feeling of being fed up would rolling over him when he was doing mundane things like homework or flying during practice. The worst ones were in the middle of the night. Absolute terror would surge through him and he’d wake up panting from it. Once, he’d woken up with tears running down his face.

Last night, during the fight with Jade, had been one of the more intense bouts of these feelings. On top of his own anger, a foreign tendril of helplessness had been there followed by a simmering rage. It had taken a bottle and a half of Firewhiskey to numb that tether completely. 

Syd’s eyes shot from Lily to him once again then back to Lily and a flicker of impatience went through him. There was no reason for _him_ to feel impatient. Currently, he was trying not to fall into his breakfast plate while also trying not to hurl over the whole table. But -

No. Sirius shoved the thought away. He was tired, still upset about S-Jade, upset about _Jade_ , and unbelievably hung over. Yes, magic was a part of life and it sometimes did unexpected things but to connect -

Prongs groaned beside him, his head on the table, as Worm scratched the plate again. “I swear to Godric, Worm, I will - I don’t know what but it’ll be unpleasant. Use your bloody hands.”

Sirius chuckled then groaned as the movement caused his head to pound more. Syd smirked at the sound, her and Lily trading amused looks. Moony turned another page in his book, looking as if he’d not only had a restful night sleep but hadn’t had a sip of alcohol. Bloody stupid werewolf.

A screeched sounded through the hall, followed by several more. Sirius, Worm, Prongs, Marlene, and Alice clamped their hands over their ears, several of them groaning from doing so. Syd’s face turned pale as a tawny owl landed in front of Lily. Lily paid the bird and retrieved her Prophet like everyday.

“Lily,” Syd said tightly. The redhead gazed at her with concern. “Let me see that.” After a second, as if realizing she was being rude, she threw in, “Please.”

Warily, Lily handed her the Prophet then exchanged a glance with Moony over Syd’s head. He softly shook his head, unsure why Syd was acting so strange. Sirius watched as she unfolded the paper and her face turned grave as her eyes scanned the page. The alien feeling shot through him, sorrow this time.

Across the room, a broken sob echoed throughout the Hall, halting everyone’s conversations. Syd’s head snapped up, focusing on the spot the cry had come from. Heads turned to see Nellie Abbott clutching a letter and a copy of the Prophet as she clung to her Hufflepuff housemate, Kara Banks. Quietly, Syd whispered to the table. “Who is that?”

“Nellie Abbott.” Moony replied, softer than Syd had been.

“Does she have a sister?” Her voice breaking slightly at the end of her question.

Lily shook her head, face flickering between confusion and concern. “No. I don’t believe so."

“I’ll be right back,” Syd muttered, throwing the Prophet down and pushing herself up. Sirius’ eyes didn’t need to follow her, he felt it as she walked across the room to Nellie. 

—-

All thoughts of Sirius were shoved out of my head. I was now only focused on reaching the poor girl who had just lost part of her family. I’d been impatient, wanting Sirius to _remember_ but it was clear he was too hung over to even function right now. Maybe it would come to him later. _Maybe_.

Several Hufflepuffs watched me warily as I approached. I could feel Jade glaring at me a few feet down and purposely ignored her. Nellie’s face was down, looking at the letter in her hands, tears pouring off to splatter it. Quietly, unnoticed by Nellie or the ashy blonde girl she’d been hugging, I knelt next to her bench, my hand going to her shoulder.

Startled, she turned and her eyes widened slightly as they landed on me, down on one knee so we were eye level. “Hi, Nellie. My name’s Sydney. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

I kept my voice low and calm, not wanting to startle her again. I held my hand out to the auburn haired girl. Hesitantly, she shook it but seemed at a loss for words. Swallowing thickly, I did my best not to let the image of Ava surface, knowing my own tears would fall the moment I did. I could do this. “Ava was your cousin, right?”

Nellie nodded, wiping her cheeks. Lily had said she didn’t have a sister so that left cousin. My heart clenched at the pain Nellie must be going through, learning about the loss in a letter. Dumbledore should’ve told her. She shouldn’t have had to sit in the middle of the damn Hall to learn she’d lost a family member.

“I am so sorry for your loss.” I whispered, unable to be louder than that. My eyes burned at the tears that wanted to escape. I _couldn’t_ though. Once I did…I wasn’t sure I’d stop. “I can’t - “ I swallowed hard and tried again. “I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through…there are no words except I’m so sorry for you and your family.”

Big fat tears fell from Nellie’s eyes causing me to take a breath or else mine would join hers. Softly, Nellie replied. “T-thank you.”

“Would you and your friend like to come with me to the kitchens to get more coffee? You’ll have to show me to the kitchens though, I’ve only been down there once.” I wanted to get her away from these eyes, into a safer place where she could grieve in private. A shot of anger went through me again at the fact that Dumbledore let this poor girl find out she had lost part of her family _here_. Luckily, Nellie’s friend was fast on the uptake.

“We’d love to.” The ashy blonde Hufflepuff answered for both of them. “I’m Kara.”

“It’s great to meet you, Kara. I -“ A bump under my armpit sent me sprawling, breaking the intense moment. Pushing myself up, I shook my head at the culprit, fixing my skirt. “Brat, You’re lucky you’re cute or I’d leave you in the forest.”

Tux wagged his tail, giving me a huff. A small giggle which cut off abruptly reached my ears. Nellie. I gave her a soft smile then stood and gestured for her to follow me. Kara gathered up their things as I linked arms with Nellie, guiding her towards the door. 

As we walked from the front of the room towards the doors, Tux veered off towards the green clothed table on our right. Right to -

“Tux.” The dog ignored me in favor of receiving a scratch from Regulus. His eyes met mine as we passed and the loaded look he gave had me frowning. I wondered how much he knew. Judging by his look, he knew exactly who I was leading out of the Hall and why, his Prophet untouched by his plate. Calling the stubborn dog again, Tux finally trotted after us.

Before heading out, I looked over my shoulder and found Dumbledore watching us. My casual look turned into a glare and I couldn’t help the satisfied feeling as his eyes widen slightly at me. Motherfucker wanted me to learn how dangerous it was out there? Well. I was going to teach _him_ what it looked like to be a _caring_ human being. 

—-

Brogan droned on in the front of the classroom, walking back and forth while gesturing with his hands. Jaimy laid with his head face down, still slightly hung over. Wisely, I tuned out Brogan and read my Defense textbook.

I had spent a good hour with Nellie and Kara in the kitchens then caught Professor Sprout on my way to Magical Creatures, letting her know that the two girls would be skipping the rest of the day. The professor waved away my explanation, thanking me profusely for helping Nellie.

Magical Creatures was quiet. Almost the whole class, minus Lily, Remus, and me, were hung over and sprawled on their desks. Kettleburn kept it simple, continuing our dragon lessons, knowing what his students had been up to last night.

I _still_ couldn’t believe what Lily had told me. I knew already that Sirius and Jade had broken up and I was somehow part of it but when Lily told me _exactly_ what was said…wow. Just wow. Not to mention the Tate Edwards fiasco. I was a little touched that not only Jaimy, Remus, and Sirius had defended me but Kole and Frank had too. I wasn’t close with them but it was comforting to know that they had my back. 

The whole Jade thing _also_ explained why everyone was calling me the Marauder’s Whore. Jaimy thought I didn’t hear it or see him glaring at people in the halls but I wasn’t _stupid_. Or deaf. I knew Jade didn’t like me but to spread a false rumor, one she _knew_ was false, about me was a little low. I expected her to be a little more subtle than that. Regardless, the damage was done.

The other little tidbit I’d heard in the halls this morning was that not only was I whoring around with the Marauders and others _but_ I was now a homewrecker, so to speak. The fight between Jade and Sirius had been _loud_ , according to Lily, and the entire Tower had been talking about it all morning.

For someone who hadn’t actually had sex yet, I was _really_ making a name for myself. It was a shame I couldn’t _enjoy_ the perks of being a whore.

Movement in the room broke my thoughts as Brogan ended class. Jaimy groaned as he dragged himself upright and I bit back a laugh as we stood up to leave. 

“ - good riddance, too.” The haughty voice right at my back set me on edge. “All mudbloods should be dealt with like that. The muggle lovers too, like Rose here -“

The _moment_ I felt that hand on my shoulder, I moved. Grasping the hand by the wrist, I threw my body forward, feeling the chest of the body behind me against my shoulder blade. Using my hips, I bent all the way forward until a blur moved and I was now looking down at Rodolphus’ surprised face. Quickly, I spun then threw one leg over him and knelt, drawing my wand and pressing it against his neck.

No one moved a muscle as I stared down hard at the boy beneath me. Leaning over him, my hair swung over my left shoulder, almost brushing his chest. My voice turned to a growl. “And how _exactly_ do you think you’d _deal with me_?”

He didn’t answer, just gulped. His pupils were blown wide open with terror and I dug the wand in a little harder. “Well?”

Still, he didn’t say a word. _No one_ did. Even Brogan didn’t intervene. “Do you think _murdering children_ is _fun_? Cause, sweetie, I’ve got to say, that’s one of the most _fucked up_ things I’ve heard in a while.”

“Mudbloods are parasites. Even the children.” He hissed at me.

“No, _you_ are the parasite.” With my left hand supporting me, I bent my head closer so only he could hear me, staring into his cold muddy eyes. “That includes your girlfriend. You tell her I know what she did and that when I see her next, I am _returning the favor_. She wants to play with fire so much? I can show her how to _really_ do it.”

“How -“

“And if you _ever_ touch me again, I shoved this wand straight through your throat. _Without_ magic.” With that, I pushed myself up and stood over him. Pointing my wand down at his rage filled face, I threw in one last threat. “Make another comment about muggle borns and you _will_ regret it.”

Turning on my heel, I walked straight down the aisle, flinging my bag over my shoulder. When I reached the end, Rodolphus finally spoke up. “ _Bitch_.”

I glared at him, leaning up on one elbow while rubbing his neck with his hand. “That’s _Queen_ Bitch to you.”

Before he, or anyone else, could respond, I swept out of the classroom and stormed outside. A small smile graced my lips. Queen Bitch. It had a nicer ring to it than the Maruader’s Whore.

—-

LeStrange stood up the second Syd had walked out, sputtering at Brogan. “You just _let_ her do that?”

Brogan crossed his arms and gave LeStrange a raised eyebrow. “If you’re dim enough to push her buttons like that, I’m not going to stop her from flipping you on your arse. Literally.”

Red faced, LeStrange stormed out the door. Everyone finally let out a collective breath, the tension in the room seeping out with LeStrange gone. Prongs went to rush out, most likely to catch Syd, and Pads was right there with him. Unfortunately, the two of them were still swaying and in no shape to go after the hot-headed girl. Remus put an arm on Prongs’ shoulder and shook his head. “I got her.”

Without waiting for a response, Remus followed Syd’s trail. He passed a few students but not too many on his way to the bridge. Stepping onto the stone, he saw the dark haired girl sitting on a ledge of one of the arches. He scuffled his feet slightly as he approached, not wanting her to tumble off and plunge the 100 yard drop if he startled her. “Lean any further and you’re going to need to learn to fly, Buttercup.”

“What do you want, Remus?” She growled, arms crossed and glaring out at the trees. He sidled up to her arch, leaning against the opposite wall causally so he could see her face. She kept her eyes out, refusing to look at him.

“Ah, so we’re in a mad-at-everyone mood today. Any particular reason? Besides the obvious one.” He asked, watching her intently.

She raised one eyebrow challengingly when she met his gaze. “There has to be _one_?”

He was silent for a moment, giving her a chance to voice her anger but she stubbornly remained quiet. It reminded him of Sirius. When the dark haired boy was upset, truly upset, he became more stubborn than usual and it was an effort to drag anything out of him. “Am I supposed to guess or are we going to sit here until you -“

“I was there.” She whispered, her eyes shutting for a moment as her throat bobbed, like she was trying to clear her throat.

“There?” Remus squinted at her, a little confused at where her mind was at.

“At the Hanker house last night.” He inhaled sharply at her words. “Dumbledore took me there. Remus, she was _eight_. Eight fucking years old and just - just _lying_ there. I almost _stepped_ on her. And Rodolphus was talking about her like it was a _joke_ , like it was _funny_.”

“Syd -“ He started but she cut him off with a glare. He knew the anger wasn’t directed at him but he flinched at the intensity all the same.

“And Dumbledore had the _audacity_ to let poor Nellie find out like that. If it had been me, if it was Jaimy - Jesus, I’m not Dumbledore would’ve walked out of that Hall alive.” She wiped a few tears, which had escaped, from her eyes, careful of the glasses perched on her face. “The thing that keeps coming back to me though is that Moody said there wasn’t anything he could do. _Nothing_. That their murders, they’d sit in a file with the _others_. Others, Rem. There’s a whole bunch of _murders_ sitting in _files_ that won’t be solved, won’t be brought to justice.”

“There’s nothing you could’ve done to save her, Syd. You can’t save everyone.” Remus whispered gently. Her eyes flashed with hurt and Remus hated seeing it.

“But isn’t that what I’m _supposed_ to do? Save you? Save them?” Syd shoved her hand through her hair, messing up the bun which held half of it. “I _hate_ this. Bellatrix and Voldemort and that whole fucking cult just running around _murdering_ people and there’s no way to _stop_ them.”

Remus’ eyes narrowed slightly at what she said. “Bellatrix? What does she have to do with this?”

“I - sorry, I explained that theory to Jaimy.” She winced, realizing she’d been spouting out her thoughts. Briefly, she explained how she believed that the Death Eaters were trying to find the Hallows for Voldemort and that the Hankers might have been collateral in that mission. His mind was a whirl of disbelief as she explained it. The Hallows. The Hallows were _real_. And his best friend _had one_. Merlin, he’d spilled butterbeer at some point on a _Hallow_. It was unbelievable.

“And Prongs knows this?” Remus was now sitting where Syd had as she paced back and forth on the walkway.

“Just the Cloak thing. Not - not -“ Syd waved a hand over herself. “Me.” She threw a finger at his face. “And he _can’t_ know about him dying. Or Sirius. _Especially_ Sirius.”

“Prongs can know your theory about the Cloak, Padfoot can’t know a thing, and I’m allowed to know bits and pieces? Syd, you _have_ to give me more than this. What _happens_ to Padfoot? I understand not telling Prongs he’s going to die, which you _still_ haven’t explained, but what is so bad that Pads can’t know _anything_?” Remus had been thinking over what she’d revealed so far. They were all going to die, she’d said as much, but he at least would live long enough to have a kid. He completely understood not telling him or the others how or when they’d be taken from this world but Syd was insistent that Pads not know anything. Of all people, he’d expect Pads to be the one person Syd would want to know, to be on her side and help her, even after all the shite he’d pulled this week.

Her face fell, a bone deep sadness in her eyes. “There are worse things than dying, Rem. And if he knows - Jesus, if he _ever_ found out what was going to happen…I _can’t_ let him live through that. I won’t let him.”

“ _What_ though? What is worse than dying?” He could hear the desperation in his voice. He _needed_ to know what it was.

Remus watched indecision flicker over her face. This was _big_. If she told him, revealed this major piece of the puzzle, Remus would need to guard it with his life. He didn’t even know what it was yet but he _knew_ that he’d _never_ be able to talk about it. Finally, after a few silent moments…she answered. “Azkaban. He gets blamed for…” She let out a shaky breath. “He gets blamed for being involved in James and Lily’s murders. And killing 13 people.”

Remus opened his mouth, eyes wide, ready to protest even the _idea_ of Padfoot betraying Prongs when she continued. “He didn’t. But he ends up spending 12 years there. _12 years_ , Remus. As if losing Jaimy wouldn’t be bad enough, he’d be stuck in _Azkaban_. And then he manages to escape and ends up on the run for _years_ only to be killed by that _bitch_.” She blew an aggressive huff of air through her nose and began pacing again. “I’m _not_ letting any of it happen. I _won’t_.”

Syd’s steps were measured, back and forth, barely making a sound. Remus could now see _why_ she was so adamant against Padfoot knowing anything. Pads already had enough self-hating issues stemming from his upbringing but if he learned that there was even a _possibility_ of him betraying Prongs, even if Syd said he didn’t, it would _shatter_ whatever held him together at the moment. And the fall out of that…he’s not sure Padfoot would truly find his way back. Syd had only been with them for a month but was intuitive enough to _know_ how Pads would take something like this.

“Alright.” Remus rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “We don’t tell Padfoot. We work on stopping it. All of it. Where do we begin?”

She stopped mid-step, turning her head towards him, a look of slight astonishment on her face. “We?”

“Yes, we. I told you I’m here for you, in _any_ way you need me. Plus you’re a complete nutter if you think I’m letting you take on _Death Eaters_ alone.” He smirked at her, crossing his arms defiantly. She snorted quietly, shaking her head. “The Cloak is safe with Prongs so what else?”

“The horcruxes.” Syd mused, starting to pace again. “We need to find them all.” She launched into how Voldemort had created several - Merlin, _seven_ \- horcruxes to keep him alive. At the last one, she hesitated.

“What?” Remus prompted as she bit her lip nervously.

“The last one…it’s not a thing.” She stopped her pacing, standing with one hip to the side and looked at him steadily. “It’s a person. It’s not - _they’re_ not even alive yet but…I’m not sure it’ll matter if you know since I don’t plan on letting him create that one.”

He pursed his lips slightly. She was being protective of whoever that person was and although he was itching to know, he didn’t want to push her too far. At any point, she could decide not to tell him and he’d be in the dark with only a half formed idea of what was coming. Better to let this piece go than risk losing out on bigger pieces. “Then don’t. We’ll work on destroying the others. And figuring out how you got here.”

She sighed, running a hand through her already messy hair. Merlin, she looked more like Prongs every day. “That might be more important. We have time to find the horcruxes, I know where a few are or where they might be so I’m not too concerned with that. _Me_ on the other hand…I’m worried I’ll just disappear and that…Lord, Rem, I _can’t_ disappear. I can’t leave you all.”

“Then we have a better idea of where to start.” There was a slight relaxing of Syd’s shoulders, as if a bit of the tension had melted out at the solidity of a plan. “We can go to the library this weekend, see if maybe there’s something there.”

Syd opened her mouth then stopped, eyebrows narrowing a bit in thought, as if an idea crossed her mind. Remus raised an eyebrow silently, asking what she was thinking. “Yes to the library but…I have another idea. I don’t think you’re going to like it though.”

—-

Glancing at my watch, I let out a relieved sigh. Only another half an hour and I’d be free from detention. For now. Honestly, I was surprised Brogan hadn’t tacked on another week for flipping Rodolphus over. Although I had stormed out of there as fast as I could. I’d just _snapped_ when he said he thought that all the muggle borns should be taken out like the Hankers. Fucking asshole.

A shiver went down my spine thinking of the Hankers and the nightmare from last night crept back into my thoughts.

 _Ava’s empty eyes staring at me. My mouth open in a wordless scream, dropping to my knees. Hands - my hands - running over her small face but - I realize it’s not Ava. No, it’s different little girl. Brown unruly hair_ \- _my_ _hair - and gray eyes. Storm gray eyes._

I didn’t want to peer too closely at that nightmare. I knew in my gut what it was telling me and the thought…no. It wasn’t even possible. I wouldn’t -

A knock on wood startled me from my head. I spun to find storm gray eyes - _those_ eyes - watching me with amusement. “I’d ask what’s on your face but I’m not sure I want to know the answer.”

“No, you probably don’t.” I shot back, leaning against the shovel. “Can I help you with something?”

Sirius shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets and leaned against the doorframe. “Wanted to try to spring you from detention. I don’t know though, I kinda like watching you do manual labor.”

“You know _most_ guys would offer to do it for me.” I raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked. “Really, though. What are you doing down here? I told you I’d be back before dinner.”

Awkwardly, he rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the ground. “I, uh, wanted to thank you. For the gifts. How did you know I wanted a new Led Zeppelin album?”

“Lily.” I answered quickly. Disappointment crept in, he didn’t remember. Of _course_ he didn’t remember. He was so drunk, he tried to get into Remus’ bed when I dragged him up. But…Jesus, I really had hoped he’d remembered. Maybe not right away, at breakfast, but at some point during the day. His eyes narrowed slightly before smoothing out. “You’re welcome. Sorry, I couldn’t make it back in time though. Lily told me all about it. Did you all _really_ tackle Edwards?”

Sirius’ eyes turned dark, he practically growled when he answered. “Bastard should’ve been hexed within an inch of his life. Mostly for being _stupid_ enough to think he could say something like that in front of us.”

I bit back a smile. “Well, it’s nice to know I have all of you to defend my honor.”

“About that.” He pressed his lips together, avoiding my eyes again. Running a hand through his hair, he glanced up and finally held my gaze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…the other day. I didn’t mean it. I know you wouldn’t -“

“Forget it, Sirius.” I cut in, turning back to shovel another pile of hay into the wheelbarrow.

A calloused hand appeared on my forearm. I stopped and looked up to see him intently looking down at me. Slowly, I straightened up so our eyes were more level. He was still a good three inches taller than me but I preferred not craning my neck to look at him.

“Lo -“ He stopped and my heart lurched, dismayed he didn’t finish the word. I’d _missed_ it this past week. “Syd. Please. Let me apologize. I _truly_ didn’t mean it. And I’m sorry, _so_ sorry, I ever said something so awful about you. I never meant -“

I smiled gently and put my hand over his. “I know. And I’m sorry for…for Sunday night. It wasn’t what you thought it was. What _Peter_ ,” I practically spat his name. “Told you. Remus…I was overwhelmed and he was comforting me. As a _friend_.”

Sirius nodded. We were silent for a few minutes, him watching me with those knowing gray eyes. His dark hair brushed the top of his cheekbones and my hand twitched, wanting to push it back. “So. Are we good?”

“Yes. We’re good.” I confirmed. It would take some time to get back to where we’d been a week ago but I wanted to get back to that place with him. “Although don’t expect me apologize for punching you. You totally deserved that.”

“Fair enough, love.” He smirked then moved a step closer to me. My heart skipped a beat at the pet name. I tilted my head up slightly and raised an eyebrow at him curiously. “Now, let me make it up to you by - _woah_.”

Sirius was sudden right on top of me. His one arm went instinctively around my waist and the other held us up against the wall behind my back. His eyes were wide with surprise. A smooth, brown beak poked its way under his armpit and I laughed. Frozen, Sirius stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Please tell that isn’t a hippogriff.”

Grinning, I shoved the beak away, receiving a squawk of protest. Sirius carefully peeled himself off of me and the wall, turning so he was now pressed against it and further away from the creature. “This is Buckbeak.”

“Love, I know you’re new here but we all generally _avoid_ the hippogriffs.” His gaze was glued on Buckbeak who nudged me in the shoulder. “Considering they can gut us with one swipe.”

I walked over to the compartment with rats that Kettleburn kept in the barn. It magically locked so only humans could open it and kept the rats fresh. Throwing one at the pushy giant, I smirked at the wary boy. “He just wants a treat. He’s harmless.”

“Harmless? Love, _what_ did they teach you in the States? I’m really starting to question your upbringing.” Sirius gave me a worried look.

Shaking my head, I ran a hand over the soft feathers and gave Buck a scratch on his neck. He turned his head and used his beak to gently nibble - _preen_ \- my arm. “You hang out with a _werewolf_ once a month and you think _Bucky_ is dangerous?”

“You gave it a _nickname_? Godric’s balls, now you’re _never_ going to get rid of it.” Sirius narrowed his eyes at me and I gave him an incredulous look. “What?”

“ _You_ call me ‘love’ all the time, it’s the same thing.” I mean yes, the love thing was a pet name but that’s essentially the same thing with him since he almost _never_ calls me Syd. Except this past week. Which was the _worst_.

The corner of his mouth ticked up a tiny bit. “Well, love, I _was_ planning on keeping you around. You keep our small lives here pretty entertained.”

I gave him a dry look which he laughed at. A smile spread across my face at the sound. God, I could listen to that laugh _forever_. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the wheelbarrow to put out the last of the hay. “I’ll be right back and then we can head up.”

Before I could blink, Sirius was taking the wheelbarrow out of my hands. Tilting my head at him, he raised both eyebrows at me. “I’ve got it, love. You get rid of that beast, I don’t want it following us up to the castle. Those dorms are cramped enough as it is.”

I scoffed as he pushed the cart out the door and gave Buck another pat. “ _Beast_. He’s one to talk.”

As I waited for Sirius to come back, I couldn’t wipe the small smile from my face. I _missed_ him. I had missed him more than I realized. Having him near me again, calling me love, just _looking_ at me…it was like a piece of me slid back into place. It had been a week of avoiding each other, fighting, and general awkwardness and although we weren’t back to that natural, easy relationship we’d had before…we’d get there. Eventually.

Because even if I wanted to bash his head into a wall for being an idiot…there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d ever be able to stay mad at that boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the BEST. I've got a zillion things going on at the moment and all I've wanted to do is write and update this. THANK YOU for staying around/joining and reading. 
> 
> Thank you for all of the love, comment, and kudos. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	29. Hard to Love

Marlene stepped out of the bathroom, giving Lily her chance to spring on me. “ _So?_ Did he ask?”

The morning before, after Lily had told me the details of Sirius’ party, I’d admitted that I’d found him when I came back. And what we’d talked about. We’d been around the others since we discussed it and she’d been on the edge of her seat, waiting to know the results.

I rubbed my eyes, exhausted from the nightmare that had woken me up last night. It was the little girl again. She was older this time though, around…around _my_ age. But those gray eyes. It wasn’t me. Dream me _knew_ it wasn’t me. As to who it was…I didn’t want to think about that. “No. He doesn’t even remember me coming back.”

“ _Shite_.” Lily huffed, disappointment bleeding into her face. I think she’d been more excited about Sirius remembering than I had been. “I’m sorry, Syd. I thought maybe -“

“It’s fine, Lils.” I brushed it off as casually as I could. There was still a lead weight in my stomach, that disappointment sitting there since yesterday. I shrugged as I finished brushing my hair. “I really didn’t expect him to remember.”

Lily groaned, dramatically putting her head on the counter. “I owe Remus five knuts. Damn him.”

Wait _what_? “You _bet_ on whether Sirius would remember?”

Dragging herself up, she looked completely unapologetic as she answered. “Of course, I did. Remus was so sure that Sirius would forget. I _had_ to bet against him.”

We headed out into the dorm, me shaking my head in disbelief. Marlene and Alice were nowhere to be seen but it wasn’t too surprising since they both had dates for Hogsmeade. I was so excited for Mar. Dory had asked her out during Sirius’ party and they’d apparently spent the whole time with each other. And Alice was of course with Frank for the day. So that left Lily and I with the Marauders.

I narrowed my eyes at her slightly, opening the door for Tux to slip out ahead of us. “I think you all have a gambling problem.”

“When you’re stuck with the same people for seven years, you have to make it interesting. You’ve already won me 5 knots and a galleon.” She winked at me playfully.

“From _what?_ ” They were all take _bets_ about my non-existent love life. What the _hell_. “ _Nothing_ has happened with me and Sirius.”

She raised on eyebrow dryly, clearly over my bullshit and began to count on her fingers. “Let’s see, we have bets on: when you’ll _finally_ get together, how many girlfriends Sirius tries to distract himself with, how many times you’ll break Sirius’ nose, who will make the first _real_ move, how you’ll get together, how many times -“

I stopped in the middle of the common room and gave her a wide-eyed look. “This is a joke right? You can’t _possibly_ be betting on all that.”

“What _else_ are we supposed to do? You two are the only ones with a dramatic relationship and we get bored.” She shrugged. “The only ones who _aren’t_ in on it are you and Sirius. Obviously.”

I glared at her half-heartedly. I wasn’t _actually_ offended by this news, just surprised they had _so many_ bets going on. “Maybe I’ll tell Sirius about these _bets_ and if we ever do decide to get together, _which_ will be _our_ business, we’re not going to tell any of you.”

Lily huffed, starting to walk towards the portrait hole again. “As if we wouldn’t know. The two of you are about as subtle as a dragon at dinner. As soon as you _do_ get together, you’ll be all over each.”

I gave an incredulous look behind her back. “Why on Earth do you think _that_? I do have _some_ self control.”

“Yeah, right.” She scoffed. “If Sirius walked up to you stark naked right now, you’re telling me you wouldn’t drag him into the nearest closet?”

A blush raged across my face so fast, I could _feel_ it burning my skin. “Wha - _no_. Jesus, Lily, that’s -“

“Hmm, that blush says otherwise.” She smartly turned towards her side of the table and I made my way back to my old seat. My blush finally faded as we sat…that is until Sirius’ hand accidentally brushed my thigh. It came roaring back and I quickly took a sip of coffee, avoiding Lily’s grinning face. “What was that you were saying about self control?”

—-

“That one is _definitely_ Potter. I think the gangly one is Lupin.” Gideon pointed at the taller boy next to Rose.

“The redhead. Evans?” Fabian tilted his head, watching the group outside of Honeydukes. “I don’t know who that little one is -“

“Creeping on students? This is pathetic, even for you two.” The twins whipped around, Fabian groaning in annoyance at the addition to their alley.

“Merlin, Macdonald. Are you _trying_ to put me in an early grave? I thought you were with Moody today.” Fabian scowled at the black haired woman.

Mary Macdonald rolled her eyes at his tone, crossing her arms and tilting her hips to one side. “He’s having tea with Albus so I bailed. I’m not wasting a beautiful day sitting with crotchety old men as they gossip. Now, the real question is: who are you two tailing?”

Gideon waved her a little closer to the mouth of the alleyway and pointed towards the group of seventh years. “The one in the green jacket. Rose. She showed up at the Hanker house with Dumbledore."

“She’s got a mouth on her. Not D’s usual pick.” Fabian put in, taking up his spot on the opposite wall of the alleyway again.

Mary smirked as she looked at the girl in question, watching as she laughed at something Lily Evans said. “She’s cute.”

“Dibs.” Fabian shot, giving Mary a challenging look.

She put both hands on her hips and glared at him. “You can’t call dibs on a _person_ , Fay. Besides, you don’t know if she’s into blokes.”

“And _you_ don’t know if she’s into birds. I saw her first, dibs.” Fabian stared into Mary’s eyes, not willing to break as they squared off.

Gideon chuckled, turning both of their heads towards him. The corner of his mouth tilted up in amusement. “I think you’re both out of luck. Seems Rose is into Black.”

Mary and Fabian turned to see Rose standing close to the older Black brother, a bright smile on her face. Even from a distance, Fabian could see Black’s lovestruck look. The couple was talking as if there was no one else around, in their own world. Potter said something to Rose and as she turned to respond, Black kept his eyes on her, a small smile on his face.

“Eh, I’m better looking than Black.” Fabian muttered with a frown on his face.

Mary scoffed and Fay shot her a dirty look. “No, you’re not. I’m not into blokes and even _I_ would make an exception for Black. Damn, Rose knows how to pick ‘em.”

“She’s right,” Fay turned that look onto his twin. Gid put his hands up defensively. “As someone who has your face, we don’t stand a chance in the looks department against Black. It’s just a fact. Add in that charming personality and Rose doesn’t stand a chance.”

“I don’t know, I think Black’s the one who didn’t stand a chance.” Mary was still observing the couple. She pointed at them, voicing her thoughts. “Rose at least manages to act like a normal person. Black though…he can’t take his eyes off her for more than five seconds. It’s kinda adorable.” She craned her head towards the twins. “So, what’d you find out?”

Gid sighed, leaning against the stone wall of the alley. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Mary turned completely towards him, a slightly shocked look on her face. She’d known the twins for years, had been working with them since she’d graduated, and was well aware of their talent for finding out information. If they found _nothing_ on the girl then there was something strange going on. “What do you mean _nothing_?”

“As in nothing.” Fay shrugged, still keeping an eye on the group. “The most we could find were adoption papers for the Potters. Sydney Rose, age 17, born in the States, arrived here a month ago, and supposedly is a Potter relation. That’s it. And we _dug_ , Mare. She doesn’t exist.”

Gid’s face turned wary. “Either Rose isn’t her real name or -“

“Someone erased her past.” Fabian finished. He turned so his back was now against the wall and faced Mary. “The only other thing we learned is she’s made some enemies in the month she’s been here.”

“Her?” Mary gave him an incredulous look and gestured to the lean girl who looked as if she weight nothing even if she was as tall as Potter. “ _That_ girl made enemies? With what? A gnome?”

“Bellatrix.” Mary inhaled sharply at Gid’s answer. Her eyes widened further as he continued. “Malfoy. LeStrange. And if what we heard through the Devil’s snare is true, she’s also been picking fights with the new Defense professor.”

“ _Her_?” She asked again in complete disbelief. Fay had the same reaction when he learned the long list of people after Rose’s head.

“According to Mundungus, there was a fight at the Weeping Witch last Friday. He says a dark haired girl with glasses _punched_ Malfoy in the face.” Gideon smirked at Mare as her jaw dropped. “Outran eight Death Eaters including Bellatrix and Greyback.”

Fabian mirrored Gid’s smirk, raising one eyebrow at her. “Now you see why I called dibs.”

“50/50.” Fay gave Mary a confused glance. “We get rid of Black and I’ll share her with you. I’m perfectly ok with getting at least _some_ of that girl.”

Gideon cut in with a sigh before Fabian could reply. “The two of you are impossible. No one is getting rid of Black and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t take either of you anyway. She’d most likely murder you for murdering Black.”

“Spoilsport.” Mary muttered, crossing her arms with a pout. “Always ruining my fun.”

“Someone has to.” Gid shot back jokingly.

“So you joining the tail, Mare?” Fay asked casually, glancing at her. She raised an eyebrow back at him as if it was the stupidest question he’d ever asked. He replied with a mischievous grin. It was time to learn more about their little Rose.

——

The group took a seat at the worn wooden table. Down one side, Remus, Sirius, and Peter sat down and on the other, I slid in between Lily and Jaimy. Glancing over my shoulder, I scanned the room. The entire day we’d been in Hogsmeade, I could’ve _sworn_ someone was watching me.

My scan revealed nothing though so I took a sip of the butterbeer Jaimy had slid in front of me, trying to relax. 

“Be right back.” I slipped out of my seat when a hand caught my wrist. Turning, I looked down at James with a raised eyebrow. “I’m heading to the bathroom, Jaimy. I’ll be right back.”

“Grab us another round on the way back.” He said, trying to play off the fact that he’d actually wanted to know where I was going.

“Aye, aye, Captain.” I saluted him mockingly, heading towards the back of the bar. I kept my pace steady, hoping that whoever _was_ watching me would take this opportunity to follow. Rounding the corner, I stood still against the wall and waited.

A scuff, very low and almost too soft to hear, reached my ears. Three, two, on -

“Omph.” Air blew out as I shoved the body into the brick wall, putting my wand against its throat. “If you wanted me against a wall, kid, all you had to do was ask.”

My eyes widened and I stepped back, realizing who I’d assaulted. “ _Fabian_? What the _hell_ are you doing?”

He smirked, pushing himself up before straightening his jacket. “I _was_ headed to the loo -“

“Liar. You’ve been following me,” I accused, poking him in the chest. He tried to back up a step but hit the wall again. “ _Why_ are you following me?”

“Look, kid -“

I glared harder at him, cutting him off. “ _Stop_ calling me kid. I’m not a _kid_ and you’re not _that_ much older than me.” Gripping his forearm, I pulled him down the hall. “Where the hell is your other half? _He’ll_ tell me.”

“Rose -“ Fabian tried to escape but I tightened my hold. They’d been _following_ me. Did Dumbledore set them on me? He couldn’t trust me to be in _Hogsmeade_ now? Letting my eyes run over the room, they narrowed as they landed on the red head. Weaving through the crowded room, I dragged my captive behind me. I heard him mutter to himself. "Merlin, _how_ do you get in those trousers?"

I blew an aggravated breath through my nose. The fucker had the _nerve_ to be looking at my ass right now. The two occupants at the table I stopped at jumped as I threw, literally _threw_ , Fabian into a seat. Putting my palms on the wooden table, I leaned towards Gideon and bared my teeth. “ _Explain_.”

Amber eyes were blown open in shock and glued on me. Gideon’s mouth opened and shut a few times but no words came out. His eyes shot to his twin across from him. Fabian put his hands up, eyes as wide as Gideon’s. “We - uh -“

“Have been following me all day. _Why_?” I hissed dangerously. The girl next to Gideon blinked, looking between us. “Did Dumbledore send you to watch me?”

“What - _no_.” Gideon sputtered, confused and still pretty scared of me. _Good_. He _should_ be scared right now. If - “We just stopped in -“

“For the butterbeer? Do better than that if you’re going to lie to me.” His eyebrows flew up, the cold tone of my voice sending a shiver up my own spine.

A musical voice cut in, causing my eyes to turn to it. “Moody’s with Dumbledore. We’re waiting for him.”

Narrowing my eyes, I looked her up and down. Dark hair, tanned skin, deep brown eyes that were almost black. The girl was _beautiful_. There was an exotic look to her that gave her an effortless beauty. She had on flared pants with a flowing top, similar to what Lily was wearing and had piercings lining up the cartilage of her left ear. “Who are you?”

Despite my rudeness, she answered quickly, give me a sly smile. “Mary Macdonald. And you must be Sydney. The boys haven’t been able to stop talking about you.”

Both redheads began protesting but Mary gave me her own once over then met my gaze. I blushed slightly at the heated look in her eye. The name was familiar, she’d been attacked by Mulciber while at Hogwarts and knew Lily. Besides that, I didn’t know much about her and how she played into the future. Seeing her with the Prewetts though hinted that she was involved somehow. “Really?”

Fabian answered a little too quickly. “ _No_ , we -“

“Love?”

I straightened up and turned to find Sirius a few steps from me, eyes roaming the table. He took the steps separating us and slid his hand to the small of my back, putting his focus on me. I felt a wave of tension roll out of me at the touch. We still weren’t back to normal yet but…it was getting there. I had craved the heat of him being near for so long that I automatically leaned closer to him. “Everything alright?”

Giving him a small smile, I nodded. “Yeah, we were just talking.”

His left eyebrow went up as his eyes flickered to the table. Fabian’s cocky voice butt in at that moment. “Yeah, Black. Just catching up. We go _way_ back.”

Sirius’ brows narrowed slightly and I sighed, tilting my head to give Fabian an exasperated look. “Two days is what you consider long? No wonder you can’t get a girl.”

Mary and Gideon burst out laughing as Fabian’s mouth hung open. A smirk spread over my face, feeling Sirius chuckle beside me. I looked up at the boy next to me and my heart skipped at the glee in his eyes. He inclined his head towards the Marauder’s table across the room. “Did you lot want to join us? Syd’s cousin, James Potter, was a little worried when she disappeared for so long. He’d probably love to catch up you all. Especially you, Macdonald. I think he’s still upset about that Slytherin lost last year when you narrowly missed the win.”

“Bloody cheaters.” Mary muttered against her bottle before taking a sip. I was a little surprised Sirius wanted them to join us. They had been Hogwarts students but I didn’t know that they actually _knew_ each other. Regardless, I wasn’t sure _I_ wanted them joining our table.

“They -“ I started and was smoothly cut off by Gideon.

“Would love to.” He gave me a pointed look. I bit my tongue, still pissed that they were lying about following me. I wasn’t oblivious, I had _felt_ them throughout the day. Gideon pushed back his chair, giving me a wink as he passed. Bastard.

We headed over to the table and the three newcomers pulled up chairs. I retook my seat between Lily and James, now practically smushed on either side. Jaimy threw his arm over the back of my chair to get more comfortable and enthusiastically greeted the others.

Lily waved Gideon over towards her so he’d be between her and Remus while Mary pulled up a chair next to Jaimy to discuss Quidditch. And Fabian -

Fabian sat his ass _right_ next to Sirius so I had to face _both_ of them. Lord, _what_ have a done in my past life? I _must_ have murdered some people to be _this_ unlucky. Now, all I needed was Regulus to join us and hell would be complete. I could see the stiffness in Sirius’ shoulders at the proximity of the Prewett brother.

Sirius glanced between the two of us, those stormy eyes suspicious. “So how exactly did you lot meet?”

Fabian leaned back in his chair, giving me a look which I took to mean this was _my_ problem. “They stopped by with Moody while I was training the other night on y- on Thursday.” Fabian cocked his head at the correction but Sirius just watched me. “We talked a little while he chatted with Dumbledore. Honestly, I barely know either of them.”

Which was completely true. There was little to go on from the books and they were never even mentioned in the movies from what I could remember. This was new territory for me. Mary included. I knew they were a part of the Order and the Prewetts were Molly’s brothers but other than that…nothing.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say we _barely_ know each other, Rose.” I narrowed my eyes slightly, reading between the words. Maybe I was paranoid but it _sounded_ like he meant they’d been looking into me. Which was _not_ a good thing. For either me or them. Fabian smirked, eyes flickering towards Sirius who kept his own on me. “You’re one of the first people to get the two of us right on their first try. That qualifies as _somewhat_ knowing us. Which _you_ never explained how you knew.”

My hands rested on the table, my finger began to push a stray hangnail back and forth. “Yes, I did. Wow, memory issues _and_ a warped sense of time. How _do_ you manage to function as an _adult_?”

“Oh, I manage just fine. If you really want, I can show you how well I _function_.” Amusement. That was fucking _amusement_ in his eyes as we talked. He was _enjoying_ the fact that he was messing with me. Taking a deep breath, I turned my gaze back to Sirius who was watching us carefully. His lips were pressed together tightly and I bit my own in frustration. The day wasn’t supposed to go like this. We were supposed to have a nice _relaxing_ day, Sirius and I were _getting along_ , and now…now Fabian was flirting with me in _front_ of Sirius.

“I’ll take your word for it.” I said dryly, shutting down his offer. Taking another sip of butterbeer, I saw the side of Sirius’ mouth tick upward slightly.

He turned his head to Fabian, his tone casual. “Why are you in Hogsmeade? I didn’t catch that bit.”

“Waiting for Moody. Him and Dumbledore like to gossip as much as they can. Figured we’d escape while we could and wander down here.” Fabian’s gleeful eyes glanced at me again. “See if we could find some _distraction_ while we waited.”

Sirius’ head tilted slightly, causing his hair to sway a bit and go over his eyes. He pushed it back with one hand, the strands falling back down but now further away from his vision. “Moody? As in Alastor Moody? The Auror?”

“That’s the one.” Taking a long drag of butterbeer, he turned his attention to Sirius. “We’re in Auror training. Gid and I are in our last year and Mare has two more to go. Lucky us, we got the crazy old man as our overseer.”

I pointedly looked at the dog collared boy to Fabian’s left. “You know, _Sirius_ wants to be an Auror.”

Fabian turned to the now blushing Sirius with an interested look. “Is that so?”

“I - Well, it was a thought -“ Sirius stuttered, surprised I’d sort of thrown him under the bus. Fabian launched into Auror training tales, eventually pulling both Mary and Gideon in to elaborate on the stories. The entire table listened as they recounted how they’d hunted down a wizard selling cursed objects to muggles.

“Kingsley was down -“ Fabian said.

“Moody had taken a hex to the head -“ Gideon continued.

“And then Mare pops up from behind him -“ Fabian grinned at the girl.

“Body-bound him before he could blink.” Gideon finished, leaning against the chair back. “ _That_ was a night. My pinkie _still_ doesn’t bend all the way.”

“If you’d actually _listened_ to the Healer, it would've.” Mary scolded gently. Listening to Fabian and Gideon tell a story was mind boggling but in a good way. My sisters had a similar way of finishing each others sentences but this…this was _wild_ to watch.

Remus sighed, breaking the thrall I was in from listening. Confused, I cocked my head slightly at him. He pointed out the window. When I turned, I saw people heading towards the castle. “Looks like our time’s up.”

“Well, I think you’ve recruited Sirius and I.” James said with a grin, shaking hands with Fabian then Mary then Gideon, a wide grin on his face. “Only a few more months, right Pads?”

“Hmm, we _are_ done around the time they finish.” Gideon rubbed his chin, looking between the two boys. “Might be able to put in a good word for you two with Moody.”

Sirius and James’ faces lit up, giving each other excited looks. We all started moving around the table towards the door and Fabian slid up next to me. “Especially if it gets us on Rose’s good side.”

I rolled my eyes, nudging the tall man. “It wouldn’t hurt. But don’t let me be the reason. James and Sirius are top of the class, they’d be incredible Aurors.”

Jaimy preened at the praise and even Sirius held himself a little straighter. Fabian threw a calculating glance at them as we emerged outside. We grouped outside the window, the air chiller than it had been when we arrived in town. Everyone said their goodbyes, the older three heading to Honeydukes to pick up a few things before meeting up with Moody. Remus and Sirius slipped back inside to head to the bathroom before we walked back. As Fabian and Gideon began to stroll off, Mary passed close by me and halted for a moment, leaning in.

“Any time you want to ditch Black,” Mary winked, a seductive tilt to her mouth. “Send me an owl.”

And owl? Did - what - _huh?_ Mary flounced off after the twins without a backwards glance. Turning, still slightly stunned, I found James giving me a questioning eyebrow. Opening my mouth a few times, I tried to explain. “She - me -“

Lily let out a laugh, picking up on what had occurred. My blush deepened at the looks the James and Peter gave the redhead. “I was wondering when she’d make a move. I’m surprised it wasn’t more dramatic.”

My jaw dropped. “You _knew_ she -“

“She’s more subtle than Fabian but yes. It was pretty obvious the moment they sat down.” Lily grinned, enjoying my confusion. At that moment, Remus and Sirius joined us again so Lily slipped her arm through mine, claiming me for the walk back. The boys fell into step behind us and Lily made sure to keep her voice down. “Clever of you though.”

I raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to elaborate. “Directing Fabian’s attention from you onto Sirius. And managing to get both James and Sirius a shot at their dream job. Did you plan that ahead of time or were you just lucky?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The smirk spreading on my face contradicted the innocent tone. I _had_ seen an opportunity to not only stop Fabian from flirting with me but also set up a possible in for Sirius. Fabian had said they were in their last year of Auror training which meant _two_ spots would be open when they were done. When we had talked about what Sirius wanted to do in the future while swimming, I could tell how much he _wanted_ to become an Auror. I completely understood it. If my family was as fucked up as his…well, I’d want to stop them too. “It was a mutual topic for them to discuss. Nothing more than that.”

Lily hummed knowingly. She glanced over her shoulder, giving me a questioning look when she turned her head back. “You and Sirius seemed to be…better.”

Besides the awkwardness of Fabian, I had to agree with Lily. The day had eased some of the tension that had been lingering over us. It was made even easier with the others acting as if things were normal. I was beyond grateful for them, it would’ve been a _long_ day if Sirius had remembered and asked me out.

I mean it would’ve been great because _fucking finally_ but also…awkward. It was too soon after he’d been with Jade for me to be comfortable going out with him. And would it be a rebound relationship? Especially, if what Lily had told me was true, he’d been using Jade to try and make me jealous? I glanced behind me, catching his eye and holding it for a long second before turning back, my heart beating faster.

But he hadn’t remembered. And I’d be damned if I admitted how much that sucked.

—-

“Pooch with wrinkles?” Lily asked out loud, nose scrunched up. The seventh year Gryffindors were scattered around their normal area with the addition of Frank and Dorcas who had snuck in after dinner. 

“Pug.” Syd replied, not looking up from her book. Lily scratched in the answer on her crossword. Sirius noted that Syd had only a few more pages to go and would mostly finish before the hour was up at the rate she was going.

Prongs threw the Quaffle up again and caught it from his horizontal position below them. They were still exhausted from Thursday night and the thought of being more active than this was tiring. Sirius turned the page in his Creatures textbook, looking for something else to put in his essay due this week.

They’d spent the rest of Saturday lounging around then all of today doing the assignments they _should’ve_ worked on on Thursday night. Unsurprisingly, Syd was finished everything. It seemed that in the past month, she’d gone from barely getting any of her homework done to being an overachiever and finishing days ahead of everyone else.

Sirius’ new Led Zeppelin record played softly in the background and a small smile kept creeping onto his lips when Syd’s low humming reached his ears. She did the same thing in Muggle Studies when Q played music. No words but she got every tune right in a low, barely there hum. Staring at the page in front of him, he allowed himself zone out and listen to her.

They’d had a good day yesterday - minus _Fabian_ \- his fist clenched slightly at the thought of that cocky wanker - and today had been good too. Not perfect but…better. He didn’t want to push too much, enjoying the moments he was able to steal throughout the day. Her letting him place his hand on the small of her back and _leaning in it_ yesterday, arms brushing each other during meals with Syd back in _her_ spot, and now…sitting together on the couch, her feet resting against his shin as he sat crossed legged across from her.

Amusement went through the alien tendril, startling Sirius out of his trance. Looking up, he saw Syd had a smirk on her face. Without tearing her eyes from her book, she answered his unspoken question. “You’ve been staring at that page for an hour. Did you get lost?”

He was about to answer when he realized they were the only two in the common room. The others must’ve head up to bed without him noticing. Syd finally tore her gaze from the pages, her smirk growing as she saw his surprised face. “Must’ve been one hell of a read.”

“Oh, yeah. Historical dragon hunts, I couldn’t stop.” He said sarcastically. Glancing down at her book, he realized her finger held a spot that was more towards the front than when he’d zoned out. “Did you start reading that again?”

Her head tilted down then back to his face, surprise written there. “I - well, yeah. It’s…really good. I know I said I’d lend it -“

“Whenever you’re done with it, love.” Sirius’ chest warmed as she bit her lip. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Should probably head to bed. Don’t want Slughorn to think we aren’t _excited_ about potions.”

She glared at him, clearly not amused. “You really need to let that go. I saved your ass from detention.”

“Never letting it go, love.” He pushed himself up, holding a hand out to help pull her up. Her smooth palm slid into his and he tightened his grip, pulling her gently after she placed the book in her bag with the rest of her things.

Syd gasped, her legs going out from under her. Automatically, Sirius caught her, pulling the lithe body against his. She grasped his forearms and tried to get her feet under her. “Sorry, my foot fell asleep.”

“No worries, love.” 

Sirius looked down at Syd, one hand resting on the small of her back and brushed a stray hair behind her ear. Her acacia cypress eyes ran over his face, one of her hands moving from his shoulder to rest on his chest -

_“Go to Hogsmeade with me.” His fingers brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “On a - a - whas the word? Date! A date.”_

_Her lips quirked up slightly. “You’re drunk, Sirius.”_

_“No, no,” He paused, closing his eyes for a moment then meeting hers again. “Well, yes but no. I’m single and I wan - wanna go to Hogsmeade. With you."_

_“I’ll make you a deal,” She said softly, the starburst of her irises glued to him. “If you remember this in the morning and ask me again, I’ll go with you.”_

Syd was looking worriedly at him and he stepped back, his stomach dropping through the floor. “Sirius, what’s wrong?”

“I -“ He _forgot_. He forgot to ask her. _Bloody hell_. He had a fucking chance to take her to Hogmeade - on a _date_ \- and he _forgot_. She hadn’t mentioned it. Hell, she hadn’t brought up a lot of things he did the past week like stealing the Map but this - “Nothing.”

She tilted her head, the shorter strands of hair which had escaped her bun falling across her high cheekbones. “You look like someone just broke your broom. Are you sure it’s nothing?”

Merlin, he was a fool. How could he possibly bring it up _now?_ He’d missed the opportunity to take her out and she’d _let_ him. He was aware of how drunk he’d been the other night but he must’ve been a complete mess if he didn’t even remember her _being there._

He’d make this up to her. Somehow. He _had_ to. “Just - uh, Prongs - we were supposed to - prank, right, prank things. I should see if he’s still up.”

Her eyebrows narrowed slightly, causing a furrow between them. He wanted to take his finger and smooth it out, take away that confusion on her face. Clenching his fingers to stop the urge, he backed up a step.

“Ok, then. Night, Sirius.” Syd pulled her bag onto her shoulder and brushed by him on her way up. The heat of her shoulder on his forearm lingered as he turned to watch her climb the stairs, Tux on her heels. As soon as he heard the door above click shut, he groaned and smacked himself in the face.

Berating himself silently, he grabbed his things and headed up. He opened the wooden door and once it was shut, leaned against it, smacking the back of his head in frustration.

“What’d you do this time?” Prongs was lying in his bed, leaning against the headboard, head cocked to the side.

“I’m an idiot.” Sirius groaned, walking towards his own bed and flopping face first into it. Moony chuckled next to him.

“We could’ve told you that. So? What was it? Actually said ‘I love you’ to her?” Moony raised an eyebrow with a shit eating grin.

“Did you accidentally call her ‘mum’?” Three flabbergasted faces turned to Worm who went red. He mumbled embarrassingly. “Not that that’s happened to me.”

Not wanting to go into _that_ can of flobberworms, Sirius rolled over with a grimace, his face now towards the curtains hanging over his bed. “Worse. Remember how I got plastered on my birthday?”

“Hard to forget. I’m surprised you woke up in the morning.” Prongs was now on his side, propping his head against his hand.

He tried to say it as casually as he could but even he could hear the disappointment in his voice. “Syd brought me up. And before that, I asked her to Hogsmeade.”

“ _WHAT?!_ ” The three other shouted. Prongs sprang out of bed and launched himself at Sirius. Moony had his mouth hanging open, book forgotten on his lap, and Worm’s eyes were about to pop out of his head.

Gripping Sirius’ shoulders, Prongs shook him slightly. “You _asked her out?!_ WHAT DID SHE BLOODY SAY? WHY IN THE NAME OF GODRIC'S SAGGY BALLSACK WERE YOU WITH _US_ YESTERDAY?!”

Sirius pushed him away and sat up, shoulders slumped. Leaning forward, he roughly pushed his hands through his hair. “Because I was _trashed_ when I asked. She…she said she’d go if…if I remembered in the morning.”

Prongs’ face dropped, realizing what had happened. “Shite, Pads.”

“It’s been three days, Prongs! I didn’t fucking remember for _three days!_ ” Flinging himself back onto his bed, he put his hands over his face with a groan. “I’m a tosser. An absolute _tosser_. How can she even _look_ at me?”

A snort had Sirius and Prongs turning with wide eyes to the right. Moony was pressing his lips together, trying not to laugh. “This is _funny_ to you?”

“It is when -“ Moony let out a laugh. “I won.”

Worm frowned from his bed as Sirius gaped at the gleeful werewolf. “I thought you said it would take him four days.”

“I didn’t specify how many days.” Moony grinned at the smaller boy before turning towards the left. “I just bet Pads wouldn’t remember until it was too late.”

“You -“ Sirius started when Prongs cut him off.

“Damn it, we really need to start making you put specifics on your bets. I’m going to lose my whole stash if this keeps up.” With a wave of his wand, Prongs caught the bag of Honeydukes chocolate that flew from his trunk. He threw it at the werewolf with a sigh. Sirius smacked the back of his hand against Prongs’ shoulder. “What? Don’t act like you’re surprised.”

Worm threw his own debt onto Moony’s bed. Sirius shook his head in disbelief. “Some best mates you lot are. _None_ of you thought to tell me?”

“We can’t do _everything_ for you, Pads. You need to start being more responsible.” Moony had a satisfied look as he bit into a chocolate frog. “You woke us all up when Syd put you to bed. Especially when you tried to shove me out of _my_ bed. Lily filled in the blanks.”

“Guess we’re moving the wedding to summer.” Prongs sighed with disappointment. “I was really looking forward to the fireworks display, too.”

“Think we can get our money back on the tuxes?” Worm asked, snuggling back under his covers.

Sirius glared at each of them. “I’m getting new best mates.”

Prongs snorted, smacking a pillow at Sirius’ shoulder. “Good luck finding anyone else who would put up with your dim self. Oh, wait. You have Syd for that - _OMPH_.”

The bespectacled boy rubbed his head, looking up at the dark haired boy above him with annoyance. It was only a heartbeat later that Prongs lunged.

Moony just shook his head with a grin, taking another bite of his chocolate frog, as Sirius and James tumbled off the other side of Sirius’ bed with a shout.

Bloody awful best mates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am insanely busy so I kept getting distracted while writing this but OH MY GOD IT WAS SO FUN. Just UGH. Also my brain is officially calling James - Jaimy, Fabian - Fay, Gideon - Gid, and Mary - Mare. It's done. I can't switch it off.
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos, comments, and love. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	30. Hold On

My eyes started sliding shut again as Professor Flitwick droned on. It was the most boring class and the hardest to stay awake in, even if I really did need to learn more spells. The potion I’d taken a month ago had sort of downloaded spells into my brain and it was like I’d known them my whole life which if we’re getting technical, I _did_ but I’d never used magic until I arrived here.

Dumbledore had said I was the one who came up with the potion too. Now _that_ seemed like a complete lie especially since I’d almost blown myself up in Potions this morning. _Again_. If it wasn’t for Severus, I’d be in pieces right now. He’d done the same thing he had when Sirius had tried to duel him, just gently grabbed my wrist to stop me from pouring the wrong ingredient. It seemed that he was keeping an eye on me during class while he did his own work.

“ _Powdered_ dragon hide, not chopped.” He’d corrected me quietly. I frowned slightly as he released his grip and I reread the directions. He was right, of course. Subtly, he slid the powdered ingredient closer to me.

“Thanks.” He nodded once then continued his work, both of us falling into companionable silence.

Until he started up the conversation again.

“You and Black seemed to be on better terms.” His hand stirred his cauldron methodically. Severus kept his eyes on the swirling potion, his voice low, trying to not draw attention to us.

“We are.” I answered just as quietly while copying his motions. The counter-clockwise movement was kind of hypnotizing. Blinking, I shook my head then glanced around the room. Everyone was chatting while they stirred.

“I’m surprised you’d forgive him so easily.” The disappointment evident in his voice. Raising an eyebrow, I gave him a look. He kept his eyes down though and didn’t meet my glance. “With the way he soiled your reputation.”

A snort escaped from me and he finally looked over. I couldn’t help the smirk on my lips. “Trust me, my reputation is the _least_ of my concerns.”

A small frown was on his lips but he stayed silent. Sighing, I tried to explain myself even though I really didn’t need to. I wanted Severus to trust me a little bit more and being open with him might be the way to do that. “I have bigger things to worry about. And _I_ know I’m not _shagging_ anything that moves. I’m not saying it’s not pissing me off but…Sirius was hurt and lashed out. I can’t blame him either. I do the same thing when I’m upset so I understand where he’s coming from. I forgave him because he sincerely apologized for it. He can’t take back what he did but he’s trying to make up for it.”

“And you believe him? That he didn’t mean to call you a whore?” Severus sneered, his eyes flashing angrily.

“Yes.” I replied with no hesitation. His jaw moved, like he was grinding his teeth together. Interesting. He seemed pretty pissed that I would forgive Sirius. “It’s hard to explain but it’s a - a gut feeling. Like how I believed _you_ when you said I could trust you…for now.”

His eyes narrowed slightly and I continued speaking softly, stirring my potion slowly. “We’re human, Sev. We make mistakes and Sirius apologized for his. There are things we can never take back but…we try to make them better and try to redeem ourselves. It’s when we stop trying to fix our mistakes that we’re truly lost. When we give in to that hurt feeling, let the pain and anger take over everything else, when we don’t _care_ anymore…that’s where the trust ends. Do you still care, Sev?”

Severus pursed his lips at my question. Sometimes my mouth just spouted out my thoughts without thinking about what I saying. It was all true, all these thoughts, but…it was a little heavy for the middle of Potions. I wanted to gauge where he was though. I wanted him to know there was a way back even if he went too far. After a few moments of silence, he answered.

“I do.” His admission sounded disgruntled, like he didn’t want to admit it. A relived sigh slipped out and I glanced over at him. “I don’t want to but yes, I still care about - about things.”

His eyes flickered towards a head of red hair with a bit of guilt. I still needed to get a better idea of how Lily felt about Sev. Clearly he still had feelings but from what I could tell, they weren’t _in love_ feelings. He didn’t pine or stare longingly at her as if she hung on the moon like James did. 

I wondered for the first time what Severus’ sexuality was. In my world and time, there was a name for every sexuality and everything in between them. Personally, I was still figuring out where I fell. I tended to lean towards men but there were a few women _cough_ Mary _cough_ who caught my eye. And of course there was the whole Sirius thing.

Here though, no one talked about it. Things just happened between people and that was that. It was a relief to be honest, not to be questioned about who or what I liked extensively, to not have it be a topic of conversation as if it was a _debate_ on whether it was ok to be sexually attracted to people or to not be. Back home, with LGBTQ+ movements and the prejudice against the community that was still happening, it felt as though I discussed it at least once a week. Love was love and my only problem with anyone was if they tried to _force_ their beliefs or themselves onto me or my friends.

I was still curious though. Severus didn’t seem as if he was _attracted_ to Lily. Maybe he was good at hiding it or maybe he wasn’t attracted to her physically. I’d have to ask Lily about it because I had a feeling if I _ever_ brought it up to Sev, he’d shut down immediately and I’d lose any progress I had made with him over the last month.

“Good.” I replied quietly, giving him a soft smile. “That’s good to know.”

We fell back into silence for the rest of class. I managed to finish my potion unscathed and once we were dismissed, Severus swept out of the room as quickly as he could. I still had time to get him onto our side. The relief at that knowledge lifted a smidgen of weight off my shoulders.

A nudge to my ribs snapped me out of my daze. Turning towards the culprit, I glared light heartedly at the werewolf. He smirked back, not sorry whatsoever that he’d scared me. “Lunch. Unless you want to hang out here all day?”

“No, thank you.” I quickly gathered my things, not wanting to be in the classroom another moment. Falling into step with Remus, we led the others out and towards the Hall.

Taking our seats, we fell into our usual chatter when Remus took out a book from his bag and I froze in horror. My cup slipped from my hand, dropping on the table and then soaking my lap. I didn’t even flinch as my skirt was soaked and everyone around me stared at me with confusion. 

He _didn’t_.

Oh but he _did_. When his eyes met mine, the tawny haired boy gave me the most _shit-eating grin_ I’d ever seen. “Remus John Lupin -“

“My mum sent it yesterday. I’m surprised you didn’t see it delivered at breakfast.” Remus raised one eyebrow mockingly as the table looked between the two of us. “I sent her an owl last week when you mentioned it. Seemed like _too_ good of a story to pass up.”

Keeping eye contact, trying not to show my intentions, I squinted slightly then sprung.

Unfortunately, werewolf reflexes are too fast for me. The book disappeared behind his back as my fingers snatched at the air in front of him. Glaring, I growled. “Give me the book, Lupin.”

“When I’m done, Rose. I’m just getting to the good part. You know, the part where - _OMPH_.” Remus was cut off as I _launched_ over the table, taking him to the ground. The book fell out of his hands as he tried to soften the fall by catching himself and it skid under the table right to Sirius’ feet. Peter leaned down and picked it up, turning _Flowers in the Attic_ over to read the back cover.

“Have you completely _lost_ it?” Lily asked above us in confusion. I tried to get up but Remus grabbed me by the middle and pulled me back down as Sirius leaned over Peter’s shoulder to read with him.

“Lily! Get the book! Burn it!” I pleaded, trying to untangle myself. Remus growled as I elbowed him in the gut but didn’t let go.

“Who did you think I was giving it to next?” Remus taunted in my ear. I whipped my head around, eyes wide with horror. He grinned evilly as I gaped at him. “Oh, I’m making sure we _all_ read it. Since you seem so intent on getting rid of it.”

“You’re a terrible person, Lupin.” I grumbled, sagging in defeat.

“Don’t worry, Syd. I’ll only make incest jokes a minimum of once a day.” He chuckled, the sound vibrating against my back. 

James, hearing that last bit, glared at the tall boy holding me. “Why do I feel like you lot _want_ Syd and I to get together?”

“We need new friends, Jaimy.” Pouting, Remus picked me up and deposited me on the bench next to Lily where I glared at the table. Peter passed the book over to Remus who tucked it safely away in his vest.

“There’s only a few months left of school, I think we can manage without friends for that long.” He countered, continuing to shoot daggers at Remus.

Sirius grinned looking between them. “Oh, mate, I think that would just make it worse. The two of you hanging out with each other all the time? At least with us, it doesn’t look like you’re both obsessed with each other.”

I lifted my head slowly, turning my glare on him. “Says the one who is _actually_ a product of incest. You might want to watch it, darling.”

He winked at me with a smirk. The smug bastard. “Never said I was against it.”

Seven sets of eyes widened in shock, staring at the dog collared boy who looked a little too amused. I raised one finger, pursing my lips for a moment before speaking slowly. “If you _ever_ suggest a threesome with me and Jaimy, I will cut your dick off with a rusty spoon.”

“Aw, now you’re giving me ideas. I _knew_ you were -“ A _splat_ cut him off. The group collectively held their breath as mashed potatoes slid off of both the side and front of Sirius’ face to land in his lap. James and I put our spoons down in tandem, the metal clinking against the wood.

Squinting dangerously at the potato covered boy, I growled. “I want a divorce.”

——

Biting my lip, I followed Sirius out of Muggle Studies then slipped up next to him. He brushed his shoulder against mine, almost unconsciously then tilted his head towards me. “What is it, love?”

Slightly thrown off by him knowing I wanted to ask him something, I brushed it off and plunged right in before I lost my nerve. “Can we try fly lessons again?”

His footsteps halted and turned to face me fully as I stopped with him. Meeting my eyes, he seemed to be searching for a reason behind my request. Pressing my lips together, I tried to explain why _now_. “I think I’m ready. And if I’m not, I want to know that too. I won’t _really_ know until I get back on a broom. And…I want to do it. With you.”

And I'd be _damned_ if I let Bellatrix get the best of me.

He gulped, seeming to feel the heaviness of the conversation. “You trust me? After -“

“With my life.” I replied instantly. Something sparked in those gray eyes, like the light flicking on in a lighthouse on a stormy night. My chest felt a little lighter at the look. “Please?”

“O-of course, love. We can do it tomorrow. While Moony tutors Emmy.” He suggested, running a hand through his hair. I gave him a genuine smile, happy he’d agreed, and he returned it before we began walking back to the Tower.

On the way there, a few students passed us. One Hufflepuff boy walked a little too close to us and as he went by, his book rammed into Sirius’ shoulder. A sharp pain went through my left shoulder at the same moment, my hand shooting to grasp it in bewilderment.

“Sorry, Black.” The Hufflepuff apologized, picking up the textbook from where it had fallen to the floor. Sirius was turned away from me as I tried to figure out what just happened. They talked for a moment but I couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying.

Pulling the collar of my shirt, I peered at my skin but there was nothing there. It was the same old pale skin. But I _felt_ that pain. Just like -

Like a book ramming into my shoulder.

What the _hell_ -

“Love? What are you doing?” I looked up to find Sirius watching me curiously. Looking once more at shoulder, I shook my head, trying to find the words to explain. I would sound _crazy_ if I tried to explain it though.

“Nothing.” I replied, deciding not to share. Sirius glanced at my shoulder then back to my eyes. I had a feeling he didn’t believe me. “Hey, I meant to ask you. That day Jaimy and co. tore apart the castle looking for me, he said you disappeared with the map. Where did you go?”

——

Shite, shite, shite. He knew she was asking to distract him from what she’d been doing. That confusion still lingered in the tether and was slowly being overpowered by curiosity. Damn it, she was good.

“I was wandering around.” He shrugged and continued their walk to the Tower. He felt a sliver of annoyance as she caught up with him. No way in _hell_ was he admitting to where he had really been that day. “Figured you wanted space so I took the Map to make sure we wouldn’t run into each other.”

Her head tilted to the right, contemplating his answer. He bit his lip as a bit of sadness went through the tether, most likely from him saying he had wanted to avoid her. If she _actually_ knew though - oh Merlin, he would never live it down.

“Probably a good idea,” She admitted. “I might’ve given you a black eye.”

“Probably,” He quickly changed the subject to the Muggle Studies lesson they’d just left, into safe territory.

Sirius was still a bit embarrassed over that day. After insulting her, he’d gone to Poppy to have his nose realigned. Luckily, he’d managed to avoid Jade tagging along since she’d already pissed off Q that day. Once fixed, he’d snuck into the dorm and grabbed the Cloak and the Map.

Then found Syd.

He’d spent the _entire afternoon_ sitting in the barn on a bale of hay, hidden by the Cloak, and watched her. Tux had come over to investigate and after a few scratches, had settled down next to him to sleep.

It was not his proudest moment. He should’ve apologized then. Or at some point during the hours he spent watching her. But…he didn’t. Instead, he allowed himself to be swallowed by the pool of self loathing always lingering inside him as he creepily sat in the shadows essentially stalking the girl he loved. By the time he’d clawed his way out of that dark place, she was heading towards the castle.

But not in a million years would he _ever_ tell her.

They entered the common room, Tux running up to greet them enthusiastically. Syd turned to him with bright eyes. “Oh, I finished my book. Let me grab it for you before I forget.”

Without waiting for a reply, she sprinted up the girls’ staircase. As soon as her dark hair disappeared around the corner, he fell into his normal spot on the couch and sighed. Tux plopped his head in Sirius’ lap, giving him a hopeful look. Eerily, he couldn’t help but feel that _that_ was the way he looked at Syd most of the time.

Merlin, he was screwed.

——

James turned his head to the side, popping a crick in his neck. Sighing at the relief, he stepped up to the Fat Lady and gave her the password. Prefect Duty was beyond boring but _someone_ needed to do it. If only it had been with Lily -

James heard the sobs as soon as the door to the Common Room cracked open. Quickening his steps, he scanned the room but it seemed empty. Until another cry reached his ears. From the couch.

Rushing over, James’ heart clenched at the sight. Syd had a blanket hastily thrown over her, twisted around her legs, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed against the pillow. It was clear she was still asleep but stuck in some nightmare. As gently as he could, worried he’d scare her more, he grasped her shoulder. “Syd. Syd, wake up!”

She jerked back into the cushions, her eyelids flying open and her eyes rapidly shooting around the room before meeting his. Air rushed in and out of her so fast, he worried she would pass out.

“Jaimy?” The desperate, broken tone of her voice made his breath falter. She’d _never_ sounded like that and it broke his heart hearing it. Before he could blink, she launched herself towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck like a vice. One arm went around her waist to support her as she clung to him, her knees still on the couch. “ _Jaimy_.”

“Shhhh,” He held her close as he eased them onto the couch. Syd held on, her body shaking in the aftershock of whatever had been in her nightmare. James sat with her on top of him, her face buried against his neck, and ran a hand soothingly up and down her back. “It was just a nightmare, Syd. You’re ok.”

More sobs ripped from her throat, shredding James’ soul. He felt the hot air of those cries against neck and chest and pulled his cousin closer, trying to reassure her that she was ok. Quietly, between the sobs, James heard her stutter. “Y-you wer -“ A sharp intake a breath. “W-weren’t.”

“I’m right here, Syd. I’m _fine_.” James replied against the top of her head, his cheek pressed against her skull. She leaned back, only letting enough space between them to be able to meet his eyes, to search them desperately. The look there, as if she didn’t trust herself, pained him. The hand that had been rubbing her back moved to cup her face, holding it gently to wipe a trail of tears away. “Syd, _we_ are safe. Everyone is safe.”

His dark haired cousin nodded, causing tears to spill where he’d just wiped a few away. “I can’t - Jaimy, I wouldn’t - God, if you -“ She sucked in a shaky breath, trying to gain control back. “I couldn’t survive without you.”

“Same here, you nutter.” A short laughed escaped her. She leaned her forehead against his collarbone, her breath slowly going back to a normal pace. “I’m not sure I remember how to be me without you.”

“Is it weird that I feel like that too?” She whispered softly. “My life before you, before all of you, feels like a dream. This is…this is the most alive I’ve ever felt. Even with almost being killed every other week.”

He laughed, squeezing her as she giggled next to him. Still grinning, he shook his head. “I don’t think it’s weird. It feels…right. You were meant to be here, with me. With _us_. But mostly me.”

“Mmmm, don’t let the others hear you,” She teased, pulling the blanket he’d thrown over them closer to her neck. “Or we’ll never hear the end of the incest jokes.”

“They’re just jealous.” James replied cockily. He wasn’t lying though. Syd filled a missing piece of him that he didn’t know was missing. She fit _seamlessly_ into his life, into all of their lives. He couldn’t remember life without her, couldn’t remember what was important in that life. Because that’s what it was. _That_ life, not this one. The one without Syd and the one _with_ Syd. And the one with her…it was the one he wanted without a doubt. The one he’d choose every time.

Because she wasn’t just his cousin, she was _part_ of him. Seeing her so scared of losing him, seeing that look in her eyes when she was pulled from that nightmare, _hurt_. That he could cause that kind of pain in her, even in a dream death, was one of the worst things he’d ever felt in his life.

Knowing she felt the same connection, it confirmed his belief that she had come into his life for a reason. She was meant to shape _this_ life of his. 

He’d meant it that day by the beech tree. He trusted her _with his life._

And he would protect her from harm if it was the last thing he ever did.

Carefully, feeling the bone tiredness in her, he maneuvered them so his back was against the couch, head towards the tower staircases. She laid against his right side, her head slotting against his neck and his arm wrapped around her. “Sleep, Syd. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“Thanks, Jaimy.” She murmured. 

He felt a bit of wetness seeping into the collar on his shirt and kissed the top of her head. “Any time, Syd. Any time.”

——

Lily waited. And waited. Peeking around the corner, she saw the top of James’ head over the back of the couch, his glasses reflecting the firelight. She’d heard the cries from the dorm room seven flights of stairs away and sprung out of bed as fast as she could. By the time she’d reached the last few steps, James had already gathered the scared girl into his arms. She had listened as he’d soothed his cousin, Lily’s own heart breaking over Syd’s voice.

It seemed like they had settled down, that Syd had finally fallen asleep and Lily hoped that she was right as she tiptoed towards the couch. Brown eyes met hers as she made it within a foot of the cousins.

“Is she…?” Lily whispered, not wanting to finish her sentence for fear of waking Syd up if she _was_ sleeping. James nodded gently then tilted his head in invitation to come to the other side of the couch. She moved as silent as the grave, her steps barely making a sound as she perched on the coffee table next to them. Her eyes landed on Syd and felt her face go slack with relief. Her best friend was tightly curled around James, her face pressed against his neck, her glasses tilted to the side. Lily was grateful for the comfort James gave Syd, evident in her now peaceful sleep.

“I’d take her up but I don’t want her to wake,” James whispered, eyes on the sleeping girl.

“She’s slept on the couch before, she’ll be fine.” Lily reassured him. He gave her a soft smile that had her heart beating faster. She bit her lip as she thought over how to ask James about Syd. It was something that had been plaguing her for days. Weeks actually. Ever since she’d first heard Syd cry out in her sleep that first week. “Do you...” Lily rubbed her forehead. “This is an odd question but do you have Seer blood in your family?”

James’ eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Seer blood? Not that I know of, why?”

“Syd,” She gestured to the sleeping dark haired girl. “She’s been having nightmares for a while. And well, she’s talking in her sleep. She’s been...James, she’s been saying our names. You, Sirius, Remus…me.”

“What?” James hissed harshly enough that Lily was worried he’d woken Syd when she moved a little. Luckily, her best friend stayed asleep. Guilty, James whispered his question again. “What?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything to her. Clearly, they’re...pretty bad. She wakes up sweating and on the verge of a panic attack.” Lily met James’ eyes. “Sometimes she’s crying. I just though that maybe...maybe she’s Seeing something in her sleep. Something to do with us. Like…the one tonight.”

“Dad’s never said anything about having Seer blood.” James glanced down at Syd, furrowing his brow. “But you think she’s seeing...what? Our deaths?”

“Maybe?” Lily shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’m worried about her though. She barely sleeps and forgets to eat half the time we’re at meals -”

“I have to give Padfoot credit for catching that.” James muttered. Lily stopped and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice him putting food on her plate. I thought it was some weird thing with him being obsessed with Syd but I realized he was putting it there because she _didn’t_. It was only when he was with Jade that I picked up on it.”

“And now he’s not so she’s eating normal again.” Lily bit her lip in thought. They’d have to keep a careful eye on her if Sirius ended up dating someone else. The forgetfulness never seemed intentional, Syd just got caught up in her thoughts a lot and forgot that eating was a thing. Lily had seen the girl pack away platefuls of food _when_ she was paying attention. When she wasn’t, when she was lost in her mind, she barely touched anything except her coffee. “Are they any closer to -?”

“I was going to ask _you_ that.” James said, grimacing a little. “Padfoot’s been beating himself up over the birthday fiasco or whatever you want to call it.”

“As well he should,” Lily grumbled. He shot a raised eyebrow at the tone and she sighed. “Syd was…I think she was pretty hopeful he’d remember.”

James thunked his head against the couch arm with a low groan. “I love Pads but I’d also love to toss him out the dorm window.”

“You and me both.” She looked down at the sleeping girl again. “There’s still the not-sleeping issue though. I wish she’d ask Pompfrey for something to help.”

James sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up. “Unless you want to try and drag her to Poppy, I don’t see an answer to that one.”

They fell silent, both watching Syd as she slept, the rise and fall of her chest even and steady. Lily _hated_ not being able to help her best friend. She knew Syd would deny the nightmares or that she needed help but it didn’t stop Lily from wanting to do _something_ to ease the anxiety that Syd had from those dreams. Her gaze flickered towards James, watching him instead for a moment.

She’d never seen him like this. So…caring. Worried. _Loving_. And it made her feel…a little jealous. She _knew_ , absolutely knew, that the cousins’ relationship was purely familial but that tiny twinge of jealousy was still there. Lily wanted someone to care about _her_ that much. The two of them may argue and throw quips and wrestle to the point where one could be seriously injured but…they _cared_ for each other. They had a bond that was unbreakable. It was something that Lily hadn’t had in a long time. Something she had lost with Petunia and seeing it here, in James and Sydney, made her feel the loss of it once again.

She noticed James’ eyelids slipping closed, springing back open to only fall once more. Smiling softly, she whispered to him. “I’m going to head up. We can talk about it on Prefect duty tomorrow.”

“Mmm.” James hummed, eyes falling shut again.

“Goodnight, Jaimy.” Lily rested her hand on his shoulder gently. He smiled sleepily at her causing her heart to soften a little more.

“Night, Lily.” No Lilikins. No Lily pad. No Love of My Life. Just Lily.

Tiptoeing back towards the stairs, Lily halted in shock, the words she’d said catching up with her. _Shite_. She’d called him _Jaimy_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I have been reading your comments while I had a bit of writers block/been super busy and they were FANTASTIC. But seriously, thank you guys for reading.
> 
> ALSO THE JILY. I was stuck on Sad Jily tiktok Saturday and needed some cute Jilyness.
> 
> Happy belated birthday Sirius. I had planned to write this yesterday and then post but was SO DISTRACTED by the election 😔 and still am. I ended up spending the ENTIRE DAY rereading my whole fic.
> 
> But now I have ideas...
> 
> MWAHAHA lol
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos, comments, and love. Stay safe and healthy 💙


	31. Therefore I Am

James heard the giggles filter into his brain, slowly waking him up. As he tried to lift his right arm to rub his eyes, he realized it was stuck.

Under Syd.

Using his left hand, he rubbed his face and squinted against the bright light in the Common Room. Several younger students were giggling as they passed the two seventh years on the couch, whispering to each other as they left. James sighed, already over this day.

“So will you be taking Rose for your last name or is she taking Potter? Need to make sure I get the right name for your wedding gift.” A gruff voice asked to his left. Craning his neck, he found Padfoot looking worse for wear in Moony’s armchair.

“Put Black, you wanker.” James grumbled. He was about to close his eyes when he looked back over at Padfoot questioningly. “Why do you look like you got hit by a chimera?”

Padfoot rubbed his temple, grimacing like he was in pain. “Barely slept. I’d say it was nightmares but I have no idea what they were about. Just felt bloody terrified.”

“Mmm, sorry bout that.” James was about to tell him that Syd had the same issue but stopped himself. Lily had told him that Syd was having nightmares almost every night. _Padfoot_ , although he couldn’t remember what they were about, had been waking up from nightmares for about a week and a half. Ever since -

“Shhh, sleep.” Syd mumbled from his neck. Padfoot chuckled, a soft smile gracing his lips at the sound of her. James smiled too, feeling a little lighter at seeing Padfoot smile. His best mate was a mess on his best days, years of mental and physical abuse at home had caused him to doubt himself more often than not. Oh, Pads _acted_ like he was Merlin’s gift to Earth but James saw the moments where that mask slipped. Seeing Padfoot _smile_ at something so simple, even when he looked like death, was something James would never take for granted.

“We’ve got a date with Minnie, love. Time to get up.” Padfoot stood, walking the few steps over to them to sit on the coffee table like Lily had the night before.

Syd huffed against his neck. “That better have been Sirius that called me love. If you start calling me love, Jaimy, I swear to God -“

James scoffed, offended by the _idea_ of calling her love. Not only would Pads kill him, he’d kill _himself_ for doing it. “Never, nutter. Lily is the only one with that honor.”

“Good.” Squinting her eyes open, they landed on Pads and she frowned at him. Without speaking, she flung her hand out across James’ chest and made a grabbing motion towards Pads.

With a raised eyebrow, Padfoot grasped her hand and she _yanked_ him towards them. Padfoot landed on top of the two of them with an oomph, awkwardly trying not to smush her or knee James in any sensitive areas. “Love, I thought you said no threesomes.”

“Changed my mind.” Syd yawned, moving closer to James, opening a tight spot between her and the back of the couch. Shaking his head, Padfoot waved his wand to transfigure the couch to be a bit larger to fit the three of them. Sliding behind Syd, he rolled his eyes at James who returned the look. The dark haired girl’s hand snatched Padfoot’s left one and pulled it closer to her, forcing him to settle against her back.

Seemed like Syd was a bit clingy in the morning.

Before they knew it, Syd was asleep once again, her breathing evening out and her face relaxing. Padfoot yawned, letting his own eyes close and, similar to Syd, fell into a deep sleep within minutes. James’ heart clenched at the sight.

A soft cough directed his attention to the red head behind the couch and Lily raised one eyebrow in amusement. “I thought she said no threesomes.”

James chuckled quietly at the joke but turned somber a moment later. “I think she’s still a little shaken from last night.”

Lily’s face turned down at his observation. She looked worriedly at the girl between the boys, biting her lip. Tilting her head to the side, she turned her attention back towards James. “I’ll grab coffee for you lot. Let them sleep. Merlin knows they need it.”

“Thanks, Lily.” Lily graced him with a small smile which he returned. She slipped out of the portrait as James let his own eyes close again, content to sleep just a bit longer. He knew his team would've seen him on the couch and taken the opportunity to sleep in themselves so he wasn’t worried about practice. The thought of trying to steer his broom right now was painful. He was _exhausted_ from last night. Not that he’d ever regret staying up with Syd or talking to Lily but being that stressed over his cousin had been draining. It was an odd feeling for James. No one had ever made him worry as much as Syd did. Maybe just a few more minutes of sleep before Minnie’s class would clear his head a little.

—-

Remus followed Lily back towards the Common Room with Tux at his side, carrying two mugs of coffee. Worm trailed behind them, ladled with muffins for their sleepy friends. Or more likely for Syd, specifically. Remus hadn’t said anything to the shorter boy but he’d been noticing the oddness between Worm and Syd.

When Syd had said not to trust Wormtail, his immediate reaction was disbelief. Not trust _Wormtail?_ Of all of the Marauders, Remus hated to admit it but Padfoot would be the one not to trust if he thought about it. Remus loved Pads, truly he did, but Pads had a _lot_ of anger issues that sometimes made him do incredibly stupid things. Like the incident 5th year with Snape. And essentially calling Syd a whore to her face.

But Wormtail? How could the small, easily swayed boy be untrustworthy? He _adored_ Prongs and Padfoot, he would do anything for them. The idea that Worm would do anything to betray them was…baffling.

As the days passed, Remus started noticing something though. Worm would _watch_ Syd when he thought she wasn’t looking. It seemed like he was cataloging her movements, her words, to dissect them later. Syd either didn’t notice the attention, was distracted by her own problems, or…she knew and was purposely ignoring Wormtail.

Remus was leaning towards the third option.

With how observant Syd was, it was unlikely that she _hadn’t_ noticed it at some point. Syd had _no_ interest in the smaller boy though. She barely acknowledged him in the group. Not maliciously either. If anything, it appeared as though she was _forcing_ herself to be neutral towards Worm. There were little flickers that passed over her face that went by so fast, Remus had to question if they were really there.

They were though. It happened too many times to be a coincidence. Disgust, annoyance, even rage at the dirty blond boy and Worm never saw it.

Poor Worm though. He didn’t stand a chance against Padfoot when it came to Syd. 

Actually, _no one_ stood a chance. Watching Fabian then Mary hit on Syd the other day had been _wild_. Pads was on thin ice with Syd so he hadn’t been his normal jealous self but _Syd_ had brushed off both potential suitors while eyeing Padfoot the entire time. If only Padfoot could see that she was as obsessed with him as he was with her.

And never had Remus been more glad to _not_ be attracted to Syd. At least, not at the moment. It wasn’t even _fair_ to anyone trying to get her attention.

They reached the portrait hole and ducked inside to see the three seventh years still on the couch. Prongs and Padfoot were awake, talking quietly over Syd’s head as she slept soundly. The two boys looked towards the opening portrait simultaneously.

Carefully, Prongs turned so his back was against the pillow beneath him and slowly pushed himself into a better position. Syd compensated automatically, snuggling into Prongs’ ribs. When Padfoot tried to move into a similar position though, Syd frowned and yanked him closer to her. Remus shook his head in amusement at the three of them.

It was Godric damned _adorable_ seeing them like that. Padfoot sighed and propped his head against his other hand, the one not being held captive by Syd. Lily passed James a mug of coffee and he smiled gratefully at her. And - _woah_. Remus almost had to do a double take. Lily _blushed_ at the smile but James’ attention was already on his mug so he didn’t catch it.

 _What_ in Merlin’s name was going _on?_

Remus shook his head, taking a seat in his normal chair, placing the second mug right next to Lily’s extra one on the coffee table, making sure it was within reach of the sleepy trio. Lily settled across from him and sipped her mug contently, keeping her gaze on Prongs but gave a pointed glance at the sleeping girl. “Are we getting up today?”

Prongs replied quietly, careful not to disturb his cousin. “I’d leave her here for Minnie’s class but she’ll probably wake up as soon as I move.”

“We could just _all_ skip. Although Minnie would probably be devastated if we did.” Padfoot joked, running his free hand through his disheveled hair. “Hey, Worm. Can you throw me a muffin?”

Wormtail, always happy to oblige, tossed one of the muffins from his hoard towards Padfoot.

Unfortunately the throw was a little short.

“WHAUCK?!” Syd flailed the second the muffin touched her face. Padfoot let out a pained groan behind her, letting his head plant into the pillow. Confused and groggy, Syd looked at each of them in turn, trying to figure out where she was. At a second muffled groan, she peered over her shoulder towards the boy beside her. “Sorry! Sorry! Shit, what the fuck was that?”

Prongs grinned, holding up the offensive food. “Breakfast. Morning, nutter.”

“ _Asshole_ ,” She hissed, snatching it from him then tossed it with surprising accuracy into the fireplace. “Did you drop a _muffin_ on my face?”

Both of Prongs’ eyebrows shot straight up at the aggressiveness but the smirk stayed firmly on his face, finding her reaction entertaining. “Merlin, you’re charming in the morning. No, that was courtesy of Worm. He doesn’t have the best hand-eye coordination.”

Syd’s head whipped towards Wormtail who’s face had gone several shades lighter. “S-sorry, Syd. It-t was for P-padfoot.”

“Of course it was.” She sighed with annoyance, dramatically flinging herself back to the cushion beneath her. Remus bit his lip to keep his laugh in when she turned her head towards Pads, no pity on her face. “You going to make it?”

“Why? _Why_ do you always _hit_ me when you wake up?” He moaned dramatically, his face still buried in the maroon pillow.

“You should know by now that that’s how she shows affection, Sirius.” Lily sipped her coffee with an amused smirk. “That and insulting everyone.”

Syd propped herself up to glare at the redhead. “That is so _not_ true. If that were the case, I’d be married to Rodolphus _and_ Brogan by now.”

Prongs, taking a sip of coffee as Syd talked, began choking on the liquid. Thumping his chest, he looked at his cousin with horror. “Don’t even put that out into the universe. Take it back.”

“I take it back.” She grumbled with an eye roll. Syd let out a yawn and rubbed her eyes beneath her glasses. It was a miracle she hadn’t broken them in her sleep. Prongs had done it a few times but luckily it was an easy fix. Remus was curious though _how_ blind Syd was without them. He hadn’t seen her take them off once since she got them.

“Speaking of LeStrange, can we call you Queen Nutter instead of Queen Bitch?” Prongs asked, raising both eyebrows tauntingly. At the eyebrow Syd raised, Remus knew Prongs was in for it.

“Only if I can call you Captain Asshole.” Padfoot snorted behind her, apparently over his injuries. Syd gave him a dry look over her shoulder. “What are you laughing at, General Dickbag?”

“General? I only get General? We’re supposed to be getting married, I’d at least get consort!” Syd blinked with wide eyes at the idiotic boy next to her. Remus chuckled, taking another sip of coffee.

“Fine, _Consort_ Dickbag then.” Syd pushed herself up, finally in a vertical position. Stretching her arms up, Remus shook his head at the way Padfoot was watching her. Honestly, he didn’t even _try_ to be subtle. Her back popped loud enough that he could hear it from his spot and she sighed contently. “Remus is General.”

“Why do you need a General?” He asked, tilting his head to the side questioningly.

“World domination.” She replied with a smile. Padfoot, now vertical as well and apparently recovered from his attack, leaned over her and Prongs to snatch the unclaimed mug on the table. Taking a sip, he immediately passed it over to Syd as if it were normal for them to be sharing like that. Remus shot a questioning glance at Lily who returned it, just as confused as he was over their behavior. _Not_ that he was complaining. Having the two of them on good terms was a blessing at this point and hoped it would stay that way. But the way Padfoot had not even asked or been prompted by Syd for the coffee was…odd.

Brushing it off as another weird Padfoot-obsessing-over-Syd thing, he continued the conversation as Syd took another sip of coffee. “Only world domination?”

“Eh, enslaving the entire galaxy seems like a lot of work. I’m nothing if not realistic.” She winked cockily at him and he grinned back, enjoying the lightheartedness. Syd seemed to be calmer than normal, sandwiched between the two Marauders, and Remus enjoyed seeing her like that. With a yawn, she started climbing over Prongs, clutching the coffee tightly. “While these two can manage to look halfway decent, _some_ of us need a little extra work. I’ll be back down in a few.”

As soon as she landed on her feet, she snatched a muffin before making her way up the stairs. Remus and Lily exchanged smirks as Padfoot watching the pajama-clad girl disappear. Prongs scratched Tux’s head and contently sipped his coffee obliviously and Wormtail…Worm was watching where Syd had disappeared as well. Remus made a mental note to discuss it later with the small boy.

And another note to make sure there was chocolate on hand for that conversation.

——

Lily and I stepped out of Transfiguration, Mar and Ali ahead of us, leaving the boys in the classroom. They had been passing notes the whole class and we had a feeling they were planning a prank so rather than be accomplices to the madness, we’d escaped to lunch as fast as we could.

Students lingered in the hall, chatting before heading to the Hall. Lily and I were discussing the homework we were just assigned when a nasally voice reached my ears.

“I mean Sirius, Remus, _and_ her cousin? She really is the Marauders’ Whore. My bet is she goes for Evans next. Then we can call her the Gryffin _whore_.” The giggles were high pitched and extremely irritating.

My feet halted, anger spreading through my chest. I had told Severus that it didn’t bother me, my reputation being _soiled_ or whatever, but this was going too far. Lily gave me a wide eyed look before I spun sharply on my heel and stormed towards the cedar haired Gryffindor. “What did you just say?”

“Oh, me? Nothing. Nothing at all.” The girl smiled too innocently, giving me a loaded smile.

I actually _felt_ my bitch face settle over me, completely unimpressed by the lie. “What? Too scared to say it to my face? Go on, tell me what _exactly_ y’all have been gossiping about.”

The Gryffindor pursed her lips, haughtily looking me up and down. I had seen her in the common room once or twice but didn't know her name, only that she was a year younger than us. “We were wondering if James is just as good at shagging as Sirius is. I mean he has to resort to shagging his _cousin_ so either isn’t too good or he -“

A gasp escaped from the Gryffindor as she hit the stone wall behind her. My arm pushed against her sternum, trapping her. I wasn’t pushing hard or truly endangering her but terrified blue eyes were glued to mine and I couldn’t help the grin spreading on my face. “Sweetheart, I kinda wish I _was_ shagging all the Marauders because then it would be worth having you spineless, bored, gossiping _bints_ talk shit about me. As it so happens though, I’m not shagging _anyone_ , cousin or otherwise. But by all means, _please_ keep thinking about the fact that James would pick _me_ over _you_ any day of the week and what that says about _you._ ”

The girl’s mouth opened and closed like a fish a few times, at a loss for a good comeback. Narrowing my eyes, I leaned close enough that I could see her individual eyelashes. “When I start shagging them, I promise I’ll put an ad out in the Prophet just for you. But in the mean time, keep my name out of your mouth.”

I stepped back, letting the girl sag against the wall in relief. Sharply, I turned on my heels and took two steps before she finally found her voice. “What? No threats? No breaking my nose?”

Looking over my shoulder with one eyebrow raised, I replied dryly. “I assumed you were smart enough to know what will happen if I hear you talking shit again. Maybe you’re not though. So let’s clear that up.” I spun and glare harshly at the shorter girl, taking two very slow steps closer. She backed up against the stone, eyes widening. “Next time, we won’t have this pleasant chat. I’ll just break your jaw. Good enough of a threat for you?”

The girl swallowed hard then nodded. Satisfied, I stormed past Lily, who was gaping at me in shock. Taking a few deep breaths to try and settle my rage, I didn’t wait for Lily to catch up but could hear her footsteps hurrying after me. Under her breath, I heard her mutter. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

“You would never get on my bad side, you have best friend status.” My lips quirked up into a smirk. She rolled eyes eyes good-naturedly and slipped an arm through mine.

Lily shook her head as we turned the corner. “Still, you’re pretty scary sometimes. I thought she was going to piss herself.” She scoffed before continuing. “Gryffinwhore. Hopefully she learned her lesson.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.” I murmured dejectedly, a heavy weight in my stomach. I had the feeling it wouldn’t be the last time I heard Maruaders’ Whore or Gryffinwhore.

——

Sirius cocked his head in thought, watching the tall dark haired Gryffindor storm off with her red headed best friend trailing behind her. He could feel the cold stone seep through his shirt as he leaned against the wall. It helped soothe the rage flowing through the tether at the moment. “Is it wrong that I find her threatening people _really_ attractive?”

“Yes,” Three voices chorused next to him, one sounding more exasperated than the others.

Sirius shrugged with a smirk. Moony rolled his eyes as Prongs gagged next to him. Worm was still staring down the corridor that Syd and Lily had disappeared with a weird look on his face. Sirius brushed it off though. Worm was probably just as impressed as he was at the way Syd had threatened Lydia without actually hurting her. The Marauders began strolling down the hall, trailing after the girls. Prongs and Worm were a few steps ahead of him and Moony, giving them not exactly privacy but less of a chance of being overheard by the two others.

“We really need to get you into therapy.” Moony muttered half-heartedly.

Sirius smirked at the taller boy knowingly. Moony had explained to them years ago what a therapist was and how after the attack on him when he was younger, he was forced to sit through years of sessions with an ancient doctor who asked about his _feelings_. Sirius shivered in disgust. The day he sat and talked about his feelings, especially if they were feelings related to his family, was the day he ate his own broom. “I don’t think _anyone_ would be able to deal with what’s going on in my brain.”

“You’d probably scar them for life, you and all your kinks.” Moony raised one eyebrow at him.

“Hmm, you’d know all about them, wouldn’t you?” Sirius winked saucily at his best mate. A slight blush touched Moony’s cheeks as he rolled his eyes at Sirius. Moony gave a pointed look at the boys ahead of them and Sirius quickly changed the subject. “Did Syd tell you she wants to fly again today?”

Moony’s head turned towards him in shock. “Really? She’s ready?”

“She said she wasn’t sure but that she’d never know unless she got back in the air.” Sirius blew out a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “I’m…worried.”

“About her reaction or…?” Moony prompted. Sirius could always count on Moony to know his thoughts before he did.

“Yes. But also…Merlin, Moons I think I’m more scared of her in the air than she is. That might have been the most terrifying moment of my life.” He admitted quietly. She could have _died_ that day. From the height she was at, the speed she was going…there wouldn’t have been anything _left_. And although Syd insisted that she didn’t blame him, he still blamed himself. He should’ve checked -

“Stop it.” Sirius gave Moony a questioning look. “There was no way you could’ve known. None. We didn’t even know Bellatrix was sneaking into the castle. You saved her and that’s what you need to focus on.”

“Right, right.” He muttered, knowing Moony was right but that little nugget of self-blame buried itself into his brain. Maybe someday it would fade and he’d stop blaming himself but today wasn’t that day.

——-

The group was sprawled out on the Quidditch Pitch, enjoying the beautiful day and working on various homework assignments. Lily laughed at something Marlene said, Jaimy looking over at the sound with a wistful look on his face as he scratched Tux. Alice and Frank laid side by side, Peter curled up next to them with Kole and Nancy on his other side. Emmy and Remus were still working on Patronuses…

While I was trying not to puke all over Sirius.

Taking in a shuddering breath, Sirius looked down at me with a small frown on his face. “Love, if you want to wait -“

“No!” I bit my lip, trying to calm myself. “No, I’m fine. I want to. I do.”

His eyebrows furrowed at the obvious lie but he nodded once. He’d only brought one broom out for us and I took that to mean I’d be flying with him again. A little of the tightness in my chest loosened. I wouldn’t be _alone_ up hundreds of feet in the air. Sirius would be there. The others were _right_ there. I’d be _fine_. Sirius’ eyes watched me carefully as he mounted his broom gracefully. “Let’s have you in front of me for today. I want you as comfortable as possible before you even touch a broom by yourself.”

Pressing my lips together tightly, I walked over to him and threw my leg over the broom. My feet were planted on the ground but my hands were trembling slightly as they wrapped around the wood. I felt Sirius slot his chest against my back and closed my eyes for a moment, just feeling his presence. Large calloused hands enveloped mine, overlapping them comfortingly. 

Sirius’ breath blew past my ear as he talked to me. “We’ll go slow and stay on the Pitch. You say the word and we’re on the ground again, alright?”

“This might surprised you but I don’t have a safe word.” I muttered jokingly. His chest rumbled with laughter against my back, bringing a smile to my lips.

“We should probably figure that out before we’re in the air.” He replied with amusement. I couldn’t see his face but knew he had a wide grin on it. “What’s something you would never say in a normal conversation?”

“I hang out with you idiots, I’m pretty nothing is off the table when it comes to our conversations.” I rolled my eyes, thinking of the completely random things we all talked about. Pressing my lips together, I tried to think of something that would work. Something I would never say in a conver - Oh my _god_. “Snuffles.”

“Snuffles?” Sirius repeated with confusion.

“Snuffles.” The stupid nickname that he had given to Harry, Ron, and Hermione seemed like the perfect ‘safe word’ between us. Sirius wouldn’t understand the reference, obviously, but it would make me laugh if I ever _had_ to use it. Hopefully I wouldn’t. “Is there any point, in _any_ of our conversations, where we would say Snuffles causally?”

He hummed in agreement, the sound vibrating in his chest like his laughter, sending goosebumps up my arms. I swallowed, trying to concentrate on his voice not his closeness. “It’ll work. Are you ready?”

Letting out a shaky breath, I answered with as much fake confidence as I could. “As I’ll ever be.”

“Don’t worry, love. I’ve got you.”

——-

Lily walked down the corridor, James strolling casually at her side. They were on Prefect duty, checking the halls for any wandering students. And discussing what to do with Syd.

“Maybe a potion? In her tea? I could brew up a sleeping draught and see if that helps her sleep through the night.” Lily suggested, pushing her hair behind her ear.

James hummed thoughtfully, debating it. “Would you tell her or slip it in without her knowing?”

“Slip it in for the first few times. It might not work and it was enough of a struggle to get her to agree to drink tea instead of coffee.” Lily had been making sure there was tea within Syd’s vicinity every night after she came back from training. Some nights they’d be in bed before she came back but Lily would leave a cup next to her bed so she wouldn’t be tempted to hunt down any caffeine.

“You’d think with all that - “ James stopped abruptly, head cocked to the side with concern. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear wh -“ Before Lily could finish, James was sprinting down the corridor and around the corner. With a huff, she went to follow him. Rounding the corner, her eyes widened at the sight before her.

“ - don’t _care_ what bloody house someone is in!” James spat at the two boys in front of him. Barty Crouch Jr. and Russel Livingston, fifth year Ravenclaws who Lily had only heard awful things about from Emmy and Nancy. “That does not give you the right to _bully_ them.”

“He’s just a Slytherin. Bloody deserves it.” Barty growled with a glare at the scared Slytherin boy. Lily sidled up to the group, checking the third year Slytherin over with a critical eye. He seemed fine, just shaken up. His attention was on James who glared daggers at the Ravenclaws.

“Detention the rest of the bloody week. _With me._ ” James growled dangerously. With one finger he stabbed the air while he talked, first at each of the offenders faces then behind them. “The two of you will be on the pitch at 5am _every morning_ and will be running laps with my team until you can’t _stand_. I will run your scrawny arses into the ground and then _maybe_ it will get through your _thick_ skulls that being in Slytherin doesn’t make you evil or give permission for others to harass you.”

“You can’t do that! You’re not a professor.” Russel argued fruitlessly. Lily warily watched the two blue uniformed boys with caution. It wasn’t unheard of for unhappy offenders to try and get the jump on Prefects when they were caught. Barty caught her glance and gave her a haughty smirk and a wink.

Which James didn’t miss.

“ _Try me_. I am Head Boy and _can_ do that so if you want to take it up with _Dumbledore_ , be my bloody guest. You can explain to him _why_ I’m making you drag your carcass around the pitch at the arse crack of dawn. Get back to your dorms.” The two boys looked at one another before James barked dangerously at them. “ _Now_.”

They scurried away, not looking back as they disappeared down the corridor. The way James had talked to the Ravenclaws, the thinly veiled anger, reminded her so much of Syd that it was easy to see how they were related to each other beyond looks. Lily laid a gentle hand on the dark haired Slytherin. “Are you alright? Did they hurt you?”

Aiden Fredrick glanced between the Head Girl and Boy nervously. “Fine. Thanks. I - I’ll just get back - “

“We’ll walk with you.” James stated, not giving Aiden any room to argue. “I didn’t get my morning run in so any extra exercise is welcome.”

Lily raised an amused eyebrow at the wild-haired boy and shook her head. It was a flimsy excuse but she agreed that Aiden should be escorted back to his dorm. The three quietly made their way towards the lower levels, Lily making small talk with Aiden while James occasionally chimed in. Within moments, they were strolling up to the entrance where James gave the password.

“Y-you know the password?” He asked, confused that two Gryffindors would have access to the Slytherin common room.

Lily gave him a warm smile. “The Head Boy and Girl have all the passwords. We help make them every few months with the professors. Just in case something happens, they want us to be able to reach all of the common rooms.”

“Or plant a nice surprise for dickbag gits like Crouch.” James muttered above her. She gave him a sharp look but he just winked at the boy with a smirk. James looked like he was going to continue but sighed when they stepped into the green common area. Regulus Black stalked across the room, meeting them only a few steps in. “Black.”

“Potter.” The chilly voice sent a chill down Lily’s spine. Regulus gave the young boy a once over before looking at her. “Evans. What gives us the pleasure of your presence?”

“Bloody Ravenclaws. You’d think for a house of supposedly witty and smart students, they’d be a little more subtle when they want to pick on someone.” James replied dryly, crossing his arms. Regulus raised one eyebrow then dismissed the younger Slytherin with a nod of his head. He scurried off to join a group by the fireplace. “He’ll be fine. You might want to check how he’s doing in Charms though. Didn’t cast a thing as far as I could tell.”

“He’s failing.” Regulus responded without missing a beat. Lily was surprised that Regulus would know that about one of the younger students. That he would _care_ enough to know that. Lily and James knew about the students under their care and if they had any issues with their studies but trying to keep track of the whole school was too much. The Prefects were supposed to help the other students when necessary but…that didn’t always happen. “I was planning on giving him another week or so to pull it together but looks like I’ll be starting tomorrow.”

“I’m available after lunch, let me know if you want any help.” James offered and Lily’s eyes almost bugged out of her head. James _offering_ to tutor a _Slytherin?_ Who was this and where did the toe rag she knew for 7 years go?

“Will do.” Regulus paused for a moment then glanced between her and James. “How’s Rose doing? I heard about the incident in the hall earlier.”

James raised an eyebrow at the question and before he could respond, Lily cut in. She narrowed her eyes at the younger Black, not liking the inquiry. “Fine. Pissed still but fine. Why would you think she wasn’t ok?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow at her accusing tone. Tilting his head slightly, he reminded her too much of Sirius. And she didn’t like it. “I can’t be concerned for a friend?”

“You are _not_ friends with her, Reg,” James lowered his voice so only the three of them could hear him, a dangerous growl lacing his voice. “Don’t put Syd in the middle of you two. She doesn’t need it right now and we _both_ know Sirius doesn’t either. Do everyone a favor and back off.”

“I would never take it too far, Potter. Not if _she_ didn’t want to.” Regulus pointed look across the room towards a group of the older Slytherins who watched them subtly. LeStrange among them. “Unlike _some_ people. Tell Rose to watch her back. Now, get out of my common room before people start thinking we actually tolerate each other.”

“With pleasure.” James shot back, turning on his heel sharply. Lily couldn’t help her eyes flickering back towards LeStrange with worry. Regulus wouldn’t warn them unless it was something to be truly concerned about. With one last look at Regulus, Lily followed James back to the hall and felt an unpleasant feeling coiling in her stomach. One she wasn’t sure would go away any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE YAY! Lol I absolutely love writing this story and hate that I've been so busy. Winter break is coming up though so hopefully I'll have a teensy bit more time.
> 
> Thank you for all of the love, comments, and kudos. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	32. Go Your Own Way

Professor Quirrell’s hands were all over the place today. I thought that him talking about cars was the most excited I’d seen but whew, that didn’t even come _close_ to today’s subject.

Microwaves.

God lord, this man was obsessed. To be honest, I knew the general mechanics of microwaves but _now_ I could probably take one apart and put it back together as well as an engine. I watched and half listened as the professor explained everything but my mind was no one near this classroom.

The flying lesson yesterday had been a great idea. Yes, I had been scared shitless - and _no_ I would never admit that to Sirius, although for some reason I think he knew it - but I felt better knowing that I had pushed myself to do it. I could live without flying the rest of my life but I would _not_ let Bellatrix get one over on me. Sirius and I had flown for almost two hours and my legs were _killing_ me but in a good way. 

The other good thing about yesterday was that I’d managed to convince the professors to let me only come to Dumbledore’s office twice a week instead of four times a week. I’d been going almost every night to ‘help’ them but they were still figuring out how to infuse the sword with the basilisk venom. I hadn’t done much except homework and it seemed like a waste of time when I could be with the others or at least _trying_ to get a little extra sleep.

If only.

Last night’s nightmare had been the flying one again. Not as awful as the one the night before, the one where Jaimy -

I shuddered, thinking of that nightmare.

The nightmare thing was starting to bother me though. Well, it never _not_ bothered me but…why was I having nightmares _every_ night? Back home, I almost never even had dreams I could remember let alone nightmares so why here? Maybe it was the stress of being here or worry over my new family…

But it wasn’t _just_ things I knew from the books and movies or things that had happened here. It was more than that. Mainly that little girl who kept appearing in them. _She_ wasn’t possible though. She just wasn’t.

Even if Sirius and I - no. I wouldn’t let it get _that_ far. There was no guarantee that I would stay here, I could go back at any point and never return. To build a relationship like that with Sirius, to have -

I didn’t even want to think the word. If it did get that far…I’m not sure I’d be able to live with myself. It would be so incredible _selfish_ to do that to Sirius, to the others, to… _her_. If she ever did end up existing. Which she wouldn’t. _Couldn’t_.

Sirius shifted in his seat and a sharp pain went through my knee as he banged it into the leg of the desk. Hissing in pain, he rubbed the spot and I clenched my hand to stop myself from doing the same.

 _That_ was a new problem that I was really confused about.

Maybe I was just around Sirius too much and I started having phantom pains when I saw him injure himself. Kinda like that thing where after a bunch of girls live together for a while, their periods start to sync up and they’re all having it at the same time every month. I rubbed my temple in frustration. Just another thing to add to my to do list.

Quirrell finished up and students began packing away their belongings as Sirius turned to me. “Did you want to go back out to the Pitch today?”

I grimaced at his suggestion and his lips tilted up in amusement. “Maybe over the weekend. I’m not sure my legs can take it.”

“Love, it’ll be more painful if you wait. It’s better to keep working them, build up that muscle.” He slipped his bag over his shoulder and waited for me to follow him. The others had Divination and Ancient Runes so we were on our own until dinner. Yawning, I covered my mouth, my eyes closing from how big it was. “Or we could nap in my dorm.”

I turned and raised both eyebrows in disbelief. “Nap?”

“Yes. You’re tired and so am I. A nap seems like a great idea.” He shrugged, strolling along the corridor.

I pouted for a moment, trying to think of a reason _not_ to go and nap with Sirius. Besides the obvious. We hadn’t done anything, hadn’t even kissed yet but being alone in Sirius’ room, in his _bed_ \- He nudged my shoulder, smirking down at me. “I’m a great cuddler.”

“Lot of practice cuddling Jaimy?” I asked dryly. He barked out a laugh and I couldn’t help but smile at the sound. “ _Fine_. But only because I’m exhausted. And your dorm mates are more respectful than mine. Lily _loves_ waking me up in the morning, she’d probably scare me half to death if I napped in the dorm.”

“Love, if she didn’t wake you up, you’d miss every morning class.” Sirius replied, understanding my aversion to mornings but still taking my green eyed best friend’s side.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” I muttered. We reached the tower and entered the common room, Tux running up to us as soon as we stepped in. Only a few students were sprawled around the room, quietly doing homework. We climbed the stairs to his dorm, Tux pushing the door open with his nose easily. I dropped my heavy bag with a sigh and face planted onto Sirius’ bed. “Why is your bed softer than mine?”

“I bribe the House Elves to fluff it.” Sirius joked, bouncing the mattress as he sat to slip off his shoes. Using my toes, I slipped my own off but kept my face firmly in his pillow. I could feel my muscles relaxing as the scent of him from his sheets filled my nose. A blanket settled over me before Sirius finally slid against my side. “Comfortable?”

“Very.” I mumbled, the bed dipping again as Tux jumped up and curled at our feet. The heat of Sirius’ shoulder and arm seared mine, soothing me further and lulling me quickly into sleep.

——

“A TIE! _SOMETHING!_ Godric’s saggy _balls!_ ”

My body jolted, scared awake by the sound of Jaimy’s voice. An arm around my waist tightened, pulling me firmly against a warm chest. Sirius groaned in annoyance behind me. “Go _away_ , Prongs.”

“ _No!_ I will not _go away_. This is my dorm too and if the two of you would just stop - stop whatever it is you two _do_ , I wouldn’t have to yell and go mental!” He argued, getting louder. Squinting, I found him looking down at us with his hands on his hips.

“You don’t need our help being mental.” I shot back sleepily. Sirius huffed a laugh against my neck, sending shivers down my spine. “We were taking a nap. Look, Tux is even supervising us. No funny business here.”

James shot a glance down at Tux who blinked calmly at him. He turned his head back and narrowed his eyes at the two of us. “Why are you in _Padfoot’s_ bed? Mine’s right there. Or you could go to, you know, _your own_.”

“ ’s comfier.” I mumbled against the pillow. “Is it time for dinner?”

“Yes, nutter. Merlin, one of these days I _am_ going to walk in on the two of you doing something _funny_ and have to boiling my eyes out of my head.” James threw his hands up in aggravation, heading towards the bathroom.

Sirius yawned, pushing himself vertical, popping his neck with a satisfied sigh. Rolling onto my back, I put my arms above my head and stretched out for a moment. It was _wonderful_ not being tormented by nightmares and just _sleeping_. “He might be worse than Lily. I almost hit you again from him waking us up.”

“Those two better get together because I can _not_ live him after we graduate. You, me, Moony, and Wormtail in one place and those two in another. Moons and Worm have _some_ boundaries when it comes to sleep.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking down at me with a small smile. I stretched my arms out, making grabby hands at him. Shaking his head, the smile still on his face, he hauled me out of bed.

“I already called dibs on Lily. Plus there’s no way in _hell_ I’m living with Peter. I’m pretty sure he’s growing things under that bed.” I shuddered, glancing over at the messy bed. Latching onto his hand, I tugged him towards the door, my stomach nearly eating itself now that I was thinking about dinner. “Let’s go, I can hear those potatoes calling my name.”

“You’re going to become a potato.” He muttered, following me out.

“You damn straight I’m going to be a potato. A _hot_ potato.” My cheesy wide grin had his laughter ringing in the stairwell. I decided then that _that_ was my favorite sound in the world. Both of them.

——

The fire crackled soothingly in the common room as we finished up the homework we had due the next day. Sirius and I had claimed the couch as per usual, Jaimy sat below me, using the table in front of him and half the floor to do homework. Remus and Lily sat in their respective armchairs while Mar had her back to the fire, legs crisscrossed on the floor. Peter laid on his stomach, struggling with a Divination paper, his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration. Tux was curled by Lily’s feet, sleeping soundly and Ali had disappeared with Frank.

I slid a paperback book from my bag and settled into the cushions to read a few chapters before bed. Or well, a nap. Remus and I were sneaking out tonight so I wasn’t going to get much sleep. Cracking open the story, I placed my feet on the coffee table to get comfortable.

“What the _bloody_ hell is _that?_ ” Jaimy asked in a scandalized voice. The sound of quill scratching stopped as everyone turned to look at the dark haired boy in confusion.

“A book, Jaimy. They’re a collection of papers that -” I replied, not looking up from the page. I did my absolute best not to laugh but I was _really_ struggling as he cut me off.

“I know what a bloody _book_ is, nutter. _Why_ is there a half naked man on the front of it?” He pointed at the bare chested man on the cover of my book. “Those kinds of books are too - too -“

“Oooh, what’s it about, Syd? I’ve been looking for a good rubbish romance to read.” Marlene asked across from us. James glared at her, offended by her enthusiasm. 

I waited a few moments, letting the anticipation grow a teensy bit. Oh, this was going to be _fun_. “…werewolves.”

Sirius, Remus, and James simultaneously choked on air. Lily’s eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open in shock. Peter blanched at the word but luckily, Mar didn’t notice their reactions. Marlene actually _squealed_ then began gushing. “The werewolf ones are the best! All the smut, the growling, -“ She sighed dreamily and fanned herself. “ _mating_. Oh! I could lend you some if you like. There’s this really good one with an Auror.”

“Actually, Mar, would you mind grabbing it?” I asked sweetly, hoping she’d take the bait. “I’m almost finished this one and would love to start a new book while I actually have the time.”

“Sure! Hold on, I’ll be right back.” She pushed herself up, disappearing up the stairs a second later. I turned back to the group with a shit-eating grin.

Remus threw a charm, creating a bubble for us to speak privately. Then _glared_ at me. “ _Werewolves?_ ”

“Well, Rem, I needed a little light reading to destress and -“ I laughed as he lunged. Quickly, throwing myself towards Peter’s side of the table, Remus landed on the sofa, missing me entirely. Tauntingly, I held the book up for him to _really_ see the cover. “Don’t worry, you can have it when I’m DONE - AHHH!”

I hadn’t anticipated Jaimy attacking me. We landed on the carpet, his body squishing mine as he tried to steal the book from me. “Where - _fuck_ -“ My elbow landed in his gut. “Did you - _MERLIN_ \- even _get_ this?”

“Madam Pince has a private - _ow_ \- collection. I asked nicely.” I put my hand against his face and tried to shove him off. “You can have it after Rem, Jaimy! I won’t - “ A hand yanked my hair roughly. “ _Fuck_ \- keep the werewolf smut from you.”

We came to a standstill - laystill? - and breathed heavily. Two large feet were in my periphery and I looked up to see a very disgruntled werewolf glaring at me. I grinned cheekily, enjoying the chaos I’d caused. “It even has _knotting_ in it, Rem. Can you do that?”

Remus seemed at a loss for words and I heard Jaimy gagging next to me. Oddly enough though, _Sirius_ hadn’t said a word. I was a bit disappointed, I thought for _sure_ I’d get a better reaction out of him. Pushing Jaimy away, I sat up cross legged and waited for Remus to gain some semblance of composure. He pointed down at me and let out a huff through his nose. “You asked for it, Rose. Just remember that.”

“Oh, my sweet, little, naive _Moony_. _You_ started this. Don’t be upset because you started a fight you can’t win.” I tilted my head, still grinning. He shook his head and was about to reply when Marlene’s voice came from behind him.

“I’m not sure what this is about but honestly, Remus, you should know better by now.” She shook her head disappointingly at the taller boy. Giving me a friendly grin, she handed me an equally scandalous book which I thanked her for. Marlene patted Remus on the shoulder, giving him a chagrined look. “It was nice knowing you.”

He threw another glare down at me, narrowing his eyes challengingly. “This isn’t over, Rose.”

“Great!” His eyes widened at my unexpected response. “Madam Pince had a _huge_ collection. It’ll take me the rest of the year to finish!”

Two groans echoed through the common room along with four voices laughing. Poor, poor Remus. He really _should_ know better.

——

“I still can’t believe we’re doing this.” Remus muttered, double checking that the Map was in his cardigan. At the moment, he and Syd were trampling through the forest looking for centaurs. She’d told him about her run in with them when she first came here and how she suspected that the creatures knew more than they were letting on. They’d snuck out after the others had gone to bed and after he’d recovered from Syd’s…reading choice. Remus had snagged the Map just in case one of the Marauders decided to look for him. There was absolutely no reasonable excuse for the two of them being here so it was easier to take the Map with him.

“I did tell you you wouldn’t like it.” She shot back. Syd let out a curse as she tripped over a large branch and Remus quickly caught her before she fell. Breathily, she said, “Thanks.”

When Remus had offered to help her find out more about her Traveling abilities, he hadn’t expected _this_. The dark forest was _creepy_. He didn’t have any memories from running around it when he was transformed and he’d never stepped foot in it on a normal day. And he wasn’t going to ever again after tonight. Syd continued to scan the woods, looking for the herd.

“Magooooorian. Rooooonaaaan. Yo hooooo?” She sang mockingly through the trees. Remus shot her an incredulous look which she shrugged at. “It’s a big forest, I figured calling them might be easier than wandering around in circles.”

“Prongs is right, you _are_ a complete nutter.” He shook his head, wondering how he ended up with such a mad friend. “You -“

“Traveler.” A gruff voice said behind them. They both spun to see a large chestnut centaur. “Were my warnings unclear from your last visit?”

“Nope, pretty clear.” Syd replied, crossing her arms and tilting her hips to the side. “But _you_ know something about my Traveling. And I want to know what it is.”

“As I said - “ He started but Syd cut off the centaur rudely.

“Yes, yes, you don’t have all the answers.” She waved a hand, as if brushing away a bug. “You said I couldn’t find the answers _here_. So that means you know where I _can_ find them. I’m only looking for a direction to start. At the moment, I’m a little out of my depth.”

Magorian sighed but didn’t seem put off by Sydney. Remus stood to her side, listening around them carefully. He’d heard twigs snapping at their back the moment Magorian had appeared and was guessing they were surrounded. He could see that Syd’s face was calm and was really hoping she knew what she was getting them into. “The abilities you have are not natural. Nothing we have seen before.”

“Not natural.” She tilted her head, eyes bright as she thought it over. “You mean it’s man made. Or wizard made.”

“Traveling is a gift but not one given by the Great Powers who bless your kind with magic. You must look into your blood to find the truth.”

“Again with the elusiveness.” Syd sighed and rolled her eyes at Remus, indicating her annoyance. Syd looked back over towards Magorian curiously. “My blood - my family isn’t from _here_.”

“Aren’t they?” Magorian raised an eyebrow. “If not, then how is it you can perform magic?”

“Uh because it’s magic?” Her tone bordering on rudeness again. The large centaur gave her an unimpressed look. She huffed at his gaze and placed her hands on her hips. “Ok, look at my blood. But I can’t while I’m here. I don’t have a genealogy on my family _here_ so -“

“I can only guide you, Traveler. I can’t provide every answer. Look into your blood and you will find what you seek. As I said before, you will not find those answers in the forest.” Remus could feel the end of their conversation coming, short as it was, and saw the frustration on Syd’s face. Magorian had only given them _more_ questions, ones he wasn’t sure they’d be able to answer. “I will ask again but it seems I may be wasting my breath, please stay out of the forest in the future. There is no guarantee for your safety or your companions’. I would prefer not to explain to Albus Dumbledore why his students have not returned.”

“But -“ Syd started.

“Thank you.” Remus cut her off, Syd throwing a glare at him. He ignored her and kept his attention on the centaur. “We appreciate your time and the knowledge you’ve provided.”

“You are welcome, Werewolf.” Magorian gave Syd a pointed glance. “You are lucky you have a courteous companion, Traveler. Others may not indulge you as I have with your…insolence.” Her eyes narrowed at the word. “May the stars guide you home.”

“And you as well,” Remus replied solemnly. Syd raised an eyebrow at the courteous goodbye. Without waiting for any other centaurs to escort them out, Remus wrapped an arm around Syd and steered her back the way they’d come. Once they were out of earshot of Magorian, he hissed at her. “Were you _trying_ to get us killed?”

“Don’t be dramatic.” She shrugged his arm off and carefully hopped over a log. “He wouldn’t hurt us.”

“Syd, they _hate_ wizards. And they’re extremely proud. It’s a miracle they let us walk away with they way you spoke to Magorian.” He tried to explain. Syd might be from a different world, one without magic or centaurs, but she wasn’t _stupid_. The creatures were twice the size of her and all muscle. One kick and she’d be a broken mess. Sometimes he seriously questioned if she had _any_ self preservation.

“Well, we made it, so don’t get your boxers in a twist.” She joked, stopping after a few more steps and turned to face him, face becoming solemn. “I’m sorry, Rem. I just want some answers. I’m sick and tired of everyone not knowing anything. It would be nice if every time I tried to get an answer, I wasn’t given more questions. It’s…irritating that the centaurs _know_ something and won’t tell me.”

“They might have a good reason.” Syd’s face scrunched up as he played Devil’s Advocate.

Syd opened her mouth to retort but stopped, her gaze shooting over his shoulder. Speaking softly, she kept her wide eyes on the spot behind him. “Hey Rem?”

“Yeah?” He drawled, _very_ worried about the tone of her voice and the look on her face.

Syd swallowed roughly and a chill went up Remus’ spine when he heard leaves crunching behind him. “Uh, that wampus kitten from fourth year. Just curious, what did Kettleburn do with it?”

“No idea, why?” Please, no. Please don’t say that there’s a _wampus_ behind him right now.

“Well…I think Kettleburn may have lost it.” She pointed and Remus finally looked over his shoulder to see the tawny cat standing on it’s hind legs. Wampus cats were about the size of mountain lions but when they stood, they were _twice_ that height. And utterly terrifying.

Remus latched onto Syd’s arm and pulled her after him. “ _RUN!_ ”

——

The next morning, I groaned as Lily shook me awake and tried to bury my face in my pillow. My head suddenly thumped against the mattress and chills erupted over my body from being blanketless. Damn _witch_. Pouting, I rolled out of bed and trudged to the bathroom.

Remus and I had _barely_ made it out of the forest. He’d shot completely random spells trying to slow the wampus cat down like knocking it back or spraying it with water. We had practically thrown ourselves past the tree line. When we looked back, the cat was prowling along the trees watching us intently.

It seemed like it couldn’t cross onto the grounds so Remus and I booked it back to the tower as fast as we could, not stopping until we reached the safety of the common room. Panting, we had collapsed on the couch in front of the dying fire and tried to catch our breaths. After discussing our uninformative trip, we decided to try and sneak into the library by ourselves Friday and headed to bed.

I’d fallen asleep within moments. And then was promptly terrified by a giant wampus cat in my nightmares. Luckily, this one was just scary and not sad. I was starting to favor the scary ones over the sad ones. At least the scary ones weren’t so…heartbreaking.

Wringing my hair out, I stood in front of the mirror and inspected the bite wound on my shoulder. The skin was slightly raised on each bite mark and they were a smooth pearl versus my pink toned skin. Thanks to the potions Lily and Remus pushed on me, the bite had healed up nicely and now looked as though it had been there for years.

I slipped on my uniform after drying my hair and slid my wand into the waistband of my skirt. I’d seen the other girls do this and at first, I’d been a little worried that it would fall out but surprisingly it stayed put.

“Took you long enough.” Lily commented as I came back into the dorm room. She hopped up, all perky and awake. I squinted at her grumpily and she gave me a raised eyebrow in return. “Didn’t sleep again?”

“I’m debating if you’re worse than Jaimy. He scared the crap out of Sirius and I yesterday when we took a nap. I think it’s a tie.” We headed down the stairs, Tux ahead of us.

Lily’s other eyebrow joined the first one, almost flying off her face. “You and Sirius were _napping?_ When?”

“After Muggle Studies.” We followed the crowd towards the Hall and I tried not to roll my eyes at her. “And _yes_ , just napping. I swear, you and Jaimy really _are_ meant for each other. The two of you think Sirius and I are fucking all day long.”

James’ coffee sprayed across the table right before Lily was about to take her seat. Sighing, she cleaned it up with a wave of her wand and gracefully sat down. “I do _not_. I’m surprised that you managed to actually _sleep_ , that’s all.”

“Right.” I muttered, gulping down half the mug I’d poured. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were luckily in a discussion and hadn’t heard my comment. Jaimy on the other hand was glaring at me. “See?”

“You said there was no funny business.” He grumbled, glaring harder at me. This time I did roll my eyes at Lily, trying to convey my point.

“There wasn’t, Jaimy dear. Now, drink your coffee like a big boy and don’t spit it all over Lily again. It’s supposed to stay _in_ your mouth.” I patted his head mockingly. His glare deepened further and he muttered into his mug unintelligibly. Winking at Lily, I pulled a muffin towards me then dragged Remus into a conversation.

——

After the initial _shock_ of Syd jokingly saying she was shagging Padfoot - she had _better_ be joking - James poured himself another mug then shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth. Bloody cousin and bloody best mate were going to drive him to St. Mungo’s one of these days.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Padfoot pour more coffee into Syd’s mug as she chatted with Moony. She gave him a grateful smile and took a sip with a content sigh. Padfoot’s eyes lit up at the smile and he turned to Worm who asked him a question.

Syd began tapping her fingers against her mug in a steady rhythm. James had noticed her do this when she was irritated with something, typically when Worm was talking to Padfoot. Weird but he’d have to be blind not to notice that Syd wasn’t a fan of Worm. Without looking, Padfoot placed his hand on her lower back and the tapping stopped immediately. James shot a glance at Lily who had her attention on her crossword so he couldn’t point out this development - or redevelopment - with Pads and Sydney.

As he took another sip of coffee, Amos Diggory passed behind them, James was vaguely aware of him back tracking towards the group. And then the _strangest_ thing happened.

Amos tapped Padfoot on the left shoulder, getting his attention. At the _exact moment_ , both Sydney _and_ Pads turned to look over their left shoulders. Sydney, who had been in a conversation with Moony, unaware of a person behind her, _turned to her left_. Like she _felt_ someone tap _her_.

James spat his coffee across the table, soaking Lily’s Prophet as the pieces snapped together. Coughing violently, James thumped his hand against his chest, trying to breathe. Godric’s saggy _balls_.

“Merlin, James. Are you alright?” Marlene asked with concern as Lily waved her crossword clean looking annoyed. Sydney was staring at him with the same look as the love of his life. He turned with wide eyes to stare at his cousin, unable to believe what was happening. 

“Jaimy, I literally _just_ told you not to -“

“You - _you_ -“ James’ finger lifted, without thought, shakily pointing at his cousin. His _cousin_ who had been _mated_ to his best mate. “And _you!_ ”

His finger went to said best mate who glanced between the cousins warily. Amos had snuck off during James’ spaz attack but the bogart was out of the bag. Without another word, James leaned around Sydney and _punched_ Padfoot in the shoulder.

Both of them flinched back, hands going to their left shoulders, staring at him with identical looks of irritation and disbelief. Padfoot’s face went _white_ as his gaze landed on Syd, eyes zeroing in on the hand gripping her shoulder. “Prongs -“

“ _Walk_.” James grabbed Syd’s arm, hauling her up to follow him, letting Padfoot stumble behind them in shock. The others traded worried glances, Ali and Mar already whispering but James didn’t _care_. He didn’t care what anyone would say about this little outburst. They all stepped out onto the grass, James storming towards the beech tree while dragging his cousin. She pulled back and escaped his grasp, huffing angrily. He whirled and could barely think through the roaring in his mind. Let Mar and Ali talk about him being a nutter, let the others think he’d gone mad, he truly didn’t _care_. What he _cared_ about right that minute was the fact that - “ _YOU’RE BONDED?!_ ”

Sydney blinked at him, no recognition on her face at the word. The _meaning_ of the word. Padfoot stood next to her, arm brushing against hers, as he stared at James with panic. “Prongs, calm down -“

“Calm down? Calm _down?_ When the _bloody hell_ were you going to tell me?!” He burst, looking back and forth between the bonded pair. Bonds were the thing of _stories_. Merlin, his _mum_ read rubbish novels about bonds all the time. Just like that _stupid_ book Syd had pulled out last night. They were so rare that there was barely any accurate information on them. Most of what anyone knew was from fiction. But watching the two of the just now, _seeing_ Syd react to Padfoot being hit, was _proof_ they had something happening. “How long has it been going on?”

“Mate -“ Padfoot started but Syd cut him off.

“Jaimy, what the _hell_ are you going on about?” She demanded, crossing her arms. “You _dragged_ me out here like a _child_ and now you're freaking out like a psycho. Explain what you’re talking about _right. Now._ ”

James leaned forward and slapped Padfoot on the side of the head. Once again, both Sydney and Padfoot flinched away and rubbed their heads. “ _That!_ You two _bonded_ and you didn’t tell me!”

“Prongs, soulmates aren’t -“

“I know they’re not bloody real! But explain to me what I saw just now! Someone touches you and Syd reacts _exactly_ the same way. She was annoyed in the Hall just now,” James threw an accusing hand in Syd’s direction. “Tapping your mug? You only do it when you’re irritated about something. And then Padfoot put a hand on you and you _calmed down_. He _knew_ you were annoyed. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Sydney’s face was filled with bewilderment, looking between him and Padfoot. With a defeated sigh, Padfoot closed his eyes. “I don’t think you’re wrong.”

“ _WHAT?_ ” Syd screeched, gaping at Padfoot in disbelief.

Padfoot kept his gaze on James as he tried to explain himself. “It’s like…a tether. There’s this _thing_ in me and I can feel different things that I shouldn’t be feeling. I…I don’t know when exactly it started. After the bite. It was just little twinges at first and it’s still not always there, it flickers in and out. Sometimes it’s strong and other times it’s like it’s barely there."

He shrugged at James, hands open towards him. Sydney still looked lost and pissed at the two of them but James kept his attention on his best mate. “And the nightmares started after the bite too, didn’t they?”

Sydney’s face paled alarmingly fast as she whipped her head towards Padfoot. He grimaced and nodded in confirmation. She shook her head, taking a few steps back, away from Padfoot. He in turn took a few steps _towards_ her, like he _had_ to. Throwing up her hands to stop him, Sydney looked at him with horror and whispered, “What did you see?”

“Nothing.” He replied, holding her gaze steadily. James didn’t know what Sydney had nightmares about but he’d seen her the other night, had seen the terror in her. Padfoot continued calmly, like he was talking to a wild animal. “It’s just feelings. I haven’t seen anything. But…Syd, what are you dreaming of? It’s _horrible_. The - the terror you feel. The sadness. Please, just -“

“ _No_.” She rasped out, her hands shaking. She swallowed hard, trying to clear her throat. Her hands moved sporadically, one second at her sides then a palm up towards Padfoot to stop him from moving closer. Syd’s mouth opened then closed, her hand now gesturing between them. “ _No_. I am _not - No_. This is insane. _We_ are not -“

“I think you are, Syd.” James whispered softly. Her eyes landed on him, full of alarm. She shook her head, refusing to believe him. “Maybe we should go see Dumbledore -“

“ _No_.” Syd spat harshly. She had reacted like that when they’d been discussing the Cloak. Whatever was going on, Syd did _not_ trust Dumbledore and that worried him. He and Padfoot exchanged glances which Syd growled at. “We are _not_ telling him. Whatever this _bond_ is, which I still think you’re making up, it is _not_ his business.”

“He might -“ Pads started and Syd glared so hard at him, he shut up immediately.

“I don’t _care_ if he might know something. I don’t want him in our business like that. If _this_ -“ She waved her hand between them, indicating the invisible bond. “is real, I don’t want him poking into it. End of story.”

“Alright, love. We won’t.” Padfoot agreed solemnly. James frowned at the way Pads gave in immediately and at Syd’s obvious distrust of Dumbledore. This was _big_. Soulmates, bondmates, whatever name was used, didn’t _exist_. They had no idea how this would effect the two of them.

“I’m going to class.” Syd said abruptly, taking a few steps towards the castle. Padfoot went to follow her and she shakily put her palm up again to stop him. “ _Alone_. I just - I need a minute.”

Without another word, she spun on her heel and crossed the grass quickly. Padfoot ran a hand through his hair, watching her until she disappeared into the castle before turning towards him. “This is a bloody mess.”

“That’s an understatement.” James muttered, crossing his arms.

——

Soulmates. Fucking _soulmates?!_

My breath started getting shorter again as the implication hit me. I’d stormed into the Hall to get Tux and head back to the dorm for a moment of aloneness. When Remus and Lily had both tried to ask what had happened, I’d snapped at them, regretting it instantly but still too overwhelmed to apologize right then.

Soulmates. _Bonded_. What the hell did that even _mean?_

There was so much in this world that I didn’t know. It was like getting half the pieces to an Ikea table, I only had pieces of what I needed and it wasn’t enough to finish the table. James had even said that soulmates _didn’t exist_. Then again, I doubt there had ever been an Animagus who bit a human to protect them from a horny werewolf.

 _God_ what the _hell_ was my life?

And what if that was why Sirius and I were so close? Not because we actually cared about each other but because the _bond_ made us feel that way? Taking a shaking breath, I grabbed my bag and headed out of the Tower to class.

Ok, deep breaths, Syd. Focus on _breathing_. This will be fine. It’ll fade or - or - _fuck_. Another god damn thing that _no one knew about_. When was this world going to stop cold-cocking me in the face?! Bonding with Sirius was the _last_ thing I needed. Why _Sirius?_ Why not Remus? Or _Lily?_ Why the one person who I wanted to have a better life? Yes, James and Lily would be dead and Remus would be alone for a while but _Sirius_ would be accused of betraying _Jaimy_. The person who took him in when his own family burned him out of it. Literally. He’d be painted as the poster child for the Black family when all he wanted in life was to _not be like them._

It didn’t matter that he _wasn’t_. That was kind and caring and thoughtful and funny and maybe had a bit of a temper and was pretty closed off but he was _good_. He deserved to have a life. A _real_ life. And being bonded to me was _not. In. The. Plan._

A plan I didn’t even really _have_. God this was a mess. But this, this _bond_ was definitely not a part of it! I tore a hand through my hair, destroying the half bun I’d made this morning. I had to save them first though. If I couldn’t save them then it wouldn’t matter if I was bonded to Sirius. If he was my…my _soulmate_. I _needed_ to save them. Especially if this soulmate thing was real. Save first, soulmate second.

Remus and I hadn’t been able to sneak away to the library alone yet and the anxiousness was building. Every time we’d tried the last few days, someone in the group would tag along. We’d made a plan for tomorrow though, the girls would be in Herbology and the other boys would most likely shy away from anything school related so we’d hopefully be able to go by ourselves. Not only were we looking for any information on Travelers like me but anything to do with time travel in general. Magorian had said that my abilities were _wizard_ made, so _something_ had happened to someone related to me and maybe it would be in a book somewhere.

I could hope.

A minute before Potions started, I slipped into the room and beelined for my seat, avoiding the others. Severus raised his eyebrow questioningly, not missing the tension in the group, but I ignored him and pulled out my books. Luckily, he let it go and the class grew quiet as Slughorn began to teach. I tried to focus on his voice, on the lesson, and studiously took notes throughout the whole class. And I did pretty well, only letting my focus slip once or twice. When I looked down at my notes at the end of class though, I noticed the shaky, unreadable letters and bit my lip.

My hands were still trembling when I packed up.

——

“How is she?” Prongs asked quietly.

Sirius bit back the urge to snap at him. He’d been asking throughout all of Potions and now during Charms. The question had started grating on him by the 400th time. The tether, he really didn’t know what else to call it, had been trembling in fear ever since this morning and Sirius _hated_ it. Syd was _terrified_ of the bond and _him_. It made his stomach roll whenever he focused on the tether, making him more and more irritable as the day passed.

“Prongs, if you ask me one more bloody time, I will burn your broom.” He growled under his breath. Prongs huffed in reply and slumped in his seat.

Letting out a deep breath, Sirius did his best to block out the tether. It wasn’t easy, now that he knew it was actually there and not just his imagination. They hadn’t told the others yet, not wanting to discuss it in the Hall or the hallways, but every single one of them could tell something was going on. And they'd have to reveal it eventually. If Prongs had figured it out this fast then it was only a matter of time before the others did too.

Soulmates. _Merlin_ , that was a scary thought. Prongs’ mum had tons of flimsy paperback books about soulmates at home that they’d poked through just to see what the fuss was about. If Sirius wasn’t as experienced as he was, he wouldn’t been scarred for life from those books. They were _foul_ , to put it lightly. He and Prongs had laughed for days about the ridiculous story lines and the words used in the books like _loins_. It was probably why Prongs had been so offended that Syd was reading similar books. Even if it was just to mess with Moony.

But this wasn’t a story. It wasn’t some rubbish novel. It was _real_ and it was scary as hell. From what he could tell so far, Syd only _physically_ felt what he felt. The other day when Amos had knocked into him in the hallway, he’d _seen_ Syd holding her shoulder but had let it go. Now…now he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

And he felt her _feelings_. Not tangible thoughts or what they were about but the actual feeling she was having at that moment. His eyes flickered over towards her but she was pointedly _not_ looking in his direction. He sort of wished he _could_ read her mind because only feeling the fear she felt was driving him mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT. Lol I actually updated in the same week and not a whole month later.
> 
> SOULMATES. Officially did it hehe. This is going to be so much fun 😉 
> 
> Thank you for all the love, kudos, and comments. Stay stay and healthy ❤️


	33. willow

Lily’s mind was _reeling_ from what James was saying. _Soulmates?!_ Sirius and Sydney were _soulmates_. Bonded through magic. Sirius explained how he could feel Syd’s emotions and Syd grudgingly admitted that she’d felt it when Sirius was injured. 

They’d come up to the common room after dinner and grouped around the fireplace to do homework. Ali and Mar had escaped after an hour, going to their respective significant others’ common rooms to get away from the obvious awkwardness so it was just Lily, Syd, and the Marauders. Although, Ali and Mar had brushed off the morning incident as nothing, Remus and Lily had been feeling the tension build throughout the day and couldn’t help trying to guess what was going on. 

This was _not_ on their Siriney Bingo card.

Pressing her lips together tightly, Syd crossed her arms and watched them as they talked. Lily could tell she was upset at this development but she wasn’t entirely sure why. Syd _liked_ Sirius, even before the bite. This seemed like a confirmation of what everyone already knew. What could be upsetting her about being bonded to the boy she was in love with?

“I need to go to training.” Syd said sharply, roughly pulling her bag over her shoulder. She made it two steps before Sirius was up and tugging on her arm gently.

“Love -“

“ _Don’t_.” She spat, freeing herself. Her head turned away from him, purposely avoiding his eyes and Lily could see her struggling to keep her composure. “Just don’t right now. I’ll see you all later.”

Without looking back, she swept out of the common room but left Tux curled up by Remus’ feet. Dejectedly, Sirius fell back onto the couch, shoving both hands through his hair in frustration. Lily glanced at the others who watched him cautiously. Quietly, she spoke to Sirius. “I can talk to her when she gets back, see what’s really going on.”

“Thanks, Lily.” He muttered, resting his elbows on his knees then propping his head against his hands. “This wasn’t…I never thought this could even _happen_. I was trying to protect her.”

“She knows.” Lily reassured him. James gave her a grateful smile as she continued. “She’s scared, Sirius. Being soulmates…it’s something no one really understands. We don’t know how it’s going to…change the two of you. Give her some time, she’ll come around.”

“And if she doesn’t?” He whispered sadly, his eyes focused on the fire. Lily saw both Remus and James winced at the tone while Peter watched Sirius intently.

She was confident that Syd _would_ come around and not be scared of the bond. It was understandable though why she was. Syd hadn’t been here long and so many things had happened. It had to be overwhelming to add in a soulmate on top of everything else. Hopefully it wouldn’t take her long though. It was heartbreaking to see Sirius like this. To see _Syd_ like this too. Lily answered as surely as she could. “She will.”

—-

Everyone was thankfully upstairs by the time I wandered back to the common room. I’d spent the entire time during “training” exploring the castle. I hadn’t had a good chance to do that alone and this was the perfect opportunity. The others didn’t know I had changed the meetings with the professors to twice a week, Mondays and Wednesdays, so I had the best excuse to escape from that extremely awkward conversation.

Slipping through the dorm door, I beelined to the bathroom and quickly got ready for bed. Although there was a bathroom door in the hall, my mom had this superstition that you _had_ to go out of the same doorway you entered. So I couldn’t go through the hall bathroom door then the dorm bathroom door, I always had to go through the dorm one to get to the bathroom. I had enough bad luck as it was, I didn’t need anymore so I stuck to the silly superstition.

Tux was curled up in his bed on the floor by mine sleeping soundly. I gently pet his head before climbing in and sighing. What a _day_. And it had started off so normal. Well, as normal as days are here.

Sirius was my _soulmate_. Sirius Black. Sirius _fucking_ Blac -

The bed dipping startled me but when I saw red hair, I immediately relaxed and scooted over for the uninvited guest. Lily pulled one of my pillows under her head and cast a muffiato charm over us. Emerald eyes met mine and she smiled softly. “You’re still freaking out, aren’t you?”

I turned onto my left side to face her, mirroring her position. “If I told you right now that James was _your_ soulmate, what would you say?”

A look of disbelief came over her. “That’s -“

“For real. If I was being serious and _told you_ that you and my cousin were going to end up together, have kids, live in a cottage, the whole she-bang…what would you do?” I wanted a true answer from her. Not only to get her to understand _why_ I was panicking but maybe to also…prepare her for that future. Because if any pair of people were soulmates, James and Lily would be my guess. I wasn’t giving anything away, _she_ thought it was a hypothetical situation.

Lily bit her lip, glancing down for a moment. Her porcelain skin almost glowed in the moonlight coming through the window. Mine had a pink undertone and gave my complexion a weird rosy look the majority of the time but Lily’s was fairer than mine. I could see why Jaimy fell for her instantly. And it wasn’t because she was pretty. There was so much happening behind those emerald greens and they were captivating. Jaimy probably never knew what hit him that day they met. I wonder if he fainted. I’d have to ask Lily for the full story at some point.

Finally, she drew her gaze back towards me. “I’d freak out, too. Not because -“ She paused and pressed her lips together for a second. “Not because of James. But…the soulmate thing. That’s…”

“Scary as hell?” I whispered, clenching my fists together. “It’s more than that though. I’m…I’m not good for him, Lily.”

She scoffed immediately. “Well, that’s ridiculous. You’re the best thing that’s happened to that boy since the Marauders and the two of you haven’t even kissed yet. He couldn’t find anyone better than you if he actually _tried_.”

How could I convince her this was a bad idea without telling her? “I’m messed up.”

Lily raised one eyebrow in a _Really?_ look. “Have you met Sirius?”

This was so _frustrating_. If she knew where I was from, why I was here, she would understand why I was so against this. “No, really. I’m -“

“Sydney,” She grasped my hand, locking those intense green eyes on me. “You are _the_ best thing that has happened to Sirius. I’ve known him for 7 years and I have _never_ seen him as happy as he is when he’s near you. There is _nothing_ you could do or have done that would change that. Even when the two of you were fighting, he was still focused on _you_. You don’t see the changes the rest of us do. Trust me, you are _meant_ to be with Sirius. Even before the bite, we could all see it.”

The side of my face, the one touching the pillow, was wet. She didn’t see how _awful_ I was for him. She didn’t see how I was going to hurt him when all I wanted was for him to _live_ a real life. And I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t explain why he and I were _never_ meant to even meet let alone become _soulmates._

She squeezed my hand, giving me a soft smile. “Whenever you’re ready to accept it, he’ll be there. Go to sleep, Syd. You don’t have to decide right now, you have the rest your lives to figure it out.”

But we didn’t, did we? We had four years, if that. Four years and this incredible, unselfish, smart girl could be gone. It was a world I couldn’t live in. One I refused to let exist. Even though I knew what waited for her, for all of them, I still didn’t truly know the future. I was knew one thing for certain though. Sirius and I would never have the rest of _our_ lives to figure out what was between us. If we were lucky, which was a big if, we’d get those four years.

But time was ticking.

——

Barty Crouch Jr. and Russel Livingston finally huffed their way to where James stood with his arms crossed. Merlin, they were slow. The rest of his team was in the air, doing maneuvers as the two fifth years collapsed at his feet. Padfoot, the only team member on the ground, raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed with the Ravenclaws.

James had run them ragged the past few mornings and had a sick pleasure in seeing them practically passing out from exhaustion. Dismissing them after reminding them to be there the next morning, James couldn’t help smirking at their groans. The team might not practice on weekends but he would be getting up early just for these two and make it a _memorable_ detention. He turned to Pads as they sprinted away. “Any changes?”

His dark haired friend grimaced at the question. James could see the tension building in Padfoot, whatever Syd was feeling was causing Pads to go to that dark place and it worried him. It had only been a day but the cloud that hung over the dog collared boy was darker than it had been in over a year.

“No.” Pads replied gruffly, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Mate -“ Padfoot winced at the word even though it wasn’t what James meant. Shite, this was a mess. “She doesn’t hate _you_ -“

“Because _you_ know what she’s feeling?” Pads hissed angrily, glaring at him. Rubbing his temple, Padfoot sighed dejectedly. “She’s so scared, Prongs. Utterly terrified of me. I have no idea what to even say to her.”

James pressed his lips together, he didn’t have a good answer for his friend. Syd might be family but he’d only know her for 2 months, he didn’t really understand why she was so scared of the bond. Hell, he didn’t even know why she was _here_ in the first place. “She needs some time to adjust. It’s not you, it’s her.”

Padfoot shot him an annoyed look. “You didn’t feel it _all day_ yesterday. Syd didn’t have one second that she wasn’t scared of the bond or me or whatever she’s been thinking about. Every time she looked at me, I felt her dread. And she should feel like that! Merlin, who in their right mind would want to be stuck with me?”

“My cousin is never in her right mind, so -“ He started but cut himself off at Pads’ dark look. So bloody sensitive. That was hilarious, Syd in right mind. Sighing, James continued. “Padfoot, _anyone_ would be lucky to be with you. You need to start giving yourself more credit. You’re smart, funny, caring, -“

“Aww, Prongs, if you wanted to date me, you should’ve just asked.” Pads joked, winking at him.

James shoved his shoulder in retaliation. “You wanker. I’m trying to be seri - don’t even think about it.”

Padfoot grinned at the finger pointed at his face. James rolled his eyes but was glad to see something other than depression on his best friend’s face. “Syd would be the luckiest witch in the _world_ to be stuck with you. There’s no one I trust more with her. Honestly, you’re probably the only one who can handle her level of madness.”

“You wouldn’t trust Moony with her?” Padfoot asked quietly, keeping his eyes on the team flying above them.

James was silent for a moment, thinking about it. Would he trust Moony with Syd? Did he believe Moony could make Syd happy? If Padfoot wasn’t in the picture…then yes. Moony would do anything he could to make Syd happy. That’s who he was. And Syd clearly cared for Moony. But…it wasn’t the same as Syd and Pads. Their dynamic was magnetic. Even before the bond, they were tied to each other. And not in a forced way. If he looked back the past couple of months, it was obvious that the two teenagers had a natural connection. 

“Syd would walk all over him.” James replied, trying to lighten the conversation while reassuring Padfoot that _he_ was the one James trusted with Syd. “Merlin, she’d get away with murder if she was with Moony. He’d be the one hiding the body while she was distracting the Aurors looking for the murder victim. _You_ would at least yell at her before hiding the body.”

His moody friend didn’t respond so James clamped a hand on his shoulder, forcing Padfoot to meet his gaze. “No. I trust Moony with my life and Syd’s, all of ours honestly, but I wouldn’t trust him to be _with_ Syd. He wouldn’t challenge her the way you do, Pads. It’ll work out. She needs some time but it _will_ work out.”

——

“How are you…feeling?” Remus asked with a wince when my eyes narrowed.

My patience was on thin ice. I’d been avoiding Sirius like the plague or ignoring him which made me feel like a terrible person but I really, really, _really_ did not want to discuss the bond with him. I wanted to go back to breakfast yesterday. To that moment when I heard him and Peter talking and was aggravated by Peter’s voice. Sirius’ hand slid across the small of my back and I’d -

God damn it, he probably knew I was pissy because of the stupid bond.

 _Ugh._ This was confusing. That second though, that reassurance from Sirius, that hand on my back, had been exactly what I needed. It had felt so _good_ , so grounding and now it was tainted by the fact that Sirius _felt_ that I was upset.

Crossing my arms, I gave Remus a dark look. “Why don’t you ask _Sirius?_ ”

Remus raised an eyebrow at this. I wasn’t stupid. I’d heard Jaimy asking Sirius how I was feeling every 10 seconds yesterday. It was half the reason I’d stormed out of the common room last night. Jaimy hadn’t asked me _once_ how I was feeling, he’d asked _Sirius_. And it pissed me off. Without being phased by my glare, Remus asked, “Why don’t _you_ tell me why you’re so against the bond?”

I glanced around our little nook but there wasn’t a soul around. We’d managed to slip away, our plan working perfectly. No one wanted to be in the dark library on a Friday afternoon. Remus had cast a muffilato charm over us to be sure we had privacy. I swear, that charm was the only thing keeping me sane right now. It let us talk without the fear of being overheard and even though I didn’t _want_ to talk…I did. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“Tell me anyway.” Remus leaned forward, resting his arms on the table.

I threw my hands up in frustration. “Because I don’t exist!”

Literal pure confusion went through his face. “That’s -“

“I don’t!” I hissed, still doing my best to keep quiet even with the charm. “I’m not supposed to _be_ here, Remus. How can I let Sirius bond with me if I don’t _exist_?”

“First of all, no one, not even you, _let’s_ Padfoot do anything.” He said with one finger up.

“You know what I mean.” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

“I really _don’t_. You are _here_ , Syd. Whether you believe it or not, you are _here_ and part of _our_ lives. There’s no changing that.”

I looked down at the table, not wanting to see his face for a moment. Quietly, I asked, “And if I leave? And don’t come back?”

“We managed to survive before you came here, I think we can manage to keep going if you leave.” My eyes shot back up at the blunt answer. He continued, putting up a hand to stop me from interrupting. “It’ll be hard but we’ll make it. Don’t make Padfoot and yourself miserable on the _chance_ you might disappear.”

“He deserves _better_ , Remus. He deserves someone who he can build a life with! Not - not _me._ ” My voice broke on the last word. At least Lily didn’t know so her arguments were harder to dispute but _Remus_ knew I wasn’t from here, he _should_ understand why I was against the bond.

“So Padfoot doesn’t get a choice in the matter?” His voice was harsh and I winced at the question.

“That’s not what I -“

“That’s _exactly_ what you meant. _You_ think he deserves someone else. _You_ are making the decision _for_ him. He might not know about your Traveling but he is capable of knowing what _he_ wants. And it’s clear he wants _you_.” Damn him. Damn him for being so damn on point. Remus continued, not caring or noticing that what he had said touched a nerve. Or maybe that was why he kept going. “I agree with you, Pads _shouldn’t_ know the future. He’s impulsive and reckless and if he found out, he would either give in to his dark side or he would destroy himself. But don’t make decisions _for_ him. You are smart enough to figure out a way to keep the Traveling a secret _and_ be with him.”

I swallowed hard. Remus had too much faith in me. Faith I didn’t have in myself. “What _possible_ way is there that I could do both? How could I lie to him every single day and have him still even _look_ at me? He would never trust me.”

“You killed a basilisk when there were three professors who shouldn’t done it. _You_ did that, Syd, not them. If anyone can find a way, you can.” He was so sincere, so hopeful for me.

I shook my head, refusing to believe there was a way. Life wasn’t like that. _Especially_ for me. I wasn’t lucky enough to be able to have Sirius and keep his future from him. “Can we…can we stop talking about this? I already had Lily telling me practically the same thing -“

“You told _Lily_?” Remus hissed, looking over his shoulder in case the red head popped up.

“Jesus, _no_. I’m not suicidal. If _she_ ever found out, God, she’d probably wring every detail from me so she could neurotically plan out how to beat Voldemort.” God help Voldemort if _that_ ever happened. He wouldn’t stand a _chance_ against Lily on a warpath. On second thought - Nope, bad idea. But…maybe one to keep in my back pocket. “She was trying to convince me that Sirius and I are ‘meant to be’ or some nonsense like that.”

Remus let out a low chuckle which I glared at. He shrugged, a smile on his face. “You are. The soulmate thing confirms that.”

“Oh because _you’re_ an expert on soulmates?” I shot back. 

“I know more than you do.” He tilted his head, watching me roll my eyes. “Granted, it’s mostly from fiction but they all have the same basic rules. Two people, sometimes three, are connected through a magical bond. Now, that’s where the bond thing gets interesting. Sometimes it’s thoughts or feelings, other times it’s…uh, a bit…”

“Sexual?” I asked dryly, enjoying the uncomfortable look crossing his face. I only had sisters and my cousins were somewhat protective of me back home but the way Jaimy and Remus seemed to shy away from or be overprotective of my _virtue_ was a riot. On one hand, they both _wanted_ me with Sirius and on the other, they were against me ever being intimate with _anyone_ even Sirius. I imagine it’s what having brothers would be like. “Well, it’s definitely _not_ that.”

He squinted at me suspiciously. “No details. Whatever you and Pads do, I do _not_ want details.”

“Deal. Although at the moment, it’s nonexistent. The most we’ve done is nap together and then Jaimy scared us half to death.” I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. “Moving on. I’m sick of talking about this bond and it’s ranking third on my priority list. Let’s see if we can find anything about Traveling. I’ve been looking through the stacks but there are just too many books.”

Remus gave me a confused look which I raised an eyebrow to. “You _looked through the stacks?_ ”

“Yeeeeah?” I was now confused. How else was I supposed to find any books?

With a smug smirk, Remus waved his wand. Seconds later, books began _flying_ towards us. I ducked, worried one would hit me in the face with how fast they were going. The sandy haired boy chuckled and caught them one by one, stacking them neatly. “You could try _magic_. That thing we use every day?”

I narrowed my eyes at his tone. Sassy werewolf asshole. “Two months, Remus. You’ve been doing this for 17 years. Forgive me if I _forget_ sometimes that I _can do magic_.”

“Eh, we’ll see.” My mouth dropped in disbelief at his blasé answer. 

“You’re so much more sarcastic than I thought you’d be.” I muttered, pulling a few books towards me. He didn’t reply so I looked up at him questioningly. “What?”

“I’ve…been meaning to ask you.” This didn’t sound good. I tilted my head and waited as he mulled over his question. “Why shouldn’t I trust Wormtail? He’s been our friend for years, Syd. One of my _best_ mates. What does he do?”

My stomach dropped. _Fuck_. This was something I honestly couldn’t tell him. It seemed unbelievable even to me. Peter was the most background person you could think of. Those characters on the side who pop in every once in a while, say one funny thing, then disappear for another five chapters. And despite the creepy vibes he gave me, if I didn’t know any better, Peter would be the _last_ person I would suspect of betraying his friends.

But I did know better.

Sighing, I decided to answer him without _really_ answering him. “I can’t tell you but think about what he did to me and Sirius. Remus, _nothing_ happened between us that night. We were talking, hugging, nothing that would make Peter suspect we had been hooking up. So _why_ did he run to Sirius and tell him that? Why would he try and cause Sirius and I to have a fight? And the night I was bit? Peter was the one who made Tux go into the forest. He should’ve been with _you_ but he was no where near any of you. Why would he lure me into the forest when he was supposed to be following you? I don't trust him.”

Remus was silent, his brows furrowing in thought. There was something there though. Like he had a suspicion as to why Peter had done these things. I eyed him worriedly. “What is it? You have that thinky face on.”

“It’s probably nothing.”

“Don’t say that. Whenever anyone says that it’s always _something_.” I argued, worried about what he didn’t want to say.

He sighed, rubbing his temple and keeping his eyes on the desk between us. “I haven’t talk to him about it yet so I could be wrong.”

“Wrong about _what?_ ” He was stalling. Whatever this was, it wasn’t good. Was Peter already a Death Eater? Did Remus _know?_ Or at least suspect? Oh sh -

“I think he fancies you.” Remus finally met my eyes which were wide open in shock as the words registered.

“ _What?!_ ” I yelled. He shushed me and looked around us warily. Dropping my volume, I repeated the question because what he just suggested was _absurd_. “ _What?_ ”

“Wormtail. I’m pretty sure he fancies you.” He confirmed that what he said the first time was what _he actually said_. Jesus fucking Christ.

“That’s insane. Almost as insane as Sirius and I being soulmates. Rem, why in the world, yours _or_ mine, would you even think that?” Yes, Peter stared a lot and had that creepy stalker vibe but no way did he _like_ me. I barely looked at the kid. It took everything in me not to punch him in the face whenever I saw him.

“I could be wrong -“ He started and instead of letting him finish, I crossed my arms and buried my face in them on the table and groaned because of fucking _course_ Peter would get a crush on me. The guy who would essentially help murder my adoptive cousin, soulmate, best friend, and my other best friend _would_ fancy me. See? No luck. None. “But I don’t think I am. Sorry.”

I tilted my head up, keeping my chin in my arms, and squinted at him. “Why are you apologizing? You don’t like me too, do you?”

One eyebrow shot straight up, a smirk playing on his lips. “I think that bond is making you _act_ like Padfoot. Not everyone is in love with you, Syd.”

“I’m going to take that as a no. Thank _God_.” This was a disaster. Hopefully Peter just stayed in the crush phase and didn’t get the balls to _actually_ ask me out. I’m not entirely sure if I’d puke on him or punch him. It was 50/50. “ _Do_ you like someone, though?”

“Not at the moment.” He shrugged, halving the stack in front of him and shoving books at me. I waited for him to elaborate, I was curious. “I’m not like Padfoot or Prongs or even Worm for that matter. I tend to like people who I connect with beyond looks. Currently, the only people that applies to are people who I see as family.”

“You have an entire school full of people and you haven’t _connected_ with any of them? I find that a little hard to believe.” I wasn’t trying to be ass, I really _didn’t_ believe it. There had to be at least one person in this whole castle who Remus talked to _besides_ my cousin and his idiots.

“Never said I hadn’t dated anyone. Just not anyone at the moment. And no, I’m not telling you right now. If you stick around for maybe a year, I’ll tell you then.” Remus winked.

“I’m holding you to that.” I promised. He probably thought I’d forget about it at some point but I made a mental note to specifically bring it up in exactly a year just to mess with him. Sighing through my nose, I pulled a book from my stack and my head dropped backwards in aggravation. “Please tell me you did this on purpose to get back at me.”

He opened his mouth to reply but looked at what I held and stopped himself. Turning to his stack, he returned my aggravated look and held up a similar book. “No. I wished I did but no. Merlin, this is going to harder than I thought.”

We began sorting through our stacks and after a few minutes realized that out of the 40 books that had been Accio’d to us, only 3 were actual informational books. The rest…well, the rest were smutty romance books about time travel. _Ugh_. Throwing the last trashy book into the useless pile, I sat back in my chair roughly. “How can there be _nothing_ on time travel? There are Time Turners, there _has_ to be more than this.”

Remus ran a hand through his hair and leaned back in his own chair. “Actually, Time Turners are strictly regulated so there’s not much public information on them. Only a very select group of people are allowed to use them and you have to go through the Department of Mysteries which takes forever. After the explosion in 1659, all Time Turners became property of the Ministry and anyone found with one is sent to Azkaban.”

Explosion… “What explosion?”

Grabbing one of the thick books, he turned to a page and passed it over to me. _A History of Magic Year 5_. Pointing at a paragraph, he summarized it for me quickly. “They were trying to see how far back they could go. There was a group of Mystery workers who used potions and different spells on the Time Turners. One day, there was an explosion in the Department and the group disappeared for a bit. They all ended up returning but - “ He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widening at a realization. “Most were sent to St. Mungo’s for raving about going to the future or the past.”

It _couldn’t_ be that easy. It just couldn’t. “Who was in this group?”

“No one knows. My dad works for the Ministry and when we wrote a paper on it 2 years ago, I tried to ask him so I could get extra credit.” I gave him a dry look which he ignored. “Dad says that anything that happens in the Department of Mysteries _stays_ there. He’s worked there for years and hasn’t even met anyone who works in it.”

“So this is a bust, isn’t it?” Damn it. I thought _maybe_ I’d finally get some answers but we were right back where we started. With nothing. Thinking it over, I voiced my thoughts, trying to piece together what could’ve happened. “Ok, this group, they disappeared and some went to the future and some went to the past…what if some went to a different _plane?_ ”

“Like you?” Remus asked, automatically acting a sounding board. “They did rip open time _in_ the Department of Mysteries, it’s possible.”

My mind started whirling, filling in possibilities. “Say one of my ancestors was in this group. They traveled to my world and had a kid there -”

“And the ability to travel passes down. But wouldn’t you have heard of any of your family members disappearing? The group was gone for hours and even days.” He shot back.

Not disappearing. But - “What if traveling makes you go insane?”

Remus’ faced turned confused, not following my train of thought. “What do you mean?”

“My family…” I paused, slightly uncomfortable with sharing this bit of my history. I hadn’t even told Emmy this. When we did our family report last year, I had left out the crazy bits, knowing my teacher wouldn’t know the difference. But I trusted Remus. He wouldn’t judge me based on my family’s past. I hoped. “We had to do a genealogy paper in school. Everyone goes back as far as they can. I have it saved on my phone, which of course is at home, but…when I did mine, I found out that my family has a lot of…mental illness.”

“Mental illness?” His tone was curious, not judgmental which I was grateful for.

Swallowing thickly, I continued. “Someone in practically every other generation in my family ended up in a mental hospital. I have no idea what for but…Great-Aunt Dorothy was the last one. She lives about 20 minutes from my house in a psych ward. It looks like a planation but everyone knows it’s not. And since it’s every other generation…I think I got the short straw.”

“Syd, you’re not mentally unstable.” Remus replied, concern in his voice. “You’re completely sane. Besides being unable to _not_ punch people or keep your mouth shut when you’re in danger -“

“I get it.” I interrupted with a hand up. “What if they weren’t mentally unstable though? What if they _traveled?_ When they got back, they didn’t know what happened and freaked. Even in my time, if I went around claiming I’d been using magic and hanging out with a werewolf, I’d be chucked in the looney bin faster than you could blink.”

“But you knew about us.” He pointed out, looking thoughtful. “You knew who we were before you got here.”

“Because of the books. Dumbledore implied that I wasn’t the only Traveler when I first got here. But everything that author wrote was mostly 14 years from now and it’s all about -“ I stopped mid-sentence, almost smacking myself in the forehead. That was a close one. Remus watched me expectantly and I continued, purposefully _not_ mentioning a certain Chosen One. “Your future. And since I already know about this world, maybe that means I won’t go crazy when I go back?”

“You won’t go mad, Syd. You are way too stubborn to let yourself be a complete nutter.” He barked out a laugh when I chucked a paperback at his head. Catching it neatly, he turned serious again. “We need to find out those names.”

“And my ancestors’ names. If go back -“ _If_. I didn’t like it but that was the reality. If. “I’ll try to get my phone. I have no idea if it’ll work but at least we could try”

“I wouldn’t.” Remus warned. “Anything electronic doesn’t work with this much magic around. The only way that record player in the common room works is because it’s wizard built. If you bring your - uh, fong? - here, the castle magic might destroy it and then we’ll never know.”

I smiled at the mutilated word. Remus might be half-blood but phones like my cell were still a ways off. “Well, maybe I can print it out and bring it back. In the mean time, we need to figure out a way to find those names.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really debating put the traveling stuff this soon but it wrote itself. And then willow came out and that video...it was just too perfect. I might struggle with parts of this but other parts just keep going until I have almost 6000 words in a chapter.
> 
> Ok brb listening to evermore for the next 3 months.
> 
> Thank you for all the love, kudos, and comments. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


	34. From My Head to My Heart

Girls’ night. Or Birds’ Night. I was having a _Birds’ Night_ with Lily, Ali, and Mar. I don’t even know what happened. One minute I was at dinner, trying not to brush against Sirius, the next I was being dragged up the staircase and wrangled into my pajamas. _Literally_. I never realized how strong Lily was.

Cushions littered the floor, Tux curled up in the middle, looking ecstatic at the attention Mar and Ali were showering him with. Lily patted the cushion next to her and I collapsed grumpily, accepting the mug she shoved in my direction. I took a sip and spat it out in shock. “What the hell is _this?_ Gasoline?”

The girls giggled at her but Lily had a strange, curious look in her eye. Shaking her head, she took a sip of her own mug and winced. “Burnbon. Mar had a rough time with Firewhiskey last time so we switched. Burns twice as much as Firewhiskey plus there’s no cinnamon flavor.”

Huh. I hadn’t told Lily my aversion to cinnamon but it seemed she picked up on it all the same. I took another sip of the Burnbon and winced. She wasn’t wrong, it _did_ burn going down but I could already feel the warmth spreading through me from one sip. I had to be careful though. I wasn’t the best at keeping my mouth shut when I drank, at least when I drank wine, and the last thing I needed was the three girls knowing about my Traveling. There really was no good way to get out of this one though.

“Soooo Syd,” Marlene drawled, turning our attention towards her. The blonde looked like she was going to burst with excitement. “Have you decided between your suitors yet?”

Alice giggled at the question, holding her sides. I rolled my eyes and gave Mar a raised eyebrow. “What suitors? Jaimy drives away anyone who gets within 2 feet of me.”

“Except for Sirius.” Lily muttered into her mug. I shot her a look and she pointedly looked away innocently.

“Sirius, Remus, Regulus,” Mar dramatically sighed and flung a hand against her forehead. “ _Fabian_. Even _Mary_ wants to date you.”

“Don’t be offended, Syd.” Alice said sweetly. “Our lives are so _dull_ compared to yours. Not that I’m not perfectly happy with Frank but -“ Alice sighed dreamily. “It would be fun to have boys fighting over me.”

“I’ll trade you.” I offered, taking another sip of the Burnbon. I managed to not cough as it slid down my throat. Side-eying the redhead next to me, I grinned evilly. “Besides, I thought you’d be more invested in Jily than my life. Now _that_ is a slow burn if I ever saw one.”

Marlene and Alice screeched in approval as Lily glared daggers at me. A pillow whacked me in the face, completely surprising me. Startled, my mouth dropped open at the attack. Lily pointed at me with mock anger. “Don’t even start. James and I are not and never will be _Jily_. So get it out of your head or I’ll -“

“Whack me with a pillow, again?” Grinning, I held up a hand to stop another pillow from hitting my face. “But then we’d be related! Come on, Lils! Don’t you want to be my cousin-in-law?”

Her eyes narrowed. “The day I marry James is the day pigs fly.”

“That can be arranged.” I taunted, waving my wand in the air. A pillow smacked the wand out of my hand and I fell back with a laugh, Mar and Ali echoing with their own.

We settled down and Marlene propped her head in her hand. “You really won’t give James a chance? He’s quite a catch.”

“ _You_ date him then.” Lily shot back, grumpily drinking from her mug.

Mar gave her a wide smile. “I’ve already caught myself a catch. But really, he’s a completely different bloke than he was last year. He’s more responsible and caring -“

“He’s barely hexed Snape this year, which is _huge_.” Alice added, tapping her chin. “Actually, I don’t think he _has_ hexed Snape yet.”

“James is only trying to impress Dumbledore since he was made Head Boy.” Lily protested, a slight blush on her cheeks. “I’m not going to start swooning over him because he finally grew up.”

“He’s so fit, too.” Marlene continued, as if Lily hadn’t said a word. “Especially after Quidditch practice. All sweaty and muscly, those arms.”

“Oh, Lily got to see the whole package a few weeks ago. And was pretty fascinated with a different body part.” I smirked as Alice and Mar’s jaws dropped open in shock and Lily’s whole face turned a brilliant red.

“LILY EVANS!” Marlene yelled, launching herself at the blushing girl. She wrapped her arms around Lily and shook her gently. “You saw James Potter _naked?_ ”

“He - we - it was Sydney’s fault!” Lily sputtered, trying to turn the attention away from herself.

I put a hand up in defense. “Hey, no one told you to go storming into the boys’ dorm after Jaimy got out of the shower. Or to tackle Jaimy.”

Her glare was worth it. I was leaving out a bit of the story since that was the day she had found out about my mate bite and the boys being Animangi. _Clearly_ we couldn’t tell the girls that but it was way too much funny teasing Lily over her obvious attraction to my cousin. “I was _not_ looking at his - his -“

“His what, Lily? His leg?” Her blush deepened and I smothered a laugh. “ _Fine_ , if you won’t date Jaimy then what _are_ you looking for in a guy?”

Lily pursed her lips, crossing her arms with a huff as Mar slid off of her and went back to her cushions. “Well, he’s got to be kind, thoughtful, caring, brave -“

“Sooooo James.” Alice ducked as a pillow flew towards her. We erupted into giggles once again. I took another sip from my mug but realized it was empty. Before I could even open my mouth, Lily refilled the cup. 

This was going to be a long night.

——

“You’re enjoying this too much.” A voice drawled behind James. He turned to see Moony who walked up to his right side. James smirked, his attention going back to the Ravenclaws stumbling around the field.

“Bloody deserve worse.” He replied, crossing his arms.

“Didn’t say they didn’t but you shouldn’t be smiling like that as they die.” Moony chuckled.

“Padfoot functional yet?” James asked before barking at the Ravenclaws to run another lap. The night before, after the girls had dragged his cousin upstairs, the Marauders had gone up to have a similar evening. About an hour into their night, Padfoot had realized that Syd was _pissed_ and felt a bit of her drunkenness. The bond had numbed itself eventually but Padfoot would be feeling _two_ hangovers this morning.

“I left him a Pepper-Up potion. Should be fine by the time we head in. He suggested grabbing breakfast for the girls.” Moony watched one of the fifth years trip halfway across the field. “If the others were even half as piss drunk as Syd, they’re going to be a mess. Syd’s lucky that Pads has an insane tolerance or last night would’ve been a nightmare.”

James hummed his agreement, not wanting to talk about Padfoot’s tolerance level. It was something that bothered James because he knew _why_ it was so high. He’d been there for many nights where Padfoot barely knew his own name. “Worm up?”

“Headed to breakfast already.” Moony reported, pausing intentionally for a few moments. James shot a look over at the silent werewolf. Moony shook his head, a motion he made when he had been debating something in his mind and finally made a decision. James had seen it numerous times on the observant seventh year and it never bode well. “I talked to Worm last night, after the two of you passed out.”

Uh oh. Definitely not well. “And? What is it this time? He get caught in the girls’ loo again?”

Moony grimaced at the mention of that incident. Worm had a tendency to…wander into places he wasn’t supposed to. At first, it had been a laugh but now that they were older…well, it wasn’t so innocent. They’d talked to him a few times, trying to get their friend to understand that it wasn’t ok to do things like that. James sighed at the look on Moony’s face. “Not exactly.”

“Well?” James asked, not liking the suspense.

“Worm fancies Syd.” Moony spit out finally. James’ eyes widened in shock. In any other friendship, this might seem like an overstep. But for the Marauders, there were no secrets. Once one found out, it was fair game to share with the others. It was a part of their code. It might have caused a few fights over the years but overall it made their friendship stronger. _This_ was something that needed to be kept from Padfoot though which was mostly likely the reason Moony was bringing it up.

They didn’t know how the soul mate bond was going to affect Syd and Padfoot but they _did_ know that Padfoot might be unintentionally cruel towards Worm if he found out about Worm’s crush. Pads didn’t truly mean it, majority of the time he was projecting his own insecurities onto others but James and Moony knew that one of the Marauders liking Syd might cause Padfoot to become territorial over her. They’d already seen how he had reacted with the misunderstanding over Moony and Syd, it wasn’t too much of a stretch to say that any of the Marauders _actually_ liking Syd would not end well. James rubbed his temples, feeling a headache forming. “He said that?”

“Not outright but…you know how Worm can be.” Moony shrugged, glossing over the signs of Worm fancying someone. He didn’t have much luck when it came to the opposite sex and although they had given him some pointers, Worm always came on a little too strong. Fourth year had been a particularly rough year when Worm had been fancying Mary McDonald. He’d steal the Cloak and follow her any chance he got until he and Pads caught him one night as he watched her in the common room where she’d fallen asleep. After that, it seemed like they’d gotten through to Worm and he had realized the severity of stalking the girls he fancied. Luckily, Mary hadn’t known about the extreme levels of Worm’s crush and when he’d finally asked her out she had politely informed him that he wasn’t her type. As in _male_. That ended that fancy pretty quickly.

And now Worm fancied his cousin.

Who was bonded to his temperamental best mate.

_Wonderful._

“I’m not stopping Pads if Worm gets up to his old tricks. Hell, _I’ll_ help him. Do you think it’s serious? McDonald serious?” James asked, dreading the answer.

Moony sighed, crossing his arms. “I hope not but we should keep an eye on him. I’m more worried about Syd avadaing him than Padfoot. If Worm tries something like that around _her_ , I’m not sure _anyone_ could stop her from murdering him.”

James hated to admit it but he wouldn’t blame Syd if she did. The Marauders had defended Worm and covered up for his odd tendencies for years but there was a line you just didn’t cross. Syd was that line.

Merlin help Wormtail if he took it too far. Moony was right, there was no one who would be able to save him from Syd.

——

I was dying. Legitimately _dying_. Ripping my eyelids open, I stumbled to the bathroom to pee my brains out. Somehow I managed to not go face first into the counter or puke everywhere.

Birds’ Night had gone on until 3am. We had had two entire bottles of Burnbon between the four of us and fell asleep on the mountain of cushions. The night was a slight blur but I distinctly remembered that I had been tight lipped about my Traveling. Then again, we hadn’t talked about anything that would trigger me to spill the beans. 

And from what I _did_ remember, Burnbon made me a giggly 12 year old not a chatty 17 year old so _that_ was good. Thank God for small favors. I splashed water on my face then brushed my teeth, trying to get the cottony taste out. Gripping the counter, I steadied myself as I felt my body tipping towards the right.

Good _lord_ I was never drinking again. My head pounded as I slowly walked back out into the dorm. The other girls were sprawled out, Lily was _snoring_. Oh man, now _that_ was hilarious. Tux was no where to be seen so I assumed he’d gone off to find Sirius or James or Remus. I was lucky he’d taken to them so quickly cause right now, the thought of having to walk down the stairs to take him out was _painful_.

I put a hand on the doorframe, swaying again. Coffee. Must get coffee. Slowly, oh so slowly, I clung to the rail as I cautiously stepped down the stairs. I was also debating if sliding on my butt the whole way down was acceptable. If I had to question it, probably not.

Tux greeted me at the last step and I gingerly scratched his head. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to push down the urge to vomit. “Not on the carpet, love. Even with magic, it’s hard to get out.”

Looking up, I found Sirius and the other Marauders around the fireplace with- with- “What is this?”

“Breakfast, nutter.” Jaimy answered loudly. I winced and rubbed my head. He grinned at the motion. “Pads said you lot had a late night.”

The Marauders had brought up breakfast for us. The entire coffee table was overflowing with food and -

_Coffee._

Shuffling carefully, I came around the couch then promptly tripped on the rug. Sirius shot a hand out, catching me under the armpit and helping me avoid face planting into the table. 

“Thanks,” I breathed out gratefully, giving Sirius a small smile. My knees were on the carpet, Sirius managing to save me from injury but not the floor, and instead of standing back up to sit on the couch in my normal spot, I settled on the floor next to Jaimy. Sirius’ leg was against my back and as I felt him move it away, probably because I’d been avoiding him for the last two days, I moved my left hand behind my back to stop him.

The gesture went unnoticed by everyone except Sirius who didn’t say a word but moved his leg back to where it had been, a steady brace against my back. I still wasn’t sure about this whole bond thing but I did know that right at this moment, I felt better having Sirius right there. Even if it was only to keep me upright.

“Here, love.” A mug appeared from above and a whine, a fucking _whine_ , escaped my throat as I grabbed it. The boys smirked as I gulped down the incredible liquid, so unbelievably happy that I had _coffee_ now.

“Seems like you lot had a good Birds’ Night.” Remus commented with a smirk. I winced at the loudness of his voice. Sirius had been talking at a low volume but the others - _gleefully_ , might I add - were talking louder than normal. Assholes.

“Yes, lots of fun, lots of booze, lots of gossiping, and now, lots of me trying not to puke everywhere. We -“ I cut off as a blob landed next to me. Red hair was everywhere as Lily slumped into my shoulder to prop herself up.

“Coffee,” She mumbled pitifully. 

“My, how the mighty have fallen. Looking brilliant as ever, Lily.” Jaimy chuckled next to me and I winced at the growl that came from Lily.

“Potter, if there isn’t coffee in my hand in _two seconds_ -“ The mug was already under her nose before she finished, James giving her a grin. Grudgingly, she took it and sipped it with a sigh. “Please tell me it’s Saturday and we don’t have classes today.”

“Aww, look at you getting the days right even when you’re still pissed.” Sirius ruffled Lily’s hair and another growl rumbled from her. I bit my lip to hold in my laugh as Sirius snatched his hand away. “Alright, no need to bite my hand off. Yes, Lilykins, it’s Saturday.”

She muttered to herself from my side. “Love bloody Saturdays. Never drinking again. Bloody Burnbon.”

I gave her a pat on the thigh before snatching a piece of bacon from the table. I groaned at the taste, so thankful to be eating such delicious food. I really needed to stop making so many noises while eating but my entire filter seemed to be turned off.

The boys picked up their conversation about the Quidditch match next Sunday. I still hadn’t been to one so I was pretty excited that I’d get to finally go. If I didn’t end up in the hospital wing again. Lily and I stayed silent and continued to pick at the array of food before us. My head snapped forward suddenly and I realized I had fallen asleep sitting up. Lily’s head had fallen into my lap, sleeping soundly.

Yawning, I decided it was time for us to head back to bed and give up on this day. I didn’t have the brain power to try and function. I nudged Lily awake and taking my silent cue, she pushed herself up and stumbled towards the stairs. When she was almost there, she paused then sprinted up the staircase.

Poor Lily. Pushing myself up, I muttered a thank you to the boys for breakfast then once again - and I _swear_ it was not on purpose - fell right on top of Sirius. He caught me gracefully and laughed. I let my head drop forward to rest on his collarbone with a sigh. “I’m never drinking again.”

“Don’t say that, love. _We_ still haven’t seen you smashed and I feel like it’s a sight to see.” I could hear the smirk on Sirius’ face. Yes, _hear_ it in his smug voice. “Besides, you’re not very graceful on sober days, I didn’t expect anything less from you.”

Frowning, I scowled at him and pushed myself up out of his arms. The look on his face was too amused and smug for this early in the morning. The bastard. “You’re not very graceful either - _umph_.” 

My arms flailed as the heel of my foot tripped over the edge of the rug under the couch. Sirius, moved so fast, I had no time to even brace myself for the almost fall before he stood and caught me around the waist, pulling me into his chest. This time, he grinned widely as he looked down at me. “You were saying?”

Every single nerve in my body was on _fire_. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were literal sparks flying where we touched. My breath was caught in my throat, my brain trying to get back online with a witty comeback. “That you - you -“

“Are both making me sick. Pads unless you’re going to carry her up, which might be safer for her, let go of my cousin.” Jaimy said from below us. We both looked down at the messy haired boy to see him watching us expectantly. 

“Bed.” I muttered with embarrassment. “Bed is good. Thank you again for breakfast. Night.”

I disentangled myself from Sirius who reluctantly let go. I felt the same reluctance as we separated and I stumbled up the stairs. We hadn’t talked about the bond yet, I’d been avoiding any possible chance for us to be alone for that to even happen, but I couldn’t deny that being near him just felt…right.

Jesus, I was so screwed.

——

We spent the majority of the day laying in bed and trying to become human again even after two Pepper-Up potions. It was a struggle. I had no idea what the boys got up to but by the time we had sat down to dinner, they were filthy. I’m assuming it was Quidditch but to be honest, I didn’t have enough brain cells left to ask them. Ali and Mar, after sleeping most of the day, seemed to be back to normal. Lily and I, on the other hand, were still feeling our terrible choices from the night before. At the moment, we were in our dorm, discussing books and trying not to move too much.

“But if - _ow._ ” A sharp pain went through my right hand. I looked down at it as if I’d never seen it before. Another sharp pain shot through it. “What the - _SHIT_.”

Air whooshed out of me as if -

As if I had just been _punched_. Clutching my ribs, I took a second to catch my breath. Lily placed her hand on my shoulder, asking if I was alright. “I - _ow._ ”

Another sharp pain went through my hand. Without another word to Lily, I stumbled down the stairs and straight up to the boys’ dorm. Flinging the door open, I found Sirius and James tangled up in each other. Sirius had his arm pulled back, about to punch James again.

“ _Stop!_ ” I screamed. The boys, before they realized I was even there, slid backwards from each other as if they were pushed. Their faces whipped towards me in surprise. “What in the absolute _fuck_ are you doing?!”

“Prongs -“

“Padfoot -“

“I couldn’t bloody take it anymore -“

“I was _worried_ -“

“Then ask _her!_ ” Sirius threw an arm in my direction.

My eyes narrowed as I realized what this was about. Turning my gaze towards my cousin, I clenched my fists to stop from punching him myself. “Were you asking Sirius how I was feeling _again?_ ”

Jaimy looked between Sirius and I glaring at him with equal amounts of annoyance. “I was _worried!_ ”

“And you think that makes it ok to try and pry into our bond?” I spat. The bond, and everything about the bond, was between me and _Sirius_ not me and Jaimy.

James threw his hands up in frustration. “Padfoot has been all gloom and doom since we found out and I was trying to figure out how you were feeling so I could fix both of you! I was trying to help!”

“You haven’t asked _me_ once how _I’m_ feeling, Jaimy! You’ve asked Sirius!” I yelled, flinging my arm in the dark haired boy’s direction. “ _I’m_ the one freaking out! I’ve been dropped into this entirely different life, I’ve been almost killed multiple times, and now I have a _soulmate!_ But you have been asking _Sirius_ how I’m feeling, not _me!_ I can’t feel what Sirius is feeling but considering he was rightfully punching your stupid face, he’s as pissed off about you being an insensitive asshole as me! Stop asking _him_ how I’m feeling! Ask _me!_ ”

“ _He_ at least talks!” James yelled back, his face turning red. “ _You_ push all of us away the minute something serious happens! _This_ -“ He gestured between Sirius and I. “This bond, this is not something you can run away from or punch, Syd! This bond is for _life_.”

“You think I don’t realize that?!” My voice cracked, betraying how scared I was about all this. Could he not even _see_ how scared I was? “I’m 17 years old, Jaimy! That’s entirely too young to _bond_ with someone for _life_. I’ve never even _heard_ that soulmates were real. I thought they were made up! And now I _have one!_ You have absolutely no _idea_ how I’m feeling about all this though because you never _asked!_ I’m scared! I don’t want Sirius stuck with me for the rest of his life! That’s not _fair!_ ”

“He’s not _stuck with you!_ ” Jaimy argued. His veins were popping out in his neck with how intensely he was yelling. “That’s not how the mate bond _works!_ If he didn’t _want_ to be with you or you didn’t want to be with _him_ , it never would’ve formed! You did that! The two of you did it!”

“This isn’t about the bond, Jaimy!” I said, exasperated that he wasn’t getting it. Sirius and Remus stayed quiet by Remus’ bed, watching us cautiously, Peter over on his own. “It’s about _you!_ I’m pissed at _you_ right now. My issues with Sirius are an entirely different story! I’m still a person and you’re acting as though I’m just an extension of Sirius! We are two different people, bond or no bond. Even if I did end up pushing you away if you asked, you _still should have asked!_ ”

I was done with him. I literally couldn’t stand to look at him another second. Without another word, without letting him try and defend himself _again_ , I stormed out of the dorm and straight out of the Tower. How _dare_ he act like it wasn’t completely fucked up of him to ask _Sirius_ how I was feeling. Whatever this soulmate bond thing was, it was between _me and Sirius_. Jaimy had absolutely no right butting in and trying to get Sirius to tell him what I was feeling. It was invasive for both of us.

And to do it _constantly_ over the last few days, even when Sirius told him to stop, was out of line. Everything was still so new and it felt like he was treating Sirius and I like an experiment. Not to mention that he _was_ acting as if I was part of Sirius and not my own person. Steaming, I stomped my way down the stairs, not sure where I was headed but needing a place to cool off for a bit.

——

“Can you believe her?” Prongs threw his arm towards the door dramatically. Remus glanced over at Padfoot with a raised eyebrow, hoping he’d jump in and set Prongs right. “ _Stuck with you!_ She acts as if she knows everything and -“

“Prongs, stop it, she’s right.” Padfoot interrupted angrily. Prongs spun towards them, eyes wide with disbelief. Remus thanked Merlin under his breath, grateful he didn’t have to be the one to tell Prongs he was completely in the wrong. “You’ve been an arse about this.”

“ _I’m_ the arse?! Did you even _hear_ her?” He shot back, his defenses going up again.

In disbelief at Prongs’ attitude, Padfoot continued. “I’ve been telling you for _days_ to stop asking how she’s feeling. The bond is between _us_ not you, me, and Syd. Whatever she’s feeling, you’re not supposed to know, I am.”

“I’m worried about her! And you! Her acting as if she can ignore this and push down her feelings is hurting _you_ , Padfoot!” Prongs said, pleading with Padfoot to understand why he kept asking about Syd. Remus hated that he saw both sides to this. Syd had every right to be angry at Prongs but he was coming from a good place.

“That’s _my_ problem, not _yours_ , Prongs! Neither of us has any bloody idea what to do but you need to stop asking _me_ how _she_ is feeling!” Padfoot yelled back, frustration lining his face. “You can be so _dim_ sometimes! Gah!”

Padfoot threw his hands up and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut as hard as he could. Prongs spun towards him and Worm who had been silently watching on the sidelines. Remus immediately put his hands up defensively. “I’m with them on this one. You’re being an arse.”

Prongs stared Wormtail down until he muttered his support. “I mean, you were only looking out for them.”

“Thank you, Worm!” Prongs huffed then glared at Remus. Rolling his eyes, Remus grabbed his book from his bedside table and brushed past his obnoxious friend.

“Still an arse.” Remus shot at him as he swept down the stairs, grinning at the noise Prongs made.

——

I was lost. Or relatively lost. I had cooled off from my fight with Jaimy and wandered the halls for a while. It was probably time to head back though, I couldn’t avoid him _and_ Sirius forever. I was on the 4th floor I think. So if I turned down that hall ahead, I’d - 

“ - don’t I believe you, Reggie? Has she charmed you just like your brother?” The cruel voice sent a shiver down my spine, goosebumps erupting along my arms. _Bellatrix._

“Of course not,” I could almost hear Reg’s eye roll. “She’s even worse than him from what I’ve been hearing. Can’t keep her skirt down and when she’s not shagging half the school, she’s terrorizing the other half. If she weren’t such a self righteous Gryffindor, I’d say she was in Slytherin.”

Bellatrix scoffed as I moved closer to the wall, able to hear them perfectly from around the corner. And unless they decided to walk this way, they would have no idea I was listening. Also _great_ to know what Regulus actually thought of me. The ass. “Don’t insult our great House. Continue keeping an eye on her -“

“Bella, I _told_ you, she’s nothing. It was just a coincidence that she was at the Weeping Witch that night.” Regulus protested, sounding exactly like an annoyed teenager. “She’s not a threat to Lord Voldemort.”

“Will just do as you’re _told?_ ” Bellatrix spat. I was curious why Reg would try and downplay me to her though. He didn’t know me that well but it seemed like he was trying to divert her attention away from me. Hmm. Interesting. “Watch the little tramp and report if anything happens. Swear, it’s like trying to teach a House Elf to _not_ clean.”

There was silence for a moment and I thought that maybe Bellatrix had slipped away but then Reg spoke, his tone softer than it had been before. “How’s Cissy? The baby?”

A deep sigh escaped Bellatrix. It _sounded_ like she was sad or concerned but…it was Bellatrix. I doubt she had the capacity for those feelings. “She lost it three nights ago. A boy. She hasn’t gotten out of bed since. If it wasn’t for the elf force feeding her, I would’ve taken her to St. Mungo’s that night. You know how _Lucius_ is though,” Bellatrix’s voice became mocking. “What would people say?”

“He’s an arse.” Reg growled dangerously. They fell silent for a minute again and all I could hear was them breathing. “Tell her I’ll send her chocolate frogs tomorrow. That I’m -“

“She knows. And she’ll hex you if you say you’re sorry to her face. Send the chocolate but don’t be mushy in your letter. I don’t need her _crying_ on top of the depression.” Bellatrix said dismissively. “And do your job. Don’t disappoint us, Reggie.”

I heard a click, a door I think, and then the hall was silent. Crossing my arms, I leaned against the stone and waited. I didn’t have to wait long.

“And here I thought you just liked my charming personality.” I smirked as Regulus’ face dropped and went 7 shades whiter.

“Rose.” He replied hoarsely.

“If you’re going to have super secret club meetings, I would _suggest_ not having them in the halls even if they seem deserted.” My head cocked to the side, the smirk still on my face, as he stared at me with disbelief.

“How much did you hear?” Reg demanded.

“Enough.” I shrugged, trying to go for nonchalant. This was the perfect distraction from my _other_ issue. Although baiting Reg could also cause new ones. “I’m slightly offended. You really don’t think I’m worth telling Voldy about? Not that I want _him_ up my ass but you barely know me, you _really_ shouldn’t underestimate me.”

His wand was out and pointed at my throat before I could blink. Yup, new problem. Reg’s cool gray eyes locked onto mine harshly. “ _How_ do you know about _him?_ ”

“What? Too scared to say his name out loud in front of me?” I taunted. He narrowed his eyes at the tone, pressing his wand further into my neck. “Voldemort. Voldemort. Voldemort.”

I mockingly looked around with wide eyes. Well, I moved as much as I could. That wand was _really_ digging in. “Huh, I thought for sure it would Beetlejuice him to us. Maybe if I - “

I wrapped my hand around his left forearm and squeezed gently. Regulus snatched his arm away from me and took one step back, his eyes growing wide with fear again. “Are you _mad?_ You _want_ him to find you?”

“You seem a little worried about him finding out about me. Am I really _that_ charming?” I winked, leaning so my whole back was against the wall.

“This isn’t a _joke_ , Rose. I just _saved_ your ass with - no, I don’t have to explain myself to _you_. Tell me what the bloody hell you know.” He growled and pointed his wand at my face.

I raised one eyebrow and stepped closer, keeping my eyes focused on his. With a knowing look at his arm, I met his eyes again. “How about _you_ tell _me_ if you’ve officially joined his little club?”

“You know -“ He started but I rolled my eyes and cut him off.

“Yes, I know about your boy band. Death Eaters? Really? Could you all at least _try_ and be a bit more scary?” Gray eyes watched me warily, waiting for me to continue. “I know you’re supposed to be recruiting. That you, the majority of your fucked up family, and quite a few others are building an army. _And_ that Bellatrix is up to something beyond that. A special mission from your boss man concerning some… _rare_ items.”

I _wasn’t_ sure but the look on Regulus’ face confirmed my guess. Lord, this boy _needed_ to work on his poker face. He swallowed roughly as I stared up at him, only a few inches separating us. I wrapped my hand slowly around his, the one holding his wand, and lowered it so I had an unobstructed view. “So? Got some new ink you want to show me, Reg?”

“No.” He whispered, keeping eye contact with me. “I haven’t - no, not yet. Soon though. Rose, you can’t tell anyone. _No one_ can know that you know.”

“Or what? You’ll have to kill me?” I said lightly. His face darkened at the ill timed joke.

“Because _they_ will kill you.” Regulus said seriously, taking a step towards me. I backed up as he steered me into the wall. “You have _no idea_ what they’ll do you if they find out you know.”

“Yes I do, Reg.” I whispered back, memories of watching Hermione in the Malfoy Manor screaming flickered through my head. There was no doubt that Bellatrix would do worse if she ever got a hold of me. “And I know that it’s not too late to get out.”

“Get _out?_ ” He hissed, close enough now that I could see that his irises were _almost_ a match to Sirius’. Except where Sirius had a blend of grays that made them sparkle when the light hit them, Regulus’ were a flat gray, almost absorbing the light. “There is no _getting out_. He would hunt me down and make an example of me if I even _thought_ about it.”

“I think you can.” I reasoned, trying to get through to him. If he thought there _was_ a chance then maybe he’d actually be able to be saved before he was supposed to die. “I trust you, Reg. I -“

A gasp from our right had both our heads whipping towards the noise. Peter stood at the corner across the hallway staring at us with wide eyes. _Fuck._

“Sorry! Didn’t - going! Going now!” Peter squeaked, spinning faster than I thought he could move, disappearing from our view. I shoved my palm against Reg’s chest and raced towards the corner. To see it was empty.

“ _Shit_. Shit, shit, _shit_.” I turned and punched the stone wall in frustration. Then cursed _more_ from the pain. “Fucking motherfucking shit balls!”

“Merlin, Rose. Were you _trying_ to put your hand through the wall?” Reg came up behind me, gently taking my hand to inspect the damage. I shook him off, ignoring the pain shooting up my arm.

“I have to go.” He wrapped a hand around my forearm, stopping my movements but I tugged it away, needing to _go_ but he held on. “Reg, I _have_ to catch him before he gets to Sirius. I can’t - _please_ , Reg. We will talk about this later but I _have_ to go.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Rose.” He pressed his lips together, his brows furrowing. “And don’t talk about this. To _anyone_. Not even my brother.”

I was about to comment on his word choice. _Brother_. He still called Sirius his brother. The urge to _go_ went through me again. “I can’t promise that. Not when it comes to Sirius.”

“Are you really that tied up with him that you can’t keep things to yourself?” He asked curiously, _still holding on_.

My breath was getting shorter. Sirius couldn’t hear about this from _Peter_. He couldn’t. I might be running away this whole bond thing but if Sirius thought I was messing around with Reg, like _actually_ messing around with him, it would be worse than the Remus situation. “It’s not - I can’t - _Reg_ , let _go_.”

He stumbled back a few steps, a surprised look on his face, and I _ran_. My feet flew across the carpeted stone, barely touching it as I sprinted from the 4th floor corridor towards the Tower. Fucking Peter. What was he even _doing_ there? I knew _exactly_ how it would look from an outside perspective. _Fuck_ it even _sounded_ bad. _I trust you, Reg_. Why in the ever loving _fuck_ did Peter have the _worst_ timing?! It was literally _so_ out of context but I _knew_ Peter was going to twist it so it sounded way worse than it was.

I stumbled up the stairs and spat out the password to the Fat Lady. Rushing in, I found half the group in their normal spot. Remus, Lily, Jaimy, and Marlene all turned with identical shocked looks. Before they could open their mouths to ask what was wrong, I panted out, “Where is he?”

Jaimy reacted first. “Syd, wh -“

“Sirius! Where. Is. _He?_ ” I demanded, looking at each of them intensely.

“Up but -“ Remus started. I was already flying up the stairs towards their dorm. Flinging the thin door open, I scanned the room. Before I could call out, Sirius opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out in only a towel. Worried about being back to where we were a few weeks ago, where we barely talked, barely _looked_ at each other, I couldn’t help the hysterical tone in my voice. “What did he say to you?”

Sirius’ head tilted slightly to the side in confusion. “Love, wh -“

“Peter! What did he tell you?! Cause it’s not at all -“

“Love, I haven’t -“

“Because it’s not my fault _none_ of you know what personal space is! It’s like all of you have some weird defect that you _have_ to be _inches_ from me! You know, back home I’ve punched people for getting that close to me! But _here_ , I just _let_ you all do it! I -“

Two large palms grasped my shoulders, the warmth of them seeping through Jaimy’s flannel. Sirius kept his gaze focused on me as he spoke calmly. “Breathe, love. I have no idea what you’re going on about.”

My breath _was_ coming in gasps now that I’d stopped pacing. “Y-you don’t? But -“

“I haven’t seen Wormtail since you ran out. Now, would you please tell me why you’re wound tighter than the Whomping Willow?” His hands slid down to rest comfortingly on my forearms, his thumbs moving back and forth. My chest _melted_ at the feeling. Man, I’d never wanted to have bare arms more than I did at that moment. And his chest was - “Love?”

“Sorry,” I shook my head, meeting his eyes to keep my own from staring at his chest again. “Peter saw me with Reg.” Sirius opened his mouth but I steamrolled over him. “It wasn’t anything! I mean it was, but not like _that_. Not what it looked like. I _swear_ , we were just talking.”

“I believe you, love.” Sirius said with confidence. I stuttered to a halt, not sure how to respond for a moment. 

“You _do?_ ” Disbelief coloring my voice. He _believed_ me? I don’t even know if _I_ believed me. It was a pretty intense conversation with Reg that could have had some sexual tension if it wasn’t such a serious topic. “Why?”

Sirius gave me a soft smile, his head tilting again. God, I _loved_ it when he did that. His hair would sway and sometimes fall into his eyes a bit. I itched to brush it back but clenched my fist instead. “The bond. I know you’re not lying. My _brother_ probably had different intentions but I know you didn’t. What I’m _really_ curious about though is why you felt the need to race here to defend yourself to me. You’ve been avoiding me for the past few days and last I checked, you were free to do what you wanted.” The last part he grumbled, clearly annoyed. “Even if that’s _Reg_.”

My mouth opened and closed, unable to form a response. Then my mouth did it again. And again. “I - you - but, we - you freaked out the last time I was in a compromising position! Remus and I were just talking and you ended up with _Jade_! Why aren’t you mad about this?!”

He eyed me skeptically. “Do you want me to be mad?”

“No! But -“ I gestured between us, at a loss. “It’s Reg! And me! And -“

The sound of the door hitting the wall made us both jump. We turned to see Peter standing in the doorway, panting slightly as he looked between the two of us. “Oh, Syd. You’re here.”

I crossed my arms and glared at the smaller boy. Sirius let his hands fall to rest on my waist and I unconsciously leaned back until my shoulder rested against his chest. “Yes, I’m _here_. Talking to Sirius. _Alone_. Do you _mind?_ ”

Peter looked between us again, blushing furiously as he took in Sirius in only a towel. Man, that Gryffinwhore thing was really going to stick if I kept ending up in these situations. “Uh, no. I mean, yes. Wait, no. I’m going to go now.”

The door clicked shut and I felt Sirius chuckle behind me. I turned with my arms still crossed and one eyebrow raised. “What?”

“I think he almost pissed himself, love. Try to lighten up, Worm is a bit sensitive.” Sirius grinned, his thumbs moving against my hip bones now - and good _Lord_ , was that distracting.

I narrowed my eyes at the tattooed boy. “Maybe he should start minding his own business and stop getting into _mine_.”

“Ah but your business is so much more interesting than his. It’s hard not to get swept up in it.” He raised an eyebrow back at me, challenging me. I huffed with annoyance and he chuckled again at my reaction. “So what were you and my lovely brother discussing? Me, I hope.”

“Actually, Bellatrix.” Sirius’ hands clenched my hips, not hard but firmly holding them.

“ _What?_ ” He hissed, staring at me demandingly.

“She was here.” He opened his mouth but I cut him off, reassuring him that I was fine. “She didn’t see me. I caught him after she left. We were just discussing her. That’s it.” I paused for a second, remembering the end of Reg and Bellatrix’s conversation. Sirius deserved to know. Quietly, I added, “And Narcissa.”

“What about her?” He asked, concern in his voice.

“She lost the baby a few nights ago.” I replied sadly. I hadn’t met her yet but losing a child was one of the worst things I could think of. Poor Narcissa. Hopefully she wouldn’t have to go through it again before Draco. “I’m sorry, Sirius.”

He took a step back, his hands leaving me feeling cold. It could be the bond but it felt _wrong_ when he wasn’t touching me and was upset. And not touching in a scandalous way. Although _that_ would probably be -

Focus, Syd. Jeez.

Sirius ran a hand over his lower jaw, his demeanor completely changing from the news. “Thanks for telling me, Syd. I’m not…I’m not sure anyone else would.”

“You’re welcome.” I whispered, unsure how close he was to Narcissa. Him and Bellatrix _clearly_ didn’t get along while his relationship with Andromeda seemed pretty solid. But Narcissa was a wild card. _He_ cared that she’d lost the baby but did _she_ care about him at all? Reg was upset by the news too so they must have a good relationship. There were so many people and relationships to keep track of here. Speaking of relationships - “We’re good though? You’re not…not mad?”

“Of course not, love.” He replied. “But if you two were only talking about Bella and Cis, what exactly did you think Worm was going to tell me that would upset me?”

_Shit_. Sirius watched me with one eyebrow raised as I tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for _why_ I was so worried. Fucking _Peter_. “I, uh, well, _may_ have said…” I looked down and mumbled the last bit. “Itrustedhim.”

A finger touched right beneath my jaw bone and tilted my head up, forcing me to meet those sparkling gray eyes. “I didn’t quite catch that, love. What did you say to him?”

“That I - I trust him.” There was confusion in those gray irises. Hurt, too. Quickly, I tried to explain, wanting him to understand. “We both know what - _who_ your family is…following. Bellatrix gave Reg a task. To watch _me_.”

Sirius inhaled sharply, anger sweeping over his features. I caught his hand and held it firmly, I had to finish before he got truly upset. “He is but -“

“I’ll kill him.” Sirius growled, a dangerous glint now in his eyes.

“No! Sirius, no. He - he told her I was nothing to be concerned about.” I insisted but I could see the rage building in his face.

“He has some ulterior motive, you don’t know him, Syd.” Sirius looked like he was going to rip the castle apart even if he was only in a towel. 

“He’s your brother, Sirius!” I stood between him and the door, intent on blocking him from going after Reg. 

“My _brother?_ No, _James_ is my brother. Remus and Peter are my _brothers_. _That_ piece of shite, is _not_ my brother!” He yelled, stabbing his finger in the air. “You have no _idea_ what is was like in that house! He _stood_ there and did _nothing_ every time they Crucioed me! He -“

“He was a _child_ , Sirius! He was your younger brother and you protected him! You did what _any_ older sibling would’ve done! What _I’ve_ done! You drew the attention on yourself so he wouldn’t be hurt! You can’t resent him for not standing up for you.” I knew what it was like to protect my siblings from things they shouldn’t have to see. My family had it’s rough patches, ones I barely talked about in therapy when I actually went, so I knew exactly why Sirius had been targeted throughout his childhood. He did it to himself to protect Regulus.

“Why are you defending him?” Sirius asked incredulously, lost to my reasoning even if he could feel what I felt, he didn’t know the why. “He’s _spying_ on you!”

“Reg _protected_ me. She didn’t believe him but he was _trying_ , Sirius. _Really_.”

“It’s a trick! He’s going to manipulate you -“

“Maybe he was doing it for _you!_ Did you even think of that?” Sirius’ mouth open and closed a few times at my words. I didn’t actually know Reg’s motives but he didn’t seem malice. At least not about me. “He knows you care about me and he couldn’t help you but he might be trying to help me _for_ you. He told me not to tell you about Bellatrix and he called you his _brother_. He still cares about you -“

Sirius shook his head, refusing to believe me. “You heard wrong, Syd. He’s planning something and -“

“I heard him. He said some pretty shitty things about me but…he was protecting me. From Voldemort.” There was fear in his eyes now. I had never been close enough to someone, physically or emotionally, to really _see_ emotions in someone’s eyes like this until I came here. I wished they were better ones but I still felt better being able to read his emotions. The bond let him know what I was feeling so I didn’t have that advantage. Seeing these feelings though gave me a sense of what was going through his mind. “He said I wasn’t a concern for _Voldemort_. Sirius, _please_ don’t bring it up around Reg. Let it go. She told him to keep watching me but we can trust him. I know you have your issues with him -“

“Syd -“ He gave me a pleading look but I kept going, _needing_ him to side with me on this.

“ _I_ trust him. He didn’t have to lie to her but he _did_. Maybe he has something up his sleeve, I don’t know but for now, I trust him.” I squeezed his hand, the one I had grabbed while pleading with him and waited for his answer.

Finally, he nodded. Reluctantly but he did. “Alright, love. But the _second_ he loses that trust, if he _hurts_ you, I will end him.”

“Fair enough.” I agreed, hoping Reg wouldn’t do anything to break that trust. We were silent for a moment when it hit me again that Sirius was _naked_. Or almost naked. “I’m going to let you get dressed. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

His eyebrow quirked up along with the side of his mouth. Sirius brought our hands up to his mouth, keeping his eyes locked on mine as he softly kissed the back of my hand. God _damn_ it, I felt myself melting at the touch and had to _force_ myself not to jump the bastard. He was way too charming, it wasn’t _fair_. I swallowed roughly as he spoke. “Or you could -“

“Get dressed, Sirius.” I gently pulled my hand away and shoved his shoulder. “Before Jaimy comes barging up here and starts going on about how you’re defiling me or some nonsense.”

Sirius snorted. “As if _you’re_ not the one with the dirty mind. He should be more worried about my virtue.”

“What virtue? I’m not even sure you know what the word means at this point.” I joked. My eyes strayed towards his chest again. Quickly, I ripped them away and looked back at his face to see his knowing smirk. Dickbag.

“I don’t think you do either, love.” His voice had gone down an octave, almost a grumble which caused my skin to feel tight. A pleasant shiver went down my spine and I tried my best to keep my face calm. “Head on down, I’ll see you in a few.” He paused, raking his eyes up and down my own body. “With clothes.”

Nodding, I swallowed hard and let him step away. As I walked out, about to go down the stairs towards the others, I glanced over my shoulder to see him still watching me. A different kind of heat in his eyes.

One I wanted to see _more_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a great holiday! I really thought I'd have more time to write and boom break is almost over.
> 
> Thank you for all of the love, comments, and kudos. Stay safe and healthy ❤️


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